Total Shuffled All-Stars
by Fangren
Summary: [FIFTH IN THE SHUFFLED SERIES] Last year, Chris McLean was jailed for crimes against nature. But he's now free, and has brought 14 campers from both casts back to Wawanakwa to compete in the most dramatic season yet: Total Drama All-Stars. But these are not the All-Stars you know; they have been Shuffled through time and space. Season 5 AU; pairing and update info in first chapter.
1. Chapter 1 - Heroes vs Villains

**Author's Note**

To those of you returning to the fifth season of the 'Total Shuffled' series, welcome back! To those of you tuning in for the first time, hello! I sure have a treat of a season premiere prepared for all of you today, or what I hope is a treat at least. It should probably go without saying, but _**this is the direct sequel to 'Total Shuffled Revenge of the Island' and thus the seasons that came before it. In order to fully understand what's going on, I suggest you read the rest of the 'Shuffled' series first if you haven't already.**_

This is the penultimate season of the series, and the last one that directly features its first and second generation cast members. As such, you should expect this to be a finale of sorts to a good number of storylines. And I will state going forward that I do intend of writing Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island, _**as I've said previously I do not currently intend on covering the Shuffled equivalent The Ridonculous Race any time in the foreseeable future.**_ Perhaps one day I'll get to it, but it won't be until I've gotten my life settled.

The pairings I intend on using this season will remain a secret for the time being, though mostly because I don't want to spoil the cast I've chosen quite yet. I will also note that I may be open to one or two other pairings if I see the support for them in the reviews. Not gonna tell what they are, though - I don't want to influence your desires like that.

The update schedule should remain the same as it has been since season two - expect an update every Friday afternoon or evening (EST). But, as I have said to no effect for some time now, this schedule is subject to change if and when I get a job.

For those of you waiting for a response to your last TSROTI review, I'll admit that I've been busy and haven't yet gotten the chance to decide what I want or need to answer yet. Please bare with me, I'll try and get to some of them tonight. Also, some of the most recent ones haven't yet shown up on the site, so hopefully that issue will yet again be resolved soon enough.

And lastly, as many of you may know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. Though it's only been a week in our world, over a year has passed in the Shuffledverse. What has changed with the characters we've all come to know and love? Shat has stayed the same? And what will this new season bring?

Read on, find out, and enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 1 – Heroes vs Villains**

The scene opened on a close-up of a manilla envelope being carried in the familiar black-skinned hand of Chef Hatchet. A loud crashing noise like a heavy door being shut opened in turn for a low but tense musical score which was quickly joined by a metallic clatter and a low murmur as a cut outward revealed the place as a prison corridor. Chef was being led by a mustachioed white male guard through grimy and trash-filled halls lined with darkened cells, and the shadowed men inside watched the passing visitor with interest.

"I'm _innocent_ , I tell you! _Innocent_!" one of the inmates shouted, revealed to be the formerly escaped killer with a chainsaw and a hook last seen leaving the wreckage of a bus before the start of Total Drama World Tour. Chef and the guard ignored both him and the older, skinnier man sharing his cell who made kissy-face at them.

"The Crusty Cockroaches have a _big lead_ over the Soiled Stinkbugs!" a familiar though muffled voice rang through the halls, causing Chef's brow to shoot up as the camera moved in front of him.

" _Cram it_ , McLean!" another man said, descending into raucous laughter as Chef gave him an annoyed side-eye.

At last, the visitor came upon a special cell, one with reinforced glass walls, a mail slot in the door, an electronic lock, and a security camera watching the entrance. It seemed surprisingly well-furnished, sporting a curtain over the window to the outside, a pair of familiar bobbleheads on a shelf next to the toilet, and a pair of paintings along the back wall – the smaller depicting a familiar golden statuette; the larger depicting an aerial view of Wawanakwa Island.

"Ooh! _Lightning_ slips past _Jasmine_!" the cell's white male inhabitant said, hunched over in front of the door and focused on something at his feet. "The _heat_ is _on_! Yeah! Look at that!" The camera cut inside to show what he was watching – a stinkbug and a cockroach sitting almost motionless on the ground.

Chef's shadow fell over the bugs, prompting Chris McLean to stand back up. "Well, well, well," he said, hands on his hips as the camera behind him showed him standing proudly in his orange jumpsuit. "Look who finally came to visit me after a whole year," he said in annoyance.

"Come on, you've finished your sentence for dumping toxic waste," Chef told him with mild annoyance of his own.

"Whatever," Chris said stubbornly, crossing his arms and looking away. "Think I'll stay _right here_. Got everything I need," he added brightly, "including Chef 2.0!" he said, holding up a nut with the vague shape of Chef's head, and an approximation of the man's face drawn on with black marker. "I made him from a cashew," Chris explained proudly.

The real Chef merely slid his envelope through the slot in the cell's glass door. "What's this?" Chris asked as he took it.

"Your contract!" Chef answered. "The producers have green lit another season! So?" he asked expectantly, the camera finally showing his face again. "You in?"

"It is ON!" the host answered excitedly, the light gleaming off his teeth.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode proper opened with a drumroll into a grandiose theme as the scene faded into a long-distance shot of Wawanakwa Island, the lake water glittering under the shining sun and a flock of geese flying in formation far in the background.

"Welcome, to Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened, the shot then cutting to him on the slightly-shabby Dock of Shame. "After my involuntary year-long ' _vacation_ '," he explained with well-placed use of air quotes, "I really need to be in a familiar environment, surrounded by the people I love..." He put his hands together as he smiled at the camera for a moment, then adding "To _hurt_!" with a dark grin and a round of laughter. "It's a condition of my parole," he explained. "Except for the hurt part, heh, that's all McLean!" he said, pointing at himself proudly.

He talked left towards the end of the dock, picking up a certain briefcase from where it was sitting as he passed it by. "So, I'm bringing back _fourteen_ TD All-Stars to battle it out in _the_ most dangerous, death-defying," he held up the briefcase and opened it up for the camera to get a close-up of the prize money within, " _one million dollar_ competition _ev-er!_ " The sound of a helicopter approaching preceded the wind kicked up by its arrival overhead, a few stray notes of prize money blown away before the shot cut back outward and the host closed the case. "And here they are now!" he said, looking upward expectantly.

The shot cut up to a double-rotor helicopter as it descended a few feet. "From Revenge of the Island, say hello to cranky goth _Gwen_ ," the host said, the camera cutting in closer as the helicopter door slid open to reveal The Goth, looking rather startled. As pale white as ever despite her usual black and teal outfit, she was promptly shoved out of the helicopter by an arm belonging to Chef Hatchet.

"This isn't what I signed up foooooooorrrr!" Gwen screamed as she fell through the open air.

"Gwen's bestie-turned-bossy-backstabber, _Courtney_!" Chris said next, the shot cutting first to him and then back to the open helicopter to show Chef – wearing his old drill sergeant's uniform – holding The Control Freak upside-down by a single leg, the young Hispanic woman dressed in her usual classy-yet-casual grays and browns, her arms crossed in outrage.

"I didn't intend to stab her in the baaaaaaaack!" Courtney yelled out her correction as she was dropped, and Chef stepped back into the hold.

The next to step up to the open doorway was The Outback Girl, her black skin contrasting with her usual light khakis, hunched over both in worry and to accommodate her great height. "Australian powerhouse, _Jasmine_!" Chris announced.

"Well at least we aren't being _blown up_ this time...," Jasmine said warily, holding her slouch hat onto her head before starting to jump, only to get kicked out of her diving position by Chef in mid-air. She flailed her arms in surprise, and screamed "Whoaaaaaa!" as she fell uncontrollably.

"Scheming master of sarcasm, _Noah_!" the host said next, the camera cutting from him up to a young Indian man, the previous season's winner, being held out by the scruff of his collar by Chef.

"Gee, thanks for introduction, McLean!" The Schemer, dressed as dorkily as ever in his red sweater-vest and teal shirt, yelled down at the host before he was casually tossed into the air. As he screamed, Chef retreated back into the helicopter once more.

Again, he reappeared after only moment – though this time he was smiling bashfully and motioning a tall and incredibly handsome young Hawaiian man to the exit. "Professional man-candy with a rotten center, _Justin_!" Chris introduced next, causing the camera to zoom in on The Eye Candy who winked and smiled at it, the sun gleaming off his pearly white teeth.

"Thanks for the ride, Chef," he told the older man with a short wave before swan-diving out of the helicopter.

"Lovesick uber-geek, _Harold_!" the host said next as Chef turned around, then forced The Dweeb to the open doorway by his arm.

"I'm _over_ that already, _gosh_!" Harold complained, adjusting his thick glasses before being unceremoniously thrown from the helicopter by a grumpy-looking Chef. The dweeb began to scream, his dark red mullet streaming behind him as he fell.

"And screwball thrill-seeker, _Izzy_!" Chris introduced next, the shot cutting back to him. "Who became a multi-armed mutant after spending a _little_ too much time in the toxic waste last season."

The camera cut back to the helicopter as the fair-skinned redhead leapfrogged over Chef and out into the open air. Her arms and legs spread wide, the Wild Child cackled and sprouted two more pairs of arms as she fell...and belly-flopped onto the surface of the lake, startling her compatriots who watched her sink below the water in stunned silence.

The almost reverent tune that had been playing finally drew to its conclusion as Chris laughed, and turned into something darker but more muted as he resumed his introductions. "And, from our _original_ cast, athletically gifted chronic loser, _Lightning_!"

"Alright, back in the game!" The Athletic Overachiever said, pumping a fist excitedly as he stood with Chef in the open doorway, the white lightning bolt that had been burned into his hair two seasons ago still quite visible. "Sha- _Lightning_!" he said as he began his dive, before Chef shoved the younger black man in mid-jump much as he had shoved Jasmine.

"Zombie-obsessed outdoorsman-turned-monster hunter, _Shawn_!" Chris said as his assistant turned around and dragged The Zombie Conspiracy Nut to the fore.

"Uhh, you checked the island for the undead, right?" he asked the hulking man, the hair under his knit cap now the same length it had been before he'd lost it in the first season. Chef just glared at him, then tossed him out of the helicopter by his orange safety vest. "I didn't think soooooooo!" Shawn screamed as he fell, the camera following him rather than lingering on the helicopter.

"Stinking saboteur, _Scott_!" the host said next, the shot once again cutting to him briefly before cutting back to the camper in question – though this time they were already in mid-fall.

"Hey, I do _not_ stink!" The Devious griped, as red-haired and freckled as ever, before immediately raising his arm and smelling his arm pit.

"Multi-talented mastermind, _Alejandro_!" was introduced next as Scott fell out of view of the camera and The Arch-Villain fell into it.

"I _despise_ you, McLean!" the handsome Peruvian boy shouted angrily as he fell out of sight.

"Singing sweetheart, _Ella_!" came next, the half-Chinese young woman still dressed in a pink, princess-like ensemble falling with her arms outstretched and a happy smile on her face.

Four small birds of different colors suddenly flew up and grabbed her by the arms. "Oh thank you little ones!" The Fairytale Princess told them sweetly as they slowed her descent.

The shot cut back to Chris as he said "Ruthless pageant star _Sugar_ , whose crappy-I mean _craptry_ ," he quickly corrected, "singing is almost as memorable as her attitude."

"Woo-hoo! _Cannon_ _baaaaaaall_!" The Pageant Queen shouted excitedly in her Southern US accent as she jumped from the helicopter with her legs curled up and her knees held close. The shot cut down to the water as the previously introduced contestants looked up in shock, then hurriedly swam away before the fat blonde cannonballed into the lake. The towering splash she made was shown from a camera behind Chris.

"Aaaand," the host continued with a hint of mischief, "mutant monster _Staci_!" The shot cut up to Chef holding on to The Werewolf by the scruff of her furry neck, her dark pink clothes looking surprisingly new despite her still being a mutant.

"I...guess I'm in the competition again?" she said, partly hopeful and partly wary as she fell, the campers below gasping in shock – except for Izzy, who gasped in delight.

It was her wariness that proved to be justified as Chris laughed, and a toilet plunger on a rope suddenly stuck onto the girl's front. " _Kidding_!" the host called out mockingly before the rope retracted. The camera cut to him to reveal that he was holding a fairly large gun which the plunger was pulled into. "No way is _she_ coming back again," he said with a dark grin before firing a shocked and almost heartbroken Staci off into the distance.

"The _actual_ fourteenth cast member is none other than homicidal ratings-booster, _Scarlett_!" Chris said quickly, a dark riff playing as Scarlett was shown getting booted out of the helicopter, still strapped to a hand truck with a mask over her mouth.

"You'll pay for this, Chris!" she yelled as she fell, the camera cutting down to the water once again as the campers all gasped in horror.

The Evil Genius slipped into the lake with minimal splash, and her fellow campers did nothing but stare at where she'd landed.

"Uhh, are you sure we can't have Staci instead?" Shawn asked the host after a second.

Chris sighed happily, ignoring the request. " _Man_ , it's great to be back!"

/

The footage skipped ahead to show all fourteen members of the new cast scattered on the beach, including the still-bound Scarlett. They were drenched and exhausted, with only Alejandro and Izzy still able to keep standing.

"Greetings, old friends," Chris told the coughing and groaning teens as he and Chef arrived.

Alejandro grunted in irritation and pried a clam off his arm. "We are _not_ your amigos, amigo," he told the host.

"Now that's not fair," Ella told him with a smile as her sweet, jingling leitmotif played. "Nobody is _your_ amigo, _Al._ " She giggled as he scowled at her, then sniffed in disdain and turned away.

The camera stuck to Ella, though, as Lightning walked up to her, while brushing the sand off his jersey. "Uh, good hustle, girl, but you might wanna work on your smacktalk a bit," he told her, earning a blank look in return. "But anyway, you're datin' _Tyler_ , right?"

"Well, we were for a _while_ ," she answered. "But we ended up realizing we worked better as friends. Oh, but we still see each other all the time!" she added happily.

"Cool, cool," Lightning nodded. "Where _is_ he, anyway?" he asked after quickly looking around the beach. "Lightning was kinda hopin' he'd be here."

"Sorry Lightning," Ella frowned, "but I'm afraid poor Tyler is still in the hospital after getting run over by a zamboni when we went to practice skating at the indoor rink."

" _Dang_ ," the uber-jock said in surprise.

"Yes, it's quite tragic what happened to him," Ella said with a sad nod. "Luckily the zamboni driver was _quite_ understanding about it and helped get him to the hospital."

The camera panned from them to Gwen and Jasmine, who were watching and listening with mild amusement. "I guess Trent decided not to come either, huh? You two still good?" the tallest girl asked, also after looking around a bit.

"Uh, yeah, pretty much," the goth answered somewhat bashfully. "I mean, it hasn't been as wonderful as I was hoping, especially since we don't live near each other, but we're making things work. And after what he ended up doing _last_ season," Gwen continued, becoming for relaxed, "Trent didn't want anything to _do_ with coming back."

"Fair enough," Jasmine nodded.

"What about Zoey?" Gwen asked. "I figured she'd _jump_ at the chance to come back on the show."

"It's...a long story," Jasmine explained, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. "I'd rather not get in to it now."

"Does it have anything to do with those looks Harold keeps sending your way?" the goth asked with an inquisitive smirk, nodding her head to the side. The camera cut outward to show Harold looking at them from a ways away, the perspective inverting to show his quivering his lip. He finally closed his eyes and looked away, and the camera cut back to Jasmine doing the same.

"I'd...rather not talk about _that_ , either," she said, standing up and walking away from a confused Gwen.

"Oooookay then?" the goth said, raising an eyebrow and looking back towards Harold.

xxx

Jasmine opened the season's first confessional with a sigh. "Okay, so I haven't actually spoken to Harold since _last season_ ," she told the outhouse camera. "Part of me knows I need to forgive him for causing my elimination, but I just...don't know what to even _say_ to him after putting it off all this time."

xxx

The footage cut back to Chris, his hands behind his back as he looked over the beach with his usual smile. "I can see you've all gotten back on your feet," he said, the shot briefly cutting outward to show the campers watching him in various clusters among the rocks, "which means _I_ get to announce all the big changes we've got for this season!" he said excitedly, spreading his arms wide. "For one, the island is now _100%_ toxic waste free."

"Aww, say it isn't so!" Izzy said, walking up to him with a dejected expression. "The toxic waste was half the fun of being out here!"

"Sorry to disappoint you," Chris told her. "But on the _up_ side, I've up _graded_ your accommodations." The shot cut over to a widescreen television being wheeled over on a cart by the pony-tailed white girl intern that had worked the previous season. "This season, the losers still have to sleep in a stanky old _cabin_ ," Chris explained, walking over to the television as an image of a cabin identical to the ones used in previous seasons appeared on it, in the same position as the ones that had previously been allotted to the Screaming Gophers and the Mutant Maggots. The unseen cast groaned in disappointment.

"But, the winners," the host continued as the live cabin feed began to zoom out, slowly revealing a magnificently large building styled almost like a high-class bed-and-breakfast, "get to stay at the all-new, eco-friendly, McLean Spa Hotel!" he finished as the music rose grandly, then faded into an angelic chorus as the shot cut to Shawn, Harold, Scott, and Sugar beginning to smile. "Complete with butler, hot tub, _and_ 24-hour masseuse," Chris said, provoking delighted cheers from the campers both on and off the screen.

"And in honor of your All-Star status," the host continued once the celebration had died down, "I'm dividing you into teams based on your past performances: _Heroes_ , versus _Villains_!"

xxx

"Obviously," Scarlett told the camera smugly despite her bondage, " _I'll_ be on the villains team. I _am_ the biggest threat this show has ever seen, after all." She laughed evilly.

xxx

"Man, heroes versus villains? Didn't see _that_ sha-comin'." Lightning told the outhouse confessional, crossing his arms and frowning. "Guess Lightning's gonna get stuck as a sha- _villain_ then...," he shrugged in bland acceptance.

xxx

"Alejandro," Chris said over a shot of the smirking charmer. "Sugar." The shot cut to the smiling pageant star. "Courtney." The ex-CIT pursed her lips in annoyance. "Noah." The bored slacker blinked. "Scott." The dirt-farmer grinned darkly. "Justin," the male model admired his reflection in a hand mirror, "and _Scarlett_." The camera zoomed out to show Chef wheeling the evil genius over to the other six. "From now on, you're the _Villainous Vultures_!" the host announced, a slightly dark tune rising up as a circular logo depicting a pale red vulture head spun onto the screen above them.

"Awesome!" Sugar said in excitement.

"Meh," Noah shrugged in response.

xxx

"I'm not surprised," Noah confessed. "I don't _like_ it, but I already made peace with getting the villain treatment after the last competition. Beside," he cracked a dry smile, "it's not like we have to take it _seriously_."

xxx

"Gwen, Jasmine," the two girls shared a smiling look, "Izzy," the wild child raised four arms as if in victory, "Harold," the alpha nerd pumped his fist, "Shawn, Ella," the survivalist and singer each smiled, "and _Lightning_ ," the confused uber-jock was pushed over to them by Chef, "you're the _Heroic Hamsters_!" A grand theme played as the second team's logo spun into view overhead, depicting a golden yellow hamster with a halo.

"Hamsters?" Harold questioned. "How are they _heroic_?"

"It was that, or the Heroic _Hippos_ ," Chris explained.

"Really?" the dweeb asked in an incredulous tone. "Couldn't you have gone with hawks instead? Ooh, or how about the Heroic _Horses_!"

"Yeah, you're still gonna be hamsters," Chris told him in annoyance. "Any other questions?"

Lightning immediately raised his hand. "Uhh, sorry, but why is _Lightning_ on the _heroes_? He thought that after everything he did, he woulda been on the villains!"

"Good point, Lightning," Chris told him with a point and a smile. "See, while your actions haven't _strictly_ been of a heroic nature, you _are_ the only person in the show's history to have been eliminated four times. And considering that you're also an athlete, a losing streak of _that_ magnitude affords you _underdog_ status. And according to every sports movie ever made, athletic underdogs are _always_ the hero," he explained matter-of-factly.

A flat note played as the Heroic Hamsters were shown looking at him blankly, and the shot cut in to Lightning's close-up as he raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Uhh, are you for real?" he asked. "Cause dude, that reason sounds super sha- _dumb_. Why is Lightning _really_ on the hero team?"

"Okay, fine," Chris admitted with an annoyed scowl. "The producers wanted a jock on the heroes, but Tyler was in the hospital and Jo was busy following some stupid ' _dream_ ' of hers," he rolled his eyes as he made the air quotes, "so we had to make do with you. _Happy_?"

"Not really," Lightning answered. "That's even worse than the underdog thing! Lightning does _not_ wanna be a third choice," he said, crossing his arms in protest.

"Yeah, well, deal with it," Chris told him.

"Don't worry," Ella told her new teammate, putting a hand on his arm, "I'm sure we'll all make you feel right at home!"

"Yeah, heroism takes some getting used to," Shawn added, "but you'll get the hang of it."

"Uhh...okay?" Lightning replied, still slightly confused. "Lightning's just gonna give it a hundred-and-ten percent like always then."

"Woo hoo! Welcome to the _Hamster Crew_ , population seven!" Izzy greeted with a cheer, dashing over and jumping on the jock's shoulders.

Shawn and Lightning and Ella just shared a slightly wary, slightly amused look.

xxx

"Yeah, something tells me this season's gonna be a whole lot _weirder_ than usual," Shawn told the outhouse camera.

xxx

"This year's challenges all nod to classics from the past," Chris explained, the static cutting away to him standing with his hand on the widescreen. "But, with harsh new twists to make _this_ the toughest Total Drama season _ev-er_! Your first challenge?" he said, motioning to the television as the spa hotel appeared on its screen. "Find the key to the Spa Hotel. And, you'll do it in an homage to Total Drama's first ever challenge," the shot of the hotel was replaced by a shot of the island's thousand-foot cliff, " _cliff_ -diving into water infested with ravenous sharks."

The camera cut to Noah, Scott, and Sugar as the farmer rolled his eyes and spluttered dismissively.

xxx

"Oh please, this is gonna be as easy _now_ as it was back _then_ ," Scott told the confessional camera. "I mean come on, it's just a bunch of _sharks_! The ones around here are practically _pushovers_."

xxx

"Once you dive into the water," Chris said over a close-up of the television, now playing a clip of Chef kicking some light-skinned male intern wearing a red tanktop and cowboy hat off the cliff, "try to avoid the sharks long enough to snag a key." The intern was shown landing in the shark-infested lake, and one of the predators leaped at him before the camera cut to the lake bed that had been littered with keys of all shapes, sizes, and colors. "And, choose _wisely_ ," Chris said as the intern was pushed down towards the sandy bottom as he struggled to keep a shark from swallowing him, "only _one_ of those suckers is the real deal." The camera panned closely across the keys, then cut back to the surface as two sharks emerged and happily high-finned. "Assuming you live long enough to make it to dry land," the scratched and battered intern trudged up the beach with a key in his hand, "a teammate will drive you to the hotel," the intern collapsed into a golden yellow baby carriage which was promptly pushed away by the long-banged intern who had worked the previous season, "in one of the baby carriages from season three's race through Central Park," the host finished as the camera finally panned away from the television and back on to him.

He then walked over to a jeep driven by the fat male intern. "First team to unlock the spa door wins. And, someone from team loser _will_ be going home tonight," he added as he hopped onboard the jeep. "Meet me at the face of the cliff in fifteen minutes," he told the campers. "Chop. Chop." He sat down and clapped his hands with a demanding smugness, and the jeep drove off.

"Wait, shouldn't we change into our swimsuits first?" Justin called out as the host left.

"Sorry," Chris replied from some distance off-camera, "no time!"

/

The scene flashed to a slightly closer shot of the thousand-foot cliff, the camera panning down and to the left to the nearby forest.

"Uggh," Scott griped over the squeaking of wheels, "why do _I_ have to push the _luggage_?" The camera cut to the Villainous Vultures walking single-file through the woods, with Scott pushing a rather annoyed-looking Scarlett at the back of the pack.

"Because," Noah smirked to himself in front of the two, "the _rest_ of us were smart enough to get out of it."

Scott just sneered, and the camera panned to the right past Alejandro, Sugar, Justin, and Courtney on to the Heroic Hamsters. In the back were Gwen and Harold, with Shawn and Jasmine in front of them, then Izzy, Ella, and Lightning in the lead.

"So, uh," Jasmine looked down at her fellow survivalist, "nice seeing you again, Shawn. How's the monster hunting business?"

" _Zombie_ hunting," Shawn corrected, "and it's going...uh, not as well as I hoped," he admitted, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "Turns out there's not as big a market for freelance zombie-hunting as you'd think."

"Really? Didn't you have that big job out in Manitoba a few months back?" Jasmine asked.

"Yeah, but that just turned out to be a bunch of college kids playing an elaborate _prank_ ," Shawn said. "Honestly," he shook his head in disappointment, "people like that only make preparing for the undead apocalypse that much more difficult."

"Well at least you got like a hundred thousand dollars out of it, right?" Jasmine asked him.

"True," he nodded before frowning in thought.

xxx

"Huh," he told the outhouse camera, rubbing his chin in confusion, "I didn't think the details of the Manitoba incident were public knowledge." He shrugged. "Oh well, there was probably a story about it in some newspaper. But hey," he smiled, "how cool is it that Jasmine's interested in what I do? Most girls just think I'm _weird_."

xxx

A low and slow tune started playing as the footage cut back to the villains, with Alejandro knocking into Sugar as he passed her with a haughty expression. "Ex _cuse_ me," he told her unapologetically.

"You better _watch it_ , mister!" Sugar told him, punching her open hand in a threatening manner.

"And so should _you_ ," Alejandro replied, unimpressed.

"Hey, you guys know that we're supposed to fight the _other_ team, right?" Noah asked them as the camera panned back to him. "So how about we put the plotting and scheming on hold, ignore the ' _villain_ ' thing, and try some teamwork instead?"

His teammates immediately voiced their agreement, but their tones ranged from blatant lying to outright mockery.

xxx

Alejandro laughed. " _Please_ , as though _that_ could ever happen. Who-"

xxx

"-could _ever_ -" Sugar said, the scene cutting to her confessional in mid-sentence.

xxx

"-trust _anyone_ -" Scott followed up.

xxx

"-on this _ridiculous_ -" Courtney said next.

xxx

"- _treacherous_ , and-" Scarlett said through her mask.

xxx

"- _evil_ team," Justin finished.

xxx

"Yeah, that went about as well as I was expecting it to," Noah told the camera dully.

His confessional feed shrunk as the screen split into nine, Noah staring at the camera in the center with empty blackness above and below, and his teammates – Alejandro, Courtney, and Scott in the left column; Sugar, Justin, and Scarlett in the right – looking towards him and laughing evilly against a fiery background.

xxx

The footage cut over to a close-up of Gwen as she looked back over her shoulder and glared at Courtney. The ex-CIT murmurer in annoyance, and the camera panned slightly to the left to include Justin as she told him "Gwen keeps _glaring_ at me like she wants to set me on _fire_."

"Can you really blame her?" Justin asked. "I mean, you _did_ get her voted out last year."

"Not _intentionally_!" Courtney hissed angrily.

"That _hardly_ matters to people like her," Alejandro interrupted, walking up next to Justin. "Some people just can't accept that they're threats who others should want to deal with!"

"So true, man," Justin said. "You should listen to this guy, Courtney," the male model turned and told the young woman in front of him. "He knows a lot about how this game works."

"Gracias, amigo," Alejandro smiled, earning an eyeroll from the aggravated ex-CIT.

xxx

"Why would I listen to _Alejandro_ ," Courtney asked the confessional camera, "it's not like he's ever done much better in this game than _I_ did. Besides, I don't _need_ any help," she said before looking down sadly, "not even with _Gwen_..."

xxx

The shot cut to Gwen again as she turned her head back forward and softened her gaze. "Still mad at Courtney, huh?" Harold asked as the camera zoomed out slightly. "It's a little surprising, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, it's not like she hasn't made it _easy_ ," Gwen told him. "Not _once_ has she tried to apologize to me! And, like, I get that Trent and I were kind of a threat, but Courtney was supposed to be my friend. She could have at _least_ waited to vote me out until _later_!"

Harold nodded in understanding. "I guess it just goes to show how much she really thought of you."

"I guess," Gwen sighed, the camera panning back on to Courtney to show her scowling.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the two teams lined up at the beach, the Vultures on the left and the Hamsters on the right. Baby carriages in their respective team colors sat in the gap between, and their team logos briefly spun into place overhead.

A laugh from the host led the camera to cut to a path of sky just before he descended into it on his jetpack, a triumphant theme playing upon his arrival. "Greetings, All-Stars!" he said, his jetpack kicking up a large amount of sand into the faces of the closest members of the two teams, forcing them to hack and cough and throw their arms up in a useless show of defense.

Chris landed on the beach between the two carriages. "Here are your carriages," he told the campers as the music became slow and plodding, "blood red for the Villainous Vultures," the shot zoomed in on the left carriage before panning to the right one, "and purest gold for the Heroic Hamsters. You've got thirty seconds to pick you carriage drivers," he explained, "starting... _NOW_!"

"I'll drive!" Sugar immediately volunteered over a close-up of her hands grabbing the carriage handle.

"No, _I'll_ drive," Justin countered, chuckling in an almost condescending manner as he grabbed on to the carriage handle next to Sugar.

The camera zoomed out to show them locking eyes, Sugar's glaring and Justin's calm. "Now listen here, mister new guy," Sugar said angrily, "I already jumped offa that there cliff once, and if I got a choice I ain't about to do it again! Especially since I only just got my hair dry from before!"

Justin chuckled again. "True, but which do you _really_ think is more important," he asked, "keeping _you_ dry, or keeping _this_ ," he tore off his shirt, the camera immediately zooming in and following his hand across his glistening, muscular chest as his dreamy leitmotif played, "out of harm's way?"

Another zoom out showed Sugar staring in awe at the male model's chest. " _Wow_...," Justin flexed his pecs and Sugar reached out to touch them in a daze...only to have Alejandro suddenly step between them, halting the model's background music.

"No no no," he said quickly, separating the two from each other and the carriage and putting his hands on Justin's shoulder. "Listen, amigo, I understand your desire to avoid the sharks, but men like us are much more suited to diving. Besides, I saw you last season, and you are _not_ in any danger."

"You really think so?" Justin asked.

"Absolutely," Alejandro nodded. "Us beautiful men should stick together, after all."

"Definitely," Justin agreed. "Okay Sugar," he leaned to the side and told the pageant queen, the camera pulling back to show her still watching him with a dreamy expression, "you can drive."

Sugar shook away her awe and grabbed the carriage as though she'd never been distracted at all. "Darn tootin'," she said with a decisive nod.

xxx

"Working with Alejandro is actually something I'm looking forward to," Justin explained in the outhouse confessional, "since he's kind of a pioneer in the whole 'hot guy seduces people to get ahead in the game' thing. Of course, I'm _way_ better-looking than he is, but I never got a hang of strategy last time so hopefully I can pick up some tips from him. Then once he least expects it I'll totally vote him out. It'll be like...the _student_ becoming the _master_ ," he said after a moment of thought.

xxx

Alejandro was shaking his head and chuckling softly as the next confessional. "Justin reminds me of a younger, much less attractive, and much, much, _much_ stupider Alejandro. I'll use him for a few votes, then eliminate him _right_ before he inevitably tries to betray me using the strategies I taught him."

xxx

"Ten seconds!" Chris told the Hamsters, who were still looking at one another expectantly as a low trilling tune played in the background.

"Uhh," Lightning said, looking around at his teammates, "Lightning was gonna wait and see if anyone _else_ was gonna step up 'cause he'd rather dive, but that hasn't happened so...he's gonna go ahead and sha-volunteer." He promptly stepped over and grabbed the golden carriage as the other heroes murmured their general agreement.

"Okay," Chris said as the camera zoomed out to show him and the two chosen carriage-drivers, "everyone but Sugar and Lightning, up the cliff you go."

/

The scene cut to a shot of the cliff, which zoomed in as the campers were heard panting. A cut to the very top showed Chris waiting patiently at the edge, and moments later Alejandro ran up and skid to a halt as a short Latin guitar riff played. " _First_ , just like how I'll finish this season," he said confidently before the camera panned to the left, showing the other campers as they arrived behind him. Jasmine, Izzy, Courtney, and Scott were the closest and the latter two had doubled over to catch their breath; followed by Shawn, Gwen, Justin, and Ella all panting in near-exhaustion as well. Harold and Noah brought up the rear, with the schemer reluctantly pulling Scarlett's hand truck behind him. He fell to the the ground with a tired and aggravated groan, with another as his teammate fell on top of him.

An upward shot showed Izzy, Courtney, and Jasmine looking down over the edge of the cliff. The camera cut down to the water's surface as the massive mutant shark known as Fang surfaced with a wide and toothy grin, and he waved his fingers at the campers as a deep and dangerous tune rose in the background.

"Fang!" the three girls said together – Courtney in fear; Jasmine glaring in determination; and Izzy grinning eagerly and returning the shark's wave.

" _Who_?" Scott asked, looking out over the edge next to Izzy.

" _Who's_ the best key spotter?" Chris asked the camera as it cut to him and a deep chanting note played. "And, who's _dead_ in the shark-infested water? Find out, when we return, on _Total_!" The shot cut outward to show Jasmine, Courtney, Izzy, and Scott still looking out over the cliff's edge. " _Drama_!" Another outward cut showed Alejandro, Shawn, and Gwen standing to the host's other side. " _All-Stars!_ "

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

"Places, people!" Chris called out to the cast as a slightly dramatic melody began to play. The six Heroic Hamster were shown looking towards the cliff edge with a mixture of confidence and worry, while the six Villainous Vultures looked largely unimpressed. "It's _divin' time_!" the host continued, laughing as a pair of non-mutant sharks were shown leaping out of the water in anticipation.

"Is anybody going to bother letting me _out_ of this accursed thing?" Scarlett asked her teammates, struggling against her bonds as Noah held her hand truck steady.

"That depends," the slacker answered, "are you gonna try to kill any of us afterward?" Scarlett promptly scowled and stopped struggling.

"One diver, per team, at a time," Chris explained, holding up an airhorn as the music became tenser. "The next diver has to wait until their team's carriage returns. Ready? Set?"

He blew his horn, and Izzy and Courtney dashed towards the edge of the cliff and jumped off it, the mutant wild child with an excited "Woo-hoo-hoo!" and the ex-CIT with a flailing scream.

The camera quickly cut from Izzy's whooping dive to Fang and the other sharks waiting eagerly below and back again as she ended her cheers in favor of a grin. She suddenly sprouted another pair of arms, holding all four out in front of her to punch as she and Fang collided. They sank under the lake, and Courtney landed with a scream moments later.

A grand tune played as Izzy quickly surfaced with a golden clover-shaped key in her hand. "Yeah! It's time for the Izzy-key!" she said, the footage skipping ahead to her jumping and flipping into her team's carriage.

"Sha- _score_!" Lightning said excitedly, pumping a fist and running off with the carriage towed behind him.

"And the _Heroes_ take the lead!" Chris announced over a shot of the two non-mutant sharks comforting a bruised Fang while Courtney swam past in the background.

She quickly got back to shore, ran over to her teammate, and hopped into the carriage. "Go! Go! Go!" she commanded Sugar.

"Hold your horses," Sugar snapped, raising her left foot and sticking a finger between it and her pink wedge sandal, "I gotta get a rock outta my shoe."

"Uggh, never mind," Courtney grunted in irritation as the triumphant music ended, " _I'll_ do it."

Before she could get back out of the carriage, Chris arrived on his jetpack. "Up-up-up! No tradesies!" he told the girl. "Gotta stick to your designated driver."

" _Fine_ ," Courtney said, sitting back in resignation. "Uggh, just push!" she commanded her teammate, who casually flicked a small pebble away and lowered her foot.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time," Sugar said grumpily, grabbing the carriage handle in one hand and yanking it along behind her as she trudged forward with an abruptness that startled Courtney.

/

"Alright, freaky girl," Lightning told Izzy, the music tense and fast-paced as he pushed her through the forest, "let's grab ourselves a spa hotel. Sha- _bam_!"

"Sha- _yeah_!" Izzy said excitedly, throwing up two arms while a third held her key in her lap. "Hahaha...sha- _yeah_...," she laughed in an almost affectionate manner. "Hey, so, I totally always told myself that if I ever met you, I'd ask you what the deal with the 'sha' stuff is. So, like, what's the deal with the 'sha' stuff?"

"Uhhh...," Lightning replied, staring at her blankly with his mouth agape. "Actually, that's a sha-good question. It's just somethin' that comes sha-naturally to Lightning, so he's never really thought about it before."

"Oh, cool," Izzy nodded with interest, "I guess it's one of those, like, cool little _quirks_ that people have, y'know? I'm thinking of getting one myself, like maybe something like... _boom boom_!" she said, abruptly splaying her hands as if to mime an explosion.

Lightning just gave her an amused smile. "Girl, you are some kinda _strange_ , you know that?" he told her.

"Hahaha, I really am," Izzy laughed as the dramatic challenge music peaked and the camera cut to the spa hotel. A short pan showed Lightning and Izzy arriving, which was followed by a close-up of the lock as Izzy inserted the key she'd found and the background score became much quieter.

"Come on, Izzy key!" she said with a worried frown as the lock failed to turn, "Izzy is counting on you!"

"Aww, man!" Lightning exclaimed in annoyance as the music rose back up, walking up behind her with his arms crossed. "Don't tell me we got the wrong one!"

The shot cut to Sugar and Courtney arriving, and looking at Lightning and Izzy as they went back the opposite direction.

Courtney was shown quickly inserting her silver key as the music turned soft yet again, then throwing the key to the ground as it failed to open the door. "Aaagh, wrong key!" she said in frustration.

"Welp, great job girlie we're _behind_ thanks to you," Sugar scolded her, earning an angry growl.

/

"Hey heartbreaker," Noah told Harold, the scene flashing to him approaching his former rival atop the cliff, "aren't you gonna try and talk to your girl?" He jerked a thumb to the side, and the camera panned over to show Jasmine standing a ways away, keeping watch at the edge of the cliff.

"She's not my girl, _gosh_ ," Harold objected as the focus returned to him and Noah. "I'm totally over her."

" _Really_ ," Noah said in dry disbelief.

"Okay, I'm _mostly_ over her," Harold corrected with a hint of shame. "But don't tell her that, it'll just make things even worse. I wanna talk to her and be friends again, but I just don't know what to say!"

"Just go say hello, it can't be _that_ hard," Noah said, pushing his fellow nerd in the survivalist's direction.

Harold stumbled over to her, but stopped himself just before colliding. "Uh, heh heh, hey Jasmine, what's up?" he asked with a sheepish smile.

Jasmine took one look at him, then immediately snapped her gaze back down the cliff. "Oh, uh, looks like Lightning and Izzy are back," she said with an awkward smile, "guess it's time for me to dive!" She quickly ran away from a startled Harold and dove off the cliff, a dramatic tune playing as the shot cut to the water. She plunged into it with her cheeks bulging and her hat held on to her head, then looked around and down and smiled at the sight of a bronze key sticking out of the sand. She picked it up and dodged a sudden bite from Fang, then the scene skipped ahead to show her running over to the Heroes' carriage as the music became tense again.

"Let's move!" she commanded, jumping in to the carriage after Izzy had hopped out and ran off. Although Lightning looked mildly annoyed at her tone, he still quickly pulled her away, the survivalist's long legs sticking out over the side and nearly touching the ground.

Sugar and Courtney arrived as soon as the Heroes left the screen. "Hurry up! They're still ahead of us!" the ex-CIT yelled, her driver already looking tired.

The shot cut to Alejandro smiling expectantly at the top of the cliff. " _I'll_ take the next jump," he told Noah and Scott before running off and diving gracefully off the edge, a Latin riff playing as he did so. The challenge music resumed as he fell towards the lake with a confident grin, and he plunged in with barely a splash.

"What're the chances he stays down there?" Noah asked Scott, the two shown looking over the cliff's edge by a camera below them.

"Not good enough if you ask me," Scott replied.

Sure enough, the scene cut below the water to show Alejandro calmly brushing the noses of two apparently smitten sharks, then diving down to the lake bed. The next shot showed him surfacing with a golden key in hand, and a flash took the camera to Sugar and Courtney.

"You _need_ to drive faster, Sugar," Courtney scolded. "I don't know _where_ -"

"Excuse me, ladies," Alejandro interrupted, lifting the angry young woman from the carriage and setting her down gently, though taken aback, on the sand. "Now _v_ _á_ _monos_!" he said, sitting down and pointing dramatically in the direction they were to go."

"Yeah, yeah," Sugar said, still visibly tired as she began to pull the carriage back the way she'd came from. "I'll vamo _your_ nos, just you wait," she added under her breath.

/

"Alright girl, how you feelin' ridin' the Lightning Express?" Lightning asked as he rapidly pushed the carriage carrying Jasmine down the forest path. "It's _fast_ , right? It totally is. Lightning's gotta be the fastest baby-carriage-driver in the whole sha- _game_!"

"Uh...yeah," Jasmine said with a hint of wariness. "Look, don't take this the wrong way, but I know you've had trouble working as part of a _team_ in the past, so you should know that kind of thing really isn't gonna do you any _favors_ this season."

Lightning scowled at her. "Girl, Lightning already _said_ he was gonna be givin' the hero thing a hundred-and-ten percent!"

The footage skipped ahead to a close-up of Jasmine's key being inserted into the lock. "This one's no good," the survivalist said after it failed to open up the lock, tossing it away as the camera zoomed out.

"Man, how _hard_ is it to pick the right sha-key?" Lightning exclaimed in annoyance.

"Well it's not exactly a walk in the park," Jasmine shot back as she sat back down in the carriage, her long legs yet again sticking out over the side and nearly touching the ground.

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning replied, "you shouldn't be walkin' to it in the first place!" Jasmine just palmed her face.

xxx

"Yeah, it's safe to say I'm not happy having Lightning on my team," Jasmine confessed. "He's just so pig-headed and _arrogant_ , it'll be tough to keep him under control."

xxx

A long, deep chant played as the scene cut back to the spa hotel, Sugar and Alejandro finally arriving. The shot cut in close to show Alejandro attempting to insert his key, while his driver's heavy pant could be heard from off-screen. "Aah, no!" he exclaimed in frustration as it failed to enter the lock. "It's too _big_ , we have to go back!" He thrw his key down onto the porch, then dashed past Sugar and hopped into the carriage. "What are you waiting for?" he scolded Sugar as the challenge music resumed. "Push already!"

"I _know_ , just let me catch my breath a bit!" Sugar complained as she walked over and grabbed the carriage handle.

/

The fast-paced music continued as the camera flashed back to the cliff top, showing the remaining campers lined up with Scott and Shawn waiting nearest to the edge. Gwen, who was standing right behind them, quickly glanced down to the shore – the shot cut down to show that not only had Lightning and Jasmine returned but, to the Heroes' annoyance, that Sugar and Alejandro had returned as well.

"Shawn, what are you _waiting_ for?" the goth asked her teammate, who seemed to looking over the edge with a serious expression. "The villains are already back!"

"Just figuring out the sharks' swimming patterns," Shawn explained without taking his eyes off the water. "Gotta get the timing right."

"Pfft, _whatever_ ," Scott said, shoving the survivalist out of the way as he stepped past. "My team's here, that means I'm jumping."

He dived off the cliff with a confident smile, but it quickly turned into an odd, panicked, flailing cry as he saw what was waiting for him. The camera cut to water level as he splashed down, right in front of the two normal sharks who had stuck their heads out of the water with eager grins. He surfaced after a moment and spat out a mouthful of water, then looked with wide eyes from the sharks in front of him, then back to Fang who had surfaced behind him.

"Uh, nice sharks...," he said, raising his hands in a placating gesture.

"And _that's_ why you figure out where the sharks are gonna be before you jump," Shawn said knowingly as the shot cut back to the top of the cliff.

"Are you gonna go, or what?" Gwen asked him in exasperation.

"Might as well," Shawn shrugged, running forward and jumping off the cliff feet-first. He landed in the water behind Scott, who was now swimming in fear away from the trio of sharks.

The shot quickly returned to the cliff, however, to focus on Noah, Justin, and Scarlett who were now watching from the edge of with the model casually keeping the hand truck upright with one hand.

"Are either of you going to bother to _help_ him, or are we just going to content ourselves with a _loss_?" Scarlett asked.

"Nnnn...hate to say it, dude," Noah told the model, "but our murderous teammate has a point. Scott getting eaten isn't good in the short- _or_ long-term."

Justin sighed and pushed Scarlett's hand truck into Noah's hands. "Fine, I'll help him," he said, taking off his shirt and leaning out over the edge. "Hey sharks! How do you like _this_ for a distraction?" he called out, motioning to his chest and flashing a beautiful smile as the shot cut down to the lake. All three predators paused in their chase to look upwards, giving Scott the opportunity to dive underwater.

The shot cut back up to Noah and Scarlett, the latter staring at her unseen teammate in awe and lust. "The sharks shouldn't be able to see this display," Scarlett said in a strangely dreamy tone, "but I don't care..."

"And I shouldn't _have_ to see this display," Noah said in dry disgust, "but here I am anyway."

/

"Let's ride, dude," Shawn told Lightning as he hopped into their team's golden carriage.

"Sha- _boom_ , brother!" the uber-jock replied exuberantly as he pulled the carriage away.

Scott arrived seconds later, and jumped in to the vultures' red carriage while Sugar leaned against the handle in exhaustion. "I'm startin' to regret not divin'...," she panted.

"Yeah, so are the rest of us," Scott told her. "Now would you suck it up and get moving? I'm not exactly _itching_ to get burned by another one of your bad decisions."

xxx

"Yeah, I'm still bitter about season three," Scott angrily explained to the outhouse camera.

xxx

The tense challenge music resumed yet again as the scene moved to the spa hotel, Shawn inserting his key and jiggling it around to no effect. "Aww, come on, seriously?" he said, taking the key out in disbelief.

"Man, Lightning shoulda let somebody else _drive_ so he could _dive_ ," Lightning griped as Shawn returned to the carriage. "He woulda gotten the key on the first try!"

"If you say so," Shawn said as the two made their leave.

A second later, Scott and Sugar arrived on the scene. " _Finally_ ," the farmer said, disembarking and running off-screen with key in hand while his driver collapsed to her knees with an exhausted groan. She gave no reaction to her teammate's frustrated growl, or even to his return moments later. "False alarm," he said bitterly, "we gotta go back."

Sugar whimpered.

/

Justin and Gwen were the two standing at the cliff's edge as the scene flashed back. "Well, here goes nothing," the goth said nervously before jumping off with a scream.

"Come _on_ , Sugar...," Justin said, still shirtless and with his gaze locked below. "We're falling even more behind than before!"

The camera cut to the water as Gwen, still screaming, landed in the middle of the three sharks. They quickly dived down as well, but she soon surfaced with a terrified look on her face. "Oh no, no no no _no_!" she said as she saw the fins circling her.

Moments later, Justin swan-dived into the lake behind her. She quickly looked his way, and the sharks paused their circling to follow suit. He emerged soon after and flipped his hair twice in quick succession to his usual dreamy leitmotif, leaving both fish and human struck with awe and lust.

"Yeah, you guys just...stay there and think about me," the model calmly told his current admirers, "I'll be right back."

He dove back into the water, and after a moment his theme music ended and Gwen shook herself out of her stupor. "Oh crap!" she exclaimed, diving into the water and in doing so earning the attention of the sharks again, who dove after her.

Justin was shown grabbing a large black key from the lake bed, then running over to his team's carriage. "Let's go, Sugar, we're in the lead!" he told his teammate, who giggled at the shirtless young man and pulled him away with what seemed to be renewed energy.

The camera panned over to the water as Gwen surfaced, her face slightly bruised and scratched and her clothes slightly torn, but with a key in her hand. She moaned.

/

A flash skipped the footage ahead to show Justin failing to open the spa hotel's door. "Okay, we seriously better not be doing this all day," he said as he ran back to Sugar and the carriage.

"I'll say," Sugar replied, getting the carriage moving again, "we're barely in the lead!"

As if on cue, Lightning ran past pushing the golden carriage and battered Gwen.

"Yeah, barely," Justin commented with wide, nervous eyes. Sugar huffed in annoyance.

xxx

"Sugar go _fast_ , Sugar keep _movin_ '," the pageant star said in a tone of mimicry, tilting her head to side to side in annoyance. "Can't they see that I'm tryin' my hardest out here? It ain't my fault the hotel is so far away from the cliff, and they all weigh so _much_!"

xxx

Back at the clifftop those who had already had a go at key-finding had regrouped with their teammates, but the scene focused on Ella and Harold as they stood closest to the edge with the other Heroes.

"I should probably jump next," Harold said. "I wouldn't want you to get eaten by those sharks."

"Thank you," Ella told him, "but I can't let you do that just for me. I think I can _handle_ a few sharks."

"Oh, but I insist!" Harold replied. "It's the gentlemanly thing to do."

"No, _I_ insist," Ella replied a little firmly. "I don't want to be a burden when I know I can do this."

"Uh, are you two gonna figure this out any time soon?" Shawn asked, the camera zooming out to show him, Jasmine, and Izzy. "Lightning's already back." He pointed down towards the shore.

"And so is Sugar," Courtney added quickly, the shot panning left to the villains. "Noah, you're up," she turned and told her teammate.

"Right," the slacker said, still holding on to Scarlett's hand truck. "But before I look death in the face, shouldn't we untie the Wicked Witch of the West first?" he asked, pointing at the evil genius.

"You just want to put off diving, don't you?" Scarlett immediately accused.

"Sending a woman into danger so you can get out of jumping? For shame," Alejandro told him.

"Yeah, because I'm _totally_ optimistic about the chance she or _they_ ," he motioned to Harold and Ella, who seemed to have grown mildly annoyed while continuing to insist they be the next hero to jump, "have of ending it this round. I'm gonna jump anyway, but I'd rather be here to help out when Scarlett tastes freedom again in case we need an extra pair of hands."

"Are you insinuating I'll try to escape the moment I can?" Scarlett asked accusingly.

"Yes," Noah answered bluntly.

"...fair enough," Scarlett admitted.

"Listen, Noah," Alejandro said in a condescending tone, walking over to the younger villain and grabbing him by the arm, "you don't need to worry about Scarlett. The rest of us can handle her just fine without a scrawny thing like _you_ around, so why don't you just _jump_ already."

"Uggh, could you not treat me like a little kid?" Noah replied, pulling his arm free in anger and in doing so knocking in to Scarlett's hand truck, sending it rolling away towards the edge of the cliff to the villains' shock and a sharp rise in the background music's intensity.

"No no _no_...!" the brainiac repeated in growing fear as she rolled past the shocked heroes, and off the cliff. "CURSE YOU!" she screamed in anger as she plummeted downward, bouncing off a protruding rock and spinning into the lake. The shot immediately cut to the lake bed as the shark trio began to gnaw at Scarlett's bonds.

A close-up of the evil genius showed her eyes narrowing ferociously and turning red as she built up an angry growl, which hit its peak as she suddenly burst free of her thoroughly shark-chewed straps. Fang and his companions were taken aback by their prey's furious roar, which gave Scarlett the opening she needed to swipe a key from the sand and swim away.

xxx

"As much as I enjoy not being bound any longer, they _will_ pay for that disgrace," Scarlett told the outhouse camera, her eyes glaring at the left wall as she rubbed her recently-freed wrists.

xxx

The static cut away to Scarlett surfacing with a key clenched in her fist, and the camera cut to Chris hovering in the air with his jetpack. "And the _Villains_ regain the lead!" he called out. "How long will they hold it this time?"

"Better get going, then," Harold gulped before running towards the cliff edge and jumping off, leaving Ella to do no more than watch.

/

A flash skipped the scene ahead to Sugar running through the woods with Scarlett in their team's carriage. "Honestly wasn't expectin' _you_ to help out," the pageant star said between heavy breaths.

"I'd rather _not_ be on the losing team right now," Scarlett explained. "So I'd appreciate it if you'd _hurry up_."

"Well I've been _tryin_ '," Sugar replied with brow furrowed in annoyance, "but I've been runnin' on whatever's less than empty for awhile now!"

"Feel the sha- _burn_!" the sudden cry of Lightning came from off-screen, shocking the two girls.

"Okay, maybe I got a little more left in the tank," Sugar said in a panic as she began to speed up.

The scene moved to the cabins as the Vultures arrived, Sugar seemingly moving forward on momentum alone. She crashed the carriage into the steps of the spa hotel, allowing Scarlett to use the impact to propel herself onto the front porch while Sugar slumped to her knees. Lightning and the Heroes' carriage slid to a stop a few feet away from her, and Harold eagerly jumped out with a confident grin on his face and a silver key clenched in his fist.

"Blast," Scarlett muttered as she frantically tried her key, only for it to fail. "Another _dud_!"

"Step aside," Harold told her, sliding onto the porch and knocking her away from the door. He inserted his key, and the music turned victorious as the door finally opened. "Yes! Awesome!" the dweeb cheered as Scarlett groaned in frustration.

"The door is open!" Chris announced, the shot zooming out to show him flying up over Sugar and Lightning. "The Hamsters _win_!"

"Sha- _bam_!" the uber-jock cheered, raising his arms in victory. Sugar just moaned and fell over onto her side.

/

A few deep notes were struck as the footage faded forward to a long-distance shot of the island at night, the moon bright in the sky and the light of the campfire shining across the lake.

"Welcome, to our first elimination ceremony," Chris said, the scene cutting to the firepit as a few more notes of the low and tense campfire theme began to play. The sinister logo of the Villainous Vultures spun into place in the top-right corner of the screen just above the host and his assistant, who had forsaken last season's hazmat suit in favor of his usual dull yellow-green outfit. The seven losers were seated together in the middle of the two row of log-seats, with Justin, Noah, and Courtney in the front row and Scarlett, Sugar, Scott, and Alejandro in the back. Interestingly, a tiered, high-walled seating area had been built along the left rock wall of the firepit, and the tops of few familiar heads could be seen looking out from them.

"How do you like the new Peanut Gallery, huh?" the host asked, the viewpoint shifting to get a better look at the boxed seating area. It had the logo of a peanut emblazoned on the front, but more importantly it currently housed the seven members of the Heroic Hamsters – Shawn, Jasmine, and Gwen in the top row; Lightning, Izzy, Ella,and Harold in the bottom. "Now winners can watch their opponents give someone the boot before they head to the spa hotel for a deluxe _dinner_!"

The seven Heroes cheered and exchanged high fives with one another at the good news. The seven Villains just made their annoyance known through grumbles or glares or general lack of enthusiasm.

"Before we start," Chris continued as another deep note played, "I need one winner to volunteer for a _special_ reward!"

Lightning immediately skidded over to him with an expectant look. "Hah! Sha- _Lightning_!" he exclaimed, the shot briefly cutting over to show Jasmine frown in annoyance.

"Grrreat!" the host said. "Your reward is...spending the night in _exile_ on Boney Island with _all_ the _hungry_ wild animals!"

"Tch, aww, how is that a _reward_?" Lightning asked in annoyance.

"Becaaaaau~use," Chris answered, taking out a familiar wooden carving of his own head, "there's a McLean Invincibility Statue hidden somewhere on Boney Island!" The music began to trill tensely, and the camera zoomed in on the invincibility statue. "Find it, and you're golden."

"Good to know," Shawn commented from the Peanut Gallery before the camera panned down to show Scott with a dark and eager smirk on his face.

"This year," the host continued as Lightning left the firepit under Chef's watchful eye, "you get to vote by placing an X," he made the shape in question with his pointer fingers before the camera cut over to the attentive villains, "on the 8 x 10 photo of the person you want to eliminate. Now, get voting," he commanded with a mild frown and a thumb over his shoulder.

/

One by one, the Villainous Vultures were shown casting their votes in the outhouse confessional in quick and silent succession. First Noah, then Courtney, then Justin, then Scott, then Alejandro, all five hiding the photo they'd chosen from the camera while they made their marks with a thick-tipped pen. Scarlett was the first to show her vote, slamming Sugar's photo against the wall with an evil smile and drawing a red X on it. Sugar was the last, nodding decisively as she crossed out Scarlett's.

/

"Okay," Chris said as the scene flashed back to him now holding a tray of six marshmallows, "the following people are _safe_. Courtney! Alejandro! Noah! Scott! And Justin!" One by one the villains happily and confidently caught the marshmallows as they were tossed at them, and all the while the trilling elimination theme began to build.

"Sugar, you're on the chopping block for your terrible driving skills," Chris explained as the shot cut to the two girls on the bottom. The pageant queen gaped in shock, then turned a glare towards Scarlett that was returned fully. "And Scarlett, you're on the chopping block because...well, you're Scarlett. I'd be more surprised if you _didn't_ get any votes."

Scarlett sniffed in disdain. "Like I care. It's _obvious_ who should go home after they cost the team the challenge," she said without taking her narrowed eyes of Sugar.

"And with six votes to one, the loser is...," Chris began as the music started to peak, the shot cutting from close-ups of Scarlett, then Sugar, then the final marshmallow. " _Scarlett_!"

" _WHAT_?!" the evil genius said, wide eyes snapping forward in shock as the one she'd voted for eagerly caught her marshmallow in her mouth. "Why?!"

"Well I know _I_ voted for you because I wanted to be able to get to sleep tonight without having to worry about you plotting our dooms," Justin explained.

"I hope you enjoy your _catapult ride_ ," Alejandro taunted his fuming rival.

"Actually," Chris gleefully interjected, "this year, we've got a brand _new_ elimination device!"

/

The scene transitioned by way of a screen rotation about a central vertical axis, putting the shot on the end of the Dock of Shame where a gigantic and rather stained toilet had been set up. Scarlett was already treading water in its bowl, with her former teammates and the host standing by while the series' sombre farewell theme began to play.

" _Behold_ , the _Flush_ of _Shame_!" Chris declared dramatically before adding "Patent pending."

Most of the remaining six villains recoiled in disgust, except for Scott who just shrugged, unimpressed.

"You all will rue the _day_ you _ever_ -!" Scarlett began to hiss before the host interrupted.

"Yeah yeah yeah, regret messing with you, pay dearly for the slight, blah blah blah _whatever_ ," Chris said in irritated disinterest before pressing the button on his remote control. The gargantuan toilet began to flush, and Scarlett screamed as she circled the drain and disappeared from sight. A massive back-flow shot out of the toilet like a fountain, but the host smugly opened an umbrella over his head allowing him to remain dry while the remaining villains were doused in toilet water to their vocal disgust.

Chris laughed as the series' dramatic capstone theme started up for its first time that season. "Who will be flushed into the history books next?" he asked the camera,tossing his umbrella away. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

As always, the camera jumped outward with each portion of the season's name, ending once more on a long-distance shot of the island under the clear summer night.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene faded into nothing but greenish-blue water and the sound of frantic swimming, until Scarlett rose to the surface squirting water from her mouth and gasping for breath. "I...I made it!" she said to herself, looking around the unknown and unseen landscape. "I'm alive, and more importantly, I'm _free_! Oh, those fools will regret the day they ever _dared_ to cross me!" she said, donning an evil smirk and descending into an evil laugh.

Her mirth petered out upon finally noticing the sound of splashing nearby. She raised an eyebrow in confusion, and the camera zoomed out to reveal none other than Staci, swimming frantically in the same body of water a few feet away. "Staci? What are you doing here?" Scarlett asked in confusion, becoming aware that she was drifting along in a current and starting to swim to stay in place.

"I don't know," the wolfish girl whimpered. "I think I landed in a pipe or something and got flushed out here."

"I see...," Scarlett said, her lips curling back into an evil smile. "I don't suppose you'd..." She paused at the sound of crashing water and dropped her expression. "Actually, where _are_ we anyway?"

She looked back over her shoulder, and Staci whimpered again as the camera zoomed out dramatically to show them approaching the edge of a massive waterfall. "How are we at _Niagara Falls_?!" she exclaimed, swimming even more frantically but drifting towards the edge with Staci all the same. The background music spiked dramatically as both girls moved closer and closer to the falls, and Scarlett yelled out "CURSE YOU, CHRIS MCLEEEEEEEEEEAN!" as she and Staci went over...

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Breathe in...breathe out...

I do believe I have a cast to explain. I know I've made a few...unusual choices, but bare with me. Here's what I was thinking on a case-by-case basis.

Alejandro and Sugar: Though not necessarily the most popular characters, they were each a primary antagonist at points in the original trilogy and were finalists in TSWT. It would be odd not to include either of them.

Scarlett: A little bit more controversial due to her nature and what she's done in the past, but it's hard to argue that she's one of the most notable villains of the series. And since I needed an easy and acceptable first boot anyway, Scarlett got to come back for a fourth season.

Scott: Despite never making the merge, he still feel he had a notable presence as a villain in both seasons he's played in. And because he's never done too well, there's still things I can do with his character.

Noah and Courtney: Easily the two top antagonists of the second generation, even if both have different motives than previous villains of the Shuffled series - especially Noah. I don't including either of them is objectionable.

Justin: Like Scott, he never made the merge yet still had a notable impact on the game. Admittedly he isn't the most outstanding villain, but he most definitely IS one. Plus, I've always wanted to write him and Alejandro in the same season, so there's that.

(Dis?)Honorable Mentions: Amy, while undoubtedly a villain, strikes me as an odd person to write without her twin around. Aside from a possible romance with Scott, I'm not entirely sure how to make her more than a less effective Heather. At any rate, I felt Sugar and Scarlett were better characters to include.  
Topher, although someone I would like to write at some point without his arch-rival Sierra present, just wasn't enough of a Villain to displace Alejandro or Scott. And I just don't see how I could justify him as a hero, especially without Sierra to somehow portray as a villain. Sorry Topher fans, but it just wasn't his season. But I will promise that if another TD season gets made with returning characters, and I'm able to write the Shuffled equivalent of it, I will include then we come to Trent. I'll be honest, I was kind of surprised when so many reviewers latched on to the idea of him being a villain this season after his elimination in last, especially as I had been writing season four with the full expectation of justifying Noah/Courtney/Justin as the second gen villains. I can see where you're all coming from with Trent, but I must disagree - perhaps if it hadn't been a year in-story between seasons four and five, but as it is I just don't think Trent would either actively be holding a grudge against Harold, or looking for redemption. Especially with Gwen by his side. Sorry for disappointing some of you.

And now the Heroes...

Shawn and Jasmine: Why on Earth would I NOT include these two?

Harold: Between his status as a finalist and the loose end of his drama with Jasmine, he was a fairly easy choice to include.

Gwen: Like with Harold, she still has drama left to make use of in the form of a feud with Courtney. Plus, including her as a hero would be a neat little mirror to canon.

Izzy: Definitely one of my odder choices, and arguably the one I was flip-flopping the most on (members of the TD Writer's Forum should know that this is who I was asking for advice about a few weeks ago). Though largely neutral overall, Izzy has still done enough heroic deeds in her tenure last season, particularly in the finale. And speaking of, with Fang still around it should be natural to have his foil around as well - in fact, this is the reason I considered Izzy for this spot in the first place.

Ella: A much more natural choice than Izzy, but I know not everyone will be happy about it even if they understand why she's being included (looking at you, Shed). She won season three, and is undeniably a hero. And I definitely wanted at least one of the season three newbies to get on another season, even if it was the one who went all the way to the end. So while there were other good female choices for this slot, I figured Ella was the best one.

Lightning: I fully expect his placement as a hero will be the most controversial, as he's really not much of one. But he was at least developing in that direction by the end of World Tour. And perhaps more importantly, I just wanted to write him again. Putting him on the Villains would mean displacing either Alejandro or Scott, which I didn't want, but since I figured it would be okay to have a Hero who wasn't a Hero on the team, like Courtney in canon, Lightning would be a great fit. Hopefully you all find the notion of him as a Heroic Hamster as funny as I do.

Honorable Mentions: Tyler, for one. He's a jock, he's a World Tour newbie, and for a long time he was in Lightning's slot. But...I don't know, as lovable a doofus as he is, I just liked the idea of Lightning on the Heroes more. Like Topher, Tyler is definitely on the short list to return should the opportunity present itself in the future.  
Jo as well. She's definitely an All-Star and definitely a Hero in this 'verse, but after TSA I just didn't know what else I could really do with her.  
Zoey, though good friends with Jasmine and Harold and thus able to serve as a bridge between them, just wasn't able to make the cut. Jasmine and Gwen were absolutes, and having Izzy around would lead to more...variety in the possible plots, I suppose? And her role as a person wanting to help bring Jasmine and Harold back together could easily be taken by one of the other ...Trent, again. Granted, this was way early on in the planning stages not only of this season, but of last season as well - before I was even sure Harold was gonna make it to the finale. I did know that Trent and Gwen would likely hook up, meaning Trent in All-Stars was a good idea. But later...mmm, well, he could've worked, but the Harold-Jasmine drama felt more important to me. There just wasn't much reason to have Trent in the game. Again, sorry to disappoint some of you.

Well, I hope that you all understand some of what I was thinking of with this cast. I think it's safe to say these next dozen episodes are gonna be...interesting.

Let me know what you thought of the cast, the premiere, and the season itself, and I'll see you all next week.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)


	2. Chapter 2 - Evil Dread

**Author's Note**

And thus we arrive at the season's second episode! Not as many reviews for the initial chapter as last season, but that's to be expected I feel. Still, it was great to hear all your reactions to the cast, so it's time for me to address them as best I can.

Also, I still haven't really had the time to go over all the ROTI finale reviews, so there's still a chance I'll reply to some of them. But moving back to the present...

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed the teams and Scarlett's elimination. I hope you have a good prom, if it hasn't happened already.

 **Sarcasm Is A Habit:** You know, I'm actually a little surprised by how many people were disappointed that Scarlett got the boot over Sugar. I mean, I meant it to be a surprise considering it was Sugar who messed up...but I never really expected someone to be disappointed to see Scarlett as the first boot after everything that's happened with her. Other than that I'm happy you like my choices for the Heroes especially. And as for the Easter egg you mentioned...sorry, but I honestly don't know what you're referring to. Do you mind explaining it?

 **DSX62415:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

 **ashDanLand:** Yeah, I'll admit that I probably could've done more to make a few people, especially Izzy, seem like more natural choices for the cast. But hey, it is what it is, and it looks like most people like the cast I've chosen. And yeah, it seems like Shuffled Island was so long ago...I guess it's like the say, time flies when you're having fun.

 **Guest #1:** Jeez, you're persistent with wanting Ella to hook up with someone. Sorry to break it to you, but it just isn't gonna happen.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Glad you're looking forward to it. Thanks for the review.

 **graveexcitement:** Yeah, I think a lot of people were able to guess most of the cast, but nobody was able to guess all of it. But, I suppose, that's just my natural unpredictability coming to play again. And honestly, I was totally trying to play up Sugar as a first boot just to make Scarlett's even more surprising, which worked...a little too well? I think more people were disappointed that Scarlett was eliminated than were glad that Sugar wasn't. And yeah, Noah's definitely gonna end up in an interesting place on his team...

 **BuckJohnson:** Thanks! And yeah, narrowing everyone from the past four seasons down into fourteen All-Stars was pretty tough, let me tell you. Even two more players would have made things much easier, but with only thirteen episodes to work with there's not much I could do. Not much to say regarding your analysis and predictions regarding the cast, other than that it was an interesting read.

 **bruno14:** Changing out Justin for Topher wouldn't have worked, as then there'd be an imbalance between the number of older and newer cast members - Topher would've had to replace one of the other villains from his generation. Other than that, I'm glad you're enjoying the cast so far, and their reactions to Fang.

 **Animation Adventures:** Haha, yeah, I knew you wouldn't be expecting it. He was, of course, the person I was alluding to in our conversation regarding Izzy's inclusion, and I was looking forward to your reaction to him showing up. But I'm glad the cross-generation interactions have been great so far, there's a lot of potential there and I'm gonna try and bring out what I can. And you're certainly right that Chris needs to stop disrespecting Staci so much, but that's just who he is.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Always happy to bring you some laughter! And just like you I don't have much else to say right now; I'm happy Scarlett's boot was a sensible surprise, and I'm hoping my plans for the cast turn out well.

 **PizzaTheBomb:** Well, I'm glad you like the majority of the cast. I hope all their interactions live up to your expectations.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Hah, yeah, pretty cool. This series has been...kind of a blast, to be honest. Lots of amazing opportunities, even if I haven't really taken all of them. Hopefully this season truly lives up to the All-Stars moniker.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, that doesn't seem like a thing anyone on the Villains team is gonna forget. Though you'll have to wait and see what actually comes of it.

 **VIPGuest:** Yeah, looks like I was able to fool a lot of people with that. Sometimes the person who screwed up the challenge isn't the one who goes home. And yeah, Lightning and Izzy are definitely the odd ones out on their team, though for different reasons. I'm not sure what you mean by Lightning being OOC last week; he certainly isn't the same Lightning as canon, but I think he's definitely consistent with how he developed in Shuffled World Tour.

 **FilipinaPossible:** Thanks, though I'm still surprised to see people who prefer Scarlett to stay over Sugar, even if its only for a little while. And as for Courtney and Gwen...well, time will tell what I have in store for them.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Haha, I'm glad you like the pairing so much. Though keep in mind, they aren't exactly the same people as in canon, so any interaction between them will develop differently. Still, I hope you enjoy what I do with them!

 **Guest #2:** I'm the first to admit that some of my choices seem strange, especially since you all don't know what I'm planning. Interesting predictions for the most part, though I really do need to stress that the reason why Tophella would never work in this universe is less because of Ella's history with Alejandro (which would still be a deal-breaker otherwise) and more because Topher is GAY in this series. As in, 0% chance of EVER getting with a girl, making any ship between him and a girl in the context of the Shuffledverse to be complete and utter garbage.

 **Alice Queen of Madness:** Thanks, though yet again I'm a little surprised to see someone sad to see Scarlett leave.

 **moka evans:** Well, it's not like Gwen was ever a villain last season. And...to be honest, I had never even considered that point about Noah being less willing than his canon counterpart to go on a bunch of reality TV shows. But it makes sense, in an odd sort of way. It's something I'll try to keep in mind if I ever consider covering TRR. And...honestly, I'm not a big fan of Sugar's stereotypes and canon portrayal either, though that's more a dislike of the fat=disgusting type of thing. I...admittedly haven't really done much to rectify it, unfortunately. And as for the various friendships that could use some patching up...well, you'll just have to wait and see what the future holds.

 **JudgeOfCharacter:** Hah, well, that probably wasn't the highest bar to begin with. But I'm glad you're still looking forward to seeing what's in store this season, and I hope you enjoy it.

 **FOWLKON:** Good to hear it! Even more good to hear that you liked the reasoning behind Lightning's placement on the Heroes - you're definitely right in that while he did start off as a minor Villain in season one, his development put him in a much grayer area. While in canon, he was mostly just comic relief earlier on before slowly developing into more and more of an asshole. As for Dawn, while she has played a significant role in the series as a Hero, she just didn't really have a reason to be here. I'm glad you enjoyed the fake-out with Sugar and Scarlett, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Okay, so for starters it's great to hear that you do like the majority of the cast, their interactions with each other, and the first few parallels I wanted to make with the canon season to show how things are different in the Shuffledverse after four seasons of divergent character development. Of course, that mostly pertains to the Villains, so let's move on to the Heroes - or rather the ones that were actually controversial, to some extent.  
For Lightning, while I knew he was absolutely a crowd favorite I wasn't sure how people would react to him being in the cast as a Hero, especially over Jo and Tyler. Fortunately, the reviewers have really made it clear that his inclusion was an absolutely good call.  
Okay, so, Ella. First of all, I will state outright that she and Harold aren't gonna be a thing; I really have no interest in shipping her with anyone this season. She's there for other reasons, and while exploring Jo and Lightning's rivalry a little more by having them as fellow Heroes does have potential...well, for one I wasn't really thinking of that when I was deciding the cast (I was actually a little concerned that having her and Lightning on the Heroes at the same time would seem a little weird as both are jocks and both were canon Villains), and also I had an idea regarding Ella that I just didn't wanna give up. I know that's not gonna mean a whole lot to someone who doesn't like Ella...but I'd rather have someone in the cast that I have a clear idea for at the start of the season, over one that I don't. As for Tyler...yeah, he got shafted by Ella being here and not him; there just wasn't enough room for him and Shawn and Lightning all in the same cast. Not much else I can say there.  
And now for Izzy...yeah, honestly, your criticism of her not really qualifying as an All-Star is completely justified. It's another example of me getting stubbornly attached to early ideas and trying to make them happen no matter what. Izzy was someone I wanted in All-Stars for a while; it's why she was given the rivalry with Fang...but ultimately, I just never ended up completely justifying her place in this season. Hell, my conversation with Karts was more about whether she was a Hero or not, the possibility of her not actually being a good All-Star never really crossed my mind I don't think. So yeah, that's entirely my fault for not properly setting her up last season. Still...she's in the season, so I'm going to go forward with what I have planned for her.  
Speaking of...you actually totally guessed that I was alluding, in part, to a potential Izzy/Lightning ship in the last Post Script. Fortunately, it was something that only occurred to me after I wrote out their initial interactions; it just seemed like something some readers might read into as a potential ship. And like you were saying, it's definitely an odd choice but it seems to be like right at the edge of something that could realistically work. I mean, Izzy crushing on Lightning is one thing but Lightning returning the feelings is another entirely. I'm not quite sure what I'm gonna end up doing with them; I suppose I'll just explore their interactions a bit more while they're both in the game and see if anything comes of it.  
The only other thing I can tell you regarding Ella and Izzy's inclusions over Jo and Zoey is...well, this is probably gonna sound like vague and unsatisfying bullshit, but there are ideas I have that can only work with the cast as it is. Whether or not those ideas are worth it...is something that can only be known with time.  
The last thing I want to say in this almost excessively long reply is that reading your review has made me confident that a relatively recent idea that I came up with that won't really come into effect until much later is as amazing as I think it is. The end game of the season is definitely gonna be something to look forward to, for everyone.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Yup, that seems to be a trend with this cast - some players are quite a bit more surprising than others. But, I think it's still a good cast. A lot of interesting insights and analysis, and while I can't say much I'm glad you like what you do about the season premiere. As you obviously could tell there's a whole lot of potential in this cast, and while I won't be able to delve into all of it simply due to time constraints, but I hope I can explore enough of it to make this the best Shuffled season yet.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Fair enough, with a season like this I can hardly expect to please everyone with the cast I end up choosing - just look at Shed. Justin may not have done too much, but he was one of the season's villains and that alone gives him a good chunk of prominence regardless of his standing. But yeah, definitely some big plots brewing - some will come to a boil sooner than others, but that's just gonna mean that this season's drama is gonna be spread out nicely, to make every episode exciting. Well, something like that anyway.

 **ZachSwag:** Mmm, well, sometimes All-Stars are born of necessity. Based on standing alone Trent should be more qualified than Justin, but Justin was much more of a villain - and that's what was needed for the season. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed the premiere.

 **Star Saber21:** Hah, I'm glad you liked how things started off. Hoenstly, Dawn was never really in the running for a spot despite the impact she's had on the game, simply because I knew early on that competition for the first gen female Heroes was gonna be tough. I hope you enjoy what the rest of the season brings!

 **I. M. Poik:** Fair enough, a mixed reaction to this cast is something I expected would happen. Sorry to have disappointed you by not returning Amy, or Topher, or Trent, but I hope you'll still enjoy the season. Oh, and a zamboni is a machine used to clean and smooth ice rinks.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Yeah, like I've been saying for some time now the cast this season was tough to make, because I know that not every fan-favorite or expected All-Star would be able to make the cut. But I'm glad you like what I've put together. I'm honestly kind of surprised that nobody has really object to Lightning being a Hero like I thought they would, but I'd rather know that my worry was for nothing than be stuck with a hero that's universally despised by them. And yeah, having the stuff with Tyler happen off-screen does suck...but, well, it's been a year since ROTI, things had to have happened off-screen. Though...I don't really know if your feeling regarding Ella having things in store that wouldn't strictly have been possible with Tyler around is really accurate. But hey, a lot of the time I really don't know what I'm gonna end up doing either. Not much to say about the Villains, other than what I can say about the season as a whole: Sit back, and enjoy the show. There's a lot that's gonna go down this season, even if I haven't quite figured all of it out yet.

 **mitchn:** Yeah, that was definitely a point against her when I was trying to decide if she should be on the team, but ultimately I figured her other actions (especially during the finale) made up for it. Jo's big dream...is not something I'm entirely sure of at this point in time. Ella may find her true Prince eventually, but it isn't likely to be this season. And as for Scott/Courtney...it's an interesting ship, though I think it's a little different in canon compared to what it could end up like in the Shuffledverse.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Even if Topher had made the cut he and Jasmine never would've been an item, simply because Topher is gay in the Shuffledverse. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed the mental image of Jasmine in the baby carriage, and that you like my inclusion of both Lightning and Izzy.

 **link9753:** Thanks! And yeah, you're not the only one who'd prefer Zoey over Izzy. But, well, I have my ideas for her. I hope you enjoy the season!

 **Guest #3:** Okay?

Finally, that's done for the week. As I'm sure you all know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

For those in need of a refresher, here's what the cast looks like right now:

Heroic Hamsters: Ella, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, Jasmine, Lightning, Shawn

Villainous Vultures: Alejandro, Courtney, Justin, Noah, Scott, Sugar

It's only the second episode, but that doesn't mean there's no excitement to be had. SO read on, and enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 2 – Evil Dread**

"Last time, on Total Drama!" Chris opened, the series' capstone theme opening up over a shot of Wawanakwa Island. "I welcomed the All-Stars to the newly decontaminated island," the host said, the recap montage starting off with Sugar's enthused cannonball off the helicopter into the cluster of other campers in the lake below, and Chris watching the resulting splash from the dock.

"Then, it was Heroes versus Villains," the fourteen teens were shown washed up on shore, then standing with their new teammates – first the Hamsters, then the Vultures, " _diving_ into shark-infested waters," Gwen and Justin jumped off the cliff only to be confronted by Fang and his two non-mutant companions, "in search of the _one key_ ," the model was shown picking a large black key up from the sandy lake bed, "that would open the door to the all-new McLean Spa Hotel, for winners only!" The large, high-class building adorned with numerous potted shrubs was shown from the outside first, before the camera cut inside to a luxurious room with Greek columns and pictures of the island and host lining the walls, a comfortable modern-looking arm chair standing next to a massage table, and a small polar bear skin rug lying on a fine red carpet before a wood-burning stove.

"Thanks to Noah's touchiness," the slacker was shown yanking his arm away from Alejandro and in doing so knocking Scarlett's hand truck towards the cliff edge, "we learned that the more things change, the more _Scarlett_ stays the same." The hand truck landed in the lake and was attacked by the shark trio, which allowed the evil genius to break free of her bonds and scare the predators away with a roar of her own. "Unfortunately, while Scarlett _did_ manage to win her freedom, she did _not_ manage to win the challenge," the evil genius was shown arriving at the spa hotel thanks to an exhausted Sugar, but failed to open the door before getting knocked to the side by Harold's arrival. "Instead, it was _Harold_ of the _Heroic Hamsters_ that claimed victory," Chris finished as the dweeb and his athletic escort were shown celebrating, and the whole team was shown cheering in the Peanut Gallery at the elimination ceremony.

"And so it was no surprise that the Villainous Vultures bid _farewell_ to their evillest member," Sugar was shown receiving the final marshmallow of the night to Scarlett's shock and fury, "via our newest and most humiliating com- _mode_ of transportation!" The recap cut to the Flush of Shame with the season's first loser already inside it; her former teammates cringed in disgust, Chris pressed the button on his remote, and Scarlett was flushed away. "The _Flush_ of _Shame_!"

"Who will be next to pop through the pooper?" the host asked the camera after the montage cut away to him and Chef on the dock. "Find out, right now, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

[Though the overall sequence had been shortened for the season, it opens much the same as it has previously – a shift into letterbox format and a focus on the tops of some distant pines. A stage light, sleek and shining with a price tag still attached, rotates up and turns on; then the focus cuts to an angled shot of a different group of trees as a spotlight, also shiny and new, swings down and turns on; then a small video camera pops out of some burrow next to a spray bottle of some cleaning solution, knocking away a roll of paper towels as it emerges; then a second camera pops out of a tree hollow along with a scrub brush, bar of soap, sponge, and a load of soap bubbles. Pale arms clap a film slate in front of the camera, cutting the scene to the Dock of Shame. The camera flies forward, swinging past the Wawanakwa sign and then the final few posts of the dock, rising up to show the spa hotel as Chris and Chef landed their red helicopter in the common area.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[The camera flies past the helicopter and up the thousand-foot cliff, cresting the peak and diving into the lake below, where Jasmine plays tug-of-war with Scarlett over a large treasure chest while a four-armed Izzy chases a terrified Fang by in the background, all three girls in their swimsuits.]

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

[Jasmine and Scarlett set the chest down and to their shock it bursts open to reveal not only a cloud of bubbles and several McLean Invincibility Statues, but also a twitching and awkwardly-folded Noah who floats up in his swim trunks alongside the wooden heads. The shot cuts to a small patch of bubbles on the surface, then zooms out to show the remaining swim-dressed campers lined up according to their teams – the villains holding red dueling sticks on the left on a wooden raft, a hollowed-out log, another wooden raft, and a green canoe; the heroes holding gold dueling sticks on the right on an inflatable raft, a wooden raft, another inflatable one, and a red canoe. The camera zooms in and moves between them as they clash – vicious Sugar against hesitant Ella; smug Alejandro shoving away overconfident Harold with one hand; vain Justin holding off a confused Shawn with one hand as well as he admired his own reflection in a hand mirror; Scott thrusting eagerly but being easily blocked by an unimpressed Lightning; and Courtney and Gwen angrily slamming their sticks against one another, the top pieces of padding on fire to each girl's surprise.]

[The camera zooms in on the two flames as they flare together and the music's usual whistling finish begins, a zoom back out showing the campfire as Jasmine and Shawn leaned in with eager smiles against the full moon...only for Chris to suddenly pop up between them wearing a zombie mask, startling the conspiracy theorist into running away. Jasmine gives the camera an odd frown as Chris removes the mask and the camera zooms out further, revealing the other cast members sitting on the stumps around the fire – Ella, Harold, Sugar, Scott, Scarlett, and Justin on the left; Courtney, Alejandro, Lightning, Gwen, Noah, and Izzy on the right with Shawn cowering behind them. The zoom continues even further, showing the signboard over the firepit's entrance which now read 'Total Drama All-Stars', with the dash replaced by a star.]

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A short, dull note opened the episode as the camera zoomed slightly towards the losers' cabin, a red bird flying in front of it as a yawn filled the air. The scene cut inside to show Alejandro stretching his arms and sitting up in his top bunk along the left wall, then crack his back and rub it in irritation. "How I _hate_ having to sleep in these cabins again," he complained. "These beds are _completely_ unacceptable!"

"Tell me about it," Justin chimed in, the camera panning down to show him lying in the bed below Alejandro. "I thought it was bad last season, but knowing there's a deluxe spa hotel we could've been staying in just makes it worse."

"We _must_ do better today and win that spa hotel, amigo," Alejandro said, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and sliding down to the floor. The creaky thump of his landing was just enough to wake up Noah and Scott, who had been sleeping in the top and bottom bunks along the right wall.

"Uggh, nice to hear the _floorboards_ are as loud as ever," Noah muttered as he sat up in his bed. "And here I was hoping I could get some sleep this season."

"Loud cabin, loud roommates, what's new?" Scott grumbled, flicking away a large red mosquito as it landed on his arm.

/

The shot cut to the left front window of the cabin as the mosquito smacked against it, and the camera panned to the right onto the door to the girls' half of the building. It faded inside to show Courtney still sound asleep, until a loud, whining fart pierced the air.

"Augh, _ewww_ ," she exclaimed, bolting upright from her left wall lower bunk in disgust. "Sugar!"

"What?" the pageant queen said, the shot cutting over to show her sitting up on the opposite side of the room. "I don't like it either but we all gotta fart sometime!"

"Yeah, that's what _bathrooms_ are for," Courtney replied, holding her nose and glaring at her roommate. "Try to hold it in next time, okay?"

"I'll try," Sugar shrugged, "but I ain't makin' no promises."

xxx

"Okay, I came here to _win_ ," Courtney said before her stern glare faltered and she added "...and also to patch things up with Gwen...but mostly to _win_ ," she said sternly again. "I did _not_ come here to share a room with someone who'll eat anything off the floor, no matter _when_ it got there. I can _not_ believe she ever made it to the finals," Courtney said, crossing her arms and looking to the side.

xxx

"Just...try not to make things any worse for us than they already _are_ , okay?" Courtney told Sugar, the camera situated behind the ex-CIT as she stood before her roommate with her hands on her hips, both girls still in their nightwear.

"Room service, suckas!" Chef suddenly called out, drawing the attention of both villains and the camera to the cabin door as a bucket of gruel was shot through it as though by a cannon.

Both girls screamed, with Courtney adding "What's _wrong_ with you?" as gruel splattered the walls, the bucket bounced back to the front of the room, and a sharp and dramatic tune played.

"Heeeeere's _breakfast_!" Chef told them, sticking his head through the hole in the door and cackling darkly as he pulled it back out.

"Ooh, thanks, Chef!" Sugar said excitedly, the shot panning back to show her wiping the gruel off her face and stuffing it in her mouth.

Courtney growled in annoyance and wiped the gruel off her face as well, but merely let it slide off her hand. "We've _got_ to win the next challenge and get into that spa hotel!" she declared before the sound of eating drew her attention downward.

An odd tune played as the camera moved to Sugar scooping gruel up off the floor. "Man," she said after stuffing it into her mouth, "this stuff is pretty tasty! You should try it, Courtney."

"Uhh, no thanks...," Courtney said warily.

/

The scene cut back outside the losers' cabin, and as the opening bars of a classy and classical music piece began to play the camera panned to the spa hotel. " _Wow_ , this food is good," Shawn said in delight before the shot cut inside to him and Ella sitting at opposite ends of a long covered dining table. Four more high-backed red-cushioned chairs sat on the far side of the table between the two, and no less than three fancy glass chandeliers were hanging overhead. The five windows along the back wall were lined with fine maroon drapes, and off to the left side was another table bearing several large fruits and other breakfast foods. "Probably the best I've had in years!" the survivalist said after swallowing another of his sausages. "I mean, it's not enough for me to sleep indoors where the _zombies_ can get me, but still."

"Did you see the releasing of the doves this morning?" Ella asked eagerly, the shot focusing in on her and her tall stack of syrup-covered pancakes. "Oh, it was just about the most _beautiful_ thing I've seen in my life! _Completely_ worth getting up at five."

"Yeah, I caught a glimpse of it from my tree," Shawn said, the camera cutting back to him as an elderly white butler laid another plate filled with sausages and fruit on the table in front of the chair next to him. "And as long as we keep winning, we'll have access to this place whenever we want! Although we can't afford to get _complacent_ ," he said, taking a sip of orange juice and nodding knowingly as Jasmine sat down next to him. "The moment we think we're _safe_ is the moment we're in the most danger. Right, Jasmine?" he asked his fellow survivalist.

"Huh?" the girl said in a distracted tone, looking up at the scruffy boy. "Oh, yeah, right. Can't get too comfortable."

"Something wrong?" Shawn asked, raising a brow.

Jasmine murmured vaguely. "I'm just thinking about what Lightning's up to on Boney Island, that's all."

/

A bolt of true lightning flashed across a sky filled with dark clouds, an ominous tune beginning as the camera panned down to a close up of the jock in question. He seemed to be looking down at something with a look of concentration, his eyes moving back and forth. The viewpoint moved back a ways to show the young athlete perched atop a rock jutting out of a small bay, a stick raised at the ready.

A catfish swam by through the water, and when it leaped into the air Lightning whacked it with his stick. It flew across the water and landed on the beach, and the uber-jock smirked. "Haha fish, you've been struck by _Lightning_!" he bragged...before to his surprise one of the island's monstrous native geese flew past him.

It landed on the sand and lifted the fish in its bill, only for Lightning to immediately land next to it. "Oh no, Lightning does _not_ wanna deal with one of you again," he said, grabbing his breakfast fish by the tail. He and the bird entered a tug-of-war over it, with Lightning getting the upperhand first, only for the goose to flap its wings and drag him back to the left. But after they went off-screen again the sounds of a struggle ensued, and moments later Lightning walked back into view with fish in hand.

"Well that takes care of that," he said. "Though maybe Lightning shoulda figured out how to do that more _heroically_..." He paused a moment, then shrugged. "Oh well," he said before shoving the whole uncooked catfish into his mouth, earning an odd pratfall-ish sound from the background music.

Moments later an ominous gurgling came from his stomach, earning a wide-eyed frown from the athlete and a close-up from the camera. "Sha-dang," he said as the shot panned up from the '1' on his chest to his concerned expression, "this fishie is swimmin' back upstream..."

His cheeks bulged, and he ran behind a nearby rock formation to vomit and collapse to the ground.

/

"I'm just concerned that Lightning will find the invincibility statue," Jasmine said, the scene cutting from Lightning's twitching legs to his teammate skewering a sausage with her fork. "I just don't trust the guy, and I'd prefer to vote him off _sooner_ rather than _later_."

"Ehh, I wouldn't worry about him," Shawn told her. "Lightning's not really the statue-finding type. Having a short attention span and being easily frustrated _really_ don't work in his favor."

"Aww, but that's what makes him so _fun_!" Izzy countered jovially, the camera panning to the left of Jasmine to show the wild child using four arms to take food from each of four separate plates laid out in front of her – a stack of steaks, a pile of bacon, a sliced watermelon, and a stack of pancakes. "I mean," she continued with her mouth full, "sure I barely know the guy, but I got some really good vibes from him yesterday, y'know?"

"Uhh, not really," Jasmine admitted, swallowing her own mouth full of food. "I mean, the guy's only on our team because Tyler and Jo were unavailable. He's not a _real_ hero, and that makes it hard to trust him."

"Well _I_ think Lightning's turned over a new leaf," Ella spoke up. "Or _will_ be, anyway," she clarified. "I mean, how could he not when he'll be around good influences like us?"

" _Yeah_!" Izzy exclaimed excitedly, sprouting a third set of arms and using them to shovel food into her mouth at a pace that made the two survivalists smile awkwardly.

"But I _do_ hope that we can keep winning," Ella told her teammates. "Lightning deserves to enjoy the food, the down pillows, and all the _other_ comforts that we have."

"True," Shawn admitted. "He _was_ a big reason why we won the last challenge."

"I suppose...," Jasmine said uncertainly.

"To Lightning!" Izzy cheered boisterously and unexpectedly, sprouting yet another arm to raise up her glass of juice in toast.

"To Lightning!" Ella and Shawn repeated, raising glasses of their own.

/

The scene cut to the parlor that had been shown in the episode's introduction and recap, with Gwen sitting in the arm chair with her feet up on a stool and Harold lying shirtless face-down on the massage table while the pony-tailed female intern gave a hacking tapotement to his back.

"Uh, is there a _reason_ you asked me to be here with you?" Gwen asked.

"Ohhh, yeahhh," Harold said delightedly. "And also, yeah," he answered Gwen. "I was hoping you could help me with Jasmine. The biggest reason I came back on the show, other than a second shot at the million, was to make amends with her."

"And...how does that involve me?" the goth asked. "I mean don't get me wrong, I hope you two can make up, but I don't see how _I'm_ the one you're turning to for help. Aren't you still friends with Zoey?"

"Yes, but not only was she unable to get Jasmine to talk to me," Harold explained, "but she's also not here. But you _are_ here, _and_ you're cool with Jasmine. You're pretty much my best shot at fixing this," he said, lifting his head and propping himself up on his folded arms. Gwen was taken aback by his appearance – with no glasses on his eyes were surprisingly squinted, and he seemed to have had strips of paper placed over his eyebrows.

"Uhh, okay?" Gwen said hesitantly. "I-wait...," she leaned closer to him and squinted, "are you getting your eyebrows waxed?"

"Uh-huh," Harold replied.

"Wow...," the goth said, taken slightly aback.

"It's called _manscaping_ ," the dweeb explained. "Probably because it's all _manly_ and junk."

"Sure," Gwen said, obviously unimpressed.

"So will you help me with Jasmine or what?" Harold asked.

Gwen sighed. "Fine. But I don't know what you expect me to _do_."

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Harold smiled and nodded.

xxx

"Great," Gwen told the outhouse camera, "now I have to deal with _his_ drama, too? This is _so_ not what I wanted to do when I came back on this show. I mean, I already have _Courtney_ to deal with, and now I'm supposed to get _Jasmine_ to talk to _Harold_? There _better_ just be some easy way to fix all this."

xxx

"I feel kinda bad for putting Gwen through this," Harold confessed. "Luckily she's pretty cool and calm, so I'm sure she can handle it. Zoey did her best, but unfortunately she ended up getting pretty stressed and had to stop. I guess she just couldn't handle being torn between her friends, and I don't blame her for it. Jasmine's pretty stubborn, and I'll admit I'm not always the easiest person to handle, so trying to negotiate between us must've been pretty rough. She probably could've gotten through eventually, but she deserves the break. And since Gwen's more of an _outsider_ , she'll probably be able to see some things the rest of us can't. Either way, I'm not leaving before I've made up with Jasmine," he finished with a decisive nod.

xxx

"Attention, campers!" Chris announced over the camp's loudspeakers. "Iiiiiiiit's _challenge time_!" The shot cut back to the massage parlor. "Get your hineys down to the beach, _pronto_!" Gwen and Harold and even the intern massaging him all looked up.

"Well, guess we better get going," Gwen said.

"Indeed," Harold said, propping himself up on his hands...and then slipping and falling off the massage table. He landed on the floor with a crash and a pained groan, and both Gwen and the masseuse cringed.

/

The scene cut to the sparkling lake, the camera rotating up to show the beach as the team logos spun into place on either side of the screen – Heroes on the left, Villains on the right. Both teams were assembling themselves on raised circular platform, the highest and widest parts being in their respective colors. A line had been made down the center of the sand using rocks, and at the far end of the line was a covered platform raised up on wooden stilts. Chris could just be made out standing within it.

Jasmine hauled herself up to the Heroes' platform and walked past Harold, who smiled and waved at his former friend. The survivalist, however, merely frowned awkwardly, looked away, and hurried to the end of the team line-up, earning a hung head from Harold and a raised eyebrow from Gwen.

"Ooh, _somebody's_ invisible," Chris taunted. "Harsh! This is why TV romance is _never_ a good idea." The shot cut over him, revealing that he'd added a red beret and ascot to his usual outfit, as well as sunglasses.

He looked to the side, and the music became strangely hollow yet still triumphant as the old Boat of Losers drove by with Lightning on the back; the uber-jock leaped from the ship, flipped through the air, and landed easily on the Heroic Hamster's platform.

"Welcome back, Lightning!" Ella greeted him. "Any luck finding the invincibility statue?"

"Nope, but Lightning ain't concerned," the uber-jock said confidently, his fist on his hips as he took his place in the line-up on the far right end with Harold and Gwen.

xxx

"Hmmph," Jasmine sniffed. "Figures that _he_ wouldn't be concerned. He's probably too arrogant to even _think_ he'd ever lose again. He better not mess this up for us."

xxx

"Of _course_ Lightning doesn't need some invincibility statue," the jock told the outhouse camera. "He's on a team of _heroes_ , not a bunch of cutthroat villains! So long as he acts like a hero too, they won't have a reason to vote Lightning out."

xxx

"Bonjour, mes campers!" Chris opened in a pathetic attempt at a French accent, spreading his arms wide. "Some of you will recall our season three Parisian 'find and build a sculpture' debacle."

"If only I could _forget_ ," Ella sighed mournfully. Shawn nodded in silent agreement.

"Well, this time," Chris continued, ignoring the interruption as the camera cut outward and panned from the back of the heroes to the back of the villains, "our interns have buried 3d puzzle pieces _all_ over the beach, seven pieces per team." The shot cut back to his booth. "Find all your pieces and assemble them on your platform to recreate one of the landmarks visited on our World Tour. First to finish wins."

As he spoke, the shot cut to the Villains as they looked at one another – with a particular focus on Sugar standing next to Justin and staring at him dreamily. "Uhh...hey, Sugar," the model greeted. "Nice morning, huh?"

"Yeah...," Sugar answered, reaching out an touching the incredibly attractive boy's cheek. Justin laughed nervously, and moved the hand away, taking a step back.

xxx

"Hoo- _wee_ is that boy cute!" Sugar told the outhouse camera. "Hookin' up with him would almost make up for gettin' robbed of the million!"

xxx

Justin began the next confessional wiping the cheek Sugar had touched with a handkerchief. "I'm used to girls like Sugar drooling over me," he told the camera. "It's the drooling _on_ me that I have a problem with."

xxx

"Since the Heroic Hamsters won the first challenge," Chris explained as the shot moved back to him, "they get to dig with _shovels_! INCOMING!" He raised a hand and called out, he camera cutting down to Chef on the back of the old Boat of Losers in his pilot's uniform. He tossed seven shovels towards the chosen team, and the shot followed them spinning through the air before they reached their targets. Jasmine and Shawn on the left end of the line caught theirs easily enough, but Ella shrieked and closed her eyes and drew her hands close to her body, allowing Izzy to catch the next shovel with a pair of right hands. Harold was less lucky, with the fourth shovel's blade smacking into his face as he caught it by the handle, and Gwen also cried out in panic at the tool that was hurtling towards her, but Lightning caught it before she was hit.

"Here ya go!" he told her, handing the shovel over with a mutual smile and a light note in the music. "Sha- _yoink_!" he followed up, reaching over his shoulders with both arms to catch the last two shovels as Ella walked over.

"Excuse me, Lightning, could I have one of those?" the singer asked.

"Sure thing, girlie," the jock said, handling over the shovel in his right hand. "Lightning was gonna use both and switch 'em up when one arm got tired, but you gotta dig too and _sharin_ ' is the heroic thing to do. Sha-yeah!" He nodded knowingly, then flexed his arms and kissed his bicep. Ella and Gwen shared an amused look.

"Hey!" Sugar exclaimed in annoyance, walking to the right across her team's platform with her hands on her hips. "Where are _our_ shovels?" Just as she reached the edge Scott stuck a foot out and tripped her, causing her to fall off the platform and land on her belly in the sand. "Aagh! Scott, why you-!" she started to exclaim in anger before the sand under her collapsed into a deep moat, sucking her down with a startled cry.

"Aaaaand, getting on and off your platforms will be challenging, due to the moats," Chris explained as the camera panned back left across the Villains' moat. The shot then cut to the Heroes' platform as Jasmine reached her shovel down and poked the ground with a wary look, the sand promptly collapsing with a puff. "That are filled with-" Chris began to continue before another scream from Sugar cut him off.

"Aaaaahhh! Why's there so many _crabs_ in here?" she asked, scrambling up to the top of her team's moat as several red crabs jumped and snapped around her, landing on her back and dragging her back down into the pit.

Chris laughed. "I don't know why, but it gets funnier every time," he said.

"No big thing, for Light-to-ning. Sha- _bam_!" the uber-jock boasted, eagerly jumping off the Heroes' platform...and getting hit by a boxing glove on a spring that popped up the moment he landed and knocked him backwards into the moat. More crabs leaped up and snapped their claws as he cried out in pain, and the camera panned upwards to show all his teammates looking down with worried expressions, except for Izzy who simply grinned in excitement.

"Aaaand, ya _might_ wanna watch out for booby traps in the sand," Chris added impishly.

"So...what are _we_ supposed to dig with, anyway?" Alejandro asked on behalf of his teammates.

"Sorry, but shovels are for winners only," Chris answered. He laughed again. "I guess you'll have to use hands. Your challenge starts, NOW!" he called out in a booming voice, raising and blowing his airhorn as the music rose sharply into something almost grand and blaring.

/

The camera looked up from below as the Heroic Hamsters formed a seven-person circle. "Okay," Jasmine started in a commanding tone, "we should start with three people working in from either end of the area beach the _seventh_ digs in the center. Any questions?"

Gwen nudged Harold with her elbow, and the perspective rotated to put them on the bottom of the screen instead of Jasmine. "Oh, uh, not really," he said, "I just wanna second your idea."

Jasmine gave him an awkward look, and the perspective rotated again to put Shawn on the bottom. "Who are we putting in the center?" he asked the group. "Keep in mind that they'll have to dig _fast_ if we wanna cover as much ground as quickly as possible."

"Ooh! Ooh! Izzy will do it!" the wild child raised a third arm to volunteer, another perspective rotation putting her and Lightning on the bottom. "Izzy _loves_ digging!"

"Right," Jasmine nodded. "The rest of us split up, pick an end, and get digging."

"Sha- _woo_! Go team hero!" Lightning exclaimed, putting his hand in the center of the circle where it was quickly joined by Izzy, Ella, Harold, Gwen, and Shawn, with Jasmine hesitantly adding her last.

xxx

"I'm kinda surprised _Lightning's_ the one who started that," Jasmine told the outhouse camera, a hand on her chin. "I thought for _sure_ he was gonna give me some trouble. Oh well," she shrugged, "I shouldn't complain."

xxx

"Okay, people, listen up!" Courtney shouted, already standing on the beach. "We need to have a _strategy_ if we wanna win this!" The music turned light and plodding and the camera cut outward, showing Alejandro standing next to her and the other villains scattered around nearby digging in the sand on their hands and knees. "We need to divide this area into _quadrants_ , and each pick a quadrant to dig in!"

"Quadrants? No no no," Alejandro countered. "We need to spread more _evenly_ than that. We'll divide the beach into _six_ sections, and each have a single section to ourselves."

"That's basically the same as _my_ idea!" Courtney objected in irritation.

"Yes, but better," Alejandro replied with a smug smile that earned a glare from the ex-CIT.

"Who _cares_ how we dig?" Scott told them. "We just gotta dig faster than _them_!" He motioned towards their off-screen opponents.

"Well excuse _me_ for trying to make this easier for us!" Courtney shot back.

xxx

"Who does _Scott_ think he is?" Courtney asked the confessional camera, her arms cross and her eyes narrow. "He's a villain, sure, but he's _hardly_ a good player. His judgment is almost as bad as his strategies, there's no _way_ I'd ever take suggestions from _him_."

xxx

"The others might not think much of me _now_ ," the farmer said as he whittled a piece of wood, leaning against the outhouse wall with his leg up on the seat, "but that's just gonna give me an edge _later_. The way I see it, I've gotten farther and farther on each season I've been on, so it's about time I made it all the way to the _end_. And with everyone else looking like bigger threats, on top of the new _strategy_ I've cooked up, I don't think I'm gonna be going home for a _while_." He finished with a devilish smirk.

xxx

The Hamsters' logo appeared on-screen as the camera panned across Gwen, Jasmine, and Shawn all digging in silence further inland, the background music rising rapidly before cutting off into a soft trill. Zooming back from them showed Izzy holding her shovel in two hands and rubbing her chin with a third, staring at the tool in what appeared to be serious contemplation. At her feet was a blinking red light, but she didn't seem to be paying it any attention.

"Nah, I don't need it," she said after a moment, shrugging and jamming the shovel into the ground. It struck the blinking red light, setting off an explosion of clothing that blew her back.

"Ewwww, Chef's dirty laundry!" Chris laughed from his covered box.

Though sitting among the scattered clothing with a pair of dark pink briefs with a skull on the front on her head, Izzy's stunned expression quickly faded into laughter. "Hahaha, boom boom!" she exclaimed, tearing the pair of underwear from her head and leaping to her feet.

"Pret-tay, stin-kay!" Chris added as the briefs flew past the camera filming him.

Izzy just laughed a little more, the camera suddenly zooming on her as she sprouted no less than three extra pairs of arms. With another dramatic spike in the music and a manic cackle she spun her eight arms around, jumped up, and dug into the sand like a machine.

The camera panned to the right, showing Lightning, Harold, and Ella digging near the shoreline. "Dang, sha- _nothin_ '," Lightning said with a frown as he finished his hole. He shrugged happily, though, then turned and began to dig again...in the water, to the surprise of his nearby teammates.

"Oh, what is Lightning doing _now_?" Jasmine asked in annoyed disbelief as the camera zoomed out to show the other three heroes watching from the other side of the beach. "Now I have to go set him straight..."

"Wait," Gwen called out as the viewpoint cut to the girls' side and Jasmine paused, "I don't think you need to. Look!" She pointed towards the lake, the shot cutting back over to show Harold walking over to Lightning.

"Uhh, I don't think we need to be digging in the lake," Harold said as the jock continued to uselessly shovel water over his shoulder. "It'll be a better use of your skills to just keep digging towards the center of the beach."

"Huh?" Lightning said blankly, finally noticing his teammate. "Oh, right, yeah."

xxx

"Sometimes when my tummy's empty, my _mind_ ain't full," Lightning explained almost sheepishly. "Stupid Boney Island _fish_ ," he grumbled before his cheeks bulged and he turned around to vomit into the toilet.

xxx

"Huh," Jasmine said as the static cut away. "I guess that takes care of that then."

"See?" Gwen smiled, the camera cutting to her as she continued to dig. "Harold's surprisingly reliable for this kind of thing."

Jasmine sent a thoughtful look down the beach until the sound of metal on stone got her attention.

"Found one!" Shawn exclaimed to a short triumphant theme, the shot cutting to him as he pulled a large hunk of what looked like white marble out of a hole in the sand. Though the final statue's shape wasn't immediately discernible from the first piece, it at least appeared to have a square base.

/

"Why don't you just admit that you _stole_ my idea?" Courtney argued as the scene flashed back over to her and Alejandro facing each other near the villains' moat.

"I didn't _steal_ anything," Alejandro countered, "I _improved_ it!"

"No one cares!" Noah yelled at them, drawing their attention and causing the camera to zoom out to show him, Sugar, Scott, and Justin still digging their holes, though all in different locations. "Seriously, save your power struggle for when we _aren't_ in the middle of a challenge. We're supposed to work as a _team_ , remember?"

"Oh, I agree," Alejandro said quickly and pleasantly. "In fact, it's high time we started to actually help _dig_ , don't you think?" he asked Courtney with a charming smile.

Courtney just gaped speechlessly for a moment, causing the charmer to laugh lightly and walk away. The ex-CIT frowned and huffed in annoyance, then turned and walked the opposite way.

"...well that was easier than I thought," Noah said as the shot cut back to him.

"Hey, don't think that just because Alejandro is willing to work with you that the rest of us are," Justin said, Noah looking up from his hole and the camera panning over to show Justin and Sugar standing over him.

"Yeah!" the pageant queen chimed in.

"I haven't forgotten how you tricked me last season with your notes," Justin added. "I'm _on_ to you, Noah," he said, pointing two fingers from his eyes to Noah's.

"Yeah, because I'm _totally_ gonna try that same strategy two times in a row," Noah said sarcastically. "Who do you think I am, _Scott_?"

" _Hey_!" the devious farmer cried in offense, causing the camera to pan to the left to show him digging near Noah.

"Whatever," the slacker said, standing up out of his hole and walking away. "Just don't try and sabotage anyone this time around, okay?"

Scott narrowed his eyes and frowned in irritation.

xxx

"Oh, I'm not gonna _bother_ with sabotage this time," Scott confessed with a devious smirk. "That's what they _expect_ me to do. See, none of them trust me, and I can work with that. If everyone thinks I'm a _liar_ , I can throw 'em off by telling the _truth_."

xxx

The music turned tense as the scene cut to Justin walking along the beach. He stopped and knelt down to dig, only to quickly pause and look back as the camera zoomed out to show Sugar still behind him

"Uh, can I help you?" Justin asked.

"Just figured we could dig together," Sugar told him with a broad smile, walking closer before the model put his hand out to stop her.

"Hold on, you mind digging somewhere else?" he asked with a charming smile masking his annoyance.

"Oh riiiight," Sugar nodded knowingly, "I getcha. Gotta cover more ground." She winked, then walked away.

She stood up and turned around, only to be faced by Scott. Despite her immediate scowl, he zipped over to her side and put an arm around her shoulder. "Here's a _tip_ ," he whispered. "Justin doesn't really _like_ you, so you should probably stay away from him before he gets annoyed and decides to vote you off."

"Like I'd believe _you_ ," she snorted. "You just don't want me and him to work together!" She shoved him away from her, causing him to trip and slam down on the sand.

A noticeable clunk was followed by a sharp "Oww!" and the camera panned down to show Scott propped up on one arm and rubbing his chin in pain. His eyes widened in realization, causing him to get to his knees and dig through the sand where he'd landed.

Seconds later a short tune of triumph played as he held up what looked like a chunk of black stone in the shape of a squared statue base. "Found one!" he declared before walking over to his team's moat and throwing the carved base up onto the platform...then turning around and getting hit with a sudden board that rose up out of the sand. He fell backward into the ditch with a scream, earning the jumping, snapping ire of the crabs within.

"Two booby traps!" Chris said as the series' capstone theme began to play over the sound of Scott's pain. "Two puzzle pieces! And two _deliciously_ evil moats. It's still _anyone's_ game, but, it won't be for long. Right here, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode faded back in to the host's close-up. "An hour has passed and the teams are still tied at one-all," he whispered. "Which, raises a pertinent question: _WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?!_ " The camera pulled back as he screamed, showing most of the campers still digging on the beach.

Both teams immediately started to protest, the villains focusing on their lack of shovels while the heroes complained about the sun, the heat, and Izzy's apparent disappearance.

"Blah blah blah, whine whine," Chris mocked, leaning back in his chair as the music ramped up into a more typical challenge arrangement. "Hurry up! I have _dinner plans_!"

Sugar was shown walking over to Justin again, the model pausing his dig to narrow his eyes in annoyance while the pageant star just smiled. "C'mon, Sugar, I know it's hard to take your eyes off me but I'd still like you to look for as many of those statue pieces as you can, alright?"

"Okay, if you say so!" Sugar said elatedly, bending down to dig and getting hit in the face by another spring-loaded board for her trouble. It sent her tumbling backward and into the villains' moat, the resident crabs quickly pouncing on her.

"Oh hey, I found a piece," Justin said with a calm smile, lifting a piece from his hole uncaring to his teammate's pained yelps.

The shot cut to it landing on the villains' red platform next to the piece Scott had found. "And that's _two_ for the Villains!" Chris announced.

Jasmine was shown next, prying at a large half-buried piece with her shovel while Shawn worked on a hole nearby. The camera focused in on him as a click gave him pause, and a sudden and rapid beeping caused him to panic. "Hit the deck!" he cried out, turning and pouncing on Jasmine, taking her to the ground with him. The shot cut in for a close-up of their faces, eyes closed in anticipation of an explosion which came weakly and softly. They opened their eyes, and smiled at each other.

"Sorry, guess it was a dud," Shawn said sheepishly. A few dramatic notes played as he looked over his shoulder and the camera zoomed out, revealing a long, thin metal pole that was hooked under his jacket, bent around stiffly, and ended in the hole he'd dug. "Or...something else entirely?" Shawn said in confusion before the pole's tension peaked and it swung back the other way, carrying the scruffy survivalist along the way. He flew into his teams' moat and landed with a cry, a thud, and the now-familiar chorus of pain and claw-snapping. Jasmine winced.

"Yes! _Finally_!" Courtney said in excitement, lifting another bulky piece of carved black stone from a hole. She started to carry it back towards her team's platform, but suddenly stepped on something that caused a small, low bar to swing up out of the sand and sweep her feet out from under her. She gave a startled yelp as she fell backwards, and groaned as the statue piece she'd been holding landed on her chest.

The camera panned to Alejandro, who had been digging nearby. "You really should have watched your step," he taunted her, laughing as he lifted another black statue piece from the ground.

"Oh piece of our statue, I've finally found you," Ella sang, an elegant song playing as the shot cut to her dancing and twirling across the sand with a hunk of marble in her arms. "What else can I possibly-oof!" She was cut off mid-line when a log suddenly shot out of the ground and caught her in the stomach, raising her high off the ground. Now balanced precariously on top of it with the statue piece still in her hands, she looked around nervously.

"Let's see her sing her way out of this one," Chris told Chef, both men smiling at the young woman's predicament.

The shot cut to Lightning, who was running towards the Heroes' platform with a statue piece on his shoulder – one that looked quite like the head of the Statue of Liberty. He skidded to a halt next to Jasmine and right outside the moat, and threw the piece up like a shot put. It landed easily, and he pumped a fist. "Sha- _yeah_! Lightning _is_ the greatest!"

"Uhh, sure," Jasmine told him with a mildly annoyed frown. "Just save the bragging for _after_ the challenge, okay?"

"Fine, fine," Lightning said with mild annoyance of his own, walking away with a slightly sour pout.

"Good," Jasmine nodded. "Now where the _heck_ is Izzy?" she said, looking around with concern.

/

A flash put the focus on Noah as he struggled to haul a piece along by himself. Upon reaching the moat he found Sugar already standing there, hands on her hips and a glare on her face. "Hey, you mind helping me get this up top?" Noah asked, holding the piece out to her.

She grabbed it. "I don't _need_ any help with this," she told him to his confusion, "just like I _don't_ need you to score this for us instead of me!" She yanked the piece out of his grasp, then tucked it under her arm and grabbed him by the collar with her free hand.

"Uhh...," was all the schemer could get out before Sugar threw him into the moat, then heaved the statue piece onto the platform to the sound of his pained cries.

/

The shot cut to Lightning and Harold, the two boys digging separate holes near each other. The jock ended up vigorously and thoughtlessly shoveling sand into the nerd's face, causing Harold to stumble forward in a fit of blind and hacking coughs. A sudden close-up of his feet showed him stepping on some kind of hidden pressure plate, causing a cannon of all things to pop out of the sand and fire off. Luckily for Harold he was hit with a cartoonish boxing glove rather than an actual cannonball, but it still doubled him over and knocked him to the ground.

Lightning stopped digging at the sound of the impact, and turned a blank look behind him. "Oh, sorry bro," he told his teammate. "Lightning was so in the zone he totally didn't see you!"

Harold just wheezed out a small cloud of sand.

The camera pulled back from them, showing Jasmine and Gwen watching from a distance. "Hrmm," the taller young woman said, frowning in irritation.

"Y'know, I bet Harold would appreciate you going over there and helping him up," Gwen suggested. Jasmine gave her an odd look, prompting the goth to shrug and add "I'm just saying, that's all."

"You seem _oddly_ pro-Harold lately," Jasmine said with narrow-eyed suspicion.

"He asked me to get you to talk to him," Gwen admitted. "Though even if he hadn't I wouldn't mind seeing you two patch things up."

Jasmine sighed. "That's what I thought. I _do_ miss being friends with him...," she said almost mournfully.

"But I'm sensing a 'but'," Gwen said knowingly.

" _But_ I can't just forget what happened last season," the survivalist said after a nod. "Causing me to get eliminated isn't something he can just make up for, you know?"

It was Gwen's turn to frown and sigh and nod. "Yeah, I know how _that_ feels."

"Besides, I just-hold on," Jasmine began to continue before noticing something to the side and furrowing her brow. "What's _he_ doing over there?" she asked, the music becoming tense, soft, and trilling as the camera cut to a shot of the Villains' area from Jasmine's perspective. It was focused in on Scott, who was standing above a hole near the border between sides. He looked around with a devious expression, then bent down and started filling the hole back up with his hands.

The shot cut in closer as he finished flinging sand and stood up, only to be faced with a glaring Jasmine standing over him when he turned around. "What are you _up to_?" she asked, hands on her hips with one still holding on to her shovel.

"Nothing," Scott answered smoothly, "just acting suspiciously in hopes that it'll distract one of you _heroes_ for a little while. Looks like it worked."

"A likely story," Jasmine said, still maintaining her accusatory tone while stepping over the line of rocks dividing the two sections. She crouched down and swiped a bit of sand off the top of the recently filled hole, tasted it, then frowned in dissatisfaction. "Let's just see what you put here, shall we?" she said before jabbing her shovel into the looser patch of sand.

"You won't find anything," Scott told her with a mocking grin. "I already checked that spot."

Jasmine paused, gave the dirt farmer and even more suspicious look, then started thrusting her shovel into the sand around the former hole over and over again. Scott laughed and started to walk away, but a sudden clunk caused both him and Jasmine to pause.

The ground rumbled, and a torrent of water spat out of the ground and drenched both of them. The water petered out, and to the two soaked teens' surprise a hole opened up where the water had come from. The shot zoomed in on it.

A hand suddenly reached out and grabbed the edge of the hole, eliciting startled gasps from Jasmine and Scott and a jump in the music.

Another hand soon followed it.

Then came six more.

" _Boo_!" Izzy said as she swiftly lifted herself most of the way out of her hole, her back to the sky and her dirty, grinning face pointed at Jasmine and Scott. They gave a startled cry, and fell onto their butts.

"Izzy _?!"_ Jasmine said in wide-eyed shock. "Where have you _been_?"

"Underground," the wild child shrugged and laughed. "You know, digging around and stuff. I guess I just lost track of things while I was down there, huh?"

"Yeah," Scott said irritably. "For starters, you're on the _Villains_ ' side of the beach!"

Izzy looked around blankly. "Huh," she said, "I guess you're right. Oh well. Hey, Jasmine," she turned her attention to her teammate to Scott's annoyance, "look what I found!" She finished lifting herself from the hole, planting her feet on the ground and revealing the two white statue pieces she held with her fifth pair of arms.

"Err...good job, Izzy, let's take 'em back to the others," Jasmine replied, her wariness soon fading into a content smile.

The two girls walked away, leaving Scott to dust himself off. When he looked back up the camera panned over to show Izzy, her extra arms now gone, shooting a strangely dark grin back at him over her shoulder. Scott raised an eyebrow in wary surprise.

xxx

Izzy opened her confessional with laughter. "Oh man, I _love_ sneaking up on people!" she told the camera. "Popping out of the ground like that was _so much_ fun." She sighed in pure delight, then seemed to sit up bolt straight and adopt the same dark grin she'd given Scott. "But what the others don't know is that my time in the dark and sandy depths has _changed_ me. _Gone_ is the Izzy they know and love," she said, waggling her eyebrows as the music spiked dramatically, "leaving only _El Mal_ _é_ _fico_! Mwa hahahaha!" She began to cackle evilly, deviously rubbing her hands together as the music turned dark and eerie.

xxx

"Okay, so I'm thinkin' the two of us should form an _alliance_ ," Sugar told Justin, standing over the model as he dug up another piece of the villains' statue. "I mean, it's only natural on account of us bein' the best lookin' guy and girl on the island. It's a real match made in Heaven if you ask me!"

"Uhh, right...," Justin said noncommittally as he hauled the black rock out of the hole he'd dug. "Hey, you mind taking this over to our platform for me? I wanna check in with Alejandro and see where I should be digging next."

"Sure thing!" the pageant queen said eagerly, taking the statue piece from him. "I'll dump it off and be back with ya in a jiffy!"

"You do that...," Justin said, masking his annoyance but not his lack of enthusiasm as the two parted ways.

The camera stuck to Sugar as she carried the bulky rock across the sand at a surprisingly leisurely pace. "Alright, I think I just about got him around my finger. Only need two more people and I got myself an alliance! Guess I better start talkin' more _strategy_ to the other newbies. Probably shouldn't'a pushed the scrawny one into the moat come to think about it."

It was then that she reached the Vultures' moat, and with a grunt of effort heaved the bulky stone up at the platform. She turned around and walked away dusting her hands together, but the camera cut to the statue piece to show it falling short and bouncing off the edge of the platform. It landed on the rim of the moat, then after a tense moment tumbled down into the pit sending crabs leaping and snapping in its unseen wake.

"Better get back to Justin," Sugar said to herself, oblivious to what had happened behind her. "I don't want him talkin' to _Al_ all by himself. He might get tricked into hatin' me!"

/

Then scene flashed over to the Heroes as Izzy and Jasmine threw the two statue pieces the former had found up onto their platform, then high-fived.

"So, how many does that make?" Shawn asked, walking over to join them.

Izzy replied by eagerly jumping up and grabbing the edge of the Hamsters' platform, planting her feet on the pedestal below it and pushing off that that to flip herself up and over onto the top. "Woo hoo, six out of seven!" she called out excitedly after taking a moment to count.

"Good," Jasmine nodded, the camera cutting outward from her to show that Harold, Gwen, and Ella had come over as well. "Some of us should start working on the puzzle with Izzy while the rest of us keep digging."

"Sounds like a plan," Shawn told her. "I'll do the puzzle, these holes are starting to look a little too much like _graves_ for my liking," he added before jumping up and grabbing the edge of the platform.

"I'll obviously lend my superior intellect to this as well," Harold added with a cocky nod, jumping for the platform as well, missing the edge, and getting grabbed by Shawn. The dweeb smiled sheepishly as he was pulled up.

"Coming~!" Ella said in a singsong voice, raising her hands up to the platform and allowing Shawn and Harold to pull her up.

The shot cut back to Jasmine and Gwen, the former looking at the latter expectantly. "I think I'll keep digging with you and Lightning," the goth said. "Speaking of, where _is_ bicep-brain anyway?" The two girls looked around, and the shot cut to the jock in question as he exuberantly ran across the beach with shovel in hand.

"Sha- _diggety_!" he said, right before stepping on a hidden plate that sprung back up, launching him towards the lake with a scream. Right before he hit the water a motorboat sped into his path, causing him to bounce off it before splashing down in the water.

"When we did our safety test," Chris told the camera as it cut to him and Chef in the covered box, "that boat wasn't there."

"As if we _test_ these things," his assistant pointed out, causing both men to laugh.

A trail of bubbles was shown moving along the surface of the lake, and when it reached the shore Lightning leaped from the water with a look of determination. "Ain't no trap gonna keep _Lightning_ down," he said, dashing onto the beach to continue digging along with Jasmine and Gwen.

The camera pulled back to show Courtney watching them from afar, her gaze seemingly pointed at her former friend. A perspective change showed her sighing wistfully, only to stop as Scott walked up with a smirk on his face.

"Missing Gwen, huh?" he asked. "Oh well. It's probably for the better that she's still mad at you. It'd be too much to try and get back on her _good_ side while still trying to focus on the game."

Courtney huffed. "Isn't there a _hole_ you should be falling into?"

"Just sayin'." Scott told her, walking away with a laugh and a smirk as Courtney turned her gaze back towards Gwen.

Another outward zoom in turn showed Alejandro watching the two with a thoughtful smirk of his own.

xxx

"Hmm...if Scott is up to what I _think_ he's up to," the arch-villain told the outhouse camera, "then things will get veeeeery interesting around here. Before his plan inevitably blows up in his face, of course," he added confidently.

xxx

The music was tense and pounding as the camera panned across the Heroes' statue pieces. "This all looks so _familiar_ but I just can't place it," Harold said, the shot cutting to him and Shawn standing over the puzzle and rubbing their chins in thought. The dweeb suddenly snapped his fingers, however, and declared "Eureka! It's gotta be the Statue of Liberty!"

"Yeah, seems obvious once you think about it," Shawn added, the two boys sharing a high-five.

"Found one!" Alejandro announced as the camera moved to the villains, the charmer holding up what appeared to be the face of a clock while Noah and Courtney stood up with interest in the background. He became quiet as he swiftly counted under his breath, reaching seven and grinning. "That's all of them! Quickly, we must start building!" He took off running, the camera showing him passing Sugar and Justin, causing them to perk up and give chase once Noah and Courtney had passed as well. Scott brought up the rear, passing right in front of the camera.

Alejandro was shown easily leaping onto the platform, but Noah was only able to grab onto the edge. He was only able to struggle to find a foothold and haul himself up for a second before Courtney jumped up, grabbed onto him, and climbed up his back onto the platform. "Sorry, Noah," she told him before Justin used him as a rope ladder as well.

"Hang in there, man," the model told him.

"Thanks, _teamie_ ," Scott added snidely as he became the third to jump out and grab the slacker. The camera zoomed in on Noah's face as he grit his teeth and growl in irritation. He attempted to pull himself up once more only to be stopped by the sudden weight of Sugar latching onto his back.

"Hey, this ain't so hard!" she said as though in disbelief as she climbed up the scrawny boy.

Noah groaned, then yelled in pain when a crab jumped up and clamped onto his hanging butt.

The shot cut to the top of the Villains' platform. "Okay people, we can figure this out if we just go about it in a calm, orderly fashion!" Courtney called out over the fast-paced challenge music, the camera quickly pulling back and panning right over her hectic teammates.

"Try these two together," Alejandro said, pointing from the large and boxy piece he was holding to a couple other piece lying between him, Courtney, and Justin. The model reached for one of them, only for the charmer to correct him. "No, _that_ one!"

"Shouldn't we try to work from the bottom up?" Noah suggested, picking up the piece that was clearly the base.

"Hey, that sounds like a great idea!" Sugar declared with a level of enthusiasm that took Noah off-guard. She grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him in close, then whispered "I like your smarts, kid. How about you an' me form an alliance?"

"Uhh...no thanks..." Noah said warily, ducking under the pageant queen's arm and walking away with the statue base still in his hands. Sugar was shocked for a moment, then pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in annoyance.

/

The footage skipped ahead to a pan up the villains' partial statue, which had three pieces including the base that fit together perfectly to form the bottom of a square tower. Fourth was the large, boxy piece that Alejandro had been trying to fit with the others, but it didn't seem to work with what was below it. A smaller spire-like piece had been placed on top, and Alejandro was now fitting the clock face into an open hole in the front of the boxy piece.

"It's clearly a clock tower," he said as he stepped back to enjoy what he thought was the finished work. "Big Ben, to be specific."

/

"Oh, it looks _fantastic_!" Ella gushed as the scene moved to the Heroes' platform, her and Izzy and Shawn and Harold standing around their nearly-complete Statue of Liberty.

"Yeah, but also incomplete," Shawn pointed out, prompting the camera to briefly zooming in on the missing right hand before cutting back to the four. "Looks like we just have the torch left. It's gotta be out there _somewhere_."

The viewpoint shifted to show Gwen, Jasmine, and Lightning still digging at various distance along the Heroes' stretch of beach. "Don't worry guys, we'll find it," the goth called out to her puzzle-solving teammates.

/

"Is it just me," Justin asked, the music fading out as the camera moved back to the Vultures as the model and the farmer tried to rotate the top of the clock tower to a more stable position on the bottom half, "or is this not fitting?"

"Hate to say it but I think the airhead's right," Scott said as they set the three pieces onto the platform, ignoring them as they fell apart.

"But why? Don't tell me we put it together wrong," Courtney wondered.

"Maybe _Al_ miscounted," Sugar suggested with a pointed look at her third-season rival.

The charmer scowled at the hated nickname, then shook his head. "No no no, a Burromuerto _never_ miscounts. Justin and I each found two of the pieces, while Scott, Noah, and Courtney each found one. That's seven total. Did one of you leave a piece on the beach?" he asked his teammates accusingly.

"Uh, _no_ ," Courtney said, hands on her hips in offense.

"Yeah, I made sure my piece landed up here," Scott chimed in.

"Don't look at me," Noah said as the focus panned to him, Justin, and Sugar, "I got my piece to the moat. _She's_ the one who was supposed to throw it up."

"And I _did_!" the pageant queen said in offense. "And I tossed the one Justin gave me up here too!"

She and Noah looked at the model, who raised his hands up defensively. "Hey, my other piece was our second point, remember? Chris called it out and everything."

"Hmph," Alejandro scowled. " _Clearly_ one of you is mistaken. And that means we have to go back down and look for the last piece. _Again_."

The other Villains grumbled, but followed him back off the platform as the music became tense again. The camera cut down to the beach as they landed with Sugar coming down last, losing her balance, and falling backwards into the moat. Her teammates ignored the flurry of leaping, snipping crabs that followed, but turned back in shock as they heard her holler "Hey, I found it!"

Seconds later the missing part of the tower landed on the sand, and Justin walked over to pick it up. "Hold on, isn't this the piece I gave to you, Sugar?" the model asked.

"Uhh...," the pageant queen said, climbing up to the lip of the moat and looking at the piece, "w-well, it musta fallen off when nobody was lookin'. You can't blame me for that!"

"Whatever," Courtney said. "Just get it onto the platform so we can _win_!"

The shot cut over to the Heroes' side as Gwen reached into the hole she'd dug and with a wide smile pulled out the torch-holding arm of their statue. "Guys, I found it!" she told her teammates, Lightning and Jasmine looking over with excited smiles.

"Awesome, girl, throw it long!" the uber-jock told her as she ran past to the cheers of concern and encouragement of her teammates, and the camera cut in close as she stopped and threw the piece towards their platform.

Izzy, Shawn, Harold, and Ella, watched it sail over their heads with growing smiles, an extended flat note giving way to a tune of glory as it landed exactly in its place. The shot zoomed out from the completed Statue of Liberty, showing it bathed in radiant light as the victors cheered.

"The Heroic Hamsters win _again_!" Chris announced from the box he still shared with Chef. The Villainous Vultures groaned, Alejandro just about to slot the final piece of Big Ben into place as Scott and Justin held the top half and Courtney and Noah helped pull Sugar onto the platform.

"But I wanted that spa hotel!" the ex-CIT groaned, stamping her foot in frustration.

"Alright!" Lightning said as the shot cut back to him, Gwen, and Jasmine. "Sha-Lightning's gonna be livin' it up _tonight_!"

"E _hem_ ," Chris said in annoyance, drawing the attention of both camper and camera back to his semi-private seat. "I _do_ require a volunteer for exile duty!" he said with a smile.

"I'll do it," Jasmine said. "I'd feel better if if I'm there myself," she explained with a narrow side-eye towards an oblivious Lightning.

She was startled when Chef suddenly grabbed her by the arm, the camera zooming in on her uncomfortable expression before zooming out to show her on the back of the Boat of Losers. It sped away, and the scene moved back to the beach as Courtney nervously watched the victorious heroes walk by in the foreground.

"Oh hey Gwen," she called out to the goth when she appeared on-camera, "congrats on your second win!" Her former friend stopped walking, but only to scowl at her. Courtney was taken aback, but only for a moment. "So, umm, I bet you're really looking forward to another night in that spa hotel, huh?"

"Yeah, since I won't have to share a room with _you_ ," Gwen said coldly before turning to walk away again.

Courtney sagged in disappointment, and a few deep drumbeats were added to the music as she sulkily started walking down the beach as well...only to step on a hidden pressure plate that launched a bag of garbage into the air. Though she gasped in shock Courtney failed to dodge the bag as it crashed down onto her, exploding into a mess of rotten fruit, old bottles, and strange juices best left unidentified. Covered in stinking, disgusting filth, Courtney could only cough and shudder and cry.

The sound of clapping brought the camera back to the host. "Maybe you should leave being nice to the _heroes_ ," he told her. "It just doesn't suit you."

Courtney just growled in frustration.

/

The scene faded forward to nightfall, the elimination theme opening up over the usual shot of moonlit Wawanakwa. "Welcome back, Hamsters!" Chris greeted the two-time victors, the shot cutting to the six non-exiles sitting in the Peanut Gallery with the host standing before them. "Sit back and enjoy the show. Vultures," he turned as a deep note struck, the shot cutting to the six villains on the stump seats, "it's time for you to vote off another member."

"Hee hee hee," Izzy giggled darkly, the camera swinging around to zoom in on her as she was given a background of roaring fire. "One by one they will _all fall_ ," she said ominously, the shot immediately zooming out to show her teammates staring at her warily.

"Umm...that's... _nice_...," Ella said from the seat to Izzy's right, scooting an inch away from the redhead.

xxx

"Sugar cost us the challenge again," Alejandro mused in the outhouse confessional, "but Scott's _clearly_ up to something. What to do, what to do...," he said, tapping his chin in thought.

xxx

"Is there any way I can vote for _all_ of my teammates?" Noah asked the camera dryly. "Things aren't exactly working out for us..."

xxx

"The following players are safe for another day," Chris announced as the static cut away to a shot of him from behind the front row of villains, Chef by his side holding the tray of marshmallows. The camera zoomed in on the papers Chris was holding up, and he threw away the blank cover page to reveal an unmarred photo of...

"Noah. Courtney. Justin. Aaaand Alejandro." One by one the photos were revealed, and the four in question were shown receiving their prizes. "Sugar, you're on the chopping block for messing up the second challenge in a row, and for being annoying."

"Hey, I am _not_ annoyin'!" the pageant queen objected, elbowing Justin and saying "Tell him I'm not annoyin', Justin!"

The model just rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Scott," the camera panned to the nervous farmer, "you're on the block for your general shadiness, and for annoying Sugar."

"Serves you right," the pageant queen said haughtily.

"And tonight's loser _is_...," Chris said, the bottom two breaking their glare the music became tense and trilling. The shot moved to the host's bland smile, to Sugar's nervous frown, to Scott's similar expression, to the final marshmallow, and the down to the untouched photo of Alejandro as Chris threw it away to reveal the crossed-out photo of...

" _Sugar_!"

The young woman in question gasped. "No, it _can't_ be!" she declared, the screen rotating about a central axis to transition the scene to the Flush of Shame and the sombre farewell theme began to play.

"Y-you _can't_ get rid of me again, you just _can't_!" Sugar desperately told her former teammates who stood with the host on the Dock of Shame while she sat in the massive toilet's bowl. "I was supposed to _win_ this time! I had so much to play for!"

Chris just smiled impishly and pressed the button on his remote, flushing Sugar with a spinning scream. "Yeah, but who _doesn't_?" he asked with a laugh. "This is _All-Stars_!" he added as the background music transitioned into the series' capstone. "Who's in line for a porcelain goodbye?" he asked the camera. "Find out next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The clip opened with Sugar floating upward out of a pipe, her cheeks bulging as she tried to hold her breath. A calm bal-musette tune began to play as she gasped for air, then swam over to the concrete walkway lining whatever body of water she'd been put in. "Well darn, there goes another shot at becomin' a millionaire," she pouted, clinging to the walkway but still mostly in the water. "Dang villains...now I gotta figure out where the heck I am!"

She started to haul herself onto dry land, and to her surprise a black-skinned hand with a baggy green sleeve reached down to help her up. "Well met, fair traveler!" a familiar voice with a slight lisp greeted. "'Tis the river _Seine_ you've come to, in the marvelous City of Lights!" The arm directed her attention upward, the camera panning to follow and zooming out to show the Eiffel Tower standing tall and proud and well-lit in the night.

Though dripping wet, Sugar couldn't help but stare in awe. "Wow...never thought I'd be in _France_ again!" she said before lowering her head in sudden realization, then looking to the side as the camera panned over to show her savior. "Wait a minute, you're that wizard from last season!" she said to a smiling Leonard. She gasped. "Did you save me with your magic powers?" she asked breathlessly. "Find me with a spell and everything?"

The LARPer, wearing the same wizardly garb he'd decided to don for the previous year's competition as his own personal challenge, opened his mouth to say something only to be interrupted by another familiar voice.

"Umm, _no_?" the voice said, clearly female and even more clearly annoyed. "We've just been searching the riverside for the past couple hours. Waiting for you to get here has been like _super_. _Annoying_." The camera zoomed out a little bit as Sugar looked to her right, narrowing her eyes as none other than Sierra walked up. "Like, I seriously don't even understand why we had to come pick you up."

"It was none other than the _hand of fate_ itself that guided us here," Leonard began dramatically before Sierra cut him off again.

"Okay, I _know_ we drew the short straws for this, I was _there_. I was speaking, like, _metaphysically_ , okay?" Sierra told him with her hands on her hips.

"Well, I think you should be _honored_ to be pickin' me up," Sugar told her former enemy. "I'm an All-Star!"

Sierra just scoffed and snorted.

"Perhaps we'd best get going," Leonard told the two in a placating yet intimidated tone. "We've got to catch a flight back to Canada!"

"Well then, what're we waitin' for?" Sugar asked brusquely, walking off down the foot path with Leonard and a reluctant Sierra right behind her.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there you have it, folks. The Villains suck for the second time in a row, and Sugar finally pays the price for it. Sorry to those of you who wanted her to stick around a little longer, but at least her elimination was due in part to Scott who's had a legitimate beef with her due to season three. Even if it wasn't stated explicitly, it should still be thought of as his revenge.

Let's see, what else...well, obviously, a whole lot more plots started up. Some will last longer than others, and some are more for drama and others more for comedic purposes, but I hope they'll all be enjoyed just the same. Incidentally, Izzy's new moniker is intentionally gendered wrong - this is Izzy, after all; there's no reason she needs to have perfect Spanish.

Hmm...not much else that I can think to talk about, to be honest. I mean, it's not like anything unusual happened at the very end of the chapter or something that I'm deliberately avoiding. So let's just cut it there, and I'll see you all next week!

Until then, enjoy yourselves.

\- Fangren

Post Script Script: Crap, crap, totally forgot to mention this in the initial posting, but I'm considering switching a couple episodes around just to make the boot order a little better. Normally I'd just switch the eliminations themselves, but at least one of those is tied heavily into a specific challenge and I can't really bare to put it elsewhere. But, unlike in World Tour where the episode shuffling was more on-theme and Island where the late-game episode switch was a necessity brought about by having an extra returnee at the merge, I feel like this is a little worse of a reason somehow? I don't know. **Just please, let me know if you're okay with some minor episode switching to make the elimination order better.**

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)


	3. Chapter 3 - Saving Private Leechball

**Author's Note**

It's that time of the week, folks! I hope you're all looking forward to the episode. But as always, before we get to that there are reviews to answer. However, **please note that at this time I am not going to answer questions regarding the bonus clips.** I want them to be something that you all figure out for yourselves.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Thanks, and once again I hope you enjoy your prom.

 **Guest #1:** Don't worry, I plan to.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks! I hope you like it.

 **xXRocketShark216Xx:** Ehh, I don't think it's that hard to fix the problems of canon AS seeing as they were primarily due to poor/inconsistent characterization.

 **Tokusatsu-31st Century:** I'm glad you're pleased by the second elimination. As for what's next...well, you'll find out soon enough.

 **moka evans:** Well then, I'm happy you're enjoying things so far and I hope the rest of the season lives up to your expectations.

 **Sarcasm Is A Habit:** Haha, well I hope the plots develop to your liking. I'll definitely be keeping in mind the differences between Gwen and Courtney, though. And as for the other things...well, I understand it a bit better now, but trust in that I didn't try to foreshadow or reflect season placements with those people on the cliff.

 **FShield96:** Aha, yeah, totally forgot to put the title image up so thanks for reminding me. Anyway, thanks for the review!

 **The Prime Writer:** No worries, no worries, I'm just glad you're doing okay now. It's good to know that you're enjoying the season so far, though as you implied the start of the canon season was fairly good - the more difficult things to fix haven't quite arrived yet. I am, of course, doing my best to keep characterization consistent with what has happened in previous seasons, including Jasmine's distrust of Lightning and Gwen's towards Courtney. Sorry to disappoint with the lack of Trent, Zoey, or Tyler, even if its minor, but I'm certain the rest of the season will more than make up for it. And honestly, the possibility of a Jo/Noah ship never even crossed my mind. I...honestly have no idea if it'd work. Anyway, I hope things go well for you both in reviewing and writing.

 **Animation Adventures:** Yeah, that was admittedly a pretty big piece of telegraphing on my part. Honestly, figuring out and then writing all the interactions has been a blast, so it's great to hear that people are enjoying them. There's a lot more where they came from, too... And as for Zoey...well, she's absolutely someone who I needed to explain the absence of, considering how important she is to Harold and Jasmine.

 **bruno14:** Good to hear. Lightning has definitely been an interesting character to write this season since I have to balance between his desire to fit in with his team and his natural personality. Of course, the same can be said of basically everyone else - all their conflicts and strategies and personalities are interconnected, so one person trying to do something can have an effect on someone or something completely unrelated...well, it's hard to explain but it's fun to think about and I can tell that the end result has been really good. I hope you enjoy what comes next.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Haha, well, this is Izzy we're talking about after all...

 **P. T. Piranha:** Wow, great to hear it! I hope I don't let you down, but knowing what's coming up this season I don't think that's too likely.

 **ashDanLand:** Mmm, well, I don't think I've ever quite felt the same way - I don't tend to really feel strong hate for characters. But, I did enjoy hearing your thoughts on some of the cast; there's definitely a lot to feel sorry for among them. And honestly, don't worry about the relatively lower levels of reviews compared to other seasons; it's just something that happens.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yup, pretty much. While entertaining, Sugar was pretty much always designed to be an early boot. But she served her purpose, so all is well. As for Lightning, I'm glad you're enjoying him - he's just such a blast to write that it would be supremely disappointing if people didn't like him. You are absolutely right in that the mosquito storyline was pretty much completely pointless in canon; all it did was further the pain inflicted on Sam to I guess kind of justify him taking the pancakes in episode four? But regardless, there was absolutely no way I was gonna include it as anything more than a bare acknowledgment of its existence.  
Speaking of acknowledgment, I fully admit that Ella doesn't have much plot right now. Think of her as...a slow burner, if you will - starting off basically just being herself as a support character for a little while before finally becoming important to the plot.  
As for Izzy...well, I can't say much right now without spoiling too much besides the fact that...well, she's Izzy being Izzy.  
Not much to say regarding the others, besides the usual fact that I enjoy hearing your thoughts and expectations and predictions regarding them. Especially about the bonus clips, and the relatively recent idea I ended up having...

 **Guest #2:** Beardo's gay too, there's no reason to only have one gay person per story. And for that matter, Sammy and Dawn are both bi, and Amy is implied to possibly be one as well though strongly in denial about it. And...honestly, I thought Sugar's elimination was way more obvious that Scarlett's, but I guess not everyone feels the same way. And while I'm certainly glad you're enjoying Scott, and your idea for a friendship between him and Noah is interesting in a couple ways (though flawed in other ways, for example Scott needs no assistance in dishing out sick burns), I'm not gonna share what I have in store for him just yet. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

 **FOWLKON:** Hmm...not much I can really tell you. Izzy's just being Izzy.

 **TotalDramaJudge:** Well, not every elimination can be shocking. And yeah, two losses in a row is not exactly good for the Villains...but, well, you'll see soon enough what comes of it. And as for Izzy...well, you'll find out more about what she's up to soon enough as well. And 'El Malefico' is the name she's given herself now.

 **BuckJohnson:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Interesting thoughts on the camper, but I can't say much more than that.

 **DSX62415:** Well, Izzy on her own is tough enough as it is. And as for your idea of Ella hooking up with DJ/Dawn/Sammy...yeah, not gonna happen. Those three are satisfied with each other, they're not looking for love elsewhere.

 **I. M. Poik:** lol, I wonder who you hate the most right now? That aside, it's always interesting to hear your thoughts and criticisms. And regardless, I hope you enjoy how the rest of the season unfolds.

 **MALHATER45:** Thanks, great to hear it! I can't make any promises regarding the Final Two, though.

 **OMAC001:** Ah, well, I'm sure you'll find out sooner or later.

 **graveexcitement:** Yeah, Scott's definitely gonna have some maneuvering to do even with his new strategy. But, well...there's a lot of different people in play here, so who knows how things will turn out? I've been enjoying writing the Villains, and the consequences of their losses. Which, of course, ties in with the fact that the Heroes haven't been able to eliminate anyone yet...but, well, you'll see what'll happen soon enough. As for Courtney, I will say that I'm definitely putting thought into her interactions with both Scott and Gwen.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks, and yeah the Heroes have been pretty great so far both in terms of the game and in their interactions. I'm glad you're looking forward to more Gwen-Courtney fights and Izzy weirdness, and I hope I don't disappoint.

 **link9753:** Yeah, them being the natural choices is pretty much why I decided to eliminate them - Scarlett was an obvious first boot, and Sugar was an obvious person to be victimized by Scott (in a sort of roundabout way). The main antagonist of this season will be clear in time, so for now just sit back and enjoy the show.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Glad to hear it. And...I wouldn't say you're the only one who finds Jasmine's behavior towards Lightning a little much, it's pretty deliberate on my part. Like I told link9753, the season's main antagonist will be clear in time - as will their tactics. That said, I hope you enjoy what happens next.

And that's that for now. I'm sure you all know by now, but **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

The current teams are as follows:

Heroic Hamsters: Ella, Gwen, Harold, Izzy, Jasmine, Lightning, Shawn

Villainous Vultures: Alejandro, Courtney, Justin, Noah, Scott

The Villains are down two players right now, but will they be able to pull out a win regardless? Leeches are about to fly, so I hope you're ready. Enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 3 – Saving Private Leechball**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" The recap montage began with Sugar getting smacked into her team's moat by a spring-loaded board, and was followed by Courtney arguing with Alejandro and Izzy triggering an explosion of Chef's dirty laundry then sprouting multiple arms and using them to burrow into the sand. "Our Heroes and Villains went _digging_ for buried treasure, and uncovered a few _nasty_ surprises." Shawn tackled Jasmine to the ground away from another booby trap only to be flung around by a long metal pole, a garbage bag landed on Courtney, and Chris laughed.

"Scott villained it up big time by playing mind games with the others," Scott was shown putting his arm around Sugar, then talking to a suspicious Jasmine, and finally advising Courtney about Gwen while Alejandro watched from a distance. "Too bad he wasn't able to fool everyone. But although the Heroic Hamsters were victorious once again," the seven heroes were shown cheering and celebrating alongside their completed Statue of Liberty, "Sugar annoyed enough of her teammates," the pageant queen was shown following Justin around to the model's displeasure, then clinging on to Noah as the slacker hung from the lip of their team platform, "and cost them another win," Sugar was shown failing to throw the seventh statue piece across the moat but walking away in ignorance, then denying her mistake once the piece had been retrieved, "to earn her the royal _flush_ from her teammates." The montage ended with Sugar's Flush of Shame, the girl screaming as she circled the drain.

"Twelve competitors remain," Chris told the camera now with him on the dock. "Which one of them will ride the sewer system next? Find out right now, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

An owl hooted as the scene opened on the losers' cabin, crickets chirping in the dark outside and lights shining within. "Man, I can't believe we're back here again," Justin complained as the camera zoomed in to the cabin's left and cut inside to the two beautiful young men in their bunks. "We seriously need to stop losing or my skin's gonna get bruised by these lumpy beds."

"I feel your pain, amigo," Alejandro told him from the higher bunk. "I fear our looks will become tarnished unless our team can win the next challenge."

"I still can't believe we haven't won anything yet," Justin said. "I mean, our team has the better players, right?"

"Not unless you and the two-time pre-merger below me suddenly count as _better_ ," Noah said, the camera moving to the opposite wall to show him lounging on the top bunk with Scott scowling below him. "Seriously, I'm the only one on this pathetic team that's actually _won_ a season, while the Hamsters have Zombie Boy and the Singing Princess. And that's just the _beginning_ of the ways in which we're outgunned."

"Gee, _thanks_ ," Scott said, punching up at the bottom of Noah's bed causing the boy to yelp in pain and bolt upright. Rubbing his back, he looked down at the spring that was now poking out of his mattress and growled. "So what, according to you we're all hosed?"

" _No_ ," Noah replied irritably, "according to _me_ we have actually put _aside_ our arguments and egos if we wanna stand a chance at not getting picked off one by one. It's basic self-preservation." He laid back down on his bed, and the camera panned down to Scott looking thoughtful.

"Pff, easier said than done," he muttered before the shot moved back to the other wall.

Alejandro and Justin shared a look. "Whatever, man, I'm gonna get what beauty sleep I can," the model said, lowering a sleep mask over his eyes and pulling his covers up. His bunkmate, however, remained awake and the camera zoomed in on his look of quiet contemplation.

xxx

"I hate to say it," Alejandro confessed, "but Noah makes a legitimate point. Unless our team finds a way to come together, we _will_ keep losing. And every elimination we go to is another chance for _me_ to be sent home."

xxx

/

The scene cut back outside the cabin doors, and panned to the right onto the darkened window of the girls' side. Inside, Courtney laid alone in the dark in her bed and sighed, her eyes still wide open.

xxx

"Don't get me wrong, I like not having Sugar around," Courtney told the outhouse camera, "but it's just so... _lonely_ in that cabin by myself. I don't like saying it, but I really _do_ miss having Gwen around to talk to. _Scott_ thinks I can't handle patching things up with her and the competition at the same time," she crossed her arms and glared to the side, "but what does _he_ know? He's just a dirty, smelly, _loser_. I can _easily_ handle all of it!"

xxx

Another round of hooting echoed through the night air as the scene moved back to the common area, and the camera panned over to the source of the noise perched on the railing of a second-story spa hotel balcony. " _Sshh_ , sir," the butler suddenly stepped out and told it, causing the owl to cringe sheepishly and utter another, much softer hoot.

A cut inside showed Harold stretching his arms and yawning as he walked through the green-walled, green-draped communal bedroom in his pajamas. He pulled back the checkered sheets of one of several beds with tall, cushioned headboards, and got in.

The music rose suddenly as Lightning vaulted over in his own nightwear with a cry of "Lightning _strikes_!", rolled in mid-air, and landed on his side on the bed beside the nerd. "How was _that_ for a landing, dude?" he asked his teammate.

"In terms of technique, I'd give it a 10," Harold answered with a smile. "But I wouldn't rank it among the best bed landings I've ever seen."

"Pfft, you don't know what you're talkin' about," Lightning scoffed, flopping onto his back with his hands behind his head. "But whatever, Lightning ain't even mad. How could he with digs like _these_?" he smiled, motioning to the room around them.

"True," Harold nodded. "It's hard to feel down when you're living like a king. Or at least a baron."

/

The scene cut to the girls' room, where Ella was humming happily to herself as she walked to her bed in a frilly pink nightgown. She passed by Gwen, already draped in black as she slid beneath her own covers, and looked over at Izzy still in her usual outfit and crouched on all fours on top of her bed. Her roommates watched in silence as the wild child kneaded the bedding with her two hands, then circled around and curl up like a cat.

"She's very _strange_ , but it's nice to know she's enjoying herself don't you think?" Ella told Gwen softly while sitting down on the edge of the empty bed between the goth and Izzy.

"Yeah," Gwen quietly laughed, "the last thing I wanna deal with is _her_ without good night's sleep. I am _not_ looking forward to when we finally lose and have to spend the night in a cabin again."

"I can't say I'm not feeling a bit...," she paused to search for the proper word, " _apprehensive_ about it myself. I expect it to be an adventure sleeping in one of the cabins for my very first time after the bad impression everyone's given me of them."

Gwen snorted. "Believe me, adventure is _right_. I'm almost jealous that Jasmine's on Boney Island right now."

"Oh, I hope she's doing alright," Ella said in concern.

/

An immediate flash and dramatic spike in the music took the scene to the island in question, as ominously foggy and skull-shaped as ever. No less than six grizzly bears were shown gathered around the base of the well-scratched tree, holding hatchets and bottles of ketchup but also bruised and bandaged and missing patches of fur. The camera panned up to the top of the dead tree to show Jasmine sitting unscathed and smiling on the highest branch alongside a squirrel.

"Well, the good news is I'm safe for the time being," she told it. "But the _bad_ news is I couldn't find the invincibility statue," she added with a frown. "I _can't_ let it fall into the wrong hands, like Lightning's or another one of the villains." As she spoke she looked away from the squirrel and pounded her own open palm, giving an opening for the rodent to throw an acorn at her head and chitter mischievously. It stopped however, as the amazon-like survivalist merely turned an angry glare its way rather than lose her balance and fall to the bears below.

/

The music became low and ominous as the scene returned to the Hamster girls, cutting from Ella humming fragmented melodies as she slept peacefully, to Gwen looking almost deliberately corpse-like in her rest. Then the camera panned to the right to show the silhouette of Izzy, bright-eyed and grinning deviously. She cackled lowly...then turned and dove through the back window.

A sudden yawn took the scene to Shawn, sitting near the top of a tall tree with a rope tying his leg to the branch. He blinked sleepily, and the perspective moved over his shoulder to show the view of the spa hotel he had. The ominous music was suddenly replaced by the hectic, jilting leitmotif as the shadowy, giggling form of Izzy darted along the back roof, leaped to the ground, and ran off into the woods.

Shawn stared in the direction she'd gone. "...welp, better be prepared in case she comes back a zombie," he told himself, adjusting his position against the tree trunk. "Hopefully she'll still be _noisy_ so the others hear her coming."

/

The footage flashed ahead to morning, the shot cutting from the spa hotel exterior into the dining hall as classical music began to play. Shawn walked by the front of the table with a wary look and a plate of fruit and eggs in his hands, passing Ella at the left end before reaching Lightning. "Maple _bacon_?!" the uber-jock exclaimed in delight at his breakfast. "Sha-best protein _ever_!" He tipped his plate up so all his bacon slid into his open mouth, and Shawn moved on to Harold, Gwen, and Izzy.

He paused to look them over, earning an odd look from the goth. "Huh, doesn't look like any of you have _turned_ ," he said. "Good. I wasn't looking forward to fighting for my breakfast."

"Who is in this day and age?" Harold asked, earning an odd look from Gwen and Shawn.

"So, Izzy," the scruffy survivalist said, ignoring the dweeb to head to the end of the table, "what were you doing leaving the hotel last night."

The wild child gave him a look of faked innocent confusion. "Whatever do you mean? Izzy does _not_ remember leaving the spa hotel last night." Her demeanor promptly changed, cackling evilly and rubbing her hands together as she hunched over. "But El Maléfico does," she said, "oh sí, sí!"

Shawn and Gwen exchanged an odd and wary look, and the goth shrugged helplessly.

The focus returned to Lightning, Ella, and Harold, as the uber-jock scarfed down another plate of food with several more in front of him. "Umm, Lightning," the singer advised, "I can tell you're enjoying the meal, but you really don't need to eat so _quickly_ , or so _much_."

Finished with his plate Lightning tossed it behind him, and it was caught by the suddenly-appearing butler before it could hit the floor. Once he'd swallowed his mouthful, the jock turned and said "Don't go worrying about the Lightning, girl. He's still fillin' up on _protein_ again after eatin' next to nothin' on Boney Island. Which reminds me, I wonder if, uh," he momentarily blanked on the name, "tall girl is doin' any better."

"She totally is," Harold nodded, "Jasmine's like a master at foraging and junk. Although I doubt there's anything as good as these eggs out there, so maybe we should bring her some breakfast."

"That's...actually a great idea, Harold," Gwen told him. "I bet she'd really appreciate it." Harold grinned.

"Attention campers!" Chris called out without warning over the camp's loudspeakers. "Forest recon in _five_ , over! And to whoever destroyed my stash of hair gel, I had another one that was hidden so _there_!"

Izzy's raucous cackling rose up over the shot of the loudspeaker.

/

The eleven campers were shown walking through the woods in single-file with their respective team logos above them, Heroes in front and Villains behind. "Excuse me, Courtney?" Alejandro told his lone female teammate as the camera focused in on them. "I'd like to apologize for my behavior yesterday," he told her. "My own ego got in the way of seeing how intelligent and beautiful you are. If you'd like to lead the team from here on out, I won't object."

"Well...okay then," Courtney smiled as a short but happy tune played. "I'm glad you recognized that."

xxx

"What I _recognized_ is the fact that if I stay in the background with Courtney in front," Alejandro confessed slyly, "I can keep myself safe while still having some control over the team."

xxx

Alejandro moved on ahead of Courtney, and Scott came up from behind. "Hey there, pretty lady," he greeted, receiving an unamused scowl in return, "just wanted to say that I'm _completely_ behind you being team leader."

"Uhh...thanks?" Courtney replied, taken aback.

xxx

"It's high time I got some allies on this team," Scott told the outhouse camera, "and Courtney's a good place to start."

xxx

"Since there's only five of us," Alejandro explained as the static cut to his confessional, "three is the magic number. And since I already have Justin..."

xxx

"Getting Courtney on my side will help keep me safe from those two _pretty boys_ ," Scott finished in his own confessional spot. "I still gotta work on Noah to be _completely_ sure, though."

xxx

"Yeah, it's pretty _obvious_ that Scott and Alejandro were just trying to flatter me into an alliance," Courtney said, "but who cares? The important thing is that they're not gonna waste time arguing with me, so we actually have a _chance_ of winning today."

xxx

The static cut away this time to show Courtney now walking with Noah, though she seemed to be paying more attention to Gwen who was walking with the other Heroes in front of them.

"Here you are Miss _Popular_ all of a sudden," Noah told his teammate as the camera zoomed in on them, "and you're focusing on your ex-friend? Wow."

"What, you don't think I can have two separate goals either?" Courtney bitterly asked him.

"Meh," Noah shrugged, "I'm just annoyed the others are trying to get on _your_ side when _I'm_ the one who's been preaching teamwork this whole time."

"Hey Courtney?" Justin called out as if on cue.

"Case in point," Noah said dryly as the model came up to them.

"Just wanted to say that I'm really looking forward to working closely with someone as smart and talented as you," he said with a handsome smile and notable eyebrow waggle.

"Thanks," Courtney said with a simple smile of her own as she walked past him.

xxx

"I figure that if Alejandro is trying to get Courtney on our side, I should help out," Justin explained. "That way, I can make her more loyal to _me_ so that when I decide to turn on Al I'll have some back-up."

xxx

A military drumline began to play as the static cut away to the host, now in army helmet and sunglasses. "At ease, soldiers!" he saluted the arriving campers. "Let's all welcome back exiled Hamster, _Jasmine_!" The shot panned to the right, showing Jasmine and Chef driving up in a jeep.

"Uhh, hey Jasmine," Harold greeted nervously after a nudge from Gwen, "how was exile?"

"Err...not too bad?" the survivalist answered a little hesitantly, not looking directly at him as she walked over to rejoin the team. "All the dangerous wild animals reminded me of home, though there was _way_ more food to forage."

Harold seemed to wilt slightly. "Oh...well, if you'd still like something else to eat we smuggled you some of our breakfast," he said with a sheepish grin, pulling a piece of toast out of his pants pocket. The camera panned down the line of Heroes to show them also happily offering more food – some bacon from Gwen, a hard-boiled egg from under Shawn's hat, another piece of toast from Ella, and a bagel from Izzy.

"Score, not gonna turn down the chance to balance out a breakfast," Jasmine said with a smile, swiping the food from her teammates – even Harold, after a moment's hesitation.

"And what did _you_ bring for her, Lightning?" Ella turned and asked sweetly.

The camera panned onto the uber-jock as he wiped his mouth with his arm, then noticed his teammates' stares and froze. "Oh, uh, sorry. Lightning jumped the gun when Jasmine said she'd found food and decided he didn't want his bacon to go to waste."

" _Sure_ ," Jasmine said, pursing her lips and narrowing her eyes at him.

"Welcome to today's experiment with your pain thresholds," Chris interrupted, drawing the campers' attention back as a widescreen television was wheeled over next to him. He paused to laugh in delighted anticipation, and Courtney, Noah, and Alejandro shared a wary look. "Get ready for an ingenious twist on the war movie challenge from season two." Another military drumline began to play.

"There are two weapon caches in the heart of this forest," he said as a close-up of the television showed a panning live feed of a rather nondescript patch of Wawanakwa's forest. The feed soon cut to static, and was replaced by an image of two crates against a radiant background, each bearing a purple-and-cream leech-shaped logo on the side. "The _big_ one is filled with state-of-the-art paintball weaponry," the larger crate on the left moved closer to the camera and moments later a large, high-tech paintball gun slid into view above it. "And the _little_ one has a bunch of cruddy old paintball slingshots," he added, the smaller crate on the right moving closer before a slingshot appeared above it.

Courtney, Noah, Alejandro, and Scott were shown perking up excitedly. "Whoever gets there _first_ gets their pick," the host explained as the shot cut to pensive Ella next to eager Izzy and Lightning, "and, then you've gotta pick off the competition.

"Looking _forward_ to it," Gwen smirked darkly at Courtney, who was standing next to her and now looking rather concerned.

"You get one point for each opponent you splatter," Chris explained. "First team to completely wipe out the opposition wins, and, one of the losers _will_ get a dishonorable discharge tonight. Flush-o- _shame_ style," he told them with a pair of mischievous finger pistols.

"While I _do_ appreciate an actual opportunity to show off my marksmanship skills," Alejandro spoke up, "another paintball challenge seems _oddly_ unoriginal."

"Oh yeah, _that_ ," Chris said, almost sighing in annoyance. "One of the conditions of my parole," he explained, raising a finger to a sharp note in the music, "is that I can't use or be around hard projectiles like paintballs." As he spoke, Chef walked over and out from behind the widescreen. "Sooo, instead, you'll be using...," the shot changed to show the campers watching him, " _leeches_!" To another sharp note Chef held a slimy, squirming leech up close in front of the camera lens, which focused on the worm as the two teams voiced their general disgust.

xxx

"Leeches? _Seriously_?" Justin repeated in shock. "I thought _last_ season was gross, but it doesn't even come close to this! What if they touch my _face_? Or my _hands_? Or my _anything_?" he asked the outhouse camera in deep concern, pointing to his face with both hands.

xxx

"As winners of yesterday's challenge," Chris said, "the Heroes get a full _one-minute_ head start."

The shot cut to the two teams as the five Villains groaned while their more favored seven opponents cheered.

"Ready?" Chris asked as the camera moved back to him and Chef, the larger man now holding a pistol the same purple color as the leeches. "Set!" Chef raised his pistol and fired it with an odd squelching sound as fast-paced challenge music rapidly rose up in the background. Scott was shown eying the fired projectile with suspicion, only to get hit in the forehead with the leech and grunt in pain.

A timer counting down from 1:00 appeared on the television, and the camera pulled back from it as the whooping and hollering Hamsters ran past.

"Okay, I can _not_ be the only one to see how messed up this is," Noah griped. "They're up two players, _and_ they have a head start to get to the big guns? Are you _trying_ to hand them another win?" he asked the host.

Chris shrugged. "Hey, just think of it as motivation to _stop sucking_ ," he answered scathingly. "Seriously, you guys are the _Villains_! You're supposed to be major game threats!"

"So what you're saying," Alejandro said, "is that you're going to keep stacking the deck against us if we _lose_ , making it even harder for us to _win_?"

"Yeah, kinda," the host said forcefully, earning another round of complaints from the five villains.

When it died down, Courtney sighed. "Look, guys," she turned to her teammates, "I don't know how sincere any of you were being earlier, but this just _proves_ that it's time to put aside our differences and work together. Who's with me?"

"Yeah!" Alejandro, Justin, and Scott raised their arms and cheered, Scott finally prying the leech off his forehead in his exuberance. Noah raised his arm as well, though he didn't seem nearly excited about it.

xxx

"Okay, that went better than expected," Courtney happily told the outhouse camera. "Now that the boys are all behind me, I can lead the team to victory. And by showing that I can get a bunch of cutthroat villains to change their ways and work together, maybe I can impress Gwen too!"

xxx

"Hey, not to spoil the thing I've been trying to get us to do since day one or anything," Noah said, "but we're still at a pretty big disadvantage right now."

"Perhaps," Alejandro said. "But I wouldn't be so sure that the Heroes are as unified a team as they've seemed so far. We'll find a crack _somewhere_."

The shot cut back to the widescreen television as the timer counted down to 0:04. "Villains," Chris called out as the camera panned to him and Chef, "you're up in three!" Chef raised his leech-gun. "Two! One!"

A gunshot rang through the air, and a grin was wiped off Scott's face as a second leech landed on his head. "Hey!" he exclaimed in annoyance, the host laughing while his assistant blew the smoke from the pistol. The two men high-fived, and the shot pulled back to refocus on the Villainous Vultures beginning their race into the woods.

/

"Alright, time for Lightning to win again, baby!" the uber-jock cheered as the scene cut to the Heroic Hamsters, briefly showing all seven before zooming in on Lightning and Jasmine at the front of their pack.

"Uhh, you _do_ realize you weren't the reason we won the last challenge, right?" Jasmine asked with a hint of annoyance. "Don't try and act like it was _your_ accomplishment."

"Lightning didn't!" he protested. "He's just excited cause we're gonna be on a winning streak!"

"Hmm," Jasmine pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes in doubt, causing Lightning to raise an eyebrow at her in confusion.

xxx

"Man what is her sha- _problem_?" Lightning asked the confessional camera, briefly looking at the side wall in irritation. "Lightning's been keepin' himself in check and actin' like a member of Team Hero! He does _not_ deserve that kind of disrespect. But," he straightened up and pounded his open palm, "he is _not_ gonna try to argue with her. He's just gonna keep actin' hero-like and prove her dead sha- _wrong_."

xxx

"Umm, excuse me?" Ella spoke up from the back of the group with Harold, "but where exactly _is_ the heart of the forest?"

"Good question," Shawn answered, the shot panning ahead to him, Gwen, and Izzy. "One of us should get a better vantage point and look around. I-"

"I'll do it, Shawn!" the camera panned ahead as Jasmine volunteered enthusiastically. "I'll scurry up a tree and be right back down before you know it."

"Uh, okay then," the scruffy survivalist replied with a small smile.

The taller survivalist immediately jumped up and grabbed the lowest bow of a tall tree, and began to climb as her teammates gathered around the trunk.

"Girl, you better be as quick as you said you'd be!" Lightning called up to her. "Not that Lightning doesn't get the whole, uhh, _navigation_ dealie you're goin' for, but he doesn't want us to lose our lead by stayin' in one place for too long."

Jasmine stopped climbing to grunt indignantly and glare down at him. "I know what I'm doing, Lightning," she told him. "I don't need _you_ telling me how to work."

"Whoa, hey, now's not the time to be arguing," Shawn said, stepping up next to Lightning with his eyes on Jasmine and his hands raised in a placating gesture. "Let's just find the heart of the forest and move on."

"R-right," Jasmine said awkwardly before climbing again. The camera panned down to the other Heroes looking up in patient confidence, save for Lightning for turned a confused brow from his unseen new rival to the odd young man next to him.

Seconds later, Jasmine landed on the ground next to them with a powerful thud. "C'mon, Hamsters, this way!" she commanded, waving an arm for her team to follow. The camera zoomed out to show that they were at a fork in their path, and Jasmine lead the Hamsters down the left path into the background and out of sight.

The shot cut back a little ways the other way to show the five Villains arriving at nearly the same spot the Heroes had just stopped at. "Okay, looks like they're taking the left path," Courtney said. "If we wanna have a _chance_ of getting to the big crate first we're gonna have to hustle down the other path and hope Jasmine missed a shortcut."

"Go Vultures!" Alejandro cheered as he and his teammates were shown racing down the other part of the fork in the road.

"Let's kick some _butt_!" Scott added.

/

"Hey, so," Izzy asked as she slowed down to match pace with Ella, "couldn't you, like, sing us all a song and have like all the forest animals come out and take us to the crates?"

"Umm...I suppose," Ella answered after a moment, "but as much as I _love_ all the woodland creatures I don't think they'd be able to get us there fast enough."

"Aww, too bad," the wild child frowned.

xxx

"Izzy is...hard to describe," Ella confessed, briefly tapping her chin in thought. "Sometimes she's an absolute _joy_ to be around, and her enthusiasm is positively _infectious_. But other times, well..."

She was interrupted by a sudden pounding on the outhouse door. "Hey, who's in there?" Izzy asked from outside. "If you're not out in ten seconds, I'm totally gonna come in, okay?"

Ella raised her hand between her mouth and the door and whispered "Sometimes, it's hard to understand _exactly_ what she's thinking."

xxx

The scene cut to a large open area where the two weapon crates stood, the smaller closer to the left while the larger sat on a small hill further right.

"Alright, let's grab the big one!" Jasmine called out as she and Lightning led the other Heroes into the clearing.

"Not so fast!" Courtney countered suddenly, the perspective shifting to show her and the other Villains charging out of the woods at another angle. Their sudden appearance caused Jasmine to look to the side in surprise, which in turn caused her to stumble on a small rock jutting out of the hill, thus leading to Lightning crashing into her from behind.

With the two brawny Hamsters on the ground and their teammates suddenly torn between helping and continuing on, it wasn't long before the Vultures reached the coveted cache of advanced weaponry.

"Hah!" Scott laughed as the five skidded into place between their rival and the crate. "Not so tough now, are ya?"

"Great job, now we're stuck with the small one," Jasmine bitterly said to Lightning, both now back on their feet and following their teammates back towards the other crate.

"Don't blame Lightning, he ain't the one who tripped!" the uber-jock countered.

Shawn was the first to reach their crate, but it was Izzy who gleefully leaped over it to pry the lid off and land painfully on her back on the other side. Only sparing her a moment's glance, Shawn reached into the crate and pulled out a bucket overflowing with leeches. "Jeez, these better be the regular kind of leeches and not the _zombie_ kind," he said in disgust.

"I don't know, I think both would be kinda _cool_ ," Izzy said, picking up a leech bucket of her own.

The shot zoomed out to show her teammates exchanging odd looks, now holding buckets and slingshots as well. "Well, it probably _would_ make up for the relative crumminess of our stuff," Harold spoke up.

"They...certainly aren't the _cutest_ things, are they?" Ella said, holding up her leech bucket with a wary smile.

A triumphant tune played as the scene cut back to the Villains, celebrating their half-win around the larger crate. "Finally, we've actually _won_ something!" Alejandro said excitedly.

The camera cut to a close-up of the leech logo on the side of their crate, pulling back as Scott punched it hard enough for the paneling to fall apart, revealing the weaponry within. There were two parts to it – a large rack that held enough multi-barreled leech guns for the entire team, and a cannon with the leech logo on the side.

" _I'll_ take the cannon!" Scott, Justin, and even Noah declared at once with wide eyes and eager grins. "No, _I'll_ take the cannon!" the three boys argued, turning towards each other.

"We use it as a team," Alejandro suggested. "Right, Courtney?" he asked their _de facto_ team leader, currently standing next to him.

"Hmm...I don't know," she answered, bringing a finger to her chin in thought. "It _is_ a lot of firepower, but I'm not sure if it's worth it."

"Aww, c'mon, Courtney," Justin protested. "Just think how _satisfying_ it'll be use it on the Hamsters!"

He was promptly pulled aside by Alejandro. "Listen, bromigo," the charmer whispered, "in times like these it's better to work _with_ the desires of the person whose trust you seek, rather than try to sway them to your desires."

"Ohhhh, I get it," Justin nodded in realization before clearing his throat and stepping back towards Courtney. "On second thought, let's just go with what _you_ think is best, Court," he told her with a handsome smile.

She stared at him for a moment, then smiled back. "Okay then. To be clear, it's not that I think the cannon _couldn't_ be useful, but it seems too bulky and slow to lug around with us. Whoever had it would just be a sitting duck."

"Hmm...good point," Noah admitted after looking at the cannon and rubbing his chin in thought. "Fun though it may be, it's basically a giant target on our backs. And we can't exactly afford to lose anyone when we're outnumbered."

"But can we allow the Hamsters to get their hands on it instead?" Scott asked.

"Who cares?" Courtney scoffed. "They'd just have the same problems that we would've had."

"So...onward, without the cannon!" Alejandro said, raising a fist that Courtney, Justin, and Scott quickly mirrored.

"Onward!" they cried.

"Yeah, onward!" Noah added, slightly awkwardly.

xxx

"Okay, I know I wanted us to work as a team," he explained in the confessional, "but them all transparently vying for Courtney's attention is _kinda_ making me worried. I'm gonna have to find a way to get some _control_ over this train, and fast."

xxx

"Looks like you got more than you bargained for," Chris laughed, the scene moving to him viewing the confessional footage on one of several monitors in his control tent. He paused the feed, then turned to face the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "The Villains are off to quite the start, but, which team will make it to the finish? Find out when we come back, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed with a pan to the left along a forest path, landing on the Heroes walking through with leech-buckets and slingshots in hand.

"Okay, I'm actually surprised the Villains managed to pull that off," Gwen commented from the middle of the pack. "Beating them and their machine guns is gonna be hard when all we have are _these_ ," she added, looking at her weapon.

"Not necessarily," Shawn said, looking back at her from the front of their line. "Them having superior firepower just means we need to be more careful. As long as we stay quiet and out of sight, we _should_ be able to pick them off before they know we're there. Remember, there's more of _us_ than there are of _them_."

"Totally," Harold chimed in, the camera panning over to him near the back of the group. "As long as we each take out one of them, it won't even matter if we get taken out ourselves because we'll still have two people leftover."

"So, what's our game plan?" Lightning asked.

"Weren't you listening?" Jasmine scolded. "Shawn just said we have to stay _hidden_."

"Sha- _duh_ ," the jock replied testily, "Lightning wanted to know if there was more than that!"

"We should probably split up," Shawn answered. "That way if the Villains find one of us, they won't find _all_ of us."

A cackle brought his attention to the back of their group, just in time to see Izzy run off and leap into a bush. "Well, looks like _she's_ already getting into it," Gwen commented.

"Lightning's gonna get into it too," the uber-jock said. "Sha-later! You guys don't get shot now, y'hear?" He gave them a curt wave before dashing off ahead, Jasmine rolling her eyes as he left.

Shawn shrugged. "Guess I'll get to climbing," he told his remaining teammates. "That way, I'll be able to get the _drop_ on anyone who comes by." He turned and jumped up into the branches of a nearby tree, and the camera moved onto the cluster of the other Heroes.

"Uhh," Harold sheepishly stepped forward to his former friend, "Jasmine? I was wondering-"

The survivalist wasn't paying him any attention, her smiling gaze directed towards the tree Shawn had disappeared into. "Wait up, Shawn, I'll come with you," she called out before climbing up as well.

Harold sighed, and Gwen put a hand on his shoulder. "C'mon," she told him, "let's get moving before someone finds us."

"Agreed," Ella chimed in. "I think I'd feel safer if we stayed as small group," she explained. "So we can help each other out."

"Yeah, sounds like a plan...," the dweeb said unenthusiastically.

/

A deep note played as the footage skipped ahead, showing Gwen warily peeking over a bush before hesitantly walking through with her slingshot at the ready. She was followed by Ella and Harold, the former looking as on-edge as the goth was while the latter still looked downtrodden.

"I can't believe Jasmine blanked me back there," he said. "I thought after what happened at breakfast that she might finally be warming up to me, but apparently she isn't."

"You just gotta keep trying to talk to her yourself," Gwen told him, still looking around the area. "She knows you're sorry about last season, but for whatever reason that just isn't enough for her."

"Yeah, that's basically what Zoey said too," Harold nodded sadly, "but like I've been saying it just isn't as straightforward as trying to talk to her."

"Really?" Gwen asked, raising an eyebrow as both she and Ella looked at their companion. "What happened with her, anyway?"

The nerd shrugged. "Hard to say. She ended up spending most of the year trying to get Jasmine to talk to me again. To be honest she ended up obsessing over it even more than _I_ was, until eventually she just kinda snapped. Apparently she thought both of us were being unreasonably stubborn."

"Ya don't say," Gwen said, sharing a look with Ella.

"Uh-huh," Harold nodded. "Plus, she got super mad at me when I said I wasn't completely over Jasmine yet. I don't really get _why_ , though. I'm just glad she decided to take a break and stay off the season, I was getting kind of worried about her."

"It's not really my place to say," Ella interrupted, "but I think I have an idea what's going on with her. But to be honest I'm more worried about Jasmine. She seems _far_ too disapproving of Lightning, especially since he hasn't really done anything wrong this season. I'm worried she might do something she'll regret later."

Harold nodded, and Gwen seemed to suddenly perk up then rub her chin in thought. "I guess that's just how she is," the dweeb said. "But Lightning's been surprisingly cool these past couple of days, so I'm sure Jasmine will figure that out soon. And hopefully one of us will figure out how to get her to forgive me, too."

"Hmm," Gwen said, "Jasmine seems to be _really_ focused on the past lately. Being sorry isn't enough, and just talking to her isn't gonna work either. Unless you can do something to erase what happened last year, or take her mind off it somehow, I don't know if things are ever gonna bet better for you."

Harold blinked, then looked down and rubbed his chin in thought.

/

The music became deep and tense as the scene flashed over to the Villains, now stalking through the forest in a single group.

"Okay people," Courtney said in a low voice, "we _need_ to decide on a strategy."

"Watch and learn, amigo," Alejandro whispered to Justin before clearing his throat and stepping up alongside the Vultures' leader. "Fortunately, between the _two_ of us we should be able to figure out what each of the Heroes will try to do. Know thy enemy, as they say."

"True...," Courtney considered while Noah glared in annoyance.

"For instance, Shawn is likely to prove most difficult. He's at home in these woods. If we are to find him, we must check the trees," Alejandro explained confidently.

"That probably goes for Jasmine, too," Courtney replied in thought.

Alejandro smiled and nodded. "Lightning, on the other hand, I expect will show him _self_ soon enough. Ella...well if she isn't with one of the others then we'll just have to wait for her to sing."

"Hmm...I don't expect Harold to accomplish much," Courtney said after a bit of thought.

"Yeah, because you _totally_ went head-to-head with him in the finale last season," Noah interrupted dryly, earning a smirk from Scott.

Courtney just gave him a stern and silent look before continuing. "Gwen is...well, pretty smart," she said with a bit of hesitation, "and as for Izzy...who even _knows_ what _she'll_ try. Probably something _reckless_."

"What, like an ambush or something?" Scott asked.

The Villains stopped suddenly, eyes going wide as a tense note was struck in the background music, opening for a more fast-paced theme. " _Scatter_!" the farmer cried out, and the panicked Villains jumped to the sides – Courtney, Alejandro, and Justin to the left; Noah and Scott to the right – just before a leech landed in the center of where their team had just stood.

The camera panned up to show Izzy swinging down on a vine, a pair of right arms reloading her slingshot while a left held onto her bucket. "Time to face your _doom_ , birdies, at the many hands of El Maléfico!" she announced as she landed, the shot briefly cutting to the stunned looks on the faces of her opponents, now looking out from behind bushes on opposite sides of the path they'd been traveling on.

A close-up was shown of an empty bucket hitting the ground, Scott and Noah were shown gasping, and the camera cut back to Izzy. She had sprouted a countless number of arms, each holding one of her leeches, and began to spin in place and launch the blood-sucking ammunition in all directions. Her foes quickly ducked down into cover to avoid the onslaught, but soon reappeared with their guns in hand. They opened fire.

In seconds the intense music wound down and the number of leeches flying over their heads decreased, leading Scott and Noah to hesitantly stop firing and stand back up.

The shot cut to Izzy, cackling to herself and covered in leeches. She wobbled for a moment, then fell flat on her face.

"Wow, that was pretty tense," Justin commented as he and his teammates stepped back out into the open to get a better look at their 'kill'.

A twig snapped, the music spiked, and Justin yelped. He grabbed the closest thing to him – Alejandro – and swung him around as a human shield. Gwen, Harold, and Ella were shown eagerly aiming their slingshots in the very bushes three of the villains had just used as cover, and opened fire. The charmer screamed as he was hit with all three leeches, and his fellow pretty boy let him go to drop to his knees. "Sorry man," Justin said in a rather unapologetic tone as their teammates started to return fire. "It was like a reflex or something." He lifted his own gun back up and fire off a few rounds, and the camera panned over to the Hamsters as Ella fell with a lyrical scream and a leech on her back while Gwen and Harold retreated into the woods.

Chris' laughter rang over the camp loudspeakers, which were shown vibrating with his mirthful message. "That's two points for the Villains and _one_ for the Heroes! The Heroes still have the numbers advantage, though."

"C'mon, we gotta find Gwen and Harold," Courtney said as the four villains regrouped. "Let's split up to cover more ground." None of the boys voiced an objection, and the team ran off to the left into the woods.

/

The footage flashed ahead to Gwen running through the undergrowth under a few scattered leech-shots, looking back over her shoulder and prompting the camera to pan back to show Courtney in hot pursuit. Gwen turned her gaze back forward, but in doing so tripped and fell with a startled yelp. The shot cut in close overhead to show her lying on the ground clutching her right ankle and gritting her teeth in pain, her slingshot to the side with a couple leeches squirming away from it.

Courtney arrived in seconds, and stood over her friend as she caught her breath.

"What are you waiting for?" the goth asked accusingly. "You've caught me, so just get it over with."

"I...I don't wanna shoot you," Courtney told her. "You're hurt."

"Well you've never had a problem with hurting me before!" Gwen replied with a bitter laugh. "We _all_ know you only care about winning."

"That's...that's not true!" Courtney frowned anxiously. "I care about other things, too!" She smiled weakly, then dropped her gun and reached out to take Gwen's hand.

The goth eyed it in wary shock, but hesitantly reached out for it. The camera zoomed in on their hands as they approached one another...until Gwen's was shot with a leech. She recoiled it with a cry of pain as the shot zoomed back out, showing a concerned and aghast Courtney standing up and looking back to see Scott approaching with a devious smirk and a smoking gun barrel.

"Gee, Court," he said with a tone suggesting blatant sarcasm, "great job betraying the team by trying to help one of our _enemies_." He kept his gaze locked onto Courtney's. "It sure is _lucky_ that I came along when I did, otherwise we would've lost for sure."

Gwen grunted in disgust. "Figures," she said bitterly, tugging at the leech on her hand. "Next time you try to trick me into thinking you're a better person, make sure your partner isn't so transparently _evil_."

"But...that's not...," Courtney stammered before growling to herself.

xxx

"Ooh, that Scott's gonna _pay_ for this!" she confessed.

xxx

Scott opened the next confessional with a snicker. "Man, she sure is _angry_. Too bad for her I just got me some good blackmail material." He snickered again.

xxx

Courtney raised a finger and opened her mouth as if to scold her grinning teammate, but before she could begin she was hit in the back of the head with a leech. She dropped to her knees with a cry of disgust, and the camera panned to the left to show Harold. "Boo yah," he said, pumping his fist and running away.

"Hey guys!" Scott cupped his mouth with one hand and yelled out. "I found the dork!"

He took off running after Harold, with Justin and Noah running out of the bushes moments after to follow. "It's about time," Justin commented as the two passed by the fallen girls, only Noah sparing a glance their way.

The music rose up again as the scene cut to the dweeb running through the wood, easily ducking and dodging and weaving and twirling around every single leech fired his way. "Ha hah!" he laughed triumphantly.

"Coulda told you this was gonna happen," Noah told his teammates as the shot panned back to the villainous boys. "Too bad nobody asked!"

"Dude, who cares," Justin told him as they fired off another few rounds. "All that matters now is figuring out how to hit him, or something."

"Well, seeing how I know him better than anyone else on the _team_ ," Noah began.

"Hey look, Jasmine's _totally_ a sitting duck!" Scott called out suddenly, causing the nerd they were pursuing to gasp in shock, look back over his shoulder, and slam into a tree. He was promptly hit in the back and side of the face with several leeches, and fell over with a pained moan.

The music faded back out as the three villains came to a stop near their latest 'kill', and Chris came over the loudspeaker again. "The point count has doubled, with the Villains leading 4 to 2! This means the teams are tied with three members remaining each, so it's still anyone's game!"

/

"Well that's not good," Jasmine commented as the scene cut to her and Shawn sitting in the branches of a tree.

"Who do you think is left besides us?" Shawn asked.

"Hard to say. Probably someone who was able to stay out of sight like we have," Jasmine answered.

"So...Gwen, or Harold maybe?" her scruffy companion, who noticed her stiffen slightly upon hearing the second name. He chuckled. "Y'know, it's kinda funny that the first time we met you were concerned about _him_ forgiving _you_ , and now it seems _you_ don't wanna forgive _him_."

"It's...I don't know, _complicated_ ," Jasmine explained, looking down at the slingshot in her lap as a slow, sad melody began to play. "After Harold lost last season I just couldn't think of him as anything other than the guy who took the million away from me and handed it to Noah for a _really_ stupid reason. I ended up watching the season over and over again to figure out what I did wrong, and even watched the other seasons for comparison. But that just made me miss what I'd had with Harold even _more_. And when Zoey started trying to get me to talk to him again, I just...I didn't take it well. How _dare_ she think things could go back to the way they were?"

Shawn frowned in concern, and put a hand on her shoulder. "I ended said a bunch of things to her that I regret now," Jasmine continued, "and I might've ruined another friendship because of it. But even then, I just can't bring myself to forgive him. At least not if he keeps going through someone else to do it."

"So...what _would_ get you to speak to him again?" Shawn asked curiously.

Jasmine sighed. "I have _no idea_."

"...that's pretty heavy," he replied. "Wish I knew what to say, but this really isn't my area of expertise."

She uttered a short laugh. "Yeah. That's more like pantsing a gang of fake vampires, right?"

Shawn laughed as well, though his had a slightly odd quality to it. "Yeah. How, uh, how did you know about that?"

Before Jasmine could answer their attention was drawn to the sound of running below them. The music suddenly became tense again as a quick-pan down and to the left showed Lightning running along with a cocky grin on his face. "Haha! Can't catch me, ya sha- _losers_!" he taunted loudly, easily dodging the flurry of leeches fired at him.

"What is he _doing_?" Jasmine scowled, the shot cutting back to her and Shawn. "We were supposed to stay hidden! Now we've gotta go bail him out of this."

Shawn rubbed his chin in thought as he watched the off-screen jock lead their opponents toward the tree the two survivalists had hidden in. He suddenly perked up in realization, but as he and the camera turned back to Jasmine the girl dropped down from their branch. "No, wait!" he said, though it was too late.

The shot cut to the base of the tree as Lightning reached it, only to stop as Jasmine suddenly dropped down behind him with a thunderous crash. Her sudden appearance gave the Villains pause, and she used the opportunity to fire a leech at Noah, hitting him in the mouth.

"Aggh! Let go of my _lip_!" he said, his voice slightly muffled by the parasite he was trying to pull off.

The focus moved back to the two Heroes as Jasmine grabbed Lightning by the arm. "What do you think you're doing?" she hissed. "We were supposed to stay out of _sight_ , remember?"

"But Lightning's no good at that stuff!" the jock explained by way of protest. "So he wanted to lead 'em all to you and Shawn so you could take 'em out easy!"

She and Lightning were pelted with leeches.

"Fat lot of good _that_ did you," Scott smirked as he and Justin approached the two angry Heroes. "Thanks for the easy targets, though."

"It's now 6 points to 3!" Chris announced from an unseen loudspeaker, causing Scott and Justin to look up and smile. "Only _one_ Hero remains standing!"

"Now we just gotta find Zombie Boy," Scott told his teammate.

"Hold on," Justin said, holding his chin in thought, "didn't Alejandro say we should look for him in the trees?"

The two boys looked at one another for a moment, then as one exclaimed " _The tree!_ " They looked to the tree that Lightning and Jasmine, now shocked, were standing under, and the camera panned up to show Shawn watching them from above.

"Uh-oh," he gulped. "Time to get moving," he said as he got to his feet, ran along the branch, and leaped from it to the next tree.

"Get him!" Scott cried out, pointing to their final quarry as Justin took aim and shot. The shot zoomed out to show them pursuing Shawn as he hopped from tree to tree, the music rising in pace and intensity.

"Gotta hide, gotta hide!" the survivalist said to himself, leaping from a branch just before a hail of leeches struck it.

"C'mon, man, you can't run forever!" Justin called up to him.

"I can try!" Shawn replied as he jumped to the next tree.

"This isn't _working_ ," Scott grumbled, lowering his weapon and speeding up ahead of his oblivious teammate.

The camera shifted so that it was looking up at the final Hero leaping from tree, then cut outward to show Scott right under him. The farmer finally raised his leechball gun again, aiming it not at Shawn but the tree in front of him.

He fired, the shot cut to Shawn, and the footage slowed down as he made his jump. He looked down in mid-jump, just in time to see Scott's leeches fly up and intercept him.

Shawn landed on the next branch with leeches stuck to his legs and butt.

"This just in," Chris announced as the music turned victorious, "with a final score of 7 to 3, the Villains _win_! And strangely, it's because neither team really acted like you'd think they would," he added with a laugh and Scott and Justin high-fived.

The shot cut back to Lightning and Jasmine, now free of leeches but glaring at one another. "This was _your_ fault!" they each accused.

/

The ceremony theme started strong as the footage skipped ahead to the classic nighttime shot of Wawanakwa, quickly cutting in to the Heroes' first time at the campfire together – Gwen and Ella and Izzy in the back row; Harold and Shawn and Jasmine and Lightning in the front.

"Welcome to your first marshmallow ceremony, Hamsters," Chris greeted as the camera zoomed in then panned to him. "It's time to vote. Vultures, sit back and enjoy the show for once." He nodded towards the Peanut Gallery, the shot cutting over to show Alejandro, Justin, and Noah in the bottom tier with Scott grinning at Courtney above.

"What do _you_ want?" she hissed at him.

"Nothing, just wondering what you're gonna tell the others about what you did with _Gwen_ ," the farmer whispered deviously. "Are you gonna come clean about how you didn't wanna take down one of the _Heroes_ , Miss Leader? Or are you gonna lie and say you were working with _me_ to trick her? I'll back you up either way, but I don't think _Al's_ gonna like it."

Courtney just glared at him fiercely. "Who says I have to do _either_ ," she replied with a quiet huff.

"Then I'll just spill the beans myself," Scott told her, causing her to growl at him under her breath.

xxx

"Courtney's quite the package," Scott confessed, leaning against the outhouse wall with a cocky smile and whittling a piece of wood. "Cute, bossy, _and_ easily riled up. Still, Pappy always said to get _away_ from women like that before they _really_ get angry, so it's time I made my exit."

xxx

"Votes are in!" the host announced to a single low beat, standing by with Chef holding the tray of six marshmallows. "But, before I announce our _loser_ du jour," another deep note played as he took the tray form his assistant, "I need a Vulture to volunteer for exile."

"I'll do it!" Scott said immediately, drawing the camera over to show him standing up eagerly with his hand raised. His teammates looked at him with a mixture of shock and suspicion, and he briefly leaned down to Courtney. "I'll give you some time to _think_ ," he whispered, earning another angry growl before walking away with a chuckle.

"'Kay," Chris shrugged before nodding to his assistant.

The hulking man was shown escorting Scott away from his teammates, the camera focusing in on the boys in the bottom row.

"Pretty obvious why _he_ volunteered," Noah said dryly.

"He _is_ fairly transparent," Alejandro commented dismissively. Justin looked at him in confusion. "The invincibility statue, amigo. Remember?"

"Oh, _thaaaat_ ," the model said in sudden realization as the music reached a trilling peak. "Sneaky sneaky," he added with a smirk.

"Alrighty then," Chris said. "Onwards, and _flush_ wards. The following Heroes are _safe_ ," he said, picking up the first marshmallow and tossing it to the losing team. "Gwen." The goth caught hers with a cool smile. "Harold." The nerd raised a hand to snatch his from the air, only to miss and have it bounce off his glasses. "Ella, aaaand _Shawn_." Both caught their prizes easily.

"Izzy, Jasmine, and Lightning, all three of you had votes against you," Chris explained as the bottom three were shown reacting with shock. "Izzy, your ambush was a complete failure. Plus, you're kinda weirding people out a little more than usual." The wild child immediately started rubbing her hands together and cackling evilly. "Yeah, like that," Chris told her.

"Jasmine, your decidedly _non_ -heroic grudge against Lightning caused both of you, and Shawn, to get shot losing the challenge for your team," the host continued, prompting the jock to cross his arms and smile smugly at the girl next to him. "And Lightning, you're just the odd man out who's been annoying some of his teammates." Lightning dropped his cocky expression, and it was Jasmine's turn to smirk smugly.

"Only _two_ of you are safe," Chris said, holding up the penultimate marshmallow as another deep note was struck. "The next marshmallow goes to... _Izzy_."

"Viva El Maléfico!" she yelled, raising a second pair of arms while her first caught her treat.

"And tonight's loser is...," Chris said, the music finally reaching its tensest point, the close-up cutting from the host to the sweating jock, then panning over to nervous Jasmine. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked over to see it belonging to Shawn, and the two shared an anxious smile. The camera panned again to show Harold watching them, and nodding solemnly. The shot cut back to the host.

" _Jasmine_."

"NO!"

Nearly everyone present gasped, and the shot cut to the source of the objection – not the loser herself, but rather Harold. He was now standing, and took a step forward while his teammates gaped in shock. "Chris, I volunteer for elimination in Jasmine's place," he declared.

"Harold, what are you _doing_?" the named loser asked, her eyes wide.

"I'm setting things right," he turned and told her. "Jasmine, last year I tried to steal your heart but all I stole was your chance at the million. Tonight, I wanna return that chance to you." He turned back and gave Chris an expectant look.

"Hey, no complaints here," the host smiled ominously.

Harold nodded. "My fellow Heroes," he turned back around again to address his stunned ex-teammates, "it was an honor competing alongside you. And Shawn," he stepped over to the scruffy young man looking at him in confusion, "I leave Jasmine to you."

"Uhhh...," was all he could say before Harold turned his attention to the girl he'd just saved.

"Goodbye, Jasmine," he told her. "I hope you can find the happiness I was never able to give you."

She stood up and hugged him. "The same to you, mate," she said, a few tears starting to well up. "But you don't have to do this."

"Yes, I do," Harold replied. "I came here to make things right with you, and this is the only way I could think of. It...worked, right?" he asked sheepishly.

"Yeah, it did," Jasmine answered with a smile and a single, pitiful laugh. "I'm sorry for causing you and Zoey and everyone else so much grief with my stubbornness."

"Don't worry about it," Harold said. "I'm just glad to have my friend back."

They broke the hug, and the shot zoomed out as Harold started to walk away and all six of his former teammates waved him off sadly. Lightning looked down guiltily at the marshmallow in his hand...then looked back up as Chris stepped forward, halting the goodbye and causing the music to shift into something much eerier.

"But, before we get _flushing_ , I wanna do a little _reshuffling_ ," he said to the Heroes' surprise. "Today, one _Villain_ acted more like a Hero. And one _Hero_ acted more like a Villain. And since Jasmine's not going home, she and _Courtney_ can pack their bags and switch their teams."

All the campers gasped. "How is _she_ a _Hero_?" Noah objected from the Peanut Gallery as the sombre farewell theme began to play.

"And how is _Jasmine_ more villainous than El Maléfico?" Izzy added.

"Jasmine I already explained," Chris said, "but Courtney's surprising heroics came in the form of rallying her team behind her and earning their first win. Plus, a certain something _else_ that I'd rather keep a secret right now," he added with a crafty chuckle that startled Courtney as she rose from her seat. "So, y'know, get moving already!"

With a heavy sigh, Jasmine stood up. She waved a sad goodbye to her shocked fellow survivalist, then walked towards the Peanut Gallery. She exchanged another sad and silent look with Harold, and came face to face with Courtney. "Umm...good luck?" the former villainess told her with an awkward smile.

"You too, I guess," Jasmine replied halfheartedly before the two girls moved on to sit with their new teams. Jasmine glumly took a seat in the back row of the Peanut Gallery under the scrutinizing gazes of Alejandro, Justin, and Noah; while Courtney hesitantly took up a seat next to Gwen.

"So...I guess we're on the same team again, huh?" she said hopefully. Gwen just crossed her arms and looked away determinedly. Courtney sighed.

xxx

"Well...I guess now I'll have a better chance to talk to Gwen," Courtney told the outhouse camera. "At least, if she and the others don't vote me _out_ first."

xxx

The sombre music started over as the footage skipped ahead to the host and Heroes gathered together on the dock. "Any final words?" Chris asked the nerd currently floating in the Flush of Shame.

"Farewell, Total Drama All-Stars," he said dramatically. "I came, I saw, I made things right. What more could I ask for?"

He was answered by a faint beep and the toilet's flush.

"So long, Geekzilla," Chris said once Harold's arms disappeared into the swirling, splashing water. The series' capstone theme began to play, and he turned to smile at the camera. "Tune in next time, for more sweet, sweet mayhem right here, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

A mystical Middle Eastern-sounding tune began to play as the scene opened on an unusual sewer system – signboards filled with hieroglyphics lined the walls, and several support pillars bore the image of a mummy at their tops.

Harold suddenly dropped from an open pipe in the ceiling amongst some thick and almost sludgy water, but he landed on pavement and the water quickly drained away. He spent a second or two hacking and catching his breath, then straightened his glasses and looked around. "Where am I?" he asked, turning around and spotting the hieroglyphics behind him. "Huh, wasn't expecting to to end up in Egypt when I sacrificed myself," he commented, scratching his head. "Maybe it's fitting."

It was then that he heard the skittering and chittering coming from all sides, and the camera pulled back as he whipped back around to reveal scarab beetles on every pipes and wall. "N-n-nice scarabs," he said in rising panic, backing away from the growing swarm.

"HEEEEEEELLLPPP!" he screamed, and the camera panned up to a manhole cover in the ceiling, light streaming in through its cracks and holes.

A familiar female voice gasped, and something moved to block the outside light coming in to the sewer. "Hey, he's in here!" she called out. "Quick, help me pry this open!"

The camera panned back down to Harold, his eyes clenched shut and his hands up defensively as the scarabs closed in around him. The shot zoomed in as he whimpered in fear...and then was suddenly pulled upward.

"Whoa, thanks, you saved me!" he said in relief, the camera immediately cutting to him landing on a sandy street next to an open manhole cover.

"No problem," his first savior giggled, and the camera pulled back to finally reveal her as Zoey, standing with Lindsay on what seemed like a busy Egyptian sidewalk.

"Zoey? Why are you here?" Harold asked, standing up and dusting himself off with an excited smile on his face. "Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"It's a long story," Zoey explained.

" _Very_ long," Lindsay added with an emphatic nod.

"So...what happened to you? I was shocked when I heard you got voted out so quickly," Zoey asked, her smile fading into a look of concern.

Harold nodded. "Yeah, well, it was kinda my choice," he explained. "It was actually gonna be Jasmine who eliminated, but I stepped in to save her and _finally_ managed to make up for last season."

"Seriously?!" Zoey gasped in excitement.

Harold nodded proudly. "Yup. Also, I think you were right about her and-"

He was cut off when she hugged him. "Oh Harold, I am _so_ proud of you for finally figuring this out!"

She kissed him on the lips.

He babbled slightly as he fainted, a dopey grin on his face.

"...Harold?" Zoey asked in concern as his body became limp in her arms.

"Aww, I think he really likes you!" Lindsay cooed.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Some plots burn long and strong, while others flare up quickly and burn away to ash. Harold's time on the season is a case in point; rather than drag things out with him and Jasmine I opted to resolve things quickly and dramatically. Thus, while it pains me to say it, Harold is the first Hero to be eliminated from the game. But hey - things seem to finally be going his way, at least in other respects.

Interestingly, even in the universe where he won season four, Harold still would've been eliminated at around this time (or possibly sooner). In that case, though, it would have been his own winner-induced arrogance that did him in by annoying his teammates.

Another piece of trivia I'd like to share are the votes for this episode. I wasn't able to show it in the story, but it was a 3-2-2 split with Harold and Gwen voting for Izzy, Jasmine and Shawn voting for Lightning, and Lightning, Izzy, and Ella voting for Jasmine.

And thus, we leave the cast in a rather...interesting place. Jasmine, in particular, isn't in the best spot - both in the game, and mentally. Having someone you were having trouble forgiving sacrifice themselves for you, and then you have to change teams on top of it? Not good.

That's just about it for now. All that's left to say is that I'll be turning 28 on monday, and more importantly that **I have decided to go through with the episode change.** When will it happen, you ask? Why, next Friday of course! That's right, don't expect Food Fright next week - it's been moved back to make room for something else. Of course, after that the season will proceed with the normal episode order, as this shift is only meant to be a one-time thing.

Until then, enjoy yourselves and let me know what you thought of the episode.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)


	4. Chapter 4 - Moon Madness

**Author's Note**

Wow, already at episode 4...just about a third of the way through the season, and boy do I have something in store for you today. But before that, the reviews.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Thanks, it was pretty uneventful but I had some good cake. I'm glad you enjoyed the HaroldxZoey scene, and as for Jasmine...well, her getting switched is basically what I've been building up to with her grudge against Lightning. Also, I hope you enjoyed your prom!

 **Gage the Hedehog:** Thanks, as always.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yup, it's already caused her some trouble this season though Harold was finally able to breakthrough it.

 **Sarcasm Is A Habit:** Haha, I'm glad I was able to make a good challenge even better. And yeah, despite Jasmine making up with Harold she's still in a pretty bad position in-game...and despite losing, Harold's life is looking surprisingly good.

 **ferguson97:** Yup, that's exactly what I was going for with Gwen and Courtney. And honestly, there was no chance of Lightning going home this soon, considering how beloved he is.

 **Animation Adventures:** Yeah, Harold going home this early was kind of odd, but it fits. He's made his mark, and wrapped things up, and now it's time for the show to move on. And Villains are gonna Villain; just because they recognize the need for teamwork doesn't mean they aren't gonna try and spin it to their advantage. Glad you liked Noah's reaction to it, by the way, and I'm glad you're enjoying Izzy as well.

 **bruno14:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I'm kind of surprised so many people thought Izzy was seriously gonna end up the main villain; she's mischievous, sure, but not much more than that. She's difficult to ever really play as a serious character. Good to hear you're rooting for Lightning, and as for Jasmine's dislike of him...admittedly, I've been going a little overboard with that, but so far it's accomplished what I needed it to. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens next.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Couldn't agree with you more. Harold's time was well-spent; he accomplished his goal of making up with Jasmine and even got something good out of it (though he did lose his shot at the million). I feel like you're probably giving me too much credit in terms of how calculated things are; a lot of plot points and events are basically just whims I decided to make work. That's not to say I don't plan ahead, but it's a wonder this series has held out as well as it has. Or maybe that's just my writer's pessimism, lol. But yeah, like I told bruno I've probably been overdoing Jasmine's distrust of Lightning a bit. But, well...changing circumstances in the game may bring out changes in its players.

 **ashDanLand:** Yes, truly a sad ending for Harold in a sense, though he did get two great things out of it. Other than that, I'm glad you enjoyed last week's episode and I hope you enjoy this week's as well!

 **Tokusatsu-31st Century:** Yup. Although one pair has made up, another still has work to do...but with Gwen and Courtney now on the same team, there may be a chance for development.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** ...you and Knifez made a bet? Huh. I don't know, hearing that people have been discussing my stories without me knowing it...it gives me weird feelings. Like I'm a real author or something, I don't know lol. And honestly, I never even considered having Harold try to fix Shawn up with Jasmine, it was always clear to me that he'd sacrifice himself. Him hooking up with Zoey was less clear, as I wasn't interested in giving Zoey a love interest last season, but since then they've grown on me so I was happy to get them together.  
'Slow burn' may have been the wrong choice to describe Ella's role in the story...but, well, you'll understand what I mean eventually. Speaking of campers who don't have much plot, Noah and Izzy will still at least have parts to play. And Izzy also provides to good comic relief, and I'm glad you enjoyed her last week.  
I've already told a couple other reviewers that I probably pushed the whole 'Jasmine doesn't like Lightning' thing a tad too hard, but its done what I needed it to so far and like you implied the events of last week's episode are gonna force some things to change both with her and with others.  
Regarding Scott and Courtney...honestly, despite how I've been writing them so far even I'm not gonna preclude a relationship forming between them. Both are pretty different than they were in canon, so it's only natural that their interactions go differently as well. I'm basically just playing things by ear with them, and seeing where they end up. I can't guarantee their ship will sail, but I can't say it will, either.  
Interesting analysis as to which episode is this week, but as you can probably tell already you made a faulty assumption along the way...still, I hope you enjoy how this episode plays out!

 **Derick Lindsey:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! I'm a little surprised you predicted the method of Harold's redemption so easily, but I suppose it was bound to happen so I'll give you props for it. And yeah, the strategy and the politics on the Villains' side is getting more and more complicated, with Scott out a blackmail subject with Jasmine taking her place, not to mention Noah, Justin, and Alejandro all on the team.  
As for Tyler/Lindsay...well, who knows whats happened off-screen?

 **Glowing Insanity:** Haha, I'm glad I was able to keep the tension despite the Villains being outnumbered yet still winning the better guns. The Villains are definitely gonna be hard to predict now that their 'leader' is on the opposite team, but they're all fairly resourceful so they're bound to figure things out. I'm a little surprised you (and some others) thought Lightning was going to get the boot last week, as he really only annoyed Jasmine and never did anything wrong. But, well, the fake-out elimination did lead to some interesting developments, as I'm sure you'll see.

 **Guest #1:** Yeah, it was a pretty obvious fake-out I think, but it was still pretty dramatic and absolutely worked with the plot and characters. Things are definitely gonna go down with Jasmine and Courtney now that they've swapped teams, and the plot in general is gonna be heating up. I never really thought of the parallels between Jasmine and Leshawna, but I can see where you're coming from with them.

 **graveexcitement:** Hah, yeah, I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up Harold's WT elimination. It definitely helped inspire his boot last week. And I hope you enjoy what happens with Jasmine, Courtney, Gwen, and Scott...

 **turn forever you and me:** Fair enough, fair enough. I'm glad you enjoyed Scott's underhandedness, and you may just be right that bad times will be had...

 **TotalDramaJudge:** Yeah, they certainly earned it. Too bad the one that inspired it to happen is now on the opposite team. I'm glad you enjoyed Harold making up with jasmine, and even more so his kiss with Zoey.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Welcome, it's always nice to hear from new reviewers! I enjoyed seeing your thoughts on the characters; I definitely have areas I can do better, but I'm glad that overall it's been enjoyable for you.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Thanks! Yeah, Jasmine becoming a Villains isn't exactly something most would predict going in to the season, but I think I justified it well. Plus it does lead to some interesting possibilities for both her and Courtney. I hope you enjoy!

 **BuckJohnson:** Really? Yet another person who expected me to boot Lightning, and I'm not entirely sure why. Still, interesting predictions.

 **moka evans:** Thanks! Like you said, the switch has made the Villains' situation fairly interesting, and I hope you enjoy what comes of it. And I'm definitely not gonna forget about Scott's attempted blackmail.

 **DSX61415:** Cool, I'm glad you liked it!

 **VIPGuest:** Well, I know I've probably overdone some thing with Jasmine, but this is the first time I've been told her unwillingness to forgive Harold was one of them. Still, it's resolved itself rather nicely even if Harold had to get booted for it. And yeah, its hard to believe this series has been going on for nearly two years...

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, I'm glad you liked the swap at least. It's definitely gonna lead to some interesting developments, like I've been telling people. Sorry I had to get rid of Harold so early, though. I just didn't want to drag out his reconciliation for a larger chunk of the season. Still, even with the episode swap, I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **OMAC001:** Oh ho, I hope I can live up to your expectations!

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Hah, yeah, that's my birthday for you - always near Memorial Day. I'm glad last week's episode was your favorite of the season, but with so much of All-Stars still unwritten I hope you find one you like even more by its end. Hearing that Harold is one of the characters I've written best really does mean a lot to me; I really like him as a character and I'm glad I was able to portray him well. And regarding Izzy/Lightning, you weren't the only one who didn't see the sparks, and to be honest i don't think I'm gonna end up shipping them in any serious fashion. I'm glad you're really enjoying the Villains, as a team they've been a blast to write and that's not gonna change anytime soon now that Jasmine has joined their ranks. Speaking of, like I've said to others I do think I pushed Jasmine's dislike of Lightning a tad too far, but who knows. The season's not over, and the negative aspects of her character this season haven't yet had all their intended consequences.

 **Icetundra:** Ah, glad to hear you've caught up, it's always nice to see new reviewers. I'm glad you enjoyed last week's chapter, with the boys trying to gain Courtney's favor (and it eventually being for nothing), Jasmine failing as a hero, and the swap. Still, there's a lot of interesting things to come (though Izzy being the main antagonist isn't one of them), and I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **Knifez:** Hey, good to hear from you again! Wow, you work late, it makes sense why you've been having trouble reviewing. And...fair point regarding Staci's appearance in the first episode; I wasn't really thinking of that and just wanted a gag to introduce Scarlett, more or less. As always, your thoughts on the cast were very interesting though there's not a whole I can say at this time - other than pointing out that technically Izzy was never competing with Jo for a slot, she was competing with Zoey/Trent while Jo was competing with Ella. Also, yeah, probably ended up going overboard with some of Jasmine's faults, but whatever. Even though you haven't yet reviewed episode 3, I hope you enjoy it, this week's episode, and the rest of the season.

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, the Heroes losing was pretty obvious. But hey, at least there were plenty of shocks to make up for it, lol. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it and I hope you like this week's episode too.

 **link9753:** Yeah, tricky eliminations will do that - neither choice presented seemed like they really had it coming, so in a shocking twist someone else steps up. In a meta sense, I suppose twists like that are almost predictable. I'm glad you're enjoying Lightning, and as for the Villains...well, their dynamic is an interesting one to be sure.

 **FOWLKON:** Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not the only author our age in this fandom. Unfortunately I actually don't have any other major commitments at this time, as I've been unable to find work in three years and am stuck living with my parents. I'd love to be able to make money off my writing, but alas it all has far too many serial numbers to file off - unlike 50 Shades, the Shuffled series isn't different enough from the source material that I can just change the names and sell it off.  
But anyway, your review. Yeah, Jasmine getting moved to the Villains was something I've been building too, even if I do feel like I made her a bit too annoyingly unreasonable regarding Lightning. Same thing with Courtney becoming a hero; now she can better progress with her part of the plot. Harold's sacrifice ended up opening up a whole lot of possibilities by way of enabling this swap, I tell you.

 **wifishark:** Glad to hear. And honestly...I have no idea how Noah's role would've changed had he lost season four. He probably wouldn't have been as bitter about his teammates not respecting him since he wouldn't have been a winner.

And that's that out of the way for the week. Just like always, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

Likewise, the current teams are as follows:

Heroic Hamsters: Ella, Gwen, Izzy, Lightning, Shawn, Courtney

Villainous Vultures: Alejandro, Justin, Noah, Scott, Jasmine

This week...well, things are gonna go down. And it all starts with the moon...

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 4 – Moon Madness**

"Last time, on a very special episode of Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris began as the scene opened on the island but quickly switched to the traditional recap montage – which started with Jasmine eagerly climbing a tree to get her teams' bearings despite Lightning's misgivings. "It was _all_ about teamwork," the Villainous Vultures were shown rallying behind Courtney's leadership while they waited at the starting line, "or lack thereof." Courtney was then shown refusing to shoot Gwen while she was down, only for Scott to do it instead and then blackmail Courtney over it later on in the Peanut Gallery. "Hahaha, awesome plan, Scott," the host laughed. " _Harsh_ , but _awesome_."

"The challenge?" The close-up of Chef holding a leech up in front of the camera for the campers to see was shown next. "An epic leechball battle brought out _everyone's_ inner monster." Izzy was shown spinning around rapidly and throwing out a storm of leeches at the cowering Villains; Justin pulled Alejandro in front of him to take a shot; Jasmine jumped down from above and shot Noah in the mouth; and Scott and Justin hunted down Shawn as he leaped from tree to tree.

" _Especially_ Jasmine," the tall survivalist was shown arguing with Lightning after Noah had been taken out, causing them to get hit as well, "which is why she would have been flushed." The two rival powerhouses glared at each other during their first marshmallow ceremony of the season, but it was Jasmine's name that was called out. "But, in an unexpected act of valor," the alpha nerd stood and volunteered for elimination, " _Harold_ took her place of shame instead." He ans Jasmine hugged, then he gave his parting words before taking the Flush of Shame.

"But," Chris continued over a shot of the remaining Heroes gasping at the campfire, "this paved the way for my _brilliant_ switcheroo! Now Jasmine's a villain," the Australian girl stood with a sad sigh, "Courtney's a hero," the ex-CIT and her former teammates reacted in shock, "and _I'm_ a genius!" The two girls passed each other by, Courtney giving awkward encouragement to a glum Jasmine.

"Oh, it's gonna get naaaaaasty!" he told the camera, the montage ending to show him on the end of the dock. "Will the Villains be able to turn their victory into a winning streak? Find out now, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The episode opened on a close-up of the floorboards of the losers' cabin, the background score starting with a deep note and, unusually, a cricket accompaniment.

"Uggh, I really _hate_ this stupid gruel," Courtney complained, the camera zooming out to show her standing on the cabin's front porch with Ella, both girls eating bowls of the standard disgusting slop served to the losers. The lights shining in the windows behind them and the twilight sky signaled that it was around sunset. "I already spent two _days_ here eating this stuff, and when I finally lead my team to victory Chris switches me back to the losers! It's _ridiculous_!"

"Don't worry, Courtney," Ella said sweetly. "I'm sure you'll get your chance to stay at the spa hotel soon! And then we'll give you a _proper_ Heroes' welcome."

Courtney pursed her lips in annoyance. "Yeah, I don't really wanna hear it from someone who's only had to sleep in one of those pathetic cabins _once_. You couldn't _possibly_ understand what I'm feeling right now, so don't try to act like everything's gonna be alright," she said harshly.

Ella seemed to wilt slightly, but both girls had their attentions diverted as Gwen exited their half of the cabin. "Wow, how _heroic_ ," she said with dry sarcasm as she passed between her two teammates. "I can _totally_ see why you're on this team."

xxx

"I was hoping that being on the same team again would actually give me a chance to talk to Gwen," Courtney told the confessional camera, "but I haven't had a single chance. She went to bed right away last night, and she's been avoiding me ever since! That little bit of snark just then was the first thing she's said to me since the swap. This has been torture!" She gripped her hair and gave the camera a pained look, but then let out her breath and folded her hands in her lap. "But I'm _not_ giving up on this. I just gotta show Gwen that I'm really _not_ the person she thinks I am."

xxx

Courtney frowned as Gwen walked down the steps and out of sight, then sighed. "Look, Ella, I'm sorry," she told the princess. "It's just that everything that's happened so far has been so unbelievably frustrating. It's like Chris has it out for _me_ , specifically."

"I can sing you a song to cheer you up, if you'd like," Ella offered with a smile.

"Thanks, but no thanks," Courtney said after another sigh.

"Well then, maybe you should try to focus on the _good_ things that have happened," the singer suggested.

The ex-villain paused, and tilted her head slightly in thought. "Hmm...well...it _is_ nice to no longer have to deal with the Villains," she finally said, leaning over the porch railing and staring off into the distance. "Especially Scott, he was _so_ annoying. I just don't even _get_ how a guy like that can even _function_ in the real world."

Ella smiled and joined her on the railing. "Oh yes, he _is_ quite the character, isn't he? But I'm sure he'll get what's coming to him eventually."

It was then that Lightning burst from the guys' side of the cabin, and slid up next to Ella and Courtney. "What's up, girlies? How y'all doin' on this _fine_ evenin'?"

"Decently, all things considered," Ella replied. "How about you, Lightning?"

The uber-jock paused and blinked. "Uhh, actually, Lightning's kinda bored," he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. "He's been itchin' to take on the next challenge all day, but it hasn't come yet! Where's Chris at, anyway?"

"Good question," Courtney added in annoyance.

/

A flash took the scene to the spa hotel, cutting inside to show four of the five Villains enjoying a steak dinner at the table.

"Ahh, _finally_ a meal fit for a Burromuerto," Alejandro sighed contentedly, sitting on the far right end with Justin at his side. "And we have you and your _villainy_ to thank for it, Jasmine," he added with a smirk.

The camera panned to the other side of the table where Jasmine was seated, with Noah a seat a way. "Don't remind me," she shot back angrily.

"And why not?" Alejandro asked as the camera panned back to the right, off of Jasmine but back on to him and Justin. "I thought someone like you would be _proud_ to be on the winning team for three nights in a row."

He received his answer in the form of a steak to the face. Noah and Justin started laughing hysterically, and Alejandro growled in irritation as the slab of meat slowly slid down to reveal his scowl. Jasmine stood up and stormed out of the room, and the camera's focus moved back to the boys as the laughter ended.

xxx

"Between the laughter just now and the _disgrace_ of being used as a shield yesterday," Alejandro confessed with thinly veiled anger, "it's becoming more and more clear to me that Justin is not going to stay in line much longer. It's time to start looking for another ally, while I continue to string him along."

xxx

"Okay, jokes aside," Justin whispered to Alejandro, leaning to the side and using his hand to shield his mouth from Noah's suspicious gaze, "I gotta ask: why pick on Jasmine? I thought for sure you'd try to get an alliance with her since she's _gotta_ be looking for one."

"Ah, but things are not so _simple_ , bromigo," Alejandro replied in an equally hushed tone. "A woman like that will not simply accept an alliance from men like us. Especially after what happened with _you_ last season," he added sternly.

"Oh, right," Justin said sheepishly.

"So instead, we must make it as clear as possible that she is on the _bottom_ of this team," Alejandro continued. "Alienate her at every turn, so that she becomes driven to _win_ and avoid elimination long enough to reunite with her former teammates. And should we lose, she shall become so willing to form an alliance that she'll accept one from even us."

The model nodded. "Okay, I get it now. But wait, what's stopping her from trying to form an alliance with the others?"

"I don't think it'll happen," Alejandro said, shaking his head. "She may get Noah on her side, but I doubt she likes _Scott_ anymore than us. And with Courtney out of the picture, Scott will be looking for an ally as well...which is where _we_ come in."

"Riiiight," Justin said, smiling and nodding in comprehension.

/

The music turned deep and ominous as the as scene pan-wiped to Boney Island. "Yoo hoo," Scott called out as the shot cut to an upward angle of him walking through the pine forest, "invincibility statue, come to papa!"

He poked a bush with a stick, only for a grizzly bear to stand up out of it and roar at him. He stood up and screamed, but before he could flee a large metallic clamp dropped down and grabbed him by the head. "Hey, what the?!" he said in confusion before he was pulled into the air, barely avoiding a swipe from the bear as the sound of a helicopter filled the air. The bear roared at him.

The shot cut outward and upward, showing the clamp Scott was attached to hanging from the bottom of the show's helicopter. Chef smiled and flew the helicopter forward to the camera's left, and Scott pointed down at the bear and laughed. "Hah! Later, sucker!"

He was promptly flown back-first into the top of a pine tree, and brushed against it hard as the helicopter dragged him onward. Right after he cleared it, however he smacked into another tree, and another, and another. His grunts of pain were heard even over the roar of the helicopter blades.

/

"Evening, campers!" Chris announced over the camp's loudspeakers. "Gather 'round the starting line for a biiig announcement!"

The shot cut to the six Heroes and four Villains gathered along a chalk line drawn on the ground just past the loser cabin. They looked up at the sound of the approaching helicopter, and the camera panned up to Scott – still hanging by the clamp, but now covered in leaves and pine needles. Without warning the clamp released him, and he dropped with a scream.

He landed belly-down on the startling line near the gap between his team. "Hmmph," Courtney said from the end of the Heroes' line, prodding his groaning body with her foot. "I guess you being seriously _injured_ was too much to ask."

Scott snorted and stood up. "Glad to know you _care_ ," he told her. "I hope you spent some time thinking about what I told you last night," he added in a whisper.

"Told her _what_ , exactly?" Jasmine asked, directly behind him.

"None of your _business_ ," he replied in a snide tone, whirling around to face her.

The camera zoomed out enough to show Noah, Alejandro, and Justin standing next to her and watching him.

Scott furrowed his brow in confusion, then turned back around to face Courtney – and the Heroes she was standing next to. A sugary tinkling noise played as Ella waved at him.

"Wait. Hold on," he said, pointing to Courtney with one hand and Jasmine the other. "Why are _you_ over _here_ ," he asked an unamused Courtney, "and why is _she_ with the Villains?" He pointed both hands as Jasmine, who pursed her lips and put her hands on her hips.

"Chris _swapped_ us," Courtney explained irritably. "I'm on the _Heroes_ now, so don't talk to me." She crossed her arms and sharply turned her head away from him. He just gaped in shock.

xxx

"Okay, _seriously_?!" he angrily confessed. "Not only do I miss our first night in the spa hotel to spend nearly a _day_ on Boney Island looking for the invincibility statue, which I didn't even _find_ by the way, but now I come back to find the girl I was planning to blackmail into an alliance is on the other team? It's like Chris has it out for _me_ , specifically!"

He crossed his arms, looked to the side, and grunted in bitter irritation. It faded after a few moments, however, into a devious smirk. "Well, just because _those_ plans have to be put on hold for now doesn't mean I can't try some _other_ things I cooked up while in exile."

He ended his confessional by snickering evilly...until a fly flew into his mouth and got stuck in his throat.

xxx

"So," Scott said, looking around and brushing a few stray leaves from his tanktop, "I guess you guys voted out that nerd, huh?" he told the Heroes. "Good choice if you ask me. He seemed like a real _loser_."

He laughed off the glares given to him by Ella, Lightning, Izzy, Gwen, and Shawn, but upon turning around to take his place with his team he bumped right into Jasmine. She grabbed him by the next of his tanktop and pulled him up to her level with one hand.

"Watch your _tongue_ , you little mongrel," she threatened.

"R-right, sorry," Scott said quickly and fearfully, the camera zooming in on Alejandro as he nudged Justin and the two shared a smile.

Jasmine dropped Scott, and the entire group turned to the host as he walked up to them. "Good news, you guys," Chris greeted, now wearing a pith helmet. "As a special treat, it's time for an extremely dangerous _nighttime_ challenge!"

"How is this 'good news'?" Gwen asked his skeptical air quotes.

"Entertainment value, _helllooo~oo_!" Chris answered with mild annoyance. "This one is gonna be ratings _gold_ ," he added with a smile before turning to the side.

"In a nod to season four's 'buried treasure' fiasco," he explained as Chef pushed a widescreen television cart over, an aerial photo of the island displayed on it, "your challenge is to race to the far end of the island." The shot cut in close to the green X marking the campgrounds, then panned along as a dotted green line wound through the forest, ending with an arrow that pointed to a red X on the far beach. "First team to get _every member_ across the finish line wins," he added as green silhouettes of each individual camper appeared on either side of the ending X, with Heroes on the left and Villains on the right. "And," he walked in front of the television right before it pulled backward, "someone from the losing team _will_ be taking the big flush!" he declared, turning around dramatically.

"That's all?" Shawn asked. "Sounds pretty easy."

"It does, doesn't it?" Chris replied with a mischievous smile as Chef pulled the TV cart away. "But, tonight's full moon is an _extremely_ rare Blue Harvest Moon," he explained as the background music became slightly tenser, "and, let's just say it has an _unusual_ effect on the island's animals."

He laughed darkly, and the Villains exchanged wary looks. "Villainous Vultures!" Chris said, drawing the camera back to him. "You won the last challenge, so, you get this map with the fastest route across the island." He held up a map of the island with a thick red X roughly in the center of it.

"Heroic _Chump_ -sters," he continued as the team in question looked at one another, " _you_ get to wear nifty bacon hats, and sausage tails," Chef walked past holding the meaty items in question, "which should add to the fun when you come face to fang with the island's friendly creatures." The shot cut back to the Heroes as Chef finished affixing the protein-rich garb onto Shawn and walked away. "And by _friendly_ , I mean _hungry_ ," the host added with another bout of laughter.

"Still sounds pretty simple," Gwen whispered to Shawn. "Since the Villains have a map with the fastest route, we can just follow them, right?"

"Definitely," the scruffy survivalist nodded.

The camera panned over to the rest of their team, showing both Izzy and Lightning holding up their sausage tails – the wild child grinning, but the jock looking longingly at them. "Man, wearin' all this protein is just gonna make Lightning _hungry_."

"Just...try to ignore it," Courtney advised, looking at her own sausage tail. "I don't think this is cooked, and we don't need you getting _sick_ from eating raw meat."

"Oh yeah, good point," Lightning told her.

The camera panned again, now showing Scott staring at Courtney while the other Villains looked at the map in Alejandro's hands with mixed interest. "Well amigos, looks like _this_ cat is in the bag," the charmer declared.

"On your mark," Chris said, the shot zooming in on him rapidly as a deep note played.

Noah and Jasmine shared a look. "Don't be so sure about that," the slacker told his teammate.

"Get set!" Chris called out.

"What?" Alejandro replied sharply, looking at Noah and Jasmine with a mixture of suspicion and confusion.

Chris blew his airhorn as the music rose dramatically, and the two teams took off running with a "Yeah!" from Scott with the Villains out in front, and a "Woo hoo!" from Izzy with the Heroes in back.

/

The scene flashed to a long-distance shot of the island, the lights of the campground distinctly absent and the full moon looking rather normal.

"Hey, Noah," Jasmine before the camera cut to her and her new teammate running along at the back of their team's pack, "remember how I saved you from becoming a mutant last year?"

"I wish I could, but the nightmares just keep coming back," Noah answered dryly.

"Right," Jasmine said. "I think it's time I called in that favor."

Noah sighed. "I thought as much. Let me guess, you want an alliance?"

"Well yeah, but that's not the favor I had in mind," Jasmine answered.

"Darn," Noah said, snapping his fingers.

"I want you to try and get in good with the other Villains," she whispered. "Figure out who they plan on voting for, and tell me so I can be prepared."

Noah sighed. "Fine, I'll be your informant," he told her. "But I'm not telling them that the Heroes are gonna follow us to the other end of the island. I want Al to figure that out on his own."

Jasmine smiled and shrugged. "Fine with me, mate."

A few more deep, ominous notes played as the camera pulled back to show all five Vultures, then panned to the left onto the Hamsters running behind them.

"Alright, just like this," Shawn told his teammates. "We keep this up, and we'll be able to pass them right before they reach the finish line."

"And the best thing is, they totally won't see it coming!" Izzy said excitedly as the focus panned back from Shawn and on to her and Gwen and Courtney.

"So...I guess for now we can just enjoy this nice night, huh Gwen?" Courtney asked with a hesitant smile.

"Yeah. Sure," the goth answered tersely.

"Pfft, not like we got anything better to do," Lightning griped, the shot once again panning to the left and now showing the uber-jock running behind Ella. "At a pace this slow, we aren't gonna get there 'til _morning_."

Ella sighed dreamily. "Honestly, I don't even care about that. There's something in the air tonight that makes me really wanna _sing_...oh!" She perked up suddenly, and pointed upwards. "Look!" she said, prompting the camera to move in front of her teammates as they stopped in their tracks and looked up.

Another close-up showed the reflection of the full moon in Ella's wide eyes, and an ominous drumroll led into a dramatically eerie melody as it began to turn blue.

"Ooh, _cool_ ," Izzy said in a low but eager voice as a ring of blue light pulsed outward from the abnormal celestial object.

"Sha- _whoa_...," Lightning added as the very air around the forest took on a bluish tinge.

A squirrel was shown being pinned to the trunk of a tree by a growling bear, whose other forepaw was raised to punch...until the pulse of blue light passed over them with an odd chime, causing the squirrel to growl ferociously at the suddenly calm bear. A dramatic tune played as the bear backed off in fear, only for the rodent to jump at it. They disappeared off-screen, only the flurry of brown fur and biting sounds hinting at what was happening.

An orange-colored bird flew through the air with a ferocious look on its face, forcing the chubby male intern to scream and close the door to the spa hotel. It was to no avail – the bird had picked up enough speed and power to bust a massive hole in the door and crash through the hotel. The dramatic music continued over another shot of the Blue Harvest Moon, the camera pulling back from it to show a massive horde of angry-looking rabbits. One hopped in front of the lens and roared with an unearthly ferocity.

The pulse of blue light passed over an enraptured Ella causing her to groan lightly and pass out, falling backward into the arms of a rather confused Lightning...

xxx

"Okay, lookin' back, that shoulda been Lightning's first sign that somethin' was _up_ ," Lightning told the outhouse camera.

The confessional had very visibly been filmed after the fact, and the light of dawn shining into the outhouse was only the least sign. More worryingly, several holes had been punched into every wall of the tiny building, and it was uncertain whether or not it even had a roof anymore. The toilet lid had been torn from its hinges and was lying to the side; the roll of toilet paper had been shredded; and most curiously there wasn't a single fly in view – even the flypaper that usually hung from the background had gone missing.

Even Lightning was looking ominously worse for wear – covered in scrapes and scratches, his eye blackened, and his jersey torn in several places.

"I mean seriously, who _faints_ after lookin' at some moonlight?" the uber-jock asked incredulously. "This whole night was un _real_...," he added, looking down and shaking his head.

xxx

"Uhh, what are we supposed to do with Ella?" Lightning asked, looking around with a nervous sort of awkwardness while held the unconscious singer under her arms.

"I...guess you should just carry her," Gwen suggested as the other Heroes gathered round.

"Ooh, I can do it!" Izzy suggested excitedly. "I've got _loads_ of arms for carrying stuff with!"

"Uhh, yeah, Lightning's just gonna do it himself," the jock said, picking up Ella piggyback.

"Good, now let's get going," Shawn said, waving for the Heroes to start running again.

/

The music spiked dramatically as the shot cut to a close-up of some very reptilian legs landing on the dirt. "Okay, this is weird," Noah said as the camera zoomed out, revealing the Villains standing warily before a rather happy-looking alligator that was wagging its tail against the ground. "Last time I checked alligators weren't _dogs_."

"This moon is like no other," Alejandro pondered aloud, walking around the alligator's side while Jasmine bent down on one knee to cautiously pet the beast's head. "It must be causing the animals to become their opposite!"

"I think you're right," Jasmine said, standing back up and looking around cautiously. "This challenge is gonna be a whole lot _trickier_ if we have to watch out for the critters that are usually small and meek."

As if on cue the music turned deep and tense and ominous as a mass growling drew the Villains' attention, and the camera cut to the approaching pack of vicious rabbits. One of them roared like a wildcat, causing the docile alligator to squeal in fright and duck behind the humans. Four of them had put their hands up defensively and were trying to back away, but Scott stubbornly held his ground.

"I'm not gonna be taken down by a gang of _bunnies_ ," he said, looking down at the rabbits in disdain.

Three of them pounced onto his chest and bit down, causing the camera to pan up to the Blue Harvest Moon as Scott's pained scream filled the air.

/

The music continued on as a trio of vicious-looking bluebirds shot past a nearby camera like fighter jets, heading straight for the Heroes.

"Incoming!" Shawn called out as warning, the camera pulling back to show him leading his team straight towards their assailants. The birds began to swarm and peck at him and Courtney and Gwen, all three yelping in pain as they tried to bat the birds out of the air.

"Get away from me, you buzzards!" Izzy shouted angrily as they turned their attention to her, the mutant sprouting an extra arm so she could swat fruitlessly at all three.

The camera panned onto Lightning. "...yeah, Lightning's just gonna go around," he said, speeding up and passing Izzy. The shot zoomed in on Ella's face, apparently sleeping peacefully, then cut back up to the moon as the ominous music faded away...

…only to spike back up again as Ella's arms reached across Lightning's neck and pulled hard, forcing the boy to stop. He started to gag and choke and claw at her arms to free himself, causing his teammates – and the bluebirds – to stop what they'd been doing and watch.

The ominous music resumed in full force with an almost mystical quality added to the mix as Ella's body seemed to shift slightly, and Lightning was thrown to the ground on his side. The viewpoint moved in front of him as he propped himself up with one arm and coughed, rubbing his throat with his free hand and sending an angry look up and to the side. "Girl, what's the big idea?" he asked as Ella's feet appeared in front of him.

She stepped down hard on the hand he was holding himself up on, causing him to yelp in pain and collapse back onto his belly.

"Uh, Ella?" Gwen asked in concern. "Is...something wrong?"

The camera panned back to the singer, walking away from Lightning with her eyes closed, her head down, and her mouth in a slight frown. The trio of bluebirds charged at her, and Courtney and Shawn gasped, but just before the birds reached her she took a deep breath and opened her eyes – dull and utterly unfocused, faintly reflecting the glow of the Blue Harvest Moon. The birds stopped in their tracks, and the music cut out entirely.

She began to sing. It was unlike anything they'd ever heard from her, unlike anything they'd ever heard from anything. It was deep, and haunting, and terrifying; an otherworldly funeral dirge devoid of any lyrics. She looked up at the moon and spread her arms wide as though praying to it, and after the merest of moments the bluebirds flew to her, and picked her up into the air.

The background music rose back into an underlying accompaniment to Ella's song, and the scene cut to the Villainous Vultures and the alligator running from the horde of rabbits with one of them still latched on to Scott's head. Both human and forest creature alike stopped when they heard Ella's song.

"The heck?" Scott asked, looking upward and using the rabbit's distraction to pull it off his face. "Who's _singing_?"

A sudden growling attracted his attention, and the camera cut to Justin backing away from the now-hostile alligator. "Uh, hold on a second," he laughed anxiously, "I thought this guy was supposed to be acting _nice_ right now." The gator snapped its jaws at him, causing him to jump back with a scream of terror into Jasmine's arms.

She scowled at him, and dropped him without a word. The alligator suddenly lunged at her, prompting her to grab it by the jaws and wrestle it to the ground.

" _Interesting_...," Alejandro pondered, rubbing his chin in thought as Ella's song grew louder. "I wonder-"

"Think later," Noah interrupted, darting to the charmer's side in a panic and thrusting a single trembling finger to the left. "Run _now_!"

The perspective shifted to show the pack of rabbits growling at them with renewed aggression, but even they were briefly distracted by a number of approaching screams. The camera zoomed out and panned over to show the Heroic Hamsters approaching, the five terrified teens now being chased by several more birds of various colors, a legion of chipmunks, and one very aggressive male mallard. And, most importantly, by Ella, who was still flying above them with the help of her little forest friends and singing the same unearthly melody.

The two teams merged into one group as they all ran screaming into the woods, the furry and feathered and scaled army in perilously close pursuit.

/

The footage flashed ahead to a shot of the tops of several trees against the Blue Harvest Moon. Ella's song preceded her arrival on-screen by the wings of many birds, and she was carried up to the tip of the tallest tree in sight. She was set down gently and unthinkingly, and the shot cut to a long-distance shot of Wawanakwa as her eldritch dirge rang clear over the island.

/

Shawn was doubled over panting, a single hand propping himself up against a tree. "Okay, I think we lost 'em," he said, taking a breath and standing back up while his teammate's song continued softly in the backround. "Let's regroup and head back to...," he looked around, and his face fell as the shot zoomed out to show him alone, "...the trail." He gulped in fearful disbelief. "Uh, guys? You out there?" he asked the forest anxiously, continuing to look around him as he began to walk. "Please don't tell me I'm the only one who escaped from those-"

A large bush in the background rustled.

"Aah! Zombie animals!" he screamed in terror, jumping back a few feet and brandishing his hands like weapons.

"What? No, Shawn, it's me!" Jasmine said, stepping out of the bush and into the blue-tinged open.

Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goodness, Jasmine, am I ever glad to see you."

"Me too," Jasmine said with a smile as she stepped over to him, but it soon dropped into a look of concern and confusion as she looked around the forest. "But what's going on? What's Ella _doing_?"

"I have _no idea_ ," Shawn answered. "My best guess is that she's either being affected by the moon, or that she's really been _evil_ this whole time and is using her song to make the animals her _zombie mind-slaves_."

"W-well, either way that's _horrible_!" Jasmine said. "We need to _do_ something about it."

" _First_ we have to get to safety," Shawn told her, briefly hunching down and looking around in high alert. A small purple bird shot out of another bush at them, but they easily sidestepped and rolled out of its bullet-like path. " _Then_ we can figure out what to do next."

"Right," Jasmine nodded uncertainly, following her former teammate off into the woods.

Seconds later they skidded to a stop as a large grizzly bear lumbered out in front of them. "Uh oh," Jasmine said warily.

"Actually, I think we're good," Shawn said slight confidence, holding his hands in a calming position as he slowly inched towards the bear. "I'm pretty sure we only have to worry about the animals that were originally nice. I didn't notice any predators in that mob that attacked us earlier."

"What about the alligator?" Jasmine asked in concern.

Shawn stopped in mid-step, and gulped. "I, uh, I kinda forgot about that one."

The camera panned back to the grizzly, which was now glaring at Shawn. It reared up on its hind legs, roared, and swiped at the scruffy survivalist. Shawn ducked it, screamed, and jumped to the nearest tree. "Climb! Climb!" he commanded, Jasmine taking one more look at the advancing bear and jumping into the tree after him.

The bear paused at the base of the tree, growled upwards at its unseen prey, and began to climb as well...

/

A flash took the scene to Alejandro, Justin, and Noah as they ran through the forest screaming, a swarm of bats attacking their heads.

"Not the hair!" Justin pleaded as he tried to shield his well-coiffed head from his portion of the attackers. "I spent _hours_ conditioning it!"

"I thought bats getting tangled in peoples hair was just an old wives' tale!" Noah added as he tried to pull a bat from his short locks, only for it to bite him on the finger.

" _Clearly_ , it _isn't_!" Alejandro countered. "Just like _this_ needs to _end_!" He quickly reached to his waist and pulled out his belt. "Scatter! Go away!" he demanded, cracking his belt at the bats like a whip. "Leave, you _accursed_ murciélagos!"

It seemed to have the desired effect, and after the bats dispersed the three boys – their hair messed up and their heads covered with scratches and bites – came to a halt to catch their breaths. " _Finally_ ," Noah grunted.

"Why didn't you think of that sooner," Justin said, taking out his hand mirror and checking out his appearance. "You could've saved us both a _load_ of damage."

Alejandro scowled at him. "It's not like either of _you_ came up with anything," he shot back.

Noah smiled and laughed awkwardly. "Hey, no complaints here," he told the arch-villain, who turned a look of narrow-eyed suspicion towards his teammate. "In fact, uh, I guess I kinda owe you one?"

/

"You can _not_ expect us to keep going," Gwen objected, the scene flashing to a few empty tree tops before panning down to her, Courtney, and Lightning walking through the woods together. "Did you _forget_ about all the animals that wanna kill us?"

"Well, how _else_ are we gonna win the challenge?" Courtney objected as she pushed her way through a bush.

Gwen huffed in indignant disbelief. " _Figures_ ," she said bitterly as she followed the other girl through the underbrush. "All you care about is _winning_ , just like always. Well _some_ of us have more _important_ things on our minds, right Lightning?" she turned and asked the uber-jock walking behind her.

He was looking around with a frown of deep concentration, his hands cupped around his ears as he turned his head from side to side. "Hey, would you two be quiet?" he asked in annoyance. "Lightning's tryin' to listen for the animals!"

"Look," Courtney stopped and turned around to tell the goth, ignoring Lightning's request, "you _know_ Chris isn't gonna let us bail on the challenge."

"Hey!" Lightning called out.

"Heck, he's probably having the time of his _life_ right now watching us!" Courtney continued unabated. "We don't have much choice _but_ to go forward, unless you _want_ to risk being eliminated."

"Excuse me!" the jock once again called out, darting up alongside Courtney and Gwen and waving his arms to get their attention. Neither took notice.

"If we stick together we _should_ make it through tonight in one piece," the ex-Villain said. "So how about we put aside our differences, and work together."

"Yeah, and you can _start_ by listenin' to the Lightning!" Lightning interrupted, finally grabbing both girls by their shoulders and turning them towards him. "We gotta keep quiet or else those killer animals are gonna find us," he told them in a hushed voice. "Like those deer over there," he said, pointing back to the left.

All three paused and looked to the side.

The camera panned over to a pair of deer growling at them, one buck and one doe. It then panned further down and zoomed in as an equally-vicious fawn stepped out form under them and growled as well.

The shot cut back to the three Heroes as they screamed as one and ray away.

/

" _Great_ ," Scott muttered as he traipsed through the woods, hunched over and covered in scratches. "Stuck alone in a forest in the middle of some kinda freaky _blue moon_. I could at _least_ be with one of the others," he said bitterly. "Preferably _Courtney_ , I haven't had a chance to talk to her since yesterday."

A twig snapped behind him, and for the first time in a while a dramatic tone rose up over Ella's ever-present song as Scott whipped around. "Who's there?" he asked. "Courtney?"

He was answered by a low cackle. "Oh no, Scottie boy," Izzy said as she stepped out of the shadows with a dark grin on her face. "It's _me_."

"Uhh...yeah...," the Scott said, taken aback by her demeanor, "I can see."

"Wanna play a little _game_ with me?" she asked creepily.

"...not really, no," the farmer answered, taking a wary step back.

Izzy's shoulders sagged and her grin fell into a frown. "Aww, really? Too bad. Maybe mister raccoon wants to play instead?" She leaned to the side and waved happily, and the camera rotated around her to show a raccoon standing on a low tree branch, glaring at the two redheads.

"Wha?" Scott said, turning around to face the raccoon...just as several more appeared from the shadows. They all began to chitter menacingly.

"Oh crap," Izzy said plainly, her eyes now as wide as Scott's.

The raccoons pounced, forcing the campers to turn and flee. The camera lingered, and a few stray members of the swarm turned their attention to it, leaping at it and breaking the lens.

The feed cut to static.

/

Ella's song rose slightly as the camera pulled back from the static, now on one of the viewing monitors in Chris' control room.

"Uh, haha, _yeah_ ," he laughed nervously, "this is _totally_ what I expected would happen. One hundred percent, _completely_ , according to plan." As he spoke the other live feeds were cut – one by a swarm of rabbits; another by a single male mallard; and the last by pair of squirrels as their comrades savagely mauled a tall, skinny figure with a sharp black suit and pale white featureless skin...

Chris gulped and turned his back on the broken feeds. "Who will make it to the other side of the island?" he asked the camera, in a stilted, anxious attempt at his usual hosting demeanor. "And who's about to become a serving of, haha, _teen cuisine_?" His grin faltered for a moment. "Stay tuned to find out, right here on Total! Drama!"

He descended into a terrified scream as a bear burst through the wall with a roar, bringing a pair of vicious bluebirds with it.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

Ella was still singing in the distance as the episode resumed, the focus now on the snarling grizzly climbing an increasingly thin tree. The camera panned up to show Shawn and Jasmine standing even higher, looking down warily.

"Okay, bears usually aren't this aggressive," Shawn commented. "Fortunately, there's a reason they don't usually climb trees when they're that big. Come on," he said, motioning for Jasmine to follow him. The shot pulled back as he jumped to the next tree over, and Jasmine jumped right after him.

The bear climbed up to where they'd been and snarled, only for the tree to start to bend backwards under its weight. A few flat notes played as it gave the camera a hopeless look, and with a tremendous crack the tree snapped, causing the bear to fall back to the ground.

The two survivalists giggled in relief. "Okay, looks like all the bears I've run into these past few years haven't been for nothing," Shawn commented. "You know, this kinda reminds me of a funny story from one of my jobs."

"Oh, is it the one where one of your fans dressed up as a zombie to lure you out into the woods?" Jasmine asked with an eager smile. "But you both ended up getting chased into a tree by a bear, and he asked you for an autograph?"

"Uhh...yeah," Shawn said hesitantly.

xxx

"Yeah, that happened two _days_ before this season started," Shawn told the confessional camera, though once again the spot had clearly been taped several hours after the challenge – the survivalist was covered in a thick coating of mud, but otherwise looked none the worse for wear. "There is no _way_ she should have known about it. I'm starting to think Jasmine's _more_ than just incredibly strong, smart, and attractive," he said, rubbing his chin and narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

xxx

The static cut away to Lightning, his eye blackened and his clothes torn, delivering a strong right hook to the fawn. "Take _that_ , Bambi!" he told it as it turned tail and fled into the forest. "Yeah, you _better_ go runnin' back to your momma! Oh wait! She's _unconscious_ somewhere!"

He took a deep, heaving breath, then turned around to face Gwen and Courtney. Both girls were on their butts panting heavily, scratched and bruised and hair a mess.

"Wow," Courtney said, "thanks, Lightning."

"No problem," the jock said, extending his hands and helping both girls to their feet. "Though somethin' about that didn't feel too _heroic_ to the Lightning."

"Yeah, I think punching a baby deer will do that to you," Gwen said dryly. "But seeing how it attacked us _first_ , I think you're good."

"Great! Now let's keep movin'," Lightning said.

The shot cut to the edge of what seemed at first to be the edge of a clearing, before the three Heroes arrived and stopped in their tracks.

"Uggh, a _rope bridge_?!" Gwen said as the shot panned to the right and zoomed out to show a rickety rope bridge extending over a wide gorge. " _Obviously_ it's a trap, we should go around."

"But that'll take three times as long!" Courtney objected. "Besides, you don't seriously want to go back into the _woods_ , do you?"

"I don't wanna cross a rope bridge that's obviously gonna _break_ , either," Gwen countered. "I've _seen_ movies, y'know."

"But this _isn't_ a movie," Courtney said, causing Lightning to roll his eyes, "this is _real life_. And there are _real_ animals in there trying to kill us." She gestured emphatically at the woods.

"And _you're_ the reason why we're even still out here in the first place," Gwen said, "when we _could_ have been back at camp by now. So how about we stop doing what _you_ wanna do, and _start_ doing what _I_ wanna do instead."

Courtney growled and clenched her fists and stamped her foot. "You're being _ridiculous_! Besides, I doubt _camp_ is any safer right now."

/

The scene flashed back to the spa hotel, an idyllic tune playing despite the gaping hole in its front door.

Then the music blared dramatically as Chris and Chef came running out the building, slamming the door behind them and leaning against it as the caught their breath. Ella's distant song replaced the dramatic music after a moment, but neither of the men seemed to notice. Both men were covered with cuts and bruises; several feathers and unidentified brownish stains had appeared on Chef's apron and his hat was missing entirely, while Chris's clothes had been shredded to the point that his toes were sticking out of his shoes and his boxers – printed with his own face – could be seen peaking through his khakis.

"This wasn't supposed to _happen_!" the host told his assistant. "Those animals are completely overrunning the island! They got into the _panic room_ , Chef," he said, grabbing the larger man by the strap of his unusually stained apron, "the _panic room_!"

A sudden growl caused both to leap from the door with a scream, and just before a bear paw swiped at them from the hole in it. "We gotta find somewhere to hunker down and keep safe until this _moon thing_ passes," Chef said.

"The other cabin," Chris suggested, and the two ran for the loser's lodge...only to skid to a halt when they saw an alligator on the front porch wearing a black bra on its head and hissing at them. They screamed.

"The mess hall!" Chef said, and they ran to the next building...only to scream when a bull moose burst out the front door.

"The...the outhouse confessional!" the host screamed in desperation, and the two made way to the much smaller building. They stopped in front of it and Chef swung open the door, only for both to take of screaming again as a cloud of black flies flew out at them with an angry buzz, even bringing the strip of fly paper with them.

The camera lingered as the two men were chased off-screen, the bull moose charging after them and knocking over the outhouse as it went. The alligator followed a little ways behind.

/

"Even if it isn't," Gwen retorted as the scene cut back to the three Heroes by the bridge, "I'd still rather be _there_ than here with _you_!"

Courtney gasped in shocked, but quickly turned it into an almost apologetic frown. "Look, I know you're still mad at me for last season," she said, "but I've changed! I'm not the type of person who would go behind everyone's backs to try and get my best friend or her boyfriend eliminated anymore!"

Gwen seemed taken aback slightly, but quickly scowled again. "Really? Because you sure _seem_ like the same old bossy Courtney that has to _always_ have her way."

"I...that...," Courtney tried to retort. Upon failing she clenched her fist and grit her teeth and held in a scream of frustration. Gwen just rolled her eyes.

Just then a ferocious cry came from the forest, startling all three Heroes. "Okay, look," Lightning told the girls, "Lightning don't really know what's goin' _on_ between you two, but right now, he don't really care. So here's what he's gonna do," he said, quickly stepping forward and grabbing both around their waists, raising them up onto his shoulders before they could react.

"L-lightning, what are you doing?" Gwen protested.

"Put me _down_!" Courtney added.

"Nuh-uh, not until Lightning gets us _all_ across that bridge," the jock said. "But don't worry, he'll be so fast it won't know what hit it! Sha- _Lightning_!" With a confident grin he charged forward onto the bridge.

"Aaah, I can't look!" Gwen moaned, the shot zooming in as she covered her eyes. The sound of heavy footsteps on creaky wood lasted for several seconds, and only when it stopped his Gwen look around again.

The camera zoomed out to show them safely on the opposite side of the gorge. "See?" Courtney told the goth with an annoyed scowl. "I _told you_ it was safe."

"Heheh, yeah, sorry...," Gwen admitted sheepishly before Lightning took off running again.

Once they left the scene, the camera panned back across the bridge to show Alejandro, Justin, and Noah running out of the woods screaming. A skunk, of all things, had bitten on to the charmer's butt.

"Get it _off_ me!" Alejandro demanded once the group reached the edge of the gorge, and Noah quickly complied by wrestling the enraged animal off their de facto leader. The shot zoomed in as it turned its head to growl at him, then paused to smile evilly and raise its tail.

"Aaaand time to say _goodbye_ to the living stinkbomb," Noah said with a slight hint of panic, quickly tossing the skunk into the gorge. The perspective switched to an aerial view as the skunk fell towards the river below, chittering angrily before it landed in the water with a splash and a cloud of gas.

"Thank you for the assist, amigo," Alejandro told him as the camera returned to its usual position.

"No problem," Noah said with an awkward smile, "that's what teammates are for, right? Besides, it would have been a _tragedy_ if it had sprayed you."

The shot cut to Justin frowning and raising a brow in confusion, then turning his gaze to the bridge. "Speaking of tragedies," he told his teammates, thumbing over his shoulder at the bridge, "check out what we just found."

"Woopie, another deathtrap," Noah said in mock celebration.

"Hmm...," Alejandro said, taking the map out of his pocket and rubbing his chin in thought. "It _is_ on the route we're supposed to be taking. I suppose we'll have to risk it. Noah," the slacker stiffened at his name, "why don't you go first and make sure it's safe?" Alejandro asked with a charmingly devious smile.

"Sure thing," Noah said with another awkward smile, causing Justin to raise an eyebrow in confusion yet again. The slacker stepped up to the bridge, and the shot shifted to show the splintery boards and decrepit rope. A gust of wind caused it to creak ominously, and Noah gulped. "Well, here goes everything," he said with blatantly false optimism before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

He screamed in terror as he ran all the way across the bridge, making it to the other side without issue. Once he'd opened his eyes to confirm it, he turned back around and donned a confident smile. "Hey, no sweat! Cross away, boys!" he called out to his teammates.

Alejandro and Justin did so at their leisure. "Hey, so is it just me," Justin said in a hushed voice, "or is Noah acting weirdly friendly?"

"It's not just you," Alejandro replied. "It seems Noah has decided that his best chances lie with us, and has decided to ingratiate himself to me." Justin gave him a blank look. "He's doing things for me so that I let him join our alliance."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense," Justin said with a nod of dawning comprehension. "Good for us," he smiled.

xxx

"More like good for _Alejandro_ ," Justin corrected in the ruined confessional, looking about the same as he had in previous clips despite the time difference. "Noah's only been doing stuff for him and not me, and my brain is telling me that spells trouble," he said, tapping his head before pausing, licking his fingers, and moving a lock of hair back into its usual place. "I don't want Noah taking _Alejandro's_ side when I make my move."

xxx

The two handsome young men reached the other side of the bridge to find their teammate struggling with a beaver that had bitten on to his shirt. "Would you...stop it?" Noah grunted, finally succeeding in removing the rodent but tearing off the front of his shirt in doing so. The beaver quickly spat the piece of cloth in Noah's face. "Uggh," he said in displeasure, walking the growling and squirming thing back towards the cliff.

As he passed his teammates the camera zoomed in to show Alejandro watching with disinterest while Justin tapped his chin in thought. The model seemed to have a sudden idea, and grabbed Noah's arm and took the beaver from him. "Hold on," he said, "I think I just came up with a good idea." His teammates looked at hims skeptically, but he just grinned slyly and looked between them. "Okay, stay with me here, but if we used the _beaver_ to cut down the _bridge_? That way nobody else would be able to cross it."

"Yeah, including the rest of our team," Noah said dryly.

"I have to agree with Noah," Alejandro said. "While Jasmine would likely be able to cross the gorge without it, Scott needs all the help he can get."

"Huh, good point," Justin conceded.

"Then let's get going, we're almost there," Alejandro said before running off into the woods with Noah. Justin shrugged and tossed the beaver over his shoulder into the gorge, then ran off as well.

/

The shot cut to the falling beaver as it landed in the river, causing a large splash that drenched Scott and Izzy.

"Aagh, where did _that_ come from?" the farmer said, shooting an annoyed scowl upwards.

"The sky," Izzy answered happily causing Scott to turn his scowl to her.

"Nobody asked you," he said, wringing out his tanktop and walking away. The camera pulled back to show Izzy tiptoeing after him with a mischievous look on her face. Scott suddenly turned back around, causing the wild child to stop in her tracks and whistle innocently. "Why are you following me, anyway? Did you forget that we're on different teams?"

" _Are_ we, Scott?" Izzy said in a contrary tone. "Are we _really_?"

" _Yes_ ," Scott said emphatically before walking away again.

Izzy blinked. "Oh, hahaha, you're totally right...," she laughed and began to follow him along the river. "But I don't really care," she said, her voice taking on a devious quality. "The night is still young, and my _plans_ have yet to come to fruition."

"Do your ' _plans_ ' involve getting me to the finish line?" Scott asked.

He was answered by a fit of low, evil laughter. "Oh, you'll _wish_ they did...," Izzy said. "El Maléfico _greatly_ looks forward to the sound of your screams. Oh sí, sí! It will be _muy_ bueno."

"Would you quit it with that elma- _whatever_ thing already?" the farmer said. "Go be weird somewhere else."

"No thanks," Izzy said, grinning deviously then darting up next to Scott and shoving him into the river while he was startled.

Seconds after he disappeared under the water her leaped back out of it with a panicked scream, turtles and fishing biting onto him. Izzy laughed.

/

A flash took the scene to the treetops, Ella's song still quite clear in the night sky as Shawn and Jasmine jumped from branch to branch and tree to tree. A pack of owls flew at them only to be knocked away by a few well-placed punches and kicks from the two survivalists, and the two continued onwards.

"You know, I think we make a pretty great team," Jasmine said happily as the background singing started to rise up.

"Uhh, yeah, I guess," Shawn replied in a level tone, not looking at her before he jumped onward.

"It's too bad we aren't on the same side anymore," she continued with a little more force in her voice, "I _really_ enjoy hanging out with you."

"Thanks," he said offhandedly, suddenly stopping on a tall pine. Holding up a hand for Jasmine to stay quiet, Ella's singing grew even louder. "Oh man," he said in a growing panic, "she's _close_."

"That's good, right?" Jasmine asked. "We can just grab her and stop her from causing any more trouble."

"I'm not sure that's-" Shawn began to say, but Jasmine had already started climbing.

The shot cut to the treetops as Jasmine reached the pine's peak and looked around...only for the shot to pull back and reveal Ella floating above her. The singer still seemed to be in an almost trance-like state, carried by the same group of vicious-looking bluebirds but with several other birds and bats circling around her.

Shawn stuck his head up above the trees, noticed Jasmine's wide-eyed gaze, then looked up to see Ella as well. He gulped. "Yup, this is what I was afraid of," he muttered.

A sharp note played as the birds and bats surrounding the singer all turned to the two survivalists as one. "I think it's time we headed back down," Shawn said nervously.

"Agreed," Jasmine said with a worried tone of her own, and the two dropped. A dramatic tune played as the flock dove after them, bringing the ever-singing Ella along for the ride.

/

A flash took the scene to the finish line, composed of two logs stuck upright in the ground with a line of bulb-shaped lights strung between them. Alejandro, Justin, and Noah soon arrived from the left and crossed it, the slacker collapsing onto his belly in exhaustion while his teammates bent over to catch their breaths.

"We...we made it, amigos," Alejandro said, clutching their map in his fist.

"Yeah," Justin said as he looked around, "but where's Chris? Usually he meets us at the finish."

"I'm right here!" the host answered, arriving with Chef in their jeep – which, along with the two adults, looked considerably beat up.

"Woah, what happened to you guys?" Justin asked.

"What do _you_ think?" Chris said with a scowl. "More importantly, looks like you guys are still down a couple of players. Wonder if they got eaten?"

"They _better_ not have," Noah said irritably, raising his head to look around as his teammates did the same.

Their attention was quickly drawn to the left as Lightning arrived, still carrying Gwen and Courtney over his shoulders.

"Shoo! Shoo!" Courtney said, swatting at a bird that had latched on to the uber-jock's sausage tail.

"Get outta here!" Gwen told a different bird, taking off her bacon hat to hit it with. The bird seemed to ignore the blow, however, but eagerly grabbed the hat from the goth's hand. Its companion quickly bit on as well, and the two began a tug-of-war over the meat as they flew off out of sight.

Lightning skidded across the finish line, panting for breath. "Man," he griped as he set his teammates down, "how did you guys get ahead of us? Lightning was _sure_ he was gonna get here first!"

"Well, we _did_ have a map," Alejandro answered with a smug smile, waggling the map in his fist.

Lightning crossed his arms and huffed in annoyance, leading Gwen to place a hand on his shoulder. "Don't let it bother you," she told him. "It doesn't really matter that they got here before us."

"Exactly," Courtney chimed in. "We're both still missing team members, so the challenge isn't over yet. _Right_ , Gwen?" she asked with a pointed look at the goth.

Gwen gave a short sigh. "Yeah, I guess I was wrong about thinking we were better off turning back," she conceded. "Especially seeing how _messed up_ Chris and Chef are," she said, the camera panning back to the two adults in their jeep.

"Hey, you three aren't exactly camera-ready yourselves," Chris shot back in annoyance.

xxx

"Okay, so _sometimes_ Courtney is right about things," Gwen confessed in the wrecked outhouse. "That doesn't mean I'm going to start trusting her again."

xxx

The music rose up grand and eerie as Ella's singing grew louder, causing those gathered at the finish line to tense up in fright and look around. "Okay," Chris said, "those other guys better hurry it up so I can get outta here."

"Shouldn't we be getting mauled right now?" Noah chimed in warily. "I doubt all the killer animals just decided to take a break."

As if on cue, Scott ran past across finish line screaming at the top of his lungs and flailing his arms in panic. Courtney pursed her lips in aggravation as he neared them, and stuck her arm straight out in time to clothesline him. "Would you stop that?" she told him, the farmer lying on his back in the dirt.

"Hey, you'd scream too if you were being chased by _that_ ," Scott said sharply, thrusting a finger in the direction he'd come from.

The camera quick-panned over to Izzy, four sets of arms raised and ready as she backed away from a rather sizable pack of snarling woodland creatures – deer and beavers and squirrels and even an alligator. "Back, I say! _Back_!" she barked, tossing her bacon hat and sausage tail to the beasts, which quickly tore them apart to Izzy's shock. She chuckled nervously, and resumed backing away. "Okay, you guys _totally_ need to start respecting El Maléfico, okay? I am _not_ one to be messed with."

The alligator lunged at her with a hiss and a snap, causing her to yelp and dash away. The animals started to pursue, but immediately paused and looked back as Ella's song drew even closer. Izzy was shown crossing the finish line, and her teammates quickly ran up to her.

"Izzy, what's going on?" Courtney asked as the wild child caught breath. "Why did those animals stop chasing you?"

"Beats me," Izzy answered, "but I'm preeeetty sure it's not good." She and the other Heroes sent concerned looks back to the left, and the camera quick-panned all the way back to the far side of the bridge.

Shawn and Jasmine came out into the open at a full sprint, the shorter survivalist covered in mud and his meat-clothing unaccounted for. "Okay, shoulda guessed that camouflage wasn't gonna work right now," he said as he and Jasmine reached the bridge.

Behind them, a veritable army of animals emerged from the forest in snarling pursuit – bears, alligators, moose, and smaller mammals of all species known to live on the island. They were joined by the flock of birds and bats that served as Ella's escort, with the entranced singer appearing at the tail end of their group.

"We're almost there," Shawn said as he and Jasmine reached the end of the shaking and rickety rope bridge.

"Just gotta ditch the mob and we'll be golden," Jasmine added, stopping at the anchor posts of the bridge and pulling one with all her might until it snapped. The shot cut to the army of beasts that was thundering across the bridge, the boards abruptly dropping out from under them and causing the pack to plunge to the river below with rather stunned looks on their faces.

Except, of course, for the birds and bats and Ella herself, who kept flying onward across the gorge. The haunting song took over the entire audio track as the scene moved to Shawn and Jasmine running for their lives down the path, only to be confronted by the smaller group of animals that had previously been attacking Izzy. Those at the finish line were shown gasping in shock and horror as the two survivalists began to fight through their attackers with Jasmine fiercely at the fore. Shawn delivered a swift karate chop to a beaver that had jumped at his former teammates from behind, then looked back over his shoulder with growing dread – Ella and her flock were approaching, her song growing louder and louder.

His wide-eyed fear was broken when Jasmine grabbed him by the collar and dragged him onward down the path. The animals she'd knocked away to do so, however, quickly regrouped and gave chase with the swarm of flying things soon overtaking them.

Just as the birds and bats began to peck and dive at the two campers, the shot cut up to the Blue Harvest Moon as an ominous tune rose up over Ella's otherworldly dirge. The celestial body's hue suddenly returned to normal, and as it did so another ring of light pulsed out from it. The golden light soon passed over human and animal alike with a short chime, and the song came to an abrupt stop.

Everything skidded to a halt in sudden confusion. The horde of animals looked around for only a moment before scattering into the woods, and the birds that had been carrying Ella slowly set the now-unconscious girl onto the ground before flying off as well.

Shawn and Jasmine spent a silent moment looking at her before a call came out from further up the path. "Come on, Shawn! Finish the challenge!" Courtney yelled, the camera panning back to the finish line to show the other eight campers waiting anxiously. The ex-villainess' cry was only the first, and within seconds the rest of the cast were shouting for their teammates to hurry up and win. A much more typical tense challenge theme rose up quickly, and the two survivalists shared a confident smile before they took off at a sprint.

The lead went back and forth between them as they ran, but their race soon came to a close with Shawn crossing mere paces before Jasmine. The Heroes cheered, and the music blared in triumph.

"And the _Villains_ win!" Chris announced with glee despite his current state. The Hamsters' celebration immediately died down into a murmur of confusion as Alejandro, Scott, and Justin smiled smugly.

" _Crap_ ," Gwen swore in sudden realization, "Ella!" Her teammates straightened up in surprise, and turned their gazes back down the path.

The shot cut to Ella, propped up on one hand with her legs folded under her. Her eyes were closed, but her left hand held her forehead as she groaned as if in pain.

A few deep notes were struck as the campers exchanged wary looks.

/

The footage skipped ahead to the elimination ceremony, showing the island from a distance before cutting to the blazing firepit.

"Okay, that was an eventful night," Chris said, the camera panning up to show that he had gotten cleaned up and changed back into fresh clothes. "Nothing like some mortal peril to shake things up a bit, right?" he said over shots of Courtney and Gwen taking their seats and stealing a blank glance at one another before determinedly looking away; Jasmine smiling at Shawn as he passed the Peanut Gallery only to frown in confusion at his awkward smile and hasty exit; and Scott resting his chin on his hand as he sent an odd look at Courtney, the camera pulling back and refocusing to show her completely oblivious. All the campers looked as torn-up and bedraggled as they had at the end of the challenge, though the remaining meat-accessories had been discarded.

"And of course, we _all_ know who to thank for it," Chris said with his usual smile as the focus moved back to him. " _Right_ , Ella?" he asked with sharp and sudden anger, the camera panning over to the singing princess. There was a noticeable gap between her and her teammates, who were still giving her cautious looks as she folded her hands in her lap and whimpered pitifully.

xxx

"The others are right to be afraid of me," Ella told the outhouse camera, her voice hoarse and her eyes back to their usual color though not their light. "I know I am. What I did was _awful_ , and I remember every second of it. What's even worse is what I was _trying_ to do..." She sighed. "I don't think I'll be able to forget tonight for a _very_ long time..."

xxx

"Now, as the Villains sucked relatively _less_ ," Chris continued, "they get to enjoy another night of _luxurious_ luxury at whatever is left of the spa hotel."

"I volunteer for exile!" Jasmine quickly stood and raised her hand. "I'm the only one of us that can still handle it after tonight," she explained.

"Meh, I don't care," Chris shrugged.

"Me neither," Scott said with a small smirk from the seat next to her, earning looks of surprise and confusion from Justin, Alejandro, and Noah in the row behind.

"Uh, then I guess I'm off," Jasmine said before a clamp descended next to her to a triumphant tune. She used it as a foothold and grabbed the rope it was attached to, and the helicopter flew her off into the night.

The camera panned back down to Chris at his makeshift podium. "Okay Heroes, it's time to vote!"

xxx

A few drumbeats opened the voting confessional as each Hamster voted quickly and silently – Lightning first, then Courtney, Izzy, Shawn, Gwen, and Ella at the end with a forlorn expression.

xxx

The elimination theme began to play as Chris leafed through the stacks of photos he was holding. "Well then," he announced after a second, "in an _un_ surprising turn of events, the vote is completely unanimous. Izzy, Lightning, Shawn, Gwen, and Courtney, you're all safe," he said, quickly tossing marshmallows to the campers in question from a tray resting on his oil drum. "Ella, you're out."

"I know," the singer said, her voice still hoarse and her smile sad as she stood up. "I voted for myself to be sure. Despite what I did tonight," she told her former teammates, "I hope you all enjoy the rest of the competition."

The remaining Heroes averted their gazes awkwardly, but Ella nodded in understanding.

/

A flash took the scene forward to the docks, the sombre farewell them playing as the Heroic Hamsters watched their former fellow tread water in the giant toilet bowl. "You know, coming into the season I thought I would sing a song when I was voted out," Ella said sadly. "But I don't think that's appropriate anymore."

"Yeah, it isn't," Chris told her, pressing the button on his remote and giving the singer the Flush of Shame. She remained silent as she spun out of sight.

Chris took a deep breath, the turned around to face the camera with his usual smile. "If you think the campers have been through enough punishment, think again!" he said as the capstone theme began to play. "Find out who's next to take the plunge when we return with another all-new episode of Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The honking of countless car horns could be heard as the scene faded in to a manhole cover in the middle of a sidewalk. It began to shake and clatter, then suddenly fly off entirely as Ella rose up out of it atop something white and scaly. She stepped off onto the sidewalk, then bent down and gave the white thing a pat and a sweet but sad smile. "Thank you, Mr. Alligator," she said. "Have a nice life in the sewers!"

The tip of the albino alligator's snout disappeared back down the hole, and with a grunt of effort Ella replaced the cover. Once it was in place she stood and wiped the sweat from her forehead, then put her hands on her hips and looked around. "Well then, now what?" she asked herself.

Her answer came in the form of a flat note and a gruff "A _hem_?" that caused the camera to pan to the right.

"Oh!" Ella said in surprise. "Tyler! Ezekiel! I'm oh so sorry, I didn't see you there. I have a lot on my mind."

"'s no problem," Tyler said with a cheesy grin and nod. He was sitting in a wheelchair, his arms in slings and his legs in casts. "I can tell you're feeling pretty down about being eliminated, but me and Zeke are here to cheer you up."

"Yup," Ezekiel said, holding the handles of his friend's chair. "Well, that and to bring you back to Canada, eh. Though since we're in New York City I guess we could catch a show or something."

Ella blinked. "New York?" she repeated, and the shot cut outward to show the city's skyline. She sighed as the focus moved back to her and her friends. "Well, as much as I'd like to be happy about being back here I really can't. I've done something _horrible_ because of the Blue Harvest Moon," she explained, "and I don't really think I _deserve_ to be cheered up."

"Oh," Tyler said, his face falling.

"Err, well," Ezekiel spoke up, a thoughtful finger on his chin, "I don't really get it, eh, but if the moon caused it then maybe it wasn't really your fault?"

"I suppose...," Ella conceded, "but I still feel _really_ guilty."

"Well, I guess you can't help it then," Ezekiel told her. "Still, the past ain't somethin' you can change, eh. You just gotta accept what happened and try to move on. You can't live in a time that don't exist anymore."

"Deep, bro," Tyler said in awe.

Ella gave him a small smile. "Thank you. I'll try, but I won't promise it'll work out."

"That's okay," Tyler told her. "You just keep trying, and in the meantime _I'll_ be cheerful _for_ you," he said exuberantly, shifting his shoulders as if he were trying to pump a fist.

Ella couldn't help but giggle slightly. "Well if you insist," she told him, and the three began to journey down the sidewalk together.

"Right, so," Tyler said as the perspective moved behind them, "first of all, I totally met this _awesome_ girl at the meeting the other day. Remember, Zeke?" he asked his buddy. "That really hot blonde?"

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And that, dear readers, is pretty much the entire reason why I wanted Ella in this season. I regret not finding room for Alejandro to explain what was going on in more detail, so here's what went down: Ella, friend of animals that she is, was affected by the Blue Harvest Moon and basically turned into an evil singing machine. While her song is normally known to turn aggressive animals friendly (see: the Rapa Nui condors), because of the moon she instead makes passive animals aggressive. So that meant everything was aggressive, as well as coordinated into basically an army to wreck the camp and campers.

From a story perspective, this resulted in an increased sense of danger compared to the canon episode, thus providing a reason for the cast to split up into smaller groups and also be more forced to work together for their own survival. I'm not sure if it entirely makes up for the lack of Jo in this season, but I came up with the idea of Ella going berserk pretty early on in planning and I just didn't want to give up on it. I hope you all can understand what I was going for. And also why I decided to move this episode up, as I don't think another elimination before Ella finally left would work out too well.

Incidentally, regarding the swap that took the place of the canon elimination, I'm not entirely sure if I'm going to abandon it or save it for a slightly later episode yet. In part it depends on how I feel the later episodes would handle having one fewer camper. Just something to keep in mind.

Not much else to say besides that. A bunch of things have been set into motion, or further developed if already in motion, and things are gonna be heating up. Next week we return to our regular scheduled episode order, meaning pancakes!

See you all next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)


	5. Chapter 5 - Food Fright

**Author's Note**

Welcome once again, dear readers! First off, I'd like to say that I am legitimately surprised by how many of you misinterpreted Lightning's line about the fawn's unconscious mother as meaning that he didn't actually know the real Bambi's mother died in the movie. What I had actually meant him to be alluding to was the fact that he had literally left the mother of the fawn he was punching, which as you'll recall attacked him, Gwen and Courtney along with her child and presumed mate, unconscious somewhere.

Anyway, on to the reviews!

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Ah, that so? Sorry to have to eliminate your favorite like that.

 **Tokusatsu-31st Century:** Yup, sure can't trust those Blue Harvest Moons. But hey, at least they make things entertaining, in a sense.

 **DSX62415:** Haha, yeah, too true. As for this week...well, I don't think it'll top last week's danger, at least.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks, as always.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Mmm...not much I can say, but I'm glad you've been enjoying Izzy, and that I hope you enjoy what I have in store for the Villains. And the Heroes too, for that matter.

 **bruno14:** Wow, really? 'm actually pretty happy you were creeped out by that, I wasn't sure I had gotten the mood of the song right. Interesting thoughts as always, and you're certainly right that you don't have to like all the characters. I hope you enjoy the rest of the season.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Haha, I'm glad I could improve the episode for you. Horror-type episodes aren't strictly my favorites, but I'm glad I wrote a good one.

 **Animation Adventures:** I'm honestly not surprised you find it so strange, it's definitely not my usual fare. Though I am surprised more people didn't expect Ella to be affected by the moon, since it seemed so obvious to me. But maybe that's just my personal bias? I don't know. I'm glad you're enjoying how things are proceeding with the Villains, and I hope you like what's to come as well.

 **Sir Peter of Fanfiction:** As I explained above, Lightning was referring to the fact that he'd actually knocked out that specific deer's mother off-screen. He is, as far as I know, aware of the actual Bambi's mother's fate. Knowing what his father is like, I can't see him allowing his son to be told a lie about a cartoon deer to spare his feelings.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks, I'm glad you liked the idea. A part of me wasn't sure how well it'd turn out, but it seems it was an unwarranted concern.

 **OMAC001:** Great to hear you liked it so much. I hope my next couple ideas/twists live up to the standard it's set.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Surprisingly, it wasn't so obvious to everyone, but that's fine. And yeah, I guess the challenge was a little hard to follow at times, though I guess that's what I get for splitting people up into smaller groups and cutting between them all the time. I'm glad you enjoyed the plans bumping into one another, even if it's only been for the Villains. But I suppose that's to be expected, as scheming and plotting doesn't really come natural to most of the Heroes except Courtney, who's basically trying to keep that side of herself down right now. Other than that, I'm glad the bonus clips are growing on you!

 **Guest #1:** Ohoho, yes, so many questions left to be answered. I'm glad you enjoyed my inclusion of Ella this season, as you implied it's another effect of the nature of the Shuffledverse that I'm able to explore such possibilities that aren't open to stories that follow canon more closely.

 **ashDanLand:** I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! The Lightning-Courtney-Gwen part was pretty fun to write, as was the trio of Villains though for a much different reason. I hope I can keep up this level of quality for the rest of the season.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Thanks, I'm happy you're liking how Courtney and Gwen are coming along. No potential relationship is without its issues and that includes Shawn and Jasmine are no exception, and I don't know if I would call Jasmine lucky for being on the winning team four nights in a row considering the circumstances behind it. Though Courtney is definitely unlucky. Oh, and I am going with Food Fright this week - I'm pretty sure I did say only the two episodes would be out of order, after all.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Lol, I'm glad somebody noticed what I did to Slender Man. And I figured you'd be excited once you realized Ella was getting the axe, even if you weren't expecting exactly what would go down. Regarding the song being hard to place, well, there weren't any lyrics so it wasn't really easy for even me to get a finger on it. It's...a song of nightmares, I guess, something that you know is incredibly, terrifyingly creepy, but you can never quite follow along with it or remember how it went later. Mysterious, but perhaps a bit too much so for text.  
That aside, I'm glad you're enjoying how most things are coming along. Regarding Shazmine, since in canon the conflict between them was primarily a result of Shawn messing things up, in this AU I figured it would be neat to flip that around - Jasmine basically already knows how Shawn is so I can't use the zombie thing for drama, so I went with Jasmine knowing more than Shawn thinks she should (among other things) to keep it interesting.  
Regarding the team swap, after much consideration, plotting, and re-plotting, I'm leaning pretty heavily towards either keeping the swap outright, or if not including some other form of non-elimination round. A big part of this is in fact the Final Four - not the challenge, but rather the actual campers. My goal right now is to make all four of them entirely plausible and/or deserving as winners, basically, and part of that is keeping the tension high regarding who will actually make the finale for as long as possible. Having a Final Three won't hide the finalists as well, as the nature of the final challenge may make one of the possible pairs more obvious. I haven't decided what exactly this means for the episode 12 bonus clip, however.  
Speaking of the bonus clips...interesting thoughts on them, I look forward to seeing your reactions to the ones I have planned.

 **TotalDramaJudge:** Yeah, pretty much. A new side of Ella was shown, scaring her and those around her. She had an okay run, but as a character she wasn't too important to the plot outside of causing some things to move last week. I'm glad you're enjoying things, and I don't really agree with your thought that Noah's acting a little OOC. Maybe it isn't what people are used to seeing, but he did act rather like a suck-up in canon World Tour when he realized he'd been caught badmouthing Alejandro. The way Jasmine is acting towards Shawn I can see you objecting to, but there is a reason behind it and I don't think it's entirely OOC for her to be acting this way considering the nature of the Shuffledverse. Well, regardless, I hope you enjoy what comes next.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Well, far from terrible is the least I could hope for lol. I'm glad Ella's dark side made for an enjoyable read.

 **The Prime Writer** : Haha, maybe a little under par considering the sheer level of danger I put in last week's challenge. But yeah, Ella had her go at the game and while she wasn't too important most of the time, she has certainly left her mark. Regarding Gwen and Courtney, well, I can certainly see where you're coming from as a generally forgiving person, though I don't think Gwen is the same way - think about how she was in canon season one. As for Jasmine...well, some interesting analysis anyway. I do hope my plan for her goes over well. The other Villains certainly have some complicated stuff going on between them, I think, and that's another bit of plot I'm hoping goes over well as it resolves. We're not quite at the half-way point, so there's still a lot left to happen in this season.

 **FOWLKON:** I'm glad you liked my decision to go with Ella as the technical antagonist for last week's episode, then. Though I hardly think it was Emmy-worthy. And...yeah, the bonus scene was hinting that, among other things, Tyler and Lindsay have met.

 **BuckJohnson:** Huh. I mean, a plot between Ella and Izzy could certainly have been interesting, but I never really had anything like it in mind while I was planning and writing this season - Ella was gonna go in Moon Madness, and Izzy...well, she still has her part to play. I already addressed the fact that Lightning is aware what happened in the movie Bambi, but as for the four eliminated finalists in a row thing...I honestly didn't even realize that until now. Granted, nearly everyone from the first generation that's competing this season was a finalist at some point (with Scott the sole exception), so it isn't entirely unusual I guess? I don't know. Anyway, interesting predictions as always.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Fair enough, fair enough, and congratulations on graduating! Sorry for disappointing you with Sugar's early elimination, but it kinda had to happen. Same with Harold's to be honest, though at least he was able to accomplish something on the way out. I'm a little disappointed that you still would've liked Jo over Ella, but I've accepted that she's just not the most popular character in the Shuffledverse. Interesting predictions and thoughts, and I hope you enjoy what happens this week.

 **moka evans:** Awesome, I'm glad you enjoyed Ella's part last week! Interesting ideas for what the Villains might plan, but as for what really happens...well, you'll find out sooner or later.

 **Bookfisher:** Yup, every power has its price - and Ella's is the Blue Harvest Moon, basically. As for what's going on with Jasmine...all will be revealed in due time.

 **I. M. Poik:** Haha, you weren't alone. Though honestly it just felt so natural to me, I'm surprised more people weren't expecting it. And don't worry, I'm not gonna be swapping anymore episodes. We have Food Fright this week, and after that it's back to the canon episode order.

 **Icetundra:** Well, Ella just seemed like the perfect person to be affected by the moon. Sorry I couldn't describe her tune better, but since there's no words to it and I'm not actually good at describing music to begin with, I just decide to leave it as a sort of mysterious thing, like something that would terrify you in a dream but which you'd forget as soon as you woke up. I'm glad you're enjoying the tension between Shawn and Jasmine, Gwen and Courtney, and Justin and Alejandro, and I hope you enjoy what happens next.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Err, sorry, but I don't recall ever making it a goal to not skip the final three. I know I moved the double elimination up it in Action but that was because it made more sense to me then; since then there hasn't actually been a time the Final Three was skipped in canon. Sorry, but I'm probably going to do so this season - after thinking about it, I decided that since I want all members of the Final Four to be presented as viable finalists it would be better to just skip from them to the Final Two. Putting the Final Three in between would make certain pairs of finalists more obvious, and would remove some tension from the deciding challenge. But I do hope it doesn't ruin the rest of the season for you, as it's clear you've been enjoying it so far.

 **link9753:** Ah, sorry to have to eliminate her then. But I just really liked the idea for Moon Madness, and there's no way it could end without her elimination.

 **Star Saber21:** Well, any tool or ability is only as god as the person using it. If Ella's personality is reversed by the Blue Harvest Moon, then it's only natural for her to use her singing for evil. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed last week's chapter and I hope you enjoy next week's as well.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Hah, yeah, it's not too often that this series gets too dark. As for Jasmine, there are definitely reasons behind her actions towards Shawn that will be revealed with time. Scott's got a lot on his plate write now, and while I did enjoy him in canon All-Stars for a few reasons I think I like my current portrayal of him better. At least, it works better in the story. As for Ella...well, what she did is gonna stay with her for a very long time, though even I don't know all the effects it'll have.

 **wifishark:** Then I'm glad you enjoyed it. I know Ella didn't have much of a role elsewhere, but she did at least leave her mark. And yeah, the Shuffledverse has certainly changed the dynamic between Shawn and Jasmine, and I'm pretty happy about it all things considered. I'm glad you enjoyed the Lightning-Courtney-Gwen group, they were pretty fun to write.

That's the reviews done, so it's time for those last few bits you've all come to expect by now. First off, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

Second, here's the current team roster:

Heroic Hamsters: Gwen, Izzy, Lightning, Shawn, Courtney

Villainous Vultures: Alejandro, Justin, Noah, Scott, Jasmine

We've got an even 5 vs 5 showdown, folks! Pancakes and bodies are gonna be flying this week, so I hope you're all prepared.

Enjoy!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 5 – Food Fright**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened over a shot of the Blue Harvest Moon becoming active, sending its pulse of light through the sky and forest. "The island was bathed in a rare Blue Harvest Moon," the host said, "that turns normally sweet creatures into _pure evil_!" The light was shown exerting its influence on the squirrel that had been pinned to a tree by a bear; the rodent growled viciously and leaped at the bear, and quickly gained the unseen upperhand.

"And nobody was affected more than _Ella_ ," he said as the singer was shown fainting under the moonlight, then waking up under its influence and downing Lightning. "Thanks to her super spooky singing," the entranced young woman was shown being lifted into the air in mid-song by several bluebirds, "what should have just been an incredibly _unsafe_ nighttime challenge instead became a _mortally dangerous_ one." He laughed nervously as Alejandro, Justin, and Noah dealt with a swarm of bats; Lightning punched out a fawn; and Shawn and Jasmine ran across the rope bridge from the army of woodland creatures that had been brought together.

"Seriously," Chris said as he and Chef were shown fleeing from the wrecked spa hotel in terror, " _I_ almost died last night!"

"The campers were forced to split up," he continued over short clips of Scott meeting up with Izzy, Jasmine with Shawn, Noah pulling a skunk off Alejandro's hind end, and Lightning throwing Gwen and Courtney over his shoulders. "But despite their many differences, all found their way to the finish line...eventually." The three Villains were shown crossing first, then the three Heroes. "In the end," the Blue Harvest Moon was shown reverting to normal, then Shawn crossed the finish line before Jasmine, "the Villains won _again_ ," Ella was shown waking up on the ground nearby, "and it was no surprise when the Heroes gave the source of all the night's troubles the ol' Flush-a-roo." The Singing Princess' final farewell was shown next, ending the recap montage.

"But that was then, and this is now," Chris said, now on the Dock of Shame. "And we can't stop it so we gotta top it, right here! On Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A deep note opened the scene as it faded into a thunderstorm. A few more accompanied the distant rumbling of the clouds over Wawanakwa, and the shot cut to the loser's cabin as the emblem of the Heroic Hamsters appeared on-screen. Another cut put the camera in the girls' side, revealing Izzy and Gwen sharing a set of bunks on the left, Courtney alone in the top bunk across from them, and all three sleeping peacefully despite several leaks in the roof.

A sudden slamming noise startled the girls awake. Their door was kicked open by a large, shadowy figure with narrow eyes, who stepped into the room but not quite into view. Gwen and Courtney and Izzy screamed in terror, but the figure soon stepped forward again to reveal himself as Chef Hatchet, carrying a large and bulky bag on his shoulder. He smirked and tossed the bag into the room, and it exploded into a cloud of brown powder that left the girls coughing and cringing in disgust.

xxx

"Uggh, powdered _gruel_?" Gwen complained in the outhouse, her head and shoulders coated with the brown powder and several clumps lodged in her hair. The damage that had been done to the confessional the previous challenge had, apparently, already been repaired. "He could've at _least_ bothered to cook the stuff. Although there's really not much you can do to make _sawdust_ taste better."

xxx

"I wish Chef would pass on the whole 'Bed and Breakfast' thing and let us _starve_ instead," Courtney said in the next confessional, also covered in powdered gruel. "It would be more humane."

xxx

The scene returned to the girls' room as Izzy swipe a bit of powder off her face with a single finger and tasted it. "Huh," she said blankly, "I don't know why but I thought that was gonna taste better." She shrugged, then swung her legs over the side of her top bunk and dropped to the floor. Gwen and Courtney were already out of bed as well, and were brushing the gruel off themselves when Izzy threw her arms around their shoulders and pulled them in close. "Man, the three of us in a room together...sure brings back old memories, y'know?" she said cheerily.

"Uh, _yeah_ ," Gwen said dryly, removing Izzy's arm only for another one to immediately take its place. "None of them good ones."

"C'mon, don't say that," Courtney told her. "We had some pretty good times, remember? Like...beating Justin together, and...that fashion challenge."

"Yeah, and then the two of _you_ conspired to vote me off," Gwen said, throwing off Izzy's other arm and stepping away before she could be grabbed again.

"I keep telling you I'm sorry about that," Courtney said anxiously.

"Maybe you are, but don't expect me to trust you anytime soon," Gwen replied before a loud boom and a shrill scream from the wall behind them got the girls' attention.

"Huh, sounds like Lightning's awake," Izzy said happily.

xxx

"Man, this stuff ain't even protein!" the uber-jock complained, scooping a chunk of gruel off his head and looking at it with disgust. "Lucky _Shawn_ , gets to sleep outside in the rain and miss breakfast," he sulked.

xxx

/

The scene moved to the boy in question, sitting in the bough of his usual tree looking up at the rain. He sighed.

xxx

"When I first met Jasmine last year," he confessed, "I thought she was amazing, practically _perfect_! Heck, maybe even worth sacrificing myself to the undead horde for, as crazy as it sounds. So naturally I was pretty excited to be on the show with her. But after everything that's happened, I'm just not sure she's who she seems. I mean, how could she possibly know so much stuff about me? It's like she's a member of some shadowy organization that's been keeping tabs on me and is trying to get close. But who? And _why_?"

xxx

The background music turned dark and ominous as the scene moved to the rebuilt spa hotel, the logo of the Villainous Vultures appearing on-screen before the shot cut to a darkened bedroom. Thunder crashed and lightning flashed outside its windows, and the camera panned leftward across the slumbering villains – first Justin, then Alejandro, then Noah, and finally...an empty bed, with Scott standing over it. The farmer's hands were cupped together and his mouth was twisted into a devious smirk, and the camera zoomed in on his head as he placed whatever he was holding onto his bed. "There, right where Uncle Scotty wants you," he whispered, pulling the bedsheets up over whatever he'd just set down. He gave it a few short pats, then walked away snickering to himself.

The camera panned down onto Noah, a few low notes playing as he opened his eyes. Silently propping himself up on one elbow he sent a confused look in the direction his teammate had gone in, then looked back at the vacated bed and shrugged, The perspective shifted as Noah got out of his own bed, and with a cautious look at the two sleeping beauties behind him he crept over and uncovered the obvious lump.

He immediately gaped in silent shock, and the camera zoomed in dramatically on the small wooden carving of Chris McLean's head sitting on the bed. A pan upward showed Noah once again glancing around nervously, then reaching out and picking up the idol. He turned it over...and his face fell into dull disbelief. He rolled his eyes, dropped the statue back on the bed, covered it back up, and walked away.

xxx

"Wanna know a fun fact about the invincibility statues?" Noah asked the outhouse camera. "On the bottom they've got some kind of sticker," he made an oval shape with his fingers, "the 'McLean Seal of Authenticity' or something. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the game who even _knows_ about them seeing how I'm the only one who's found a statue, and I never exactly had a reason to bring it up last year. Point is, Weasel Boy's invincibility statue is as fake as the _real_ Chris, and either he doesn't know it or he deliberately whittled it himself to trick us. And honestly," he shrugged, "as long as whatever he's scheming doesn't blow up in the faces of me or the amazon I'm playing _mole_ for I really don't care."

xxx

Alejandro was the next to awaken, stretching his arms and yawning as he sat up in his bed. His gaze moved to his left onto Justin, still sleeping soundly with a pink mask over his eyes. On the other side, the arch villain saw two empty beds, but shrugged uncaringly. "Hopefully those two didn't steal the good seats," he said to himself as he stood.

The shot cut to him walking past Scott's bed, only to pause upon seeing the noticeable lump near the pillow. "Hello, what do we have hear?" he said to himself, an eyebrow raised in wary cautious curiosity as he walked over and uncovered the fake idol. He gasped, but his shock quickly faded into a dark smile.

xxx

"Well, well, well," Alejandro said in the confessional, casually tossing the carving in one hand. "It seems Scott was able to find the invincibility statue during his stay on Boney Island after all. No wonder he didn't go back after the last challenge. Too bad he chose such an _obviously_ poor place to hide it, he must be even stupider than I thought. No matter," he smirked, clutching the fake idol tightly, "I'll just thank him for giving it to me."

xxx

The scene skipped ahead to show Alejandro and Justin arriving at the breakfast table with plates of meat and fruit in hand, a high-class tune playing in the background. "Good morning, bromigos," he greeted, taking a seat at the left end of the table while Scott happily gorged himself on the right and Noah ate calmly in the middle. "I trust you're enjoying your breakfast?"

"It's as disturbingly delicious as yesterday's," Noah commented as Justin took the seat next to him.

"This is the best food I've ever _had_ ," Scott said between stuffing sausages in his mouth, and wiping a single tear from his eye. "I swear, I am never gonna miss out on this again."

"Oh really?" Alejandro asked with a sly smile. "You seem fairly confident in your place in the game."

Scott nearly gagged on his food, but with a cough he recovered. "Uh, well," he said slowly and awkwardly, "I just figured that with _Jasmine_ around there's no reason to vote _me_ off, right? "

"True, there really isn't," Alejandro said, earning an odd look from Justin. "In fact, I don't think there's any reason for _any_ of us to vote for someone other than Jasmine the next time we lose. Right, Noah?" he asked the slacker.

"Hmm?" Noah said, looking up from his meal with a flash of panic. "Hah, yeah, whatever you say, man. Jasmine's fine with me."

xxx

"Uggh, I can't _stand_ acting like Alejandro's yes-man," Noah griped. "Why couldn't Jasmine have asked me to do something else that _isn't_ completely humiliating. I'm a winner, where's the respect for my strategy?"

xxx

"I don't expect that Noah is _truly_ on my side," Alejandro confessed. "None of them are. But with the invincibility statue I'm practically untouchable, and pretty soon _all_ of them will be dancing to my strings."

xxx

"Okay," Chris announced over the loudspeaker, the storm having quickly petered off, "now that the weather's cleared up, get your waterlogged butts to the beach for today's beatdown! I mean...," he quickly corrected, " _challenge_!"

/

The scene immediately skipped ahead to the nine teens assembling in front of the host on a patch of grass just inland from the beach.

"Welcome, contestants," he greeted them. "Before we get started, let's bring back last night's exile – _Jasmine_!" He directed their attention upwards with a single pointed finger, and a quick-pan put the camera on the helicopter as Chef maneuvered it over them. The shot moved down to Jasmine holding onto the line with her foot on the clamp, and with a confident smirk she jumped down.

She landed in a thunderous crouch next to the other campers. "G'day, mates," she told them, immediately focusing on her fellow survivalist. "I hope the rain wasn't too hard on ya, Shawn."

"That depends, who's asking?" Shawn shot back with a sharpness that unnerved his former teammate.

"Uhh, I am?" Jasmine replied with wary confusion.

"Hmph. A likely story," Shawn said.

"...yeah?" Jasmine said, giving him a strange look before walking over to her teammates.

xxx

"What's up with Shawn?" Jasmine asked the outhouse camera. "Did something happen while I was away?"

xxx

She immediately noticed Scott smirking at her. "Hey, so how did you night on Boney Island go? Find that invincibility statue that's _totally_ still there?" he asked with

"...no?" she answered with continued confusion that was mirrored by Justin, and even nearby Heroes Courtney and Shawn. Unbeknownst to all of them, and each other, Noah rolled his eyes and Alejandro smirked.

"Too bad," Scott said in mock apology. "I guess you'd better hope we win then, or you might just be voted out for real this time."

Jasmine pursed her lips, unamused. "Don't bother trying to intimidate me," she told him, "it's not gonna work."

"Uhh, that aside," Chris said, drawing the camera's focus back to himself, "iiiiit's _challenge time_! Chef didn't have time to cook Team Loser's breakfast this morning, because he was busy making _these_!" With rising excitement he motioned to the side, the shot quick-panning over as a dramatic tune blared to reveal two plates of truly massive syrup-drizzled pancakes atop a wooden platform over a pit of mud. Next to each stack of pancakes was a loudspeaker adorned with one of the team's logos, with the Villainous Vultures on the left and the Heroic Hamsters on the right.

"PANCAAAAKES!" the host announced. "That's right, it's ea-ting-con-test-time!" he added over an image of one of the pancake stacks against a radiant golden background, each syllable causing more and more of the stack to disappear as though being eaten. "Each team member gets one minute to scarf up as much pancake-y goodness as they can," Chris explained as the shot returned to him, taking out a stopwatch and then casually throwing it away. "When a hero's eating time is up," he said softly as the five teens in question were showing watching in a line with rather blank expressions, "they hear _this_." The Heroes' loudspeaker was shown against a light and airy background as an echoing, almost angelic chorus sounded off from it. "And, the villains get _this_ ," Chris added with a bit more edge in his voice, the Villains' loudspeaker shown against a roaring flame as a harsh squeal uttered forth.

"Then, you just have to race through a nausea-inducing obstacle course," the host said with a smile.

"Obstacle course?" Lightning repeated dismissively.

"It's a nod to the Mad Skills course from last season," Chris explained with barely-contained excitement. "The toughest parts, anyway. First, you gotta get past the Bouncy Butts," he said as the camera moved to the right of the pancakes and panned across the large red butt-shaped objects jerking up and down on thick pistons. "They're a _real pain_." The shot cut to Noah and Justin shuddering. "Then, it's on to the Retching Rolling Pin," the camera quick-panned over to the pair of logs strung together along a long metal axle and made to rotate. "And a swift kick from the Grape Crusher," the large rubber boot that had formerly been used as the aptly-named 'Kick Starter' was shown next, with a demonstration of its short but swift kicking motioning.

"Pfft, that won't be so _hard_ ," Scott scoffed.

"...really?" Chris said with an annoyed frown. "Huh. I wasn't gonna add this," he said with a false air of unwillingness, "but since Scott's _not_ impressed," he adopted an eager smile and took out a walkie-talkie, "bring it _in_!"

The music immediately turned tense and dramatic, and the shot cut upwards and outwards to show not only Chef bringing the helicopter back, but also the massive wooden ring it was now carrying. "Say hello to my metal friend!" the host said in a poorly-done Cuban accent, Chef pressing a button on his control stick to release his payload. The music peaked as the wooden ring landed perfectly on top of a metal pedestal situated on a smaller wooden dock set up in the mud. The machine was wired up to a nearby control panel being manned by the fat male intern, who flinched as the final piece was dropped.

"I call it, the 'Salad Spinner'!" Chris said before the focus moved back to him. "The perfect end to a barf-tastic course."

"Ooh-hoo- _hoo_ , how does it work?" Izzy asked with a gleeful grin as she walked over to the host.

"Probably painfully," Chris answered with a matching smile. "I don't know, we didn't have time to test it," he explained with a mischievous shrug.

"Nice one, _Scott_ ," Courtney scathingly told her former teammate.

He just snorted. "What, scared that your new team can't handle it?" he asked. "Regretting that little act of _heroism_ the other day?"

Courtney flushed. " _No_. Why would I?"

"I don't know," Chris said, "but I _do_ know Scott will probably end up regretting his words when he and all you other players have to make it through the course with _out_ barfing to get back in line and stay in the game. But, if you puke," the camera quick-panned over to a two-tiered bench sitting under a tall tree, "you're _benched_! Leaving the other players on your team to eat up _without_ your help. Once your pancake's toast, just complete the obstacle course one last time to win."

"Ready," he said, the shot zooming in slightly as the first deep note of a challenge tune played. "Set," he said, the process repeating itself. "Scarf!" With a blow of an airhorn, the music began in earnest and Lightning and Justin ran over to their teams' plate.

"Unnnh, this is gonna go straight to my hips," the model whined, picking up a handful of cake.

"Pfft, whatever," Lightning said as he began biting in to his pancake. "Lightning woulda liked these to be protein-cakes, but he ain't gonna let that stop him from doin' his sha- _duty_." He started focusing solely on eating as fast as he apparently could, and the camera briefly cut to Jasmine as she raised her eyebrows in mild surprise.

"Hurry up, Justin!" Alejandro commanded from the sidelines.

"I'm," the model said, his mouth covered in syrup and crumbs as he paused to swallow, "I'm eating as fast as I can!" With his attention diverted backwards he blindly stuck his hand in between the top two cakes...and yelped as something bit down on them. He withdrew his hand with a scream, and immediately started trying to shake off the rats that had latched onto him.

"Oh yeah," Chris said, now lounging in a deck chair with a coconut drink in hand, "there might be some booby traps and feisty ingredients in those _pain_ -cakes," he laughed.

"Whatever, dude," Lightning scoffed, "ain't no traps gonna stop _this_ train. Sha-bam!" He resumed eating with renewed vigor, sticking his entire face into the pancakes as he ate. The camera cut in close to what he was eating, showing several small blue berry-like objects get consumed alongside the oversized breakfast food.

"Eww," Chris cringed and laughed, "dude, you just ate fish eyeballs!"

"I _told_ you," Lighting looked back and said, "I ain't gonna stop for that stuff!"

"Haha, looks like _Justin_ is," the host laughed, and the camera panned back to the villainous model.

Justin shrieked in terror as a bear trap suddenly snapped out of the part he was about to eat. "Oh god, if I'd known I was risking _this_ kind of facial damage I _never_ would've volunteered to go first!" he said in wide-eyed alarm, picking the tripped trap out of his food, holding it out like it was something disgusting, and tossing it down onto the platform next to the pair of dazed rats.

It was then that the two signals sounded off – first the Heroes' chorus, and then the Villains' shriek a half-second later. ""Eatin' time's over for Lightning and Justin," Chris announced excitedly. "Now, it's _beatin_ ' time!"

Both teams began to cheer on their respective companions as the two boys raced for the bouncy butts, Lightning easily taking the lead. "Sha-boom!" the uber-jock said, leaping at them without hesitation. He did a somersault in mid-air, landing on his feet on the first one as it rose up, allowing him to launch up and over the next.

"Ooh, nice moves from Lightning," Chris said. "Meanwhile, Justin's fallen behind!" he added as the shot cut back to the wary model.

"Okay, man," he told himself, lingering at the edge of the platform, "you did this once and barely had any severe bruising. You can do this again."

"Get on with it!" Scott yelled, causing Justin to gulp and fling himself at the first butt. Just like the last time he'd done the obstacle he landed on his belly with a pained yelp, and was propelled by their motions from one to the next like a flopping fish.

"Lightning continues to impress on the rolling pin," Chris said as the uber-jock was shown easily crossing the spinning logs without losing his balance. "And surprisingly, Justin isn't _completely_ biting this one," he added as the model frantically started crossed the beam, his arms outstretched but nothing more.

The athlete was shown reaching the giant boot, getting launched forward with a cry of "Lightning _strikes_!" and a dramatic pose. He landed inside the wooden wheel of the Salad Spinner, the music peaking sharply as the intern threw a switch that started the wheel spinning. The shot cut inside as Lightning, plastered to the inner wall of the device, was spun round and round at high speed until his cheeks bulged. The ride ended after only a few seconds, a hatch opened in the side of the device, and Lightning fell out in a heap onto the dock.

"So thaaaaat's how it works," Chris commented.

An ominous chant rose up in the background as Lightning's cheeks bulged once again, earning a gasp from the Heroes and a laugh from the host. The jock managed to force it down, however, and his teammates let out a sigh of relief. "Tastes so nice, he ate it twice!" the host said mirthfully.

xxx

"Whatever, dude," Lightning told the outhouse camera, his arms crossed in irritation. "Lightning was _not_ gonna let his team down by barfin' at the last second. That _ain't_ the hero thing to do, hear?"

xxx

"Way to go, Lightning!" Gwen cheered from the sideline.

"Yes," Courtney pumped a fist. "We are _so_ winning this," she said. She and Gwen high-fived, but the moment the goth realized what had happened she frowned and looked away.

"Ooh, Izzy's next!" the wild child announced, bounding past them.

"And it looks like Justin is _finally_ reaching the end," Chris commented with a laugh, the focus cutting back to the giant boot and the model beneath it.

"Please go easy on me," he pleaded, pointing to his shapely rear, "my butt is a national treasure!"

The boot kicked him without mercy, sending him screaming into the Salad Spinner. The intern set it spinning, and seconds later it slowed down and Justin dropped out a side hatch with a pathetic moan.

"Finally," Noah said as the scene cut back to the waiting Villains. "I'm next," he volunteered, dashing forward before anyone could object.

xxx

"Do I expect to make it through this without barfing?" he asked the outhouse camera. "Not really. But the more pancake I can force down before it happens, the less the others will have to eat. And then I can at least say I did as much as I could."

xxx

Izzy cackled gleefully as the scene returned to her shoveling pancake into her mouth as fast as she could. She'd sprouted an extra two pairs of arms to assist her – one to help move food, and the other to casually toss aside whatever trap she found in her way. First a raccoon, then a mousetrap, and then even a small explosive that detonated behind her, it seemed like nothing was going to get in her way.

The camera over to Noah, who was also eating as fast as he could. "Uggh," he groaned as he held up a thick piece of cake, his face already covered in syrup, "sorry for asking this of you, stomach of mine, but please hold on!"

The Heroes' chorus sounded off. "Run, Izzy!" Gwen called out to the wild child.

"On it like a comet, yeah-hah!" Izzy replied, eagerly dashing forward. She quickly reached the bouncy butts and launched at them from a six-armed handspring. She skipped over the first entirely, bounced off the second, arced over the third, hit the fourth with a laugh, and slammed down onto the rolling pin. She managed to cling onto it with her many arms, and spent a second spinning along with it. "Whoa-oa-oa-oa!" she said, descending into laughter as she used the momentum to shoot herself back up into the air. "Look, I'm flying!" she said excitedly, her arms stretched out wide.

She belly-flopped onto the next platform. The camera cut back to Noah as his team's squealing signal caused him to drop his next piece of cake and start running, his stomach bulging noticeably. A cut back to Izzy showed her landing in the spinner, and the camera moved inside to show her continued grin even as she was flung around at high speeds.

The ride ended, and Izzy slid out of the hatch onto her feet. The music faded out slightly as she wobbled for a moment, giggled, then fell onto her back with her head next to the control box. "Ooh," she said upon noticing a lever right next her, "El Maléfico wonders what this does!" The music turned ominous and the camera zoomed in to a small light above the lever, which changed from a teal exclamation point to a red skull. "Looks fun!" Izzy said happily.

xxx

Izzy sighed calmly in the confessional. "Ahh, messing with things is fun and all, but I really feel like I should be doing _more_ around here, you know? I wish Fang was around more often."

xxx

"Alright, I'm up," Shawn said rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

"Good luck, Shawn," Jasmine told him, drawing the scowls of Alejandro and Scott. "I mean, I know we're not on the same team anymore, but still, I'd rather you not get hit with any particularly dangerous booby traps."

"What, do you need me _intact_ for something?" Shawn asked with a look of suspicion.

"Uhh...well, I don't want you hurt, if that's what you mean," Jasmine replied in confusion. Shawn just narrowed his eyes at her, and back away. "What's his _problem_?" the taller survivalist asked.

/

The challenge music returned in full force as Noah was shown bouncing from the last bouncy butt to the second platform with a strained expression. His cheeks bulged as he ran across the rolling pin, and the footage skipped ahead to show him getting kicked into the air by the giant boot. He landed in the spinner with a muffled groan but a subsequent swallow, and the intern manning the device started it up again.

It quickly reached a speed much higher than the previous activations, a red light on the control box flashing and buzzing to the intern's confusion.

"Oh god, is this normal?" Noah said in panic, his cheeks bulging again at the end of his sentence as he fought back his vomit once more.

A few sparks flew on the inside of the wheel, and the music peaked as Noah was hurled out of the top of the device. He started puking in mid-air, and the shot cut to Chris as he began to laugh.

xxx

"I have seen the future," Noah said with wide eyes as he rocked back and forth on top of the outhouse toilet, hugging his knees. "It is filled with pain, and vomit."

xxx

Chris laughed again. "Sorry Noah, but you've been benched." He paused as the slacker's groan came from off-screen, then turned to the camera. "His pain was our gain. Which team will finish their barftastic breakfast first? Find out, after the break."

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on Shawn quickly chowing down on his team's dwindling stack of pancake, the camera panning back over to show Jasmine watching him with a look of concern.

"A bit of advice," Scott whispered, suddenly leaning forward and putting an arm around her shoulders, "I'm pretty sure you're creeping Zombie Boy out. How you managed to do that I don't know, but you should probably clear it up if you wanna stay on his good side."

Jasmine scowled and shrugged off his arm. "I don't need _you_ telling me how to handle this," she told him. "I can figure out what's bothering him on my own."

"Suit yourself," Scott shrugged, stepping back away from her.

"If you two are finished," Alejandro said, walking up with a look of annoyance on his face, "we need to get back in the race. _Now_."

"Oh, right," Jasmine said, stiffening up in embarrassment. "I'll get right on it," she said before dashing forward.

The camera lingered on Alejandro and Scott. "An interesting strategy," the charmer said, earning a look of suspicion from the farmer. "Using our natural distrust of you in conjunction with genuinely good advice to steer them down a path of self-destruction? Why, it's almost like something _I_ would come up with," he said with a haughty chuckle.

"You can't prove _anything_ ," Scott told him. "I'm just giving people good advice, it's not _my_ fault if they don't take it."

Alejandro just chuckled again and shook his head. "You really _are_ quite transparent, you know that?" Scott's scowl deepened.

The challenge music rose back up as the camera cut back to Jasmine swiftly scarfing down her pancakes, then panning over to show Shawn doing the same. The camera then moved to a close-up of a television screen, now displaying the two team logos side by side with wedges grayed out. "The Heroes have a _massive_ lead," Chris said calmly, using a pointer stick to gesture to the angelic hamster with less than half the color remaining. "With nearly two-thirds of the pancakes eaten, the Villains," he moved the pointer to the much more colorful vulture, "are gonna have to step things up and fast."

Jasmine was shown perking up her head even as she causally picked a crab out of her pancakes, then swallowed what was in her mouth and narrowed her eyes in determination. "We are _not_ losing this," she said before resuming her eating with such great vigor and swiftness that Shawn's mouth gaped open the moment he noticed, spilling a few crumbs. He snapped to attention upon hearing his team's signal, and ran off.

"I'm just saying," Alejandro said as the focus moved back to him and Scott, "your past performances are proof enough that you're _not_ that good at this game. I mean," he laughed, "you chose such a pathetic hiding spot for your invincibility statue!"

Scott's eyes went wide with shock. " _You_ found it? I-I mean," he coughed and quickly adopted a defensive tone, "it's a fake, man. Just something I whittled up to trick people, y'know? Heheh..." His laugh was awkward and forced, and he sweated under Alejandro's disbelieving gaze.

"Please," Alejandro said, "your _lying_ stinks as much as you do."

The two were distracted by the sound of their team's squeal, and with a call of "And it's time for _Jasmine_ to face the obstacle course!" the camera cut back to the girl in question.

She jumped across the bouncing butts like they were stepping stones, and upon reaching the start of the rolling log the camera panned ahead to show Shawn still in the middle of it. "Oh man," he looked back over his shoulder with worry, "I better hustle." He hurried across it, Jasmine seconds behind him, and the shot cut to the boot. Shawn sent a wary look back over is shoulder, and at the same time his former teammate arrived he was kicked into the air. He landed in the spinner, and the intern started it up.

Jasmine grunted in annoyance. "Great, now I have to wait..."

/

A flash put the focus back on Alejandro and Scott as they faced each other once more. "Here's the _deal_ , Scott," the arch-villain said, grabbing the dirt farmer by the collar and pulling him in close. "Do _everything_ I tell you to, and do _not_ tell anybody I have the invincibility statue, and I won't have you voted out the next time we lose. Understand?"

" _Fine_ ," Scott replied with a bitter glare, tearing himself free of Alejandro's grip. The arch-villain gave him a satisfied smirk.

/

The challenge music resumed as the camera cut to the dock below the spinner. Shawn fell out of the machine with a groan, and glanced upwards as a yell and a thud signaled Jasmine's landing in the final obstacle. He watched as it began to spin, and the motion quickly made him gag and retch – but he was able to hold up a hand to stop himself from spewing.

The machine wound down, and Jasmine tumbled out of one of its side doors...right onto Shawn, who's eyes bulged from the impact. "Urrrgh... _sorry_...," the Outback amazon groaned out an apology, and with a few sharp, tense notes Shawn forced himself to swallow.

"And Shawn and Jasmine are _clear_!" Chris called out, bringing the camera back to his chair. "With that, the Villains have finally caught up. Next!"

"And there's my cue," Alejandro said with a smug smile, standing up straight and proud. "Good day, gentlemen," he said, nodding at both Scott and Justin, the latter having just arrived with a confused expression on his face. The camera followed Alejandro as he ran over to his team's pancake stack, with Gwen running over to the Heroes'.

"Where were you?" Scott asked Justin as the focus moved back to the sidelines.

"Getting washed up," the model explained. "I didn't want all that sugar on my face for longer than necessary."

Scott snorted. "Figures," he said, turning his back on the other boy and smirking slyly. "You and Al are just the same, always concerned with looking _pretty_. Still, junk like that is probably gonna make him want to keep you around longer, especially since there's _bigger_ fish to fry on this team."

Justin perked an eyebrow in confusion.

xxx

"Okay, if there's one thing Alejandro's made clear," the model confessed, "it's that you can't trust most of what Scott says. So if Scott says Al is gonna keep me _around_...," he looked down and rubbed his beautiful chin in thought, "then I should probably be worried because there's no _way_ that's true. Guess I'm gonna have to step up my plan to turn on Alejandro."

xxx

Once again the music resumed as the static ended and the camera panned from the villains to the heroes. "C'mon Gwen! You can do it!" Courtney cheered, the shot briefly cutting to the goth looking back with a mouthful of pancakes.

"Yeah, girl!" Lightning added. "Show those pancakes the eye of the, uh, inner darkness! Or somethin'!" Courtney gave him an odd look, as did Shawn as he returned to the group. "What?" the jock shrugged. "Does Lightning _look_ like he knows how to inspire a goth?" He turned back towards Gwen, and shouted "We believe in you! Those traps are no match for the sha-void that is your soul!"

A flat note played as Gwen looked back at him again, this time with narrow-eyed disbelief and a mouth stuffed with food.

The camera panned to Jasmine, now standing with Justin and Scott but watching the Hamsters with a puzzled eye.

xxx

"Since when did Lightning start acting so... _supportive_?" Jasmine asked the outhouse camera.

xxx

The two teams' signals went off at around the same time. Gwen's head snapped back forward, but her outstretched hand absentmindedly reached into what remained of her pancakes and triggered a mouse trap. As she flailed her arm to try and throw it off Alejandro ran past, cackling with glee. With a muffled yet panicked cry she gave chase, and the shot cut to the bouncy butts.

Alejandro curled up as he jumped into the first one, allowing himself to be bounced like a ball from one to the next. Gwen's journey, on the other hand, was far less smooth; the camera panned along with her to show her arcing awkwardly into the air and falling back down onto the next butt. And while Alejandro landed gracefully on his feet and kept running, Gwen landed painfully on her belly earning a wince from her teammates. She groaned and reached for her still-bulging cheeks, but got back to her feet and kept moving.

"Villain Alejandro is getting ahead!" Chris announced as the shot cut to the charmer easily keeping his balance on the rolling log. "And," the camera panned back to the goth as her face adopted a more sickly color, "Hero Gwen's _head_ is turning a new shade of green!"

"Not doing too well, are you?" Alejandro taunted, still maintaining his position on the pin in front of her. "It's a shame, Courtney was _so_ counting on you too." He barked out a laugh and jumped to the next platform, and Gwen could contain herself no longer. She vomited forward onto the gap between the two logs, and fell backward into the mud.

"Ohh, and Gwen gives the 'Hurl of Shame' new meaning!" Chris said from his chair. "Hit the bench!" he added as the sullen goth was shown approaching the tiered bench where Noah was already seated.

"Alright, time to make sure Gwen's effort wasn't in vain," Courtney said with determination, pushing up her sleeves and dashing forward to the Heroes' pancakes.

"Yeah! You go, girl!" Lightning cheered.

The scene moved to the spinner, already in motion. "And Alejandro takes the spinner for a ride!" Chris called out over the loudspeaker, the camera cutting inside to show the charmer's cheeks bulging as he went round and round at high speed. The shot moved back to the dock as the machine slowed to a stop, the hatch opened, and Alejandro was dropped face-first onto the wooden planks. He stuck out his tongue in disgust, and the squeal of the Vultures' signal was heard in the background. "Time for another eater, Villains!" the host announced.

"I'm up," Scott said with a smirk, running forward and digging into the the Villains' dwindling stack of pancakes.

"The teams are neck and neck," Chris said as the shot cut back to the close-up of the television screen, the two pie chart-logos now approaching a quarter left for both teams. "Courtney and Scott are gonna have to dig deep, and stuff it full of pancakes if they wanna win. _Any_ mistake could cost them the challenge."

As if on cue, Courtney screamed. "Aaaagh! Green jelly!" she shrieked and flailed as the camera cut back to the two competitors, the ex-CIT's head and shoulders now coated with a thick green goop and her pancakes forgotten in her panic. Fortunately for her, the trap had also distracted Scott who was watching his former teammate's panic with a happy smirk.

xxx

"What?" Courtney asked the outhouse camera indignantly. "I don't like green jelly, okay? Normally I have a pretty strong stomach, but green jelly is one of the few things I just can't handle."

xxx

With a flurry of motion Courtney scraped and flung the jelly from her face and hands, then darted back to her plate. "The things I do for these people," she muttered anxiously as she began eating. The shot cut in for a close-up of her head as she shoved bits of cake into her mouth, then switched to a similar shot of Scott. A switch back to Courtney came just before the chorus signaled the end of her eating period, and with a concerned look she stood up from the small pile of pancake left and sprinted towards the obstacle course.

"Looks like Courtney's making quick work of the bouncy butts," Chris announced over the loudspeaker as Courtney was shown being bounced from one butt to the next in a similar manner as Gwen, though with intermittent shrieks. "But will it be enough?" he added, the shot cutting back to the progress graph to show the Villain's color wedge dwindling rapidly.

The camera quick-panned back to the challenge platform to show Scott reaching for the last piece of cake, only to stop with a sudden and irritated growl as the squeal signaled the end of his eating period. "Seriously, I was almost finished!" he grumbled as he ran forward, his stomach bulging noticeably.

Courtney was shown crossing over the vomit-splattered portion of the rolling pin with surprising ease, while Scott got caught in the first butt's crack and cried out in pain and frustration as it moved up and down. "Oh _come on_!"

The salad spinner came to a stop, and Courtney flopped onto the dock. "I did it! Woo hoo!" she said weakly.

"Huh," Gwen said from the bench with a look of mild surprise. "Didn't think she had it in her."

"Didn't think she'd keep it there," Noah added.

"Lightning, you're up!" Courtney yelled out, getting up onto one knee.

"Sha-diggin' _in_!" the uber-jock replied with great enthusiasm, running to the plate and grabbing a slab of pancake.

The scene cut to Scott screaming as the massive boot sent him flying, then back to the sidelines as Alejandro ran up to his remaining teammates, short of breath. "Scott seriously hasn't finished yet?" he asked in annoyed disbelief.

"Not as far as I can tell," Jasmine answered, a hand on her brow to block out the sun as she looked down the course.

Alejandro groaned. "At this rate we're going to _lose_!"

"Relax, man," Justin said with a calming hand gesture. "We've only got like a single crumb left, I can handle it."

"That's not the issue," Alejandro said sharply. "If Lightning finishes his pancakes too, whoever runs next _has_ to be able to outrun him."

"Then I'll-" Jasmine began to say before their team's screech-signal got their attention.

"And Scott clears the course!" Chris announced as the shot quick-panned over to Scott lying awkwardly on his face on the dock under the spinner, but holding up a single thumbs-up to signify his status. Moments later, the angelic chorus drew the camera back to an empty plate. "And Lightning clears the eating portion!" the host added as the shot zoomed out to show the uber-jock running away from it. "The Villians had better get a move on!"

"I'll do it," Alejandro said, barging past Jasmine and Justin. "I'm the only one who can catch him." Jasmine opened her mouth to protest, but scowled as the arch-villain ran off without a further word.

The music picked up as the camera followed him along his path, scooping up his team's final crumb of pancake and shoving it into his mouth while he ran. "A flawless dine-and-dash from Alejandro, finishing off the Villains' plate," Chris said from his chair. "But can he catch up to Lightning?" The focus returned to the charmer as he made his way across the bouncy butts in much the same way as his previous run, and with a look of fierce concentration he managed to reach the rolling pins while his foe was still on them.

"Hah!" Lightning taunted as he made his way across at a steady pace. "Y'all are gonna have to do better than _that_ if you wanna catch the Lightning."

"Then I hope you have room left in your stomach for those _words_ , amigo!" Alejandro countered, his determination becoming even sharper as he bounded across the remainder of the logs. He reached the other side mere paces behind Lightning, who looked back over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes. The camera zoomed out as the two boys raced for the boot, with Lightning still in the lead.

He slid into position as the grape crusher swung back, and with a smug smile waved at his opponent. "Sha bye-bye," he said as the boot swung down.

"NO!" Alejandro shouted, diving forward with his arms outstretched.

He was just a moment too late, and landed on the platform as Lightning rode the boot high into the sky. "Sha- _yeah_!" he said as a triumphant tune rose up, striking a pose against the sun as he hit the peak of his arc. He landed in the salad spinner, and the music cut out as the machine started up.

The shot cut from close-ups of Alejandro, to the other Villains, to Gwen and Noah on the bench, to the other Heroes, and lastly to Chris taking a sip from his coconut drink. All had their eyes locked in the direction of the final obstacle, the Vultures watching with dread and the Hamsters with hope.

After a long second the shot returned to the spinner slowing to a stop. A hatch on the slide opened up, and Lightning tumbled out with a short scream. The rest of the cast was shown perking up in silent anticipation...and a victorious tune rose up as Lightning lifted his head and gave the camera a dazed and dopey smile, saying "Sha- _done_!" as his eyes spun.

"And the Heroes _win_!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker, and the shot cut to Shawn, Izzy, and Courtney as they jumped and cheered back at the starting line.

The camera panned to Justin and Jasmine as they scowled in irritation. "Hmph. All that talk and he couldn't even pull it off," the survivalist snorted.

"Yeah, there goes our winning streak," Justin added with a shake of his head.

/

A few deep notes were struck as the scene flashed to the cabins, zooming in as Noah, Justin, and Scott watched Alejandro from the steps and porch of the losers' abode. "Gentlemen, that performance was _pathetic_ ," he told them harshly, putting his hands behind his back as he paced the ground in front of them. "Despite _my_ efforts we lost, and those responsible for it _must_ be punished."

"Uhh, is this gonna lead to us voting out Jasmine?" Justin raised a finger to ask in confusion. "Because I totally get you wanting to do that, except that she didn't really cause us to lose."

"Exactly," Alejandro said the camera cutting in for a close-up as he turned his back on his teammates. "And that is why I propose we vote for either _Noah_ , or _Scott_."

"WHAT?!" the boys in question spoke up in outrage.

"Why _me_?" Scott asked.

"And why tell us this to our _faces_?" Noah added.

"Because," Alejandro answered sharply, turning on his heel to glare at the two, " _you_ couldn't hold your pancakes," he told Noah, the slacker scowling in annoyance, "and _you_ weren't able to finish them off," he told Scott, the farmer closing his mouth and clamming up, "forcing _me_ to do it instead. But, I _am_ generous," he abruptly turned his back on them again and took a couple steps away, "and have decided to give each of you a chance to plead your case. Whoever makes the most convincing argument will be spared, but make no mistake," he spun on his heel once again and the shot zoomed in for an angled shot of his narrowed eyes, "one of you _will_ be going home tonight. And anybody who _doesn't_ vote for Scott or Noah will be punished."

Justin, Scott, and Noah exchanged wary and panicked looks. "When you're ready to talk to me, I'll be at the mess hall," Alejandro said, walking away towards the right. Another dark and ominous tune played as the shot zoomed in on his evil smirk.

xxx

"Harsh, but necessary," Alejandro told the outhouse camera with a self-assured grin. "Now that Scott and Noah have been pitted against one another, I can find out where their loyalties _truly_ lie. I expect both to go running to _Jasmine_ for help, meaning whichever one is honest about it and gets me involved first will be the one I reward. Of course, Justin _is_ a wild card in this," he admitted, "though they all are to some extent. I wouldn't be surprised if that pea-brained model decides to take the chance to turn the others against me, but it won't work. Scott _knows_ I have the invincibility statue, he won't waste his vote and risk getting eliminated in retaliation, and I don't expect Jasmine will go along with his plan given their history. Anything he does to get her on his side, _I_ can do better."

"But on the off chance he _is_ able to mount a rebellion," he pulled out the whittled statue of Chris' head, "I still have _this_ to ensure I stay in the game, and in power." He kissed it, and laughed.

xxx

A short but tense tune played once the static cut away to the three Villains on the cabin porch. "Uhh...," Noah said, backing up nervously under the curious and scrutinizing gaze of his teammates, "I'm...just gonna go do something," he said quickly before dashing away in the blink of an eye.

"Two guesses where _he_ just went," Scott said irritably.

"Yeah," Justin added blankly before gasping lightly in realization. "Oh, hey, that reminds me," he told Scott, giving the farmer his most charming smile, "I totally had a great idea earlier." Scott raised a brow in confusion. "Okay, bare with me on this," Justin said, "but what if you and me...," he motioned between them, "voted out _Alejandro_. Ehh? Ehh? Good plan, right? He's been getting pretty big for his designer boots lately, so I think we could take him down a peg and keep you safe at the same time."

A devious smirk formed on Scott's face. "Smart," he said. "I couldn't have come up with a better idea myself. But we're gonna need a third to make it work."

Justin blinked, then rubbed his chin in thought. "Oh yeah," he said. "I guess we're gonna have to go find Jasmine and get her to vote with us."

"Then we'd better go now before Al and the _geek_ get to her," Scott said.

"Right, right," Justin replied with a knowing nod. He walked off at a rather casual pace, Scott following close behind with his smirk becoming even eviller.

/

"There you are," Noah said, out of breath as he ran up to Jasmine. She was picking berries off a bush, and turned a curious look to her teammate.

"What's up, mate? Got a scoop on who the others are voting for?" she asked him.

"Yeah," Noah replied. "Alejandro rounded us all up and gave us this big lecture about how it's me or the _dirt farmer_ on the chopping block tonight." Jasmine's brow shot up in shock. "Yeah, I was surprised about it too. He's probably up to something, but I'm fine playing into it if it means saving my butt."

"Agreed," Jasmine nodded. "The two of us and Alejandro-"

"-will be enough to take down Scott, right," Noah finished. "But I gotta go make sure El Capitán is on my side without cluing him in to our little arrangement, so wait here while I go sweet-talk his arrogant butt." He turned to leave, but paused and added "Oh, and when I bring him back make sure to act surprised. He doesn't need to know that you were expecting him."

"Gotcha," Jasmine said with a sly smile and a wink, and Noah darted off.

The camera lingered on the survivalist as she resumed her foraging, but a few seconds later the sound of footsteps approaching turned her attention to the left. "What do _you two_ want?" she opened with an annoyed scowl as the camera pulled back and revealed Justin and Scott walking up to her.

"Hey, no need to be so hostile," Justin said smoothly.

"Yeah," Scott chimed in. "You'll regret it."

Justin turned to him and held out a hand for him to stop. "Hey, man, let me handle this okay?" he said, earning a slightly surprised look from his partner in crime.

"Could you guys get this over with?" Jasmine told them, the camera panning back over to show her unamused look.

"I'm getting there, hold your horses," the model said with a calm smile. "For someone in such a bad position right now, can you really afford to be so impatient with us?" Jasmine said nothing, but narrowed her eyes warily. "That's what I thought," Justin said. "Lucky you, I'm here with a once-in-a-lifetime offer. You agree to vote out Alejandro with us tonight, and maybe we won't vote _you_ out next time."

Jasmine snorted. "And what if I refuse?"

Justin's expression became stern even as he chuckled. "Well then, I'm afraid me and Scott would have to vote for you tonight instead. And don't think I can't get Alejandro on board with it, because I can. So what do you say, sound good to you?" He extended his hand, and flashed a handsome smile that seemed to take Jasmine slightly off-guard.

"...deal," she said, accepting the shake but not taking her eyes of Justin's.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Jasmine," he told her, breaking the shake and walking away with a slightly annoyed Scott. Jasmine just rolled her eyes and turned back to the berry bush.

xxx

"It's not like I'm gonna force myself to keep a promise to those two mongrels," Jasmine confessed. "I only agreed to get them to go away. Still," she conceded, "it _is_ nice to know that's an option."

xxx

"Ah, there you are señorita," came the sudden voice of Alejandro, distracting Jasmine from the berries she was now eating as the camera pulled back to show him and Noah arriving. "I was looking for you."

"Really? Why?" Jasmine said with surprise that didn't seem entirely forced. "Let me guess, you wanna rub it in my face that I'm going home tonight, right?"

Alejandro smiled and shrugged cockily. "Well, it _is_ true that you are likely to go home tonight...unless you play your cards right, of course."

Jasmine narrowed her eyes, and looked at Noah. "Promise to vote for Scott tonight and we won't vote for you," Noah said dryly.

"Well said, my friend," Alejandro told him. "Though I'd also like to add that if you go back on your promise you _won't_ make it past the next elimination," he said, turning a charming smile to Jasmine that quickly shifted into a dark glare.

Jasmine sighed. "Well, I guess I don't have much of a choice," she said, extending a hand to the arch-villain. "I don't wanna go home, so I'll do as you say."

Alejandro smiled, and shook it. "I'm glad you see it that way," he smiled.

xxx

"I'm honestly not intimidated by his threats," Jasmine told the confessional camera. "Still, I _do_ need to decide if I'm voting for Scott or Alejandro. If his _barking_ when I got back this morning is anything to go by, I'd say _Scott_ has the invincibility statue. Baiting him into using it and getting out Alejandro that way isn't too bad of an idea, but I don't know if he and Justin will actually be voting for the guy," she said with a worried look. "They might just be trying to trick me into wasting my vote so they can eliminate me or Noah more easily. Then again, that would require Al's help and I don't think he's the type to get rid of someone he thinks he's controlling. But I just can't trust them to keep their word, either. If I vote for Scott, he'll definitely use his statue and eliminate someone else. If I vote for Alejandro...then either Alejandro goes home, or Scott uses his statue to break the tie and send me or Noah home."

She furrowed her brow and brought a finger to her troubled lip as she thought. She sighed. "I really don't know what'll happen, and I don't think I'll have time to talk to Noah about it. I'm just gonna have to make a decision," she finished with a determined expression.

xxx

/

The opening chords of the ceremony theme played as the footage skipped ahead to night, the island shown briefly before the scene moved to the campfire pit. The camera passed over the five Villains sitting wary or stoic before the fire, then moved to the Heroes in the gallery behind them.

"Who do you think's goin' home?" Lightning leaned over and whispered to Izzy.

"Good question," the wild child shrugged. "Not gonna be one of us, that's for sure."

"Not tonight, at least," Chris said as he walked over to them. "Villains, you'll be voting in just a second," he looked over his shoulder to tell the other team, "but first, which _Hero_ wants an overnight trip to Boney Island?"

"Guess that's me," Shawn stood uncertainly.

"Not surprising," the host shrugged. "Villains, you're up!" he turned on his heel and declared with an eager grin.

xxx

A five-way split-screen showed all the votes being cast at once – Alejandro and Noah in a column on the left; Justin and Scott in a column on the right; and Jasmine between the four with an uncertain expression. She was the last to cross out her photo of choice.

xxx

"We're down to the final two contestants," Chris said after the static cut away. The camera zoomed in slightly on a shot of the entire losing team, one marshmallow on the host's plate and three more in the hands of Justin, Noah, and a very relieved-looking Jasmine. She bumped her prize against Noah's, and the camera panned to the front row to show Scott looking extremely nervous and Alejandro looking extremely confident.

"Who will get the final marshmallow," the host asked. "Will it be...Scott, the eating failure," the farmer's anxious, wide-eyed face was shown in a close-up, "or Alejandro, the running failure." The shot panned to the charmer, who's face fell into an odd mixture of sternness and boredom. "The last marshmallow goes too...," Chris said, drawing it out as the music's tension rose. Scott was shown biting his nails, the final treat was shown sitting motionlessly, and Alejandro was shown donning yet another devious smirk. Chris picked up the final marshmallow right as the music reached its peak.

"... _Scott_!"

The farmer's eyes widened, as did his grin. In the back row, Noah was shown turning his gaping shock towards Jasmine, and scowling when he saw her smile. "Sorry," she whispered sheepishly upon noticing his glare, "I didn't have time to tell you."

xxx

"Great, not only am I her _mole_ but I'm not even one she listens to," Noah griped.

xxx

Alejandro was shown closing his eyes, taking a breath, and reaching for his pocket, only to be distracted by Justin's hand on his shoulder. "Sorry, man," the model said. "I guess you taught me a little too well."

"Oh, I wouldn't say _that_ ," Alejandro replied, his sudden smirk confusing the model. "Nor would I say I'm going anywhere!" he added, finally pulling the carving from his pocket to a dramatic riff. Justin and Jasmine gasped, as did the four Heroes still in the gallery, but Noah merely perked an eyebrow and Scott smirked.

"Oh yeah?" Chris said, leaning on his podium and looking less than impressed. "Where's the McLean Seal of Approval on that thing?"

"...qué?" Alejandro asked in sudden, blank shock as the music cut away. He quickly looked down at the statue he was holding it, turning it over and over again. "But...what _seal_ are you talking about? There's nothing here!"

"Sorry man," Scott told him mockingly as the sombre elimination theme began to play. "I tried to tell you that the statue I had was a knock-off I whittled while I was on Boney Island. I planted it in my bed hoping some _sap_ would try to use it," he chuckled, "and it looks like one _did_." He caught the final marshmallow that was tossed his way at last, and the shot panned over to Chris.

"Sorry Al, but thems the breaks. You're out," he said.

The camera zoomed in on Alejandro's gaping expression, and zoomed back out to show him floating in the bowl of the Flush of Shame. "This...this can't be happening," he babbled in shock. "Bested in a fair contest I can almost understand, but I...I can _not_ have been outsmarted by that filthy _trash-eater_."

"Hey, don't forget me," Justin spoke up, the perspective inverting to show the remaining Vultures standing with the host on the Dock of Shame. "I outsmarted you too, remember?" The others ignored him.

"Well, see ya Al," Chris told the not-so-charming loser. "It's a shame, too. I was hoping you'd make it another couple episodes, but oh well. Hey, don't you have some brother or something that likes to tease you about your shortcomings?"

Alejandro's eyes bugged out even more. "Oh no," he muttered in sheer panic. The host's remote beeped, and Chris laughed as Alejandro was pulled spinning and screaming into the sewers.

"The Heroes finally win again," Chris told the camera as the capstone theme started up. "But, can they do it _again_ again? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene faded in to a close-up of Alejandro lying on a sandy beach, groaning as he opened his eyes. "Wh-what _happened_...," he muttered. "Where _am_ I?" He lifted his head and looked around, then paused in shock. " _Hawaii_?!" he exclaimed, the camera pulling back dramatically to reveal that he'd washed up on the very same beach that the final challenge of season three had taken place on. "Why am I _here_?" he said, the viewpoint taking back its usual position as he started walking around.

"Finding himself in an unexpected yet familiar land," a familiar voice caught his attention, "our hero's mind is _filled_ with the memory of losses both new and old. How can he accept the tragedy that has so clearly befallen him? I, for one, don't know."

Alejandro finally seemed to spot the young man who was talking off to the side. "Topher?" he said in confusion, the shot panning over to show the wannabe host standing nearby in his swim trunks holding a stick like a microphone. "What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"I'm here to pick you up," Topher answered, throwing away the stick. "Although I wouldn't say no to spending a day at the beach, just us two and nobody else."

The eliminated arch-villain raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Ahh...I'll think about it. Though I still do not understand how you knew I was going to be here in the first place."

"Oh, that was me," a sudden voice said behind him, startling both of the handsome men. The camera panned back to the right as Alejandro turned around, revealing Dawn standing about a foot away.

"I...see...," Alejandro said slowly. "And yet...why would Chris send you to pick me up? Topher I understand," he motioned to his friend, "but you and I aren't exactly on good terms."

"Umm...," Dawn said, averting her gaze in hesitation, "he _didn't_ send us to pick you up. Neither did the producers, for that matter."

"It was kind of... _all_ of our idea," Topher explained with a vague hand gesture.

"Not really," the mystic corrected, "it was mostly mine."

"You... _wanted_ to come see me with Topher?" Alejandro asked, still confused.

Dawn leaned in close to him. "No," she said with a piercing gaze that seemed to unnerve him, "I merely chose the short straw on purpose so that I could see if this loss finally taught you some humility. But based on your aura, I'm not optimistic." She shook her head in disappointment, then walked past him as he gaped.

"...I'm sorry, I feel like there's still something I'm missing here," Alejandro said as he walked after her, Topher eagerly following along at his side.

"Don't worry, buddy," his former bandmate said, grabbing the charmer by the arm. "It's a long story, but I'll explain it to you while we relax on the beach."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus falls Alejandro Burromuerto, arch-villain extraordinaire outsmarted by a two-time pre-merger. Despite the heavy focus on the Villains and their various strategies, not to mention how obvious Alejandro's elimination likely was the moment he got the fake idol, I'm really digging how this episode came together. It's a fantastic blend of several parts - Scott's forgery and Alejandro's idol-stealing from canon, Justin's desire to usurp Alejandro's position as the prime villainous hottie, and Noah and Jasmine's newly-forged deals all coming together to blindside the hell out of Alejandro. My one regret is that Alejandro didn't last long enough to face his brother like in canon, but without Heather around to motivate him I doubt it would have ended well.

For reference, Jasmine's decision came down to how much she felt she could trust Justin and Scott. If she thought they were really going to vote for Alejandro, then she would've voted for Scott with Noah and Alejandro, which in her mind would force Scott to play his idol (which he basically tricked her into thinking he had), thus getting rid of it and Alejandro. But if she couldn't trust them to vote for Alejandro, then it would actually be better to vote for him directly - that way, if they were lying and she didn't just go home because of it, then she'd at least be in a decent place because of it. Had she actually managed to speak with Noah beforehand, she would've learned that Scott didn't actually have an idol, but would have still voted out Alejandro because...well, it's Alejandro. But Noah would have at least been on board.

So...yeah. I hope those of you who like Alejandro found his elimination suitable. He didn't really lose his touch, he was just taken off-guard by something unprecedented in the Shuffledverse.

Let me know what you thought, and Ill see you all next week.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)


	6. Chapter 6 - Egg-streme Egg Hunting

**Author's Note**

Here we are, nearly at the halfway point of the season. Two weeks until the merge. How time flies, huh? I hope you're excited for how things are gonna play out. But right now, there are reviews to answer.

 **Silver Writer 0927** and **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks

 **DSX62415:** Well, all will be revealed in due time. Or most will, anyway.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you, it was fun to plan and write out.

 **Animation Adventures:** Wow, I'm glad I was able to make Alejandro's downfall such a good read! I'm not entirely sure when my plan for him and Justin cemented into its final form, but I'm happy with what it became. Alejandro is still clearly the better villain overall, but because of Scott's trickery he adopted a false assumption that prevented him from fully preparing to counter Justin's rather basic plan. Plus, it ended up turning what was, like you said, a rather bland episode into something great. The challenge became just a humorous backdrop to the Villains' plotting, and the very fact that I never brought up the seal last season brought it all together. Had the seal come up, the fake idol would have been useless. Anyway, I'm glad you're liking how Shazmine is developing, and I hope you enjoy this week's challenge.

 **bruno14:** Good to hear. Interesting thoughts, and opinions, and I think I agree that Scott was very good last week. It was fun writing him as the blatant sneak who still managed to get enough information and manipulate the right people to pull off an Alejandro blindside.

 **ashDanLand:** Wow, okay then, I'm glad it was so thrilling for you! And that you enjoyed Izzy and Lightning, they're both pretty fun to write though for different reasons. As were the many events leading up to Alejandro's elimination. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens this week!

 **Guest:** Haha, well, Scott's pretty good at blending the line between lie and truth this season. The key to telling the difference is in how I describe his voice at the time: if he sounds like he's blatantly lying or being sarcastic, he's probably actually telling the truth in a way that makes other people think he's lying. And...yeah, once again Alejandro gets eliminated because of his own overconfidence and ego, more or less. I feel like I should have got him over that flaw of his by now...but, well, he wouldn't be Alejandro without it.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Thanks, I'm glad that yet another person enjoyed Alejandro's downfall. As for the new characters outnumbering the old, and what that means for the eliminations from here on out...well, you'll see how it plays out.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Well okay then. I think I can see where you're coming from - the whole 'fake idol' situation made it clear that the Villains were going to lose in the end, but it wasn't entirely clear who was actually going to go home because I'm not especially easy to predict as an author. Regarding Shasmine and the bonus clips, I hope you enjoy what I've come up with for both of them (regardless of when it ends up playing out). And as for Mal appearing next season...well, all I can say is that I've given both him and Mike a lot of thought, and I think I have a good idea of what I'll be doing with them. I will tell you that the new title for the episode in question is likely to be 'Journey to the Center of Pahkitew' or something like that.

 **moka evans:** Haha, yup, I'm a tricky one at times. But sometimes, the trick is that it's exactly what it seems to be, and the enjoyment comes from watching it all unfold. I'm surprisingly proud of how everything came together last week, with all the canon elements mixing up into something new. Not much to say about your boots predictions other than that they're interesting as always, and as for Alejandro not meeting Heather...well, it's a shame, true. Especially as even if they do end up meeting in the Shuffledverse I doubt they'd get together anytime soon because of the age difference. But hey, this is just part of what makes this series what it is. Same with Topher definitely having a crush on Alejandro that'll never be reciprocated, I think.

 **I. M. Poik:** Hahaha, I figured you'd be excited to see Alejandro's elimination. I'm glad you loved it, and Lightning and Scott in particular. I hope this week's episode answers some of your questions, and gives you some more.

 **TotalDramaJudge:** Hah, yeah, good summary. I'm glad you're enjoying the season, and that you feel it's done well to overcome the canon season's flaws (even if some of them aren't even present). Lightning's been a blast to write, as have the interactions between Shawn and Jasmine as well as Gwen and Courtney. There's lots more where that came from, too. Really, there's just a lot in store in general...

 **P. T. Piranha:** Mmm, right, I know what you mean about the Villains being more prominent right now. But, I think, that's more because they're focused on strategy while the Heroes are more...interpersonal, I guess? But don't worry, the Heroes will have their time in the sun. And as for Alejandro's elimination...well, sometimes the joy comes not from the suspense, but from seeing a fairly obvious elimination play out and the various plans blowing up.

 **Bookfisher:** Yeah, the canon episode wasn't really much to speak of. Just putting an end to Sam's miserable non-plot. I'm glad I was able to rectify it.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Hah, I can tell you're not gonna miss him.

 **OMAC001:** Yeah, that's the thing with villains - the only thing you can trust them to be is untrustworthy. Or deceptive, anyway.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Is that so? Well, considering how much of a flop he ended up being, I can see how you'd think that early on. Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed Alejandro's downfall and all the canon allusions it brought. Writing him being outsmarted for once was both tricky, as I didn't want to dumb him down, but also really satisfying. And yeah, the Heroes might not be in the forefront right no, but to be fair it was hard for them to compete with Alejandro's downfall. They'll have their time elsewhere.

 **Star Saber21:** Yup, I'd say Scott's fake idol plan had a much bigger effect here than in canon. As for Shawn and Jasmine, as well as what's going on with the bonus scenes...well, I hope you enjoy how those develop.

 **BuckJohnson:** Wow, thanks! I think Lightning's is a lot of people's favorite, actually. I never thought going into this series that he would be such a break-out hit. And you're right, Scott's been taking out people who wronged him in the past, though not always making a specific and conscious decision to target them ahead of time. Sugar, yes, but Alejandro was just because the opportunity came about.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Oh, no, no, please don't be! We each have our own character preferences, there's nothing wrong with that. But that aside, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter even if you aren't enjoying Justin. I know the Heroes aren't really prominent right now, but I do think they'll still get their time to shine.

 **FOWLKON:** Haha, yeah, can't exactly make a fake idol without it being relevant. I'm glad you're enjoying Lightning, and as for the other Heroes...well, progress is being made in their various subplots, anyway. I can't just have everything go smoothly, you know? As for Beardo not picking up Alejandro, well, despite them being (former) bandmates Beardo just doesn't like Alejandro that much.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Lol, I guess so. I'm glad you (and like everyone else) enjoyed last week's elimination and the events leading up to it so much. Looks like I did a good job on sprucing up what was a rather uneventful episode in canon, which is always a nice feeling. And I'm also happy you thought the Heroes (for the most part) were doing good as well, as I know they were pretty highly overshadowed by the Villains last week. And...you're honestly pretty right about Izzy. I had forgotten just how little Fang appeared when I was going in to the season, and just never found the time to insert him to make up for it. That's meant Izzy's role in the story has suffered, and for that I apologize. But her role in the plot isn't just going to be as late-game elimination fodder, I can promise that. Anyway, interesting predictions regarding events going forward, and I look forward to seeing your thoughts and reactions as my plans unfold.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** I guess so. I'm glad you loved all the antics, including Izzy's as often times I feel like she doesn't really contribute much. Honestly, I don't really feel like the newbies overshadowing the older players is a flaw at all - the older players have had way, way longer to have their characters explored and developed, with a little over six times the episodes dedicated to them than the season four cast. Though the criticism of the Heroes being overshadowed by the Villains right now is valid, and I'll do my best to rectify that in ways that make sense and don't hurt the overall plot.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Yeah, well, sometimes eliminations are obvious. I think I say that a little too often, though. But the point is, Alejandro had it coming both in-story and out of it, for exactly the reasons you stated pretty much. Though it did force me to change this episode's title since the event the original referred to is now impossible. The replacement...well, it fits the episode, at least. Scott and Justin...well, it's been interesting to figure out the fallout from Alejandro's blindside with respect to them, and I hope you enjoy it. Likewise, I hope you enjoy both more of Lightning, as well as the development of Shawn and Jasmine's relationship. Playing up Jasmine's potential flaws has been interesting to say the least, and I don't know if I've struck the right balance between them being meaningful while keeping Jasmine likable, but I think it's been a pretty good effort if nothing else. As for Izzy and Scott...well, it's not just your bias - Izzy was never really meant to be a serious antagonist.

 **link9753:** Thanks! Yeah, if Scott had been the main antagonist in World Tour we never would have gotten to see him be such a good villain here. I probably would've ended up playing him more like his canon counterpart, to be honest. Maybe a bit more surly and bitter, I don't know. Interesting Final Four predictions, I look forward to seeing your reactions as the season progresses. And as for a Duncan/Sky pairing in Pahkitew...don't get your hopes up. Sorry.

And...that's it, finally! Time to wrap this up and get on with the show. As I'm sure you all know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

Likewise, here's the current team roster:

Heroic Hamsters: Gwen, Izzy, Lightning, Shawn, Courtney

Villainous Vultures: Justin, Noah, Scott, Jasmine

With that taken care of, I hope you're all prepared for some major Fun!

Enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 6 – Egg-streme Egg Hunting  
**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris began, the recap montage opening with Izzy sliding out of the salad spinner, falling on her back, and flipping a switch on the machine's control box with a dark giggle. "It was a trip down memory lane for the girls of Team Hero, who once again found themselves stuck in a cruddy little cabin with each other," he said over a clip of Gwen, Courtney, and Izzy receiving their wake-up call in the form of an explosion of powdered gruel, courtesy of Chef. "Meanwhile," Noah was shown watching Scott 'hide' his fake invincibility statue in his bedding, "a little wooden carving sent the boys of Team _Villain_ down a one-way course towards betrayal. _Fun_ , right?" he added giddily over shots of Alejandro finding the fake idol, then threatening Scott later on during the challenge.

"At challenge time, giant pancakes were gobbled down," Justin and Lightning were shown making the initial dash towards their teams' plates, the jock eating with much more enthusiasm than the model. "And, in a few cases," Noah was shown flying through the air while vomiting, and Gwen was shown throwing up on the rolling pin, "thrown right back up thanks to a barf- _tacular_ obstacle course." He laughed as Lightning was shown forcibly swallowing his vomit after he exited the salad spinner. "Way to re-swallow, bro," Chris said.

"The Heroes finished first," Shawn, Courtney, and Izzy cheered, "causing the Villains to scramble. _Al_ decided to test his team's loyalty," a short clip of the charmer telling the other boys that they'd have to vote for Scott or Noah was shown. " _Justin_ decided to make his move," the model was shown talking with Scott. " _Noah_ played it safe," the slacker was shown speaking with Jasmine, "and _Jasmine_ took a chance," the survivalist was shown thinking in her confessional. "But in the end," Scott was shown visibly relieved as his name was called at the voting ceremony, "it was _Scott_ who had the last laugh when Alejandro played the fake idol and got sent home humiliated." The arch-villain made his failed play, only for Scott to eagerly reveal the deception, and the montage ended with Alejandro getting flushed in utter shock.

"Only nine players remain," Chris told the camera from some high-up perch. "Which one of them is gonna take a _circle-y swim_ in the the big porcelain bowl?" he asked, the shot zooming out to reveal him standing on the tank of the Flush of Shame. "Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A simple plodding tune started off the background score as the episode opened on the spa hotel. A cut inside showed a close-up of a plate full of bacon and sausage being carried by Lightning, the jock humming happily to himself as the shot pulled back to show him walking over to the meal table.

"Mornin', ladies," he said as he passed in front of Courtney and Gwen, the two eating their breakfast on the same side of the table though with two seats between them. Lightning stopped in his tracks and looked back at them, a few sharp notes playing as the camera zoomed in to better show that they were sopping wet. "Whoa, what happened to you two?"

" _Izzy_ ," Courtney answered irritably before taking a bite out of a piece of toast.

"Apparently, 'El Maléfico' decided it would be _funny_ to pelt us with water balloons after we got dressed," Gwen explained with an equal dryness and ample air quotes.

Lightning tensed up and looked around warily. "She's not still around, is she?" he asked. "Lightning don't want soggy bacon for breakfast."

"You don't have to worry," Gwen told him. "After she was done with us she took the rest of her balloons and ran off to cause trouble somewhere else."

"I pity the poor sap she's tormenting now," Courtney added.

/

The hectic tune usually associated with Izzy played as the scene flashed to some forest path, the wild child cackling as she threw balloons at a startled and fleeing Fang.

/

Courtney sighed, and put on a smile. "But you know what? I'm not gonna let it get to me. This is the first time I've gotten to stay here all season, and I am _not_ letting it go to waste." She ate a forkful of eggs, and moaned in ecstasy. "These are _fantastic_..."

"Well, better enjoy them while you can," Gwen told her. "I doubt you'll be staying here forever."

The ex-villainess gaped in shock for a moment before her face fell into a sad expression.

xxx

"Look, I'll admit that Courtney hasn't been as completely unbearable as I was expecting her to be," Gwen confessed calmly. "But at the same time, I'm not gonna pretend that she's gonna be sticking around if we lose a couple more times. I think I actually want _Lightning_ around more than her, and he's still a total meathead."

xxx

"Hey, c'mon now, don't be sayin' that," Lightning said sternly, now seated at the far right end of the table. "That's _quitter's_ talk, and we are a team of winners. Hamsters ain't gonna lose from here until the merge, nuh-uh," he said confidently.

Courtney smiled at him. "Thank you for the optimism, Lightning, and I totally agree. We are _not_ gonna lose again."

"Sha- _yeah_ , baby!" Lightning cheered, causing Gwen to roll her eyes and blow a slick lock of hair out of her face.

/

The same simple tune that had opened the episode repeated itself as the scene moved to the loser cabin, where Justin was standing on the front porch. The model had removed his shirt and was looking at his sculpted physique in a pair of hand mirrors, currently angled to he could see his back. He briefly lowered them as he noticed Scott walking up with a mild smirk on his face, and a bird flew into the support post while it looked adoringly at his body.

"Hey man, what's up?" the schemer asked.

"Just triple-checking to make sure I didn't get any lasting bruises in the last challenge," the model answered, resuming his self-inspection. "You know, the usual. Hey, nice job with the fake idol last night," he added. "I totally didn't see it coming."

Scott shrugged cockily. "Well, you know, things like that are better left as a surprise. And boy was Al _surprised_."

"Right on," Justin said with a smile.

xxx

"Man, last night was a real let-down," Justin told the outhouse camera. "It was supposed to be my moment to really shine as a villain by taking down the master himself, but instead I get upstaged by Scott's little prank. I can handle being second to someone who's only a _little_ uglier than me, like Alejandro, but someone as hideous as Scott?" He shook his head and laughed. "Yeah, no thanks. I gotta find a way to take control of this game and fast, and that means I have to get on Noah's good side, or whichever is slightly less _deformed_ at least."

xxx

"Now that Al's out of the picture," Scott explained in the next confessional, "I gotta be on my guard. The others are sure to see me as the biggest threat left even _if_ they don't realize getting rid of Alejandro was really my idea. I gotta lie low and turn them against each other until I'm safe. What I'd _really_ like is some blackmail material, but that kinda dirt just doesn't turn up every day." He sighed. "I still can't get over the fact that Courtney's on the other team. I totally could've turned that whole blackmail situation into a working relationship by now!"

xxx

The static cut away to the inside of the cabin, the camera panning on to Noah who was lounging in his lower bunk and reading a book. "What," he said dully at the sound of footsteps approaching, not bothering to lift his eyes.

"Hey man," Justin greeted, the shot pulling back to show him walking over, "just wanted to say sorry for what happened last night. I know you were trying to get in good with Alejandro."

"Yup, sure am mad about losing my number one ally last night," Noah said, his voice still dry and his eyes still locked on the page he was reading.

"But don't worry," the model said, "I have nothing against you. You know, aside from getting me voted out last year," he added with a thoughtful look. "Point is," he resumed his smile, "I'm not gonna go after you next, I have bigger threats to worry about. In fact, I'd be open to an alliance if you want someone to have your back."

"Gee, thanks," Noah said with a scathing level of sarcasm that Justin didn't seem to pick up on. "I really appreciate it."

xxx

"Once again, nobody on this team treats me with any respect," Noah said, staring straight at the confessional camera with a dull expression. "Justin apparently thinks I'm just a footnote, Scott's probably gonna come along and do the same, and Jasmine didn't bother filling me in on last night's _show_ beforehand. And believe me, I would've _loved_ knowing Alejandro was getting the boot. It would've made sucking up to him so much more bearable." He sighed. "But alas, here _I_ am on the bottom. Guess I'm gonna have to remind the others why I _won_ last season."

xxx

/

A nice, lilting, spring-like tune played as a few bluebirds chased each other happily through the trees, and the camera panned over to show Jasmine sitting on a branch and watching them with a mournful sigh.

"What is going _on_ around here?" she asked herself, staring up at the sky. "Lightning's acting nice...Shawn's acting strange...why does everything feel so _wrong_? Am I... _missing_ something?" she said, bringing a hand to her forehead in confusion. She let out her breath and shook her head. "I gotta talk to someone about this. Maybe Gwen'll have some answers."

/

An airhorn was blown over the camp loudspeakers, startling a seagull that had been nesting in one. "Get your butts to the dock, campers!" Chris announced. "Iiiiiit's _challenge time_!"

/

The scene immediately flashed to the eight non-exiled campers assembled loosely before Chris in the prescribed location. "Welcome all," the host greeted with surprising pleasantness. "Today's challenge involves a trip to the _Fun Zone_ ," he said, narrowing his eyes slyly and laughing. He picked up a party horn and blew it, and a celebratory game show-esque tune played as confetti and streamers rained down over the Heroic Hamsters.

"Woo hoo! Party in the Fun Zone!" Izzy cheered excitedly, earning annoyed looks from Gwen and Courtney.

"Yeah, there's a _catch_ here isn't there," Courtney asked, unamused. "Is the 'Fun Zone' just a minefield or something?"

"Noooo," Chris answered mischievously.

"Lemme guess," Scott sneered from off-screen, "it's a giant septic tank, right?"

"Would that be _fun_?" the host said, even more mischievous than before. "You've had it kinda rough lately, so, I figured...," he paused and frowned in thought, "okay, the _lawyers_ figured you deserve a treat. But, if you'd rather do something else...," he said, the music trilling mysteriously.

The Villains were shown frowning at the prospect of another choice, and as one they shouted "No!" as the music peaked.

"Fun Zone it is!" Chris grinned, walking towards the end of the dock. "Oh, here's our ride," he said with interest over the sound of a puttering motor.

A boat backed up to the dock carrying a rather jittery-looking Shawn on its back. "Zombies? There any zombies around here?" he said, looking around twitchily. "You guys aren't zombies, right? I was up all night keeping an eye out for zombies, and-"

Chris shoved him back into the boat with one hand and stepped onboard. "No worries Shawn, all of us are alive. For _now_. All aboard!" he called back to the other campers.

/

The fog cleared away from the skull-shaped mountain that gave Boney Island it's name.

"Aww man, the Fun Zone's on _Boney Island_?!" Lightning exclaimed off-screen in disbelief as the island's deep, ominous leitmotif rose up in the background.

"Yup!" Chris replied cheerfully. "It works better as a _surprise_ that way."

/

A flash took the scene to the two teams walking behind the host down a forest trail. "Uggh, the less time we spend here the better," Gwen complained as she looked around. "I can still smell that _yeti_..."

"Come on, now," Chris said. "Maybe _someone_ will finally find the invincibility statue?"

"I spent two _nights_ searching for that thing," Jasmine scowled.

"Yeah, and I spent an entire _day_ ," Scott added. "There _is_ no statue, just say it!"

" _Yeees_ , there _is_ ," Chris corrected. "But it's hidden _in_ the Fun Zone, and, whoever finds it gets to keep it!"

The shot cut back to the campers as they smiled brightly and began to cheer.

/

Yet another flash put the cast in front of a massive crenelated stonework gatehouse set in a high wall made of logs. Several colorful balloons were anchored to either side of it.

"Welcome to the outside of the fabulous _Fun Zone_!" Chris greeted with arms spread wide, an odd yet cheerful tune playing as the camera panned across Scott, Noah, Gwen, and Izzy, the former three looking up at the building with dull and wary suspicion while Izzy grinned gleefully. "Patent pending," the host added without missing a beat.

"Alright, let's move it people," he said, the perspective shifting back to show him with his remote in hand. He pressed the button, and said "Keep a steady pace."

The metal gate door slid upward with a whir.

/

The scene flashed inside, a deep and ominous chant playing as the teens entered. A few strange-sounding bird calls filled the air, and the camera panned across an eerily familiar landscape – thorny trees with jagged bark jutting out of the base; odd, giant fungi; strange purple cylinder-like lifeforms covered in spikes. The music reached its ominous peak, and with a pleasant wave from Chris the gate slammed back down as the campers turned around, shock on their faces.

"You are now in the _Fun Zone_ ," Chris announced, appearing on a large television screen fixed above the gate and a pair of large baskets bearing team colors and logos on either side below. "Aka, the most dangerous place you've ever been. Your challenge is easy: put eggs," he held up a small egg with greenish spots, "in a basket. Eggs found here in the Fun Zone belong to all the terrifying mutants from season four," he explained, his feed cutting to static before being replaced by a panning shot of several mutant silhouettes – gophers, squirrels, goats, and even an alligator, "who will try to smash your bodies and eat you."

Izzy, Courtney, Shawn, Scott, and Jasmine were shown watching with a mixture of dread, disbelief, and in one case anticipation. "What's _fun_ about _any_ of this?" Shawn asked.

"Umm...it's fun to _watch_?" Chris answered.

"So...we only have to collect the _eggs_ , right?" Noah followed up.

"You'll be _fine_ ," the host said with a mockery of a reassuring smile. "They're only wild, mutated beasts trying to protect their unborn babies! How bad can it get?" His feed cut to static, and then to a picture of the Vultures' basket against the stock golden background. "First team to get six eggs in their basket wins," he explained as eggs appeared in the basket one by one with a popping noise each time.

"And what do we do if one of the eggs hatches?" Gwen asked.

"As long as you keep whatever hatches _in_ your basket," Chris explained, "it counts. And, as a special bonus, whoever collects the _most_ eggs for the winning team gets a _special reward_. So? Excited? Huh?" he asked eagerly, only to scowl at the sight of Shawn struggling to stay awake.

"Gotta...stay...," he mumbled, "zombies..."

Chris pursed his lips, then raised his red megaphone and yelled " _SHAAAAAAAWN_!" so hard it shook the television he was broadcasting over. The scruffy survivalist screamed and fell over in a cloud of dust.

"Shawn!" Jasmine called out in concern, darting over and picking him up off the ground. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah," Shawn stuttered, "it's just been a while since I've had to stay awake this long..." He straightened himself up, noticed who had helped him, and stiffened. "I-I-I mean, uh, I'm totally capable of staying awake even longer if necessary, so don't mark this as a weakness or anything." He backed away from her as he babbled, until finally he dashed away entirely.

"... _what_?" Jasmine said in utterly helpless confusion.

xxx

"I can't take any chances with Jasmine," Shawn confessed. "If she's really the _enemy_ , then I gotta hide my weaknesses from her so she doesn't tell her bosses to continuously send specially-bred _attack zombies_ at me over a forty-eight hour period until I drop from exhaustion."

He paused, then palmed his face. "Aaaaand now they know anyways because I just blabbed on international TV. Great work, Shawn."

xxx

"The red basket belongs to Jasmine and the other _evil-doers_ ," Chris explained over a shot of the blood red basket blatantly marked with the Vultures' logo, earning a scowl from the girl in question. "While the gold basket is for the Heroes," he added as the camera cut to the Hamster-marked basket. "I'd wish you all good luck," he said as the focus returned to the television over the gate, "but, it's bad for ratings, _so_. I hope some of you get _really_ hurt."

He blew his airhorn, and called out "Begin!" as the campers ran into the woods.

The camera immediately focused on Courtney as she ran up alongside a more casually-paced Gwen. "Uh, hey," the ex-CIT said nervously. "Wanna team up for this? It'll be easier to find the eggs if we're together, not to mention safer."

"No thanks," Gwen answered plainly. "I'm good."

"But...but why?" Courtney asked with a confused and worried frown. "We're teammates, we should work _together_."

"Hey, I'm not gonna sabotage you or anything," Gwen said calmly. "I just don't wanna work with you on this." She walked away, leaving Courtney to hang her head sadly.

She raised it again when she felt a strong slap on her shoulder. "Pick that head up, girl," Lightning told her with a boisterous smirk. "You want a partner, then look no further cause I'm the best there is. Now let's go!" he said, grabbing her by the arm before she could protest and dragging her into the forest with a startled cry.

/

A flash took the scene deeper into the forest, where Justin was warily walking down a path. "Okay, just gotta keep an eye out for all the hundreds of things that could leave a serious scar. No biggie," he said, chuckling nervously. He stopped in his tracks when he heard a strangled grunt coming from nearby. With wide eyes he crept over to a mutant tree and leaned out from behind it, raising his brow at what he saw.

The camera panned over to show Scott by one of the strange purple spires that dotted the forest, struggling to remove a tentacle coming from it which had latched on to his face. Justin walked over with a calm smirk, grabbed his flailing teammate around the waist, and pulled his loose. "You gotta watch your steps around here, man," the model said, "these mutants will-"

Scott turned around, and Justin shrieked and recoiled. "What?" Scott asked in annoyance as the shot cut to a close-up of his face, now covered in suction cup-shaped welts.

"That thing really messed you up," Justin said, still disturbed by the sight of the farmer's face.

"I noticed," Scott said dryly before breaking out into a smirk. "Say, how about we work together on this? We already proved we make a good team last night."

"Ohh...yeah...good idea, man...," Justin said blandly.

/

The scene moved to Noah walking through a different stretch of mutant jungle. "Okay," he muttered in thought, "maybe if I play up what Justin did, Scott will get jealous for him taking the attention away from his little stunt with the idol..."

As he spoke to himself he stopped in front of a large bush, which soon began to rustle. The music rapidly and dangerously peaked as a pair of slender dark-skinned arms reached out of it, grabbed Noah around the mouth, and dragged him into the foliage as he tried to scream.

"Shhh!" he was shushed as soon as the camera cut to the other side, revealing Jasmine sitting on her knees over him. She removed her hand from his mouth, and he sat up with a look of extreme aggravation.

"What's the big idea?!" he hissed.

"What's _your_ big idea wandering around alone out in the open like that?" Jasmine countered. "This is mutant territory, mate, you should know better!"

"Hey, I was handling it just fine!" Noah said, causing Jasmine to frown in dull disbelief.

The shot cut back to the path as the two campers poked their heads above the top of the bush. Noah gaped as the camera zoomed out, showing a massive mutant hermit crab walking down the path he'd been on.

"See?" Jasmine whispered as the two retreated back behind the bush.

"Yeah, hiding seems like a good idea right now," Noah said, sitting on the ground with his back to the leaves. "Though I'm a little surprised you actually _care_ seeing how you didn't tell me about the plan last night."

Jasmine sighed. "I'm sorry, mate, I wanted to, _trust_ me. But you kept hanging around Alejandro, I didn't have the chance!"

"Well, I wanted to make sure Scott didn't have the chance to talk to him alone," Noah admitted with a hint of sheepishness. "I guess not getting in on dumping Alejandro was my own fault then, huh?"

"It doesn't matter anymore," Jasmine told him, looking up out of their cover once again. "C'mon, the coast is clear," she said, standing up and pulling him along with her.

/

The music trilled softly as the focus flashed to a small cliff face, where Shawn was climbing up to a lone blue egg nestled on a shallow ledge. "Almost...there...," he said as he reached out a hand for it, his finger tips only just touching the edge of its nest. With a grunt he grabbed onto its ledge instead and used it to pull himself higher...only for a piece of stone to break away, causing the egg to lose its balance and roll off the cliff. "Aww, crap!" he swore, reaching out to grab the egg with his now-free hand only to fumble again.

A dramatic tune played as the camera followed the egg down, and down, and into the pale hands of Gwen. "I got it!" she called up to her teammate as the shot pulled back.

"Sweet, thanks," Shawn said with a smile, dropping down next to her with ease.

/

Another flash put the scene back at the Heroes' basket as Shawn delivered the egg, causing a blaring trumpet to sound off. "First egg goes to the Hamsters!" Chris announced over the Fun Zone's loudspeaker, and the shot cut to Courtney and Lightning listening in an cheering. "You better get your butts in gear, Vultures!" the host added over a shot of Scott and Justin looking up in irritation.

Gwen and Shawn turned back and ran towards the woods, only for the goth to skid back to a halt. "Hey, wait," she said, causing her teammate to stop as well. "What's to stop the _Villains_ from stealing out eggs?" she turned and asked the television.

"Integrity?" Chris answered with a smirk over the live feed.

"Not exactly in high supply over there," Gwen said, sharing a glance with Shawn.

"I didn't make a rule that they can't," Chris said, "soooo...I guess they can."

"Guess one of us should stay back and guard the nest then," Shawn told his teammate.

"I'll do it," Gwen volunteered. "I had enough of these mutants _last_ season."

Shawn shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said before turning around and running back into the jungle.

/

The scene moved to Jasmine and Noah stalking through the jungle, the survivalist spotting something off-screen and sticking a hand out for her partner to stop. "Hold on, take a gander over there," she whispered, pointing to the left as the music began to trill again. "It's Larry," she said as the camera panned over to the massive mutant flytrap, currently buried in the ground with only his leafy maw, tongue-flower, and a single root-limb sticking up. "And it looks like he's got an egg," Jasmine added, the shot zooming in to the large, green, dimpled sack being cradled in the plant-beast's tentacle.

"Not even gonna ask," Noah said dryly.

"Well, at least its something we know how to deal with," Jasmine said, pulling some vines out of the trees around them. "I'll grab that flower of his and get him to chase me, you grab the egg and take it back to the basket."

"Uhh...that doesn't...," Noah said warily.

Jasmine finished tied a loop in her vines, and placed a hand on Noah's shoulder. "Don't worry, I can handle it."

The music spiked dramatically as Jasmine charged out of the underbrush, twirling the vine like a lasso. She roped the flower with ease and yanked it off its fleshy stem, taunting "Too slow, mate!" as Larry's leafy maw snapped closed and she ran past with a grin. Larry rose out of the ground and gave chase as the background score became booming and tense, leaving the egg behind.

Noah darted forward, hunched over with his wide eyes looking around. He grabbed onto the massive egg case and pulled with all his might until the leafy roots holding it in place snapped, and he fell back on his butt.

Jasmine looked back over her shoulder at the chasing flytrap, and smirked. "Sorry, Larry," she called back, holding up the flower she'd stolen, "but if you want it back, you'll have to work a lot _harder_!" On the last word she tossed the flower like a disc into the jungle, and with a ferocious screech Larry stomped after it.

/

A few unseen birds tweeted as the next flash-cut put the focus on Scott and Justin searching on the shore of swamp. "There's gotta be _something_ around here," the farmer griped as he overturned a rock near the dirty green water to find nothing.

The camera panned over to Justin, a finger on his lip as he looked around the area. "Maybe we're missing something."

"Yeah, you think?" Scott called back irritably, still crouched by the water but oblivious to the trail of bubbles approaching him.

He screamed when Izzy shot out of the water with a warbling battlecry, tackling him backwards and pinning him to the ground with four arms. "Aaagh! Aah! G-get off me, you _freak_!" he shouted as he struggled against her.

Izzy just laughed. "No way, Scottie! There's only room for _one_ evil around here, and that's El Maléfi-waaah!" She was cut off by her opponent, who finally managed to fling her off him. She flew screaming past Justin, who barely sidestepped in time, and slammed back-first into a tree. The camera panned up and the music trembled oddly as an egg fell from a hollow further up the trunk, rolling down the wild child and coming to a stop next to Justin's foot.

"And I'll take that," he said confidently, scooping the egg up. "I'll just go take this back and let you handle Izzy, okay?" he said with a cheery finger pistol and wink as he walked past Scott, who had gotten back on his feet and was dusting himself off.

"Wha?" Scott said in confusion, turning his head as his partner walked off and in doing so leaving himself open to another tackle from Izzy.

/

"Hurry, we're almost there!" Jasmine called out as the scene moved back to the gate, Gwen still waiting by the Heroes' basket with a rather surprised look on her face.

"Have I mentioned this thing weighs a _ton_ yet?" Noah replied in a strained voice, the camera panning over to show him still carrying Larry's massive egg sack as he and Jasmine approached. "Because it does!"

The two made it to the Villains' basket, but as Noah strained to lift it and Jasmine moved to help, it suddenly began to squirm and wobble. "Uhh...," was all the slacker could get out before it exploded into greenish-yellow goo...and several baby versions of Larry that promptly skittered around the ground. Noah and Jasmine groaned, the former covered in goo, and the music took an odd and eerie turn as the camera zoomed in on a particular plant-baby that was walking past Gwen.

It's face resembled Chris' enough for the goth to grimace in horror.

The shot cut to the host and his assistant outside the walls of the Fun Zone, the main man watching a live feed of the strange plant-baby from a wooden deck chair atop a small platform. He averted his eyes and whistled with failed nonchalance.

The awkward tension was broken by Justin, who ran up with an oblivious smile and put the egg he'd found in the Villains' basket. A trumpet blare lead in to a triumphant tune as Chris was shown on the monitor with a megaphone to his lips. "And the score is one-all!" he announced.

"Alright!" Noah cheered, now mostly cleared of plant-goo. He shared a short high-five with Jasmine.

"Pretty good, aren't I?" Justin said cockily. "Hey, Jasmine, how about you stay here and guard the eggs while me and Noah go and get some more?"

Noah snorted. "Why would our strongest-"

"Actually," Jasmine interrupted with a look to the right, "that's okay with me."

"Uhh...," the slacker said in mild shock before Justin but a hand on his shoulder.

"Cool, cool," the model said, dragging his new partner away. "We'll be back with some more eggs before you know it."

The camera lingered on Jasmine as she watched them go. "I take it you had an _ulterior motive_ for staying back here?" Gwen asked with a small smile, the shot pulling back to show her standing confidently by the Heroes' basket.

"Yeah, you got me," Jasmine replied with a smile of her own before she dropped it for a sigh and walking closer. "Look, this is hard for me to say, but I need some advice," she said, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand. "I'm having trouble processing what's been going on with a couple people."

"Really?" Gwen asked, an eyebrow perked in confusion. "Who?"

"Well, Lightning for one," Jasmine admitted. "Was he always as...team-oriented as he was yesterday?"

"Uhh, pretty much, I think?" the goth said. "Like, he's been surprisingly cool all season, for a big-headed jock anyways."

"...really?" the ex-Hero asked, pinching her fingers together and adding "Not even, like, a little bit villainous?"

"Not that I can tell," Gwen said. "Did you seriously only just notice this?"

"I guess so," Jasmine replied, holding her forehead in shock. "Have I really been treating him like a bad guy for no reason?"

"Wow, looks like it," Gwen said with mild shock of her own. "Didn't you realize something was up when me and Harold didn't vote for him after the leechball challenge? Or when Chris switched you to the Villains after you were almost eliminated?"

"I just thought he needed _someone_ to switch with Courtney and I was the best choice because Lightning had convinced the others to vote me out," Jasmine said, staring down and pacing around. "Though in hindsight," she looked up at Gwen with a pitiful look, "I guess that was pretty wrong."

"Yeah, I'd say," the goth said, visibly stunned.

/

A fast-paced challenge tune started playing as the shot cut to a close-up of a red egg speckled with green cradled in Shawn's arms. The scruffy survivalist was huffing as he ran up to the Heroes' basket, sighing in relief as he finally placed the egg alongside the one he'd found previously.

The trumpet blared again. "That's two eggs for the Heroes!" Chris announced form off-screen, causing Gwen and Shawn to smile and cheer.

"You would _not_ believe what I had to do to get that thing," Shawn began to say, until he noticed something to the left and the camera zoomed out to show Jasmine watching him with a sheepish smile. "Uhh...I'll tell you later, actually. Gotta go get more eggs!" he quickly said, his eyes on Jasmine but his words directed to Gwen. He laughed awkwardly, then dashed away.

"What was _that_ about?" Gwen asked in confusion.

"I have no idea," Jasmine said, her face forlorn. "It's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about. For a while me and Shawn were really getting on, y'know? But lately he's been acting like...well, _that_ , around me," she explained with a motion in the direction her former teammate had ran off in.

"Huh," Gwen said, a thoughtful finger on her chin. "I remember you two really hit it off when he had that cameo last season. Did you ever see him outside of the show?"

Jasmine shook her head. "No, I never got the chance. But I decided to follow along with his work online. Take an interest in his interests, y'know?" Gwen nodded thoughtfully. "I got pretty into it, even found a few places who had information before the newspapers. Long story short, I got in touch with Sierra – you know, the older contestant?" Jasmine looked up as she explained and gesticulated, and Gwen perked a brow. "Turns out she's a really big fan of our whole season, which was pretty embarrassing at first. She said she especially liked _me_ , although for some reason she kept pronouncing my name with an ess-aitch instead of a jay." Gwen paused, blinked, then palmed her face, though Jasmine didn't seem to notice. "Anyway, she hooked me up with a _load_ of up-to-date information about what Shawn was doing, even up to right before the season started."

Gwen dragged her hand down across her face, then stared at a confused Jasmine. "And let me guess, you shared that you knew all that stuff about him without explaining _how_ , right?"

"...yeah?" Jasmine admitted sheepishly.

/

The feed stopped there, a pause symbol appearing over it before the camera cut back to show Chris and Chef at their viewing station outside.

"It's hard-boiled down to _two_ eggs for the Heroes, and _one_ for the Villains," Chris said as the capstone theme began to play. " _But_ , the challenge is far from over-easy!" he punned again. "Who will win? Your...," he held up a sheet of paper and read it with an awkward smile, "... _quiche_ is as good as mine..." He frowned, and Chef snickered. Chris threw the paper away, and finished with "Stay tuned to Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

As the scene lingered on the zoomed-out shot of Boney Island, Chris said "Yeah, I'm gonna _fire_ whoever wrote that."

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on a pair of rattle-gulls flying through the mutant forest, the camera panning down to show Courtney and Lightning making their way along the path. "Man, how could you _stand_ living on an island full of these freaky things?" Lightning asked as he looked around at the bizarre foliage, and even a giant maggot dressed in the same outfit Courtney's team had chosen a year before.

"Well it's not like we had a choice," Courtney said. "We couldn't just leave, not with a million dollars on the line."

"I hear that," the jock said. "For a million dollars, even _Lightning_ would put up with a bunch of mutants."

Courtney snorted. "I bet we'd both put up with a _lot_ of stuff for a million dollars. Of course, it'd all feel for nothing if we lose..."

Lightning sighed. "Yeah, Lightning knows too well how much losin' bites," he said. "Three seasons and four eliminations?" he shook his head. "Lightning is _not_ gonna let it happen again."

"Is that why you're so gung ho on the hero thing?" Courtney asked.

"What? Girl, don't be kiddin' me," he replied with a look of mild annoyance. "Lightning isn't actin' heroic because he thinks it'll help him _win_ , he's actin' heroic cause he _wants_ to!"

"Really?" Courtney asked skeptically, momentarily distracted by a giant fly buzzing past in the background.

"Heck yeah!" Lightning said. "If there's anything Lightning's learned from bein' on this show it's that actin' like you're better than everyone is _not_ the way to go. He didn't realize that til way too late, though, so now he's taken the, uh, opportunity to put that stuff to sha- _work_. If it helps him win, then cool! But if not," he shrugged, "at least he can try to overcome the crippling depression of losin' for a fifth time by remindin' himself of the good he's done."

"...huh," the ex-Villain said blankly, looking down in thought.

She was brought out of her head by a sudden cackle, accompanied by a sudden rise in the music and a yell of "GET BACK HERE WITH MY _EGG_!" She and Lightning tensed up, eyes wide with shock as Izzy suddenly swung down on a vine with a large orange-striped egg in her many arms. She landed in front of her teammates, and dodged behind them as Scott came running up angrily.

"Hey, I found that fair and square," Scott sneered, extending a demanding hand towards his fellow redhead, "so hand it over!" Izzy just leaned out between Courtney and Lightning, stuck two thumbs in her ears, and blew a raspberry at him.

"Sorry Scott, but it looks like it's finders keepers!" Courtney taunted. "Izzy, let's go," she turned and told her teammate.

"Yes sir!" the wild child replied with a husky voice and a sharp two-handed salute.

"Lightning, keep him busy!" Courtney added.

"Sha-on it!" the athlete replied with an eager grin as the two girls ran off, hunching down and extending his arms to block Scott.

"Uggh, dude, what are you...," Scott grumbled, trying to sidestep Lightning but failing. "Would you get out of the way?"

"No way, dude," Lightning replied, grabbing the farmer as he tried to dart under his arms. "Lightning's playin' for the Heroes, and right now that means stoppin' _you_."

"So what, you're just okay with taking orders from Courtney?" Scott asked as he struggled to either break free or get past. "Even though she used to be a villain like me?"

Even while grappling with Scott, the jock still found time to shrug. "Hey, Lightning used to be a villain too way back when, but he got over it just like she's tryin' to."

Scott snorted. "You seriously believe that? She hasn't changed a _bit_ from her last season!" Lightning raised an eyebrow in confusion, and Scott continued. "She started off acting all chummy with her teammates, but once the merge hit she showed her true bossy, backstabbing colors." As the schemer continued to talk, the camera focused in on Lightning's face as it slowly dropped into a mix of thoughtfulness, annoyance, and suspicion. "She's already been doing that this time, remember? First she gets us Villains to rally behind her, only to immediately try to get in good with you guys the minute she switches over. Heck, the whole reason she got switched in the _first_ place was because she refused to shoot Gwen in the leechball challenge! Take it from me, man, she might be my type of woman but she's _not_ trustworthy."

"Pfft, and why should _Lightning_ believe a word you say?" the jock scowled.

"Hey, if you want proof, go ask Gwen," Scott said nonchalantly, stepping back from athlete while he was off-guard. "She'll tell you _exactly_ what I'm talking about."

Lightning's brow furrowed as he looked down in thought, which gave Scott the opportunity to finally dart around him and run off. "Later, dork!" he taunted as the dramatic challenge music returned.

"Sha- _dip_ ," Lightning swore, turning on his foot and running off after Scott. "You get back here, you country-fried chicken!"

xxx

"Lightning isn't sayin' he _believes_ that chicken," the jock confessed, "but he _is_ sayin' he's finally gonna ask goth girl what the deal between her and bossy girl is."

xxx

"It's not what I was originally planning on," Scott said in the next confessional, "but it looks like that dirt I got on Courtney might have just come in handy after all. Nothing like a little suspicion to make things interesting," he said with a devious grin.

xxx

"Okay, I'm not exactly a psychologist or anything," Gwen told Jasmine as the scene flashed back to them at the gate, a few deep and dull notes playing in the background, "but between Lightning, and Shawn, and even Harold I'd say you're having trouble letting go of the past. It's like, I don't know, you've built up mental images of all of them and can't see them as anything else, or something."

"...really?" Jasmine asked skeptically.

Gwen shrugged. "Hey, like I said, I'm not a psychologist."

It was then that a sudden whoop got their attention, the focus moving to Gwen as she stepped to the side to allow Izzy to slam the egg she'd stolen into their basket without issue, Courtney running up behind her. "And the Heroes are up 3 to 1!" Chris announced after the usual trumpet blare.

The three girls cheered, and while Izzy quickly ran off back into the woods Courtney stayed behind. "So, uh, Gwen," she began with an awkward smile, "mind if I stay back here to guard the eggs? I'm a little tired from running around."

She received a level glare in return. "I kinda do, actually," Gwen said tersely, "but don't let _me_ stop you. You never have before."

Courtney laughed awkwardly under her former friend's harsh gaze, and backed away. "Okay then, I'll just...go find some more eggs," she said before darting away.

The camera pulled back away from Gwen annoyed face as she noticed Jasmine giving her an odd look. "And you say _I'm_ the one living in the past?" the survivalist said.

/

A flash took the scene to a large rock formation with Noah standing near the middle of it. He rubbed his chin as he looked around for a moment, then snapped his fingers and walked off with a smirk as the camera panned back to a small cliff on the left. Up a ways from the ground was Justin, clinging to the side and brandishing his shirt like a whip. His attacker was a flying mutant fire-breathing mountain goat, hovering above him angrily as he tried to get to its nest.

"Come on," the model said with a surprising calmness as he ducked under a bout of fire, "your breath may be hot but we both know I'm _way_ hotter. Just give up and let me have your eggs, okay?"

He reached up for the nearest large, blue egg, only to be answered by another jet of flame that caused him to yelp in panic and drop along with his prize. He landed on the ground with a thud, and rubbed his head as he glared back up at the goat. "Okay seriously, that could've done some _major_ damage to my hand, so I'm gonna have to ask you to _stop_."

He screamed and rolled to the side out of the way of another angry blast of fire-breath. Now lying on his belly with his hands on his head in terror, he ceased trembling after a moment and opened his eyes. They immediately went wide, a few dramatic notes being struck as the camera pulled back to reveal the McLean Brand Chris Head lying on the ground before him, between the two broken halves of the egg he'd tried to steal.

xxx

"Hello, _hello_ ," Justin said in an almost seductive tone as he held up the idol in one hand and looked it over closely. "I'd call you gorgeous, but I'd be lying. Still, nice to know the idol is in the right hands."

xxx

"Check it out, I actually found something," came Noah's voice, causing Justin to swiftly and frantically grab the idol, stow it behind him, and stand up. "You manage to grab the goat eggs, or was it exactly as bad an idea as I thought?" the slacker added, emerging from a gap in the rock formation carrying a pair of small black-speckled eggs.

"I hate to say it, but you were right," Justin frowned as his teammate approached, his idol now hidden in some unseen back pocket. "The only egg I got my hands on ended up breaking," he added, pointing to the discarded egg shell on the ground.

"Figures," Noah said dryly as he walked past the model. "I knew those things were gonna be as useless as they were last year."

/

"Great, now I've _completely_ lost Izzy," Scott grumbled as he walked through the mutant jungle. "Thanks a lot," he shot back over his shoulder, the camera panning to the right to show Lightning still following him.

"You're welcome," Lightning replied harshly. "Like Lightning was gonna let you try and score an egg anyway." The farmer just rolled his eyes in aggravation.

Just then, Courtney came running down the path at them, skidding to a stop right in front of them and pausing to catch her breath.

"Hey, old teammate," Scott greeted with a dark smirk, "long time no _see_. Whatcha been up to? Find anything...interesting?"

"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked in irritation. "I just went with Izzy back to the nest, and then I came back to find Lightning so we could keep looking for eggs."

"Suuuure you did," Scott said with an exaggerated wink.

Courtney growled in disgust and shoved him to the ground with one hand as she walked over to her current teammate. "So, I take it you never found any other eggs?"

"No, but neither did chicken boy," Lightning answered. "Speakin' of, what was he sayin' about you findin' something interesting?"

The ex-villain snorted. "Probably just thought I went looking for the idol. As if I had time." She began to walk to the right down the path, Lightning absentmindedly following alongside her.

"So...you're sayin' that you woulda looked for it if you could?" Lightning asked, the camera panning down to Scott crawling away with a devious smirk while his opponents were distracted.

"Well, yeah," Courtney admitted, the shot cutting back to the two Heroes walking in the opposite direction. "Who wouldn't? The idols are pretty powerful."

"Yeah, and so is Lightning," the jock boasted. "Watch this," he said, darting over to a mutant tree with a noticeable hollow. "Sha-lightning!" he exclaimed, delivering a swift punch to the tree trunk that caused a decently large yellow egg to come tumbling out of the hole above him. "See?" he said simply and proudly, catching the egg in one hand.

Courtney snorted and giggled. "Well, I can't argue with results."

A thunderous crash and a few deep notes startled the pair, and the camera panned up and over to show a massive, hulking raccoon with tiny little insect-like wings sprouting out of its neck walk up to the tree, reach inside the hollow they'd gotten their egg from, and find it missing. It turned an angry snarl on Courtney and Lightning, and the two ran screaming.

/

"Finally, I can get back to looking," Scott told himself with a rather dark yet happy smile. "Eggs, idols, who cares so long as it's..." He paused suddenly, the viewpoint moving a few feet directly in front of him and pulling back and up as his eyes and smile widened at the barest sight of what looked like a massive nest filled with large purple eggs sitting on the ground. "All _mine_!" he said in sheer delight.

/

The trumpet blared again as Noah and Justin arrived at the Vultures' basket, the slacker dropping the two eggs he'd found into it. "And the Villains tie things up three-all!" Chris announced via his megaphone.

"Great job, mate," Jasmine smiled. "It's about time somebody brought some eggs in."

"Uhh, speaking of," Justin said warily, pointing back to the right. The camera panned over to Gwen at the Hamsters' basket as Shawn arrived, also depositing an egg.

"Scratch that, it's 4-3 in favor of the Heroes now!" Chris quickly corrected to another blow of the trumpet.

"Alright, just two more," Shawn said tiredly, turning around to head back out before Gwen grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry, about it," she told him. "I'm sure the others will be able to get those last two eggs soon. Take a rest, you deserve it."

'Well, if you say so," Shawn said uncertainly.

The camera panned back to the three Villains present as they turned their attention from their rivals to each other. "Yeah, how 'bout you guys go back out and I stay here to guard the nest," Noah suggested. "Especially you, Jasmine, I'm surprised you stayed here for so long when you're probably our best shot at winning this."

"Oh, yeah, right," the survivalist said sheepishly. "Guess I just got caught up in guard duty or something. I should probably get going."

"And brutal bad girl Jasmine _finally_ re-enters the game after letting her teammates do most of the work," Chris announced suddenly as the survivalist began to leave, appearing on the hanging television with a mischievous smirk.

"I'm not a _bad girl!_ " Jasmine objected fiercely.

"Hey, actions speak louder than words," the host countered. "Though your words just now _were_ pretty loud. Kinda like what you'd expect from a villain with a temper."

Jasmine just growled and stormed off, leaving behind the wary-looking foursome of Noah, Justin, Gwen, and Shawn.

/

The scene flashed to a close-up of the massive nest Scott had found, the eggs inside shifting and shaking at an even rhythm in time with a series of familiar grunts. After a couple seconds the camera finally pulled back, revealing that Scott was carrying the giant thing on his back and straining with the effort.

"C'mon," he told himself as the shot zoomed in on his tightly-clenched face, "just gotta keep... _going_...Gotta... _win_ this..."

He stopped suddenly and opened his confusion-filled eyes, the camera panning left and pulling back to show Jasmine holding the leading edge of the nest. "Hold on there, let me help you with that," she told him.

"And what," he sneered, "let you take credit for bringing all these eggs back? No way! _I_ found them, _I'm_ gonna get that reward for scoring them."

Jasmine frowned sternly. "You're not gonna score _anything_ if we don't get this nest back before the Hamsters bring two more eggs."

As if on cue, Courtney and Lightning ran past with the large yellow egg still in the jock's hand. Jasmine and Scott watched them go, then looked at one another. "Well?" the survivalist asked expectantly.

"Pfft, it's just one egg," Scott scoffed. "I _don't_ need your help."

Izzy promptly ran past with a wild cheer, holding a rather plain white egg above her head with an extra pair of arms.

Jasmine pried her widened eyes away from her former teammate to glare at her current one. "Okay, _fine_ ," the farmer conceded.

"Good, now let's move!" Jasmine said, grabbing on to the nest and lifting it up high enough that Scott could stand up straight again.

Tense and fast-paced challenge music started up as they ran off, the footage immediately skipping ahead to show them neck-and-neck with Izzy. A trumpet blared in the distance, followed by Chris announcing "And the Heroes are up _five_ to _three_!" The shot panned over to the gatehouse, where Courtney and Lightning were celebrating with Gwen and Shawn. "The Villains will need a _miracle_ to win now," Chris added.

Scott and Jasmine's brow shot up in panic, but they quickly narrowed their eyes in determination and sped up to pass Izzy once and for all. The wild child, however, merely grinned ominously. As her foes passed her the camera zoomed in on her feet as she suddenly crouched down and struck a leg out in Scott's path, causing the farmer to trip and fall forward with a wail. The nest slammed down on top of him.

"NO!" Jasmine cried out as Izzy ran away cackling to the cheers and encouragement of her fellow Hamsters.

Izzy quickly made it to her team's nest, and the usual triumphant tune began to play as she began a victory dance. "Alright, Izzy rules!" she cheered, the egg still in her hand despite the growing annoyance of her teammates. "Touchdown!"

The music screeched to a halt as she slammed the egg down on the ground like a football to the horror of the other Heroes and the shock of Noah and Justin as well. It instantly broke apart, revealing some kind of three-eyed rabbit with bright green spots on its body and the barest nubbins of antlers on its head. It wiggled its nose and looked around, then glowed purple, rose into the air, and floated away.

"Oh, haha, _whoops_...," Izzy laughed nervously as her teammates glared at her.

"Ooh, tough break for Team Hero," Chris said from the comfort of his chair outside the Fun Zone walls as the tense challenge tune resumed.

The shot cut over to Jasmine and Scott – now slightly dazed – arriving with the massive nest once more in hand. With a couple grunts of effort they tilted it over their basket, and the large purple speckled eggs tumbled out.

"Seventeen to five!" Chris announced as the trumpet blared one last time. "The _Villains_ win!" The four teens in question began whooping and cheering in celebration as the triumphant music played once more, their rivals groaning and directing their glares at a rather sheepish Izzy.

"And just so we're clear," Scott piped up, pointing a finger fiercely and sweeping it across his teammates, " _I'm_ the one who found these eggs, got that?"

"Yeah, yeah, we got it," Jasmine said in annoyance.

"Now, before we head home," Chris asked calmly over their monitor as the victory music wrapped up, "did anybody leave anything behind, that they'd like to get?"

The shot cut outward to show the whole cast as they exchanged confused looks with one another. Chris chuckled. "Just checking."

/

A low, plodding tune started playing as the footage skipped forward to the cast walking up to the beach, their boat anchored just off shore.

"Hey, do you think anybody found the real invincibility statue?" Jasmine whispered to Noah as they walked behind their teammates.

Noah shrugged. "Who knows. Most of us had the time to look for it, but it's not like anyone would just come clean about it."

"I guess we're just gonna have to be careful of it from now on," Jasmine said. They stopped at the edge of the water, and the camera panned over to show Justin watching them out of the corner of his eye, a slightly nervous look on his face.

xxx

"Having this thing is a lot of responsibility," the model said idly, looking critically at the statue he'd found. "I gotta be careful and think about how I use it. Guess it'll be a test of how much I've grown as a strategist, huh?" he said, tapping the side of his head and chuckling lightly.

xxx

The footage skipped ahead again to twilight on the cabins, Gwen sitting on the steps of the loser lodge and drawing something on a sketchpad.

"Yo," came the voice of Lightning, causing the goth to look up from her work to see him walking over from the right. "You got a minute? Lightning's got something he's been meaning to ask you."

"Uhh, go ahead?" Gwen answered cautiously.

"Right, so," the jock said, stepping onto the steps without a second thought, "Lightning didn't really watch much of last season, so, he was wonderin' what the deal between you and bossy girl was."

Gwen's face fell. "You mean Courtney?"

"Yeah, her," Lightning said brightly.

The goth sighed and looked down, a low but slightly touching tune rising up in the background. "Look, it's not that complicated. We were on the same team, and while she was pretty hard on everyone at first I forced her to chill and then we, I don't know, basically became friends." She let out a single harsh laugh. "I mean, it's not like we had any _other_ girls to talk to on our team. But then right before the merge, _Chris_ forced both teams to eliminate someone from the other, and _Courtney_ ," he eyes narrowed and her fists clenched in anger, "betrayed me by asking Izzy to vote for me or my boyfriend. One guess who Izzy chose to vote for."

"Whoa...," Lightning said, sitting down with a speechless expression.

"Yeah. Needless to say I'm not exactly gonna trust _Courtney_ again any time soon, no matter _how_ sorry she says she is," Gwen said.

Lightning nodded blankly, then furrowed his brow in thought. "And...hold on, there was somethin' else too...," he said, causing Gwen to perk a brow. After a moment he snapped his fingers. "Right! Scott said that bossy girl didn't wanna shoot you in the leechball challenge, and that's why she got moved to Team Hero."

"Really?" Gwen asked, her face scrunched up in confusion. "Because at the time he was acting like it was all some _trick_ to catch me off-guard. But then...why _did_ Courtney get switched over here anyway? I thought it was just because she got the Villains to band together, but now I'm not too sure..."

Lightning furrowed his brow in confusion as well, and a few deep notes were struck in the background music.

xxx

"Okay, that didn't answer as much as Lightning was hopin' it would," the jock told the outhouse camera with an air of annoyance about him. "Lightning doesn't really know if he should be trustin' bossy girl or not, but he thinks it would be more heroic to give her the...uhh...err...," he tilted his head and scratched it as he tried to think of the words. "Somethin' with doubt? Whatever, man," he said, straightening up. "Point is, Lightning's gonna give her a chance."

xxx

The ceremonial theme began to play as the scene moved ahead to the moon-lit island, the Hamsters' logo twirling into place on-screen before it cut to the campfire pit. Chris was leading the Heroes into the clearing, and the camera panned past Izzy and Courtney to focus on Lightning, Gwen, and Shawn.

"Okay guys," the goth whispered as deep and/or trilling notes began to play, looking from one boy to the next to be sure she had their attention, "you remember the plan, right?"

"Perfectly," Shawn nodded.

"Consider it sha- _done_ ," Lightning added as exuberantly as a whisper could get.

/

"Congrats on the victory, Villains," Chris said as a few more deep notes were struck, the shot moving to the Peanut Gallery to show Noah and Jasmine in the top row and Scott and Justin below. "Scott, since you tipped over a dozen eggs into your teams basket," the host said as the camera moved to him, "you win a _special_ prize that'll come in handy at the next challenge." A few more deep notes played, and the Villains shot looks at their grinning comrade. "But, I'm keeping it a secret til then," Chris added impishly to a few long trills. "I mean, why spoil the surprise? Heroes, time to vote." The camera zoomed out to show the five teens in question sitting on their stump seats, the two boys in back with Gwen and Courtney flanking Izzy who sat with an eager grin front and center.

xxx

Courtney gave a short sigh as her voting confessional began, her eyes focused on the photo she was crossing out. "Honestly, its nice to have such an _easy_ decision for once. I mean, who else could it be?"

xxx

Shawn was next. "Sorry, but you do have it coming," he plainly told the photo in his hand as he crossed it out with an audible squeak.

xxx

Izzy was third, holding up a single photo in each of four hands sprouting from her shoulder. A fifth hand was tapping the sharpie to her lips as she thought deeply, a sixth hand serving as an elbow rest for it. "Hmmm...," she said. "What would _El Mal_ _é_ _fico_ do?"

xxx

"Okay then!" Chris announced as the static cut back to the ceremony, a tray of four marshmallows now resting on the host's hand. "The vote have been tallied, and the following Heroes are _safe_." He picked up the first marshmallow, and said " _Gwen_."

The shot panned to the goth as she caught her prize with batting an eye, then looked behind her. "Lightning. And Shawn." The two boys were unsurprised as they received their marshmallows, and shared another nod with Gwen. She looked to her right, the camera moving on to the other two girls.

"But...why am _I_ on the bottom?" Courtney asked fretfully as Izzy began to tremble nervously.

"Who knows?" Chris replied with an infuriatingly mysterious smile before picking up the last sweet from his tray. "But the final marshmallow goes to..." he said as the elimination theme reached its peak and held there for a few seconds as both girl was shown waiting anxiously. " _Courtney_."

The ex-villainess let out a sigh of relief as her prize landed in her lap, and the shot panned to Izzy as she stood dramatically, reached behind her back, and took a deep breath.

"NOW!" Gwen shouted, the camera pulling back as she and Shawn and Lightning all pounced on the unpredictable redhead.

"Por qué?" Izzy asked in shock, sprouting a few more pairs of arms in her struggle against the three only for them to be quickly grabbed by Lightning.

"I do _not_ wanna risk you running off into the wilderness like last season," Gwen explained, gripping the girl around the chest while Shawn held her legs.

"Actually," Chris interrupted with a smug smile, the background score taking a dramatic twist, "that's not gonna be a problem. Well, tonight anyway," he added as an afterthought as he walked over.

"Uhh...why?" Shawn asked warily.

"Because I've got another surprise _twist_ for you all!" the host explained with a giddy mischievousness. "Tonight's ejected _Hero_ is _tomorrow's_ new Villain!" he said, the camera moving to show his hand motioning to the girl in question, now bearing a positively ecstatic grin.

" _What_?!" the remaining Hamsters said as one, Courtney even leaning in to the shot to do so.

"That's riiiight," Chris repeated slowly as the music became low and tense. "Instead of flushing Izzy, I'm sending her over to the _Villains' side_!"

Nearly everyone gasped dramatically, and the Heroes let go of their former member. Izzy grinned and cackled eagerly. She turned around and leapfrogged over Lightning, landing in front of the Peanut Gallery and waving happily. "Hey guys! Happy to be on the team!" she told them as they exchanged unhappy looks.

"I'm sure you'll all get along," Chris said as he walked over. "Now, I do still need one of you to volunteer for exile, but to allow her to get to know the rest of you, it won't be Izzy. So, any takers?"

Scott, Noah, and Justin, all wide-eyed, immediately leaned forward and thrust their arms into the air with pleading cries of "Me!" and "I'll do it!" and "Let _me_ go!"

Chris smiled impishly and tapped his chin. "Wow, you're all so keen it's hard to choose. But how about...," he said, waving his finger around in a drawn-out fashion, " _Justin_." With a definite thrust from the host's digit, the model seemed to deflate in relief while Scott and Noah just sat back in their seats and grumbled.

Justin chuckled as he stood up and walked to the left past Scott. "Sorry boys, and good luck," he told his teammates. The shot cut to him boarding the former Boat of Losers at the dock, and he was whisked away into the night.

xxx

"Lucky _jerk_ ," Scott sulked in the confessional, his eyes glaring at the door while he aggressively whittled a piece of wood. "Izzy is just about the _last_ person I wanna be around, much less have on my team. Why couldn't the Heroes have voted off someone I _like_ , like Courtney?" He immediately froze up. "Uhh, not that I _like her_ like her," he attempted to explain, "it's just that she's pretty and I like being around her. I mean," he corrected again, "I still wanna _work_ with her. But at least if I'm not in exile I can still talk to her. Plus, another night in that _spa hotel_ is worth having just about _anyone_ around."

xxx

"Honestly, Izzy's no big deal," Jasmine told the outhouse camera. "Sure she's annoying, but not so much that I'd want to go back to Boney Island right now. I've got more important things to do, like making things right with Shawn and Lightning. Not to mention helping Gwen with Courtney," she added after a moment's thought. "Is it weird that I care more about the other team than my own?" She asked with a slightly troubled look. "The _last_ thing I want is Chris to act like I'm some big _villain_ for not liking most of my teammates."

xxx

The static cut away to the fire pit as Gwen, Courtney, Lightning, and Shawn walked away with their heads hung in shame. The shot panned to the right a foot to show Chris watching them, and he quickly turned his smile to the camera. "Four Heroes and five Villains remain," he said as the capstone theme began to play. "Who's next to be thrown home from the throne? Find out, when we return with more Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Credits)

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Sorry, but no bonus clip today - you can't pick somebody up if nobody is eliminated! And if I'd done any behind-the-scenes stuff it would be difficult not to have spoilers as showing any of the other pick-up teams would imply who they're picking up. Sorry to disappoint you.

Anyway, not much to say about the episode. The title took me a depressingly long time to figure out for a seemingly simple egg-based pun. Izzy, being Izzy, was the only obvious choice I had for the team switch. As for the non-elimination round being here in particular, well, 'Suckers Punched' works better, I think, with a cast of nine.

Most of this episode was devoted, of course, to personal interactions and development, with Jasmine and Courtney as the focuses. And Justin too, I guess, as he found the idol. I wonder how that'll end up? I have a few ideas, to say the least.

And, uh, sorry if you were hoping to see more mutants. I was more focused on the dialogue so I ended up cutting some without even realizing it entirely, then going back and adding some other stuff.

But yeah. Let me know what you thought of the episode! Next week we have loads of grudge matches, which is fun. It's also the middle of the season, and the end of the pre-merge portion! Also fun.

See you then!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)


	7. Chapter 7 - Suckers Punched

**Author's Note**

And here we are at the middle of the season! How time flies, though it seems like I was just saying that about last season not too long ago... Anyway, we're at the final challenge of the team portion of the game, and boy is it a fun one. Same for the merge episode next week - I haven't actually finished writing it yet, but I've really enjoyed writing it so far and I really think these two chapters are gonna be loved.

But enough with the hype, let's get on to the substance. By which i mean answering the reviews.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Oh, is that so? Shame, I kinda like her even if she's a little hard to write sometimes. Well, I hope her presence doesn't spoil the episode then, though I doubt it will.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks, as always.

 **Animation Adventures:** Haha, well, I wasn't done with Izzy quite yet. As for the idol in Justin's possession...well, it's gonna make things interesting to say the least. I'm glad you enjoyed the development everyone received last week and i hope you like how things continue to play out as well. And yeah, Sierra may very well be considered the go-to source for Total Drama info for most journalists nowadays.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Yeah, to say the least. But hey, most people have issues with something. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the fights!

 **bruno14:** Well, that's just the way things are I'm afraid. Let's see now...well, I'm happy you're enjoying Izzy and Lightning for the humor they bring. Same thing with the friendships between the other girls, and how Jasmine and Courtney are trying to fix their problems. Not much to say about Noah, but I will say that Scott is definitely feeling a little something for Courtney.

 **moka evans:** Fair enough. I'm glad you're looking forward to this chapter, and perhaps how the plots with Courtney, Jasmine, and maybe even Justin interact with it?

 **ashDanLand:** Ah, well, I suppose that's what I get for not including more mutant scenes. Still, I'm glad you liked it! Izzy is definitely not in a good place right now, not that she's ever really been in a good place in the game. Jasmine definitely growing up, I think. And yeah, neither Justin nor Noah is really seen as a particularly big threat by their teammates, but that could all change. I...don't think I really know what you mean by me adding things that my readers want? Like, I've always tried to make it a goal to put what I want for the story first, regardless of what my readers necessarily want. But at the same time, I'm also willing to draw inspiration from them, so if anything they mention gets added to the story it's because I thought it was a good idea and not because they wanted it added.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Well then, I'm glad you like how I've been treating the characters! I do try my best to flesh out everyone that I can. And...honestly, I think you may be right about Shawn. He's never been much of a stand-out person within the plot. Season one he kinda learned how to trust others but was mostly in the background; season two he was out early; and season three he was basically a side character in the Bridgette-Geoff subplot early on with Scott trying to turn them against each other. And fair enough about Izzy, but I will say that we are at the point where she becomes more important to the story.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Thanks! Honestly, I'm happy I was able to get so much character development in last episode. Also, good to see someone else who's happy with Izzy still being around. And yeah, Scott not having much of anything to fight was why I gave him the pass. As for episode 9...well, let's just say I've been putting a lot of thought into what I'm gonna do for it, and I think it's gonna be fun.

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, well, I'm glad I could brighten up your day. And technically, Sierra calls it 'Shasmine' or something like that, so that it rhymes with 'Jasmine'. And yeah, I don't think anybody really saw Sierra as Jasmine's source coming. Maybe because I didn't mention anything about it during Sierra's cameo in episode two? I don't know. Anyway, I'm glad you're liking my take on Jasmine. As for Gwen...yeah, I can see why you'd be frustrated with her. And as for thing between her and Courtney ending up like canon, have no fear - that was a total asspull with no point to it. Like, Courtney didn't even bother defending herself; maybe she'd revised the list she'd made or something. Other than that...yeah, safe to say there's gonna be a lot going on, and a lot coming up. The milestone episode is part of that, and I think I've got a great plan for it. Anyway, I wish you best of luck with your own story.

 **TotalDramaTotality:** Yeah, that's pretty much it. Glad I was able to surprise you a bit with the source of Jasmine's info. Lots of things are in motion right now, and I'm eager to see how you react to it.

 **I. M. Poik:** Haha, yup, the non-elimination had to go somewhere and last week was the best place to put it. I'm glad you're enjoying all the many goings-on, and I hope you enjoy what happens next.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Mm, yeah, a key difference between a Hero and Villain, at least in the context of a reality show, is their motivations. Villains tend to care more about finding a way to win at all costs, whereas Heroes care about those around them so while they want to win too, they're more particular about their methods. This then translates into what teams of them end up doing. To clarify the Jasmine-Shawn situation, what basically happened is that Jasmine came on a little too strongly in terms of sharing what she'd learned about Shawn from Sierra, which scared Shawn (already a conspiracy theorist) into thinking that maybe part of secret group that was out to get him. Which is completely wrong, obviously. Jasmine's only just clued in to the fact that she messed up, so only time will tell if she'll be able to make up for it.

 **BuckJohnson:** So about half the cast then? Lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what I have in store!

 **VIPGuest:** Welcome back, then! Sorry to disappoint you with Justin getting the idol, but I have my reasons. And I hope it doesn't detract from the rest of the season.

 **OMAC001:** Haha, I hope you like them!

 **DSX62415:** Hmm, well, I think you may be overreacting a tad.

 **link9753:** Great to hear! Jasmine's certainly got some things to think about, although most of the cast do at this point. And the Villains in general...well, things are never gonna be easy with them, that's for sure.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Ahh, long time no see! I'm glad you enjoyed World Tour and RotI, it always warms my heart knowing so many people love my little series. Despite the sheer length of your review, I don't think there's a lot I can say. I'm glad you enjoyed the changes I made to canon (such as actually bothering to explain some of the odder team members), as well as the nods to canon I included (like Harold's elimination). Let's see...Alejandro underestimating somebody again...well, it wasn't entirely that this time. It's more that he never even considered the possibility of the idol being fake, so even though finding it blatantly in Scott's bed was a little suspicious he had no reason not just to accept it at face value. And while Noah was quite content to work in the background last season, this time around he came in expecting people to already know he's a winner and thus treat him as a threat like he feels they should. Having them mostly just think of him as a side-note has got to be a little jarring for the guy. As for the others, well, I'm glad you're liking how they're developing, more or less. I hope you enjoy what comes next!

 **FOWLKON:** Hah, well, not everything can be a surprise. Though I do feel like I've been saying that a little too much lately...oh well. Justin and Scott certainly have their own takes on game strategy right now, but who knows what'll come of it. And yeah, Scott's basically crushing on Courtney. Jasmine's development and self-realizations have been pretty enjoyable to write so far, not much else to say there. And I'm glad you liked the shout-out to the canon Paris episode with Izzy's loss. The Chris-related jokes...well, I could hardly do away with such classics, could I?

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks, it just seems like something they'd have learned to do after everything that's happened. And yeah, Izzy's not really evil, she's just mischievous and chaotic. And you know, a lot of people have questioned whether or not Justin would actually hold on to the idol. Strange, but whatever.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, that's pretty much what you gotta do with those non-eliminations - advance the various subplots, or else what was the point of the episode? Honestly, I don't think anyone was expecting Justin to get the idol. He's not really...the idol-finding type, you know? But hey, it's a point of interest going forward. Let's see, what else...well, it should probably go without saying that this week's episode is gonna be good for developing several things, so there's that. I'm definitely liking having Scott be crushing on Courtney while still being his devious self, though what becomes of it has yet to be written. And as for the fights, I will say that Noah and Justin's were the toughest to find opponents for. Seriously, I never really wrote them with an opponent in mind for this episode...

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Glad you liked it! Character development is always fun to write. As for the dynamic on the Villains' team, it's safe to say Izzy's addition will change things. Though what, exactly, it means for everyone is something you'll have to read on and find out.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Agreed. While Mal did have his moments (I do think his breaking of Sam, Sierra, and Duncan's things was a valid and effectual bit of evil), he was mostly just...an edgy screen hog. Like, this episode and the next both had a lot of focus on both him and Mike's inner self, which means I've been able to happily craft new scenes of actual substance to take their place. It's been pretty exciting.  
But yeah, anyway...don't feel too bad about not predicting Sierra's role in the Jasmine-Shawn conflict, it doesn't look like anyone really expected that to be the case despite how obvious is apparently seemed in hindsight. I'm really happy with how the Jasmine-Gwen scene went down, both as an important part of the story and as a scene I hoped people would like. Both of them have had it, and the associated development, coming for some time now. Most of the cast has had similar moments, I think; Justin getting the idol may prove to be one of them. Lightning...honestly, it's been surprising how well his development has gone despite me not doing much beyond thinking of Lightning through the lens of a hero. I guess that's all it takes sometimes.  
As for ScottxCourtney...well, I do think she's his type at least. Whether or not anything of real substance develops from it, I haven't quite decided yet. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this week's challenge!

And that's those taken care of! For now, anyway. As I'm sure you all know, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

The cast is currently as follows:

Heroic Hamsters: Gwen, Lightning, Shawn, Courtney

Villainous Vultures: Justin, Noah, Scott, Jasmine, Izzy

But this is the last time those teams will exist. There's gonna be a lot of punches thrown today, so I hope you're all ready for them.

Limber up, and enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 7 – Suckers Punched**

"Last week, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened as the recap montage began on a pan across the mutant jungle of the Fun Zone. He waved to the cast and camera before the metal gate slammed down in front of him, cutting the campers off from the outside world, earning the shock of Scott, Noah, Gwen, and Courtney. "The campers were treated to a day in the Fun Zone, where anything can happen except fun," the host continued over shots of Jasmine and Noah hiding from a massive hermit crab; Larry roaring; Courtney and Lightning fleeing from a massive mutant raccoon; and Justin trying and failing to fend of a flying mutant fire-breathing mountain goat.

"Justin found the hidden invincibility statue," Chris said over a close-up of the idol and the eggshell that had held it, "and barely managed to keep Noah from finding it too." The model was shown hastily picking up the carving and hiding it behind him before his lazy teammate arrived with eggs in hand, apparently none the wiser. "Also, a bunch of people...talked, or something," he said over clips of Jasmine and Gwen conversing, as well as Lightning speaking with Courtney, then Scott, and then Gwen. "I don't know, it was boring without any mutants."

"Anywho, in the end the Villains got the victory," the host said as Scott and Jasmine were shown tipping a massive nest full of eggs into their teams' basket. "And, _Izzy_ was headed to the Flush of Shame," Courtney was shown receiving the final marshmallow, and the other three heroes pounced on the mutant wild child before she could make her last stand. "Before I pulled off the biggest surprise of the night and made her the newest member of the Villainous Vultures instead," he added as the cast gasped dramatically and Izzy jumped over to greet her new teammates ending the montage.

"Can the Villains hold their lead?" Chris asked the camera, now lounging in a pool chair with a cup of some hot drink in hand. "Will the Heroes live up to their name? Will my _breakfast_ get here before _lunch_?!" he called out irritably. "Find out right now, on Total!" The shot cut outward to show him at the side of a pool, palms and bushes planted behind the row of chairs with a large hotel-like building behind him, "Drama!" Another jump-cut revealed that he was at what appeared to be the very resort the losing contestants had stayed at back in season one. "All-Stars!" The final cut showed the whole island from a distance, as usual.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A pleasant, lilting tune played as the scene opened on the common area, both spa hotel and cabin area included in the shot...until the music suddenly turned deep and tense as the shot quick-panned away. It landed somewhere in the woods, where Scott was running at top speed with his arms held out in terror. "Get _away_ from me, you freak!" he yelled back over his shoulder.

"NEVER!" Izzy replied, the camera moving to the left to show her giving chase on eight arms like some sort of bizarre spider. She cackled to herself, then pounced forward and tackled Scott. He hit the ground with a grunt, and soon got forcibly turned around so he was face-to-face with the girl pinning his to the dirt.

"What is your _problem_?" he asked, his voice a confusing mix of outrage and panic. "Why do you keep messing with _me_?"

Izzy gave pause, looking away and rubbing her chin in thought. "Good question. I guess it must be instinct or something," she said with a happy shrug.

The music spiked dramatically again as the camera cut to a net on a rope being shot from the bushes. A cut back to the two redheads showed Izzy roll to the side, then grab onto the net's line with two of her arms. "Alright, who's there?" she yelled demandingly.

Fang promptly rose up from the bushes, a snarl on his face showing off his still-missing tooth. "Oh, hey buddy!" Izzy said with a sudden brightness, gripping on to the rope with another pair of hands. "Long time no _see_!" With a fierce grin she yanked hard on the rope, pulling an unprepared Fang out of the bushes and to the ground on top of Scott. The dust of his landing quickly enveloped the screen, with one of Izzy's limbs occasionally sticking out with rope in hand.

When the cloud finally settled, Fang and Scott had been tied up back-to-back. "Woo!" Izzy said with a laugh, now sporting only two arms as she clapped her hands together and walked away. "Thanks for the cardio, guys! We should do this again some time."

As she left the scene, the camera zoomed in on her two victims. Fang promptly growled at Scott, who met his gaze with a look of wide-eyed panic. "Whoa, hey, hold on there!" the farmer said quickly and defensively. "I'm on your side!" The mutant shark stopped growling and gave Scott a suspicious yet curious look. "We both want Izzy _gone_ , right?" Scott asked, and Fang nodded with a dark and toothy grin.

"Then how about we work _together_ , and take her down _once and for all_?" Scott added, the music rising quickly and ominously as human and shark shared the same devious look.

/

A much calmer tune quickly replaced it as the scene flashed to the porch of the loser cabin where three of the four Heroes were eating plates of what looked like eggs, bacon, and green toast.

"Okay, toast should _not_ look like this," Gwen said in disgust as she leaned against the railing and picked up her discolored slice.

"Too true," Courtney said, mirroring the gesture on the steps while Lightning nodded next to her.

"So?" Shawn interjected, suddenly swinging down from the roof through the gap between Gwen and the wall, startling his teammates with his thud of a landing. He quickly stood up and swiped the toast from Gwen. "It might _look_ nauseating, but you'll be glad to have this stuff when the undead have destroyed the cities and you have a _cold_."

Gwen shuddered and held back a retch, and Lightning and Courtney both looked at him warily. "Uhh, sure, dude," the jock said.

"Anyway, you guys seen Jasmine around here?" Shawn asked, his eyes darting around nervously as he walked across the porch.

"Ain't that her over there?" Lightning answered, pointing in the direction of the spa hotel and raising his brow as Shawn yelped in fear and dove over the far railing of the cabin porch, and ran away.

Seconds later, the shot pulled back as Jasmine ran up. "Darn it, I keep missing him!" she said.

"Well of course he's gonna keep running away if you keep acting like you're _chasing_ him," Courtney pointed out.

"But I can't apologize for anything if he's not around," Jasmine countered with a frown, looking in the direction her fellow survivalist had fled in. She sighed. "Well, I guess I'll just have to talk to him later. At least Lightning's here."

The shot cut to Lightning, his mouth overstuffed with food as he grunted in confusion.

"Err...yeah...," Jasmine said, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck. "Look, mate, I'm sorry for the way I treated you when we were on the same team, you didn't deserve it. You're a better team player than I gave you credit for." She offered him her other hand.

Lightning quickly swallowed. "You bet I am!" he boasted, quickly shaking her hand. "And don't you forget it!"

Jasmine smirked, and clenched his hand tighter. "And don't _you_ forget that I'm not gonna go easy on ya just because I messed up, mate." Lightning smirked as well, and the two competitors were shown locking eyes against a background of roaring flames.

The view returned to normal as Gwen and Courtney briefly shared a disbelieving glance.

"Goooood soon-to-be-painful morning everyone!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker, breaking Jasmine and Lightning's attention away from each other. "Head to the Chrisiseum, prrronto!" The shot cut to the vibrating loudspeaker as the announcement finished up. "Today's challenge isn't gonna hurt itself!"

/

The scene immediately flashed ahead to the two teams walking single-file through the woods – four Villains in front, four Heroes behind. The camera focused in on Courtney and Gwen, the former approaching the latter with a sheepish smile as if to talk, only for the goth to look away and hustle forward. She slowed back down once she was at pace with Jasmine, the taller girl looking backward in mild concern.

"What was that about?" she whispered. "I thought you and Courtney were getting along better lately."

"It's...complicated, okay?" Gwen replied. "I'm trying _not_ to get comfortable around her."

Jasmine raised an eyebrow. "Remember what you told me about not living in the past?" she said. "I think this might be the same thing. I know she hurt you, but if she's genuinely trying to make up for it you might need to at least try and put it all behind you."

Gwen just gave another low sigh, and the shot moved back to her teammates.

"Something wrong, princess?" Shawn asked a worried-looking Courtney, causing the girl to flinch slightly.

"Oh, uh, no, it's nothing," she said quickly before turning away from the boys and walking ahead. Shawn and Lightning shared a confused shrug.

xxx

"Look, I wanna believe the guys are looking out for me," Courtney confessed, "but ever since I received votes against me last night I've been a little on-edge. I don't know _who_ it could've been...I really think I've been making progress with Gwen, so I don't want to think _she_ did it. But I don't think any of the others would have a reason to do it either. I just don't know what any of this _means_ , and until I do I don't know if I can really get behind a team that might secretly want me gone."

xxx

"Now that ol' Nutty is on the team, I think it's time I finally started making my move," Noah told the outhouse camera. "I figure between her and Jasmine I can make a good run of keeping myself on top of this game, but I also gotta make sure the others don't try anything to stop me. Scott especially, he's about as slippery as _Al_ was."

xxx

A few deep notes played as the static cut away to Noah and Scott in the middle of the Villains' part of the pack. "Hey man," Noah said, elbowing the farmer lightly in the side, "I bet you must be excited about the merge coming up."

"Yeah, what of it?" Scott sneered.

"Hey, just saying it'll be the first time you made it," Noah replied, raising his hands defensively. "I'd be extra careful if I were you, especially around Justin. He might be a total cheeseball, but he _was_ the ringleader of Alejandro's elimination." A close-up of Scott showed him grimace in annoyance. "Plus he's had the best shot of any of us at finding that idol," Noah added matter-of-factly.

Scott snorted, then smirked. "Good point. Hey, how about you and me form an alliance to take him out?"

"Sounds like a plan," Noah smiled.

xxx

"I hate to say it," Scott confessed thoughtfully, "but the nerd might be on to something. Even though _I'm_ the one who got rid of Alejandro, Justin knows how to avoid getting eaten by those mutants and he has enough of a brain to at least _know_ where to look for the idol. Pretty boy could actually a threat worth dealing with. Only question is who do I take out first: him or Izzy?"

xxx

/

Silence reigned as the scene moved to Boney Island, the ever-present fog parting slightly as the camera flew towards it's skull-shaped peak.

"Justin!" Chef Hatchet called out, the shot cutting to him walking along a lonely stretch of beach. "Time to head back!"

"Ch...Chef?" came the trembling and frightened answer, prompting the hulking man to look around for its source. "Is that really you?" Chef's brow shot up in surprise as Justin finally emerged from the forest, twigs and bits of leaves in his hair and a few patches of dirt in his slightly-wrinkled clothes. "It is!" Justin said in delight, running forward and hugging the older man.

"Uhh...," Chef said awkwardly, his wide eyes darting around.

"You have no idea how much I missed seeing actual people, Chef," Justin said, letting go of the man. "Even hideous ones like you!" Chef scowled, but Justin ignored it. "Seriously, man, I had to sleep on _rocks_ and _dirt_ last night, and I nearly got _trampled_ when I told a moose its antlers were ugly. _Please_ tell me you have my make-up kit and a change of clothes. And, like, a few hours to wash my hair and exfoliate."

Chef just pursed his lips and crossed his arms.

xxx

Justin was plucking his eyebrows as his confessional opened, and already back to his usual standard of beauty or thereabouts. "Okay, between giving my teammates a chance to strategize behind my back and, even worse, sleeping _outdoors_ ," he said while continuing his manscaping, "last night was the worst in my life. I _never_ should've volunteered for exile, Izzy or no Izzy. I still have the idol, at least, but I'm worried that the others will have guessed that I found it by now. And I can't _afford_ to worry," he said, lowering his hand mirror. "Last night's damage was bad enough, I don't need wrinkles on top of it."

xxx

"Welcome to Camp Wawanakwa Coliseum!" Chris greeted, a shot of last season's 'Chrisiseum' giving way to the host and non-exiled campers standing inside. Chris himself was standing in what looked like a regulation boxing ring, while to the campers' left and back a ways was a scoreboard at the top of two tall wooden posts.

"A _boxing ring_?" Scott asked, unimpressed.

"Pfft, not as bad as the last time I had a challenge here," Noah scoffed.

"Yeah, but what tops a _finale_?" Courtney asked as the shot moved to the Heroes.

She received no answer, the camera merely cutting back to the ring as Justin and Chef walked up. "Lookin' good, Justin," the host commented. "Have a good night on Boney Island with all the animals? Give the _Fun Zone_ another visit, or did you not need to?"

Justin just chuckled awkwardly and kept moving.

Chef leaned in closer to the host, put his hand up to shield his voice, and whispered "That boy nearly _cried_ when I told him we only had your brand of hair gel on the boat." Chris frowned in annoyance.

"H-hey, guys," Justin greeted his teammates awkwardly. "How's it hangin'?"

"It isn't, yet," Izzy answered cheerily. "But I can go get some vines if you'd like."

"Uhh...maybe later?" the model said warily.

The shot cut back to Chris. "Gree-tings, playahs," he opened coolly. "The recipe for today's disaster is a hearty helping of season one's 'No Pain, No Game' challenge," he explained. " _With_ , a pinch of 'Phobia Factor' for extra zing."

"Doesn't sound too appetizing," Shawn said.

"Get ready to sink your soon-to-be-missing teeth," the host continued, now walking away from the ring, "into the Wheel of Misfortune." He came to a stop next to a large wooden disc mounted on a wooden post, and the camera zoomed out to reveal that it had been divided using masking tape into eight equal sections. A piece of paper bearing the colored silhouette of something familiar had been taped into each subdivision; clockwise from the ticker at the top were a brown clown face, a pink potted plant, a dark blue shark, the light blue image of a certain former contestant, a green alligator, the gray image of a certain current contestant, an orange bear, and a black moose.

'The rules are simple," Chris explained. "Spin the wheel, and go a full two minutes with whatever the wheel lands on. Win the match, and earn your team a point. Fights will be judged impartially by Chef," he motioned to the hulking man as he walked over on the other side of the wheel, "and myself. First team to win three battles is the _champ_."

"Alright," Lightning said, "now _this_ is a challenge Lightning was made for. Bring it on, bro!"

Chris snickered to himself. "Oh believe me, it will be _brought_. Now, leeeeet's get ready to _pum-melllllll_!" he said in a deep fight announcer's voice as a suitably grand theme rose up in the background...only to stop abruptly.

"Whoa, hold on!" Scott objected. "What happened to the reward you promised me?"

The host stared at him blankly, then sighed. "I was hoping you'd forgotten about that," he explained with a twinge of annoyance, "but, being MVP in the last challenge, you don't have to box. _And_ , on the off chance the teams are tied two-all when everyone else has had a turn, you will be counted as a tiebreaker point."

"Yes!" Scott cheered, pumping a fist in excitement with his teammates joining in with varying levels of enthusiasm.

" _But_ ," Chris interjected with his usual smile, "you Villains also have to go first. Who's rumble-ready?"

"I am!" Jasmine volunteered, walking past Izzy, Justin, and Noah. A close-up showed her setting the wheel into motion, a game show theme playing as it spun round and round. Chris winked cheekily at Chef, who winked back and pressed a small button sticking out of the ground with his foot.

"Say hello to your foe," Chris said over a close-up of the ticker at the top of the wheel as the whole thing slowed down, landing on the picture of the pink flower pot. " _Larry_!"

"Really?" Jasmine repeated, raising an eyebrow. She looked over at the boxing ring, and a dramatic tune played as the massive mutant flytrap was lifted into it via a hidden elevator. Comically, it was wearing boxing gloves on its two largest root-limbs, but its roar nevertheless earned panicked gasps from the male Villains.

"Whoa, you're seriously making her fight that thing?" Justin asked in disbelief.

"Don't worry about me," Jasmine said, accepting a pair of boxing gloves from Chef and slipping them on. "Every encounter I've had with Larry has ended in my favor, and this time won't be any different."

"Uhh, are you sure about that?" Noah asked warily. "Not that you _aren't_ the strongest person here, but all your previous 'victories' over Plantzilla involved a lot of running away. Plus, I'm pretty sure it has a grudge against you now."

The shot quick-panned back to Larry, who growled at the other end of the ring. The camera zoomed out to show Jasmine entering. "Like I said, I'm really not that concerned," she said, looking towards her teammates while walking further into the ring.

She looked back at her opponent just in time to see the punch heading towards her face. It hit its mark with a heavy thud and a dramatic spike in the music, and her teammates gasped. The shot cut back to her as she wiped her face with her wrist...and then smirked. "Sorry, mate," she taunted, "but you're gonna have to work on your punches."

Larry's leafy 'head' seemed to flinch, and with a growl he punched at her once more. Jasmine easily jumped over it, however, allowing her to get in close and land a strong right to the main grassy bulk of her foe's body that sent Larry staggering back a step, the screen flashing and music spiking at the impact. The process repeated as Jasmine followed up with a left, and then another right, and then winding her left arm up for the strongest punch yet, pushing Larry into the ropes. They sagged and strained under the gigantic mutant's weight, but while Larry soon recovered from the repeated blows he quickly stopped growling as he seemed to raise up from the ring. The camera panned over and down to show Jasmine squatting below her opponent, giving a strained grunt as she lifted him with her shoulders up and out of the ring. He landed on his 'head' with a mighty crash, the rest of his shrubby self arching over backwards.

"Larry!" Chris gasped in concern, running over to check on his pet.

"See, what'd I tell ya?" Jasmine said confidently as the camera cut back to her, dusting her gloved hands together as she walked back to her corner of the ring. Justin, Noah, and Scott shared a wide-eyed and wary look.

xxx

"Remind me never to get in a fight with _her_ ," Scott told the outhouse camera with fear in his eyes.

xxx

Chris, still by Larry's side, hung his head and sighed deeply. " _Fine_ ," he said bitterly, "Villains get their stupid point." He knelt down close to his pet, stroked its leafy maw, and sweetly whispered "It's okay Larry, you'll get her next time."

The nearby scoreboard updated to show 0-1 in favor of the Vultures, and the five of them cheered.

"Okay, looks like I was wrong," Justin said. "Another win like that and we'll practically be golden."

"That's assuming the Heroes don't do as well as Jasmine just did," Noah told him. "If they start winning, you're gonna have to step it up and earn us a point too."

The model laughed nervously. "Uh, what about you? Don't try and place this all on me, you can win a point too."

"Yeah, but these noodle-arms won't exactly make things easy for me," the slacker replied, holding up an arm and wrapping his fingers around it to emphasize its scrawniness. "You, on the other hand, have the physique of a Greek _god_. Face it, dude, you're the one we're gonna be falling back on to wrap things up. Right?" he turned to Jasmine, Izzy, and Scott for confirmation.

"Pretty much," Scott smirked.

"Try not to mess up, okay?" Jasmine added.

"Oh, but no pressure though!" Izzy added happily.

"Right..." Justin finished with a narrow-eyed and wary stare.

xxx

"Okay, I'm _pretty sure_ that means if I lose here and it costs us the challenge," Justin pondered in the outhouse, "they're gonna try to vote me off. Which is _bad_...or is it? I gotta remember I can just use the idol to save myself. But then what?" He ended the confessional looking just as puzzled as when he'd started.

xxx

The static cut away to show the four Heroes looking wary. "Okay, not gonna lie, still a little bit intimidated by Jasmine's win," Shawn told his teammates.

"Pff, don't worry!" Lightning said, looking unimpressed. "She ain't gonna stop _us_ from winnin'."

"And I don't think she's a threat on a _personal_ level, either," Gwen added with a small smile that briefly caught Shawn's attention.

"Hero time!" Chris announced, the four campers in question turning towards him as the shot pulled out. "Come on up... _Shawn_!"

"Why me?" the survivalist asked.

"Why not?" the host replied with an impish shrug.

Shawn just gulped and walked forward. "This better not be zombies," he said nervously before a close-up showed his hand giving the wheel a spin. The game show theme played again as it went round and round again, the ticker eventually landing on the orange bear.

"Oh man, a zombie _bear_?!" the scruffy survivalist immediately complained.

" _No_ ," Chris corrected in annoyance, "a _regular_ bear. And by regular, I mean very angry and very much alive." He motioned to the boxing ring, the mechanical trap door sliding open and a large brown bear being raised out of it. Like Larry, it was wearing boxing gloves.

Shawn gulped. "Okay, just a _regular_ bear then. I can deal with that, I deal with bears all the time!" he said with rapidly failing confidence.

"Huh, what are the chances that both Jasmine _and_ Shawn would have to face something so personal?" Gwen asked in mild amazement as the camera moved back to the other Heroes.

"One in sixty-four, I think," Izzy answered, bounding over with a smile. "That's assuming each section on the wheel corresponds to one of us, of course."

"Uhh...," Gwen said warily. She cast a glance to the other team, and the camera panned over to focus on Noah.

"She's right," he shrugged plainly.

"Well...okay then," the goth said as the focus moved back to her, Izzy, and Courtney.

"Hmm...," Courtney said, crossing her arms and pursing her lips. "I still thinks it's suspicious, and it isn't the _only_ thing..." She gave her teammates a narrow side-eye, which Gwen raised a brow at.

/

A dramatic challenge tune slowly built up as the scene flashed to the ring, Shawn now wearing his boxing gloves but not looking especially enthusiastic. "Okay, you can do this," he told himself. "You just have to _survive_ for two minutes. No need to get in there and fight it directly, just do your best not to get eaten. Just like you do every other day! Except with boxing gloves."

The bear roared from just off-screen and grabbed him by both shoulders. "Uh-oh," Shawn said with wide-eyed panic just before he was dragged over to it. The camera panned to his teammates in discretion as they watched in horror, the sounds of growling, screaming, and punching coming from the unseen ring.

When the shot finally returned to the match the bear was punching a battered and bruised Shawn into the far left ropes, letting him bounce off, and punching him back in again. After another ricochet the bear wound up a strong left hook that sent the dazed young man careening back into the ropes, but also caused him to spin around and get tangled up in them.

"Time's up, and the bear wins!" Chris announced from the sidelines, earning a small but happy smile from the bear. "The score remains zero to one in favor of the Villains," he added over a shot of the unchanging scoreboard.

The camera cut back to the left side of the ring as Jasmine tried to pull Shawn free from the ropes. "Don't worry mate, I gotcha,"she told him, the boy still dazed and groaning. "You don't have to worry about that bear anymore." She sent a stern glare past him, and the shot cut to his ursine opponent. The bear looked at her, shrugged uncaringly, and walked the other way.

Jasmine finished pulling Shawn from the ropes and set him unsteadily on his feet. "Wha?" he said, slowly regaining his senses as he swayed between Jasmine's hands. "Jasmine?" he added with an uncertain look. "Uhh...thanks."

"No problem," the taller survivalist said with a smirk that soon faded into a frown. "And, umm, this might not be the best time, but I know things have been a little... _weird_ between us lately," she said, standing up straight and looking away, and rubbing the back of her neck, "so I wanted to know if you'd be willing to let me explain myself later on."

Shawn eyed her suspiciously. "...okay?"

xxx

He gave the outhouse camera a shrug. "What can I say, I really don't want her to _actually_ be out to get me. Still gonna take some _precautions_ though."

xxx

"Hilariously pathetic losses like that are _exactly_ what I was hoping to see today," Chris laughed to himself. "Villains, you're up!"

"Ooh! Ooh! Me next!" Izzy bounded up and past with and eager grin. She jumped up to grab one of the higher pegs that rimmed the wheel, and gave it a strong spin as the game show tune began again.

"I hope she gets someone as _annoying_ as she is," Courtney quipped as the shot cut to her and Gwen. The goth chuckled, earning her teammate's gaze and smile.

"I'd _pay_ to see someone that could actually keep _her_ in line," Gwen added. She smiled lightly as Courtney laughed, but the ex-Villain soon forced herself to stop to the goth's confusion.

The shot cut to a close-up of the ticker as it came to a stop on the dark blue shark. "Yes! Excelente!" Izzy said excitedly, turning her head towards the ring.

A dark and dramatic riff played as Fang was lifted into view, wearing boxing gloves and mouthguards.

Gwen and Courtney gasped. "This...might not be so good for us," the goth said worriedly.

"Yeah," her companion added.

"Ooooh, _doggay_!" Chris said with a mock cringe. "Will Fang _finally_ be able to best his tormentor?" he asked the camera. "Or will the _Heroes_ be stopped before they even get started? Find out after the break, right here on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

A deep note played as the episode resumed on a long-distance shot of the island, a bell ringing as the scene moved to a shot of Izzy facing down Fang from a viewpoint just behind the shark's feet. The perspective moved up to a sideways view of Fang's face as he narrowed his eyes and growled in anticipation, the shot cutting to his gloved fists as he punched them together.

The focus then moved to Izzy as she grinned. "Heheheh, ready for round...whatever we're on, Fangie?" she asked. Fang just nodded and punched his fists together again. The point of view moved behind him as he leaned to the side and noticed the other Vultures watching from behind his opponent, and the camera quickly focused in on Scott. Fang winked at him.

Scott immediately tensed up as the shot cut closer to him and his teammates. "Well I guess this is gonna be another easy win for us," Jasmine commented. "I don't think Fang's ever been able to get the better of her since they first met."

"Heh heh, yeah..." the farmer said nervously.

xxx

"On one hand, you have the easy win for one of your teammates," Scott told the confessional camera, raising his left hand like one half of a set of scales. "On the other, you have a mutant shark you promised to help take _down_ said teammate," he said, raising his right hand. "If I sabotage Izzy and we lose because of it, the others might take it out on me. But if I _don't_ try to hurt her chances, I'll have an angry _shark_ after me. And to be honest, I think I'd rather face an elimination I can talk my way out of over a _mauling_ that I _can't_."

xxx

"Stop staring at each other and start _punching_!" Chris demanded, punching his own fists together as the bell was rang once more.

"Oh, El Maléfico can _do_ punching," Izzy said, the camera moving behind Fang's shoulder as she hunched over with a dark grin. " El Maléfico can do punching quite well." She started to chuckle lowly as two pairs of arms slowly slid into existence, one over her shoulder and one under them.

"W-wait!" Scott called from off-screen, causing the wild child's head to snap to his direction.

"What is it _now_?" Chris asked in aggravation, glaring at the farmer who had come up to the side of the ring.

"Uh, just," Scott said, thinking quickly, "just...don't use your extra arms, okay?" Izzy raised an eyebrow in confusion. "You only have the two gloves, right?" the farmer explained, causing his fellow redhead to stow her extra arms and look down at her bright red hands. "If you use any hands that _aren't_ gloved, it'll be cheating! Our _devious_ host could use it to disqualify you!"

"Huh," Izzy said, furrowing her brow and crossing her arms plaintively, "good point. I hadn't thought of that. I'm touched, Scottie, I didn't know you cared!" she said brightly.

Chris laughter brought the camera back to the side of the ring. "Yeah, me neither," he admitted jovially. "But, since Scott was kind enough to bring it up, I'll make it official. Izzy," he turned to the girl in the ring, "no mutant arm stuff or you're disqualified, okay?"

"Sí!" Izzy answered with an unflinching enthusiasm and a single-handed salute.

"Good," Chris said. "This'll make things _way_ more fun to watch."

The shot cut to Jasmine, Noah, and Justin, all looking rather angry. "Yeah, for _you_ ," Jasmine said.

"Obviously," the host shrugged. "Now, let's get this match _on_!" he added the bell ringing once again.

The dramatic challenge music quickly rose up again, and Izzy laughed, slowly turning back to face her foe. "Just don't think this is gonna make things-"

She was interrupted by a punch to the face, staggering back a step as the shot cut outward to show the entire ring once again. "Whoa-ho," she said as she recovered, " _feisty_!"

Fang quickly stepped forward with a quick right jab, forcing Izzy to sidestep in the opposite direction as the perspective moved slightly above them. She quickly countered with a jab of her own, but to her surprise Fang caught it in his larger fist and used it to push her back a step. He followed through with a quick flurry of swings, and while Izzy dodged them all she was still forced to move backwards.

"Hahaa, floatin' like a butterfly!" she laughed as she sidestepped another straight jab...only to find herself in a corner. "Crap," she muttered, quickly crouching down into jumping position as Fang drew close.

She swiftly grabbed his shoulders to leapfrog over him, only for Scott to suddenly scream "LOOK OUT! FANG'S GONNA GET YOU!" Startled out of her jump, Izzy was quickly punched in the gut and hit the turnbuckle. A series of savage blows to the head and chest ensued, shown only by way of Izzy's body reacting to the hits against a radiant red-and-white background.

After only a few seconds Izzy fell forward, battered and bruised, onto the mat. The camera zoomed in on Fang as he bent down, reached into her clothes off-screen, and pulled out his shark's tooth to an almost triumphant chorus and a radiant golden background. The scene returned to normal as he spat out his mouthguard, slotted the tooth into the gap he'd kept for over a year, and walked away with a satisfied look as his rival groaned in pain.

"Ooooh," Chris mock-cringed from the sidelines. "Looks like Izzy lost! Villains still lead by a single point, though."

The shot cut to Scott walking over to his three angry teammates. "What was _that_ for?" Jasmine asked harshly, grabbing him by the collar.

"Yeah, she _lost_ because of you!" Justin chimed in.

"I-I was only trying to _help_ , I _swear_!" Scott said in a defensive panic.

Jasmine snorted, but let him go. "Yeah, I'm _sure_ ," she said scathingly, walking away with Justin.

Scott just frowned as they left, then leaned sideways over to Noah and put a hand up to shield his mouth. "At least this way Justin will _really_ have to step up to get us the win, heheheh," he whispered with a devious snicker. Noah just stared at him.

xxx

"And _you've_ just trashed your chances of allying with the only other real villain left in the game," Noah taunted in the confessional.

xxx

"Alright Heroes, now's your chance to tie things up!" Chris said, a low and tense trill beginning in the background. "Who's gonna take a shot?"

"I will!" Lightning declared, walking over with stoic confidence. "Time to step up and be a _hero_ to the _heroes_."

"Glad to see you're looking forward to it," Chris said with a smile as the jock walked past, "I know _I_ am, heheh." He winked at Chef, Chef winked back, and Lightning stepped up to the wheel.

"Sha- _bam_!" he said as he sent it moving, the game show tune playing but the tense trill still present underneath it. A close-up showed Chef stepping on the hidden button, and another close-up showed the wheel slowing down with the ticker pointed to the light blue silhouette of a very familiar former contestant.

Chris laughed. "Would ya look at that, it's your old _rival_!" he said with barely-contained excitement as Lightning's brow shot up in surprise.

"What a surprise," Noah said dryly as the camera cut to rest of the campers, Shawn and Izzy still bruised and slightly dazed. "Jasmine gets the plant she wailed on, Shawn gets his running gag, Izzy gets her chew toy, and now Thunderjock gets the girl people have been wanting to see him go toe-to-toe with for over two seasons? Four straight rounds of personal beefs doesn't exactly _scream_ random."

"It _does_ seem a little rigged," Gwen chimed in.

"More like a _lot_ rigged," Courtney corrected in annoyance. "What's the point of even spinning at all?"

Chris huffed. "How 'bout this," he said with an irritated squint. "I _guarantee_ , the next spinner will have a non-specific-to-their-personal-terror-and/or-history _opponent_ , _okaaaaay_?" A few drum beats played as he gave a knowing look and slight nod to Chef, who sighed in disappointment.

"But first," Chris said, regaining his usual demeanor, "say helloooo..." He made a sweeping arm motion back to the ring, and the camera cut in close as the next competitor rose up through the mechanical trap door to an intense yet grandiose rock theme. A series of brief shots showed her dark blonde hair; her all-gray sweatsuit; the whistle gleaming around her neck; the boxing gloves on her hands punching together in anticipation; and her ever-confident smirk.

"To _Jo_!" the host finished, the camera pulling backwards to show The Take-No-Prisoners Jock-ette in all her glory.

"Miss me?" she asked in a cocky tone.

Lightning gaped. "Jo? What are _you_ doin' here?" he asked, grabbing the bottom rope that was nearest to him and using it to launch himself into the ring with ease. "Lightning thought you were off followin' some dream!" A pair of boxing gloves were tossed up to him from off-screen, and he caught them without looking away from his rival.

"Ohoho," Jo chuckled, "believe me, it's being _followed_ alright. Not to mention the _other_ big project I've been helping out on, but you'll find that out for yourself." The shot cut to her opponent as he raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Point is," she said hastily, "I had an opening in my schedule, so I figured I'd take McLean up on his offer to drop by and rough you up a bit."

The shot cut away to Chris as he coughed into his fist and gave the jock-ette a stern look, causing her to roll her eyes. "I mean, 'to rough up one of this year's players as determined by completely random chance'," she said, not even bothering to make it sound unscripted.

The uber-jock shrugged. "Works for me. Now let's get it _on_!" he said with a sudden shift into a dangerous grin.

"Oh yeah, that's what I like to hear!" Chris said excitedly, pointing off-camera.

The bell was rang, and tense challenge music swiftly rose up as the two competitors approached one another.

"I hope you're ready to lose again," Jo taunted.

"Oh no," Lightning replied with a shake of his head, "Lightning is _done_ losing to _you_."

Their guards were up with their fists, and the camera cut from Jo's smirk to Lightning's as the boy made the first move. "Sha- _bam_!" he said, feinting left before swinging at her with a right hook.

"Nope!" she taunted, ducking under his arm and stepping forward to deliver a one-two punch combo – the jab with her left hand connected, but the follow-up was knocked aside by Lightning's left.

"Sha- _gone_!" he said, launching an uppercut only to have his smaller foe pull away from it.

"Hah! Think again, Bright- _whoa_!" Jo's jibe was interrupted by a jab, her taller opponent having taken a step to chase her even while his right arm was still raised. She was only barely able to slip past it to the outside, but she managed to counter while his guard was down with a brutal left hook to his stomach.

The shot cut to his teammates cringing in sympathy, then back to the ring as he staggered backwards. "C'mon, Lightning," Jo said with a frown of displeasure. "I know you've got more than _that_. What happened to not losing to me anymore? Don't tell me you're holding back because I'm a _girl_."

Lightning blinked. "Huh, maybe he was?" he said in a tone of quiet surprise. "But no matter," he added with a sudden and determined grin as he got back into stance, "he ain't gonna be holding back no more. So get ready, cause Lightning's gonna _strike_!"

He darted forward and gave her a strong left jab only for her to hastily block it; but before she could take a step back he slammed her in the side with a right hook. He followed it up with a left hook to her face, the camera showing a slow-motion close-up of the impact, then went for a finishing uppercut.

Jo widened her eyes and pulled back just in time, then narrowed them as she stared her opponent down. "Don't go thinking I'll go down that _easily_ ," she barked at him before charging forward, right arm raised at the ready.

"Same here!" Lightning answered, charging forward to meet her.

A rapid flurry of blows ensued, the camera cutting directly from one impact to the next with a jittery note played for each one. First Jo landed a jab to his face; then Lightning landed a cross to hers; she slugged him in the gut with another uppercut; and he sent her reeling with a hook across the cheek. Finally, a split screen showed the two battered and bruised competitors charging again with simultaneous right hooks. Each blow landed with a resounding gong to their rival's face.

The music cut out as they held for a moment, the shot cutting to Chris, to the Heroes, and to the Villains as they all watched expectantly. Finally, both twitched – Lightning stumbled back a step, and Jo fell flat on her back.

"Heh. Good work," Jo said in breathless exhaustion.

"And Lightning wins!" Chris announced as the bell rang. "Heroes are _on_ the board," he added, the shot briefly cutting to show the scoreboard updating. "The score's tied up," the host said, "and both teams need two more points to clinch the win."

Shawn and Gwen began to cheer, with Courtney joining in halfheartedly. "Yeah, go...team..." she said awkwardly, earning an odd look from the goth.

/

The scene flashed ahead to show Chris standing by the Wheel of Misfortune. "Alright," he said, "next up we got a couple of double-headers. The last two Villains will go back-to-back, aaaaand then the last two _Heroes_ will go."

Courtney gasped indignantly. "How is _that_ fair?" she asked. "They could win before we even have a chance at another round!"

"Hey, Noah and Justin would've both had the chance to go before both you and Gwen anyways," Chris pointed out with a shrug, surprising Courtney. "Speaking of...," he added as the focus moved back to him, "Villains?" he asked expectantly.

"You're up, pretty boy," Scott said with a devious smirk, shoving Justin forward. "Time to win one for the _team_."

Justin walked forward, sending a scowl back at the farmer until he reached the wheel. "Okay, you _promise_ this won't be specific to my personal terrors," he asked the smirking host.

"I promise," Chris told him.

"Good, I won't have to face an uglier version of myself," Justin said. He spun the wheel, and the game show tune played.

"Too bad," Noah said loudly as the camera cut to him, Scott, and Jasmine. "I was hoping Al was gonna pop out and get revenge on you for causing his elimination." The shot zoomed in on the farmer as he narrowed his eyes in annoyance, then back to Chris and Justin.

"Sorry," the host said with a smug smile, "but instead of _Justin's_ worst fear, we have..." The wheel was shown slowing down, and the ticker landed on the green alligator. "Noah's!" Chris finished elatedly.

The shot immediately cut to the slacker. " _Mine_ ," he repeated dully. "The thing you wanted to make me fight...was an _alligator_. Isn't that a little generic?"

"I don't know," Chris said impishly, " _is_ it?" He looked to the ring, and a dramatic tune played as the massive mutant alligator with tentacles for front limbs was raised up by the hidden elevator. It roared.

"...yeah, kinda," Noah said, despite being visibly shaken.

Chris groaned in annoyance. "Look," he scowled, "you didn't give us much to work with so we went with the best grudge match we could think of. Now let's just get this over with, okay?"

The bell was struck as the scene cut back to the ring, the alligator towering over a rather nervous Justin. "Hey there, big fella," he said as he walked up to it, his gloved fists not even raised. "You don't wanna _hurt_ me, now do you?" A glittering close-up of his face was shown as he flipped his hair, then batted his eyelashes as his usual dreamy leitmotif played. The alligator was shown staring at him skeptically for a moment, then suddenly sagging in pure rapture.

"That's more like it," Justin said with a confident smirk, walking forward and punching the awestruck reptile in the gut,

His motif scratched to a halt as the alligator snapped out of its trance, looked down at him, and rubbed the place he'd hit. "Oh, sorry about that," Justin laughed nervously as he began to back away, but the mutant merely roared at him and grabbed him with a tentacle. "Uh-oh," Justin said with wide eyes before the alligator threw him to the left and out of the ring.

He landed face-first in the dirt, and flopped down onto his belly with a muffled groan.

"Well that was fast," Chris commented over the shot of the twitching model. "Score is still tied at one-all. Noah, you're up!"

"Great...," the slacker said, walking up with a forced smile on his face.

"What's the matter," the host asked cheekily, "nervous? Don't know why you would be, you're just gonna be up against some mystery opponent with your _entire team_ counting on you to last two minutes against it. You pretty much _have_ to win here if you wanna save your butt from elimination. But hey," he grinned, "no pressure. It's not like you're the weakest member of your team in all areas or anything."

"Sorry, did you say something?" Noah retorted in an almost bored tone. "I was too busy thinking about all the money I still have from _winning_ last season." He spun the wheel, the game show tune played, and seconds later the ticker was shown landing on the black moose.

"Well would you look at that," the host said with his usual grin, "it's _Justin's_ worst fear!"

The camera immediately panned over to where the model had landed to find that he'd gotten back on his feet. "Hold on, how hard did that alligator hit me?" he asked, feeling his slightly-scuffed face with dread. "Because I don't remember being afraid of mooses. Or is it meeses?"

"It's just moose," Chris said in annoyance. "And anyway, you were _another_ one who we had trouble finding a good match for. What is with you newbies and your privacy? Uggh, the original cast practically _handed_ me their deepest, darkest fears."

"In our defense," Shawn spoke up, "we didn't really know any better at the time."

"Whatever," the host said, crossing his arms behind his back as a small smile formed on his face.. "Point is, we _were_ able to find something that wanted to fight Justin. Or...trample him, I guess," he added as an uncertain aside. "Say hello!" he said happily, motioning over to the ring.

An oddly dramatic riff played over an angled shot of an entirely normal bull moose rising up from whatever holding chamber lied below the Chrisiseum. It snorted begrudgingly.

Noah, his boxing gloves now on, looked at it with a dry and humorless expression. "Yup, looks like a moose."

"Wait a minute," Justin said in sudden realization, drawing the camera back over to him. "That's the _ugly_ moose I met on Boney Island!"

The same dramatic riff played again as the moose's turned red and it bellowed in anger, turning towards the object of its ire with a swiftness that made Justin gasp.

Chris laughed. "Yeah, this is gonna be _fun_ ," he said.

The bell rang as the shot cut behind Noah, now standing in his corner of the ring facing the towering bull moose. It saw him out of the corner of its eye, snorted, and turned back around to face him.

"W-whoa there, big fella," Noah said, raising his hands defensively with barely-contained panic. "I'm not the one you're mad at, that's my shallower-than-a-kiddie-pool _teammate_." He pointed to the side and the moose turned its head, the shot cutting back to Justin as he flinched in terror again.

The moose snorted, and the camera moved behind Noah as he cautiously began to sidestep to the right. "Personally, I think you're a great looking moose. You've got some _real_ handsome antlers. So how about I just go over _here_ ," the shot cut back in front of him as he pointed further to his left, "and you can just go wild on him like the massive beast you are."

A sharp note played as the bull moose looked back at him with anger in its eyes. It snorted at him, and pawed the ground. "Whoa!" he said quickly, holding his hands back out in front of him. "Calm down! 'Massive beast' is a, uh, a _compliment_ where I come from!"

With a bellow and a burst of dramatic music the moose lowered its head and charged. The point-of-view shifted to its own as it stampeded towards Noah, the screaming slacker trapped in a corner of the ring. At the last second the terrified boy dropped out of sight, leaving the moose careening head-on towards the turnbuckle.

The camera cut away to the other Villains as they winced at the sound of the crash. The shot cut back to the ring, showing the moose swaying on its feet with stars in its eyes and a bump on its head, the turnbuckle and attached post looking noticeably bent. Noah, still wide-eyed with fear, quickly crawled between the moose's legs and managed to get himself out from under it just before it shuddered and collapsed onto the ground.

The bell rang. "And _Noah_ scores a point for the Villains!" Chris announced from the sidelines. "They might _actually_ have a chance to win this."

xxx

"Darn right," Noah told the outhouse camera. "Now that I've completely defied their expectations for me, I'm sure the others will show me some _respect_ for once."

xxx

"Great work, Noah!" Izzy greeted excitedly as the slacker walked back over to his teammates, his boxing gloves discarded. "That was totally awesome how you ducked like that!"

"Thanks," the slacker smirked. "I-"

Jasmine cut him off by putting a hand on his shoulder. "Though you're lucky you were able to get out of the way when and where you did. I think you woulda been a goner otherwise."

Noah's smirked faded a little. "Well-"

"Pfft, who _cares_ if it was a total fluke?" Scott interrupted. "A win's a win."'

"Easy for you to say," Justin objected. "We wouldn't have needed Noah's freaky display of all luck and no skill if _you_ hadn't sabotaged Izzy!"

"Wait, what?" Izzy asked, perking up and looking around in confusion. "Who sabotaged El Maléfico?"

"Nobody did," Scott told her sharply before wheeling on Justin. "And fat talk coming from _you_. If you had just stepped up and beaten that alligator like you were _supposed_ to then the nerd's _fluke_ would've just one us the challenge!"

Noah's happiness faded entirely as Jasmine stepped forward and separated the other two boys. "No fighting!" she commanded. "You two can argue about this later if we actually _lose_." The shot refocused on Noah as his gaze became dull and emotionless.

xxx

Noah sighed, long and annoyed and almost strangled.

xxx

"Alright!" Chris said as the scene moved back to him. "Heroes, who's next?"

"I'll go," Gwen and Courtney volunteered at the same time. They looked at one another, then giggled awkwardly. "No seriously, I'll go," they said at the same time again giggling awkwardly again once they'd realized what they'd done.

Chris gave them an unamused look. "Courtney. Spin," he commanded.

/

The footage flashed ahead to the ex-CIT approaching the Wheel of Misfortune. With a hesitant look back at her teammates she gave it a spin, the game show theme playing as the camera quickly cut to the top. It slowed to a stop quickly, and the ticker landed on the familiar gray silhouette of...

" _Gwen_?!" Courtney said in shock.

"Wait, seriously?!" Gwen chimed in from the sidelines, looking utterly shocked as well.

Chris laughed. " _Man_! I have been looking forward to this match all day. Uh," he said, catching his slip, "uh...I mean...how random?" he said with an impish smirk and shrug.

xxx

"Fight _Courtney_?!" Gwen told the confessional camera in disbelief. "Can I even _do_ that?"

xxx

"I don't think I can!" Courtney answered in the next confessional, visibly distressed.

xxx

The static cut away to show the two girls facing each other in the boxing ring, gloves already on their hands.

"I...I'm sorry, Chris," Courtney said from the right. "I don't know if I can do this."

"Me neither," Gwen chimed in from the left.

Chris scowled. "Yeah, I kinda figured this would happen," he said. "So, as a bit of extra incentive," he said, the camera pulling back to show Chef standing next to him with the large widescreen television cart.

"Uh, what's that for?" Gwen asked from off-screen.

The host smiled, pulled out his remote control, and pushed the button. A dramatic tune rose up as the television turned on and the shot cut in close to it, the footage taking up nearly the entire screen.

xxx

"...right," Courtney said dully, giving a quick and wary look around before pulling Izzy closer to the back of the lodge. "Look, I just want you to know that right now, Gwen and _Trent_ are easily the strongest duo in the game. We _all_ like them – me and Noah probably like Gwen better, while your team prefers _Trent_ , but it still means it's gonna be hard for someone _else_ to win the competition. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Izzy rubbed her chin in thought for a second, then nodded. "Oh yeah, I gotcha."

Courtney hesitantly smiled. "Well...good. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, so...I'll just be going now." As she spoke she cautiously backed away from the other girl, then turned around and hustled away once she reached the corner of the building.

xxx

"Happy memories, huh?" Chris said smugly from off-screen, the camera focused on Gwen's deep scowl.

"Yeah," she said bitterly. " _Happy_."

"H-hey, hold on now," Courtney stammered as the shot pulled back to show both girls. "I've already apologized for that! You saw the clip, it's not like I specifically _asked_ her to vote for you."

Gwen grit her teeth and growled in frustration. "You sure didn't tell her _not_ to!" she countered. "And you know what," she added, drawing back a fist as Courtney gaped in growing unease, "I changed my mind. I _can_ do this after all."

She drew back her left fist, stepped forward, and hammered Courtney with a grunt of rage. The ex-villainess hastily threw her arms up to block the hit, and Gwen said " _That's_ for trying to get me and Trent eliminated in the _first place_!"

"W-well," Courtney said as she weathered another blow. She dropped her fists, showing her look of newfound determination, and punched at her former friend. " _That's_ for not recognizing that I didn't think I had a choice!" The goth raised her arms to block the blow, still glaring angrily.

The shot cut to Lightning and Shawn watching from the sidelines. "Dang, this is gettin' sha- _heavy_ ," the jock commented.

"I'll say," Shawn replied. "I wonder what Jasmine's gonna try and tell me later," he added ponderously. Lightning gave him a sharp look, and he straightened. "Err, uh, right, I should focus on this."

He looked back towards the ring, and the camera cut over to show the two girls still trading punches, both sporting black eyes and a few scuffs. "I _know_ what I did was wrong," Courtney explained as a slow but tense tune played. She threw a punch, but it was weakly blocked. "I only did it because I was _scared_!"

" _Scared_?!" Gwen countered, throwing a punch and hitting Courtney in the face. "Do you even _understand_ how horrible it felt to have someone you thought of as a close friend throw you under the bus to save herself?"

"I wasn't _just_ scared of losing the competition," Courtney said, a hint of despair on her heavy breaths as she punched Gwen in the face. "I was scared of losing _you_. I...I was jealous of Trent," she admitted sadly, hanging her head and letting her arms droop. "I could see how close you two were getting, and I was afraid my friend – the person I had _changed_ myself for – was just gonna... _abandon_ me."

"Okay, times up," Chris said from off-camera in a bored tone, the bell ringing in the background.

"We're not... _done_...!" the two girls yelled tiredly.

Gwen punched her teammate in the face. "So what," she said, "you just decided to get rid of Trent and keep me for yourself?"

"Yeah," Courtney replied, punching back and then sagging in exhaustion. "I know it was selfish, and that I was a terrible friend. But ever since we got here I've been trying to prove to myself that I can try to win _and_ be a good friend at the same time. I've been trying to make up for what I did...but I can tell you're not gonna give me another chance. I mean, all day I've been worrying about who voted for me last night, but thinking about it it had to have been _you_ , right? You're the only person that actually makes _sense_."

"What?" Gwen said in surprise, drooping as well. "No, I voted for Izzy last night with the guys!"

"Really?" Courtney asked with hope in her voice. "So did I! But then...was _Izzy_ the one who voted for me?"

Both girls turned their heads to the foreground, and the shot cut over to the wild child in question. With two arms crossed behind her back and a mischievous grin on her face, she raised a third hand and waved her fingers at her former teammates.

Gwen and Courtney looked back at one another, and dropped to their knees. "I guess I just wasn't ready to get rid of you," the goth said. "Maybe it really _is_ time I gave you another chance."

"I'll take it," the ex-CIT replied. "And I promise I'm _never_ gonna let you get eliminated if I can help it. Friends?"

"Friends," Gwen repeated, and a touching tune played as they leaned forward and hugged each other.

The shot cut to Shawn and Lightning watching with soft smiles from the sidelines, the scruffy survivalist wiping a tear from his eye.

"Aww...," Izzy cooed as the focus cut to the Villains, Jasmine and even Noah smirking happily while Justin watched passively and Scott huffed in annoyance and looked away.

Chris sniffed, and even wiped away a tear of his own. "For putting a little warmth in my otherwise frozen heart," he said, "I'm giving you both _one_ point." The shot cut back to the Hero boys watching cautiously. "That makes it 3-2. Heroes _win_!" Shawn and Lightning raised their arms and cheered, with Gwen and Courtney joining in off-screen. The shot panned to the five Villains as they sagged and sighed in disappointment.

/

A flash took the scene ahead to dusk and back to the loser's cabin. The camera panned a little to the right and zoomed in slightly, cutting to Jasmine waiting at the base of a large tree. She looked around for a moment with a worried expression, then flinched in surprise when Shawn suddenly jumped out of a nearby bush, landing in a crouch and looking around warily.

"Alright, what did you wanna tell me?" he asked.

Jasmine sighed. "Look, I know you've been scared of me these past few days. It's because I knew some of the details of your jobs, right?"

"Those mission specs did _not_ get into the local newspapers," Shawn said accusingly. "You couldn't possibly have known about them if you were a normal person."

"Does...being in touch with _Sierra_ count as normal?" Jasmine asked with a sheepish smile.

Shawn face fell into stunned surprise. "Not really, no," he said. "But it _does_ explain where you got your intel, and in a much less terrifying way than what I was expecting."

"Sorry," Jasmine told him. "I just wanted to keep up with what you were doing without interfering. I should've explained so earlier."

"Yes, you should have," Shawn said with a decisive nod. "But," he opened his eyes and smiled, "let's try and put it behind us. Okay?"

He extended his hand, and she shook it. "Awesome," she said happily.

A very small explosion went off behind them, and a large net suddenly dropped over the two. "Uh, ignore this, would ya?" Shawn asked sheepishly. "I thought I might have...," he gulped, "... _capture_...you...heheh."

Jasmine just gave him a stunned look.

/

The scene skipped ahead again, this time moving to the usual long-distance shot of the island at night. The ceremonial theme began to play, and another flash transitioned the shot to the campfire pit where the five Villainous Vultures were already seated. A pan across them from right to left showed Scott and Justin glaring at one another, Izzy glaring at Scott, Noah dully irritated, and Jasmine looking back over her shoulder with a small smile.

"Okay," Chris said off-screen, causing Jasmine to look forward again before the shot cut to the host. "Before we send another player to the sewers," the four Heroic Hamsters were shown sitting in the Peanut Gallery, girls on the bottom and guys above, "I have a _wee_ announcement to make."

Courtney leaned over to her friend, and in a sing-song voice whispered "Here comes the mer~rge!" The camera panned up to Lightning, listening in with a brow raised.

xxx

"The merge, huh?" the jock pondered. "It's about time. Lightning's halfway through and ready to keep heroin' all the way to the endzone. Only question is, who's he gonna do it _with_?"

xxx

"Tonight," Chris said, a hollow sound playing, "the _winners_ get to choose which player is eliminated from the losers' team." The shot cut to the Villains as all five began to gasp. "Hold that gasp," Chris interrupted. "Aa~aand," he continued as a tense trill rose up in the background, "the _losers_ are the _choosers_ of which winner goes to Boney Island." The shot cut to the Heroes as they listened patiently. "And, the teams are NOT merging!" he finished, and the Heroes frowned.

"Now you may gasp," Chris said, and a few deep and dark notes played as the players gasped in a four-way angled splitscreen – Shawn and Lightning in the upper left; Gwen and Courtney in the upper right; Jasmine and Noah in the lower left; and Izzy, Scott, and Justin in the lower right.

"Aaaand, there it is," the host said with a satisfied smile. "Now. Heroes," a deep note played, "who's goin' home tonight?"

The shot cut to the Peanut Gallery as the four Hamsters leaned towards one another and began to discuss with hushed voices. Another deep note played, followed by a few more, and a few more as the whisperings finally came to a single conclusion and Gwen gave a soft and saddened "No, I'll do it.". A high trill, and the camera focused in on Gwen as she took a breath. "We've decided," she said. "To...eliminate..."

The music became even tenser as the shot moved from Scott and Justin, then to Izzy, then panned over to Jasmine and Noah. The eyes of all five Villains were wide with fear and anxiety as Gwen drew out the announcement. The focus finally returned to her and Courtney, the ex-CIT placing a hand on her friend's shoulder as she closed her eyes and said...

" _Noah_."

"WHAT?!" the slacker said in shock and horror, wheeling around to look at the Heroes and gaping in disbelief. "Why me when _they're_ around?" he said, motioning to Izzy, Scott, and Justin.

"I'm really sorry, Noah," Gwen said.

"Don't blame her," Courtney interjected, "blame the rest of us. We took a vote, and decided that after how well you did last season we couldn't keep you around and risk letting you take control of the game again."

"Yeah," Lightning said, the camera panning up to him and Shawn. "Sorry dude, but you're just too smart."

"Plus you beat that moose today," Shawn added. "Any scrawny-looking guy that can survive one of _those_ is worth taking seriously." The camera pulled back a ways as the other Heroes nodded and murmured in general agreement.

A flat note played as the shot cut back to Noah, his jaw slack and his eye twitching.

"Cool," Chris said as the focus returned to him. "Now, before Noah takes the Flush of Shame," he said as a high but plodding tune began, "which Hero is going to exile on Boney Island. Villains?"

"Lightning!" the four remaining Villains declared without missing a beat, pointing towards the Peanut Gallery while Noah continued to twitch.

A quick-pan to the jock in question showed him pursing his lips in annoyance.

xxx

"Dude's pretty physical," Justin explained in the outhouse, "we gotta wear him down. Not like he can get the idol, either," he added with a chuckle, pulling the idol out of his shirt.. "Speaking of, with Noah going home instead of Scott I might just need this _sooner_ rather than _later_."

xxx

The somber farewell theme began to play as the scene moved to the dock. "Underestimated by my own team, public enemy number one to everyone else," Noah said dryly as he floated in the massive toilet's bowl. "I don't know if this is ironic, or just tragic."

"Sorry again!" Gwen said, the shot cutting to show her and the rest of the remaining campers standing further up the dock.

"Hold your bree~aath!" Chris commanded, holding up an umbrella with one hand and his remote with the other.

He pressed the button, and Noah was flushed with a yell of "Don't forget the idollllll!"

The backsplash of his flush shot high into the sky, crashing uselessly over Chris' umbrella but drenching the remaining eight contestants.

"Thrilling grudge matches! Former competitors! Surprising twists!" Chris told the camera as the capstone theme began to play, closing his umbrella and tossing it away. "Can we top it? You better believe we can! Next time, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene opened on a river running through a dense jungle as Noah suddenly surfaced and gasped for air. He spent a few seconds looking around, then said "Okay...this is unexpected...but at least I'm only _eliminated_ and not _dead_."

He immediately noticed bubbles forming around him, and swam away from them in fear just as a swarm of small, angry fish with sharp-looking teeth jumped into the air. "Piranhas? Oh, why must I keep tempting fate!" He screamed and swam at full speed to the left, the swarm of fish giving chase along the surface. Neither seemed to notice the sound of an approaching motor.

"C'mon, don't you have anything _else_ to go devour?" he called out, looking back at the fish chasing him.

"Quick! Grab on!" came a sudden and gruff voice, and Noah looked back to see a white-skinned hand in a yellow long-sleeved shirt reaching out to him from what looked to be a large pink speedboat. Noah took it without a second thought, and was pulled on board.

The shot pulled back from Noah's soaked and coughing body as he looked up and saw his savior: Sam, former host of the Total Drama Aftermath show and gamer extraordinaire. "You okay man?" he asked.

"I just got eliminated from a million-dollar competition, got flushed down a giant toilet, woke up who knows where, and got chased by a pack of man-eating _guppies_ ," Noah answered scathingly. "What do _you_ think?"

"Huhuh," Sam chuckled awkwardly, "I guess it _was_ a pretty obvious answer. And to answer your question, we're in the Amazon rain forest." The shot briefly cut outward to show a large stretch of dense jungle.

"I'll just add 'why did that toilet dump me in a river far from civilization and on a different continent' onto the pile of questions I have then," Noah said as the gamer helped him back to his feet. "For my next question, mind explaining why your _girlfriend_ is filming us?"

The camera finally pulled back enough to show the rest of the boat, revealing Dakota Milton standing at the stern with a video camera in her hand. "Hi Noah!" she greeted. "How does it _feel_ being picked up by us?"

"Wet and confusing," Noah answered.

Sam chuckled again. "Sorry, man. Just wanted to do some live action stuff for my gaming channel, you know? Figured the fans might like to see a video of me and Dakota's epic jungle rescue mission. It'll be a real treat."

"Lucky them," Noah said.

"Ooh! Sam!" Dakota said excitedly. "Don't forget to ask him to join your gaming group!"

"Oh, right, thanks for reminding me," Sam replied before turning back to their guest. "So, Noah, I was wondering if you'd-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, I heard your girl," Noah interrupted. "Let me guess, it's a group of video game let's players united under a single brand."

"Pretty much," Sam shrugged. "I figured as a fellow gamer you might be interested."

Noah just stared at him. "Seeing how I _just_ got eliminated, I'm not _exactly_ ready for another commitment."

Sam chuckled more awkwardly. "Right, man, sorry. Maybe you'll feel better after we get back to the Total Drama Former Competitor's Mobile HQ," he said. "I managed to get a decent game room set up in it so I could keep up with my channel. It's only temporary, but it's been a good place to relax so far."

"Meh," Noah said as Sam sped the boat away. "Anything's better than staying out _here_."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there we have it, like so many of you predicted the final merge boot was Noah. He had a good run both last season and this, but ultimately fell due to irony (I think) - he's complained all season that his teammates don't really take him seriously, and when the choice of who goes home is taken out of their hands the Heroes see him for the threat he is. Oh, and the last time this twist was used he was also picked to go home, only for him to idol out Gwen. And who is the one to deliver the bad news to him this time?

At least Noah did accomplish something before he left, though...

Anyway, now we have our Final Eight, the people that will be going to the merge. For half of them, it'll be their first time there. For the others, it'll be another chance to prove themselves in the later half of the game. Either way, I think everyone has something to prove.

For the fights in today's challenge, some came easier than others. Fang vs Izzy and Gwen vs Courtney were the easiest ones by far, having been planned since basically the beginning. Same with Bear vs Shawn actually, I think. Larry vs Jasmine wasn't too hard to come up with, since there's not much else that could give her a challenge, but surprisingly Jo vs Lightning wasn't something I had decided upon in advance of the chapter like some of the others. But once I thought it up, I knew it had to be done. The alligator was done pretty much because of the finale last season, and the moose...well, I was stuck, okay? I needed _something_ for Justin's opponent, so I came up with the moose bit and added it to the pick-up scene. Oh, and the unused space was for Scott's fear of clowns, which obviously never came up, just like the bear that was on the canon wheel (presumably for Zoey) also never came up.

I will admit that the fights I came up with made it less like 'Phobia Factor' than in canon, but to be fair there' not much that actually scares these kids and still makes a feasible boxing opponent.

Well, I hope you enjoyed everything! It was pretty fun to write, though I gotta say in many ways next week's episode has been even funner. Probably because of no Mike subplot taking up screentime.

But yeah, let me know what you all thought, and I'll see you next week!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)


	8. Chapter 8 - You Regatta Be Kidding Me

**Author's Note**

Here we are, dear readers, the merge! This episode will wrap up the mid-game part of the season and set the stage for the final stretch. I hope you're ready, because things are gonna be getting...interesting.

But first, it's time to answer some reviews.

 **Animation Adventures:** I'm glad you liked Noah's elimination then, as well as my last-minute choice for Justin's intended opponent. And believe me, I'm pretty damn glad to finally have Scott and Fang interact, it's been a long time coming and even though it was risky for Scott I still think it was a fairly reasonable choice for him to make. Still, he's probably in the worst position for the merge right now, though that would have been the same regardless. Safe to say he's gonna have to do some work to make sure he's safe.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Hah, yeah, Noah being the final pre-merge boot does kinda suck. But, sadly, it was his time to go. I'm glad you like my portrayal of Courtney, though if the way she and Gwen mended their relationship was interesting it's not something I can take credit for as it was a modification of their subplot from canon. I...don't think I'm gonna go down the same route canon took with them from here on out, though. There will be some similarities, but it won't just be a rehash of canon events.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Yeah, I guess you were. I'm glad you enjoyed the circumstances behind it, I think it was a great way to end Noah's arc this season. And yeah, kinda hard to believe the idol was always so underused in canon, as there's a lot that can be done with it. Interesting predictions for this week's challenge, and I look forward to seeing your reaction to what I decided to go with.

 **bruno14:** Great to hear! Haha, and yeah Shawn's repeated bear encounters was never something I'd ever planned for going in to the Shuffled series, but after I realized it had sort of become a thing I'm glad I decided to run with it. Anyway, I'm happy you enjoyed Jasmine last week, and I hope you like what happens next.

 **I. M. Poik:** Well, in a manner of speaking your breakdown is correct, although there's actually only three original villains left at this point. I don't think I'm gonna have 'Sundae Muddy Sundae' go down the same as canon, that's for sure. And while I wouldn't quite call Scott and Fang allies, they're certainly not the same as they were in canon, either. Other than that...well, like I've been saying, things are gonna be getting more and more interesting from here on out. At least, I hope they will for you and everyone else.

 **ashDanLand:** Thanks! I do enjoy shocking my readers with the eliminations, especially since I think a bunch of them have been pretty predictable lately. And...yeah, I suppose he was 'evil' in a way, though not in the same sense as the other Villains. Noah proved last season that he's resourceful, sly, and not always trustworthy - it's pretty obvious why people would see him as a threat. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens next!

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Ahaha, well if it's any consolation I don't recall any of the other reviewers mentioning the twist either. But still, Noah was a pretty safe bet regardless. Though given the events of the chapter, had the Villains been allowed to vote themselves it would have come down to Scott versus Justin or possibly Izzy, depending on who Scott thought he could get Noah and Jasmine to vote for. Regarding the bonus scenes, picking Sam and Dakota for Noah was something I decided on pretty early (after the more obvious ones, of course). For a while I was thinking that their let's play group was gonna already be an established thing, but I ended up deciding against it at the last minute.  
I'm really happy you enjoyed all the interactions last week, especially with the Villains. To be perfectly honest, having Izzy cause Scott and Fang to work together was a major reason why I even wanted her in the season. Regarding the fights, Shawn versus a zombie would be difficult because zombies don't actually exist, and because him versus a fake zombie was already done pretty well way back in season one when he beat up a bunch of interns.  
Going forward...well, there's a heck of a lot that's gonna go down, I think, and that means a lot to look forward to for all of us.

 **moka evans:** Hah, I suppose so. But hey, like you said, there's still plenty of people you like left in the game. Even though Justin is still in the game, I hope you enjoy the show.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! And while there are some circumstances that Jo could beat Lightning in a straight-up fight...a season where he is developing into a Hero and trying to prove his status as a contender while she's not even competing is not one of them. In the end, I think this was for the better.

 **TotalDramaTotality:** A common sentiment, Noah was fairly well-liked. And yeah, looks like most of the cast is in relatively decent shape, either socially or strategically. It'll make for an interesting merge.

 **Glowing Insanity:** I'm glad you liked it! Scott and Fang's team-up was something I've been looking forward to for a while, so I'm happy it's gone over well with my readers. Likewise, I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen and Courtney's reconciliation. And yeah, I guess Noah's plans never really did come to fruition, but that's not to say he didn't make some kind of mark on the competition.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Interesting observations and analysis. Regarding Shawn, I seem to have forgotten a 'to'. Basically, Shawn was nervously trying to explain that he was still wary of Jasmine and thought he might need to capture her to save himself.

 **FOWLKON:** Well, you aren't the only reviewer who did so. But just like in canon, the elimination made sense for pretty much the exact reasons you said. I'm glad you enjoyed Lightning's bout with Jo, as well as some of the others making up. As for the bonus scenes...well, all I can say is that you'll find out eventually.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Thanks, I hope you like what comes next!

 **Guest:** Hmm, good question. Who knows?

 **DSX62415:** Okay then, I'm glad I could make your anniversary so enjoyable! here's to another happy year.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Yeah, sometimes you just gotta follow canon's lead for things like this. I mean, it was pretty easy to predict that Gwen and Courtney would end up duking it out seeing how they've been developing this season. And as for how much of Scott's good run has been due to chance...well, I think chance is a valid element of games like this, and being able to account for it - and even capitalize on it - are useful skills to have. Though I don't think Chris has a bias towards Scott, I certainly haven't been writing him as such.

 **VIPGuest:** Well, he hadn't finished his plot until last week. He'd been bemoaning the disrespect he'd been getting from some of the others, and when he finally gets some it's in the form of an elimination. Not all plots have to end happily. And yeah, what's going on with the former players picking up the current ones will be revealed in due time.

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, sometimes Jo losing in a straight-up fight is the better choice to go with. Honestly, I'm pretty happy with how all the fights turned out, even the hard-to-plan ones. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens next.

 **OMAC001:** Thanks. Working with what I have is practically the basis for the entire Shuffled series.

 **link9753:** Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. And maybe it's a testament to Noah's abilities that he's been the target of that elimination method twice in a row? Regarding the former finalist/final three members getting the boot first...well, I mean, everyone from the first generation cast on this season except Scott fits that description and they've been hit the hardest by the eliminations. Though I won't deny intentionally keeping the former pre-mergers around longer to give them more screentime and development. As for what's coming up in the future...well, interesting ideas for some of it, but only time will tell how things pan out.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Great to hear it! Especially because you loved seeing Scott and Fang team up. Regarding Shawn's fight, since he'd already destroyed a bunch of interns dressed as zombies back in season one I didn't really want to invoke the zombie thing again, especially because it would be a lot harder to justify him losing to something he's spent his whole life training to defeat. The bear was also funnier. Honestly, though, the fights were generally a blast to come up with so I'm glad you liked them so much.  
As for what you pointed out about Courtney fearing Gwen had voted for her...yeah, that's a slip-up on my part. I guess I'll just attribute it to Courtney being a little bit paranoid because Gwen wasn't warming up to her. As for Chris being so insistent on presenting the challenge as random...well, maybe to make it more of a surprise to the cast? I don't know.  
As for the future...well, you'll see soon enough. Oh, and I'm not a man.

 **BuckJohnson:** Hmm...well, I can't answer much but I hope the next few episodes give you a better idea of what I'm trying to do.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Haha, well, eventful is probably gonna be the name of the game from here on out. I'm sure Noah will be fine after his elimination, after a bit of time at least. For those remaining peace is reigning, like you said. But also like you said, there are a few elements that'll want to disrupt that - which is good, because an endgame where everyone likes each other is not something I really want to write right now. I'm glad you enjoyed the Jo vs Lightning fight, it was fun to write and I'm glad I've gotten both of their characters to a point where it was possible.

And that's that! As I'm sure you all know, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

The teams are currently as follows, but they aren't gonna last:

Heroic Hamsters: Gwen, Lightning, Shawn, Courtney

Villainous Vultures: Justin, Scott, Jasmine, Izzy

The merge is looming, dear readers, and I hope you're looking forward to all the surprises it has in store.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 8 – You Regatta Be Kidding Me**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened, the montage beginning with a clip of the Wheel of Misfortune spinning. "A brutal teens-versus-mutants fisticuffs free-for-all proved beyond doubt," the host said as Larry was shown rising up into the boxing arena then doing battle with Jasmine, "that these guys will do _anything_ for a million bucks." Izzy was shown getting beaten up by Fang, and Justin was thrown out of the ring by a giant angry mutant alligator. "Even newly refriended Courtney and Gwen had to battle it out!" he added jovially, the montage flashing to the two girls sharing an awkward laugh and then having an anguished punch-out in the ring. Chris laughed.

"The Heroes ruled victorious," he continued over a shot of Shawn and Lightning cheering. "But, in a last-minute twist," all nine campers were shown gasping in a four-way splitscreen, then the Heroes were shown whispering amongst themselves, "the Heroes got to send a loser Villain home, and the _Villains_ got to send a winner Hero to exile." Izzy, Scott, and Justin were showing glaring at one another; then the recap cut to Lightning raising a brow in confusion. "So, it was see ya tomorrow Lightning," the non-eliminated Vultures pointed as one to the annoyed uber-jock, "and see ya _never_ Noah." A clip of the slacker shouting out one last vague warning as he was flushed ended the montage.

"Eight players remain," Chris said in-person, his back to the clear blue sky. "And _none_ of them are ready for how everything is about to change. Right here! Right now!" The first cut outward revealed the host to be standing on top of the Flush of Shame. "On Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene opened on the spa hotel, the logo of the Heroic Hamsters appearing in the corner of the screen as Gwen yawned. A cut inside showed her sitting up in her bed and rubbing her eye, a delighted smile on her face as an airy, almost angelic melody began in the background. "I just dreamt I was riding a fluffy unicorn across clouds made of marshmallows," she sighed happily, hugging her knees.

"Yeah, they're soft beds alright," Courtney said, walking over and taking a seat at the end of her friend's bed. "I can't believe I've only gotten to sleep in them _twice_ so far."

"Hopefully, we'll _both_ get to spend even more nights here," Gwen told her.

"I hope we make it to the finale _together_ ," Courtney said. "And with nobody else to get between us, I think we really have a chance!"

"Totally," Gwen replied. "I love Trent and all, but I _am_ kinda glad he's not here to make this more complicated for me. Right now, I wanna put friends first."

Courtney nodded. "Me too."

"If I don't win the million bucks, I hope you do," the girls told each other.

xxx

"And I mean it, too!" they said together in a split-screen confessional, Courtney on the left and Gwen on the right, both girls now dressed.

xxx

A few deeper notes transitioned the background score into something soft yet natural as the scene moved to Shawn resting on the branch of a tall tree. He yawned and stretched his arms, then untied the rope binding his leg to the tree. He grabbed the trunk and shimmied down it, pausing at the next branch below his – it was thicker than the one he'd slept on, but had a rope tied to it as well. "Huh, guess Jasmine's already awake," he commented.

The camera quick-panned down to the ground, showing Jasmine picking berries from a bush and stowing them in a small canvas pouch. She looked up as Shawn jumped down, and smiled. "G'morning, Shawn," she greeted.

"Morning, Jasmine," the scruffy young man said, his eyes darting around in suspicion. "Any zombies around?"

"Not as far as I've seen," the tall young woman said, resuming her foraging. "I think Izzy's running around, though, so keep an eye out for her.

Shawn nodded and walked over. "Right, thanks for the intel. That girl's so unpredictable she's practically the biggest liability out here. Good to see the blackberries are ripe, though," he added, the shot zooming in as he looked over the thorny bush and picked one of the plump black fruits. "I hope you don't mind me having some before I go have breakfast with my teammates."

"Help yourself, mate, there's plenty more where that came from," Jasmine told him offhandedly. "And honestly, as much as I don't like Izzy I need all the help I can get now that Noah's gone."

"Oh, heheh, sorry about that," Shawn said sheepishly. "Again."

Jasmine gave him a soft smile. "Don't worry about it. You all did what you thought you had to."

xxx

"Okay, that was kinda close," Shawn admitted nervously. "I'm pretty lucky she doesn't _hate_ me for thinking she was part of some secret organization that was out to get me, and I don't wanna mess up again. I'm still a _little_ bit nervous around her," he added, holding up his hand with his index finger and thumb mere centimeters apart, "I guess the paranoia is hard to shake," he looked down with a flash of shame, "but I'm doing my best to move past it."

xxx

"I've _just_ gotten back in Shawn's good books," Jasmine told the outhouse camera. "I'm not gonna jeopardize it by getting mad at him for voting out my biggest ally on the Villains team. Besides," she said with a short wave of her hand, "I'm pretty sure Scott and Justin hate each other now, so it'll probably be easy to use that to my advantage if I need to."

xxx

"Uggh, with Noah gone the Heroes are practically taking over the _team_!" Scott griped in the next confessional. "Jasmine and Izzy are both monsters in their own way, and it's not like I can count on _Justin_ to help me out." He crossed his arms and looked away. "If I was back home right now, I'd be barricading myself in the cellar with enough potatoes and toilet paper to last til the next millennium!"

xxx

"Okay, correct me if I'm wrong," Justin told the confessional camera, "but even with Noah gone I think I'm in a good position. I have the idol, I can probably charm Izzy into an alliance, and Scott's pretty much universally hated. If things keep going how they are, I'd say I'm in pretty good shape. Well," he chuckled, "I'm _always_ in good shape. But now it's true for the _game_ , too."

xxx

An ominous tune played as the scene moved to the losers' cabin, the camera zooming in on Scott eating a bowl of gruel on the porch. He looked behind him as the right-hand door opened up, and grimaced as Justin strutted out.

"It's about _time_ you showed up," Scott sneered. "What, did you break a nail fixing your make-up and have to redo everything?" He spit on the ground.

Justin sniffed haughtily. "For your information I was making sure yesterday's challenge didn't do any lasting damage to my face. Not like _you'd_ understand what it feels like to risk something of actual _value_."

Scott snorted. "Oh please. Your looks are about as _valuable_ as my sister Albertha's horseshoe collection."

"Oh yeah?" the model retorted, clearly offended. "Well...well...at least I'll still have a future after the show!"

"Yeah," the farmer scoffed, getting to his feet and walking away, "until you get _old_."

Justin's eyes widened in panic, and he whipped out a hand mirror. "Okay, Justin, nothing to worry about," he told himself as he walked down the steps looking at his own reflection. "You won't be getting old for another ten years or so."

As he left the camera zoomed in on the doorway he'd come out of, and moments later Izzy darted up next to it, a spy-movie tune starting to play as she pressed herself flush against the wall. She looked cautiously to the left and right, then zipped inside the open door. The scene followed her inside with a flash, and she rolled into the middle of the room and came back up with two arms out and ready as she looked around again.

She rolled up to one of the lower bunks and felt under the pillow, quickly pulling out a hand mirror. She then backflipped away, and the shot cut to her landing next to the lower bunk on the opposite side of the room. She felt under that pillow, pulled out a hunk of wood whittled into the shape of Scott's head, then stuffed the mirror in its place. She rolled back to the first bed, put the carving under its pillow, then stood up. The viewpoint moved to the side as she looked around for a moment, then threw open the nearby window and jumped out as the spy movie theme finally reached its dramatic peak.

xxx

"Okay, so after Scott _totally_ messed with my fight with Fang," Izzy explained in the confessional with an almost mockery of darkness on her face, "I thought it was time to get my revenge. No more will I just be _playing_ with him, oh no," she shook her head. "From now on, El Maléfico is going to make his life _miserable_ , oh yeah," she nodded repeatedly. "It's _time_ for some _chaos_ , woo hoo!" she said, raising her arms into the air and cheering...then losing her balance and falling in to the outhouse toilet.

"Aaagh! Let go of me!" she yelled, sprouting and extra pair of arms to help push herself free.

xxx

"Attention campers!" Chris announced over the camp loudspeaker. "Please gather out front for today's special torture!"

The shot cut to the front of the spa hotel, the campers now gathered together in their teams and standing around impatiently. They looked to the side as Lightning arrived with Chef right behind him.

"Have no fear, the Lightning is _back_ ," the jock said as he rejoined his teammates.

Shawn immediately darted over to him and grabbed his arm, holding it up and looking over it closely. "How'd it go? Nothing _bit_ you, did it?"

Lightning frowned and yanked his arm away. "Dude please, of _course_ nothing bit Lightning. Not like anything could even _keep up_ with him on that Boney Island."

"Sounds like it went pretty well, then," Gwen said.

"As well as a night on a deserted island filled with dangerous wild animals _can_ go, anyway," Courtney added.

"Sha-darn right it did!" Lightning boasted proudly. He held up an arm and flexed, then said "See? Not a scratch. _And_ Lightning didn't waste time eatin' no Boney Island _fish_ either."

The two girls giggled and Shawn nodded seriously. "Good. A healthy diet is an important part of living in the wild."

"So, uh," Courtney spoke up, "any luck finding that invincibility statue?"

Lightning looked at her blankly, then palmed his face. "Aww man, Lightning totally forgot to look! Oh well," he shrugged, "he didn't wanna go back to the Fun Zone anyways."

The camera panned slightly to the right to show Chris walking up with his signature red megaphone. He reached out and grabbed Lightning's shoulder, spun the boy around, raised his megaphone, and yelled "ENOUGH WITH THE CHIT-CHAT, LIGHTNING!" loud enough to shake the screen.

" _I_ have a big announcement!" he told the camera and cast in his normal voice. The shot cut outward to show him standing between the Heroes on the left and the Villains on the right, both teams facing him expectantly. "Today, the teams are being _merged_!" he said giddily as a high and hollow sound played. The campers gasped. "That's ri~ight! From now on, challenges are for 'individual winners' only, and, _everyone_ is at risk of getting the not-so-royal flush." The two teams were shown more directly, first the Villains and then the Heroes, sharing nervous looks as a deep and ominous chanting played in the background.

The ringing of a cellphone caught Chris' attention, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I have to take this," he told the cast after looking at it, "it's my stylist." A beep signaled his acceptance of the call, and he put the phone to his ear and yelled "Yeah! How come my socks don't match my shirts?"

"Alright," Jasmine smirked happily, raising her hat slightly as the shot cut to her walking over to Shawn. "What do ya say then, stick together?" she asked him, sticking out a hand.

"Totally," he replied with a smirk of his own, shaking her hand curtly. "Maybe this time I'll actually be able to _keep_ the prize money if I win."

xxx

"Way back in season one," Shawn explained, "I somehow managed to win the whole thing. Then I got _greedy_ and gambled the hundred grand worth of prize money on a shot at a full million. I lost," he said with a hint of embarrassment, "aaand then lost both of the next two seasons. Safe to say I've regretted _that_ decision ever since. Sure, I've saved up enough money since then that I don't need _all_ of this season's million bucks to fund my zombie-proof apocalypse bunker, but this time I am not. Taking. Chances." He nodded and wagged his finger with each word.

"With an ally like Jasmine, I think I have a good shot at making it all the way to the end again,' he continued with a smile. "I figure between her, the girls, and Lightning, we should be able to take out Scott, Justin, and Izzy one-two-three. After that," he cringed slightly and rubbed the back of his head, "it'll be hard, but we'll probably have to get Lightning on our side long enough to vote out Gwen and Courtney. Then hopefully we can beat him in the final three challenge, and it'll be me and Jasmine in the finale together."

He finished his confessional with a dreamy sigh.

xxx

Jasmine opened her confessional with a dreamy sigh. "At the merge again, and my number-one ally is _Shawn_?" she told the camera with barely-contained excitement. "Pinch me, I must be _dreaming_. With a little bit of luck and a whole lot of effort, I think we can make it to the end together. Then, either _he_ wins and accomplishes _his_ dream, or _I_ win and get the money to fulfill mine. It's practically a win-win, especially if-" She stopped in mid-sentence, blushed, and quickly coughed to clear her throat. "Err, never mind. I don't wanna get ahead of myself."

"Anyway, the main problem right now is the idol," she continued with a hint of worry in her frown. "When Noah left last night he said not to forget about it, and I haven't, but it worries me a little that even _he_ was never able to figure out who had it. The problem is, it could be any of us since we were all in the Fun Zone. I guess technically Justin and Lightning would have to have it if none of us found it two days ago, but what are the chances of _that_ happening?"

xxx

/

"So, uh, what do you think Chris is gonna put us through today?" Shawn asked Jasmine as the static cut away.

"Hard to say," the taller survivalist mused, a finger on her chin in thought.

The camera panned away to the left, showing Lightning watching them with a thoughtful expression. He looked further to the left, and the shot moved to show Gwen and Courtney giggling at each other. A short string of deeper notes played as the focus returned to Lightning, who scratched his head.

xxx

"Okay, think, Lightning!" the jock said, tapping the side of his head. "You gotta get an ally, and you gotta make the right choice. Goth girl and bossy girl are pretty tight now," he said, raising his left hand and looking at it, "but you've done some good work with 'em before. On the other hand," he raised his right and looked at it, "Shawn's kind of a bro, and bros gotta stick together. Plus he's got really tall girl, and although she disrespected the Lightning early on she apologized for it. So he's gonna move _past_ that, and recognize that she's got a lot of strengths. So maybe those two should be Lightning's allies?"

He pursed his lips and crossed his arms in annoyance. "Man, why is this so hard? Lightning kinda likes all of 'em! He doesn't wanna have to choose!" he threw up his arms in frustration, then paused at the end of his sentence. He blinked, then lowered his arms back into a contemplative position. "Huh, Lightning wonders if this is more of that _hero_ business..."

xxx

/

The footage resumed on Courtney and Gwen. "Okay, but seriously," the ex-CIT said, "this is perfect for us. Friends to the end!" she said.

"Friends to the end!" Gwen repeated, and the two high-fived.

A few deep, dark notes played as the shot panned leftward on to Scott, watching the girls with a deep scowl on his face.

xxx

"Great. Juuuust _great_ ," Scott bitterly confessed. "I finally get a chance to work with _Courtney_ again, only she's got her little _gal pal_ with her. And I _saw_ what happened yesterday," he said angrily, "there's no way I'm gonna be able to break them up that easily. But you know what?" he crossed his arms decisively. "I'm _still_ gonna try and get close to her. Sure, I'll have to compete with _Gwen_ , but once I pull out my _moves_ ," he waggled his eyebrows in what was almost a seductive manner, "Courtney will be all over me in _no time_."

He held his smirk for a few seconds, then let out his breath. "Oh, and you know what?" he said, closing his eyes and looking down. "I FINALLY MADE THE _MERGE_!" He finished his confessional by whooping and hollering in sheer joy.

xxx

/

Another round of deeper notes punctuated the transition back to the common area, the camera focusing on Izzy as she crossed two pairs of arms and muttered to herself.

"Hey, Izzy," Justin said suddenly, eliciting a startled cry from the wild child and a sharp note from the background music as he walked over. The model was taken aback for a moment, but quickly regained his cool. "So, hey, I was thinking the two of _us_ could work together," he told her. The camera zoomed in on his face as he winked at her, gave her a gleaming smile, and waggled his well-sculpted brows. "Eh? What do you say?"

"Good idea...," Izzy replied, the shot cutting to her staring at him dreamily.

xxx

"And the first part of Operation 'Incredibly Gorgeous Winner' is a go," Justin coolly told the outhouse camera. "Get it?" he asked. " _I'm_ the incredibly gorgeous winner."

xxx

"Justin may be really really _really_ hot," Izzy confessed, "and he _might_ be useful for getting rid of Scott, but El Maléfico will _not_ spare him from her reign of chaos. Or maybe she will," she shrugged sweetly. "I haven't decided yet."

xxx

"Mm-hm. Yeah." Chris' words were curt as the scene returned to Lightning, Shawn, Jasmine, and Izzy, the four looking to the side as the host returned. "Guy thinks _I'm_ colorblind," he complained, flipping his phone shut as he walked past in the foreground. " _As if_! Aaaaanywho..."

The shot cut to him in a boat captain's hat, standing in front of the widescreen television which was currently displaying an aerial photo of the island. "This week's challenge is a _regatta_ around the island!" he announced.

"A sha- _what_ -ta?" Lightning asked in confusion.

"A _regatta_ ," Chris answered, "it's a boat race?"

"Then just call it a boat race!" the jock exclaimed.

"That wouldn't be _classy_ , helloooo!" the host countered.

The camera focused in on the display of the island as Chris walked away, showing the dotted line surrounding it. One by one small blue icons bearing each of the campers' faces appeared on the line near the dock – first Courtney, the Gwen, Scott, Justin, Izzy, Jasmine, Shawn, and lastly Lightning - and took off along it, speeding counterclockwise around the island. "First person to successfully circumnavigate the entire island wins immunity," Chris explained, the icons finally reaching the dock again as he finished. "And, a night at the spa hotel. Don't worry," he added as he walked back in front of the screen, "Chef will keep things interesting by providing some...'obstacles' for you..."

As he laughed, the two groups of campers gasped and exchanged nervous looks – first Justin, Scott, Courtney, and Gwen; then Lightning, Shawn, Jasmine, and Izzy.

"Some of the boats are seaworthy," Chris continued as the map of the island was replaced by an image of several watercraft floating on the water – three speedboats in various colors, styles, and states of disrepair; an inflatable raft; a wooden rowboat; a wooden raft; and even the Boat of Losers. "Some," the host added over a tense musical trill, walking away as the inflatable raft and one of the speedboats fell into the water, "are sink-arific. And! They're all first come, first serve. Starting...NOW!" He popped back up into view, and gave the starting signal through his megaphone.

The campers cheered and hollered and a slow but tense challenge theme began to play. "C'mon, Gwen, let's go!" Courtney said excitedly as she and her friend raced ahead.

Lightning soon ran up behind them. "Yo, girls! How about Lightning sha-joins that alliance of yours? Safety in numbers, and all that."

Gwen and Courtney looked at one another. "Sorry, Lightning," the goth said, "but we're kinda just doing us _two_ right now."

"Don't take it the wrong way, it's not like we don't _like_ you or anything," Courtney added, "we're just not looking to formally expand our alliance."

"Aww, really?" Lightning said, frowning in disappointment.

"Hey, we're fine working with you," Gwen said with a light shrug, "just no long-term promises."

xxx

"Dang, there goes that plan," Lightning told the outhouse camera, crossing his arms with a light scowl on his face. "Oh well," he shrugged halfheartedly, "maybe they'll change their minds once they realize Lightning is the man to beat. He's gonna have to talk to Shawn and tall girl later, though. And in the meantime, he's just gotta go for the _win_."

xxx

The static cut away to show Lightning charging ahead of the girls. "Well in that case," he told them with a confident smirk, "y'all won't mind if Lightning goes on ahead. Sha- _zoom_!" To Gwen and Courtney's surprise he sped up even more, and the scene cut to him reaching the Dock of Shame.

"And _Lightning_ takes the _lead_!" Chris announced from off-screen as the uber-jock hopped into the red-bottomed speedboat closest to the camera and drove off.

The two girls arrived seconds later, hopping in to the purple-bottomed speedboat that had been behind Lightning's. "Yes!" Courtney cheered, her friend whooping alongside her as the ex-CIT took the wheel.

"And Courtney and Gwen team up by _choice_ ," Chris added, hovering into view with his jetpack as the girls departed. "Despite the whole 'only one person wins' thing. _In_ -teresting."

A sharp note opened for a hectic and dangerous tune as Izzy was shown in close-up jumping in to the next powerboat, an old-looking one in a faded red color. With an evil cackle she pummeled the dashboard with a flurry of multi-armed punches until it started to spark with electricity, then leaped to the next craft in line – the wooden rowboat. She bent down and picked up and anchor of all things, then slammed it back down like a pickaxe destroying part of the boat. As it began to sink she jumped to the inflatable raft, and immediately sprung back off it with enough force to plunge the raft under the lake's surface. She landed in the back of the Boat of Losers, scurried into the cabin with another cackle, and drove off as the other four campers ran up to the end of the dock.

"Aww, Izzy, come on!" Justin groaned.

"Pfft, whatever," Scott snorted. "Dibs on the powerboat!" he said dashing back down the dock.

Shawn and Jasmine looked at one another. "Guess we get the raft," Shawn said.

"Fine with me," Jasmine replied, and the two jumped on to the wooden raft tethered the very end of the dock.

The shot cut back to Justin as he looked back and forth nervously. "Hold on, what about me?"

"Not my problem, pretty boy!" Scott smirked as he tried to start his chosen vessel. As soon as he touched the throttle, however, he was electrocuted, and the boat began to sink.

"Wow, glad I didn't take that one," Justin said, turning his head back towards the right and jumping down onto Shawn and Jasmine's raft.

"Hey, who said you could come with us?" Jasmine asked angrily, the two survivalists having untied their raft and grabbed a pair of long poles to paddle with.

"Well what was I _supposed_ to do?" Justin replied.

"Whatever, man, just get paddling," Shawn told him, walking past to the front of the raft and using his pole to propel the craft forward. Jasmine quickly followed suit from further back, and even Justin crouched down to paddle with his hands.

The camera cut back to Scott as he surfaced with a splutter. "Hold on, what about _me_?" he called out angrily.

"Not my problem!" Justin replied from off-screen.

Scott scowled, then gasped as the inflatable raft finally floated back up to the surface nearby, apparently in-tact.

/

A flash put the focus back on Shawn, Jasmine, and Justin as the challenge music ramped up. The three looked up and back in shock as Scott appeared, rowing the small inflatable raft with an actual oar.

"And the riff-raff ride the rickety rafts!" Chris announced, flying back into view as the group of three paddled harder. The host laughed as both vessels moved out of sight. "I am _hilarious_ ," he told the camera.

/

The scene moved to Lightning, speeding along happily until his boat's motor started to splutter and the whole thing slowed to a halt. "Whoa, hold on there boat," he said as he tried the ignition to no avail, "you _better_ not be thinkin' of stoppin' now! How's Lightning supposed to win if he can't move?"

"And _Izzy_ takes the lead!" Chris announced as the Boat of Losers drove past in the background, the host right behind it but pausing in mid-air as Lightning tried to start his boat again. "But! Will she keep it all the way through coconut alley?"

"Coconut alley?" Izzy repeated as the shot cut to her looking out the cabin of her boat. "What's-oww!" he question was both interrupted and answered when a coconut fell on her head. "Hey. HEY! WATCH IT!" she said angrily, picking up the coconut with her left hand and angrily shaking at the sky with another left hand.

The camera moved above her to show Chef Hatchet following along in a hot air balloon. He snickered evilly, then bent down into the basket to grab an armful of coconuts. He dropped them all at once, and the shot quick-panned back down to show Izzy, eyes wide, duck back in to the safety of her boat's cabin as coconuts rained down upon where she'd stood. She reappeared moments later, glared skyward, and shook her right fist as she yelled "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

Another coconut hit her on the head.

/

"Courtney and Gwen reach coconut alley!" Chris announced from off-camera as the two girls were shown easily speeding along. The shot cut to a close-up of Chef as he cackled softly to himself, then pulled back as he dumped a small basket's worth of coconuts over the side.

The noticeable whistle of something falling was rapidly growing louder as the scene cut back to the boat below. "Uh-oh," Courtney said worriedly. "What's that?" She and Gwen looked up, and the perspective shifted to show the load of coconuts falling towards the camera. The screen momentarily turned black as several red and yellow streaks flashed across in time with the sound of coconut impacts, ad the footage resumed to show Courtney getting hit on the head while her partner stood and shook her fist with a shout of "Hey!"

The blows were enough to knock Courtney screaming over and out of the driver's seat and boat entirely. Gwen gasped as soon as she saw. "Courtney!" she shouted in fear, quickly leaning over and grabbing her friend's leg before she fell into the lake entirely. She quickly pulled the other girl back into the boat, getting her stable with a short whooping cheer.

"Thanks, Gwen," Courtney said as the intense music faded out. "I was almost _done for_."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Gwen replied. "I couldn't just _let_ you fall overboard. Who knows what's in that water."

"True," Courtney smiled.

"Boring!" Chris exclaimed in annoyance, the shot panning up to him. "Better up the ante, Chef!" he called further upward as a short but dramatic tune played.

The camera cut to Chef as he grinned evilly and held up a stick of dynamite, already lit. "It's times like _these_ when I _really_ love this job," he commented before dropping the explosive with a snicker.

It landed with a clang on the girls' motor, and they only had a short moment to look at it before it exploded. They screamed as smoke filled the area, quickly dissipating to show a close-up of the ruined, sparking, smoking motor. "Aww, _great_ ," Courtney muttered.

/

"Come on, ya sha-dang _motor_ ," Lightning griped as he pounded on his boat's motor, each blowing causing a small puff of smoke to come out of it, "start already! Lightning's falling behind!"

"Ahoy! Lightning!" came the voice of Shawn, the jock looking up and the camera pulling back as the two rafts closed in on him.

"You having trouble, mate?" Jasmine added, the three aboard the wooden raft still paddling along while Scott struggled to keep up by himself.

"Uh...a little, yeah," Lightning hesitantly admitted as he walked back up to his boat's wheel. He turned the ignition again, and his brow shot up when the engine roared to life. "Actually, scratch that," he said, the shot briefly cutting to show the two rafts slowing down as they came up behind the larger boat, with a close-up showing the scowl on Scott's face.

"Lightning is _back_ in the race!" the jock announced, speeding away as the shot cut back outward, leaving a large wake of water behind him that splashed the others. "Sorry!" he called from off-screen as the other four voiced their annoyance and disgust.

"Geez, how are we ever gonna catch up if we don't have a motor?" Justin asked from the larger raft.

Jasmine scowled and thrust her rowing pole into his hands. "We work _harder_ ," she said before diving off the back of the raft.

"Uhh...," Shawn said, watching her hesitantly alongside Justin.

She quickly surfaced and grabbed hold of the end of the raft, and began to kick. "Keep paddling!" she commanded, startling the two boys to resume their polework. Their combined efforts allowed the raft to quickly speed away, leaving behind a rather disgruntled-looking Scott.

"Great," he muttered. "What am _I_ supposed to do?" The music turned suddenly ominous as the sound of something swimming nearby caught Scott's attention. He turned and looked behind him and gasped, but his shock faded quickly into a devious smile.

The viewpoint moved over his shoulder to reveal Fang swimming lazily on his back through the lake.

xxx

"This might just be what I need to get back in this!" Scott told the outhouse camera. "With Izzy still in the race, maybe I can convince that _shark_ to team up with me again."

xxx

"So far, _everyone's_ still alive," Chris said, flying in to an open patch of sky as the capstone theme started playing. "But, really, how likely is _that_ to continue? Find out when we return, with more Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

A short but ominous tune played as the episode resumed, panning down from the open sky to show Scott waving at Fang from his inflatable raft. "Hey! Hey! Fang, over here!"

The mutant shark, who had been lazily floating along on his back with his eyes closed, flipped over and gave the human an inquisitive look. It quickly turned into a toothy grin, however, and he swam over to the rapidly nervous farmer. "H-hey, so, remember how I helped you beat Izzy yesterday?" Scott said quickly as Fang began to circle the raft. "Turns out, that wasn't enough to get rid of her for good!" Fang stopped circling, and rose out of the water to give the farmer an annoyed yet curious look.

"She's in the lead of this race we're having right now, and I need _your_ help to beat her," Scott explained. "I _promise_ you, if you help me win this I'll do everything in my power to make sure she gets voted out tonight." The camera focused on Fang as he raised an eyebrow and rubbed his jaw in thought. "So, whaddaya say? You in?"

Fang grinned his same toothy grin, then dove into the water. The shot cut back to Scott as he gripped the sides of his raft and looked over the edge in wide-eyed wariness, the ominous music rapidly peaking as Fang suddenly rose up beneath the tiny one-person raft. Scott yelped, and the mutant shark swam off quickly with Scott and the raft on his back.

The music shifted into something much more fast-paced as the scene cut back to Jasmine, Shawn, and Justin paddling along at a reasonably swift pace. A sudden whoop caught their attention, and the perspective moved far behind Jasmine as she looked back with dread on her face. "Uh-oh," she said as the camera swiftly approached her.

"See ya later, suckers!" Scott taunted, the camera returning to its usual position as Scott and Fang sped past.

"Was that _Fang_?!" Shawn exclaimed in shock.

"I _knew_ he and that shark were working together!" Justin added in outrage.

xxx

"It makes perfect sense!" the model told the confessional camera with almost wild eyes. " _Scott_ hates Izzy, _Fang_ hates Izzy, they're like two hideous peas in a horribly deformed pod! No _wonder_ he sabotaged the fight yesterday," he said, lightly pounding his fist onto his open palm. "But _man_ , I've been killing it with the brainwork lately. It's like I'm a whole new person! Look out world," he said confidently, sticking his hand out in front of him and sliding it across his field of view in a revelatory fashion, "Justin _2.0_ is _on_ to your secrets."

xxx

A low but tense tune began to play as the scene cut back to Gwen and Courtney, the latter now pounding angrily on the remains of their engine. Gwen, standing at the wheel, noticed something approaching from behind them, and both girls watched with wide eyes as Lightning passed them by.

"See ya at the finish line, girls!" he called out to them.

Scott and Fang arrived seconds later. " _Impressive_ , eh Courtney?" Scott said, giving his former teammate a finger pistol and waggling his eyebrows as he passed by. The shot cut to the two girls as they shared a look of disbelief and confusion.

It faded back into shock as Justin, Shawn, and Jasmine passed by in their raft, and the two girls drooped and sighed in disappointment. "This just in," Chris said as he flew up in the background, attracting the girls' attention. " _Izzy_ still has the lead! And thanks to a couple new _engines_ , guess who's last?" he asked the two below him.

" _Last place_?" Gwen repeated to her partner. "Aww, man!" she added, crossing her arms in annoyance as Courtney pursed her lips in frustration.

She began to pound on the engine again, grunting out "Come _on_ you piece of junk!" Meanwhile, Gwen bent over and rooted around next to the driver's seat, and soon came back up with an oar. Courtney turned a confused look her way as she dashed forward, and after the boat jerked forward the shot but to the bow to show Gwen sitting on it, paddling away.

/

The tense tune rose up again as the scene flashed to Izzy speeding along happily in the Boat of Losers. A pan back to the left showed Lightning coming up from behind, determination on his face. The sound of something falling alerted him, and he swerved his boat towards the camera just as a stick of dynamite plunged into the water where he'd been and exploded.

"Dude, watch where you're throwin' those things!" he yelled upwards angrily as he was sprayed with water from the blast.

"I'm tryin'!" Chef yelled back down as the shot cut to him drifting along in his hot hair balloon. "But y'all kids just won't stand still." He dropped another stick, and the camera cut back to Lightning as he swerved the boat back to the left. The stick hit the water, and the explosion filled the scene with water.

It soon fell away, revealing a close-up as he turned his gaze back forward and widened his eyes in surprise. "Sha- _whoa_ ," he said, a serene melody playing as the camera cut to a slowly-panning shot of a familiar large beige mansion built atop a small cliff, a stairway carved into the rock that lead to a long pier where a pair of sailboats were docked. "Ain't that the place the losers all lived in back in season one?"

"Yeah, Playa Des Losers," the nasally voice of Scott said as the serene music faded away, prompting Lightning to look down and back in surprise and the camera to pull out enough to show the farmer and his mutant ally coming up alongside his boat. "I'm surprised it still looks this good, I woulda figured it'd be _ruined_ by now."

"Pfft, as if," Chris said suddenly, flying up above them. "Why would I let a place like that fall into disrepair? It's not like it was the _cabins_ or the _mess hall_ or anything."

"Whatever, dude," Lightning said uncaringly as the focus moved back to him. "That place ain't important right now."

"Yeah," Scott chimed in as the challenge music resumed, the camera zooming out to reveal him and Fang already ahead of the jock's boat, "what's important is getting the _lead_. Later, sucker!" he called back at Lightning, laughing as he rode out of sight.

Lightning frowned and sped onward, but the camera zoomed out to show Chris hovering in place. The host looked back, and moments later Shawn, Justin, and Jasmine arrived on the scene. "Aww man, why couldn't the losers have stayed in _that_ place last season?" the model whined.

"Yeah," Jasmine chimed in, her breathing heavily as she continued to kick their raft forward. "I thought it'd just been overrun by mutants."

"But if Playa Des Losers has been operational all this time," Shawn added, looking back in confusion, "why wasn't it used again?"

"Uh, _because_ ," Chris said in annoyance, swooping down over them, "the Playa Des Losers thing was only a one-season deal. It was originally my summer cottage, and after the first season was over that's what it went back to being. And good riddance, too, it was waaaaaay too good for you kids."

"Figures...," Justin said bitterly.

"Hold on," Shawn said, looking up questioningly. "You call _that_ ," he pointed back in the direction they'd come from, "a _cottage_?"

The shot cut back to Chris. " _Duh_ , what else would it be?"

"Oh, I don't know," Courtney interrupted, the host and camera both looking down to show her and Gwen still trailing behind, "maybe a _mansion_?"

Chris screwed his face up in disbelief and outrage. "It's not a _mansion_ , are you kidding me? It's a cottage!"

"It's _totally_ a mansion!" Courtney countered.

"No," the host sniffed disdainfully, "it's a _cottage_."

"Pretty sure," Gwen chimed in as she continued to paddle, "you didn't describe it as a 'cottage' when it first showed up in season one."

Chris closed his eyes and turned his nose up stubbornly. "I have no idea what you are referring to," he told her plainly before flying off.

/

The scene flashed back to Shawn, Justin, and Jasmine. "Hey, so," the model spoke up idly, "I was thinking. How about the three of _us_ form an alliance?" he asked the others, looking over at them with an almost eager expression. "Huh? Huh? How's _that_ for an idea?"

"Not very good," Jasmine told him sharply, still pushing the raft along. "Why would _either_ of us form an alliance with _you_?"

"Yeah," Shawn chimed in," you aren't exactly our _favorite person_."

"C'mon, guys, that doesn't matter!" Justin said with attempted joviality. "With Scott joining forces with Fang, he's the biggest threat out here. We gotta band together to get rid of him!"

Shawn looked at him blankly, then rubbed his chin in thought. "Hmm...he _did_ manage to eliminate Alejandro with that fake idol," he said. "That's no easy task. Maybe you've got a point."

The shot cut back to Justin as his eyebrow twitched over his smile.

xxx

"Okay, I know I need Jasmine and her smelly hermit friend on my side for this," Justin told the outhouse camera with a sideways glance to the wall, "but them bringing up Alejandro's elimination like they don't know it was all _my_ idea really gets on my nerves. I'm gonna have to set the record straight pretty soon...but then again," he said thoughtfully, "is that really the best idea?"

xxx

"Okay, _look_ ," Jasmine said as the static cut away to show her in close-up, "even if we _do_ decide to help you vote out Scott, don't try and act like you're the boss. _You_ need _us_ , not the other way around. Got that?" she barked.

"I got it, I got it," Justin answered warily.

/

The background music became fast-paced and tense once more as another flash returned the focus to Scott and Fang. "Look!" the farmer said, pointing ahead of them, "we've almost caught up to Izzy!"

Fang grinned, and the perspective shifted to show the camera 'swimming' towards the distant Boat of Losers. As it drew closer, a swarm of small sharp-toothed fish leaped from the water and snapped their jaws hungrily. "PIRANHAS!" Scott screamed in fear, but the shot returned to its usual angle and zoomed in on Fang as he merely opened his mouth and kept on going. The piranhas kept jumping and snapping, but to their brief surprise landed in the mutant shark's open mouth, the jaws promptly snapping shut.

"Oh, uh, nevermind then," Scott said with mild bewilderment as the camera panned back to him clinging to his raft for dear life. "Good work!" he told his partner with a small smile, Fang merely smirking dangerously before suddenly leaping from the water. Scott screamed in fear, and the camera cut to the Boat of Losers as he, Fang, and the inflatable raft all landed on the deck with enough force to shake the whole ship.

"What the heck?" Izzy said, darting out of the cabin with shock and confusion on her face. She gasped, and the shot cut to her grinning rival as he advanced on her menacingly.

He was suddenly hit with a coconut, and the camera cut back to Izzy to show her kneeling on the ground scooping the coconuts that had been dumped on her and passing them to an extra set of arms. "If you think you can take me down, _think again_!" she shouted before throwing the coconuts rapid-fire, a quick-pan back to Fang showing him flinching under the barrage and even backing up slightly. As he passed the far edge of the cabin the camera zoomed in on Scott, standing behind the corner and gaping in shock.

"Ahahahaha!" Izzy cackled, continuing her assault. "Not so _easy_ with my extra arms, now is it?" she taunted.

"Quick, use this!" Scott said, the camera quick-panning back again as he handed Fang the inflatable raft. The mutant shark spent a moment looking at it in confusion, but upon getting hit in the side of the head with another coconut he held it up in front of him. The subsequent coconuts bounced off harmlessly, and he grinned.

"Oh crap," Izzy said, eyes wide with panic as Fang charged at her with his new shield. She quickly looked around, then dove overboard. The shot cut to the water as she surfaced and laughed...only to resume her panic as Fang jumped down in front of her. "Double crap...," she said as he advanced slowly with a wide, toothy grin.

"Great work, buddy!" Scott called out as the focus cut back to the Boat of Losers, the farmer quickly running into the cabin. "I'll take it from here!"

He quickly got the boat moving again, and as he left the scene Chris flew into it. "And in a stunning display of piracy, Scott throws Izzy to the shark and takes her ship – and the _lead_ – for himself."

A pan downward showed Izzy backing away nervously from Fang. "Okay," she said with a sudden air of confidence, "I know what you're thinking. There's no _way_ she has the advantage in the water right?" Fang nodded. "Well-"

"OUTTA THE WAY, GIRL!" Lightning suddenly yelled from off-screen, causing Izzy to gasp and swim back and towards the camera. Fang looked back in confusion towards the sound of the rapidly-approaching engine, and was just able to see Lightning's speedboat before it ran him down and launched itself into the air from the impact.

The shot cut in close to Izzy as the jock's arm swung down and grabbed her shoulder, the camera zooming back out as he pulled her up onto the ship just as it landed back in the water. "Ooh, my _hero_!" Izzy gushed, clasping her hands and looking at her savior excitedly.

"You know it!" Lightning replied with a confident grin, his eyes locked on the course ahead. "Now let's get back in the lead. Sha- _Lightning_!"

"Woo-hoo!" Izzy cheered as they sped off.

/

A flash took the focus back to Gwen and Courtney. A deep riff played as the exhausted goth continued to paddle the boat forward one stroke at a time, her partner now pounding furiously on the control panel. "Ohhh! Why! Won't! You! _Wooooorrrk_!"

Another series of deep notes opened for a renewed challenge theme as a close-up showed the girls' engine starting back up again at last. "Oh thank goodness," Gwen said in relief as the motor sputtered into action. "Let's go!" She bent forward in her seat with her oar behind her, and with a confident smirk Courtney took the helm once more.

/

The music continued as the scene cut back to the Dock of Shame, the host now standing at the end of it with his assistant but not his jetpack. "All the boats are in the final stretch!" the host announced as the camera moved in for a close-up. "Who's gonna win tonight's immunity?"

"Come on, you hunk of junk," Scott muttered in the cabin of his boat, "can't you go any faster than this?"

The sound of an approaching engine caught his attention, and he poked his head out the side door in confusion and worry. "Oh yeah!" Lightning cheered, the shot pulling back as he and Izzy passed Scott by in the speedboat. "Later, suckah!" the jock taunted while his new partner waved at her nemesis.

"Oh, _come on_!" Scott growled in frustration, gritting his teeth and leaning back into the cabin as he refocused on the race.

A cut to the trio on the raft showed them still hard at work. "You holdin' up okay Jasmine?" Shawn asked as he and Justin continued to help push the raft along.

"Don't worry about me," Jasmine panted. "Just keep doing what we're doing and if we're lucky the others will take each other out."

Her attention was promptly caught by the sound of an approaching engine, and soon enough Gwen and Courtney were passing them by with a whoop and a cheer.

"Okay, new plan!" Jasmine barked. "Both of you, into the water! We'll need everyone pushing if we want a chance at getting ahead." The shot cut to Shawn and Justin, both boys looking stunned. "Move it, sailors! _Move_!" she ordered, and the focus moved back to her as both boys plunged into the water and swam over to the still-moving raft to take up positions on either side of her.

/

"Hey! Hey! Look!" Izzy gasped in excitement as the scene flashed back to her and Lightning as she pointed wildly over his shoulder and ahead of them. "There's the finish line, we've almost won!"

"Aww yeah," Lightning said, unaware of the clunking noises coming from his boat, "here it comes!"

A few louder clunks startled the pair, and their boat began to slow down. "What now?!" the jock exclaimed in sudden frustration.

" _Ohhhhh_ ," Chris mockingly cringed as the shot cut back to him and Chef, "Lightning and Izzy's chances of winning have stalled!" he said as the red-bottomed speedboat slowed to a stop right in front of the buoy marking the finish line. "Just like their motor!" the host added as Lightning frantically tried to restart his boat.

"No way, dude, come on!" Lightning told the boat in despair.

"Sha-start already!" Izzy added pleadingly.

The shot quick-panned back to Scott as a pair of cheers got his attention again. "What is it _now_?!" he grunted, leaning out of his cabin once more. The camera moved to the view from the the deck revealing Courtney and Gwen coming up quickly behind, causing Scott to gasp and duck back inside. "No, no, no!" he repeated in anger and disbelief as he looked back forward.

"You better watch out, Scott!" Courtney shouted, the perspective moving behind her and Gwen.

"Yeah!" Gwen chimed in. "We're coming for you, so just give up!"

The two girls laughed, and the shot cut back to a close-up of Scott through the boat's front window. "Oh really," he jeered, gripping the wheel tightly in both hands, "is that _so_?!" With a heave of effort he he spun the wheel hard to starboard. The camera cut outside just in time to catch the Boat of Losers swerving to the side and ramming against the girls' purple-bottomed speedboat.

Gwen and Courtney screamed and stumbled, and Courtney had to quickly grab her friend by the arm before she fell over the side of the boat. Gwen quickly regained her balance and let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks," she told her friend as the ex-CIT angrily took her place at the helm again.

"He is gonna _pay_ for that," she declared, speeding the boat up again.

xxx

"I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to ram into the boat the girl you like is driving," Scott told the outhouse camera, "but this is _Courtney_ we're talking about. She wants to win as much as I do, she'll understand."

xxx

The camera cut back to Lightning and Izzy as the jock repeatedly tried to get their boat started again. "C'mon, hurry up!" Izzy implored before Chris and Chef began to hoot with laughter, earning dirty looks from both stalled campers.

A quick-pan back to the left caught Scott, Courtney, and Gwen as their two boats rammed into one another again. "Out of the way!" Courtney shouted.

"Not a chance!" Scott yelled back from his cabin.

The shot focused in on Gwen as she looked behind them. "Uhh, Courtney?" she said warily. "We've got company!" Courtney looked back over her shoulder and gasped, the camera panning over to show Jasmine, Shawn, and Justin pushing the raft along at a surprisingly fast speed.

"Not on _my_ yacht!" Courtney declared, looking back ahead with a glare and speeding the boat onward.

To both girls' shock it collided with something almost immediately, and the shot pulled back to show Scott and the Boat of Losers directly in front of them. "Thanks for the boost!" the farmer taunted as his ship lurched forward.

"Crap...," Courtney muttered as she sped after him.

The tension built up in the music as the shot cut back to Lightning and Izzy, both growing more nervous by the second as the jock failed to restart their engine. "Okay, my turn," Izzy said suddenly, shoving Lightning out of his seat and bending down under the boat's dashboard.

A cut back to Scott, Gwen, and Courtney showed the girls trying to swerve around their foe only for him to quickly cut them off each time, laughing with devious glee. Lightning was shown standing up and looking backwards with wide eyes, and Izzy was shown still at work with several extra arms now holding wires. Scott pulled a chain hanging next to him that blew his ship's horn, then Izzy finally emerged from under her shared speedboat's dash and took the wheel. A close-up of their engine showed it rattling to life once more causing Lightning and Izzy to cheer, and they began to inch forward again.

The music peaked victoriously as the camera cut outward again, showing the Boat of Losers passing Lightning and Izzy by and crossing the finish line just seconds before them.

"Ooh, Scott wins it by a hair!" Chris announced as a proper song of triumph began to play. "Lightning and Izzy take second place! Not that it matters," he added as the girls passed by in front of him, "Courtney and Gwen take third. And last and most _definitely_ least are the riff-rafters," he said as the wooden raft drifted by, the three manning it pulling themselves back on to it. "Seriously," he laughed, "I can't believe you guys thought six legs could beat an _actual_ motor. Shoulda just given up from the start."

"Oh, go tell someone who cares," Jasmine told him angrily.

"Looks like someone's a sore loser," Chris whispered to Chef.

He was promptly splashed with large amount of water. " _Hey_!" he spluttered in outrage, and the perspective inverted to show Jasmine, Shawn, and Justin all glaring at him as they floated by on their raft.

xxx

"That might not have been the best idea long-term," Jasmine admitted, "but after spending almost the entire race in the water, I really needed it."

xxx

All eight campers were now assembled on the dock before the still-dripping host and his assistant. "As winner of today's challenge," Chris said as he wrung out his captain's hat, "Scott gets immunity and a night at the spa hotel." The shot cut to the farmer as he grinned, with Courtney, Gwen, and Justin standing behind him looking quite annoyed. "And he can bring one person along with him," Chris added, and immediately all seven other campers leaned in to the devious redhead expectantly.

"Well _obviously_ there's only one person I can pick," Scott spoke up. The camera followed him as he turned around, smirked, and said " _Courtney_."

The girl in question raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Why _me_?"

"I'm sure you'll find out," Chris said offhandedly as the focus returned to him. "As for the rest of you, hit the voting booth."

Everyone left, save for Scott, Courtney, and Gwen. "What is this _about_?" Courtney asked, she and her friend giving the farmer looks of suspicion. "One minute you're ramming into us with your boat, the next minute you wanna take me to spa hotel?"

"Yeah, why are you acting _nice_ all of a sudden?" Gwen added.

Scott briefly gave the goth a look of annoyance before turning his gaze back to the ex-CIT. "Come on, you know what happened back there wasn't _personal_. I just wanted to win, same as you! And now that the teams are merged, I figure the two of us should form an alliance. With Gwen too, of course," he added with an almost condescending smirk to the rather annoyed-looking goth.

xxx

"Wow, I can tell who _he_ really wants to work with," Gwen told the outhouse camera, her arms crossed disdainfully.

xxx

Gwen and Courtney shared a look of utter bewilderment. "Why on earth would we want to form an alliance with _you_?" Courtney asked the farmer, surprising him. "After everything you've done, why would we even _trust_ you? Heck, a few days ago you were trying to _blackmail_ me after I refused to hurt Gwen."

"W-well," Scott said, clearly taken off-guard, "what do you expect me to do? I can't win immunity _all_ the time, so I'm gonna need an ally. And I figure, y'know, you're pretty-err, pretty good at the game," he hastily corrected himself, "so I figured you were the best choice."

Courtney and Gwen crossed their arms and glared at him.

"A-and I'll, uh, I'll make up for what I did?" he added hesitantly and with an awkward grin.

xxx

"Hmm...," Courtney thought in the outhouse, rubbing her chin and looking to the side. "He's _smelly_ and a total _rat_ , but he seems to have some kind of weird... _thing_ for me. Maybe I can use that to me and Gwen's advantage?"

xxx

The scene returned to a close-up of nervously smiling Scott, the camera panning over to show Courtney whispering into an increasingly horrified Gwen's ear. "No way...," the goth said. "You _can't_ be serious." Courtney whispered something more, and the goth's look faltered slightly. "Well...if you're really sure about this."

"I'm sure," Courtney told her with a nod. She turned back to a hopeful-yet-nervous Scott, and said "You have a deal."

The farmer sagged in relief. "Good," he said, quickly regaining his confident composure. "And I already know who we should vote for..."

xxx

"Okay, that got _way_ too real," Scott griped to the outhouse camera. "Maybe I was a little wrong about Courtney. Oh well," he said dismissively, "I can figure her out when we're alone together." He waggled his eyebrows. "Right now, I got myself an ally."

xxx

A few plodding notes played as the scene cut back to the common area, Lightning heading into the loser's cabin while Justin hung back and held out an arm for the others to stop. "Hey, so I know I asked all of you to vote out Scott with me tonight," he told them, "but since he went and won immunity I figured that would be a bad idea. So I was thinking, how about instead we go after Lightning?" he asked with a confident grin. "I mean, he's pretty good physically, right?"

A flat, sour note played as the shot cut to show Shawn, Jasmine, and Izzy giving him odd looks. "Mate, _I'm_ pretty good physically," Jasmine said. "I'm not scared of Lightning."

"Yeah, why would any of us wanna get rid of him?" Shawn added.

Izzy nodded enthusiastically. "He totally saved my butt today, there's no _way_ I can vote him off!"

The camera cut back to show Justin gaping in disbelief. "Seriously? Come on, guys, stick with me on this one!"

Shawn snorted as he and Jasmine started to walk away. "Uhh, how about _not_?"

"Yeah, we _told_ you not to act like you were in charge," Jasmine added. "Consider the alliance _off_."

Justin watched the two survivalists leave with a slight scowl, then hung his head and sighed once they were out of sight. "Let me guess," he said, the shot zooming out as he looked up at Izzy, "you're gonna abandon me too?"

Izzy shrugged happily. "I guess it depends on what you do now," she told him. "I'm totally fine voting with you as long as it isn't for Lightning."

The model sniffed haughtily and sent a dirty look back toward the cabin. "Well, maybe we should vote out Jasmine the _mighty_?"

"Really?" Izzy asked, raising a brow in confusion. "Aren't you scared that, like, if they're not on your side she and Shawn are just gonna vote for you? I mean," she laughed, "that's _totally_ what I would do if I were her."

"Nah, I don't really worry about stuff like that," Justin answered smoothly. "Even if they _are_ mad at me, I've got a _pretty good_ feeling they won't be able to get the numbers to vote me out." He closed his eyes and chuckled lightly, shaking his head slowly from side to side. "Kinda want to see them try, though."

He turned and walked away, leaving the camera to focus in on a puzzled Izzy.

xxx

"Huh," the wild child said, two arms crossed while a third rubbed her chin in thought and a fourth scratched her head. "Justin seemed _really_ confident he wasn't going home for some reason. It's almost like..."

She paused. Her eyes widened. She gasped.

"Holy crap, Super Hottie has the invincibility statue!" Izzy exclaimed in sudden realization. "You sly, sly, _gorgeous_ man," she said with narrow eyes and a sly smirk. "This changes everything! But _how_...?" she asked, shifting from an excited posture back into a contemplative one. " _Izzy_ thinks she should just let him have his fun, but _El Mal_ _é_ _fico_ thinks otherwise..."

Her lips curled up into a wide smirk. "Oohoohoo, this is gonna be _fun_...," she said, rubbing three pairs of hands together in eager anticipation.

xxx

/

The usual ceremonial theme opened over the shot of the moonlit island, the scene cutting to the campfire pit to show the eight campers filing in to their seats. "Hey," Justin said sharply yet quietly as Scott took a seat in the back row, "why was your stupid _carving_ in my bed, and what happened to my other mirror?"

"Excuse me?" Scot sneered. " _You're_ the one who stole my _whittling project_ and replaced it with a shiny piece of glass."

"As if," Justin shot back. "You just count yourself lucky you won immunity, otherwise you'd be going home tonight."

Scott snorted. "I'm so scared. You just count _yourself_ lucky that I have _bigger_ pests to stamp out right now."

"Good news!" Chris announced excitedly. "As a reward for making it to the merge, there will be no Boney Island for any of you tonight." All the campers cheered save Scott, Shawn, and Jasmine, and a few deep notes played. "Enjoy it while it lasts," the host added, "because one of you _will_ be going home tonight. Now," he said as another few deep notes played, "time for your _first_ individual vote of the season!"

xxx

The static cut to a single eight-way split screen as the campers cast their votes in silence – Courtney, Gwen, Jasmine, and Izzy on the top; Justin, Shawn, Lightning, and Scott on the bottom.

xxx

"Welp, that was fast," Chris said, now holding a stack of photographs in one hand. "The votes have been tallied, and the following campers are safe. _Scott_ ," he began, holding the stack of photos up to the campers to show the farmer's mugshot on top. " _Courtney_." He let the first photo slide off, revealing the ex-CIT's beneath it.

The shot cut to the back row as Scott gave his new ally a smile, which she awkwardly returned. Gwen, however, gave the boy a dirty look out of the corner of her eye.

" _Shawn_ ," Chris said off-camera, the scene panning to the nervous survivalist as he let out his breath and shared a happy smile with Jasmine. " _Gwen_." The shot returned to the three in the back row, Scott looking away in annoyance as the two girls shared a genuinely happy smile. " _Lightning_." The camera cut back to Chris as he let the goth's picture slide away, revealing the jock's beneath it.

"Izzy, Jasmine, Justin," he said with false solemness, " _all_ of you received votes against you." A split-screen close-up of the faces of the bottom three slid into view, Jasmine and Justin from the top and Izzy from the bottom. Only the two girls looked nervous. "The next person safe tonight is... _Jasmine_."

The two right sections of the split-screen disappeared as Jasmine let out her breath, then looked over to see Shawn resting his hand on her shoulder and smiling at her. The shot cut to Izzy and Justin locking eyes, the wild child nervous but the model calm. The camera panned behind them, showing Scott leaning forward with a darkly expectant grin on his face while Gwen sat back in mild discomfort and Courtney looked between them warily.

"And tonight's _loser_ is...," Chris began, the elimination music reaching the peak of its tension as the shot quickly switched between close-ups of him, the corner of the photos he was holding showing only one left behind Jasmine's, Izzy's wide-eyed and almost trembling face, and Justin as he calmly looked to his partner and raised an eyebrow.

" _Justin_ ," the host finally announced. Izzy sighed in relief, even sprouting an extra right arm to wipe the sweat from her brow. "Sorry dude," Chris said, "but you're out."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Justin said with a calm smirk, the few ominous notes playing as he stood up. "Sorry, Izzy, but I'm not gonna be the one who goes home, not when I have the _idol_."

Everyone else but Izzy and Chris gasped as he reached into his back pocket.

"You _do_ know you have to actually give it to me for it to _work_ , right?" Chris asked in an unamused tone.

"Yeah, hold on, I've got it here somewhere," Justin said, reaching into his other back pocket.

After a few seconds he paused, and his eyes widened nervously. "Hold on, I _do_ have it, right?" he asked, frantically patting himself down. "I _swear_ I had it on me when I came here! M-maybe I dropped it somewhere? Just gimme a couple seconds to go find it."

"Uh, yeah, how 'bout _not_ ," Chris said sternly. "If you don't have the invincibility statue when the votes are read, you don't get saved."

"C-come on, Chris, be reasonable!" Justin pleaded with an almost joking tone, abandoning his body search entirely. "I _clearly_ have it, I found it in the Fun Zone remember? Check the footage!"

"Well, _clearly_ you don't have it anymore," Chris countered. "So _clearly_ , you're getting _flushed_."

A short but dramatic riff played over a close-up of Justin's shocked and horrified face, and a horizontal scene rotation transitioned it to the Flush of Shame.

"This...this can't be happening," Justin said in shock, now floating in the massive toilet bowl while the solemn farewell theme played. "There must be some mistake!"

"Sorry, bro," Chris said, the camera cutting to him standing on the dock with his umbrella. "Only mistake tonight was you losing that idol. Maybe you'll find it in the sewers."

"W-wait, I-" Justin hurriedly protested, but he was too late. A beep signaled the host's decision, and moments later the supermodel was flushed away with a scream.

Chris sighed happily, opening the umbrella to shield himself from the tremendous backsplash. "I love my job," he said.

The shot cut to the final seven standing on the dock, cringing and hanging backward as they let the toilet water splash down in front of them. "Okay, not that Lightning ain't happy he's gone or anythin'," the uber-jock said after he and the others had recovered, "but what the _heck_ just happened?"

"Who knows," Gwen said, and an ominous melody played as the camera focused on Izzy, grinning widely to herself.

xxx

The scene rippled as the footage moved back in time, cutting to Shawn, Courtney, Scott, Jasmine, Lightning, Gwen, and Justin filing in to the campfire pit. The camera zoomed in on Justin's waist, showing a noticeable bulge in his back pocket. As he passed by a particular bush, a slender white-skinned hand reached out of it, reached for the model's pocket, and to a dramatic chord stole the McLean Brand Chris Head Statue from it.

The camera zoomed out as Izzy stood up from the bushes and moved to the end of the line without the others noticing.

A bout of static immediately transitioned to a confessional, the wild child holding the idol in her lap while she laughed, low and evilly.

After a moment she stopped, smiled darkly, and whispered "I touched his _butt_."

She resumed laughing, leaning back to cackle so hard she fell into the outhouse toilet. "Aaagh!"

xxx

"Seven players down, seven to go," Chris told the camera as the footage cut back to the present, the capstone theme beginning as it always did. "Who's next to take a paddle in the big porcelain pond?" he asked, motioning to the giant toilet beside him. "Your guess is _almost_ as good as mine. Find out for sure when we return with another all-new episode of, Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

The camera cut outward to show the docks, then the camp, and then the distant island itself...but it did not fade to black.

The music turned ominous as the camera zoomed back in, quickly focusing on a small patch of water just off shore and far from camp. A flurry of bubbles suddenly appeared on the surface, and the scene followed it as it moved slowly to the beach. A few feet away, the helmet of a dark-colored full-body wetsuit suddenly emerged, and the camera zoomed out as the person wearing it – relatively short and definitely fat – walked hesitantly up on to dry land.

It was followed soon after by a taller, more slender figure in a similar suit...and then by a third.

A few deep and dramatic notes played as the shot rapidly zoomed back outward to the usual long-distance shot of the island.

(Fade to Black)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene faded in to the sound of an engine and the front skis of a snowmobile against a field of pure white.

"Uggh, can't this stupid thing go any faster?" a harsh, bratty, and familiar female voice said. "I wanna meet the really hot guy, like, _yesterday_."

"Yes, I know," another voice said – definitely male, though with a slightly high pitch to it, put-upon as it was. "You've only told me once every five minutes since we got to the Yukon."

"Well then, stop being _useless_ and hurry up already!" the girl said, the camera finally zooming out to show the figures both dressed in heavy parkas and mittens. The boy was shorter and in white, and also in the driver's seat; the girl was in a pale pink, and sat behind him. "Seriously, I am freezing my _butt_ off out here, so stop _complaining_ and start looking for my future _boyfriend_." She smacked the boy on the head.

"Oww! Hey, watch it!" the boy said. "I'm the one driving, remember? And _you're_ the one that's been _complaining_." The girl grunted with a mix of offense and disgust. "Oh, and trust me: there's no _way_ Justin's ever gonna fall for you."

"Uggh, don't tell me _he's_ gay, too," the girl spat irritably.

"Not that I know of." the boy said with an audible smirk. "But he _does_ have standards. _High_ ones. And I'm pretty sure _you_ don't qualify."

The girl smacked him in the head again. "I have a better chance than _you_ have with that ugly _goth_ girl," she told him. "I'm surprised you didn't sign up to bring _her_ back."

"That's because I actually _want_ to be a part of this thing," the boy explained. "And there's no _way_ Gwen's getting eliminated again."

"You don't know that," the girl said.

"And you _do_?" the boy countered. "Because if you've figured out how to predict the eliminations quicker than Dawn, I'm sure she'd _love_ to hear it. We all would, it'd make this a heck of a lot easier if we didn't have to _scramble_ at the last minute to get to our assigned locations before the losers wash up."

The girl was silent for a moment, then scoffed. "Whatever. You just don't wanna admit that she doesn't wanna see you."

"Not with Trent there, she wouldn't," the boy said. "Now stop being vindictive and keep an eye out, we should be near the spot me, B and Cameron triangulated."

"Hey you're not the _boss_ of me," the girl told him sharply even as she stood up slightly. "I-" she began before looking forward and inhaling sharply. "There it is! I found it first!"

"No you didn't, that's just a rock," the boy said in annoyance, the camera cutting back briefly to show them passing a tall rock formation jutting out of the snow in the foreground.

"Oh...," the girl said blankly as she watched it go by.

"Now _that's_ what we're looking for! Hoohoo!" the boy said excitedly, pointing forward.

The camera quick-panned over to a telephone pole next to a hole in the ice. The moment the snowmobile arrived the ground began to shake and rumble, and the two riding it quickly disembarked. "And just in time, too," the boy said just before water erupted from the hole, carrying a rather stunned Justin with it.

The model landed on the snow in a heap, but the boy and the girl quickly ran over to him and helped him up by the shoulders. "Wha...? What happened?" Justin asked blearily, looking from one figure to the other then rapidly shaking his head. "Cody, is that you?" he asked the boy.

The geek smiled and pulled down his hood. "You got it, man."

"Huh," Justin said blankly. "What are you doing out here, and why is it so cold?" he said, clutching himself and shivering as a chill breeze passed by.

"We're here to-" Cody began to explain before the girl suddenly and violently shoved him into the snow.

"We're here to rescue you," the girl explained quickly.

Justin blinked. "Oh, hey," he finally said in realization, "you're one of those cheerleader twins, aren't you?"

" _Amy_ ," she said quickly, pulling down her hood and pointing as best she could to the mole on her cheek. "My name is _Amy_. The one and only!" she said with an awkward laugh. "The smartest, hottest, and _best_ there's ever been."

"Riiight," Justin said slowly. "Say, Amy, would you mind getting me out of here?" he asked with his standard incredibly beautiful smile. "Even a _little_ frostbite could ruin my career."

Amy inhaled sharply. "That would be a _tragedy_ ," she said swiftly and with great horror. "Come on, we don't have time to spare," she said, grabbing Justin's hand and leading him back to the snowmobile. She sat in the driver's seat, he sat down behind her, and they drove off together.

Seconds later Cody chased after them. "Hey, wait for me!" he yelled angrily.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Hopefully Justin's departure was a shock to at least some of you. I mean, even with the possibility of the idol being stolen, how many of you expected Justin to be eliminated before it happened? Then again, I did give Izzy that confessional where she realized Justin had it...but then nothing immediately happened, so I do hope most of you were expecting her to do something else with that information.

But yeah. Now Izzy has the idol, and Justin's been flushed without a clue. Scott has formed an alliance with Courtney (and Gwen), Shawn and Jasmine are (working) together, and Lightning is...well, he's on his own. I think it's safe to say that things are gonna get interesting next week...

For once, I'm actually gonna talk about the bonus clip as I know I'll get plenty of questions about why I chose Cody over, like, anyone else. Basically...Amy was a pretty obvious choice, because if she's gonna get stuck doing something like this then of course she's gonna pick the really really hot guy to pick up. And as I was thinking of who to pair her with, I realized that Cody actually had the potential to be comedy gold alongside her. Plus, I figured it would be pretty easy to explain why Cody hadn't just chosen to pick up Gwen should she be eliminated. I hope you all feel the same way.

But...yeah. Next week is the much-awaited 'Episode 100', and while I haven't finished writing it yet, it's gonna be...quite the trip, to say the least.

See you then!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)


	9. Chapter 9 - The Phantom of the Island

**Author's Note**

Here we are, folks, at that much-awaited milestone! Episode 100 of the series (not including the specials for seasons one and two) is here at last, and I think it's quite the doozy. So get ready, because here it comes! ...after the review replies, of course.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Aha, thanks. I haven't seen that movie myself and I don't plan to, though.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks, I hope you like it.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you as always, I'm glad you liked my decision to give Izzy the idol.

 **Animation Adventures:** Happy anniversary, then! I'm glad you enjoyed Scott and Fang's team-up against Izzy, and later Lightning bailing her out; that all was easily the highlight of writing the episode for me. Regarding Gwen and Courtney, while I did try to tone them down from canon, I do so enjoy having them be a little gay for one another so I might've gotten a little wrapped up in that so my bad. Izzy stealing the idol is something I'm pretty happy I decided to go with (even with the consequences it caused for me), and as for the mystery trio...well, I have a feeling about your feeling, but I feel like not saying any more until the post script.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Glad to see another person is continuing to enjoy the Scott-Fang alliance. And yeah, Justin's elimination was definitely meant to be shocking, while also in-character. And I don't know about how little Mal has done; he did at least mess with a couple people by this point and arguably caused their downward spirals - Sierra in particular. Plus it's not really his fault Cameron wasn't eliminated when he planned on it. But, I still think I'm enjoying Izzy here than Mal in canon, if only because she's not a camera-hog like he was. Regarding the 'cottage', the possibility of Scott blowing it up and frame it on Izzy never even crossed my mind as it just doesn't strike me as something he'd actually do, much less get away with. As for the many mysteries of this week's episode...well, you'll find out their answers soon enough.

 **ashDanLand:** Haha, well, the thing with Izzy is that she's a pretty tricky person - both to live with and to write. It's easy to get her into trouble, but at the same time easy to get her out of it if you know what you're doing. I'm glad you like having her around. And yeah, I guess the regatta episode is a little forgettable in a few ways as the only major event aside from the merge was Duncan blowing up the resort.

 **bruno14:** Good to hear, good to hear. Not much to say about Justin; he kind of let the idol get to his head a little. I'm happy you liked Scott's joy at finally making the merge, as well as a good chunk of what Izzy did last week. Not much else to say, but I hope you enjoy what I have in store this week!

 **The Prime Writer:** Hmm, well, you'll find out who's doing what this episode soon enough. Like I told Karts, I probably did write Gwen and Courtney a little more friendly than I really should have last week, but honestly I do really like them like that so I just got more into it than I should have. As for the others...well, they're all developing in pretty interesting directions. You're kind of wrong about the idol, though - people had already by and large suspected somebody had it, they aren't going to be more suspicious after Justin's screw-up. And as for the bonus clips...I think it's time I confirmed that they're leading up to a particular scene (or set of scenes, I haven't quite decided how it'll all play out yet) in the finale.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Ohoho, well, I do so like it when my eliminations come as a surprise. And yeah, Izzy's definitely not a character for everyone; she's tricky to write in a few ways, and it's easy to get lazy with her if you don't have a clear goal in mind. As for the rest...well, I'm glad you enjoyed last week's merge, and I hope you enjoy episode 100.

 **OMAC001:** Haha, thanks. Although I don't know if I'd quite say that Izzy's a villain to be honest...

 **moka evans:** Always great to hear that I'm keeping up the quality of my writing, haha. And yeah, a lot of things have become sort of reversed compared to both last season, and canon - Courtney being the one with a boy-of-interest that Gwen isn't happy about; Scott and Fang's relationship; and even the role and usefulness of the idol. Regarding the elimination, Scott actually voted for Izzy last time as did Courtney and Gwen. Justin voted for Jasmine iirc, and everyone else voted out Justin. Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying the season and how I'm handling its villains.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** No worries, no worries, I wasn't really that public about my gender until fairly recently. More importantly, I'm glad you enjoyed last week's episode. I'll try to keep up the Fang/Scott alliance so long as Scott is in the game, but I'm not gonna insert Fang into episodes without another good reason to do so so keep that in mind. The whole Scott-Courtney-Gwen dynamic has been a pretty fun one to explore and write out this season, and I think there's a lot of depth to it. The developments of Lightning, Shawn, and Jasmine has also been a fun one, but I think Izzy might be the best recently. I've finally been able to make her relevant, and try to play up that wild card nature of hers. She's a very unique character, and I can only hope I've continued to do her justice this week. As for Justin...well, you nailed down a lot about his arc I think. He's a villain ,but not a very competent one, and while he did get better as the season wore on he was still a rookie that was unprepared to handle some aspects of the game.

 **TotalDramaPower:** Hey, Izzy may think in different ways than the others, but she isn't stupid. She can tell when someone is being more confident than they should be, sometimes at least. And hey, I'm glad you enjoyed seeing Justin finally get eliminated. Like you said, everyone is allying up besides Lightning and Izzy...but whether or not they'll decide to team up is something you'll have to read on to find out. Regarding potential romantic chemistry between them, I decided a while ago that while Izzy could certainly be attracted to Lightning, he probably wouldn't return it.

 **Eternal Nexus Warrior:** Yes, in the sense that I've been deliberately using Izzy this season as somewhat a parody of Mal and some of his role in the story. She's more acting out of a desire to cause chaos and mess with people than out of pure malice like The Malevolent One, though.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Haha, I'm glad you enjoy everyone left. It's always kind of a downer for me when a reviewer says they hate someone I know is gonna be in the game for a while more. And yeah, last week's episode definitely set up a few more things that'll be important going forward into the season's final stretch.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Yup, Izzy's finally coming in to her own a bit, and i hope you enjoy what I decided to do with her. Regarding that mirror-carving swap, that was something I'd written and then just sort of forgotten about until I was rereading the chapter. The one reference I made to it was a little rushed, I know.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Haha, you'll find out soon enough...

 **DSX62415:** I think it is at least, and I hope you do as well.

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, that's the thing with Izzy - she's pretty hard to predict. In this case, while it's easy to see her blowing up the mansion, she just didn't have any particular reason to do so. Sure, it would've pissed off Chris, but that's not really what Izzy's focused on right now. And yeah, the whole Scott-Courtney-Gwen thing I've been setting up definitely has some parallels to both last season and canon...but as for how it'll actually play out, only time will tell. As for Cody and Amy, while it's true they wouldn't normally be the type to work together sometimes fate just has other ideas in store. At least they don't like each other. Regarding Scarlett (and Staci) not initially being picked up...well, in part it was because I just hadn't finalized my plan to do the other bonus scenes yet. But I think it actually works better this way - perhaps there had been a pair that had been assigned to pick them up only for them to escape beforehand (probably what happened though I haven't written anything to that effect). There's also the math to consider - 14 contestants plus 1 Staci leaves 22 remaining former campers. That means eleven pairs - exactly enough to pick up everyone this season except the finalists and first boot.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, that's pretty much it for Justin. There's some fun to be had with him, but it was time for him to step back and let the season's major players shine a little bit more. I'm actually surprised you didn't know the cottage was the Playa; there was a bit of a fuss over it when the episode came out. Well, on tumblr anyway. I'm glad you're still enjoying the Scott-Fang team-up, and I do really wish I was able to use it more and earlier in the season. Hmm...not much else to say, I think. This week's episode is fun, and I will finally confirm that the bonus clip stuff is leading up to the finale (though I haven't planned out exactly how it'll go down yet).

 **BuckJohnson:** Lightning a mirror to Duncan being intentional? No, not really. Duncan's was played much more for laughs and was treated as a decay he wanted to fight against, whereas Lightning's development was much just...a legitimate character development. Other than that, interesting thoughts and predictions. I hope you enjoy the show.

 **Star Saber21:** Well, Izzy may not think like most of the others but that doesn't mean she doesn't notice things. I'm glad you liked the toilet gag though. Anyway, I hope you like what happens next!

 **link9753:** Thanks! A lot of people expected Scott to play the thief last week, but that would require him somehow finding out that Justin had the idol. And since they hate each other, there wasn't much reason for that to happen. But honestly, Izzy having it opens up way more possibilities - it's Izzy, after all, and her methods are her own. Interesting thoughts as always, and I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

 **I. M. Poik:** ...yeah, no, it's not gonna blow up. Ever. The idol is still in play, at least. And as for those mysterious figures...well, they and much much more will be revealed soon enough...

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Yeah, Justin's not for everyone. I enjoyed writing him at least. And at least you liked how his elimination came about. As for Courtney...well, she has her plans, and she has her motivations. What becomes of them, only time will tell.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Eh, I think he lasted as long as he should have. He wasn't too exciting, but he had his role to play and he was an easy merge boot. But hey, you still enjoyed the chapter and that's what matters most to me. And yeah, Izzy having the idol could be quite dangerous...

 **wifishark:** Yeah, pretty much. He may not have been the most important player overall, but he played his role in the story and made his mark in the competition. Lots of things are gonna be coming up, that's for sure...

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Haha, well, I know it was a little off but I kinda liked it. And yeah, while Jasmine did have a reason to be mad at Shawn she just wasn't in the mood for it, given everything that had happened between them. I'm glad you liked my explanation for the 'cottage'; it just seemed like such an obvious thing to include even from the beginning of the season. I'm also super happy I've finally been able to do more with Izzy; her causing Fang and Scott to align was something I've been wanting to do all season whereas her causing Justin's elimination was more of a later idea that I happened to really like. I actually don't know if I'd have Amy and Justin actually hook up, simply because Justin has such incredibly high standards. Not much else to say, but I look forward to seeing your reaction to this week's episode!

And there we have it, folks, for this week at least. As I'm sure you all know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

The remaining players are, of course, as follows:

Boys: Lightning, Scott, Shawn

Girls: Courtney, Gwen, Izzy, Jasmine

Here we are, folks, at the fabled Episode 100. I hope you're all ready for what's about to happen...

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 9 – The Phantom of the Island**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris said, the capstone theme playing as the recap started off with Gwen and Courtney being approached by Lightning for an alliance as all three ran to the docks. "The teams were no more," the eight campers were shown reacting with shock to the announcement of the merge, "and it was a free-for-all race to the floating machines for a regatta to boat around Wawanakwa." Lightning was shown boarding his boat, as were Courtney and Gwen, and the clip of the icons circling around the image of the island followed after.

"But, some floated better than others," the host continued as the montage flashed to Scott's first boat of choice sunk with him in it, "for some reason..." Izzy was shown sabotaging the same boat, leading Chris to cough out her name. "And Chef supplied some _dynamite_ entertainment!" Chris added, his hulking assistant dropping a stick of dynamite that blew up Gwen and Courtney's engine.

"Thanks to a shocking alliance with _Fang_ , Scott won the challenge." The farmer was shown warily talking to the mutant shark circling his inflatable raft, then riding him on to Izzy's boat, then using that boat to cross the finish line. "Putting a thorn in the side of pretty much everyone." Courtney and Gwen were shown giving the farmer annoyed and suspicious looks, and Justin tried to pitch another idea to Jasmine, Shawn, and Izzy only to get yelled at by the former pair.

"And thanks to a little bit of treachery from El Maléfico," the flashback of Izzy picking the idol out of Justin's pocket was shown next, " _Justin_ was given the flush." The crossed-out photo of the model was revealed, he failed to find his idol, and gaped in shock and horror as he was flushed.

The recap ended there, the scene moving to the Dock of Shame. "Seven players move on," Chris said. "Soon, one more will be gone! Who will it be? Stick around and see! Here, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

An angelic chorus began as the episode opened on the spa hotel, the hour late and the lights inside all on. Scott was sitting shirtless in the hot tub outside, sighing happily as the camera zoomed in. "This is the _life_ ," he said. "Once I win that million dollars, it'll be all this all the time. And I can't wait!" he said, giddy with excitement.

The shot pulled back slightly as the elderly butler arrived and handed him a plastic cup with a lid and a straw in it. "Thanks, _servant_ ," Scott said. "Maybe once I'm rich I'll hire you to wait on me hand and foot."

The butler merely turned and walked away without so much as an acknowledgment.

Scott sniffed. "Whatever. He's just jealous that I'm _totally_ gonna win this season." He perked up just then, and the camera pulled back again to show Courtney walking towards him on the spa hotel porch, fully clothed. "Oh! Courtney, hey!" Scott said eagerly before catching himself. "I mean," he coughed, " _hey_ ," he corrected with what he thought was a suaver tone.

"Uh, what did you-" Courtney began to say as she reached the edge of the porch, looking like she was trying not to laugh.

"C'mon, join me!" Scott offered. "The water's nice."

Courtney's eyes briefly darted down to the hot tub. "...no thanks, I'm good."

"No no, I insist!" Scott told her, motioning to the water with a smile.

"No, I'm fine, really," Courtney repeated. "Besides, I, uh," she quickly thought, "I just ate. I can't go in the water for another hour or I'll get cramps."

"Really?" the farmer asked, raising a brow in confusion. "I thought that was just for swimming."

"No, uh, it's for hot tubs too. _Trust_ me," the ex-CIT told him in an insistent tone.

"Oh," Scott blinked. "Well in that case, just have a seat." He motioned for her to sit on the bare porch, which she reluctantly did. "Your eyes look real good tonight," he told her. "Both of them. In your face."

"Uhh...thanks?" Courtney answered uncertainly.

A flat note played as the two looked around and away in awkward silence.

xxx

"Look," Scott confessed angrily, "I don't have a _clue_ about how to talk to girls, okay? At least to get them to _like_ me anyway. And that's kinda the whole idea, since _apparently_ she doesn't like the whole 'villain' thing as much as I thought. But I _can't_ let myself get too soft," he told the camera with a harsh glare. "I'm the bad boy this season, and I'm _going_ to make it to the end. I'm just gonna do it with Courtney beside me," he said, crossing his arms and nodding decisively.

xxx

"Look," Courtney confessed calmly, "the only reason I'm doing _any_ of this is to help me and Gwen's chances of getting to the end. It's not like I actually _like_ Scott or anything. I mean come on, have you _seen_ him? I guess if you really squint he's _kinda_ cute," she considered, "in a...sloppy, rustic sort of way. Like a donkey wearing a wig. But he's not _actually_ boyfriend material or anything. I mean," she looked to the side in mild embarrassment, "I've never had a boyfriend myself, but I've seen enough of them to know what to look for."

"I'm just gonna string Scott along, make him _think_ I like him so he'll vote with me and Gwen," Courtney explained. "Then once he's outlived his usefulness, we'll get rid of him! Although," she rubbed her chin and pondered, "if Gwen gets eliminated, I can use Scott as a back-up plan and-" She froze suddenly, eyes wide with shock. Then, with a panicked grunt, she slapped herself on the face. "No! Stop that. Those thoughts lead only to betrayal, and you're _better_ than that, Courtney. You promised Gwen you'd stick with her no matter what, and you're not going back on that. It's Courtney and Gwen to the _end_ , baby!" she determinedly told the camera.

xxx

"So I says to the guy, 'Hands off the clod, pal, unless you want it in your _face_!'" Scott recounted to Courtney, the former CIT laughing awkwardly.

A few tense notes played as the scene panned over to the losers' cabin where Gwen was leaning against the porch railing, watching her friend with a distinctly annoyed look.

"Ooh, whatcha lookin' at?" Izzy said, suddenly coming up from behind and throwing an arm around the goth's shoulder Gwen jumped a little, but just gave the wild child a dirty look and settled back into irritation. "Your gal pal gettin' cozy with Scottie-boy in the spa hotel?" Izzy continued, using another hand to needlessly shield her eyes as she pretended to search the horizon.

"Looks like it," Gwen said grumpily as the shot cut in for a close-up. "After finally getting back on my good side after trying all season, I _really_ thought we were gonna be in this together, just the two of us, from here on out. But now she's off letting _Scott_ flirt with her. I know she's only stringing him along to give us a better chance at getting to the finale together, but still. It just feels _wrong_." A flat note played as her eyes popped open, and she put her head in her hands. "Aaaand I really shouldn't have told you all of that."

"Told me what?" Izzy asked, the camera panning over to show her digging in her ear with a finger.

Gwen gave her a look of blank disbelief. "Uhh...nothing. Just...not really liking Scott right now."

"Oh, me neither!" Izzy said excitedly, removing her finger and casually flicking off the bit of wax at the end of it. "He is like, _totally_ the worst person out here, like I'm not even kidding."

"Worse than 'El Maléfico'?" Gwen asked.

This seemed to stump Izzy, and she spent the next moment rubbing her chin in thought. " _Yes_ ," she finally said, "but not by much. Of course, it's mostly their different _kinds_ of evil, y'know? Like, Scott's all," she crossed her arms and sneered, mimicking the farmer's voice as she said "Heheheh, I'm gonna trick all you and make you do whatever I want!" She relaxed her arms for a second, adding "Whereas El Maléfico is like," she raised her arms menacingly and laughed deeply, "Mwahahahahaha! Chaos _rules_!"

"I... _see_...," Gwen said giving her an odd look. "So, uh," she smirked mischievously, "would 'El Maléfico' like to go cause some _chaos_ with Scott's hot tub?"

"Sí, sí!" Izzy said, hunching down and rubbing her hands together with a devilishly eager smile.

/

The scene flashed back to the spa hotel, Scott and Courtney laughing as a tense tune played and the camera zoomed in on the bottom of the hot tub. Izzy suddenly peeked out from behind it with a devious smile on her face, then darted around into a crouching position beside it. She sprouted an extra pair of arms and used them to silently pry a panel off a side unit, then rapidly messed with the wires inside it. A few seconds later, she replaced the panel and leaped away.

The camera panned up to Scott and Courtney, both apparently none the wiser. "So, are you _always_ this charming, or are you just doing this because you know you _owe_ me?" Courtney asked with a sly, slightly flirty, slightly mocking tone as the water in the tub began to bubble and steam.

"You're _always_ this charming," Scott answered with a dopey grin. "I mean, yeah, you are," he said quickly in an attempt to correct himself, "I mean, _I_ am." He flushed with embarrassment. "Is...is it getting hot in here, or is it just you?" he asked awkwardly, Courtney giving him an equally awkward smile as the water bubbled more and more. "I mean am _I_ hot...I mean the _water_...," Scott tried to correct himself.

Both stopped as the water seemed to near a boil, and Scott turned red. "The _water_!" he screamed, jumping out of the tub and running along the porch past a stunned Courtney, a noticeable patch of pixelization covering where his bathing suit should have been.

Courtney gaped in disgust and outrage. "You mean you were _naked_ this whole time?! EWWW!"

The camera panned back to the left and down, showing Izzy crouching back behind the hot tub with a grin on her face.

xxx

"Okay, was that _hilarious_ or what?" she asked the camera, her hectic leitmotif playing in the background. "Honestly, I'm _so_ gonna miss messing with Scottie when this is all over. He just makes it so _easy_!"

xxx

A deep note played as the static cut away to a shot of the camp from just beyond the Dock of Shame. The scene faded forward into daytime as a harsh trill played, and the shot cut to the camp loudspeaker as Chris announced "Challenge time! Proceed to the McLean Spa Library, prron-to!"

Another cut put the focus on the base of a tree as a large pair of booted feet landed with a tremendous thud. The camera panned to the right as a pair of grubby sneakers landed beside them, and the shot pulled back to show Jasmine and Shawn smiling confidently.

"So, what do you think Chris has in store for us today, _partner_?" Jasmine asked as the two survivalists began to walk.

"Hard to say," Shawn answered with a small smile. "Usually when he calls us somewhere specific its because he wants to explain the challenge there, but a library is _new_."

"Yeah, books don't exactly fit his _style_ ," Jasmine. "Then again, maybe the 'library' is just a name, like the Fun Zone."

"Good point," Shawn said. "Still, if it's in the spa hotel it can't be _that_ dangerous. There's gotta be something _more_ to it that he's hiding. This might be another one of those challenges where he locks us inside a room and drugs us with knockout gas."

"Uggh, I _hate_ it when he does that," Jasmine groaned.

"Just be prepared to wake up somewhere _strange_ with an ominously beeping device strapped to a limb," Shawn warned, pointing to his right arm.

"I hate it when he does _that_ , too," Jasmine added. "But still," she smiled softly, "I'm pretty sure the two of us can handle anything he throws at us."

Shawn chuckled. "Sure, as long as we don't say that to his face."

Jasmine snorted. "True."

xxx

"If I ever find myself trapped in the middle of nowhere with somebody tied to my back, there is _nobody_ I'd rather be tied to than Jasmine," Shawn told the confessional camera. "Strength, survival skills, incredible good looks, she's practically got it all! I am _so_ glad I was wrong about her gathering intel on me so her zombie-creating _masters_ can counter my apocalypse plans."

xxx

The scene moved to the loser cabin as Lightning emerged from the lefthand door with a frown on his face. As he made his way to the stairs, the shot zoomed in to his foot as the boards he stepped on splintered. With a startled scream he fell forward, landing with a puff of dust just off-screen.

"Aaah! Dang stupid _steps_ , always trippin' me!" he said angrily, the camera cutting to the ground to show him clutching his knee and giving the porch a dirty look. "Just be glad Lightning's got places to go, or he'd find an ax and chop you into _toothpicks_."

"Uhh, Lightning?" Gwen asked, emerging from the righthand door with a look of concern. "Are you alright?"

Lightning sniffed and looked away. "Why do _you_ care?" he asked as he stood up. "Oh, and watch your step."

"Huh-whoa!" Gwen said in confusion before tripping over the same hole Lightning had and falling forward. Lightning caught her with one arm, then set her down with a scowl. "Seriously, what's up with you?"

Lightning held his gaze for only a moment before his scowl faltered. "Sorry, girl," he said, "Lightning just hasn't been feelin' sha- _great_ lately."

xxx

"Lightning knows he shouldn't be thinkin' this way," the uber-jock confessed, "but part of him was hopin' that after bein' a real hero all season, the others would all wanna be in an alliance with him. But so far, he's got sha-nothin'! Heck, even Scott's got bossy girl, and he's _Scott_!" Lightning sighed. "Man, I just don't know what to _do_ right now..."

xxx

The 'Spa Library', as it turned out, was the monitor-filled control room Chris and Chef had initially taken shelter in during the nighttime challenge several episodes ago. Right now, however, the host was absent – the Final Seven stood before only Chef Hatchet, the hulking man holding a cup of coffee.

"Where's Chris?" Courtney asked, standing near the door between Gwen and Scott.

"Just hush up, you'll see in a minute!" Chef answered, taking a sip.

Lightning, in the middle of the group, looked thoughtfully at those around him before finally focusing on Jasmine. The survivalist noticed quickly, perked an eyebrow, and asked "What's up, mate? Something wrong?"

"Uh...nevermind," Lightning said after a moment.

A faint but reverent chorus and a triumphant drumroll suddenly rose up in the background, the scene moving to one of the monitors as it cut to static and then to a live feed of Chris McLean. The host blew a pink and green party horn, a similarly-colored party hat on his head. Behind him was a buffet table laden with various breads, meats, sandwiches, drinks, salads, and fruit, with a large four-layered brown cake with vanilla frosting at the middle of it.

"Welcome to Episode _100_ of Total Drama!" he greeted, confetti raining down on him as a trendy tune began to play. He ducked out of the way, revealing the 100-shaped candle at the top of the cake, and the shot cut away to Gwen, Courtney, and Scott exchanging bewildered and wary looks. "To celebrate," the host said, walking back in front of the table, "I have an extra-special 100th episode challenge." He paused to laugh, and the music shifted into a tense and ominous trill as the wolfish form of Staci rose up from behind the back-right corner of the buffet table. A distinctly nervous look in her eyes, she quickly darted back down then scampered off to the right and out of sight.

Chris finished laughing and took out a sheet of paper. "I hope no one is allergic to...rhinoceroses!" he read with glee. "Or fire. Or poison! Smallpox, gluten..." As he continued to read Staci rose up behind him, her breathing heavy but not enough for Chris to notice. Staci spotted the camera and gave it an extremely sheepish smile and wave before putting a finger to her lips to signal those watching to be quiet.

"Oh hey, look!" Izzy said, perking up excitedly from the front of the group while Shawn and Jasmine watched in horror behind her.

"...seborrhea, formaldehyde, terror, tree nuts...," Chris continued, oblivious to Staci slowly raising a sack behind him.

Shawn, Jasmine, Lightning, and Gwen all shouted warnings, while Izzy just gleefully cheered "Go Staci!"

"Please, _don't_ interrupt," Chris told them. "I'm-"

The music peaked sharply as Staci brought her sack down over him, the list of possible allergies floating down as he hit the ground with a terrified shout. "Sorry, please don't look for us," Staci quickly and apologetically told the camera before swiping at it with her claws.

It cut to static, and in shock Chef spat his mouthful of coffee at the monitor the feed had been shown on. A close-up showed the liquid dripping onto the keyboard and console below causing them to spark, and a dark and ominous tune played as the wall of monitors shut off one by one.

"Ah...that can't...aaah!" Chef stuttered in shock, dropping his mug below the table. "New challenge!" he declared, turning to the kids in a panic. "Find Chris!"

"You want us to hunt down _Staci_?!" Gwen replied in disbelief. "No way, she might be intelligent but she's still a mutant _werewolf_." She didn't notice Izzy's annoyed look.

"Hey! If no one saves Chris, there ain't no show!" Chef barked. "Which means _no_ winner, and _no_ million dollars!"

"Sha-what?!" Lightning exclaimed in shock.

"That's not fair!" Courtney added.

"Hold on," Shawn interjected, holding his arms out to either side and stepping forward. "We'll accept, but _only_ on the following conditions," he said, the music trilling tensely as all eyes moved to him. "One: whoever saves him wins immunity from the next vote."

"Two, they get permanent residence in the spa hotel for as long as they're in the competition!" Courtney quickly.

Shawn nodded at her. "And three: they get to pick who goes to Boney Island tonight," he finished calmly.

"Fine, deal!" Chef said. "Just find Chris!"

"Well, last season Staci was living in the _mines_ , right?" Jasmine asked thoughtfully, looking to Izzy and getting a happy nod of confirmation. "She might've taken Chris there."

"To the mine!" Chef declared, thrusting a finger in the air.

/

The footage flashed ahead to the caved-in mine entrance. "Huh," Shawn commented as the camera zoomed in to him and Jasmine, "looks like this place is still sealed up."

"Oh, that doesn't matter," Izzy told them as the focus panned over to her and Lightning, the jock now looking around with a confused frown. "There's _loads_ of entrances around here, she probably just took another way in."

"Then find it," Chef said gruffly, tossing flashlights to Izzy and Lightning. "I'm headin' back to the hotel to see if I can get the monitors workin'," he added, pointing a thumb over his shoulder as the shot returned to him, also showing Gwen, Courtney, and Scott holding flashlights.

Chef walked away, and the camera focused on the three that had been standing closest to him. "Well, I guess we better do this then," Gwen told them.

"Uhh, are you _sure_ you wanna come with us?" Scott asked, putting an arm around Courtney's shoulder's to her momentary and unnoticed irritation. "We'll cover more ground separately, and three's a _crowd_ anyway."

"Then why don't _you_ go off by yourself?" Gwen replied with a dirty look.

Courtney looked between them nervously. "No, we're all going together," she told them forcefully, shrugging off Scott's arm and putting her hands on the backs of him and Gwen. "That way we can watch out for each other."

She led her grumbling companions off to the right, and the camera pulled back to refocus on Lightning. He looked in the direction the three had gone, then turned his smile. "Hey, guys!" he called out excitedly, the camera panning over to Shawn and Jasmine.

"Alright, let's start looking over here," Shawn said.

"G-good plan...," Jasmine replied, trying and failing to hide her nervousness.

The shot cut back to Lightning as he pursed his lips in annoyance. "Well okay then, be that way," he muttered before Izzy walked by in front of him and he gasped in realization. "Of course, why didn't Lightning think of this sooner?" He ran after her, and soon caught up. "Hey girl, how'd you like to partner up with sha-Lightning on this one?"

"Oh, sorry Lightning," the wild child answered with a calm smile, "but I kiiiinda have other plans right now. Good luck with the challenge, though!" she told him happily before running away.

A few deep notes played as the camera refocused on lightning, and the jock scowled. "Dang. Guess Lightning really _is_ a team of one today."

/

Courtney, Gwen, and Scott were shown following a trail of footprints to a small cave. "Look! _This_ must be where Staci gets in and out," Courtney said.

"Whoa, we aren't actually going inside are we?" Gwen asked, beginning to panic.

"Duh, how _else_ are we gonna find Chris?" Scott told her.

"It's just that I have a phobia about getting buried alive," Gwen said quickly and frantically, "and the last time I was in the mines did _not_ help it like _at all_."

Courtney took her by the hand as her breathing became faster and heavier. "Shh, shh, it's okay," she told her friend calmly. "You're not getting buried alive. Just...think of it as a really dark hallway."

Gwen's breathing began to slow. "Just...a dark...hallway...," she repeated slowly. "Right. I think I can do that."

"Good, now can we hurry up?" Scott called back in annoyance, the two girls looking over to see him waiting impatiently in the mine entrance. "The others are probably half way to _Chris_ by now."

"Coming!" Courtney told him, leading Gwen forward by the wrist.

xxx

"Uggh, no _way_ am I gonna be able to get closer to Courtney while she's babysitting Chicken-Goth," Scott complained. "Guess I'll just have to find a way to mess with their 'friendship' instead. And maybe the others, too, if I get the chance," he said with a devious smirk.

xxx

The music became low and tense as the scene moved to Shawn and Jasmine walking across a hillside marked with holes. Shawn crouched down next to one, switched on his flashlight, and spent a couple seconds looking down it. "Hmm...wasn't there a nest of mutant gophers living around here last year?" he asked Jasmine.

"Err, yeah, why?" the tall girl answered, pacing around nervously.

"I think these are probably the remnants of their tunnels," Shawn explained, lifting his head and light to look at the other nearby holes. "We can probably follow them into the mine."

"Do we...have to?" Jasmine asked squeakily. "I can't _stand_ being in small, confined places." The camera cut to a close-up of her pacing feet. "I don't think I can handle going down another-" a dramatic and dangerous tune played the ground suddenly collapsed beneath her, causing her to fall screaming "-hooooole!"

"Jasmine!" Shawn shouted, jumping in after her.

/

The background score calmed down again as the scene flashed to Chef driving his jeep through the forest. "Why does this stuff always happen to _me_ ," he grumbled. "I swear, show just keeps gettin' worse and worse."

As he spoke, the camera moved behind the jeep to show Izzy clinging to its back with several arms, contorting herself to keep out of Chef's sight. A few ominous notes played as she grinned mischievously.

/

Another flash moved the focus to Lightning, who was now running through a shallow, rock-filled stream. His eyes lit up as he spotted something off-screen, and he smirked. "Alright, followin' this water paid off," he declared confidently, the camera panning ahead to show the stream running in to another mine entrance. "Sha-Lightning's comin' in!" the jock declared as he ran inside.

/

The scene cut to a dirty, misshaped sack as a furry hand pulled it away to reveal Chris McLean. The stunned though handsome host had been tied up with rope, and curiously his loose hair was sticking upwards. "Hardy-har-har, Chef," he laughed as he looked around in denial. "Yeah, you got me!" The music peaked as the camera zoomed out and flipped around, revealing Chris to be hanging above a large wooden pool of bubbling bright green toxic waste. The room was the very same one Staci and Izzy had lived in for a brief period last season, with the raised stone platform on the left with stairs carved into the side. On the right was a neat stack of empty waste barrels, and more surprisingly a forklift.

"...Chef?" Chris repeated more anxiously, quickly spotting his captor standing on the edge of the stone platform looking up at him. "Staci? Haha, hey there...," he greeted nervously. "Looking, uh, _good_."

"Oh, uh, thanks," Staci replied, rubbing the back of her neck nervously and not meeting his eyes.

"What, uh, whatcha doin'?" Chris asked her. "No offense, but this doesn't seem like something you'd ever have the guts to do on your own."

Staci scowled at him and puffed herself up. "Hey! I have _plenty_ of guts!" she countered. "Yah, and after everything you've done to me, why _wouldn't_ I wanna kidnap you?"

"Well said," came a familiar voice from the shadows as the music rose ominously. "You certainly do have the proper motivation to carry out this plot. Though was our guest _was_ right about one thing," she said as Chris gasped. The music peaked as the shot cut to a small, shadowy tunnel nearby, and the speaker stepped out of it to reveal herself as Scarlett – her glasses on but not hiding the light bags under her eyes, her hair tied back but still slightly frazzled, and a devilish if tired grin on her face. "You _aren't_ in this alone."

/

A few bats flew past the camera through a dark and cave-like tunnel, and the shot panned down to show Jasmine lying on the ground. She opened her eyes, looked around, and bolted upright with a sudden panic as the music spiked. "Shawn?" she called out frantically, grabbing her flashlight from her vest and turning it on. "Shawn, where are you!"

"Right here!" the scruffy boy answered, drawing Jasmine's attention to the left as he ran up to her with his flashlight already out and on. "Are you okay?" he asked, shielding the light of her flashlight from his eyes. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"No," Jasmine said, taking a deep breath and lowering her flashlight. "I think I'm okay."

"Good," Shawn smiled softly.

/

"Courtney, the hallway trick isn't working," Gwen said in rising panic as the scene moved to her, Courtney, and Scott walking through another tunnel. While the latter two had their flashlights out and on, Gwen was struggling with keeping hers from flickering.

"Well," Courtney said, turning around and getting the flickering light shone into her eyes, "just...take deep breaths while I try to remember how to help you."

Gwen complied, taking deep and heavy breaths as she continued to clutch her malfunctioning light. In second is cut out completely, and even though Courtney's was still on her she still screamed in panic.

/

Her scream came loudly over a wall-mounted speaker, the camera pulling back to show it in a high corner of the control room. "We got sound!" Chef declared, his eyes on the speaker as the fat east Asian male intern fiddled with a pair of cords on the ground and the opening drumbeats of the capstone theme played. "Now where's the dang picture?"

The intern pointed at the camera filming them, and the capstone theme began in earnest. "Oh, you want an _update_?" Chef asked it bitterly. "I got _no_ idea what Staci's up to, where Chris is, or where the kids are at!" The intern stood up straight...and Izzy poked her head into the room, a wide grin on her face. She flashed the camera a peace sign, and she darted away before either of the two men noticed her. "And I got no idea how we're gonna find _any_ of that out with the monitors on the fritz!"

The intern cleared his throat. "On Total! Drama! All-"

"FIX THE MONITORS!" Chef demanded over the zoomed-out shot of the campgrounds.

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

"Aaaaand, blow out the candle," Courtney said calmly, the episode resuming on a close-up of her finger. Gwen blew out a deep out over it, and seemed to relax a little. "Better?" her friend asked as the camera pulled back.

"Definitely," Gwen said. "Thanks."

"Don't thank me, thank Zoey," Courtney said. "I just copied the technique she used with Jasmine when we were down here _last_ season."

"I'll try to remember that next time I see Zoey then," Gwen said.

"Good. Now here," the ex-CIT said, exchanging the goth's broken flashlight for her own working one. "You take mine, and I'll try to get the other one working again."

A deliberately loud throat-clearing caught both girls' attention, and they turned to the right as the camera panned onto Scott. "Uhh, I hate to sound like a broken record," he said in annoyance, "but we gotta keep moving if we want one of _us_ to save Chris. You two wanna _win_ , right?"

"Well...yes...," Courtney said with a hint of hesitance.

"Maybe...I should just go back and wait outside," Gwen suggested. "I don't wanna slow you down."

"No no, it's okay!" Courtney said quickly. "If you go off alone I'm just gonna worry about you getting captured by Staci or something. It's better if we just...stick together, okay?" she said with a slightly nervous smile.

"If...if you say so," Gwen answered, and the two girls walked side-by-side to rejoin Scott. They passed him by, and the camera zoomed in to show him rolling his eyes before he followed along behind them.

/

"I take back what I said earlier," Jasmine said, hunched and trembling in fear as she followed along behind Shawn. "I'm _not_ okay. I just can't _stand_ being down here!"

"Wow," Shawn said softly, "your claustrophobia is...pretty harsh, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's been this way for as long as I can remember," Jasmine said idly as her eyes darted around the barely-illuminated tunnel. "And getting captured by Izzy and nearly _dying_ from radiation poisoning last year didn't exactly help things. To be honest, I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold out before I _really_ start panicking."

"You know, when _I'm_ feeling overcome by fear," Shawn turned and told her as a touching tune began to play, "I try to focus not on what _could_ happen, but what _has_ happened. You know, what I've done to prevent what I'm afraid of, and what I've already survived." Jasmine looked at him with silent interest. "And while I can't speak for the first one, I know you've survived a _heck_ of a lot just from being on this show alone. You're a strong girl, Jasmine," he said, taking her hand in his. "The strongest I know. You aren't gonna be taken down by some _tunnels_."

Jasmine let out her breath. "Thanks, Shawn."

"Felling better now?" he asked eagerly.

"Not about the confined spaces," she admitted. "But what you said was really sweet, and it's something for me to focus on."

"That's good enough," Shawn told her, and they walked off together still holding hands.

/

"Aww, you again? _Seriously_?" Chris griped, the scene flashing back to him hanging over a vat of toxic waste, glaring at Scarlett. "Don't you have anything better to do than mess with me all the time? Seriously, you're not gonna get your revenge for all the times you've been humiliated on the show. Just give it up already!"

"Hmph," Scarlett sniffed. "Big words coming from someone who's about to be dropped into liquid high-level radioactive waste, guaranteeing an end to the _career_ you've spent so long building up." Chris gasped in terror. "Although I suppose I _can_ give you partial credit for accidentally saying something nearly correct again," she continued with a mildly annoyed tone, taking her glasses off to polish them with a handkerchief. "For while it _was_ my idea to come here to enact our revenge on you, the methods to do so were decided by our...," she sighed, " _sponsor_."

At her cue a single, loud, and drawn-out note from a pipe organ echoed through the cavern, earning a gasp from Chris, an anxious look from Staci, and a dull one from Scarlett. The shot cut to the organ as a pair of stage lights abruptly switched on, illuminating the organist – a slender figure draped in a large black cloak with an elegant sheen to it, a hood covering their head. Their first note ended, and they turned their head slightly - just enough to look back at the others. The camera cut in for a close-up, showing smooth white skin, a haughty smirk painted red with lipstick, and a large white mask covering most of their face. They raced their hands, and began to play...

...very, _very_ badly. The shot cut back to Scarlett and Chris as the cringed in pain from the cacophonous, atonal racket, then panned over to Staci holding her ears down and whimpering.

"WHAT ARE YOU _DOING_?!" Scarlett roared over the 'music', covering her own ears as she stormed down the steps and past the vat of waste. "I SPENT EIGHT _HOURS_ LAST NIGHT SETTING THAT ORGAN UP FOR YOU, AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO _PLAY IT_?!" As soon as she reached the organist she furiously spun their chair around, putting an end to their awful playing while yelling in their face.

"Well excuse _me_ for wanting to give this the proper dramatic flair," the figure said in a very familiar female voice, standing up and brushing past Scarlett without so much as flinching. "Besides," she paused to look back at the evil genius, putting a well-manicured hand on her shapely hip and moving her cloak aside just enough to reveal the red dress she was wearing beneath it, "it's not _my_ fault you didn't tune that thing right."

Scarlett clenched her teeth and fists and began to growl, but the organist merely laughed and walked away. "And before you _try_ anything," she said, "keep in mind who _funded_ this little excursion, okay?" The shot cut back to Scarlett as she snorted and crossed her arms.

The camera followed the organist as she made her way over to the vat Chris was stilled dangling over, and smirked up at his scowling face. "Chris McLean, oh how _far_ you've fallen," she taunted. "Or _will_ fall, once I'm done with you," she added with a little laugh. "And to think, that little _pea_ brain of yours must have no _idea_ what's going on!" she added with an expression of mock panic. "Well then, allow me to reveal the mastermind behind your torment," she said, the background music rising dramatically as she threw off her cloak, the camera briefly showing it flying into the air before cutting back to the woman in the mask. "It's _me_ ," she declared vainly, "Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran!"

A flat note played as the shot cut back to Chris' continued scowl. "Yeah, I figured that out the moment you opened your _fat mouth_ ," he told her. "Though I should've _guessed_ you'd be too jealous to let a little serious injury, international humiliation, and losing any hope you ever had of getting another not-crappy job in the business slide."

" _Jealous_?!" Blaineley repeated angrily.

"You heard me," Chris shot back. "And what's with the crummy dollar-store mask, anyway? I thought you would've just gotten more plastic surgery to cover up any facial scarring you got from your little landing back in China. Not like anyone woulda noticed the difference."

"I'm not wearing this _designer mask_ because I _need_ to, you idiot," Blaineley growled, "I'm wearing it because _I_ know how to put on a _show_!" She tore off her mask, revealing her unblemished face beneath it, and threw it at him.

"Oww!" Chris said as it hit him in the face and fell into the bubbling goop below. The waste hissed ominously, and the backsplash spiked up high enough that Chris had to gasp and bend himself up out of the way. "Watch it!"

" _You_ watch it!" Blaineley countered, thrusting an angry finger at him.

Suddenly, a siren went off. The shot cut to a flashing red light mounted on the cave wall, then to Staci, Blaineley, and Scarlett in turn as they gasped. "Intruders in the mine!" Scarlett exclaimed, still standing by the organ. "Staci, go distract them so they don't find us!" she turned and said, the camera quick-panning over to show the wolfish girl tense and anxious.

"No wait," Blaineley interrupted, "bring them here, that's an order! We have that cage, remember?"

Staci hesitated a moment, then nodded and ran off.

The shot cut to Scarlett as she palmed her face. "This is _so_ inefficient..." she groaned to herself.

/

"So, you two are still on to vote out Izzy tonight, right?" Scott asked as the scene flashed back to him walking behind Gwen and Courtney.

"Well, yes," Courtney told him, glancing back, "but is it really the right time to be discussing this?"

Scott shrugged. "Hey, it's not like there's anything _else_ to talk about. We're just gonna be walking around until we find Staci or Chris, right? So why not try to make the most of it."

"Personally, I'd rather we stay quiet so we can hear if anyone's coming," Gwen said. "I don't wanna be the one who gets kidnapped next."

"True," Courtney considered, "Staci _does_ kidnap people pretty often. Plus she knows these tunnels better than any of us except maybe Izzy. Maybe we _should_ keep quiet in case she tries to sneak up on us."

"Pfft, Gwen's just letting her _fear_ get to her," Scott said dismissively as tense music began to build and a wolfish silhouette appeared on the wall behind them. "Trust me, Courtney, as long as _I'm_ around you don't have to worry about that _fleabag_." He closed his eyes and nodded confidently, and thus missed the shadowy figure of the very girl he'd said not to worry about dart silently between him and the camera.

"Yeah, I feel _so_ much better," Gwen said, closing her eyes in annoyance. By the time she'd turned her head to Scott and opened them up again, Staci had darted past her as well. "Seriously, what makes you think _you're_ gonna protect me and Courtney?"

She was answered by a sudden piercing scream, and both she and Scott gasped in alarm as they looked ahead. The perspective moved to ground-level, showing a single unlit flashlight lying on the ground. Gwen moaned in fright and inched away from it.

xxx

The goth spent the entire confessional lying on her side, hugging her knees, and gibbering in utter terror.

xxx

The scene returned to the control room, Chef overlooking the intern as he worked on his hands and knees under the main table. He pulled on a cord, and with a long electronic bleep the monitors turned back on.

"We got picture!" Chef said, pumping a fist excitedly. The camera cut in for a close-up of each monitor, showing Courtney trapped behind the bars of a well-made wooden prison. "What in tarnation is-?" Chef began to say before the focus panned to the left, showing Chris dangling over the pool of toxic waste with Blaineley standing by on the stone platform.

Chef gasped.

xxx

The hulking man spent the entire confessional lying on his side, hugging his knees, and gibbering in utter terror.

xxx

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh _crap_!" Gwen repeated, holding her head in panic. "Courtney's been kidnapped! I...I gotta get out of here before I'm next!"

She turned to leave back the way they'd come, only for Scott to grab her arm. "Uh, _no_ ," he told her, "we have to go after Staci. Then she'll lead us to Courtney _and_ Chris, and I- I mean _we_ ," he quickly corrected, "can save them both."

" _So_ not worried about Chris right now," Gwen countered, yanking her arm free. "And trust me, Courtney's _not_ in any danger. Staci doesn't usually hurt people, she just takes them places remember?"

"Then what are you so _afraid_ of?" Scott asked, his temper rising.

"I don't wanna get dragged down some cramped little tunnel to who-knows- _where_!" Gwen exclaimed. "I am _done_ being stuck underground. I'm gonna find a way out." Gripping her flashlight tightly in both hands, she turned and started walking away again.

Scott scowled. "Fine," he called out, the camera moving in front of Gwen as she paused and glanced back. "I'm sure Courtney will _totally_ accept that the person she spent so much time and effort regaining the trust of decided to just _abandon_ her like a one-wheeled tractor."

Gwen's eyes widened slightly, then she sagged sadly. "Fine," she said with a hint of reluctance.

xxx

"Hey, as much as I'd like to ditch Old _Fearful_ ," Scott told the outhouse camera, "I kinda need her around right now. I have no _idea_ where Staci went, but if she comes back then I'm pretty sure she'll go for Gwen next, and then I'll be able to follow her back to her nest or whatever."

xxx

"Okay, let's just...get this over with," Gwen said nervously, walking ahead of Scott with fear and panic still in her eyes. "Just get this over with, and then I can go back...," she repeated to herself, her eyes darting everywhere except where she was about to step.

"Outsiiiiiiide!" she screamed as she suddenly dropped, the camera pulling back to show her falling down a sharp slope.

Scott's brow shot up in surprise, then narrowed in frustration. He grunted in annoyance and disgust, then jumped down after her.

/

"Man, where is everyone?" Lightning asked as he ran through another mining tunnel. "Heck, where am _I_?" he added, apparently unaware of the muffled screams that were growing louder.

The music quickly grew tense as he entered a larger room, peaking as Gwen and Scott came sliding down and out from a nearby sloping tunnel. Their screams finally caught Lightning's attention, and he looked back just in time to see them crash into him.

All three were groaning in pain as the dust settled. "What the heck was _that_ for?" the jock asked, glaring at the other two.

"Yeah, Scott, why didn't you warn me?" the goth added with a panicked sort of anger.

"Hey, I'm not gonna hold your hand and walk you through this," Scott told her, "I'm not Courtney. You gotta watch out for yourself from here on out."

"Why am I not surprised," Gwen said bitterly, picking herself up and dusting herself off. "You probably just want me out of the way so Courtney will be forced to only rely on you!"

The camera cut briefly to a close-up of Scott as he smirked for a moment just out of Gwen's sight, then stood up. "Yeah, because you _totally_ care about her yourself," he said with heavy sarcasm. "You're not just using her wanting to be friends with you to get ahead _at all_."

Gwen gasped in shock and outrage. "That's not true, I _do_ care about Courtney!"

Scott snorted. " _Sure_ you do," he said as he walked past her to the right. "Hey Lightning, if you or the _traitor_ wanna stick with me, be my guest." He laughed, unaware of the shadow of Staci dropping down behind him...

The camera panned to Gwen and Lightning, the jock giving his former teammate a curious yet suspicious look. "I haven't betrayed _anyone_ , I _swear_!" Gwen told him in a pleading voice as the music rose up ominously.

Scott's scream rang through the tunnel, earning a gasp from both Heroes as they turned and looked with wide eyes in direction he'd gone.

/

The scene cut to the control room, then angled close-up of jock and goth still visible on the far-right monitor. Chef was now eating what looked like mint chocolate chip ice cream straight out of the carton, his eyes still locked onto the image of Chris on the middle monitor. The intern rose up from below the table and gave him a stern look, prompting Chef to say "What? I eat when I'm stressed!"

An odd note played as the intern ducked back down and the feed on the right monitor switched to Courtney and Scott in the wooden cage. A close-up panned from it to the feed of Chris, Blaineley no longer in sight. Suddenly and to a dramatic riff the host was lowered an inch, visibly startling the man.

Chef gasped. "Aww man, it's remote controlled?" he said before looking down at his heaping scoop of ice cream. "...we're gonna need more ice cream..."

/

"Impressive!" Blaineley said, now standing by the organ with Scarlett sitting on its chair. "You really did a wonderful job putting this thing together, Scarlett."

"Yes, I'm aware," the genius said tersely. "Are _you_ aware we could have already finished this operation? I could have been back in _Area 51_ by now. I have _experiments_ to attend to, O'Halloran, and I've already spent too long away from them as it is!"

"Oh, stop being a spoilsport and have some _fun_ with this," Blaineley told her with a dismissive wave. "You might _think_ you're more experienced with evil but let me tell you, honey, you don't survive in this business for as long as I have by being _good_."

"Or _timely_ , apparently," Scarlett muttered under her breath while the blonde looked over the organ keys.

A tense riff played as the camera cut to the nearby cage to show Courtney pulling Scott back to his feet. "Are you alright?" she asked as he rubbed his head. "What happened to Gwen?"

"How should _I_ know?" Scott answered irritably. "She wanted to bolt the moment you were gone. I don't know why you're even friends with her when she _clearly_ doesn't care about your safety."

Courtney frowned in concern. "I'm...sure she was just too afraid to go on. She'll...get over it, I'm sure," she said uncertainly.

/

The hollow drip of water resounded through the cavern as Shawn and Jasmine walked along an underground pond, still holding hands. "See?" Shawn said. "No mutant gophers, no cave-ins, no trouble at all! I mean, there's probably some blind _cave fish_ living in that pond," he said with a motion to the water, "but they're not exactly threatening."

"I guess," Jasmine said. "But I can't help but feel like I shouldn't be down here. Maybe it's the low ceilings?" she wondered, ducking under a stalactite.

Shawn chuckled. "Yeah, I can see that being a problem down here. Luckily we don't have to actually _live_ down here, we just gotta find Chris and then we can leave. No problem, right?"

"Yeah," Jasmine replied, still slightly nervous. She let go of her companion's hand to crouch down, and rubbed the ground with a couple fingers. Shawn squat down to inspect the floor as well. "Hmm...not much in the way of dirt, but it doesn't look like it's been disturbed recently," Jasmine said.

"No footprints, either," Shawn added.

"With the mutants out of the area, I guess nothing's been in this tunnel for months," Jasmine continued, both survivalists standing back up and looking around. " _Including_ Staci."

"That's not too bad, actually," Shawn said with a smile as the two continued moving. "This place is all connected, right? So taking a back passage might mean we can avoid detection long enough to find Chris."

"I sure hope so..." Jasmine said warily. Her brow rose in surprise suddenly, and she pointed forward. "Look!" she said, the camera quick-panning ahead to show a pair of man-made tunnels carved into the stone.

"Fork in the road, eh?" Shawn said as the two ran over. "Let's inspect one each, and take whichever looks more promising."

Jasmine gulped. "Alright," she told him, and the camera followed her to the further passage. It zoomed in as she examined one of the support posts, but a sudden sound coming from her left distracted her. "Shawn? What was that?" she asked fearfully.

The background music spiked sharply as a muffled cry rang out, causing Jasmine to gasp and run over. She soon stopped in her tracks, and the camera zoomed in on an abandoned flashlight as she cried out " _Shawn_!" in anguish.

/

"Lightning, please, just let me _go_!" Gwen said, struggling to free her arms from Lightning's grasp as the scene flashed back to them.

"Why, so you can go and get kidnapped like Scott?" the jock asked, causing the goth to pause. "You wanna stay safe, we gotta stick together."

"Sticking together didn't help us before!" Gwen told him. "Staci _still_ managed to pick Courtney and Scott off the moment we took our eyes off them."

"Hmm, good point," Lightning conceded with a thoughtful expression. "Luckily, Lightning's got just the plan to stop that from happening again."

"Uhh, and how-" Gwen began to say with an incredulous expression before the uber-jock grabbed her around the waist, through her over his shoulder, and ran off down the tunnel to the right. "NOT AGAIN!" Gwen cried out as the intense music peaked again. "LIGHTNING, PUT ME DOWN!"

/

The scene cut to the fat intern, emerging into a pile empty mint chocolate chip ice cream tubs. Another bounced off his head, and the camera pulled back to show Chef standing over him. "We're outta ice cream," the hulking man said with a hint of danger in his voice that was matched by the background score. "Total Drama will _not_ end at Episode 100!" he declared, pulling out the pasta-blaster he'd used last season and cocking it. He turned and stormed out of the room, leaving the intern to shrug helplessly at the camera.

/

Shawn was tossed unceremoniously into the cage, and Staci slammed the door shut before the other two captives could get out. The wolfish girl wiped the sweat from her brow, and Courtney helped the captured survivalist to her feet while Scott stood off to the side whittling a piece of wood. "Shawn, are you okay?" the ex-CIT asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he answered, rubbing the side of his head. "I don't really understand what's going on, though. Is that...," he peered off to the side, "Scarlett and... _Blaineley_?! What is going on?"

"Sorry," Staci said. "It's, like, really long story? Yah." She took a deep breath, then turned around.

"Wait!" Shawn said, sticking his arm through the bars, but it was too late – Staci had already run off. "Don't...hurt Jasmine...," Shawn said pitifully.

The camera quick-panned away from the captives to show Scarlett and Blaineley still loitering by the organ. "C'mon, Scarlett, let me try playing it again!" the blonde asked, trying to push past the seated genius to get to the organ's keys.

" _No_ ," Scarlett said sternly. "Every second we spend _not_ mutating Chris McLean makes it more and more likely for somebody to stop the plan."

"What," Blaineley scoffed, "you want me to do some _hack_ job of it? No way. Something like this needs the right _ambiance_. I'm not doing anything unless that organ gets played." She crossed her arms petulantly and looked away.

"You don't-" Scarlett began before growling. " _Fine_ ," she spat. "I'll play the organ and give you your 'ambiance', you just go tell Chris whatever pointlessly idiotic thing it was you came here to say. Just make it quick."

"Fine," Blaineley said. "So long as you don't dunk him until I give the signal."

"Fine," Scarlett said through grit teeth. The two women turned their backs on one another, Blaineley walking off as the camera focused on her accomplice. Scarlett cracked her knuckles, then began to play a slow, chilling rendition of the song that had accompanied her solo musical number back in season three.

The shot moved to Blaineley, pulling back as she arrived once more at the side of the toxic waste vat. She cleared her throat, the organ music quieted slightly, and she smiled deviously up at Chris. "Well, well, well. How the might have fallen. I bet you're wondering just what this is about, aren't you?" she asked him.

Chris yawned defiantly. "Not really. Like I said before, you're obviously just jealous cause you suck at this business and I don't."

Blaineley glared furiously at him, then took a deep breath and shook her head in a condescending manner. "Chris, Chris, Chris. How someone as _dull_ as you got a gig like Total Drama I'll never understand. You think I'm _jealous_ of you? Hah! It's time I let you know what you've _really_ done to me."

"Do you have to?" Chris asked in the tone of a child being asked to do a particularly annoying chore.

"Yes," Blaineley said dryly before clearing her throat and smiling. "You see, it all started when I was born. My mother-"

"Excuse me," Scarlett interrupted to Blaineley's obvious annoyance, the camera quick-panning back to the organ. "But do you seriously intend on recounting your _entire_ life story right now?" she asked with rising anger.

" _Duh_ ," Blaineley said as the shot cut back to her. "I'm a complex character, Scarlett. I have to explain my whole _life_ for people to understand where I'm coming from and sympathize with me."

"But that'll take _hours_!" Scarlett growled.

Blaineley shrugged uncaringly. "What can I say, stars like me live eventful lives. So just shut up and keep playing that organ."

"Actually, I think I have a _better_ idea," Scarlett said deviously before slamming her finger down onto the keys, producing a long and cacophonous note.

"Uhh, that's not...," Blaineley warily began to say before a rope suddenly shot out of the ceiling above her, coiled around her, and yanked her up alongside Chris before she could react. "...was it something I said?" she asked meekly.

Chris laughed at her, earning a glare in return.

"As you are apparently too much of a _child_ to comprehend your faults," Scarlett said with a calm, devilish tone to her voice as she approached with her hands clasped behind her back, "I'll explain this as simply as I can. You annoyed me too much, so I decided to take control of this operation as I should have in the beginning. But since you wanted to make this a show, I'll _give_ you one..." An ominous chant rose up in the background as she drew closer and closer, her grin widening with every step.

/

The music cut out as a flash took the scene back to Lightning and Gwen, the jock still running along and the goth still over his shoulder though now looking annoyed yet resigned. She was the only one to notice the sound of something falling, and looked up to see a few pebbles drop from a hole in the ceiling.

"Lightning! Watch out!" she cried out in warning right before Jasmine came screaming out of the whole and landed on top of them.

The dust soon settled to show a close-up of the jock as he coughed into his fist, then looked up and back. "Man, why does everybody keep crashing into the Lightning today? Is there some kinda sign on his back or somethin'?"

"Sorry," Jasmine said as she rubbed her head and stood up. "Shawn was captured, and then I was running around trying to find him, and then a hole just opened up beneath me, and I fell!" she explained quickly, terror obvious in her voice.

"Wait, _Shawn_ was kidnapped _too_?!" Gwen exclaimed in panic, still lying on top of Lightning.

"Yeah, I know, it all happened so _fast_ ," Jasmine said...right before the shadow of Staci came up behind her and slammed a sack over her head. The shot cut to a close-up of Gwen and Lightning as they gasped, only for Jasmine's bound body to slam down on top of them as they tried to get up.

"I'm really sorry about this," Staci told them genuinely, taking out a few more sacks and some rope as the ominous chanting rose up again.

/

"I'm comin' for ya, Chris!" Chef declared, driving through the woods once again with his bazooka strapped to his back. As the jeep passed the camera, the shot zoomed in to show Izzy clinging to the back of it once again...

/

A few deep notes played as the scene flashed back to a close-up of Chris and Blaineley hanging upside-down as the woman suddenly dropped and inch, both adults giving startled gasps. "No no no, not the hair!" Blaineley said in panic as the camera panned down to show her long blonde hair hanging just inches above the toxic waste.

"Well then, O'Halloran, do you have a counteroffer or do you need more incentive?" Scarlett asked smugly as the focus quick-panned over to her sitting at the organ.

"Th-three million!" Blaineley blurted out in a panic.

Scarlett cackled. "McLean?" she asked the hanging man.

"Three and a _half_ million!" the handsome host said quickly.

"Oh, so you _do_ know how to bid for your unmutated lives," Scarlett said with a wide and evil grin. "Here I was thinking I'd have to keep reminding you."

The sound of footsteps and heavy breathing caught the evil genius' attention, and the camera cut over to show a rather exhausted Staci dragging three large sacks over to the cage. "There," she panted, "I'm pretty sure this is all of them. Everybody I could find, anyway."

She opened the cage, throw her latest three captures inside as Shawn tried to escape. All four landed in a heap, and groaned. "Jasmine?" Shawn said in shock, pulling himself out of the pile and in doing so spotting his fellow survivalist's boot sticking out of one of the sacks.

"Gwen!" Courtney cried out, rushing over and helping her friend out of another sack while Shawn pulled out Jasmine.

"Excellent work, Staci," Scarlett said, still sitting at the organ. "Even if you never should've had to do it in the first place."

"Thanks," Staci panted, looking back towards the waste vat. "Hey, why's Blaineley up there with Chris?"

"Staci, help!" the blonde cried out.

Scarlett laughed. "Oh, don't mind her. I just thought it was time to put her in her proper place."

"Oh..." Staci said, her face falling into a concerned expression. The camera panned over to show all six of her captives standing at the bars looking at her angrily.

"Girl, why are you workin' with _her_ for?" Lightning asked. "She's totally sha-evil!"

"I know," Staci whimpered apologetically.

"So then what's the big idea?" Courtney asked in outrage. "Don't tell me _you're_ evil _too_?"

"No..." the wolfish mutant whined, beginning to fidget anxiously.

"Then why'd you kidnap us?!" Shawn asked, throwing his arms up.

Staci continued to fidget for a moment, biting her lips nervously, until finally she threw her hands down. "Look, I'm sorry okay? It's just that after Chris ditched me again I was pretty mad at him, so when Scarlett said we should get our revenge it sounded like a great idea! We never _wanted_ to get the rest of you involved, but then when Blaineley turned up and promised to give us money in return for doing things her way...yah, well, it all just got out of hand!"

"Wait, you're getting _paid_ for this?" Scott asked.

"Well, _no_ ," Staci tried to explain. "The money was just for supplies. But Blaineley _did_ promise to give me a good reference for a job in the industry."

"You went along with her plan...to help out your _resume_?" Gwen asked incredulously. "You do know she's a washed-up gossip show host, right?"

"It's not easy, okay?" Staci shot back with a mixture of desperation and anger. "Being a mutant, I mean." Her ears drooped, and a sad tune began to play. "It was better when I thought I was a werewolf because they're, like, _in_ right now. But once word got out that I was just a mutant...well, like my great-great-great Aunt Mable used to say, you can't draw water from an empty well. Yah, she was totally talking about jobs when she said that, and that's why she invented classified ads. But yah, like I was saying, I gotta take whatever help I can get if I wanna have a future."

Jasmine shook her head. "You can't count on people like Blaineley and Scarlett to give you the help you need," she said. "They'll just lie to get you to do what they want."

"Don't listen to them, Staci!" Blaineley called out, still dangling precariously. "Get me out of this and I'll give you whatever you want!"

She was promptly dropped another inch as the same drawn-out note was played. " _You're_ not in any place to talk," Scarlett said sharply as the focus moved to her. "Likewise, I'd like to remind the captives that unless they hold their tongues, _they'll_ be next."

"What?" Staci gasped. "Hold on, you said you didn't wanna involve them!"

"I didn't," Scarlett admitted casually. "But now that they _have_ been, I see no reason not to keep going. After all," she chuckled lightly, "it's not like they like or even respect the two of us. Why should _we_ care what happens to _them_? And who knows, maybe being transformed into some kind of horrible _mutant_ might finally teach some of them a little humility. Not to mention all the physiological data I could gather from them. You too," she added, "I'm sure you'd make _quite_ the interesting test subject for me back at Area 51."

"No!" Staci exclaimed to a dramatic spike in the music. "Maybe none of them like or respect me," she motioned to the cage, "but it's obvious _you_ don't either if you think I'd agree to that! I know my future isn't very good, but that doesn't mean I wanna be some...some _lab animal_!" she said with a ferocity that seemed to shock Scarlett. "And I don't wanna hurt the others, either! They were right, I never should've teamed up with you!"

Scarlett sniffed haughtily. "So what? You _did_ team up with me, Staci. You can't change that. Nor can you change what I'm about to do."

"Yah, we'll just see about that!" Staci countered as the music ramped up ominously, running towards the genius on all fours to the shock of the captive campers.

A close-up showed Scarlett smirking, and the camera pulled back as she reached over and pressed a single key on the organ. The music cut out abruptly, and Staci suddenly skidded to a halt in front of her former accomplice and bent over, clutching her ears in pain.

"Dog whistle," Scarlett explained smugly, still pressing down the key. "Although the similarities between you and an _actual_ canine are purely superficial, as I suspected your ears are still as sensitive as theirs are. You didn't _seriously_ think I would come unprepared for betrayal, did you?"

"Well, there goes our last hope of making it out of this with our wallets _and_ our looks," Blaineley commented as the camera cut back to her and Chris.

"I'm not giving up just yet," Chris said, taking a deep breath. "HEEEEEEEEEELLLPPP!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, a tense challenge tune rising up in the background. "I said, HEEEEEEEELLLPP!"

The shot pulled back and panned to the left as Chef Hatchet arrived on the raised stone platform. "Chris!" he called out, taking a few bounding steps forward to the edge of the rock and kneeling down with a growl. "Alright girlie, show's over!" he said, shooting off a blast of extra-spicy spaghetti.

The camera followed the pasta blob through the air, and Scarlett barely rolled away in time before it struck her seat and plastered it to the organ. "Guess again!" she countered, pressing a pair of keys on the far right end of the keyboard. The shot cut to the side of the organ as a panel slid open to reveal a small orange pistol. Scarlett grabbed it and shot it, forcing Chef to dive backward to avoid the purple-fletched dart coming at him.

"What in tarnation?" Chef asked, standing back up in shock only to get hit by another dart and fall back over in a daze.

"Tranquilizer darts," Scarlett explained, lowering her weapon. "Honestly, you people are so _easy_ to predict. And now that Chef is out of the way, there's nobody else to come save you."

"M-maybe the interns will?" Blaineley frantically said.

"Those guys?" Chris replied. "They can barely make a cup of _coffee_ , much less rescue me."

" _Exactly_ ," Scarlet said with a deviously smug grin. "Nobody. Left. To save you."

The shot cut to the captive campers watching in gaping shock. Shawn's eyes suddenly widened in realization, and the others looked at him as he suddenly grinned. "Not exactly," he said with renewed confidence. " _Izzy's_ still out there, and she knows these mines better than anyone."

Gwen's face lit up. "Yeah, you're right!" she chimed in as the others began to show similar signs of hope.

"Wait, you mean she hasn't been eliminated yet?" Scarlett asked in confusion. "I thought for sure she would've been an early boot given her history and psychological profile."

"Well guess again," Lightning said. "She's still around, and she's comin' for _you_!"

For the first time all episode Scarlett started to look afraid, bringing a finger to her chin in thought. "Blast, I hadn't accounted for her. No matter, so long as I have my tranquilizer gun I'll be able to take care of her just as easily as I did Staci. I'm not about to be outmatched by some _freak_."

The shadow of Izzy dropped down behind her, causing Scarlett to freeze. "That's _El Mal_ _é_ _fico_ to _you_ ," the wild child said, standing up and grinning darkly. The viewpoint shifted to the side as Scarlett whipped around and raised her gun, only to have both it and each of her wrists grabbed by three of Izzy's hands. A fourth punched her square in the face, the impact and recoil being shown against a radiant orange and green background.

The six captive campers cheered. "Quick!" Gwen said. "Let us out of here!"

"No, let _me_ down from here!" Chris interjected as the camera panned over to the vat, Blaineley nodding emphatically beside him while Chef continued to lay unconscious on the rock nearby.

The shot cut back to show Izzy now kneeling on Scarlett's stomach, holding each of her wrists and using them to repeatedly hit the fallen genius' face. "Hmmm...," Izzy thought, rubbing her chin with another hand, "nah. I really just wanna beat up Scarlett right now. I mean, she totally hurt poor Staci!"

"Izzy!" Courtney scolded in disbelief.

A sudden click caught the attention of her and the others, and the camera panned over to show a rather pained-looking Staci opening the cell door. "You guys can go now. Like, I'm really sorry for causing trouble again and stuff."

The six campers scrambled out without hesitation. "Finally!" Chris called out. "Somebody come save me already!"

"Sha-on it!" Lightning declared before the others could react, a triumphant tune quickly rising up as he grabbed Scott's knife to the farmer's protest, ran over and jumped on to the side of the vat, jumped off it and on to Blaineley's rope, then cut both it and Chris' as both swung to the left. The three fell with a crash, landing on Chef.

"Oww!" Chris complained. "Coulda been a little more _gentle_!"

"Yeah!" Blaineley chimed in, only to receive a harsh glare from the host.

"Well..." Shawn said, standing with the other mildly bewildered campers, "I guess that takes care of everything."

"I guess so," Courtney added, a sudden cackle drawing their attention to the organ, where Izzy was still playfully slapping a battered and groaning Scarlett with her own hands.

xxx

"For the record," Chris told the outhouse camera, "I would like to state that I, Chris McLean, was never afraid of that sad, pathetic excuse for an evil genius named Scarlett. Sure, it _looked_ like I was scared a few times back there," he shrugged, "but I was _fa-king_!" He pointed to himself with a smug grin. "I would say that _that_ dramatic performance is worth at least _five_ Gemmies."

He held up five fingers, but a sudden Scarlett-like cackle caused him to wince and shiver in fear. He ran from the outhouse with a cry of "HEEEEEEEEELLLPPP!", an ominous chant playing as Izzy leaned out from behind the small building to giggle in delight.

xxx

It wasn't the usual elimination theme that rose up over the traditional long-distance shot of the island at night, but rather a drumroll that opened into something much more victorious. "Lightning wins our never-to-be-repeated, or spoken of again, challenge," Chris announced. The seven campers were already seated before him, boys in the back row and girls in the front. Chef was by his side holding the end of the rope that was now tying a rather bruised Scarlett to Blaineley, and Staci was standing next to them free but ashamed.

"Though he didn't stop Scarlett, more importantly he _did_ save _me_ ," the host said with a wide and vain smile. "So, I'll honor the deal Chef made," he motioned to his assistant who rolled his eyes. "The spa hotel is yours, dude," he told the jock who pumped a fist in silent excitement. "Who's heading for exile on Boney Island?"

"Man, Lightning doesn't even _know_ ," the jock said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.

"I'll do it," Shawn told him. "I deserve it after failing to keep my guard up and keep me and Jasmine from getting kidnapped."

"Shawn...," Jasmine murmured with a look of concern.

Lightning nodded at him. "If you say so, dude."

"Now to find out who's heading home," Chris said, his smile undiminished as the triumphant music came to an end.

"Oh, there's no need for that," Izzy said calmly, standing up and holding out a hand to everyone's surprise.

"Uh, and why's that?" Chris asked as a metallic trill transitioned the background score into the usual ceremony theme.

"Well, it's obvious that I was gonna go home," Izzy explained with a strange smile and a small shrug. "I mean, nobody really liked me to begin with and since I refused to save everyone they'll vote for me for sure. I just figured I'd save everyone the trouble and volunteer for it, that's all."

Chris shared a wary sideways glance with Chef. "Uhh, okay, if you say so."

The shot cut to the other campers – Lightning and Shawn sharing a look of disbelief; Scott smirking; Courtney and Gwen looking away guilty; and Jasmine scratching the side of her head in confusion. "Hold on," Jasmine spoke up. "I wasn't gonna vote for you, Izzy. Me and Shawn were planning to vote out Scott."

"Yeah, and so was Lightning!" the jock spoke up as the focus panned back to him and the young man nodding next to him.

"...huh," Izzy said, rubbing her chin in thought. "So then if _I_ had voted Scott too, then he'd be going home?" The shot cut to the farmer in question as he suddenly froze in shock and fear. "Hey, can we do that instead?" Izzy asked the host.

"Sorry, but no can do," Chris told her, holding up a hand and shaking his head. "No take-backs on volunteering for elimination, it's in the rules. Nothing I can do about it."

"You change and ignore the rules _all the time_ ," Shawn pointed out.

"Yeah, but not _this_ time," Chris replied.

The music stopped as he opened his eyes slightly and nodded at Chef, who nodded back and tensed up. The three girls in the front row tensed up as well, arms raised to pounce, and Izzy was shown rubbing her chin deeply in thought.

"Oh well," she shrugged happily, causing those who'd been ready to jump her to recoil slightly in surprise. "My mistake I guess. I'll come quietly."

"O...kay...then?" Chris said hesitantly. He looked to the side, and Chef shrugged helplessly.

/

The sombre farewell theme began to play as the scene rotated about on its axis, transitioning to a zoomed-out shot of the Flush of Shame. "So...," Chris opened cautiously, standing with Chef, Staci, and Izzy next to the giant toilet, "this might be a bad _idea_ , but in order to prevent any clogging, we'll be flushing you ladies two at a time. Do the failed masterminds have any last words?"

He looked up at the bowl, and the camera panned over to show Blaineley and Scarlett floating in it, still tied back to back. "I'll get you for this, McLean!" Blaineley yelled.

"No you won't," Scarlett told her bluntly.

"For once," Chris said with a smile, his remote and umbrella already in hand, "I agree with Scarlett." He pressed the button, and the screams of their swirling descent came down from off-screen. He opened his umbrella, the back-splash washed over it, and he looked at the next pair to be sent away. "Ladies, if you'd be so kind?"

"Yah, just a second," Staci said sorrowfully, still dripping wet as she began climbing up the side of the Flush.

"And will the main Flush-ee be joining her?" Chris asked Izzy with mild annoyance.

"Yeah, hold on," Izzy said, wringing out her long curly hair before reaching in to her sarong and pulled out something small wrapped up in plain white cloth. "Hey Lightning, go long!" she hollered before chucking the object into the air.

The camera cut to Lightning standing with the rest of the Final Six on the shore. "What the?" the jock said, raising his arms and backing up slightly, easily catching the tossed package. "What _is_ this?" he asked in confusion, holding the item up to get a closer look.

"Don't open it until later, okay?" Izzy called out as he was about to unwrap the cloth, causing him to pause and the camera to pan back to her and Chris. "Just think of it as an apology for not teaming up with you today like I should have. Now get out there, have some fun, and win this for _me_ , will ya?" she said, winking flirtatiously and blowing him a kiss.

An odd note played as the shot cut to Lightning, looking utterly bewildered. He looked down at the object he'd been given, and the camera pulled back to show his expression mirrored on the other five remaining campers.

"Can you just go already?" Chris asked in annoyance as the shot cut back to him and Izzy.

"Rightio," the wild child said cheerily, backflipping all the way up into the toilet with an excited "Woo!" She landed with a splash next to a shocked and confused Staci. She shook out her hair, then pointed sharply down at the host and in a deep, overly dramatic voice said "El Maléfico commands you to push the button!"

"Yeah, don't have to tell me twice," Chris said irritably, unaware of the sound of an extra-deep breath being taken as he pressed the button. The shot cut back up to the bowl as the two mutant girls began to circle, and Izzy began to yell...

" _I HID THE IDOL IN THE SPA HOTEEEEEEEEEEEEELLL!_ "

Another odd note was played as the shot cut to the Final Six, their mouths even more agape with shock than they had been.

xxx

" _Izzy_? Had the _idol_?!" Gwen asked.

xxx

"And she didn't _use it_?!" Courtney added.

xxx

The third confessional featured Scott, slumped forward with his head in his hands. "Oh my God I just dodged _two_ bullets...!" he said, eyes wide with horror.

xxx

Chris cleared his throat as the shot returned to him, and the capstone theme began to play. "Yeah, not how I wanted to celebrate the 100th episode of Total Drama," he told the camera. "But, you can't say that wasn't _totally_ dramatic. Plus, I didn't become a horrible mutant," he pointed his thumbs at himself, "and that's most important. Here, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

Once again the scene lingered on the long-distance shot of the island, the music turning ominous before the camera zoomed back in to show Lightning standing all alone on the spa hotel's front balcony. "What on _earth_ did that girl give me," he muttered, staring at the cloth-wrapped item in his hands.

The camera focused on his face, brow furrowed in concentration as he unwrapped his gift.

A deep and ominous chant rose up as he gasped in shock, and the point-of-view shifted to show what he'd been given: one half of the invincibility statue, which had been cut clean in half down the middle.

The shot zoomed back out all the way to the full shot of the island.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene opened on a calm patch of water as Staci surfaced with a gasp, Izzy following suit a couple second later and a foot or two away. "Ooh, where are we now?" the wild child asked in excitement as she and her friend looked around.

"Newfoundland, if I'm not mistaken," came the dry voice of Scarlett, the camera pulling back enough to show her and Blaineley floating a little ways away, still tied together. "Though I can't even _begin_ to guess _why_."

"Who cares," Izzy said, "I've always _wanted_ to come to Newfoundland!" The shot cut outward to show a rocky coast in the background, a lighthouse standing tall on one of the rocks.

"Well I haven't," Blaineley groaned. "I'm already tired of being out here," she said, sinking slightly.

"Hey! Don't stop treading water," Scarlett said sharply, "a boat's almost here!"

As if on cue, a ship's bell sounded and a fishing boat pulled up between them."Holy _moley_ there's a lot of you," a familiar voice said, and the camera panned up to reveal Beth and Beardo looking over the side of the ship.

"Guess this is why Dawn thought we should rent a _big_ boat," Beardo added, leaning over and pulling Staci and Izzy out of the water.

Once the two mutants were safely on deck, their two saviors left to the other side of the boat. "Alright, upsie-daisy you two," Beth said in a scolding tone as she and Beardo leaned over and hauled up Scarlett and Blaineley by the ropes.

" _Finally_ ," the blonde said in relief as they were set down on the deck. "Now be a dear and untie me, will you?"

"No way," Beth said, Beardo crossing his arms and shaking his head as he made a sharp buzzer sound. "We have standing orders not to let _either_ of you out of our sights until we report back to base camp."

"Base camp?" Scarlett repeated curiously.

"You'll find out soon enough, _cheater_ ," Beardo told her. "Be glad we got the notion not to drop you in the ocean, mm-hmm," he rhymed. He bobbed his head to the beat, then began to beatbox to it as he walked away.

Beth, Scarlett, and Blaineley looked at one another. "For the record," the genius said, "I have no intention of seeking my revenge of otherwise harming anyone right now, not even Izzy. I've finally realized that it just isn't going to happen, and that I've been defeated. All I really want right now is to return to my lab, in Area 51."

Beth gave her a withering look. "Well too bad, missy, we've got _other_ plans." She walked away, leaving Scarlett in stunned silence.

The scene moved back to Izzy and Staci, the latter shaking herself dry like a dog then sitting down on the deck. "Wow, this is so totally lucky!" she said brightly.

"Yah, I guess so," Staci said hesitantly, drying herself off and sitting down similarly. "Hey, are you sure you're okay with what happened?" she asked her friend. "You shouldn't have been eliminated."

"Nah, it's fine," Izzy said with a dismissive hand wave. "It's what I was planning on doing from the beginning."

"Really?" Staci asked in confusion. "Because it sure didn't seem like it."

Izzy laughed. "What can I say? I'm like a _totally_ awesome actor. I gotta show you my 'El Maléfico' routine sometime."

Staci still just looked confused. "It was all an act?"

"Well _yeah_ ," the wild child said playfully. "Why would I bother ditching the challenge to hide the invincibility statue if I _wasn't_ planning on leaving? That's why I didn't bother saving anyone either."

"But...but _why_?" Staci asked.

Izzy sighed in a strangely content fashion. "Well, to tell you the truth I was probably gonna be the next one to go after Scott anyway. Even if I'd teamed up with Lightning I'm pretty sure the others would've just gone after me since I'm not that close to any of them. Besides, they all want the money _way_ more than I do. I'd have felt guilty if I'd stayed around longer."

Staci blinked, then looked down in thought. "Wow..."

Izzy laughed again. "Plus, I totally got to mess with Scott some more on the way out. I mean, how _freaked out_ has he got to be knowing how close he just came to being eliminated. I mean, he didn't even get the satisfaction of voting me out him _self_ , how great is _that_?"

She looked at Staci, who just gave her a stunned and largely indecisive look. "Haha, it's _pretty_ great," Izzy said, more to herself than anyone else. "But hey, I had a lot of fun! That's all I really wanted, y'know?"

She looked at her friend again, and this time Staci smiled and nodded. "Yah, I think I understand _that_ at least."

Izzy grinned. "Cool. Now onward, to adventure!" she declared, raising her fist as the camera began to zoom out.

"Yah, to adventure!" Staci mimicked.

Just outside the cabin of the ship, Beardo mimed pulling a hanging rope and made the sound of the ship's bell.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Izzy is...unique among the characters, I think. She has her own goals, her own motivations, her own thought processes, and these don't always line up with the other contestants - or even with conventional reality show strategy in general. While she does typically want to win, she wants to have fun as well. She very much does everything her own way, and on her own terms, and that includes being eliminated - notorious for her non-standard eliminations in canon and often her subsequent returns to the competition, she is in many ways the same here. If she has good reason to believe she'll be going home soon regardless of what she does, as the case was here, then why shouldn't she arrange it to happen to her liking? Why wouldn't she ignore a challenge she doesn't especially care about in order to set something up for a person she likes and who she thinks she owes something to?

Well, that's my thinking anyway. Feel free to criticize me over it; Izzy's been a pretty controversial character from the start so I won't be surprised if my method of having her bow out of the competition, especially when she'd finally started to get involved with the plot, catches me some flack. But I think it's in-character, is a suitable way for her to go, and leaves the story in an interesting place. Lightning has the idol, or half of it anyway, and as far as the rest of the cast is concerned he may as well have the only thing since he's the only one able to search the spa hotel for it right now. And that's assuming they don't think the gift Izzy gave him was the idol...

But yeah, an interesting place. I'd also like to point out that Fang will likely learn of Izzy's exit soon, he won't know that Scott had little to do with it. And with a little sweet-talking, Scott may just be able to keep Fang as an ally...  
Of course, I haven't actually written anything more between them yet, so who knows? The alliance is still a possibility, at least.

Let's see now...well, how about I talk about Scarlett, Staci, and Blaineley. Originally I was only going to have the first two involved; it's why the first bonus clip of the season was what it was. But then Animation Adventures mentioned Blaineley getting involved in a review, and I pretty much feel in love with the idea. As I hope I've shown, there's a lot of humor to be drawn from it.

It wans't discussed much in-story, but Scarlett and Staci's original plan is implied to be something like this: They come to the island in the middle of the night while everyone is asleep, kidnap a sleeping Chris ASAP, and mutate him before anyone realizes he's even missing. No need to get anyone else involved, no bothering with the prize money, just pure revenge before going back to whatever remains of their lives. But then Blaineley somehow got in contact with them, and sweet-talked her way into doing things her way in exchange for the money to make things go smoothly, and maybe a little career help for the forlorn mutant. Too bad things just didn't work out for them, eh?

I'm not really sure how well it functions as basically the end to Scarlet and especially Staci's character arcs. Scarlett's goals have shifted ever since she was captured at Area 51, while Staci is...well, despite her appearance, she's a human being with human needs. And from it, a bit of human desperation...but still with a conscience, and a friend in Izzy. I think she's come a long way from being the blabbermouth first boot of season one, but if you think otherwise then let me know.

For reference, the episode title comes from 'The Phantom of the Opera', though the resemblance between the plots is...light, at best. A visual reference with Blaineley's introduction, at least. I chose the name because, well, I couldn't think of anything better.

Anyway, I hope this episode lived up to all the hype inherent to it. It's something I've been looking forward to for a while, so I'm eager to hear all your reactions to it.

So let me know what you thought, and I'll see you all next week.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)

Izzy - (7th Place)


	10. Chapter 10 - The Obsta-Kill Course

**Author's Note**

Here we are, the final third of the season. It's pretty much all downhill from here, folks! More and more things are gonna be wrapping up as we approach the final episode, and I hope you're all excited to see how things turn out. But before then...well, you know the drill.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Thanks, I hope you like them!

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Glad to hear it.

 **DSX62415:** That's the ting with Izzy, I guess - it's hard to tell when acting ends and sincere belief begins. Anyway, I'm glad you liked my version of episode 100.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** You know, I think I only realized just recently that you're Sarcasm is a Habit. Hah, sorry for not realizing sooner. Anyways, I'm super glad you enjoyed Staci last week! I was a little worried, since she's always been a bit of a tough person to write. And while Izzy could have easily lasted longer in the game, she knew she wasn't gonna make it further than fifth place as idoling someone out would only just give the others more reason to get rid of her as payback. And I sincerely hope my plan for the bonus clips lives up to all the hype that I've been building for it.

 **moka evans:** Lol true, Scott doesn't have to deal with Izzy anymore but that doesn't mean he's out of trouble just yet. In terms of El Malefico over Mal, I've only written the former so I can't really say for sure who I like better from that perspective. Probably El Malefico, simply because Mal has so much extra baggage with him. I was very much happy to bring Scarlett back; it was something I've been looking forward to for a while and I think that in the right hands and with the right development a post-evil-reveal Scarlett has huge potential as both a recurring villain and as a source of humor.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Mm-hmm, and that uniqueness is what makes Izzy such an interesting and difficult character. And, of course, how could I ignore Gwen and Jasmine's phobias? Traits like those have to be used.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Haha, yeah, most people weren't expecting Blaineley, probably because she didn't do anything for revenge in canon. But after hearing someone bring it up as a possibility...well, it just struck me as a great idea, and a way to make use of her character one last time. And yeah, maybe it would've been better if Izzy had stuck around for another episode and helped get rid of Scott...but that might mean she wouldn't have been able to pull off her grand exit. Plus she wouldn't have gotten to be Flushed with Staci. And as for the idol in the spa hotel...well, you'll see soon enough what the others think of that. And regarding the finale...well, that'll come in due time as well.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Always great to hear! And yeah, honestly, I've been writing this season with a sense of finality in mind since it is, effectively, the last time we'll really be seeing the first two generations of Total Shuffled cast members. Sure, I might do other stories with them in the future...but that's still uncertain, and in case I'm not able to write any I would like this season to wrap up as much as I can with these characters.

 **FOWLKON:** Yeah, you've got it right about Izzy: you never know what she's up to, but she always brings the drama and excitement. Having her basically disappear for a good chunk of the episode was a deliberate attempt to invoke that feeling, as ditching a challenge to go back to camp with Chef just isn't something anybody would expect. And yeah, I think you (and a lot of other people) called Scarlett's return after the first episode, but I doubt anybody really expected how exactly it would go down. Scarlett, though a genius, isn't perfect and thus was too certain that Izzy hadn't made it that far in the game. And why bother really preparing countermeasures for someone you're sure won't be there? As for Area 51, I don't really have anything specific planned...she's basically just working on whatever top secret alien tech they've got stored there.  
Blaineley being an awful villain was, in part, exactly why I wanted to bring her back - she's far more humorous than threatening, but that would make for some excellent banter between her and Scarlett. As for Staci...well, she needed a nice and reasonably happy ending to her arc. Despite all that's happened, she's still human like you said.  
Not much else to say. I hope you like the aftermath of Izzy's departure, and what it means for the others.

 **TotalDramaPower:** As I've already said, most people weren't expecting Blaineley to show up but that just makes it better that I decided to make use of her one last time. And technically, while the others were getting captured Izzy was off in the spa hotel splitting the idol and hiding one half of it. She really only got to the cave at around the same time as Chef did. But even with being absentee for most of it, she still managed to steal the show just like how you said - beating up Scarlett and thus giving Staci the chance to free the others; volunteering for elimination; and her trickery with the idol. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you like what happens next.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Hey, with a series like this having bizarre episodes now and then is unavoidable. And Izzy only threw half of the idol to Lightning - the other half is, indeed, in the spa hotel.

 **bruno14:** Interesting thoughts as always; I'm glad you enjoyed Courtney helping Gwen and Shawn helping Jasmine, not to mention what happened with Izzy. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about this week's episode.

 **BuckJohnson:** Thank you, although I am a little surprised you didn't realize Scott was the main villain sooner. And no worries about the second review. And honestly, I'm gonna miss Shuffled once it's all over - it's been a big confidence-booster, and just plain fun to write. I'm so happy I've been able to give so many characters so much development (and I personally don't really think Dawn, DJ, and Sammy hogged that much time). Sadly, this series simply wasn't meant to last. It'll be sad to see it end later this year, but I think all of our lives will move on.

 **OMAC001:** Thanks! Yeah, Izzy's always been an oddball but that's what makes her so useful to have around as a character. And as for the hunt for the other half of the idol...well, I hope you like how it goes.

 **Animation Adventures:** Haha, I'm glad I could make you happy by including Blaineley. She really made the whole episode work, I think - just a touch of humor to lighten the mood and keep it from being just another Scarlett attack, not to mention how she helped the plot to happen in the first place. I'm glad you (and others) agree with the reasoning Izzy had for her actions, as it means I've been writing such a complex character well. The same thing goes for Staci as well, and to a lesser extent Scarlett. I'm glad I was able to pull everything off so well in such an important episode.

 **VIPGuest:** Hah, well I don't think you're alone. The controversy I was referring to with Izzy was more that she was in the season at all; her elimination has gone over surprisingly well. The bonus clips are leading up to something that'll happen in the finale, and as for OCs...well, they have their place. But obviously they need to be written well, especially if they're to be interacting with canon characters.

 **link9753:** Okay then, I'm glad you approve of how Izzy went home! The idol situation is certainly a bit tricky, and it was tricky to figure out exactly what I wanted done, but I think you and the other readers will find it acceptable. As for what else happens next...well, I hope you find that acceptable as well. Happy Birthday!

 **Glowing Insanity:** I'm happy you're enjoying them! Though it won't always be fun and games... But moving on, don't feel too bad about not predicting Blaineley, as most people didn't. By the way, who were you expecting it to be instead? Anyway, you're right in that Lightning looks like he'll be important this week, but as for how...

 **Guest:** Oh, that's okay (though I don't really recognize you since you're just an anon). But yeah, Izzy continues to do her own thing, ignoring the obvious route through the game to have a bit of fun before she decides to leave. And yeah, Scarlett's plan would have been better if she'd known who was still in the game, but unfortunately she never really was able to find out between her elimination and her return. As for Staci capturing Jasmine...well, with a girl that strong you have to attack her weakpoint, and Jasmine's weakpoint is her claustrophobia - thus why Staci put a sack over her head first.

 **Star Saber21:** Yeah, it sure was. I'm glad I was able to pull off so many surprises to make the 100th episode suitably epic, and its all thanks to Izzy. Well, mostly anyways. You're right in that she was satisfied with what she was able to accomplish; she had her fun with the game and the others, but now it was time to step back and let them have their fun as well.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Yup, but that unpredictability also makes her difficult to write. There is a method to her madness, and an art to writing her. Her motivations and desires and thought processes are so much different from most of the other characters, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything goes with her. She goes out on her own terms, and I'm glad you found it enjoyable. I'm super happy I was able to flesh Staci out so well, and make her so relatable. Ezekiel had his role and place in canon and was definitely pitiable like you said, but Staci, I think, is a character that I've been able to lift beyond that. And the distribution of boys and girls falling in line with the distribution of old cast and new cast wasn't as much of a coincidence as these things usually are with me.

 **I. M. Poik:** Why on earth would I want to blow anything up? I mean, explosions have their place in the Total Drama series, but I'm sure as hell not gonna use one to destroy something I want to keep around. Other than that, I'm not surprised that you were surprised, since it seems like everyone was surprised by the events of last week's chapter. And as for this week's batch of questions...well, you're about to find out the answers to them.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Ahh, well, while Amy is definitely Scott's type, I don't really see Amy returning his feelings. Anyway, congrats on being right about Blaineley being the third figure; I'm glad you enjoyed the duo of her and Scarlett. Speaking of, thank you for the praise regarding her; she's been a fun one to figure out and write, and I think it's absolutely in her character to admit a loss (eventually) and move on with her life. As for the US government...well, I think they figure Scarlett would be far more dangerous is she wasn't in their control. Besides, she's not the only genius working on the same alien tech for them. Regarding Staci...well, feeling for her is probably as much as I can ask with her.  
For the others...well, I'm glad you're enjoying them, and I hope you like what I have in store this week. Izzy, though, I'm really proud of. I think you've got something wrong, though - she didn't volunteer to eliminate herself because she thought the others would vote for her; in actuality, she intentionally didn't save the others to give them a plausible excuse to vote for her, and thus her a plausible excuse to 'think she was gonna be voted off'. Why bother? Well...in part to set up the revelation that Scott would have almost certainly been going, and in part to make them feel less bad about her leaving, I suppose. Regardless, she accomplished her goal of having fun and leaving on her own terms, while letting the others continue on. I don't know, Izzy's hard to describe sometimes. But...I think she and Staci are definitely on the short list to be a pair if I ever decide to cover RR. They're an interesting duo, and I think a lot can be done with them in the Shuffledverse.  
Not much else to say. I'm glad you liked my choice of Beth and Beardo for the bonus clip, and the episode in general.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Ahaha, yeah. That was probably one of the more eventful episodes to date. Staci's development is basically complete, at least in terms of this series; she's turned from annoyance to sympathetic victim but she's finally gained some respect and, as you said, a friend in Izzy. And yeah, Izzy was pretty sympathetic when it came down to it - the best she could have realistically achieved was fifth place with the idol, maybe more if she won some challenges. But that would've just made her feel bad as the others were forced to turn against each other, so Izzy decided to cut and run after a little bit of mischief, leaving on her own terms and with dignity like you said. As for who goes next...well, you'll find out soon enough.

 **Icetundra:** Thanks! Yeah, most people didn't see Blaineley coming at all. And you're certainly right that last week was the pinnacle Izzy episode, and I'm glad I was able to write her in a way that you enjoyed. And yeah, time has certainly passed quickly that we're already at the Final Six. I hope you enjoy the last few episodes of the season.

 **wifishark:** Well then, I hope I don't disappoint you.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Fair enough, I'm just happy you were able to review at all. I'm glad you enjoyed Blaineley and Scarlett's team-up; I admittedly had hoped to explain Staci's actions a bit more in-detail but I ended up feeling a little pressed for time. But I think what I was able to include was adequate - even if she doesn't want to be used, she doesn't always feel likes she has that much of a choice in the matter. Or something like that, anyway. Izzy remains as perhaps the only character that can get away with such strange actions - it's a necessary consequence of her having unusual motivations for a reality show contestant, at least in my interpretation of her anyway. Overall, despite a rocky start in writing her this season, I'm glad I decided to include her. As for the idol, and what I was thinking with splitting it up...well, I'll try to explain some of it in the post script.

And that, dear readers, places us once more at the cusp of a new episode. As you all know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

Likewise, the Final Six are as follows:

Boys: Lightning, Scott, Shawn

Girls: Courtney, Gwen, Jasmine

One of them is going to go home today. Who will it be, and why? You'll soon find out.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 10 – The Obsta-Kill Course**

"Last time, on Total Drama," Chris began alongside the capstone theme, the recap montage opening with a clip of Shawn and Jasmine walking through a tunnel together; it was followed by a clip of the host blowing a party horn as part of his initial televised celebration. "We celebrated our 100th episode with a few surprise guest appearances," Staci was shown scowling and arguing with someone off-screen, Scarlett emerged from the shadows, and Blaineley threw off her cloak and mask. "And, a kidnapping of the host-y kind," Chris added, most of the campers screaming out a warning before Staci through a sack over the handsome man.

"But I stayed strong," Chris continued, the next clip showing him screaming for help with Blaineley strung up alongside him, audio included. "Hey! Who put that there?" he objected, the clip continuing on to show Chef's arrival.

The host cleared his throat, and the montage flashed to Izzy clinging to the back of Chef's jeep as he drove away from the mine. "Izzy ditched the challenge to go set up something _sneaky_ with the idol she stole," she was shown leaning in to the control room, Chef and the intern inside it none the wiser. "While Shawn got closer to Jasmine," the survivalists were shown holding hands as they walked along the underground pond, "and _everyone_ got closer to Lightning." Gwen and Scott were shown crashing onto the uber-jock, as was Jasmine a little while after.

"Okay, someone is _so_ getting fired!" Chris said in annoyance as the clip of him screaming for help was played again.

"Chef is a stress-eater," the hulking man was shown eating mint chocolate chip ice cream straight out of the carton, the intern emerging into a pile of empties; "Scarlett stopped her sidekicks," the evil genius was shown stringing Blaineley up alongside the host, then using the organ-based dog whistle to incapacitate Staci; "Izzy stopped _her_ ," the wild child dropped behind the evil genius and later hit her with her own limbs; "Lightning saved _me_ ," the uber-jock was shown jumping up and cutting both Chris and Blaineley loose; "and Izzy flushed _herself_ ," the wild child backflipped into the Flush of Shame, ending the rapid series of clips.

Once again, the clip of Chris screaming for help played – but only briefly, before the feed cut to static. " _That_ is _it_!" the real Chris said, the camera pulling back to show him pulling a cord out the widescreen television cart now located in the spa hotel's massage room. "Luckily," he told the camera with his usual smile, "nothing gets me out of a bad mood faster than upping the 'oww' factor in a challenge. Stick around to see who goes down," he pointed at the camera, "right here! On Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

"TELL THE EDITOR TO MEET ME AT THE FLUSH OF SHAME!" he yelled over the long-distance shot of the island.

The scene cut to Chef sitting in the control room, the ending shot of the intro footage on the central screen. He turned it off, then snickered to himself.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

The scene opened on the spa hotel, the camera zooming in slightly before cutting inside to show a hallway in serious disarray. Paintings that had no doubt lined the wall had been taken down, drawers were left open in chests and tables with their presumed contents strewn about the floor, and even a potted plant had been dismantled, the ball of soil lying next to the upturned pot. The camera slowly panned along the wreckage to the right, eventually coming upon Lightning taking the final book out of a small bookcase, flipping through it quickly, then tossing it over his shoulder with an annoyed frown.

"Man, where _is_ that thing?" Lightning asked, putting his hands on his hips and looking up and down the hallway.

xxx

"Last night, Izzy gave Lightning _half_ of the invincibility statue," the jock confessed tiredly with noticeable bags under his eyes, looking at the item his hand then holding it up to the camera – the right half of Chris' face, divided right down the middle. "She said she hid the other half in the hotel, but Lightning's been searching all night and he hasn't found it anywhere! Man," he crossed his arms in annoyance, "why'd she have to go and make this so _complicated_ for me. If she wanted Lightning to have the idol, she shoulda just given it to him straight-up! None of this sha- _huntin_ ' for it..."

He huffed, then looked down and rubbed the back of his head. "Thing is, Lightning really does need it. Even though the others _say_ they're his friends, ain't _one_ of them's asked him to be in an alliance. Sha- _dang_ that's cold! In fact, Lightning's startin' to question what he's even been _doin_ ' out here this whole time. Has tryin' to be a hero been the right play? Or did it hurt his chances of finally winnin'?" He shook his head. "I just don't know..."

He took a breath, put his hands on his knees, and gave the camera a determined look. "But Lightning is _not_ gonna give up. He's gonna find that idol, and he's gonna go all the way to the endzone! He just has to figure out how," he faltered slightly.

xxx

"Let's see now," Lightning pondered as the focus returned to him and the hallway he'd just trashed. "Where have I not looked yet?" A second later he snapped his fingers in realization, then ran off.

/

A flash took the scene to a bedroom, the camera panning leftward across a series of beds that had had their sheets and pillows pulled from them. A few more paintings lay on and around them, and eventually the shot came to Lightning yanking the sheets off another bed. "C'mon idol," he said as he dropped the sheets and picked up a pillow, "if you aren't in the girl's bedroom than I don't know _where_ you are." Finding nothing in the case he discarded it, then reached for the portrait of Chris hanging over the bed.

A dramatic tune played as the camera cut in for a close-up of the painting being moved away, revealing a small hole in the wall containing a folded-up piece of paper, a bottle of super glue, and the other half of the idol.

"Sha- _found it_!" Lightning exclaimed in excitement, pulling the statue from the hole as the music turned victorious. The jock noticed the other items that had been with it, raised an eyebrow, and took out the note. "Congratulations on finding this," he read out loud. "I hope you had as much fun hunting as I had hiding. XOXO, Izzy." He raised his head, scrunching his face up in confusion and disbelief. "P.S.," he continued, "Scott sucks and I hope he loses."

Lightning snorted, then shoved the note in his pocket. "Yeah, so does Lightning," he said.

/

A few deep notes played as the shot flashed outside, Lightning walking down the steps of the spa hotel with a tired but content look on his face. Upon reaching the edge of the loser's cabin, however, it fell into confusion. "Hold on," he said, the camera pulling back slightly and panning rightward to show Jasmine sitting on the cabin steps eating a handful of blackberries, "what are you doin' here? I thought you lived in the trees."

Jasmine snorted. "Yeah, usually. But I've been at the edge of my seat waiting for Shawn to get back, so I came over hoping he'd be dropped off here."

"Lightning gets how you feel," the jock said with a knowing nod. "He wants today's challenge to hurry up and start too."

The survivalist smiled in amusement. "Err, that's not _exactly_ what I was thinking, mate. It's not that I don't wanna get the challenge over with too, but I was kinda hoping I could talk to him about something important before it started."

"Ohhh," Lightning said with a slow nod of realization. "Lightning gets it. You're gonna have some kinda super-secret _alliance_ talk with him. Hmph, in that case," he said, closing his eyes and puffing himself up, "Lightning will excuse himself."

Jasmine continued to look at him in amusement. "Wrong again, mate. I mean," she put a finger to her lips as she looked up in thought, "I suppose we _will_ figure out who we're voting for later on, but that's not exactly what I wanna do right now."

"Please, no need to hold back for the Lightning," the jock stopped to look back and tell her in an almost scolding tone. "He _knows_ he's the only one out here with no alliance buddy to talk to!"

"Wait, really?" Jasmine asked in confusion. "You're not working with anybody?"

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning told her, crossing his arms. "You and Shawn never asked, and the girls sha-turned me down to join up with that weaselly dirt-farmer instead!"

Jasmine frowned in concern. "Sorry, mate," she told him. "We meant to ask you, but I guess we just got so focused on each other we just never got around to it. I'm game for an alliance if you're still in the market for one, though I guess I can't technically speak for Shawn."

"Oh. Well in that case," the jock said with a mixture of surprise and hesitant excitement, "Lightning will just ask him once he gets back from Boney Island."

Jasmine laughed. "Well, you should probably do it _before_ I ask him out," she said with a light blush. "I don't think he'll have the time afterward."

Another odd tone played as the shot cut to a close-up of Lightning's now-stupefied face. "Hold up. _You're_ askin' out _Shawn_?" he asked incredulously, now walking back over to her.

"Yeah," she answered with a dreamy smile.

"We talkin' about the same guy, right?" Lightning followed up. "Is this the same Shawn that doesn't use the indoor shower cause he doesn't wanna get bitten by a zombie comin' outta the toilet?"

Jasmine just laughed. "Yeah, he's got his quirks, but they don't change how I feel about him."

"... _dang_...," Lightning said, his face stunned as he sat down next to Jasmine.

The camera panned away from them, the music turning ominous as the shot came upon Scott poking his head around the corner of the building. The camera shifted as he leaned back against the side wall, then slid down into sitting position with his head in his hands.

xxx

"Okay, am I seeing things," Scott angrily asked the confessional camera, "or did _Lightning_ just join forces with those two _survival junkies_? This is a _disaster_!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. "That five-armed _freak_ Izzy practically handed Jockstrap the idol last night, and I _need it_ on _my_ side. If El Stupido hadn't taken herself out, _I'd_ be the one sitting at home right now. Courtney and Goth Girl aren't enough anymore, and I can't count on winning every challenge from here on out, meaning an ally with the idol is just what I need to stay safe. The question is," he calmed slightly and rubbed his chin in thought, "how do I _get_ to that big lug without him or the others realizing?"

xxx

A high-pitched whine filled the air as the static cut away to an angled shot of the camp loudspeaker. "Attention maggots!" Chris announced over it. "Last one to the beach drops and gives me fifty! Hup hup hup!"

The shot cut back to Jasmine and Lighting as they both perked up in excitement. "Yes! Let's move!" Jasmine said, standing up and running off immediately.

Lightning moved to follow, but paused upon noticing the lack of action coming from the cabin. He furrowed his brow in confusion, then turned his head and called out "Yo, I'll be down there in a flash, just gotta do somethin' real quick!" He walked over to the door to the girls' side, a pair of muffled voices growing louder as he approached.

The shot cut inside the room to show the two girls facing each other down. "I'm sorry, I just don't trust the guy!" Gwen said quietly.

"I don't need you to trust _him_ , I need you to trust _me_ ," Courtney replied, her voice calm and level. "I can control him. As long as he thinks I'm in to him, he'll do whatever I say. He's not gonna try and vote you off right now, not if he knows how _mad_ it'll make me."

"But what if he tries something _else_ ," Gwen said, putting a hand on her shoulder in concern. "Something he doesn't _tell_ you about."

"Well...I won't let that happen," Courtney said, putting her hand on top of Gwen's. "I'll just make it clear that he can't keep secrets from me."

Gwen frowned and groaned lightly. "I guess, but I still have a bad-"

Just then the door slammed open, causing the two girls to cry out and grab each other in fright. "Yo, are you two comin' to the challenge or what?" Lightning asked as he walked in before freezing abruptly. The camera pulled back to show Gwen and Courtney still holding one another. "Uhh...," the jock said said awkwardly, "Lightning can see y'all are in the middle of somethin' important, so...sha-bye-bye!" he waved quickly before darting out the door.

"Wait, Lightning, it's not what you think!" Gwen called out frantically, chasing after him.

"Y-yeah!" Courtney added, following after with a furious blush on her face.

/

The scene flashed to Chris, now wearing his army helmet and sunglasses. Several people were panting heavily just out-of-sight. "At-ease, maggots," the host said, the camera pulling back to show the five non-exiled campers approaching in various states of exhaustion, with Scott in the front followed by Jasmine, Lightning, and Gwen and Courtney in the rear. "It's about time you got here. I was almost getting bored."

Shawn arrived just then, escorted to the end of the line by Chef Hatchet in his drill sergeant uniform. "Glad you could join us, Shawn," Chris told him. "You know the deal: last one _here_ equals push-ups _there_ ," he said, raising a finger and then pointing it at the ground in front of him.

"How is _that_ fair?" the scruffy survivalist protested. "There's no _way_ I could've gotten here sooner, I was exiled on Boney Island!"

"You mean," Chris whipped out his red megaphone, "I WAS EXILED ON BONEY ISLAND, _SIR_!" The booming order was accompanied by a military drumline, and Shawn remained unimpressed.

xxx

"Push-ups? No problem," Shawn said. "It'll be good practice for when I have to push myself off the ground when I'm running from zombies. Or...if they start popping _out_ of the ground, and I gotta get away quickly."

xxx

"Aaaand...fifty," Shawn grunted, a short drumline playing as he finished his last push-up and stood back up. "There, no sweat," he said, wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Listen up, worms," Chris said as the shot cut back to the other campers, the camera panning to the left to show Shawn rejoining them, "Chef's boot camp challenge in season one was _tough_." The perspective inverted to show the host from behind and between Lightning, Gwen, Courtney, and Shawn. "But this is season _five_ , and things are about to get a whole lot more _hurt_ -y with..." He smirked and pointed two finger pistols to the side, "The Chris McLean Obsta- _kill_ Course!" A short but grand theme played. "Patent pending," he told the camera.

The shot quick-panned over to a large field of tires, high columns with red flags sticking out of the top in each of the far corners. "To win this full-on race challenge and avoid getting flushed," Chris explained, "first, you'll have to conquer the ' _Fun Tires_ '." Another quick-pan to the right revealed a tall wooden slope with four ropes hanging down it – one red, one black, one brown, and one gray. "Get through them, and you're on to the 'Rope Slope'!" The black rope crackled with electricity, and the camera zoomed in on the brown and gray ones – the gray looked normal, while the brown seemed a little hairy. "Some ropes are less _reliable_ than others," the camera panned up to the top of the slope where the ropes were tied down, "so choose wisely. But," the shot panned to the left to show the red and black ropes, the latter clearly just a long and poorly-insulated power cable, "not _too_ wisely. That'll spoil the fun. For _me_."

A third quick-pan took the focus to what appeared to be nothing more than a long set of rust-colored monkey bars set up over a pond. "Next, the ' _Snapping Bars_ '!" Chris said in delight.

"Err, why are they called that?" Shawn asked nervously from off-screen.

"Oh you'll see," Chris answered before the camera moved from the bars to a seemingly ordinary meadow dotted with rocks and bushes. "Then, it's on to a pleasant run through the 'Duck and Cover'," the host continued. "Come out of _that_ alive," the shot cut back to him, "and you're in for a _real_ treat."

Scott scoffed. "Peace of cake," he boasted.

"Ohhh~hhhh," Chris said in interest, causing the farmer's face to fall in dread. "In that case..."

" _No_!" Scott yelled, gripping his head in panic.

"Everyone has to wear a heavy pack for the whole challenge!" Chris added happily to another drumline, the camera cutting to the campers as Chef wordlessly dropped six large brown backpacks in front of them. They immediately groaned and chastised Scott. "Abandon your pack," Chris told them, "and you'll face a _bruuutal_ penalty. Seriously," he laughed, "this is gonna be awe-some!"

The shot cut pack to the campers as they began to disperse, Courtney ushering a reluctant Gwen towards Scott while Jasmine and Lightning headed towards Shawn. "Good morning, Jasmine," the scruffy young man greeted. "You too, Lightning," he added with a nod to the jock. "Not zombies I take it?"

"Never have been, never will be!" Lightning boasted.

"What he said," Jasmine said with a small smile. "So, uh, how was your night on Boney Island?"

Shawn shrugged confidently. "Not too shabby. Thought I saw one of the _zombos_ once, but it turns out it was just a bunch of raccoons in a trenchcoat. Standing on each other's shoulders and everything."

Jasmine snorted and giggled. "Sounds like quite the night. There's, err, something I wanted to talk to you about alone," she looked over at the jock standing next to her with his arms crossed expectantly, "but first I wanted to know if you're fine with Lightning joining an alliance with us."

"Yeah, bro," Lightning spoke up. "Us three gotta stick together so those three," he gestured over his shoulder with his thumb, "don't pick us off."

"Good idea, I'm in," Shawn said with a decisive nod. "Now, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

A close-up showed Jasmine freeze suddenly. "Err, before that, how about you tell me more about last night?" she asked with a light blush, walking off to the left with him.

xxx

"I'm gonna ask him out, don't you worry," Jasmine told the outhouse camera. "I just...need a good run up is all," she said with an almost joking smile and a faint blush of embarrassment. "I can't just ask him out of the _blue_ , that'd be weird!"

xxx

The static cut away to Lightning walking back to the right, his gaze and a smile pointing back the way he'd come. Both faded the moment Scott came into view, a devious smirk on his face. "Well well well," he said quietly, "looks like _somebody_ just joined up with the weirdo lovebirds."

"Yeah, so?" Lightning replied tersely. "Tell the girls if you want, I don't care."

"Oh, I will," Scott told him. "But hey, I don't blame you. Guys like you need to find allies in a game like this, and those two are some pretty strong players. And hey," he chuckled, "I can tell they _totally_ like you, man. They're not using you at _all_ ," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Sure, they may not wanna take you to the finale with them if they can have their _lover_ instead, but I'm _sure_ they'll give a strong guy who's good at challenges like you a chance to beat them in the Final Three. In fact, unless McLean pulls a fast one somewhere along the line I wouldn't be surprised if the three of you made it all the way to the end together!"

The shot cut Lightning's mildly dumbfounded expression, then pulled back as Scott placed a hand on the jock's shoulder. "But hey, if you ever think you might want a little more on your side than just them, I'm sure that _someone_ around here has open ears." Lightning gave him a narrow-eyed and suspicious look, but he just walked away laughing.

xxx

"There, that should be enough to get some doubts started in that thick head of his," Scott confessed. "See, the thing with heroes is that they're so easy to predict. I wouldn't be surprised if Shawn and Jasmine really were gonna do all that stuff I said, especially if ol' _Brightning_ stuck with 'em. But now I'd be surprised if he trusts them enough not to get something a little extra going on the side," he snickered. "Lightning might've done a good job _playing_ hero all season, but deep down I know he's still that arrogant meathead that can't stand anyone being in charge of him. With a little bit more prodding, I think I can bring the old, villainous Lightning back out. After all," he grinned, "a tiger can't change his stripes. Or is it spots?" he wondered aloud, rubbing his chin uncertainly.

xxx

" _Tell me_ you just saw Scott talking to Lightning," Gwen whispered to Courtney as the focus moved back to them. "He's up to something, I just _know it_."

"C'mon," Courtney said dismissively, "he probably just wanted to see if Lightning was open to an alliance!"

"And that doesn't _worry_ you?" Gwen asked with a hint of incredulity.

"Why would it?" Courtney replied. "This should be good for us, it's another vote we can control."

Gwen sighed uncertainly. "I _guess_..."

/

"On your marks!" Chris called through his megaphone, the opening bars of a tense challenge theme playing as the shot cut to the Final Six lined up at the starting line. "Get set!" Chris said, and the campers got into running positions as he raised an airhorn. "Go!" he called out, blowing the horn.

The campers ran off, with the two closest to the host - Scott and Courtney - taking the early lead into the field of tires. "This is _easy_ ," Scott boasted. The camera pulled back to show his ally running along a few steps behind him...before a sharp and ominous jingle played. A wooden post shot up out of a tire right in front of her, causing her to slam into it and cry out in pain.

"Courtney?" Scott looked back in concern, the sharp jingle playing again as he suddenly fell straight down. "AAAAAAAAhhhoowww!" he screamed, the shot cutting outward to show him sinking into a tire with one leg still pointing straight up into the air. "My _foot_ is touching my _face_!" he complained, another wooden post and an oversized boxing gloves springing out of tires around him then retreating back inside.

"You dung beetles didn't think Colonel McLean would give you a straight-ahead challenge, did you?" Chris asked over a batter loudspeaker attached to a pine tree.

Gwen and Lightning were next, the uber-jock easily racing in to the lead. "Alright, sha-bam!" he said, leaping forward over an oversized boxing glove, only to be caught in a sudden jet of water that shot out of the next tire.

He cried out in alarm as he was tossed around on top of the geyser, while Gwen just laughed. "Good luck up there!" she called out jovially...just before getting launched into the air by a second geyser a few tires away. "Yeah, I kinda deserve this," Gwen commented.

xxx

"Me and Jasmine decided to hang back a little, let the others show us where the _danger_ is," Shawn told the outhouse camera. "Where they fail, _we'll_ succeed. I kinda feel bad about not telling Lightning," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "But the guy just ran on ahead before we could say anything."

xxx

The fast-paced challenge tune resumed as Shawn and Jasmine ran through the course, jumping over, stopping short of, and weaving between obstacles; they soon passed Lightning and Gwen as they fell back down from their geysers. "Heads up, beaver in three," Shawn called out to his partner, causing her to pause just long enough for a beaver to stick its head up out of the tire she was about to step over, bite at the air, and sink back down.

Jasmine continued moving without missing another beat. "Hammer coming up," she warned, her scruffy crush punching back a wooden mallet that had sprung up in front of him.

"Oh yeah, we are on _fire_!" Shawn said excitedly. "Are we a great team or what?" he asked Jasmine as they easily bounded past Courtney trying to pull Scott free.

"Totally!" Jasmine said, and the two high-fived as they ran out of the tires.

"Shawn and Jasmine are in the lead," Chris said as he drove up in the jeep with Chef, "and heading for the Rope Slope. This oughta be good," he said, clasping his hands in anticipation.

The two survivalists quickly reached the ropes and started to climb the two on the left – Shawn on the red one, Jasmine on the black one which unbeknownst to her was crackling with electricity. A close-up showed her pausing and peering closely at what she'd grabbed, and in a suspicious tone she asked "What kind of rope _is_ this?"

"What's the problem, Jasmine?" Shawn called down to her, now a few feet above her. "Get caught on something?"

"Oh, no, it's nothing," Jasmine looked up and replied, moving her hand further up and promptly getting electrocuted by the exposed wire. Shawn gasped, and Jasmine slid back down to the bottom with a short scream.

Chris laugh over his megaphone. "Oh man, I didn't think someone would find my favorite rope this quickly!" he said as Jasmine rubbed her right hand and scowled. "I call it 'The _Zapper_ '."

"You okay down there Jasmine?" Shawn called out in concern.

"Yeah," she called back up to him. "You keep going, I'll be back up before you know it. Just watch out, your rope's probably odd as well."

Shawn turned his head to the rope he was holding and sniffed it. " _Licorice_?!" he said in shock. "Who'd make a rope out of _licorice_?"

The shot cut back to the bottom before anyone could answer, and Gwen began to climb the brownish rope. She soon caught up with Jasmine, or her legs at least. "Hey!" she called out as quietly as she could while still catching Jasmine's attention.

"What's up, Gwen?" the giantess paused to ask.

"Listen, I don't trust Scott right now," the goth whispered, climbing up more to Jasmine's level. "He was talking to Lightning earlier and I think he's _up_ to something."

Jasmine furrowed her brow in concern. "Really? Thanks for letting me know then. By the way, make sure there's nothing wrong with your rope," she said before climbing up and away.

"My rope?" Gwen asked in confusion, moving closer to the one she was holding. She sniffed it, and recoiled immediately. "Uggh, what is thing _made_ out of?"

"Dog hair," Chris answered with a laugh from off-screen.

"Figures," Gwen muttered in disgust before climbing onwards.

The shot cut back down to the bottom as Scott and Courtney arrived at the base of the slope. "Hold on, was Gwen talking to Jasmine just now?" the farmer asked, casting a suspicious eye upward.

"Well, yeah," Courtney said, grabbing hold of the dog-hair rope. "They're just friends, I don't think it means anything."

"Hrmm...if you say so," Scott said.

xxx

"Gwen and Jasmine being all buddy-buddy isn't something I can take a chance on," Scott confessed. "Luckily, I think I can make that work with my plan for Lightning."

xxx

"Here, let me help you up," Scott told Courtney with a genuine smile, cupping his hands together to form a foothold. "Ladies first, as they say."

"Wow, that's...surprisingly gentlemanly of you," Courtney remarked. She stepped onto his hands, then pushed off his face to get even higher up the rope.

"Just...wanted to show how much I care," Scott said, his smile wavering and a sandal print on his face.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show Courtney about halfway up with Scott at the bottom of the electric cable. "What are you waiting for," the ex-CIT called down, " _climb_!"

"No worries, I'll be up in a country jiffy," Scott said as he began to climb...only to get shocked when he touched exposed wire moments later.

Back on the ground, Chris laughed from the safety of the jeep. "Oh man, two people in one challenge? I shoulda used The Zapper before!"

"Man, how's Lightning in last," the uber-jock griped as he ran past, still with bags under his eyes. "Dang tricky tires..." He quickly reached the rope slope, and chose to jump onto the licorice one. "Alright rope, don't you be breakin' on the Lightning now," he told it just before he came upon Scott.

"L-lightning, wait," the farmer wheezed, slightly smoking but still holding on to the poorly insulated cable. "I need to-" Though the jock paused to give him a questioning look, Scott was cut off by another surge of electricity.

"Tell me later, dude, Lightning waits for no one," the jock said before climbing onward.

A third surge of electricity hit Scott, and he groaned.

The shot cut back to Chris and Chef as the capstone theme began to play. "Will _anyone_ survive the Obsta-Kill Course?" the host asked the camera. "Will Scott become a human hot dog? Will I laugh no matter what? Yes to that. But, for all the _other_ answers, stay tuned to Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed on a shot of Shawn hanging from the rust-colored monkey bars, several angry snapping turtles floating viciously in the pond below. "Shawn is first to reach the 'Snapping Bars'," Chris announced from off-screen by way of megaphone as the scruffy young man crossed. "Followed by Gwen, and Jasmine!" The camera panned over to the start of the obstacles, showing Gwen hanging from the bars by all four limbs while Jasmine hesitantly sized up the ladder leading up to them.

A close-up showed a turtle leaping and snapping at the goth's foot, missing but causing the girl to yelp anyway. "So _that's_ why they're called the 'Snapping Bars'," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. " _Hilarious_."

"Umm, I don't think this is gonna work that well for me," Jasmine commented warily, the camera panning back to show her hanging from the bars...then panning down to show her boots hanging mere inches above the water. She swung forward, only for a turtle to snap on to her right ankle. "Oww!" the cried in pain, shaking her leg back and forth in a vain effort to dislodge the turtle.

It was then that Lightning arrived. "Alright, sha-catchin' up," he declared happily, jumping straight to the top rung of the ladder before grabbing on to the first bar...and stopping in his tracks. "Yo, what's the hold up?" he asked Jasmine with mild annoyance.

"Sorry, mate," Jasmine said, grunting as she kicked the turtle off her right foot only for a second to latch onto her left. "These long legs of mine aren't doing me any favors here."

"Oh," Lightning said blankly. "Well in that case, sha-Lightning's goin' _over_ ," he said, heaving himself up through the gap in the bars into a handstand on top of them.

"Good call, mate," Jasmine said, mildly impressed as her ally slowly hand-walked over the bars. With a dramatic tune over a close-up of her foot she kicked the turtles she'd accumulated back into the water, then began to haul herself up.

"Hold on guys," Gwen called out, giving both her former teammates pause. "This might sound kinda weird, but," she hesitated, quickly looked back nervously, then continued in a whisper, "I wanna vote out Scott tonight."

The brows of both Lightning and Jasmine shot up in surprise. "Hold on, aren't you and him in an alliance?" the uber-jock asked.

Gwen sighed. "Yes, but I don't trust him. He's only in it to get close to Courtney, and I have a bad feeling that if we let him stick around then not only will he mess with _her_ , but the rest of us too. I mean...Lightning, he was already talking to you, right?"

The uber-jock's face became thoughtful. "Yeah, he was..." he said, lowering himself into a crouching position on top of the bars. "And that's the thing with Scott, you never can tell what he's up to. And you never can be sure if what he's sayin' is really true or not."

"But I guess that just means it's an easy choice to eliminate him," Jasmine pointed out with a smile. "I mean, if we _know_ we can't trust him, then there's no chance of us falling for his tricks, right?"

"I suppose so," Gwen said. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't eliminate him."

"Sha-right," Lightning nodded. "Now you ladies would excuse the Lightning, he's got a race to win." With a confident smile he hefted himself back into a handstand, and continued on at a surprisingly quick pace.

To his surprise, he soon came upon a pair of hands holding on to the bars. "Whoa, what?!" he said in shock. "Dude, what are you still doin' here?" he asked Shawn, right before the camera zoomed out to show the scruffy survivalist practically covered in snapping turtles.

"Trying...not...to die..." Shawn said, his tone an odd mixture of pain, panic, and exhaustion. "Can't...hold on... Arms...too numb..." he said, the panic becoming more and more evident with each word. "Tell Jasmine...I laaaaAAAAAGHH!"His final word was cut short as, to a dramatic twist in the music, his fingers finally failed and he plunged into the pond below.

His screaming quickly alerted Jasmine, a quick-pan showing her perched atop the bars as well while a concerned Gwen still clung to them with all four limbs. "SHAWN!" the giantess cried in alarm, swinging down through the gap and into the pond. Her splash flung several angry turtles into the air, and the shot cut to a gaping Lightning as he yelped and stood on one hand to avoid his fingers getting bitten.

"Uh, Lightning's just gonna leave y'all to it," the jock said with a hint of nervousness before flipping back upright, running along the bars, and jumping down to solid ground with ease.

The shot lingered on the pond's edge as Jasmine soon trudged over carrying Shawn under her arm, both survivalists covered with swollen bruises. She got to dry land, walked two steps further, and collapsed.

"Haha!" Chris laughed as he and Chef arrived in the jeep. "Lightning takes the lead! While Shawn and Jasmine _might_ be out of commission."

xxx

"Lightning feels guilty for lettin' that happen to his allies," the uber-jock confessed, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. "But he figured that since Tall Girl's gonna ask Shawn out, maybe savin' him would help that along. Though now he's kinda worried he just hurt his chances of them takin' him to the Final Three, if they were even gonna do that in the first place..." he admitted, rubbing his arm and looking down.

xxx

The shot cut to Gwen, still hanging awkwardly with turtles trying to jump up and snap her. "Uh, okay, I guess I'll just keep moving then," she said before letting her legs swing back down from the bars. "Ahh! Hey!" she yelped after getting bitten in the foot almost immediately.

"Ohhh," Chris called back from the jeep via his megaphone, "and here comes Team Odd Couple!"

The focus returned to the start of the bars just as Scott and Courtney arrived, the ex-CIT supporting the farmer from under his arm. "Thanks for helping me get here," Scott said with a bit of a groan.

"Well it's not like I was gonna let you just stay there until you were _deep-fried_ ," Courtney replied, her tone slightly harsh as she helped him climb the ladder up to the bars. "Now get moving so we can catch up!"

"Believe me, I know," Scott replied, quickly starting to swing along with Courtney following behind and several turtle trying – but failing – to snap at his butt. "As far as I can tell Lightning's with Shawn and Jasmine one-hundred percent, so unless I win immunity it's _my_ butt that'll be on the line tonight."

"Well," Courtney told him as they continued onward at a steady pace, "maybe you can win the tiebreaker."

Scott scoffed. "Not against Zombie Boy or his girlfriend I won't, they're good physically _and_ they've got smarts. I almost can't believe I'm saying it, but my only chance of winning a tiebreaker is if I'm up against ol' Steak-for-Brains Lightning."

Courtney frowned, the camera briefly cutting to a close-up of her unintentionally kicking away a turtle as it jumped up at her. "But there's no _way_ Lightning didn't find the idol last night," she said. "If we try to force a tie between you and him, he'll just use it and get you out anyway."

Scott paused and sighed. "Well, if I'm gonna be going home tonight anyways," he told her sadly, "then I'd rather it be because of the idol. Then at least you and Gwen won't have to worry about it tomorrow," he looked back over his shoulder and told her with what appeared to be a genuine look of concern.

"Wow," Courtney smiled softly, "that's...actually really sweet of you, Scott."

"Just wanted to show how much I care," Scott said, turning back and resuming his crossing with a smirk on his face.

xxx

"Okay, I think I've figured this out," Scott told the outhouse camera. "If I act like I actually care about her little 'friendship' with Gwen, then Courtney will like me more and she won't find me so suspicious. I _need_ her on my side for my plan to work."

xxx

The static cut away to reveal Shawn and Jasmine getting back to their feet, still covered in bite marks. "Thanks for the save back there," Shawn smiled.

"You're welcome," Jasmine said as they began to run forwards once more. "Luckily it's only Lightning that's ahead of us."

"Yeah," Shawn chimed in as they entered the rock-and-bush-filled 'Duck and Cover'. "I wonder how he's doing?"

As they came upon a particularly large rock they received their answer, a blunt tone playing as the skidded to a halt and gasped in horror.

Lightning was kneeling on the ground, three blood-bloated leeches attached to his face. "Man, why's this stuff always gotta happen to _Lightning_..." he slurred woozily.

"Oh man, what happened to _you_?" Shawn asked his ally in shock.

The sound of Chris laughing over the megaphone drew their attention, and the camera, to the right. "Yeah, I kinda forgot to mention," the host said as he sat on another, larger rock. Chef was standing behind him with a multi-barreled leechball blaster at the ready. "This is Chef's _favorite_ place to unwind with some leechball target practice! So, you better duck, or you better find cover. Oooor you'll end up like _Lightning_ over there."

He laughed again, and Chef fired. The shot cut to Jasmine as the leech hit her in the face, earning a yelp of disgust. She quickly yanked it off, and to her surprise Shawn grabbed her by the arm. "Come on!" the scruffy survivalist said, pulling her along behind the next rock formation. A few moments later, the camera zoomed in as they poked their heads above it then quickly ducked back down as a round of leeches shot through where they'd just been.

"Okay, this should be simple," Shawn said as the viewpoint moved behind the rock. "Evading Chef in this terrain should be a piece of cake."

"For us, maybe, but what about Lightning?" Jasmine said, looking back to the right. "We can't just leave him there."

"Good point," Shawn said, looking in the same direction. "Tell ya what, you go on ahead and I'll go help Lightning."

"Got it," Jasmine nodded. The perspective shifted back to in front of the rock as Jasmine dashed out to the right, ducking under another flurry of leechfire, and Shawn rolled away to the left.

"And _Jasmine_ takes the lead!" Chris announced via his megaphone, the shot showing Scott running into the zone as fast as he could, with Gwen and Courtney behind him though closer to the camera.

The scene then moved back to Shawn and Lightning, now hiding behind a bush as the smaller young man hastily pulled the bloated leeches from the jock's face. The moment the last one was off Lightning shook his head rapidly and smiled. "Thanks, dude!"

"No problem," Shawn replied. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Sha-no problem," Lightning said confidently, the perspective shifting to the other side of the bush to show him standing back up and running onward.

"Wait!" Shawn stood and called out, groaning when the jock went out-of-sight.

Scott came running up behind him. "Heh heh, nice job man," he said in a sleazy voice, ducking down next to him. "I'm sure he'll _totally_ stay on your side once I'm gone."

Shawn gave him a wary and questioning look. "Uh, what are you talking about?"

The farmer snorted. "Please, I know darn well you, him, and Jasmine are gunning for me next, it's _obviously_ the best move you can make. And once you do it'll be you and Jasmine," the shot cut in for a close-up as he raised two fingers on his right hand, "Courtney and Gwen," he raised two fingers on his left, "and _Lightning_ will be in the middle." He slammed his hands into one another, and the camera cut back outward as he gave Shawn a mockingly impressed look. "With you helping him just now, he'll _definitely_ stay on your side. Heck, I'm sure he'll forget _all_ about how long it took you to remember he existed, or how Jasmine was out to get him for the first few episodes. Or how well he worked with Gwen and Courtney for a couple challenges. I mean," he laughed, "this is _Lightning_ we're talking about after all."

Shawn's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "So? The guy's changed."

Scott shrugged. "I'll take your word for it, man. But if I were you, I'd think carefully before deciding who to vote out tonight. The vote _after_ will depend on it." He stood back up and ran off, prompting Shawn to frown and run off as well, both dodging a few leeches fired their way.

/

The scene cut to a larger rock formation being pelted with leeches. Gwen raised her head above a smaller part of it, then ducked down before another volley hit the stone.

" _Seriously_? You think we should vote _Lightning_?!" Gwen asked Courtney in disbelief, the perspective shifting to show both girls in hiding. "Why? Wouldn't he be better off as an ally?"

"Yes, but the problem is he's already in an alliance with Shawn and Jasmine," Courtney answered. "If Scott goes home tonight, we can't count on Lightning to back us up tomorrow."

"I guess you have a point," the goth hesitantly conceded, "but what about the idol? He's gotta have it right?"

"Probably," Courtney admitted. "But if he does, that just means Scott goes home without a tiebreaker since they're probably going after him. And at least then we won't have to worry about the idol anymore."

"I guess...," Gwen said, her expression still uncertain.

xxx

"It _kinda_ makes sense," the goth told the outhouse camera, "and it'd probably work too since Jasmine and Lightning promised to vote out Scott. But I don't know if I can go back on my word to them and vote for Lightning...and believe me, that's not something I _ever_ thought I'd say when I started this season."

xxx

The music became tense again as Jasmine stood up from one set of rocks and bushes, looked around, then ran over and dove behind the next before a hail of leeches hit where she'd been. "Alright, almost there!" she said with a confident smile, standing back up and making a break for it...only to get her backpack snagged on the next large bush.

"Huh?" she said, stopping to look back at it and thus leaving herself open to Chef's next round. The leeches plastered the side of her face and arm, and she staggered back a few steps with a disgusted groan.

/

The scene returned to Gwen and Courtney as they hustled through the semi-open area, diving behind the next rock formation just before it was struck with leeches. "Okay, so say that we _do_ decide to vote for Lightning tonight," the goth said as the camera cut to the two girls crouched in hiding. "We'd need Scott to go along with us for the plan to work, right? And there's no way he's gonna want to risk forcing a tie with a guy who probably has invincibility."

"Actually, this plan was Scott's idea," Courtney admitted, briefly looking around the rock to see whether or not the coast was clear.

"Really?" Gwen asked in confusion. "That doesn't seem like him. He always struck me as someone who put self-preservation above everything else."

"I think he just really has it bad for me," her friend said. "He seemed surprisingly accepting of the fact that he was gonna go home soon anyway, and said he was okay with it if he could help me win in the process."

"...and that didn't strike you as the least bit suspicious?" Gwen asked, her confusion increased.

Courtney gave her a light scowl. "Look, Gwen, I know he's been a smelly, slimy jerk to everyone in the past, but I've never really had anyone act like this around me before and I don't wanna look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, the worst case scenario is that Lightning doesn't wanna work with us after we tried to vote for him, which puts us in the same place we would've been in if we'd tried to vote our Shawn or Jasmine."

"If you say so..." Gwen said uncertainly, following Courtney as she cautiously stood up and crept forward out of cover.

/

A flash took the scene back to Jasmine, now covered with a few more leeches though apparently undeterred as she finally tore her back free of the bush it had been snagged on. She quickly turned and held it up to intercept the next few leeches, then dove behind the next rock. The camera cut to follow, showing her as she began to pull the swollen parasites from her skin, but her efforts were paused a few moments later as Lightning arrived at a roll.

"Sha- _hah_!" the jock boasted. "Chef'll have to be faster than _that_ to catch the Lightning." It was then that he noticed his ally, and the leeches still attached to her. "Whoa, what happened to you? Need some help with those things?"

"No, I'll be fine," Jasmine said as she grabbed two at once and pulled them off with a grunt. "More importantly, where's Shawn? I thought he was with you."

Lightning gave her a blank look. "Good question," he said, looking back the way he'd come. "Lightning thought he was right behind him!"

Jasmine sighed, pulling off the final few leeches. "He must've gotten snagged on something like I did. You go on ahead, I'll go back and look for him."

"Uhh, you sure?" the jock asked quizzically.

"Yeah," Jasmine nodded. Lightning shrugged then ran off to the left, then the camera cut back to the opposite of the bush – catching the jock running off towards what was now the right, and moments later Jasmine standing up and running back the other way.

The camera followed her a little ways until she dove behind another rock formation, then pulled back to show another set of rocks a few yards closer to the camera. A dramatic note played as Shawn stuck his head up from behind a shorter part of it, looked around warily, then dashed off forward along the course.

Jasmine stuck her head up from behind her hiding place, and the camera zoomed in to show her frowning with concern as she looked back to the left. "I don't see him anywhere..."

Her frown became a scowl as Scott suddenly ran up to her, and both crouched down behind the cover. "What's the matter, looking for your little boyfriend?" he taunted.

"If you did something to him, I swear I'll-" Jasmine began to say in anger before Scott cut her off.

"Relax, Amazon. I'm pretty sure you just missed him go past," he told her.

Jasmine sniffed. "Well okay then. I'd say thanks, but I don't want you to go thinking you aren't gonna be voted out tonight."

Scott shrugged. "Hey, after last night's debacle I knew it was coming," he admitted. He smirked. "I'm a threat, and most of you losers can't stand that. I mean," he chuckled, "it's not like there's any _other_ reasons people might be okay with getting rid of me. Sure, the other girls are pretty tight with Lightning, Gwen especially, but it's not like they'd try to steal his _loyalty_ from you and Shawn or anything." Jasmine raised an eyebrow at him. "Heh. I mean, not to tell you how to _play_ or anything, but I gotta say getting rid of a guy like me who pretty much everyone hates is a pretty solid idea. No way that could go wrong, unless I somehow manage to win immunity today. And seeing how far behind I am, that's not exactly _likely_."

An odd, flat note played over a close-up of Jasmine looking slightly bewildered. "Well," Scott said as the camera panned back to him, "gotta run!"

He stood up, ran off...and promptly got snagged by a bush. "Uggh...," he said, tugging at his pack as Jasmine ran past him with a smile. "Aww, forget it, I'll just take the stupid penalty," he said, slipping off his backpack and running off again.

xxx

"Okay," Jasmine told the outhouse camera, a hand on her forehead as she thought deeply, "something _must_ be up if Scott's trying to pretend like he's okay with us voting him out. Did he get to the idol before Lightning or something?"

She shook her head lightly and sighed. "And even if we _do_ get rid of him, then what? I don't think Gwen was planning on getting Lightning on her side when she said she was gonna vote out Scott earlier...but if we go through with it, there's no way she and Courtney aren't gonna try. This might not be as straightforward as I thought..."

xxx

The music became tense as the scene moved to Lightning diving behind another rock. He poked his head up above it, and looked around in suspicion. "Hmm...no sign of Chef. He musta gone after the others, then."

Just then, Shawn skidded up in front of him. "Lightning? There you are!" he said upon noticing the jock. "I thought I'd lost you. Where's Jasmine?"

The jock raised an eyebrow. "Jasmine? I thought she was gonna go find you!"

Shawn stiffened up. "Aww man, I must've missed her. I better go make sure she didn't get shot."

He tried to run off, but Lightning quickly reached over and grabbed his arm. "Nuh-uh, no way dude," he said. "She can take care of herself, we got a challenge to win."

"I guess you're right," Shawn reluctantly admitted before continuing on with Lightning.

The camera followed alongside them, the two boys' becoming more and more confident as they ran...before suddenly skidding to a halt in shock. "Sha- _whoa_!" Lightning exclaimed, his voice echoing as an overhead shot showed a few bits of earth falling from the edge of a cliff to a river far below.

"Told you you were in for a real treat!" Chris said, the camera cutting outward to show him standing on a lower cliff at the other side of the river. A pair of lines ran across the chasm, tied to the trees high above the boys and running into the forest beyond the host. "This is it, maggots," he said as the tense music resumed, "the _final_ obstacle! All you gotta do is get to where I'm standing, _alive_."

"Seriously? How?!" Shawn asked in disbelief.

"Helloooo? Backpacks?" Chris replied, gesturing to his back.

The shot cut to Shawn and Lightning's packs landing on the ground, the two boys rifling through them as the challenge music resumed once more. "What the?" Lightning said, taking out an odd belt, a rope, an a helmet.

"We're ziplining," Shawn explained as the camera zoomed out, showing him already in his gear. "Which in hindsight I should've seen coming."

"Shawn!" the sudden voice of Jasmine called out, attracting both boys' attention as she ran up. "There you are!"

"Heheh, sorry, guess I got ahead of you somehow," Shawn told her with a sheepish smile.

"Well, no worries now I guess," Jasmine said, the camera cutting back to show her putting on her gear. "Let's get going."

They ran over to the edge of the cliff, and a close-up showed Lightning hooking his rope onto the upper line. "Lightning's goin' first!" he told his allies with a happy salute as the shot pulled back out, and jumped off with a whoop and holler.

The two survivalists looked at one another and shrugged. "Looks like an easy win for our side, then," Shawn said, hooking himself onto the lower line and jumping off with a cheer of his own. The camera followed him for a few feet, then lingered long enough to show Jasmine sliding down as well on the upper line.

The shot cut to Lightning sliding along with a smile on his face, and the camera pulled back slightly to show his allies behind him with Jasmine quickly gaining ground on the jock. A cut back to the cliff showed Scott, Gwen, and Courtney all arriving at the same time, the girls dropping their packs while the farmer scowled in annoyance.

"You didn't say we were gonna _need_ our packs!" he called out angrily to the host.

Gwen palmed her face while Courtney turned an annoyed look onto the farmer. "You _ditched_ your _pack_?" she asked in disbelief.

"Told you there was gonna be a penalty, bro!" Chris called out from the other side.

xxx

"Okay, so I had to hang from a rope by my hands," Scott confessed. "No big thing! Back on the farm, my cousins and me used to have contests to see who could hang off the laundry line the longest over a nest of fire ants! And _I_ mostly won," he said proudly before uttering a happy sigh. "Good times..."

xxx

The music started building as Scott spat on his hands, rubbed them together, then jumped up and grabbed the lower line. A deep note played as the shot cut outward in time to catch Courtney and Gwen zipping off, another playing as Scott began climbing hand-over-hand, and the music starting in earnest shortly after that.

"The race for last place begins," Chris said, now standing in front of a checkered finish banner, the two ziplines running through it, "as the race for _first_ is about to end!"

"Lightning looks unbeatable," the jock was shown zipping along comfortably, "but wait!" The jock looked behind him, first questioningly and then in shock as he noticed Jasmine approaching rapidly along the same line.

"Slow down, girl!" he called out to her.

"I don't think I can!" she replied apologetically. "I'm just too heavy!"

They both screamed, and moments later they slammed into one another and spun around together. "What the heck!" Lightning exclaimed as they slowed down.

"Sorry!" Jasmine replied as the music quieted slightly.

"Uhh..." Shawn said in alarm as he sped past them on the other line.

"Well what now?" the jock asked in irritation before the camera cut to a close-up of their ropes, now twisted together and straining under the combined weight.

"Nothing good..." Jasmine groaned just before the buckles attached the ropes to the line were forced open. The camera cut backwards as the two dropped with a scream into the river below.

The challenge music rose up again as the scene moved back to the finish line. "Lightning and Jasmine's epic screw-up takes them both out," Shawn slid past him and under the banner, "meaning _Shawn_ wins immunity!"

"Good onya, Shawn!" Jasmine called out from the water, Lightning floating beside her with a scowl on his face.

xxx

"Man, what was _that_ all about?" Lightning asked the outhouse camera with a narrow and distrustful side-eyed glance towards the door. "I know she likes the guy, but come on, she _better_ not have sabotaged the Lightning on purpose so Shawn could win." He huffed. "Lightning's really startin' to wonder if joinin' up with those two was really the right idea."

He paused, then sighed sadly as he sank in his seat. "And if he's bein' sha-honest, he just doesn't know what to think lately at all. Lightning hates to say it, but what Scott said to him before has been eatin' at the back of his mind," he straightened up and pointed at the back of his head. "If Lightning wants to win this, he's gotta keep his head on straight and do what's best for _him_. But at the same time, he doesn't wanna think the others are out to get him, and he doesn't wanna be the one out to get them!"

"They're his _friends_ ," Lightning finished, giving the camera a pitiful look.

xxx

The static cut away to show Gwen and Courtney zipping down past Chris, Shawn, and the finish line with a startled scream, crashing off-screen together as a tense tune built up.

Chris laughed. "Bonus ouchies! You can count your bruises while I'm counting the elimination votes tonight. Shawn's safe from the Flush of Shame," the scruffy young man frowned uncertainly, "so, who's going home I wonder?"

Shawn brought a finger to his chin in worried thought as the tense music became louder. Lightning looked at Jasmine in mistrust as they swam to shore, and Gwen looked at Courtney anxiously as she fluffed out her hair again, having taken off her helmet.

"He-llooo~oo?!" Scott called out, the camera cutting to him still hanging from the ziplines. "Little help here?" he asked, his voice echoing over a long-distance shot of the island.

/

The footage skipped ahead, showing Lightning standing glumly on one of the spa hotel's balconies.

"What's the matter?" came the nearly snide voice of Scott, drawing Lightning's gaze and the camera's focus to the ground below where the farmer was leaning against the trunk of a tree. "Trying to figure out who to trust? Because I'm sure I can help you there."

"Buzz off, Scott," Lightning told him. "Lightning ain't gonna listen to you tryin' to turn him against his friends."

" _Friends_?" Scott repeated, snorting in disbelief. "Do you really think they think of you that way? Because as far as I can tell, and for once I'm being totally honest with you, I just don't see it." Lightning raised an eyebrow. "Oh, sure, I bet they _like_ you, but who exactly are you actually _close_ to out here? All the others have somebody else they'd rather take to the end with them, nobody _wants_ to go up against you. Heck, I'd be surprised if you were even someone's _second_ choice!"

Lightning scowled. "He's Shawn and Jasmine's second choice!" he said.

Scott snorted. "As if. If they really felt that way then why'd they wait until after _I_ joined up with the girls to get an alliance with you?"

"Cause they were too focused on bein' in _love_ with each other!" Lightning countered angrily.

"Keep tellin' yourself that, man," Scott said, unimpressed. "I know you don't trust me, but rats like me can _always_ smell out their own. As far as I'm concerned, if you stick with the woodspeople you're only gonna get to the Final Four before they drop you for Gwen."

"Gwen?" Lightning asked in surprise. "What's she got to do with this?"

" _Everything_ , you idiot!" Scott scolded him. "She and Jasmine have been friends since the _beginning_ , that's gonna be _way_ more important to her than your little 'alliance'. And if Shawn's really got the hots for her, then he's gonna go along with whatever she says."

The uber-jock crossed his arms and shook his head. "No way. Lightning does _not_ believe you."

Scott shrugged. "Hey, if you wanna be sure, then just ask 'em to vote someone else out besides me," he said, beginning to walk away. "If it works, then you'll have your allies and I'll still be around as an easy elimination target."

A deep, tense note played as the camera cut in close to Lightning, the jock's brow furrowing in thought.

/

A flash forward showed the jock walking along a line of trees with a determined expression, the camera zoomed out enough to soon reveal Shawn and Jasmine picking fruit from a bush. "Hey yo," Lightning called out to them, the shot cutting in close as the two shared a concerned look. "We gotta talk about who we're votin' tonight."

Shawn and Jasmine looked at him in surprise.

/

"Okay," Chris said as the ceremonial theme began against the backdrop of the moonlit island. "I'm sensing a little _tension_ here tonight," he said as the shot cut to the campfire pit, enough of the stump seats having been removed in order to cause the Final Six to entirely fill up the remainder – two in back, four in front. The campers had divided themselves into their two main alliances, the losing three sitting on the left and the winning three on the right, the backrow occupied by Scott and Lightning. "So, it's time to air things out a little with a _vote_ ," Chris said with his usual grin.

xxx

"Here goes nothin'," Scott began, crossing his hidden photograph with a wide smirk.

xxx

Gwen was next, opening with a sigh and a shake of her head. "I gotta do it," she told herself before making her mark.

xxx

"Sorry Lightning," Courtney said next as she crossed out the jock's image. "No hard feelings, okay?"

xxx

"Hopefully, this'll be for the best," Shawn said as he cast his vote, keeping it secret from the camera.

xxx

Jasmine sighed. "I thought this was gonna be easy," she said as she looked at the two pictures in her hands. "I oughta just vote for _Scott_ like I promised Gwen. But if I do that," she added worriedly, "will Lightning still be on our side after what he told us earlier?"

xxx

"Come _on_ , Lightning, man up and do this!" the jock told himself, eyes clenched shut while he held up his marker and photo of choice. He took a breath, crossed out the photo, then opened his eyes.

His lip began to quaver the moment he saw what he'd done.

xxx

A few deep notes played as the ceremonial theme restarted itself. "With that, Shawn, Courtney, and Jasmine are all safe," Chris announced, casually tossing photos of the three behind him. "As for the rest of you," a split-screen formed showing Gwen, Scott, and Lightning all looking distinctly nervous, "well, one of you is going home tonight," the host said as the split-screen parted to show a close-up of him with his hands behind his back. "And just to make things a little more _interesting_ , I'll just skip the part where I narrow it down to two and go directly to announcing the _loser_."

The campers stiffened and gasped in shock. "Tonight's flush-ee is..." Chris said, the music rising tensely as he drew it out. The camera cut from a close-up of him, to Courtney holding a nervous Gwen's hand, to Scott anxiously biting his fingernails, and to Lightning closing his eyes and hanging his head in shame.

" _Gwen_."

" _WHAT_?!" both Gwen and Courtney stood and shouted in shock.

The camera immediately cut to Scott as he let out a silent breath.

xxx

"Okay, that was probably closer than I would've liked," the farmer confessed, "but it looks like it all worked out pretty much like I was hoping for. With Gwen out of the way without me voting for her and Courtney none the wiser about it being my idea, she'll stay on my side. Unless one of them fesses up about me giving them the idea, he admitted, "but I don't think they will since it would mean admitting that the big bad villain was able to trick them, And now _Lightning's_ gonna have to come my way too, either because he knows he'll need me and Courtney to break up the weirdo lovebirds, or because I'll guilt him in to staying on the path of what's best for him so that Gwen going home won't have been for nothing. Either way," he said with a devious grin, "I'd say I just got myself back on top of this game."

xxx

"But...but why me?" Gwen asked, still in shock as she looked at Courtney.

"I have no idea, honest!" Courtney said. "I voted for _Lightning_ like we decided on," she said, motioning to the jock to the surprise of him, Shawn, and Jasmine. "It was supposed to be a tie! Why wasn't it a _tie_?!"

Gwen sank to her knees. "Because _I_ voted for _Scott_ ," she moaned pitifully, earning a gasp from Courtney. "I'm sorry," she told her friend, "I thought the others were gonna vote for _him_ , and I couldn't bring myself to vote out Lightning because I thought we were still _friends_..."

At this Lightning started bawling. "Lightning's sorry!" he said. "He let Scott mess with his head even though he shoulda known better, and started thinkin' he should vote you out so he'd be safe later on. But the moment he made that vote Lightning realized it was the wrong one! How can you ever forgive him?"

The shot panned to Shawn and Jasmine hanging their heads in shame. "Same here...," Jasmine said, her voice full of regret.

"Yeah...," Shawn chimed in. "We let Scott convince us Lightning wasn't gonna stay in our alliance unless we voted _you_ out." He sniffed back a tear and a bit of snot. "And then Lightning came and said he was having doubts, and that he wanted us to vote for you so he knew we'd still be on his side after tonight. We _completely_ failed to avoid being manipulated."

"So did I...," Courtney added, looking down at her hands. "I should've listened to you when you said Scott was up to something, but instead I let him sweet-talk me in to keeping him around. This is _twice_ I've failed you as a friend now."

Gwen sighed, and shook her head. "I can't be too mad at any of you, not when _I_ almost fell for Scott's tricks too. Besides," she said, opening her eyes fiercely and standing up. "I'm way more mad at _Scott_ for causing all of this in the first place."

The shot cut to the young man in question, a dull note playing as he laughed nervously and his eyes darted around to the angry faces glaring at him.

"Well, be that as it may," Chris interrupted, drawing all attention back to him, "a vote's a vote. Gwen's going home, and Shawn's got a night in the spa hotel with Lightning, aaaand the person of his choice."

All eyes moved to Shawn. "Uhh...," he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, "normally I'd go with Jasmine, but since I don't think either of us are actually gonna sleep in there I think _Courtney_ could use it more." He looked at Jasmine, who gave him a small nod. They in turn looked over at Courtney, who simply sat back down with her arms crossed and her mouth trying not to tremble.

"Gotcha," Chris said. "I'd ask who you wanna send to Boney Island, but I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Scott."

"Try not to _live through the night_ ," Courtney turned and told her former ally with a bitter hatred in her voice.

"H-hey," Scott said nervously, "everything I did was for _us_."

Courtney grabbed him by the collar and pulled him dangerously close. "There never _was_ any ' _us_ '," she hissed venomously. "I only went along with your ridiculous _flirting_ because I thought you'd be useful to me and Gwen. _Clearly_ , I was mistaken."

Scott just let out a pair of terrified laughs.

/

The somber farewell theme began to play as the scene rotated into Gwen floating in the Flush of Shame, a look of resignation on her face. "I hate to go out on this kind of note again," she said, "but Courtney, you'd better kick Scott's butt and win this thing for me, okay?"

"Don't worry," Courtney said, close to tears as she watched from the shore, "I will."

Chris pressed the button on his remote, and Gwen was flushed with a scream. "Will Courtney _actually_ fulfill the promise she just made?" he asked the camera as the capstone theme began to play. "Or will somebody _else_ get to Scott first? Find out next time, when the Final Five," he held up five fingers, "become the Fortunate _Four_ ," he lowered one of them, "on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene opened up on what looked like a large sewer pipe jutting out into what looked like a large lake or pond. The pipe began to rumble ominously, and a few metallic clangs heralded a torrent of water rushing out of it, Gwen just visible getting swept along.

"Uggh, Chris!" she coughed and spluttered in anger, the shot cutting to a close-up as she resurfaced in calmer waters. "This is _so_ not what I needed right now..."

"Is _this_ any better?" a calm, smooth, and familiar voice asked as a few ripples past through the water and around Gwen. Her eyes went wide, and she smiled as a white-skinned hand was lowered next to her.

She took it eagerly, and the shot cut to Trent pulling her up onto the back of a large, somewhat strange-looking swan-shaped boat. "Kind of," she told him, and the two embraced as the boat began to move.

"Haha, here," he told her as they broke apart, handing her a towel. "Dry off, and tell me what happened."

"Sure," Gwen replied as she began to towel herself off. "Well, I got eliminated, obviously, but at least it wasn't really Courtney's fault this time, so much as it was _all_ of ours."

"Really," Trent said, raising a brow.

"What can I say, we let Scott get to us," Gwen said. She sighed. "Really wish I could've made it to the end, though. I think I could've won."

"I _know_ you could've," Trent told his girlfriend. "But hey, maybe you'll be able to show what you've got next time. If there _is_ a next time, anyway."

Gwen laughed. "Yeah, if." They looked into one another's eyes for a moment, before Gwen broke the gaze and looked at the water. "Hey, who's driving this thing anyway?"

Trent just smirked and gestured behind him, the camera cutting to show a panel in the 'back' of the swan. It slid open, revealing the smiling face of Sammy. "Sorry, don't mind me," the nice twin said. "Just...here to give you two a nice ride through Central Park together..."

She slid the panel shut, and the camera panned back to Trent and Gwen. "Well then, how about a little music?" Trent asked, picking up his guitar from the deck of the boat.

Gwen smiled. "I think I'd like that."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And thus falls Gwen, taken before her time once more. The elimination in this episode (and the next) were tough to figure out; for some time I wasn't sure if it would be Gwen or our 5th place contestant going here. And that's not to mention all the trouble I had working out how. I wasn't certain if the idol would get involved, or if I wanted to save it for another episode, and admittedly I even changed my mind on that partway through. That's why I split the idol up last week, only for it to be immediately reunited this week - I had assumed I was gonna have three votes for Lightning, but then decided against it when I realized it wouldn't work with Gwen voting for Scott to eliminate the tie. While I could certainly have then gone back and removed the scene of Lightning actually finding the idol, I decided not to. After all, I haven't yet written a scene of the idol being used so who knows what could happen because of the fact that it had been broken apart...

So, yeah. I hope you enjoyed Scott's display of villainy! His plot was a little convoluted and ended up technically failing, but it did succeed in getting Gwen eliminated. But hey, though Scott is this season's villain he's far from perfect - a slip up that sets him back even further is to be expected at times. It doesn't change that he got Gwen eliminated...even if he might wish it did.

Oh, and sorry to all you Scourtney fans out there, but...I decided to sink the ship's chances. Going in to the season I had thought of maybe having them get together as a sort of Shuffled counterpart to Aleheather. But once Courtney's development turned towards redemption, I realized more and more that it just wasn't gonna work out. Mutual physical attraction is one thing, but after everything Scott's done he's not gonna get his crush reciprocated. Again, sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping to see it.

Not much else to say. Lightning still has the idol, Courtney's out of allies, and Scott is universally hated. The Final Five will be...interesting, I think. And hope.

But until then, enjoy yourselves!

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)

Izzy - (7th Place)

Gwen - (6th Place)


	11. Chapter 11 - Sundae Muddy Sundae

**Author's Note**

We're almost at the end, folks! I only have to write the last third of episode 12 (I'm...a little behind, ashamedly) before I start work on the Total Shuffled All-Stars finale. Jeez, it's so close I can almost feel it...hopefully I'll be able to do as good a job on it as I've wanted to. A season like this deserves a grand finale, after all.

But for now, there are reviews to answer. Luckily the chronic review glitch ended so I can actually read all of them!

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the Gwent moment.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Oh, right, thanks for pointing that out! I managed to fix it pretty quickly. Anyway, have fun at camp!

 **P. T. Piranha:** Awesome, I'm happy I was able to keep the suspense up for you last week. I am wondering who your favorite among the remaining cast is...but, well, I'm sure you'll let me know in time. And yeah, the politics was strong last week, but it had to be in order to justify Scott staying around as I didn't want him to suddenly become a challenge beast. And yeah, Alejandro did basically cause Scott's elimination back in season one, by ratting him out to Scarlett about all the sabotage he did. And yeah, this series has come a rather long way... Anyway, I hope you enjoy my take on the ice cream episode.

 **Animation Adventures:** Yeah, thanks, I fixed that as soon as I saw the reviews. And yeah, talking was what really needed to happen for everything to go smoothly. But considering what the challenge was, I think it was fine. And hey, I was able to keep you guessing with how everything would go down, which is always a plus. I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen and Trent's reunion, and I hope you enjoy this week's episode as well.

 **BuckJohnson:** Hah, yeah, can't believe we're at the Final Five right now... I'm glad you're okay with the lack of Scourtney, and that you like my portrayals of both halves of it in this series. I gotta say, it's been fun developing them. Same with Gwen, though perhaps to a lesser extent. Also, you're wrong - Jo made the Final Five in season one and won season two, meaning Shawn is the second person to reach that level.

 **TotalDramaSageOrSannin:** Yeah, all three of them ended up falling for Scott's manipulations pretty bad, as did Courtney. But like you said, he no longer has a place to hide. If he thought he was in trouble before, he's in way more trouble now... The storm isn't quite over yet.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you. There are times when Scott simply has to be devious, it's in his nature.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Yup, I do pride myself in being a hard-to-predict writer. Of course, I also have to be consistent with the characters and story, so I can't be unpredictable all the time. I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen's bonus clip, but since Dawn already picked up Alejandro with Topher it's safe to say she won't be picking anyone else up. I'm glad you're looking forward to how this season ends.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Yeah, I was sad to have to get rid of Gwen again, but it's what I thought was bets for the story. At least she got a nice ending with Trent. Interesting predictions regarding this week's elimination, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the episode.

 **OMAC001:** Oh, I think he may have shot himself in more than just the foot. But who knows?

 **VIPGuest:** Well, I mean, in my defense, the chapter _needed_ a lot of Scott talking in order for it to work. Gwen was one of the more likable campers, people weren't just gonna vote for her without a reason. And since it was Scott, he had to do a lot of work to provide that reason.

 **Guest #1:** He is the main villain of the season after all. You're not expected to like him.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Mm-hmm, it was pretty much Gwen's time to go after all. And yeah, Scott's in a pretty bad position right now, probably the worst he's been in all season. I hope you enjoy what happens!

 **bruno14:** Ah, well, he is the villain after all - he's not meant to be very likeable. You're supposed to root against him, not for him. I'm glad to hear your thoughts again; having mixed feelings about last week's chapter is fair enough, though I do hope these last few chapters are more positive for you.

 **DSX62415:** At least she wasn't betrayed this time. But yeah, Gwen's just not had as good a time in this show as she did in canon season one. Oh well, at least she does still have a loving boyfriend.

 **FOWLKON:** Oh, definitely. Even with the line nominally being drawn in the sand one way, especially once Lightning aligned with Jasmine and Shawn, there was still room for things to happen within and between alliances. Scott was, of course, able to manipulate those relationships and possibilities to what he thought was his advantage; unfortunately for him, he was just a little bit off and so he just made everything worse for himself. I'm glad you enjoyed Gwen and Trent's bonus clip...I do hope you enjoy what those scenes are all leading up to.

 **Guest #2:** Uhh, well, seeing how they all liked Gwen and none of them really liked Scott to begin with, it's only natural that they'd feel guilty about allowing him to convince them, by one way or another, to vote her off. And that guilt is gonna turn into anger real quick. It goes way beyond alliance matters - it's about recognizing that he's a shitty person, has always been a shitty person, and that they should have gotten rid of him long before now so he couldn't spoil their enjoyment of the game.

 **Meeeeeee:** Good to hear. Don't count on Duncney ever being a thing in this series though; I don't think they'd ever even meet.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, fair enough. I did go into the season wanting to give Scourtney a chance, but I didn't give them the right set-up early on and by the time I was ready to do it they just weren't in the right places development-wise. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed Scott's run this season. Interesting predictions regarding this week's elimination (as well as Shawn and Jasmine's relationship); I can't really say any more, obviously, but I am interested in hearing your reaction to how everything goes down. Regarding the bonus scenes, I will say that I decided to split Dawn, Sammy, and DJ up in them simply I know some people are a little tired of them; plus, not having them still form a pair means that particular relationship doesn't get emphasized over the trio as a whole.

 **The Prime Writer:** Haha, yeah, these past couple episodes have been super intense. I'm kind of surprised more people didn't expect Blaineley too, but I think it was simply because she never really did anything in canon after World Tour, and her Shuffled fate wasn't really any different. Izzy...well, I'm most disappointed that I wasn't able to do more with her sooner into the season, but like you said she did have an enjoyable run and went out with style.  
Regarding Courtney's list, I did consider making it at some point this season (I think I also made one last season too?), but I wasn't able to get around to it in the previous episode. As for the future...well, your thoughts and predictions are interesting as always. I look forward to your review next week, and I hope to see you again for TSPI when it debuts in August.

 **link9753:** I don't think anybody really saw last week's twist coming. I mean sure, people predicted that Gwen was gonna be one of the next ones gone, but nobody really guessed at how it would come about. Sorry to disappoint you for not having Gwen do better. As for what happens next...well, I hope you enjoy it.

 **I. M. Poik:** For the last time I am absolutely NOT blowing up the Mobile HQ. Now drop it.  
I'd say I was happy you enjoyed the chapter, that I hope you like this one, and that I'm looking forward to hearing your reaction to it and all that stuff. but honestly I'm still pretty annoyed at you for your insistence that I blow the Mobile HQ up.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Well, first of all, thank you so much for trying your best to make sure I see all of your review, even going so far as to PM me. Fortunately, the glitch ended. Moving on, fair enough about Izzy and I'm glad that you were still able to enjoy my interpretation of her. As for Shuffled RR, it won't be something I do for a while if at all; I plan on taking a break from fanfiction after TSPI to get my life actually sorted (and it's about damn time too, I'm 28 ffs). If another RR season comes out, it'll definitely make a Shuffled version more likely.  
Anyway, I'm glad I was able to spice up last week's episode. Like you said, canon didn't have much to it - mostly just Alejandro failing to warn everyone about Mal, Mal doing Mal things, and Zoey continuing to be unreasonably gullible. Here, we have Scott basically setting up Gwen's fall, which ended up being a lot more than it might sound like.  
I'm really happy with the direction I've been able to take Lightning throughout the series, from arrogant jock to lovable lug. And doing so, like you said, basically helped screw Scott over. Not much else to say about him, or even Jasmine and Shawn. Courtney, though...yeah, I was definitely implying that she's never really gotten much romantic attention from boys. She's certainly never had a boyfriend. And you're absolutely right that if it weren't for Trent, I would so be shipping her with Gwen. Hell, one of my scrapped subplots for last season was an explicit love triangle that would end up with Gwen getting fed up and rejecting Courtney AND Trent.  
As for Gwen herself, well, I'm glad you enjoyed her run. She didn't do too well, especially compared to canon in a lot of ways, but I'm fine with that. I want to give other characters a time to shine...even if, admittedly, all five remaining in this season did well in canon. Not much to say about the bonus scene besides the fact that I wanted to split up Dawn, Sammy, and DJ among them which is why their appearances seem a little random.  
Regarding Scarlett's attractions...honestly, I have no idea. I've never intentionally wrote her with any particular romantic or physical attraction in mind (a ship between her and Alejandro was briefly entertained in my mind but quickly scrapped). So I guess any interpretation of her in that respect is completely valid.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Yup, every cloud has a silver lining as they say. I'm glad you enjoyed the strategy talk, and the backfire it culminated in. And...yeah, I really should've kept mentioning the pack. To be honest, I kinda forgot about them myself for a bit, sorry. I might go back and fix that at some point, but I can't really promise that I will.

 **Icetundra:** Yup, Scott certainly did what he thought he had to do. And while sabotaging the course would certainly be in character for him, I figured he'd rather try and influence the votes instead since that would be more reliable in his mind. Except that he still messed up anyway. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, and I liked your predictions about what'll happen next. I look forward to seeing your next review.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Yyyyup. I don't know if Scott is _the_ most hated contestant in-universe, as he has to compete with Scarlett, among others, but he's definitely up there. He wanted to be taken seriously as a villain, more or less, and...well, he succeeded on that front. It just isn't gonna help him win. I'm glad you liked the guilt and realizations that followed Gwen's elimination; I do like the sweet stuff and redeeming people. I'm just a nice girl at heart, I suppose, who doesn't like keeping things dark for too long. I'm pretty happy with what I've been able to do with Courtney this season, and this week's episode is part of that. I'm glad you're looking forward to it, and I hope I don't let you down.

And that's the reviews done for this week, dear readers! As you all know by now, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

The Final Five are, of course, as follows:

Boys: Lightning, Scott, Shawn

Girls: Courtney, Jasmine

And now we come to an episode that was much-maligned in canon. I'm not gonna lie, it won't be hard to do better than that. But more importantly, will it be as good as the rest of the season has been? That, dear readers, is for you to decide.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 11 – Sundae, Muddy Sundae**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris opened over a clip of Shawn crossing the well-named 'snapping bars'. "Lightning _finally_ got a couple of allies in Jasmine,," the jock was shown talking to Jasmine in front of the loser cabin, "and Shawn." The former two were then shown talking to their scruffy third right before the challenge. "But _Scott_ ," the devious farmer gave an angry confessional, "hatched a plan to break them up." The next trio of short clips showed him talking to Lightning before the challenge, then Shawn and Jasmine at different points during it.

"Meanwhile, _Gwen_ tried to get Scott voted out," the goth was shown discussing her worries with Courtney in private, then asking Jasmine and Lightning to vote with her as they all tried to cross the snapping bars. "Buuut, Scott was ready for _that_ , too." Another of the schemer's confessionals was shown, followed by him talking to Courtney on the bars, acting like he was okay with going home if it meant his crush could get further. "What can I say," the host laughed over a shot of the redheaded villain smirking, "the dude was _smoking_ it today." He laughed again over a clip of Scott being electrocuted by a poorly-insulated cable being used as a climbing rope.

"The Final Six ran the _brutal_ Obsta-kill Course," the host continued as the montage flashed to the campers beginning their race. "And proved that the old saying is true: whatever doesn't kill you, makes you really, really sore." Courtney was shown running face-first into a surprise pole popping out of one of the tires; Lightning and Gwen were shot into the air by sudden geysers; and Jasmine was electrocuted by the same 'rope' that would later catch Scott. Chris laughed.

"The winner?" Chris asked as a clip of Shawn ziplining through the finish line played. " _Shawn_ , thanks to Jasmine and Lightning's little twist-up." The next clip, of course, showed the jock and amazon colliding on the zipline, getting tangled together, and falling off in a mishap of physics.

"And thanks to all of Scott's masterful manipulations," Scott was shown talking to Lightning as the jock stood on the balcony; Gwen and Courtney were shown discussing the vote behind cover during the challenge; and Lightning approached a cautious Shawn and Jasmine while the sun set, "the flush-ee was none other than _Gwen_." The goth, and her main friend and ally, reacted with shock at the news while the three who'd voted for her looked ashamed and sorrowful.

"Too bad for _Scott_ ," Lightning confessed to having been manipulated by Scott, "it only made things _worse_ for him." Scott laughed nervously as the others glared at him, then Courtney grabbed him by the collar to tell him off.

The montage ended with a flash, the scene moving to Chris on the end of the dock. "Only _five_ players remain," he said. "Who will live to play another day? And who will go sight-seeing in sewer city," the shot cut over to the massive toilet, "via the _dreaded_ Flush of Shame? Find out right here," the camera returned to Chris, "right now, on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A soft tune with just a hint of underlying tension began as the episode opened on the spa hotel, the scene soon cutting inside to the dining room. "Look, Lightning wants to tell you again how sorry he is for what happened," the jock told Courtney in an extremely remorseful tone as the camera panned on to him following her to the table, a plate of food in each of their hands.

"I know," Courtney said with a hint of impatience.

"Lightning never meant to vote out Gwen," the jock continued unabated. "I mean he _did_ , but not _really_..."

"So you've told me," Courtney replied.

"I mean, it was only cause of _Scott_ that Lightning did it," Lightning said. "He tricked me into thinkin' it was my only chance!"

Courtney sighed, then spun around on her heel to face him. "Lightning, I know. You've told me about a hundred _times_ since last night."

"...really?" Lightning said in confusion, immediately looking at his hands and silently counting on his fingers.

The ex-CIT grabbed him by the jaw and redirected his attention back to her. "Yes, really. But like I keep trying to tell you, I'm not mad at you or the others anymore. I mean, I _am_ ," she admitted, not meeting his gaze for a moment, "but I'm mad at my _self_ too so it all evens out."

Lightning looked at her blankly for a moment, then stood up straight. "Well...okay then. Glad we got that settled." He walked past her, sat down, and started eating.

xxx

"Yeah, Lightning will admit he was a little scared that bossy girl was gonna hate him forever for voting out her friend," the jock admitted. "But just a _little_ , I mean, this _is_ the Lightning we're talkin' about."

xxx

Courtney sighed. "Honestly, as much as part of me _wants_ to be furious at the others for pretty much ruining one of the main things I was trying to do this season, the _rational_ part of me realizes that doing so would be pointless. With Gwen gone, my two top priorities right now are getting rid of Scott, and getting to the finale. Luckily, I think I have an idea that'll help with both of those."

xxx

The static ended, putting the scene back in the dining room as Courtney shook her head. "It's not settled just yet, Lightning," she said as she sat down next to the jock, who paused to look at her with a mouth full of bacon. "We need to plan ahead and figure out what's gonna happen from here on out. And that includes making sure _Scott_ doesn't mess us up anymore."

/

The music turned ominous as the scene flashed to Boney Island, the fog parting as the camera slowly flew towards the skull-shaped mountain.

Another cut put the focus on a tall pine tree, the base of its trunk covered in claw and tooth marks. The camera panned upward to reveal a scratched and bruised Scott sleeping face-down on a branch. Most of his arms and legs dangling freely, the camera zoomed in as he began to murmur.

The entire scene shimmered, transitioning to a strange pinkish sky filled with clouds, an odd but serene tune playing in the background. A pan down showed Scott lazily drifting through, floating with his hands behind his head and a calm look on his face as though he were simply lying in bed.

"Aah, this is the _life_ ," he sighed. "Nothing to bother me and everything I could ever want. Money," a familiar-looking briefcase full of cash poofed into existence next to his head. "Food," several dishes of meat, corn, potatoes, and something that looked suspiciously like dirt appeared below him, and he causally swiped a sausage and took a bite out of it. " _Girls_..."

Another poof, and Courtney appeared above him in her swimsuit. She smiled flirtatiously at him, then blew him a kiss. He caught it with a cocky smile, then floated up next to the girl's image and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Just what I wanted...," he said, the shot cutting to a close-up as he closed his eyes and puckered up...

...and was promptly punched in the face. The sky and music turned dark and treacherous, and the camera pulled back out to show the image of Courtney – now in her usual outfit – scowling angrily at Scott with her arms crossed. "What do you think you're doing, _traitor_ ," the image asked him. "What makes you think slime like _you_ can kiss _me_?"

"Uhh, because you're my girlfriend, _duh_ ," Scott told it angrily.

The image of Courtney sniffed. "As if. You're nothing but a little _pest_ that I strung along until you got too big for your _overalls_." As she spoke she grew larger and larger, the perspective shifting to look down at Scott as he gaped at the ever-increasing shadow. The camera moved behind him to show the image of Courtney towering over him like he were some little bug, and with another disdainful sniff she flicked him away.

The camera followed him as he flew screaming backwards across the darkened sky until he collided with the suitcase full of money, now closed tight. "The million bucks," he said, quickly clinging to it excitedly...until it started to inflate like a balloon. "Huh?" was all Scott could say before it burst into a flash of light, which quickly faded to reveal the massive disembodied head of Ezekiel.

"I ain't surprised, eh," the image of Ezekiel said, glowering down at Scott. "The guy's never been good for nothing. He's a bad friend, and probably a bad boyfriend too, eh."

"Like anybody'd even wanna find out," the image of Courtney said, now just a massive disembodied head as well as it floated over to Scott's other side, prompting the farmer to turn around and gasp. "He's just a _loser_ plain and simple. No way will _he_ ever win."

"Ya got that right, eh," the floating head of Ezekiel said, drawing Scott's attention back to it. "The idea of him ever havin' money is just laughable, eh."

"Yeah," the image of Courtney said, and both began to laugh.

"No! I _can_ win this!" Scott yelled at them as they began to circle him at rapid speeds. "I'll get that money, and then _I'll_ be the one laughing!"

The disembodied heads of Courtney and Ezekiel only laughed harder and span faster until they were a blur. "No! NO!" Scott cried out in terror, before suddenly falling back-first through the darkened sky.

"NOOOOOO!" he screamed, the scene shimmering in the middle as he woke up...and discovered he was falling in real life.

He hit the ground on his back with a painful thud. The camera moved above him as he groaned...and the shot zoomed in as his eyes snapped open again, now full of fire. "I am _not_ gonna lose!" he declared angrily, pounding the ground beside him angrily as a few ominous chants pulled the scene back out to the skull mountain of Boney Island.

/

The music faded into a more standard background tune as the scene flashed back to the common area. Another cut took the focus to Courtney and Lightning walking together along the edge of the forest. Upon reaching a familiar tree they stopped, and moments later Shawn and Jasmine jumped down to the ground in front of them.

"What's up?" Shawn asked, looking on-edge as his eyes darted around. "Is it zombies?"

"Has it _ever_ been zombies?" Courtney questioned.

"Not yet," the survivalist said matter-of-factly, "but that doesn't mean we can afford to let our guard down." Jasmine stifled a giggle.

Courtney sighed. "Whatever. Listen. I, which is to say me and Lightning," she gestured to the jock standing beside her with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face, "came here to make a deal with you two."

"Deal?" Jasmine repeated, sharing a confused look with her ally. "What kind of deal?"

"The four of us are gettin' out _Scott_ tonight," Lightning answered. "And nobody else."

Shawn and Jasmine shared another look. "Well yeah," Shawn said. "I mean, who else were we gonna vote for."

Courtney shook her head. "Well, there's more to it than that. The four of us _have_ to make sure Scott doesn't win immunity tonight, _and_ we all have to vote him out. We can't let that little rat hang around any longer and try to mess us up again."

Shawn rubbed his chin and nodded. "Reasonable."

"But that's not all you want, is it?" Jasmine added with a questioning look.

Courtney nodded, then took a deep breath. "You're right. After we get rid of Scott...then it'll be the two of you against me and Lightning in the Final Four." Shawn and Jasmine's brows shot up. "We force a tie, then it's may the best man – or woman – win for the tiebreaker. No hard feelings on either side."

"I...guess that means our alliance is done, huh Lightning," Shawn said awkwardly.

Lightning's determined look finally faded. "Look, I ain't got nothin' against you two," he said in a bit of a slump. "But Lightning wants to play _fair_ from now on, no more tricks and no more schemin'. That means we play two-on-two for a shot at the Final Three, and stick together to try and get to the finale."

"So...," Courtney stuck out her hand, and looked sharply at Lightning so he did the same, "do we have a deal?"

Shawn and Jasmine shared one last look, and nodded. "Deal," they said together, Shawn shaking Courtney's hand and Jasmine Lightning's.

xxx

"There," Courtney said, letting out her breath. "Maybe now I can have some peace of mind again."

xxx

"I know it's not exactly the most _favorable_ agreement for me and Jasmine," Shawn confessed, "but at this stage in the game I'll _gladly_ remove some of the uncertainty from the competition. Besides, now I'll have more time to hang with Jasmine without having to worry so much about the game."

xxx

"Attention punching bags!" Chris called out over the loudspeaker. "Please gather in the forest clearing, and bring your padded undies, cause today's challenge," the shot cut to a scowling Scott being driven in on the back of Chef's jeep, "is a butt-kicker."

As the jeep passed by the other four campers, Chef shoved Scott out. "Aagh!" the farmer shouted in alarm as he landed in the dirt. He growled in annoyance, then looked up as the other four walked past him. "Hmph. Sorry to disappoint all of you, but I made it through the night _no problem_."

None of them reacted, simply walking onward without so much as a glance Scott's way.

The shot cut in for a close-up as Scott raised a brow in confusion.

/

A flash took the scene to Courtney and Lightning walking side-by-side down the forest path, a plodding tune playing in the background. They barely turned their heads as Scott came running up alongside them, but soon looked forward again.

"Hey," the farmer greeted them. "Just wanted to let you too know that if you're looking for a third to help vote off one of the nature-lovers, I'm your guy."

Courtney and Lightning just scowled, but sped up without taking their eyes off the path ahead. Scott scowled, then hurried up alongside them again. "Come on, Court," he told his former ally, putting an arm around her shoulder. "How 'bout we work together one last time, for old time's sake."

The shot moved in front of them as Courtney gave him a narrow and angry side-eye, then turned around and kneed him in the crotch. The shot returned to the usual side-on view as Scott dropped to his knees with a squeal of pain, and Courtney continued on with a sniff of disdain.

The camera followed Courtney and Lightning, and after a few yards they smirked at one another and bumped fists. " _Man_ that felt good," the ex-CIT said.

"Too bad _Scott_ disagrees," Lightning said, and the two laughed.

Courtney sighed contentedly. "But seriously, I think with a little work we'll make a great team. With my brains and your brawn, we should even be able to give Jasmine and Shawn a run for their money."

"Sha- _yeah_ ," Lightning said, flexing his arm confidently. "Girl, we shoulda teamed up _sooner_. Uh," he paused, realizing his gaff, "I mean, Lightning totally understands why you didn't."

"It's okay," Courtney said, patting him on the arm. "I was focused on rebuilding my relationship with Gwen. Looking back, we should've taken you up on your alliance offer back at the merge. Maybe then Gwen would still be here instead of Scott...," she said sadly.

"C'mon, don't be thinking like that," Lightning told her. " _Loads_ of stuff coulda happened that didn't, and loads _more_ stuff could happen that won't! So you gotta stop lettin' yourself get held down by the past, and start using it to fuel your blitz all the way through the present and into the end zone that is the future." He nodded decisively.

Courtney couldn't help but laugh a little. "Where'd you get that?"

Lightning puffed up proudly. "Lightning came up with it himself. He's gonna remember it for when he's a coach someday. You know, after he retires from bein' a star athlete."

His new ally laughed again. "Well okay then."

/

"Well, I guess this makes things easier for us," Shawn commented as the scene flashed to him and Jasmine walking down the path together, the background music becoming calm and flowery. "Unexpected, but I'm not complaining about bringing this back to a pure competition for once."

"Oh, definitely," Jasmine said, looking at him with a soft smile. "It'll be nice being able to focus on something _other_ than strategy and who to vote out for once. There's just more important things to think about, y'know?"

"Totally," Shawn said, closing his eyes and nodding decisively. "I've been getting lax in my _zombie preparation_ ," he opened his eyes, darted them around, and waved his hands as though he were karate chopping a zombie. "What's the point of winning if I don't make it through the apocalypse?"

Jasmine snorted out a laugh. "True, I don't think you'd be able to spend the money on much," she said. "Although," she added with a bashful look, "I do hope you'll have time in your zombie preparation for... _other_ things."

"Huh?" Shawn said in confusion before coming to a realization. "Oh! Yeah, yeah, definitely. Just because there's a significant chance the dead are gonna come and try to eat you doesn't mean you shouldn't try to enjoy life while you can."

xxx

"Okay," Shawn said nervously, "I'm _pretty sure_ Jasmine likes me. And I'm even _more_ sure I like her back. This isn't something that's ever happened to me before," he told the confessional camera. "I've always tried to avoid romance, since 73.6% of all men who _die_ in zombie movies die because of it. But since it's _Jasmine_ , I think I might not be at risk of that at all!" He sighed. "Only problem is, I really don't know how to go about this kind of thing. Guess I should just try being straightforward."

xxx

"Okay," Jasmine said confidently, "I think now's my chance to ask Shawn out."

xxx

"So, uh, I was thinking," the two survivalists said at the same time, briefly averting their gazes before looking back at one another and smiling. "Oh! You go first," they said at the same time again.

"No, you first, I insist," Shawn said next.

Jasmine shook her head. "No, what I wanna say can wait. You go first."

Shawn chuckled awkwardly. "Well then-"

"Outta the way, losers!" Scott interrupted with a strained and slightly higher voice than normal as he barged through between Shawn and Jasmine.

Both groaned and sent a scowl his way.

/

The scene flashed forward to show all five campers standing along a line of chalk, a small flag to the side of it along with Chris, an aerial map of the island on a widescreen television, and the two slender white interns looking ragged and drooping in exhaustion.

"Behold!" Chris declared, motioning to his underlings as a harsh and hollow note played. "My sad, skinny interns!"

The girl with the ponytail moaned. "I totally forgot to feed them this week," Chris explained, walking over between them and putting his hands on their shoulders.

Scott snickered, earning glares from Courtney and Jasmine.

Chris laughed as well. "I know, funny right? So, today's challenge is a race to make a delicious sundae, and serve it up to good ol'...whatshisname," he looked at the long-banged male, "and whosits...over here," he looked at the girl.

xxx

"Woo, yes!" Courtney cheered. " _I_ know my sundaes," she added boastfully. "I worked in an ice cream shop for three weeks. Then I got fired...," she looked down thoughtfully. "Looking back that _might_ have been my fault. But either way," she told the camera confidently, "there's no way Scott can beat me in this. I'm practically an ice cream _professional_."

xxx

"So," Chris said as Chef walked by in front of him carrying a stack of bowls, "to make this fun, for _me_ , you'll have to travel to the most _dangerous_ parts of the island to procure the ingredients of this dessert." He backed away as the camera zoomed in on the aerial photo of the island, a quartet of dark red X-marked circles appearing at various points with small blinking arrows pointing from them to specific landmarks: the thousand-foot-high cliff; the old mess hall; and two parts of the forest far from camp.

A flash of static cut the scene to a pan up the giant hill, its slope now covered in snow. "Your ice cream awaits at the top of the diving cliff," he explained, the camera reaching the top to show a generator-powered cannon-like device spewing ice and snow into the air. "Which the ice machine has been making nice and slippery for a while now."

Another bit of static took the scene to a bowl of cherries sitting on a flat rock in the murky swamp. "The Maraschino cherries are perched on a rock in the swamp," Chris explained, the camera pulling back to show more of the logs and cattails that ringed the greenish water, a chorus of frogs just audible below his voice.

"You'll find crushed peanuts in the old cafeteria," the host continued as the static brought the focus to a panning shot of a bowl of nuts sitting on an old oil drum in the middle of the decrepit building. "And, the final ingredient, chocolate sauce" another bit of static, and the camera panned leftward across a close-up of a bubbling brown pool with some sort of plant growing in the middle, "can be found in a pool surrounding a recently-planted mutant fire flower." The camera stopped on the foot of a bear, then pulled back as it stuck its paw into the pool and took a lick of the chocolate. The tubular orange flower reared back and shot fire at the bear, burning away its fur and leaving it confused and sizzling.

"Now that's just _wrong_ ," Lightning complained as Chef handed bowls to Shawn and Jasmine next to him.

"What can I say," Chris said, "prison changed me! For the _better_ ," he laughed. "The first person to have their sundae completely consumed by the interns _wins_ ," he explained as he walked back towards the campers and the interns, who had collapsed onto the ground. "On your marks," he told them, reaching into his back pocket.

A few drum beats played over a close-up of him raising his airhorn. He blew it.

The shot cut back outward to show the campers eying him warily. "What are you waiting for, they're hungry!" he yelled at them with a brief motion to his fallen interns. " _Scram_!" Tense challenge music rose up as he blew his horn again, the campers finally running off. He blew his horn at them again as they passed by out of annoyance.

The camera panned ahead to show Scott taking the early lead. "Oh yeah, I am _so_ gonna win this!" he boasted confidently as Lightning ran up along side him.

"Dude, get real," the jock said with a scowl. "Ain't no _way_ you're gonna out run the Lightning!"

A pan back to the left showed Jasmine, then Shawn, then Courtney at the very back. "Come on, Lightning!" she shouted to her ally. "Trip him up! We gotta make sure he falls behind!"

The shot cut back to Lightning as he raised his brow in a questioning manner.

xxx

"Normally, Lightning wouldn't bother playin' dirty like bossy girl is askin' him to," Lightning confessed. "One," he held up a finger, "because he don't need to. And two," he held up a finger on his other hand, "because Lightning's tryin' to be heroic. But since Scott's a villain and we're supposed to be makin' sure he doesn't win so we can vote him off..." Lightning paused and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

xxx

Lightning scowled determinedly as he looked back at Scott, then smirked. "Take _this_ , sucka!" he said, turning towards Scott as if to trip him...

...only to trip himself with a sudden look of surprise, the shot cutting to his feet to show Scott's sticking out in front of them.

Scott laughed as he continued running, Lightning falling down and out of sight behind him.

xxx

"Please, playing _dirty_ is what I do best," Scott boasted in the outhouse. "Heck, I've gotten so good at tripping people up I hardly _ever_ get caught any more by the judges in the races at the county fair!" He sighed contentedly. "I even tripped up my own partner in a three-legged race once," he admitted, though his pride soon faded. "It...wasn't as funny as I thought it was gonna be when _I_ fell too, though."

xxx

"Like I said," Scott called back to his foes, "I _ain't_ losing this!"

The camera quick-panned back to Courtney, who was helping Lightning back to his feet. "Jasmine, Shawn, you guys are gonna have to do it!" she called out to the two survivalists, and the camera panned back to the right to show them listening.

"Well if we can't _trip_ the little mongrel," Jasmine said.

"Then we'll just have to _pass him_ ," Shawn said, and the two sped up.

xxx

"Hey, a guy's gotta know when to be honorable," Shawn confessed. "Of course, that only applies to the living. And even then only when you don't have to compete for resources, or your lives. But when you're up against some like Scott, where 'dirty' is probably his middle name, then you should never try to beat him at his own game."

xxx

The scene cut to the snowy hillside, the challenge music quickly ramping back up as Scott trudged upward and onward. "Almost...there...," he said, taking heavy steps.

Shawn rushed past just then, knocking him into the snow. "Think again," he said as he continued on.

Scott pushed himself out of the snow with an angry sputter. "Hey! Watch where you're going!"

The scruffy boy ignored him, quickly reaching the top of the cliff. "This just in," Chris announced over the camp loudspeaker as Shawn ran past the ice machine, "Shawn is _first_ to reach the ice cream!" He grinned at the sight of the ice cream, which had been shaped into a snowman with vanilla base, chocolate chest and arms, strawberry head, licorice scarf, various toppings for the face and a cone for a hat.

"Oh yeah," Shawn said confidently as he tried to skid to a stop and grab one of the scoops sticking out of the snow...only to slip onto his butt and slide onwards with a wail. "Or not!" He slid all the way off the edge, but a close-up showed him grabbing on to an icicle just in time. The shot cut outward to show him hanging by one hand in the open air, and he gulped. "Welp, this isn't good," he muttered to himself in fear. "HEEEEELPPP!" he yelled, his voice echoing.

The shot cut back to Scott, snickering as he scooped ice cream into his bowl. "Later, suckers," he said, watching as Jasmine ran past with a concerned look on her face.

"Scott has scooped up first place!" Chris announced, the farmer dropping his scoop and running back the way he'd came.

"Oh, _great_..." Courtney muttered as the shot cut to her and Lightning climbing up on their hands and knees.

Scott reached the edge, and with a taunting cry of "Look out below!" he jumped into the air and started sliding down on his back. He blew a raspberry at Courtney and Lightning as he passed them.

"Why you!" Courtney growled, trying to lunge out at her former ally only to slip and fall. She yelped as the snow under her started to slide back down the hill, only for Lightning to reach back and grab her by the arm.

"Come on girl, no messin' around," he told her. "We gotta keep goin' and try to catch up."

"R-right," Courtney stammered.

xxx

"Okay, definitely glad I decided to partner up with Lightning," Courtney confessed. "I guess it shows how far he's come that _he's_ the one keeping cool right now."

xxx

"Thanks," Courtney told Lightning, and the two resumed climbing.

The shot cut to the cliff's edge, Jasmine squatting at the end of it with her bowl on the ground and her arms reaching down. "C'mon, almost gotcha!" she called out, the camera panning down to show Shawn, his bowl on his head, trying to reach out to her. "Just a little more!" she added, the camera zooming in as Shawn grunted and stretched, their hands getting closer and closer.

A triumphant tune rose up as they finally clasped, Shawn exclaiming "Yes!" as he was rapidly pulled to safety. The shot cut to Jasmine as she brought him up, only to lose balance at the last second and fall backwards from the effort.

Shawn landed on top of her, their lips pressed together. A sweet, lilting tune played as they stayed that way for a couple seconds, before Shawn pushed himself up with a blush that was matched by his companion. "S-sorry," he stuttered, scrambling off her and towards the ice cream...only to slip and fall again. "Heh heh, whoops..." he said in embarrassment as Jasmine walked over to him.

"It's, uh, it's really not a problem," she said bashfully. "Any of it, that is."

"It isn't?" Shawn said in shock as he jumped back to his feet.

"Uh, excuse me?" came the mildly annoyed voice of Courtney and the challenge music with it, the shot panning over to show her and Lightning getting their ice cream. "One of us needs to actually _beat_ Scott, remember?" she told them as her partner dropped his scoop and ran off.

"Oh, yeah, right," Jasmine said, blushing a little again as she ran back to the ice cream snowman. She arrived just as Courtney left, and began to to scoop.

The camera followed Courtney as she ran back to the slope. "With any luck _something_ will slow Scott down," she called out. "But we need to be there to take advantage of it!" She jumped off and slid back down the snow, and moments after she left the bear that had been rendered hairless by the mutant fire flower earlier rose up from the far side of the hill, a curious look on its face.

Shawn arrived at the ice cream snowman just as Jasmine was getting her last scoop of strawberry. "You go on ahead," he said at her questioning look. "This won't take long."

"Right," Jasmine nodded before running off.

The shot focused in on Shawn as he bent down and tried to pull a scoop from the ground, only for it not to budge. "Aww man, of _course_ I'd grab the one that's stuck...," he groaned before reaching for the one next to it and pulling it out with ease.

He stood up, saw the naked bear happily licking at the chocolate ice cream, and screamed. "N-nice bear," he told it with a wide and nervous grin. It merely gave him a puzzled look as he proceeded to take scoops of the vanilla and chocolate, but as he tried to take a scoop from the strawberry head he accidentally pushed it slightly.

The music struck a few deep and tense beats as the head wobbled a bit, then finally dropped onto the bear's head. It immediately reared up on its hind legs and roared in anger, and Shawn screamed.

"WHY DOES THIS _ALWAYS_ HAPPEN?!" Shawn cried out as he ducked under a swipe from the bear and ran off back towards the slope.

xxx

"Seriously, after all the times I've been attacked by a bear on this show," Shawn told the outhouse camera, "I'm starting to wonder if I should be preparing for _them_ to take over instead of the brain-munchers."

xxx

The frogs and crickets were still singing as the scene moved to the cherries on their rock in the middle of the swamp. Scott breathed in deeply as he waded into view, saying "Reminds me of home, only wetter," as he made his way to the next ingredient.

"Scott's first to the cherries!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker. "Will he keep his lead?" he asked over a close-up shot of the farmer plucking a cherry from the top and putting it on his ice cream. "Not if _Snappy_ has anything to say about it!"

"Snappy?" Scott asked in confusion, looking around as the camera zoomed back out. An alligator promptly rose to the surface next to him and growled. Scott screamed in fright, but the shot quickly cut to Lightning swinging blindly down on a vine and landing on the alligator.

"Sha-Lightning has arrived," the jock boasted proudly.

"Thanks for the save, man," Scott told him almost tauntingly, prompting the jock to look down at the alligator he'd landed on and palm his face.

"Aww man, Lightning totally botched the landing!" the athlete said.

"Well too bad," Scott said with a smirk, running past Lightning...only for the uber-jock to grab him by the back of his tanktop and pull him back.

"Oh no, you are _not_ stayin' in the lead," Lightning said as he threw Scott down into the water near the cherries. "That belongs to the Lightning," the jock added, taking a cherry and adding it to his ice cream. "Sha-score~!" he said in a sing-song voice as he raced back to shore.

"And _Lightning_ takes the lead!" Chris announced as Scott resurfaced with a splutter. He looked at his ice cream and gasped, a close-up revealing that it had been partially melted by the swamp water and that the cherry had disappeared. The shot cut back up to his face as he narrowed his eyes and growled.

xxx

"Alright, time to get even _more_ serious than I was before," Scott angrily told the outhouse camera. "The rest of 'em will be lucky to get _anything_ before I'm done with this challenge."

xxx

The static cut away to show Courtney and Jasmine making their way through the swamp, the former standing on a floating log. They soon reached the flat rock they'd been directed to...only to find it barren and empty with no cherries in sight. They gasped.

"What the? Where are the cherries?!" Courtney asked in shock. "Did we take a wrong turn?"

Jasmine looked around frantically. "No, this looks like the right place," she said before wading closer to the rock and checking around it.

"Maybe we should just use something else," Courtney suggested off-camera as Jasmine noticed a few small bubbles on the surface of the water near the rock.

"No, wait," she called back, the music rising as the upturned bowl the cherries had been in broke the surface of the water. Jasmine took it out, revealing a frog under it, and examined the empty, dripping vessel with a critical eye. "Looks like the cherries fell into the water," she said, the shot pulling back to show the ex-CIT standing beside her.

" _Scott_ ," Courtney said bitterly.

"No worries, though," Jasmine said, setting the bowl back on the rock then reaching down into the water. After a few seconds of searching she pulled up a handful of cherries.

" _Ewwww_...," Courtney said in disgust, taking one of them before Jasmine put the rest back in the bowl.

"Well, nothing a little rub can't hurt," Jasmine said, rubbing a cherry of her own on her vest.

"Yeah, sure...," Courtney said, giving her a strange look before dropping the cherry on her own ice cream.

xxx

"What?" Courtney asked the camera. "We were behind enough as it is, and I didn't wanna get my shirt wet. Besides, those interns aren't even gonna _taste_ the swamp water."

xxx

A sharp dramatic note played as Snappy was shown approaching again, the shot cutting back up to Jasmine – her cherry now on her ice cream – taking notice immediately. "Err...c'mon, mate, you don't wanna do this _now_ ," she told it as the music continued building, backing up slowly through the swamp as it continued to approach her at a low hiss. "Not when my hand is tied up holding this bowl, right?" She flashed it a wary smile.

"Whoa!" she exclaimed as it suddenly dove down, then lunged out of the water at her as the music peaked.

A pause icon appeared on the scene.

/

"Wow," Chris said as the opening notes of the capstone theme played, "she's just _swamped_!" He walked in front of the scene, laughing at his own joke and holding a remote. "Who will survive the sundae challenge?" he asked, the camera jumping backward to show him standing in front of the widescreen television. "And who's about to become _tomorrow's_ wildlife leftovers? Find out after the break, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

The episode resumed from the paused scene of Jasmine and the alligator. The music boomed intensely as the alligator lunged with open jaws, but a cut to the amazon showed her scowling and drawing back a punch. " _Haa_!" she cried out, the camera following her fist as it connected with the alligator's lower jaw. The beast was knocked away with a startled whimper, landing off-screen with a splash.

"Well," Jasmine said, breathing a little heavily, "that takes care of that. Better get moving..." The background score trilled ominously as she grunted, lifting her leg with a squelching sound and turning around.

And then a scream came through the trees, the music spiking as Shawn arrived at a terrified pace and dove into the swamp. The hairless bear, still chasing him on its hind legs, blindly tripped over a rock and flew even further. A cut back to Jasmine showed the bear surfacing next to her just as the alligator returned with an angry growl; with a roar and a harsh tune the bear pounced on the alligator and started wrestling with it.

With a wary look Jasmine slowly backed away to the right, and soon bumped in to Shawn coming from the opposite direction. "Whoa!" she said, whirling around in surprise. "Oh, Shawn, it's just you. Are you gonna be okay getting your cherry?" she asked, both survivalists looking back towards the bowl – a quick-pan over showed the two predators launching themselves into the air over the bowl as they continued to furiously fight.

"Uhhh...," Shawn said uncertainly as the shot cut back to him and Jasmine, "probably?"

xxx

"I only said that because I think that alligator's got the bear distracted," Shawn confessed. "And I still don't really get what the deal with that bear even _was_. Why get so upset over _ice cream_?"

xxx

The next confessional was given by the hairless bear, now holding an ice cream cone with a scoop of strawberry and a scoop of vanilla. It tried to lick it only for the ice cream to fall off, and it roared in anger.

xxx

"And Lightning is the first to enter the _crushed nut zone_ ," Chris announced over the loudspeaker as the uber-jock ran up the steps and into the old mess hall, "where he'll face-off against the newly refurbished Total Drama _Machine_."

Lightning, who had been about to take a scoop of crushed nuts, paused and looked upward with a skeptical frown. "Sha- _what_? Lightning don't remember no Total Drama _Machine_."

Challenge music rose up as the camera cut to an upward-angled shot of the shadowy form of an advancing robot. With a whir it revealed itself as the old robot that had been used in a few of the season three Aftermaths, though its eyes were now glowing red and it had a large wooden mallet in place of its right hand. It raised the mallet to strike, but Lightning easily ducked around toward the camera with a startled "Sha-wheasy!"

The mallet hit the floor hard enough to send a flew splintered boards up into the air, but Lightning simply rolled around behind it. A shift in perspective to behind the bowl of nuts showed the jock pop back up and grab a few, the viewpoint returning to its usual position as Lightning darted away towards the kitchen and the machine turned to follow him.

A quick-pan back to the entrance showed Scott creeping in to the room with a devious smile, easily dashing over to the oil drum the nuts were on. "Come to Scottie...!" he said, waving his fingers eagerly as he prepared to grab his next ingredient.

Only for the shot to pan back to Lightning, his back to the wall as the robot approached. With a grunt and a strong kick to the machine's front he knocked it backwards on its wheels, and Scott looked up with a questioning grunt just in time to see it slam into him. "Sha-bye-bye!" Lightning taunted as he ran back through the room, the camera following him to show him passing a screaming Scott as he fled back to the right, the robot right behind him.

The shot cut to Scott running through the swinging saloon doors into the kitchen, the Machine entering moments later. There was a great crash of metal from off-camera, and soon after a terrified Scott vaulted over the counter Chef had once served meals at and ran back into the room. "Stupid Lightning...," he muttered, finding his anger again as a close-up showed him grabbing a handful of crushed nuts, then shoving the bowl onto the ground. "I'll show _him_!" He ran out the door, and straight into someone outside.

"Urggh, _Scott_!" Courtney grunted, the scene cutting outside to show her and the farmer on their butts on the mess hall porch. "Watch where you're going!" she added as they both stood up.

She tried to push past him, but he grabbed her arm. "Wait," he told her with an almost pleading expression. "I'm sorry about getting vote Gwen out, really. Heck, I'll even overlook that blow to the kiwis you gave me earlier! Just _please_ , let me work with you! Or at least vote someone _else_ out!"

Courtney scoffed indignantly. "I'm sorry, and why _exactly_ should I believe a word you say?"

"B-because, I," Scott said nervously, "I think...I think I really, like, _like_ you?" Courtney just crossed her arms and gave him a disbelieving look. "I, I mean, I more than like you, I-"

His crush cut him off by grabbing his tanktop and shoving him against the door frame. "If you _really_ have feelings for me," she hissed at him in a close-up, "then you'd vote your _self_ out. Because the last person I want around right now is _you_."

"C-come on now, be reasonable!" Scott said nervously.

"I _am_ being reasonable," Courtney replied. "Now get out of my sight," she said, throwing him to the side and walking into the mess hall.

The camera cut to a close-up of Scott, who had landed on the steps and was now rubbing his head. An ominous tune played as he opened his eyes, and glared.

/

A flash took the scene inside the cafeteria as Courtney noticed the nuts scattered on the floor. "Seriously?" she said, groaning in annoyance as she crouched down and began to pick them up a few at a time. She was quickly distracted by a metallic whir, and screamed as the Total Drama Machine charged at her from the right, its mallet raised high. "This _can't_ be legal!" Courtney yelled, running back and forth across the room with the robot right behind her.

"What on _earth_...?" Jasmine asked in confusion as she walked into the room, looking from Courtney and the robot to the nuts spilled on the floor.

/

A jet of flame hit a large boulder just before Lightning got behind it. "And Lightning is the _first_ to reach the chocolate fire zone!" Chris announced as the challenge music resumed.

"Sha- _sweet_!" the jock exclaimed.

"But Scott is hot on his heels with a fire in his eyes to match the flower," Chris continued, the shot cutting in closer to Lightning as raised an eyebrow in disbelief, "so, it's still _anybody's_ game!"

The camera pulled back as Scott ran past, muttering angrily to himself. "Stupid Courtney thinks she's so _hot_...we'll see who she wants around once I win the million...whoa!" he said in shock, coming upon the mutant fire flower which stood just a few inches taller than him. "Since when do _flowers_ get that _big_?!"

"It's that toxic waste crud, you sha- _dingus_ ," Lightning told him, joining him on the edge of the chocolate pool. "Even _I_ know _that_..."

Scott sneered at him, but before he could reply the flower reared back and shot another burst of flame their way; the boys screamed and ducked, then Scott ran forward and around the pool. The flower's attention followed him and it soon shot another blast of fire that Scott had to hastily duck under, only for it to catch his hair alight.

As the farmer shrieked and tried to put out the small fire on his head, the shot cut back to Lightning to show him staring blankly at Scott while still crouched down. He shrugged, then scooped up some sauce with his hand and dumped it on his ice cream.

"Lightning exits the chocolate fire zone," Chris announced as the jock ran past Scott, who had put out his hair but now had to contend with blast after blast from the fire flower's signature weapon, "maintaining his lead!"

The flower stopped attacking, freeing up Scott to glare and growl angrily in the direction the uber-jock had gone.

/

The scene flashed back to the mess hall as Shawn finally arrived in the doorway. He lingered there to catch his breath but was only able to do so for a moment before something caught his attention that cause him to gasp and scramble out of the way.

The Total Drama Machine, now with a few dents and some springs sticking out of its head, was sent reeling back through the open door. Shawn looked from it to back further into the room, and the shot cut to Jasmine rubbing her left wrist, now hatless and sporting a black eye.

" _Crikey_ that thing put up a fight," she commented before noticing Shawn dashing over with a concerned look on his face.

"Whoa, Jasmine, are you alright?" he asked her.

Jasmine snorted. "Yeah, I'll be fine. A bit sore maybe, but I guess that's what happens when you try fighting something made of metal. Not sure where my hat is, though," she said, feeling the top of her head. "Or my sundae, for that matter," she added, looking around with a frown.

"Don't worry, I've got them," Courtney said, attracting the attention of her comrades and the camera to the empty oil drum, which had tipped over at some point. Courtney stood up from behind it wearing Jasmine's hat and carrying a sundae in each hand, and walked over to the two survivalists. "Here, this one's yours," she said, offering the bowl in her right hand to Jasmine. "I can tell by how the ice cream is arranged, it's not as _professional_ as mine."

"...right," Jasmine said, giving her a look halfway between amusement and disbelief while accepting the bowl and returning her hat to its rightful place. "We'd better get what we came here for," she told Courtney and Shawn, crouching down to pick up some of the crushed nuts, soon joined by the others.

/

"Crap...," Scott muttered as the scene flashed back to him taking cover behind a rock, the mutant flower shooting fire at him. "I gotta figure out how to get past that thing, stall the others, and catch up to _Lightning_ before he wins."

He looked around in a panic, and the camera pulled back as he spotted something to reveal a fairly large stone sitting on the ground. "This'll have to do," he said, picking up the stone and abandoning his hiding spot. With a warbling battle cry he charged the plant, his ice cream held up high as he ran straight into a blast of fire. Though singed and smoking when the flame ended, Scott continued on and shoved the rock straight into the flower's 'mouth'. "Take," he coughed up a bit of soot, " _that_!" he told it before crouching down and scooping up some chocolate sauce.

Scott ran away cackling, leaving the plant to bulge and inflate as its fire built up, unable to get past the rock. The music peaked dramatically, and the fire flower exploded. A trio of gasps were heard as the smoke began to clear, a close-up of the edge of the smoldering pool showing three pairs of feet arriving. " _Seriously_?!" Courtney exclaimed as the camera pulled back to show her, Jasmine, and Shawn looking down in sheer disbelief. "What did Scott do _now_?!"

"Looks like he overcooked the chocolate sauce," Shawn said, getting down on one knee and scooping up a handful of blackened clumps. "We'll have to find some other topping," he added, dropping the lumps and standing back up, "unless you think the interns have a taste for coals."

"...well they _are_ hungry," Courtney said, looking down uncertainly at the smoldering remains of the pool.

"Not enough to eat _that_ ," Jasmine said with a scolding frown. "Besides, they'd just slow the interns down. We need something they can eat _fast_."

"There's some berry bushes on the way back," Shawn said. "We can grab some on the way and squeeze them for juice. Come on!" he said, waving for the girls to follow him as he ran off.

Jasmine quickly followed, but the camera lingered on Courtney as she hesitated. "...I _guess_ that'll work," she finally admitted before running off as well.

xxx

"For the record," Courtney told the outhouse camera in a calm and matter-of-fact tone, "I want it to be known that ignoring the chocolate sauce was _not_ my idea. If Chris decides to penalize us for not using it, then I fully expect Shawn and Jasmine to take responsibility. You know," she said, "once _Scott_ owns up to being the one to cause this in the first place."

xxx

The music became harsh and repetitive as the static gave way to Shawn, Courtney, and Jasmine racing down the path with their ice cream.

"Run faster!" Courtney shouted. "One of us _has_ to beat Scott, and there's no guarantee Lightning's still in the lead!"

A quick-pan ahead showed Lightning running along as well, apparently alone. "C'mon, almost there!" he told himself, before to his shock Scott came running up alongside him.

"Would ya look at that, a _shortcut_!" he yelled tauntingly, laughing as he passed the momentarily stunned uber-jock. The shot cut to him whooping in celebration as he crossed the finish line barely a step ahead of Lightning, Chris watching with an impish smile while Chef just stared and the two interns moaned hungrily.

"NO!" Jasmine, Courtney, and Shawn yelled as they crossed moments later.

"I _win_!" Scott exclaimed excitedly. "Eat up, intern!" he added, thrusting his bowl of ice cream under the male intern's nose.

"Surpri~ise!" Chris interrupted in a singsong voice, stepping over and earning Scott's attention. "Change of plans. You have to eat your _own_ sundaes," he explained over the tense opening bars of the ceremony theme, a pan across the faces of the others showing Courtney, Shawn, Jasmine, and Lightning all smiling at their bowls and voicing their relief and delight.

As the camera moved back to a panicked and angry Scott, Chris added "First to finish wins immunity." Scott glared as Chef stuck a spoon into his sundae, then moved along down the line to do the same for the others. "Everyone _else_ is on the chopping block. So," the female intern moaned in the background, "dig in!"

The shot immediately cut to Lightning, Jasmine, Shawn, and Courtney quickly digging in happily, then back to Scott as he looked at them nervously.

xxx

"Even after _everything_ I did to ruin their ice cream," Scott complained to the confessional camera, spreading his arms wide, "they're _still_ eating it? And _smiling_?!" He growled in frustration, throwing his arms up then crossing them irritably. "Looks like desperate times call for _drastic_ measures," he told the camera.

xxx

Another shot of the four non-villains showed them wordlessly and happily scarfing down their sundaes, then the scene panned back to Scott as he nodded in determination, then raised his bowl to his mouth.

He began to chug.

"Whoa-ho- _ho_ ," Chris laughed as the camera pulled back enough to show him and Lightning, "looks like Scott's pulling out all the stops on this one!" The comment caught the jock's attention, and he turned a wary gaze to the farmer even as both boys continued to eat. "The rest of you better hurry up if you wanna beat him!"

The focus moved back to the others four as they abandoned their spoons with nervous looks to one another and began to chug as well, but it was to no avail. "F-finished!" Scott called out to their shock and dismay, a cut back to him showing his eyes unfocused and his mouth lined with chocolate.

" _Boom_!" Chris said, a short tune of victory playing as Scott shakily raised his bowl and opened his mouth, both empty. "Just like that, Scott wins the challenge and immunity!"

Scott cheered weakly as the other four groaned and growled in anger, annoyance, and frustration. "Grr...I hope the brain freeze takes you out," Courtney snapped at him.

"Hah, like a little _headache's_ gonna-" Scott began to say before suddenly freezing up in an odd position. He stayed like that for only a moment before dropping to his knees, clutching his head, and screaming.

Courtney let out a single, bitter laugh.

"While Scott deals with enough brain freeze to make him never wanna see ice cream again," Chris told the others as he walked towards them, "the rest of you eat up. You're not getting anymore food until you finish what you thought was good enough to feed my interns."

The four looked at one another. "See, I _knew_ the berries were a good idea," Shawn commented before resuming his eating at a more leisurely pace.

"I guess so...," Courtney said, looking down at her bowl.

/

A tense tune played as the four losers walked together to the steps of the cabin, their bowls nowhere to be seen. "Man, Lightning can't _believe_ he failed to win today...," the jock said, stomping in frustration as they came to a stop. "And when everyone was sha-countin' on him, too."

"We _all_ failed to beat Scott...," Jasmine said.

"I guess there's nothing left to do but accept it, and hope whoever doesn't get voted out can get him next time," Shawn said as the camera cut in close to him, looking at Jasmine and clasping her hand.

"Yeah...," Jasmine said, meeting his eyes and smiling.

"Question is," Lightning said as the shot cut to him and Courtney, "who are they gonna be?"

"We should probably just do what we planned on doing at the Final Four," Courtney suggested. "Keep the pairs and force a tie. Though that means none of us is allowed to talk to Scott. He doesn't _deserve_ to have any influence over the vote."

"I don't think that'll be a problem," Shawn said, the shot cutting back to him and Jasmine as they looked over towards the spa hotel. A quick-pan over showed Scott walking towards it, drooping and groaning in pain. He bumped into the railing of the steps, and collapsed over it with another groan.

"Yeah, he's probably gonna be out of it for awhile," Jasmine said as the camera returned to her and Shawn.

"Good," Courtney said, her hands now on her hips as she and Lightning were shown looking towards the spa hotel as well. "With any luck he won't be able to guess who we're voting for."

xxx

"And I intend on making that guess as _difficult_ as possible," Courtney confessed, the camera oddly zoomed-in.

"Sha-really?" Lightning asked, the camera zooming back out to show him sitting to the left of Courtney. "How's that?"

"Simple," Courtney replied. "We just figure out who he _thinks_ we'll be voting for out of Shawn and Jasmine, and then vote for the other one."

Lightning's brow shot up, and he smiled. "Sha- _plan_!" he said, and the two high-fived.

xxx

"There's no _way_ Lightning doesn't have the idol," Shawn said, sharing the next confessional with Jasmine. "And Scott would wanna try to get it played while he has immunity."

"True," Jasmine replied, "but would he think _we'll_ vote for Lightning? We definitely don't wanna risk one of us going home because of the idol."

"Good point," Shawn told her with a short tilt of his head. "But then again, I don't think Scott would wanna vote out Courtney. I'm pretty sure he had some kinda crush on her or something."

"But what if he's mad enough to vote for her out of spite?" Jasmine pointed out.

Shawn raised an eyebrow, then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Another good point. _Man_ is it hard trying to figure out how Scott's gonna vote," he said, looking at Jasmine as she grabbed his hand. "But I'm glad I'm doing it with you."

Jasmine smiled softly. "Aww, me too," she told him.

They spent the rest of the confessional looking into each other's eyes.

xxx

A trio of quick, deep notes played over the traditional long-distance shot of the moonlit island. The scene soon cut to the campfire pit where the cast had gathered: Courtney and Lightning on the left, Shawn and Jasmine on the right, Scott all alone in the back row and still looking pained and haggard, and Chris standing by at his oil barrel podium.

"Elimination time!" the host announced as another deep note played. "Tonight, Scott has immunity despite the rest of you ganging up _specifically_ to stop him." The farmer laughed weakly, then held his head and groaned in pain again. "One of you is going home tonight," Chris continued as the camera panned back onto the front row. "Will it be Lightning or Jasmine, our physical powerhouses?" The two in question were shown looking nervous. "Or will it be Shawn, the last former winner left in the game?"

The shot cut to the boy in question, who was now trembling anxiously. "Hey, that shouldn't count against me!" he said.

Chris just shrugged. "How about Courtney then," he suggested, the shot cutting to the ex-CIT as she suddenly stiffened. "She was originally a villain after all, and a pretty cutthroat one too. Might be a good idea to get her out while the gettin's good."

Courtney glared at him. "Excuse me, but I've **changed** thank you very much."

"If you say so," the host shrugged again before straightening up and smiling. "But hey, it's not my call to make. It's _you_ guys', cause it's time to vote."

xxx

Scott opened his confessional with another pained groan, four photos spread out in his hands like playing cards. "Gotta...think...," he grunted. "No one'll vote for Lightning, so...gotta go with...Jasmine," he moved the photos to one hand and took out the marker, "she's the next biggest threat..."

As he moved in to make his mark, another brain freeze headache struck causing him to close his eyes with a wince. In his pain he allowed three of the photos to slip from his fingers, and blindly crossed out the one that remained.

"Urggh...," he said as he finally opened his eyes and saw what he'd done. "...crap...well, whatever, it's good enough..."

xxx

"Alright," Chris said as another trio of deep notes played, "I've tabulated the votes. Time to find out who's going home."

"Or who'll have to do a tiebreaker," Shawn spoke up.

Scott snorted, drawing all attention to him. "Like it's gonna come to that," he said. "It's either you or Outback Jas that's going home. Or did you forget about the idol that Thunder Boy or Courtney have?"

"What, this thing?" Lightning said, reaching into his pocket and taking out the idol – a few more deep notes playing as the camera zoomed in on it, clearly showing the line down the center where it had been cut apart and glued back together.

Only Chris gasped. "What _happened_ to it?!" he exclaimed in shock.

" _Izzy_ ," Lightning told him bluntly.

A devious grin formed on Scott's face, and he turned it towards Shawn and Jasmine. "See? Jockboy just has to play it for himself or give it to Courtney, and then one of you two is gone for sure. And if he _doesn't_ play it then you'll still have to worry about it tomorrow."

"Oh no," Lightning interjected with a shake of his head. "Lightning's _not_ gonna play this thing. Not tonight, and not ever."

Scott gasped.

"In fact," the jock continued, clutching the idol tightly and bringing it up to eye level, "after all the sha- _trouble_ this thing has caused he's gonna get rid of it!"

Scott's eyes bugged out, but he quickly regained his composure. "So what, you're just gonna toss it into the lake or something?"

Lightning shook his head again. "No way. Lightning knows that if he does that, you'll just go and fetch it like the dog you are. So instead..." The music peaked ominously as the shot zoomed in on the idol, Lightning tossing it into the air and the camera following it all the way into the campfire. "He's sha- _burnin_ ' it..." the jock said definitively as Scott and Chris gasped in alarm.

"The idol!" Scott exclaimed, the shot cutting back outward to show him and the host scrambling towards the fire pit.

"My beautiful _face_!" Chris cried out in horror, on his knees beside the pit but unable to reach into the flames. A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Uhh, excuse me," Courtney spoke up irritably, "but could you go back to doing your _job_ and read the votes?"

Chris sighed despondently and stood up. "Fine...," he said halfheartedly, his eyes still staring at the roaring fire. "Scott, Jasmine, and _Lightning_ ," he said the third name bitterly, "are all safe."

Shawn and Courtney looked at one another in determination and stood up as the elimination music began to quickly approach its peak.

"Bring on the tiebreaker, Chris," the scruffy survivalist said, not taking his eyes off his presumed opponent.

"Nope. You're out, Shawn," the host announced, finally taking his gaze away from the burning Chris Head Statue to look at the boy with annoyance. "Three votes to two."

Shawn groaned, and Jasmine cried out a despairing "No...!"

Both Courtney and Lightning were shown looking down and away with an awkward sadness, and the shot cut to Scott as he barked out another half-pained laugh. "Hey, looks like I got _lucky_ with my vote..." he said with a devilish smirk.

/

The scene rotated about a central axis to the Flush of Shame, the somber farewell theme playing as Shawn and Jasmine stood at the edge of the dock with Chris.

"I'm sorry it had to end this way," Shawn told Jasmine, her hands in his. "I was really hoping we could go all the way to the end together."

"Me too...," Jasmine said sadly. She took a deep breath, then asked "When this is all over...will you go out with me?"

"Yes," Shawn answered with a smile, and a touching tune played as Jasmine crouched down, he stood up on his toes, and they came together for a kiss.

The shot cut to Scott, Lightning, and Courtney further up the dock, the latter pair looking sad with Lightning even wiping away a tear. Scott snorted uncaringly, and the jock shoved him off-camera with a single hand.

"Now win this one for me," Shawn said, the camera cutting back to show him climbing into the massive toilet bowl as his girlfriend watched on sadly.

"I will," Jasmine replied just before her boyfriend was unceremoniously flushed. She gave the camera a rather distraught look as the toilet's backsplash washed over her, the host raising his umbrella to shield himself as always.

"Okay then," he said as a deep note ended the somber farewell song, the camera cutting to the side as he closed his umbrella and walked up the dock with Jasmine right behind him. "Congrats on making it to the Final Four," he said as they reached Courtney and Lightning. "Scott, the spa hotel is yours to share with Lightning and nobody else," he told the farmer as he stood back up and brushed himself off. "Because from now on," Chris continued as he walked past the four giving him questioning looks, "winners _can't_ take anyone along with them."

"A darn shame...," Scott said with a smirk as Lightning crossed his arms and huffed.

The camera cut back to Chris as he stepped onto the shore and stopped. "Only _four_ competitors remain," he told the camera as the Final Four filed past behind him. "Who's gonna stay, and who's gonna get flushed away? Find out next time, on an all-new Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The scene opened on some large body of water riddled with waves, the cries of seagulls in the background. The music rose dramatically along with a stream of bubbles, marking the arrival soon after of Shawn. Gasping for air the moment he hit the surface, he soon spluttered and looked around. "What the heck? How did I get here? Oh man, I better not have missed the zombie apocalypse while I was out..."

As he spoke to himself he remained unaware of the sound of crashing water rapidly approaching for several seconds, until he finally glanced backwards and gasped in alarm. The shot cut outward to show a large wave headed towards him, and while he desperately tried to swim away it didn't look like it was gonna be enough.

That is, until the whooping and hollering forms of Geoff and Bridgette arrived on surfboards, the party boy in front as he leaned down and scooped his friend from the water. "Whoa, dude! Great timing!" Geoff told Shawn.

"I'll say," the survivalist replied, clinging unsteadily to the taller boy. "What are you two even _doing_ here?"

Bridgette laughed as they passed through the barrel of the wave. "Picking you up, obviously."

"And catching some _gnarly_ Japanese tsunamis," Geoff added.

"I told you, tsunamis are something different," Bridgette corrected.

"Oh yeah," Geoff said with a somewhat blank look.

"Uh, that's nice and all," Shawn interrupted, "but _why_ are you picking me up? And how did you even know I was gonna turn up off the coast of Japan?"

Geoff and Bridgette looked at one another, then together said "Dawn."

"Yeah, apparently she found out something, like, _big_ is gonna go down at the finale," Geoff explained as their boards slowed, enough for the three to sit down on them.

"So she wanted all of us to be ready for it," Bridgette added. "Which has basically just meant us splitting up into pairs to go pick all the eliminated contestants up, but at least it's nice knowing that we're gonna be seeing everyone again pretty soon."

"...yeah," Shawn said with a smile. "I really hope Jasmine makes it all the way to the end..."

"Oh?" Bridgette said, smiling and raising a brow with interest. "I seem to recall you saying some good things about her after you did that cameo last year."

"Haha, yeah," Shawn said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and in doing so nearly falling off the surfboard. "She, uh, she kinda...asked me out. And I said yes."

The two blondes gasped in surprise and delight. "See?" Bridgette told her boyfriend. "I _knew_ this was gonna happen!"

"Sh'yeah, I shoulda known better than to doubt you Bridge," Geoff replied. "Sorry, dude," he told Shawn, "but you're kinda squirrelly when it comes to the relationship biz. I didn't think you'd _actually_ be willing to hook up. Heck, I think I just lost a bet with one of my buddies about it."

"Oh, uh, sorry?" Shawn replied awkwardly.

"No worries, bra," Geoff said with a wave of his hand. "Brody doesn't win many bets, so this'll probably make his day. Oh!" he said in sudden realization. "Hey, once this season is over, how about you and Jasmine and me and Bridge go on a double date?"

"Geoff, that's a _great_ idea!" Bridgette said excitedly. "I bet it'll be _amazing_."

"Yeah, sounds great," Shawn said with a smile. "Hey, so, uh, where exactly are we supposed to be going right now?" he asked.

Bridgette and Geoff shared another look. "Back to Canada on the next flight we can catch, I guess," Bridgette said.

"Shame we gotta cut the Japanese surfing trip short, but we totally gotta get back to the rest of our Total Drama peeps," Geoff added.

"Hey, fine with me," Shawn said. "The sooner I'm back in Canada, the sooner I can see Jasmine again."

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

Like many of you expected, it was finally Shawn's time to leave the show. Also as expected, he finally hooked up with Jasmine! I hope you all enjoyed seeing it finally happen.

As for the challenge...not much to say. Scott had to win, obviously, as I wasn't ready to get rid of him or have him steal the idol from Lightning. Still, things didn't quite go Scott's way - his attempts at sabotage didn't really mean much, the sudden rules change with the campers eating instead of the interns could have been his loss, and he ended up having to give himself some major brain freeze in order to win. Which, of course, then caused him to vote out Shawn by accident. Mostly because I didn't really feel like writing a tiebreaker challenge, but still.

Anyway, thus ends the saga of the idol. I didn't really want it to get involved in next episode, and since it wasn't needed for this episode I figured the best use was to show what Lightning was committed to, in terms of destroying the thing so it couldn't cause anymore trouble. I am admittedly unsatisfied with the scene, though; looking back I really should have given it more oomph and foreshadowed it a bit. Have Lightning take it out and question what he wanted to do with it, you know? Not entirely sure when, though. It may have been better to do last episode. But, well, that's a flaw I'll just have to live with for now, as I don't want to delay getting this chapter out any longer.

The Final Four have been decided. As I mentioned a few episode ago in a review response I think, I wanted all four of them to be seen as reasonable finalist choices. Sure, maybe not all combinations would work that well, but both in-story and within the context of the Total Shuffled series as fanfiction written by myself, all four of them are viable and deserving (in certain regards) contenders for a spot in the finale. Who will the Final Two actually be? Well, you'll just have to wait and see.

After all, it all depends on who gets which challenge next week.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)

Izzy - (7th Place)

Gwen - (6th Place)

Shawn - (5th Place)


	12. Chapter 12 - The Bold and the Booty-ful

**Author's Note**

Well folks, can you believe it? We're only a week away from the finale of Total Shuffled All-Stars! The episode itself is nearly finished - I'm at the Point of Divergence, meaning I basically only have the two ending to write. Trust me when I say that I've really enjoyed writing it so far, and that I really think it'll live up to the hype I've been building for it.

But this week, of course, is the semi-finals where the Final Four become the Final Two. It's another super-exciting episode that I think really benefited from Mike/Mal not being in the season, and I really hope you all enjoy it. Before then, there are reviews to be answered...

 **booboojohnson1:** Hmmm...yeah, probably, though no examples immediately spring to mind. But sometimes the needs of the story necessitate getting rid of a character sooner than I may have liked. Next season is probably going to be rife with this.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Haha, yeah, he was wasn't he? But like a lot of other people guessed, since he was already a finalist once before I didn't want him to get that far again. And since I want everyone left to be seen as equally valid finalist candidates...Shawn had to be eliminated.

 **CVluvFoxy:** ...wait, did you mean you were or weren't surprised by Scott's win and Shawn's elimination? Because the words and the tone don't really match up for me. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this week's episode regardless of what happens.

 **Animation Adventures:** Hah, well, I couldn't resist giving the dude a shout-out. I'm happy you enjoyed my version of the episode, and Scott's eventual win through playing dirty and pushing himself to the limit. Sometimes, you just gotta have the villain win like this. The team-ups were fun to write, as was invoking the running gag with Shawn again for what could possibly be the last time in the series. Anyway, it does mean a lot that you liked what I did with the idol considering how dissatisfied I was with the scene. I hope you enjoy the penultimate episode of the season.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Why thank you! I'm glad I was able to so vastly improve on what is largely considered to be one of the worst canon episodes. And yeah, even if Scott hadn't gotten brain freeze I think Courtney would've still won the tiebreaker, as I still would've wanted her in the Final Four. Scott accidentally being the third vote was mostly so I didn't have to write an extra challenge.  
As for this week's challenge...well, you're certainly right in that it all comes down to who gets what treasure to find, and I'm interested to see your reaction to it playing out. And don't worry, I came up with something good to get around the mansion being in one piece.

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thanks! Although there wasn't really much wrong with Scott's sundae. Just a little bit of grimy swamp water.

 **ashDanLand:** Yeah, I think Gwen's elimination was arguably one of the more shocking ones, especially in-universe. But I think I've done a better job of fleshing out her relationship with Courtney than canon did. And regarding you not liking Scott...well, to each their own. I think he brings an interesting perspective to the whole Villainy thing, especially with how his time in the Shuffledverse has gone. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have as the main villain of this season.

 **bruno14:** Wow, okay then! And I look forward to hearing what your top chapters of each season are. I'm glad you enjoyed the Courtney-Lightning team-up, it was really fun to write them and I don't think it's something that would ever really be possible in canon. I'm pretty happy with how I've developed both of them. Jasmine and Shawn were fun too, as I finally got them together even if once again it was in the episode one of them got eliminated in. As for Scott...well, I'm glad you liked him better last week, and I hope you enjoy what happens to him, and the others, this week.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Awesome, I'm glad you loved it! These last few episodes have been really fun to writ, lots of great moments between the remaining contestants and more. Interesting thoughts and predictions for the results of this week's challenge, I look forward to seeing your reaction to what happens. And I'm really happy you think this season is basically gonna be good no matter what happens from here on out.

 **I. M. Poik:** Hey, you know what really annoys me? The fact that I told you to drop it, and then you didn't actually drop it you got in one last little comment. I have just about lost my patience with you.

 **VIPGuest:** Did you? I don't recall you mentioning Scott winning what would become last week's challenge in your previous review.

 **TotalDramaSageOrSannin:** Yeah, I think other will too. But sadly, it was just his time to go. At least fifth place isn't terrible, and more importantly he got himself a girlfriend. I'm glad you enjoyed the Lightning-Courtney team-up, and even though I don;t quite like the scene myself I am happy I did something different with the idol.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Hmm, well, I suppose you'll just have to wait until next week to find out for sure. Pretty simple predictions regarding Scott's fate this time, though I do look forward to seeing your reaction to what happens.

 **DSX62415:** Yeah, the canon episode was just like a massive attempt to humiliate Courtney over and over again, it was completely off-putting. But since Shawn was the one getting eliminated, I had no reason to do the same.

 **crossoversfanTJ:** Yeah, Shawn's great and all but I wanted the Final Four to be people who hadn't gotten to the finale yet. As for this week's chapter...well, I will at least confirm the double elimination. I'll also say that since Ezekiel already appeared in Ella's bonus clip, he won't be appearing to pick anyone else up. Interesting analysis and predictions regarding the Final Four, and I hope you enjoy what happens!

 **P. T. Piranha:** Yeah, it was probably a little predictable, so sorry for ruining the suspense for you. Hopefully this week's episode will make up for it. But still, I'm glad you enjoyed the callbacks and what happened with the idol, and I hope you enjoy the surprises in store this week.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thank you, I hope you had fun at camp and I hope you like this week's episode.

 **Star Saber21:** Haha, yeah, classic Shawn. Except for the girlfriend part, that's new for him in this universe, but completely welcome.I was pretty happy when I realized I would be able to have them hook up this season. I'm glad I surprised you with some of last week's twists, and I hope the ones this week will be just as good.

 **OMAC001:** Well, I suppose you'll just have to read on and find out!

 **link9753:** Yeah, the elimination wasn't the most shocking one I've done though it did still surprise some people. Not much else to say, interesting thoughts on this chapter's eliminations and I look forward to your next review.

 **icetundra:** Sorry to disappoint you then, but I just felt it was Shawn's time to go. He is still the furthest-placing former winner though. Also sorry the episode felt a little bland to you...but, well, I don't think the same will be true of the last two episodes of the season. I am glad you've been enjoying Lightning, though. I hope you like this last little bit of build-up before the finale.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Lol I had actually completely forgotten about Scarlett lusting over Justin until you mentioned it just now. But yeah, maybe she's bi, I don't know. It has actually been awhile since I've re-read my Amy/Scarlett interactions, so maybe you're on to something there.  
And...yeah, the canon version of last week's episode really wasn't the best. And it's really the whole 'Courtney humiliation train' that makes it so bad for me, since before then Courtney was developing pretty well. And then...everything gets ruined in order to make her unsympathetic enough that her boot feels deserved. I get what you mean about the dream sequences being jarring, though even in the Shuffledverse I've been using them now and again as I see fit - Shawn's one back in season one was the first, I think. They're strange given the alleged format of the show, but sometimes you just need to be able to see inside someone's head to really understand what's going on with them. And hey, at least I haven't been doing those types of scenes as much as canon All-Stars did.  
Regarding the team-up to take down Scott, yeah I can see why you wouldn't like it, but it just seemed like what had to be done. And at least I didn't make it feel too much like bullying. And like I said last week, I knew the idol-burning scene wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, but I just didn't or couldn't find a good place to foreshadow it.  
Anyway, I'm happy you enjoyed Scott's little bit of development last week, as well Courtney's. And, you know, Lightning and Jasmine and Shawn. Interesting predictions for the lead-up to the finale, and I greatly anticipate your next review.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Oh yeah, this is definitely one of Shawn's best seasons, made even better by him and Jasmine becoming an item. And I certainly agree that they're one of the top canon couples; I really do hope that they're still together if we ever see them again. And yeah, Scott is easily in one of the worst places as everyone hates him and he'll have to actually win the challenge if he wants to move on to the finale. And...I will say right now not to hold your breath since the idea of a three-person free-for-all finale didn't even occur to me.  
Regarding Courtney/Lightning...I won't lie, I've been somewhat seeing it lately, but it might just be because I've developed them both into pretty genuinely good people and as such they do actually work well together. I don't know if I'd actually have them get together.  
I'm really glad you liked what I decided to do with the idol, considering my feelings about the quality of the scene. And you're exactly right about why he did it - he knew there was gonna be at least one more elimination, and he didn't want to either have to decide to save himself at the expense of a friend, or cause a rift among them.  
With that said, I hope you enjoy what happens next and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about it.

 **Jaspher 4 Me:** Yeah, pretty much. Once you've won, you're done getting to finales. And yeah, brain freeze...isn't pretty. I'm glad you enjoyed the episode, and I hope you like this one as well.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Lol you actually got this in with plenty of time to spare, I saw it right after I finished replying to Gage's review. And honestly, it being a fun chapter that did what it was supposed to do is just about the best i could hope for given who had to be eliminated. I'm glad you enjoyed the Courtney-Lightning partnership, they were really fun to write which I guess is a testament to how far I've managed to take them since I'm pretty sure they wouldn't get along in canon. The other three have been great too, of course, and you're right that since Ezekiel already showed up in a bonus clip he wouldn't show up again.  
Interesting analysis of all the potential this week's episode holds, from the possible finalists to the replacement for the blown-up cottage to Fang's presence. I look forward to seeing your thoughts and reaction to what I decided to do with all of them.

And that's that for now, at least. Next week will be the last time I publicly answer review for this particular season, so keep that in mind. Now, as you all know, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. A lot of great work has already been put into it, but with a new season comes so many new things to add. I'm looking forward to seeing what you all take from the story and add to the page!

Our illustrious Final Four are as follows, though I doubt anyone has forgotten:

Boys: Lightning, Scott

Girls: Courtney, Jasmine

Two of them will fall today, two of them will move on. Who will they be, and why? Read on and find out, and enjoy.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 12 – The Bold and the Booty-ful**

"Last time, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris began, the recap montage leading off with clips of the Final Five racing down a forest path as they headed towards their ice cream, followed by Courtney fleeing in terror from the Total Drama Machine. "The Final Five went on a slippery, saucy, sundae shopping spree with extra 'are you _nuts_?!'" Lightning and Scott screamed and ducked out of the way of a fire flower's blast; Scott jumped back down the snowy slope of the thousand-foot cliff after procuring his ice cream and slid past Courtney and Lightning; Scott placed a cherry on top of his sundae; Shawn accidentally angered a hairless bear; and Jasmine, Shawn, and Courtney picked up crushed nuts off the mess hall floor.

"Speaking of _slips_ ," Courtney, Lightning, Shawn, and Jasmine were shown making their deal, "four of the campers made a deal to take out Scott, only to slip _up_ when Scott started playing dirty." The farmer's eyes were shown narrowing angrily as he looked at his partially melted sundae, then the footage skipped forward to show Jasmine and Courtney arriving to find the bowl of cherries gone. Scott was shown knocking the bowl of crushed nuts to the floor next, and then causing the fire flower to explode thus ruining the pool of chocolate sauce.

"So despite all their best efforts," Courtney was shown kicking Scott in the crotch, Shawn passing him on the snowy slope, and Lightning getting past the fire flower while Scott tried to put himself out; "Scott _still_ managed to win the challenge." The farmer was shown crossing the finish line, then holding up his empty sundae bowl. "Aaaaand, a lifetime's worth of brain freeze too," Chris added with a mocking laugh as the villain succumbed to the pain.

"And thanks to him, _Shawn_ got the watery boot," Shawn was shown being flushed, "but not before sharing a special moment with Jasmine," the host added as the pair's parting kiss was shown.

"Four players remain," Chris said as the montage ended, the scene flashing to him on the dock under the starry night sky, "but not for long." A loud wet fart came from off-screen, causing Chris to laugh awkwardly and rub the back of his neck. "Okaaaayy... Who's going to the finale," he asked before another fart interrupted him. "And _who's_ going to get a bacterial infection if someone doesn't stop using the Flush of Shame?!" he asked angrily towards the toilet, the camera moving backward to show it being used by none other than Sasquatchanakwa.

The yeti lowered the newspaper it was reading and growled at the host. **"** Seriously bro," Chris told it, completely unintimidated, "we put _people_ in there!"

He resumed his usual smile as the camera cut back in for a close-up. "It's all-or-nothin' time," he told it. "Right here on Total! Drama! _All-Stars!_ "

One last loud, wet fart echoed over the lake, leading to a disgusted "Eeeewwwwww!" from Chris.

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

It was still night as the episode opened, the camera zooming in slowly to the steps of the loser cabin where Jasmine was sitting, her head in her hands. Courtney was standing behind her with a slightly awkward expression.

"I can't believe Shawn's gone," Jasmine sighed. "I was really looking forward to going to the finale with him."

"Again, I'm sorry me and Lightning voted for him," Courtney told her. "I really didn't think Scott would vote for him too."

Jasmine sighed again. "It's fine. Both of us were prepared to go home, but it's just.."

"...just hard to bare when it actually happens right?" Courtney said, sitting down next to Jasmine and putting a hand on the taller girl's shoulder.

"Exactly," Jasmine sniffed.

xxx

Jasmine began her confessional with a deep breath. "I have to stay _strong_ ," she told the camera. "I'm almost at the end again, and I'm not gonna let my sadness over Shawn's elimination hold me back or distract me. I promised him that I would win this competition, and I don't wanna let him down. Or Harold either," she added, "not after he sacrificed himself to keep me in the game. And," she paused, looking down at her hands as she clasped them on her lap, "I wanna win for my _self_ , too."

"One of the main reasons I came back on the show was to make up for my loss last year, and I've almost succeeded. Sure, I may not have as solid an ally _now_ as I did _then_ ," she admitted, looking away from the camera, "but there's no _way_ I won't survive tomorrow's elimination ceremony. Scott's not winning immunity again, even if I have to pin him to the ground myself to stop him from doing anything. After that," she smiled, "I'll just have to beat Courtney and Lightning in the Final Three challenge. Well," she put a finger to her lips in thought, "either that or hope they have some kind of falling out and one of them decides to go with _me_ to the end instead."

"It's a bit annoying that Lightning decided to end his alliance with me in favor of one with Courtney, especially given all the worries Shawn and I had leading up to Gwen's elimination" she told the camera, looking down with a somewhat hurt expression before looking back up at it with a forced smile, "but it's what we _all_ agreed to yesterday. It didn't work out for me, but I'm not really in a position to complain. Like I said, I just gotta stay strong and keep trying to win."

xxx

Courtney opened her confessional with a longing sigh. "I thought things were gonna be _easier_ this time," she said without looking at the camera. "I thought that as long as I made up with Gwen and stayed calm around the others, I'd have a clear path to victory. But my plans have been falling apart all season. First I change teams right when I gain some control over the Villains, then it takes me so long to get back to being friends with Gwen. And even when I do, she _still_ gets voted out because I messed up, and then my plan to get back at the person responsible fails too. Scott's still here, and while I'm gonna do everything I can to keep him from winning immunity again, I just don't know where that'll lead me."

She took a deep breath. "Not to mention the fact that I'm actually feeling _guilty_ for voting out Shawn. I never signed up to feel _guilt_ , not over someone I barely ever talked to!" she looked up to tell the camera with an almost despairing look. "Someone I actually _like_ , sure, but this is a _game_ , I thought I'd be able to vote people out without caring just like I did last year!"

Courtney looked down and shook her head. "Have I really changed that much?" she asked softly.

She shook her head more vigorously, and gave the camera an intense glare. "Whatever, I don't care if I have or haven't. All that matters to me right now are making sure Scott loses, and then making sure I _win_ like I promised Gwen. I suppose that means I _will_ have to beat Lightning in the finale," she said, looking up and tapping her chin before shrugging, "but no matter. Jasmine would be even _worse_ for me, at least I can _outsmart_ Lightning."

xxx

"Okay, after some, like, rough patches and not really bein' too sure of himself," Lightning began, "Lightning thinks he's finally gettin' the hang of this again. And _good_ , too, cause he's only a couple challenges away from the finale. Heck, by this time tomorrow he'll have done about as well as he did in season two!" he exclaimed excitedly. "Of course," he added, tilting his head to the side slightly, "if it hadn't been for that dang sha-cheater _Scarlett_ he woulda made the finale back then. But since he didn't, he's finally built up the _drive_ to go all the way to the top! Sha- _bam_!" He struck a pose with his left arm extended and his right flexing.

His fervor faded slightly as he crossed his arms. "Now, Lightning ain't really the type to get all reflectiomanative, but _man_ has he come along way since then. Heck, he's a sha-bona fide _hero_ now! Got that girl Izzy wantin' him to win for her and everything. Of course," he smirked confidently, "he already got a load of fans back home that are rootin' for him to win. Plus he's gotta make his _Pops_ proud too. Bein' a champion of every sport ever is great and all, but bein' all that _and_ a reality show champ too?" he said with a knowing look, then whistled. " _Dang_ that's talent. Maybe even on Pops' level!"

xxx

"Look," Courtney told Jasmine as the scene finally cut back to the two of them on the porch of the loser cabin, "I know you're feeling bad right now, but it'll pass."

Jasmine nodded. "I know. Just gotta get a good night's sleep and I'll be back at full in the morning."

"That's the spirit," Courtney smiled.

"Dang right it is," came the voice of Lightning, both girls looking up before the shot cut outward to show the jock walking towards them. "Just remember that we're gonna be comin' at you with all we got in these next few challenges. You ain't gonna have _time_ to feel sad."

Jasmine chuckled. "Yeah, I know. Just keep that in mind for yourself when I start winning," she said, a confident and competitive smile forming on her face.

"Oh I _will_ ," Lightning replied with a similar expression.

"Uh, not to interrupt anything," Courtney said, looking between Jasmine and Lightning, "but what are you even doing out here? I thought Chris said you still had spa hotel access."

"Yeah, but Lightning can't enjoy it while _Scott's_ there too," the uber-jock said, casting a dirty look back over his shoulder. "So he thought he'd come and see what you girls were doin'."

Courtney and Jasmine shared a look. "We're just talking about some things," Jasmine told him. "You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

The shot cut back to Lightning as he smiled. "Sha-deasy," he replied before walking over to the railing of the stairs. "So what's happenin'? You two as excited for the challenge tomorrow as Lightning is?"

"I think I'll save my excitement for when _Scott's_ in the toilet where he belongs," Courtney replied bitterly. "He _needs_ to go away."

"Well I don't think he has it in him to win two challenges in a row," Jasmine pointed out. "And as long as he doesn't, I'm onboard for voting him out."

"Really?" Courtney questioned. "Even though that would meaning going up against me _and_ Lightning in the Final Three?"

Jasmine shrugged. "Better than risking _Scott_ getting to the finale."

"Yeah, cause you know I'll _win_ when that happens," came the nasally voice of Scott, a deep note playing as the other three looked over and glared. The shot moved backward once again, showing the farmer approaching with a rather casual air about him.

"What do _you_ want," Courtney asked, her gaze narrow and angry.

"Oh nothing," Scott told her, his smirk still on his face. "Just figured I'd take a nice little stroll around camp."

"Well then why don't you _stroll_ all the way into the Flush of Shame," Courtney told him.

He snickered. "Sorry Princess, but I don't plan on going _anywhere_ right now. You're just gonna have to deal with it. And hey, I'm in the Final Four just like you guys, why wouldn't I wanna come down and have a chat?"

Another deep note played over a close-up of Courtney's continued glare.

"Just ignore him," Jasmine advised, the shot pulling back as she put a hand on Courtney's shoulder. "He can't do anything to us."

"That's right," Lightning chimed in, his arms crossed and his narrow eyes giving the farmer a sideways glance. "Just focus on the _prize_ you're playin' for."

Courtney sniffed. "True," she said. "Pretty soon I'll win the million dollars, and then I'll be able to go to whatever law school I like and build a mansion with the money leftover. And maybe even start my own practice, too, if I don't go corporate anyway."

"Figures a pretty girl like _you_ would have a pretty lofty goal," Scott told her. "I bet you could pull it off, though."

"Save the _flattery_ , Dirt Breath," Courtney shot back at him. "We all know you'd just waste the money on something _useless_. Not like you'll even win it."

"Hey, I'll have you know I plan on building a mansion too," Scott told her. "A big one, with lots of servants to wait on me hand and foot. _Pretty_ servants," he clarified with a lecherous smile.

" _Pig_ ," Courtney muttered.

Scott crossed his arms and looked away. "I'll take that as a _compliment_."

The shot cut to Lightning and Jasmine, the latter smiling almost excitedly. "Well, _I've_ always dreamed of owning my own business," she told the others. "A flower shop and cage-fighting school called 'Roses Are Red, Bruises Are Blue'," she said, raising a hand and waving it in a slow, revelatory manner.

A flat noted played as the others cringed, Courtney and Lightning even looking at one another while Jasmine was looking down.

" _Hah_!" Scott barked out a laugh. "Yeah, good luck with _that_ idea."

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with my plan for the money," Jasmine shot back, taking offense.

"Umm...," Courtney spoke up hesitantly, drawing Jasmine's attention and look of worry and hurt. "Just...make sure you think through _every_ aspect of your business plan first. Most businesses fail in their first year, after all," the ex-CIT explained, not meeting the other girl's eyes. "Plus," Courtney finally looked back though winced the moment she met Jasmine's gaze, "you _might_ wanna rethink the name."

xxx

"It's probably the _worst_ name I've ever heard," Courtney confessed. "The whole plan is pretty bad as it is, I mean a _flower shop_ and _cage-fighting school_? It'll be hard enough to get enough customers with a _good_ name. She'll thank me later for the good business advice," Courtney said, puffing herself up with haughty pride.

xxx

"Oh...," Jasmine said softly, looking down with concern, disappointment, and thoughtfulness on her face.

"So, uh," Courtney said hastily as the camera moved back to her, "what are you gonna do with the million if you win, Lightning?"

"Hmm, good question," the jock admitted as the shot cut to him scratching his head. "Lightning hasn't given that any thought in a while. Probably cause once he hits the big leagues he'll have all the million dollars he can dream of."

"So what are you even playing for if not the money?" Scott asked in angry disbelief.

"The title, I guess," Lightning answered with a shrug. "After losing four times in three seasons, when he wins at pretty much everything else he does, Lightning just wants to be able to say he _finally_ got the victory, you know what I'm sayin'?"

The other three became quiet, and the girls shared a look. "Yeah, I think I do," Jasmine said.

"Same here," Courtney said. "Even without the money...winning still means a lot."

The camera panned to Scott as he looked away with an awkward frown. "...I guess it kinda does," he admitted.

xxx

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still in this for the money most of all," Scott told the outhouse camera. "Lightning just reminded me of how good winning's gonna feel when I finally do it. Especially with how good making the _merge_ felt. After two seasons of failure and disrespect, proving that I have what it takes to manipulate my way to victory will make _all_ of it worthwhile. I said at the start of the season that after getting eliminated a quarter through the first time I played, and halfway through the second, it's only natural that I make it to the end of the third. Having that _actually_ about to come true, and knowing that I was right for once, is just about the greatest feeling in the _world_ right now," he said, trembling with excitement.

"Only problem is getting myself past these last few _obstacles_ ," he continued, his excitement fading into bitterness. "You can bet that the others are gonna gang up on me again, and even though I'll _try_ to get Jasmine on my side I'm not gonna count on it happening. Which means that unless I can pull an ally out of a magic hat, I'll have to pull out all the stops and win the challenge again."

Just then, he cringed and held his head in pain. "I just hope this stupid _brain freeze_ will be gone by tomorrow morning...," he groaned.

xxx

"Goooooood _morning_ , Final Four!" Chris announced over the loudspeaker, a drumline opening for an intense background score as the sun rose over the common area. "Gather on the dock, pront-o-roo-nio!" The shot cut to an upward angle on the loudspeaker itself before the host continued. "Iiiiiit's _crunch_ time!" he said as a bird flew singing past in the background. "And by that, I mean you're about to get crunched." He laughed.

The Final Four were shown walking onto the Dock of Shame, the camera cutting in closer as Scott caught up to Jasmine. "So, uh, you sleep good?" he asked awkwardly as she glared at him.

"Yeah, I did," she said tersely. "I'm all rested up and ready to _crush_ you in today's challenge."

"Haha, yeah...," Scott laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "Uh, about that. I was wondering if maybe you'd be up to working _with_ me instead of _against_ me this time. You know, band together and force a tie with Courtney and Lightning. Play fair and all that junk, err, _stuff_..."

"And what would _you_ know about playing fair?" Jasmine told him accusingly.

"Well, okay, not much," Scott conceded, still rubbing the back of his head. "But you gotta admit, your chances are better if I'm in the Final Three with you."

Jasmine wheeled around on him, bending down and thrusting a finger at his chest. "My _chances_ aren't what I'm concerned about."

Scott gulped nervously.

xxx

"See?" he told the outhouse camera. "I _knew_ it wouldn't work."

xxx

"Ahoy maties!" Chris said in a pirate accent, a jaunty pirate song beginning in the background as he approached the dock on the end of the Boat of Losers. "Come to me, faithful bird!" he added in his normal voice as they reached the dock. He hopped of the boat, and the camera panned over to its cabin as Chef Hatchet emerged wearing a bright and garish parrot suit.

"Man, I look ridiculous..." he muttered.

"Oh come on," Chris told him, "stop frowning. You look great and you know it."

Chef just snorted in contempt.

"Hey, if you don't wanna be here, then-" Chris began before Chef walked back into the boat's cabin, turned the engine back on, and pulled away. "THAT ISN'T WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY!" the host yelled as a short dramatic riff played.

He sighed as he walked over to the Final Four. "Sorry about that. I think Chef's mad because he hasn't had much to do lately. Plus he doesn't even get to stay in my cottage like I do."

"Don't you mean _mansion_ ," Courtney said dryly.

"No, I don't," Chris replied harshly. "Anyway, to brighten things up a bit around here I've come up with a special challenge," he said, the campers exchanging wary looks. "Your mission? To retrieve one of four valuable pieces of _pirate loot_ stashed somewhere on the island."

Scott scoffed. "Pfft, as if there's anything _valuable_ around here."

Chris huffed in offense. "There's _plenty_ if you know what you're _lookin' for_!" he exclaimed in his pirate voice, a jaunty sea shanty playing in the background.

xxx

" _Please_ ," Courtney told the outhouse camera, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. "This is Chris we're talking about. Anything _he_ considers valuable must have his _face_ plastered all over it. Making it _actually_ worthless."

xxx

"To determine who searches for what," the host continued as he walked past the Final Four, the camera quick-panning down to a covered table at the other end of the dock upon which four small treasure chests sat, "each player will choose _one_ of these four treasure chests," he said as he reached the table and motioned to the chests. "Arrrrr-hrr-hrr!" he growled like a pirate, another sea whistle playing in the backround.

"Scott, as the winner of the last challenge," the shot cut to the Final Four as the farmer smiled darkly, "you get to go first."

"Alright," Scott said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation as he walked down the dock. He opened the chest on the far right, reached in, and immediately withdrew his hand with a wail of pain.

A few dramatic notes played over a close-up of the snapping turtle that was biting him. "Excellent!" Chris said as Scott tried to pry the turtle from his hand, the camera focusing on a card rising out of the chest that depicted one of the golden statuettes handed out in season two. "Scott, you must bring me the long-lost original Gilded Chris statuette," the host explained.

"Okay, so where is it?" Scott asked with a grunt as he finally dislodged his attacker and threw it into the lake.

"If I knew it wouldn't be 'long lost', now would it?" Chris countered, earning a frown from the farmer.

xxx

"Great, I might as well be looking for a golden needle in an island-sized haystack," Scott complained to the outhouse camera. "It's like he _wants_ me to lose!" he said, throwing up his arms in objections before crossing them defiantly. "Well you know what? I'm not _gonna_."

xxx

/

Lightning was up next, and his lips were pursed in annoyance as he reached for the second chest from the left. Electricity surged through him the moment it was open. "Sha- _ouch_...," he said, rubbing his hand in pain as a card bearing a red footprint popped out of the chest.

"Lightning, _you_ must bring me the _yeti_ ," Chris told the jock.

"Pfft, no biggie," Lightning scoffed, walking back to join the others. "Ain't no _ape-man_ gettin' the best of Lightning."

xxx

"Not to sound arrogant or nothin'," Lightning confessed with a confident smirk, "but Lightning has this in the bag. The only hard part is findin' it! And once that's done, he's just gotta trust himself to bring it back home."

xxx

Third was Courtney, who approached the second chest from the right with caution. A few deep notes struck as she opened it to no apparent effect, only for her to hesitantly lean over and look inside and received a spring-loaded boxing glove to the face for her trouble. "Perrr-fect!" Chris said as the ex-CIT toppled over backwards, and the camera cut in close to show the picture of a diamond taped to the glove.

"You must bring me the McLean Diamond," he explained. "Which can be found on or near the abandoned pirate ship." The shot cut to Courtney, sitting up and rubbing her head in pain. "Which just happens to be guarded by our old pal, _Fang_ ," he added impishly.

Courtney's eyes popped open, and her expression fell into an unamused glower. "Great...," she muttered. "Why do _I_ have to fight the shark while _Scott_ just has to find some stupid statue?" she asked indignantly, motioning back towards the others.

"Hey, it's not like pirates were known for being fair," Chris pointed out, still smiling impishly. Courtney just grumbled angrily to herself.

"Guess the last one's mine, then," Jasmine said as she walked over to the chest on the far left. "What've you got for me?" she asked, looking down at the chest.

"Nice try, but the choice isn't official until you see for yourself," Chris told her.

Jasmine sighed. "Fine," she said, opening the final chest. From it came a card bearing a blue image of the host's wide grin...and a blast of black pepper straight into her face. "Seriously?!" Jasmine exclaimed before sneezing.

Chris laughed at her. "Hey, be glad you got the best one. You get to go to my cottage-"

" _Mansion_ ," Courtney corrected from off-screen.

" _Cottage_ ," Chris corrected again with a glare, "and bring back the most valuable portrait of _moi_." He pointed vainly to himself.

Jasmine gave him a wary and suspicious look. "And what's the catch?" she asked before sneezing again.

Chris just laughed again. "Oh...there shouldn't be any 'catch'...if you're _lucky_ ," he answered ominously.

xxx

"Well," Jasmine considered, a finger to her lips and her eyes looking up and to the side, "even though I'm ' _only_ ' supposed to be looking for art, I'm guessing this is gonna be another challenge I'll have to muscle through. Oh well," she shrugged, punching her fist into her open hand. "Whatever Chris throws at me, I can handle."

xxx

"Helpful hint," Chris told the four, all of them now gathered in front of the table of chests, "think fast and work even faster because _two_ of you are going home today."

The music that had been trilling ominously rolled into something more dramatic as the Final Four gasped in shock. "Hold on, what about the Final _Three_?" Courtney asked.

Chris laughed. "Yeah, we're skipping it this year," he said. "Whoever comes back last, or _worse_ , empty-handed, goes _directly_ to the Flush of Shame." The shot cut to Jasmine and Courtney as they listened intently. "Whoever brings back their loot first wins a guaranteed spot in the finale," the girls shared a surprised look, and the camera panned over to the boys doing the same, "aaaa~aaand, gets to select which of the remaining two walks the plank into the Big John tonight."

"All clearrrrr?" he asked, once again adopting a pirate accent as the jaunty sea tune played again. "On your marrrrk!" The four didn't budge, and he sighed. "Oh, just go," he told them, taking out his airhorn and blowing it as a grandly dramatic tune played.

/

The scene flashed to the old half-built pirate ship set used for the first part of the aborted season two finale.

"Might as well check there first," Courtney told herself, the camera zooming in and panning left to show her jumping from stone to stone on the way to the ship.

The footage skipped ahead to her cautiously poking her head out onto the deck from stairs leading up from inside the ship. Her wide eyes darted around while she kept one hand on the wall, and yelped in surprise when Chris' voice came – loudly and without warning – over the camp loudspeaker.

"AND COURTNEY'S THE _FIRST_ TO REACH HER PIRATE LOOT ZONE!" the host announced, the girl he'd startled looking up to see a pair of speakers attached to the ship's main mast. "THE _HEAT_ IS _ON_! I HOPE MY LOUD VOICE ISN'T GETTING FANG'S ATTENTION!"

"Well I don't see how it _couldn't_ ," Courtney hissed angrily, still standing warily at the top of the stairs.

"THEY'RE CALLED LOUDSPEAKERS FOR A _REASON_ ," Chris told her. "DEAL WITH IT!"

Just then the shot cut to the two bathrooms on the other end of the deck as a toilet flushed. The wooden door on the left swung open with a squeak, and Fang stepped out from within. He grinned, though not as wide as usual.

Courtney gulped. "Umm...nice shark?" she said warily, trying not to panic as she held out her hands in a calming gesture. "I don't want any trouble, I'm just here to find a diamond. Okay?"

A couple sharp notes played as Fang opened his mouth wider, revealing the shining jewel stuck to his teeth. Courtney inhaled sharply.

xxx

"Great, the shark _ate_ the diamond," Courtney complained in the confessional. "What am I supposed to do _now_?!" she asked, throwing her arms up in frustration.

xxx

A sharp, dramatic tune played as the static cut back to Courtney screaming and scrambling back down the stairs to the lower part of the ship as Fang ran at her.

/

The music faded out as the scene flashed to a close-up of a trail of large humanoid footprints in the dirt. "Man, where's that yeti when you need him?" Lightning asked, the camera pulling back to show him following along the tracks but looking everywhere but at them.

"Lightning is zeroing in on the yeti," Chris announced, drawing the camera and the jock's attention to a nearby loudspeaker. "But, bringing him back might be a _bit_ harder, especially if he hears Lightning coming."

"Huh," Lightning said, the camera cutting back to him as he looked towards the loudspeaker then back at the trail, finally noticing the tracks. "Well I'll be sha- _dipped_. Guess I am on the right track after all!"

He hustled down along the path.

/

"Okay, almost there," Jasmine said as the scene flashed to her running along a stretch of beach close to the forest. "Just gotta figure out which is the most valuable portrait of Chris and bring it back!" The camera zoomed in on her face as, after a few seconds, it scrunched up in confusion.

xxx

"How _exactly_ do I figure out what's the most valuable?" Jasmine asked the outhouse camera. She frowned, then gave it an almost hopeful look. "Well...maybe it'll be obvious when I see it?"

xxx

"And Jasmine reaches my beloved cottage," Chris announced, sighing happily as Jasmine walked up the dock leading to the former resort's front door. " _Don't break anything_ ," he added sternly as she opened the door.

"Well _obviously_ ," Jasmine said, looking back as she stepped inside.

A few dramatic notes played as the camera moved behind her, showing the hall she was stepping into and all the varied portraits of Chris that lined the walls.

"Umm...," she said, looking around uncertainly as the viewpoint moved back to the side and she walked further into the brightly-lit entrance hall, "okay, this might be a _little_ harder than I thought." She paused to look around, and rested her hand against the wall right between two nearly-identical paintings.

Suddenly, the entire section of the wall pushed in like a rotating door, and Jasmine gasped as she fell into the darkness beyond. The wall rotated back around, a different painting showing on an otherwise identical section of wall.

A beep, and a pause sign appeared over the scene.

/

The camera backed away to show the footage being watched by Chris in the control room. He laughed deviously to himself, and rubbed his hands together. "Oh man, I've been wanting to do something like this _forever_ ," he said giddily as the capstone theme began to play. "What kind of secrets does my cottage hold?" he asked the camera. "Will Jasmine be able to handle them, and will _anyone_ survive this challenge? Stick around and find out, on Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

Another round of deep, dramatic notes reopened the background score as the episode resumed on an exterior shot of the 'cottage'.

"Where _am_ I?" Jasmine asked in confusion, the shot cutting to her walking to the left inside what looked like some kind of library. It was, of course filled with portraits and busts of Chris in various outfits and styles. "How did I get in this room?"

She turned around, and the camera panned over to show only a wall behind her, baring a familiar smiling portrait of the host.

Jasmine shook her head. "Whatever," she said to herself. "Probably just some stupid trick."

She promptly slipped and fell on her back with a startled yelp, the camera cutting in for a close-up. "What the heck?" she asked in confusion as the furniture behind her began to move rapidly to the right. A few hectic notes played as the camera pulled back out, revealing that she was on a section of moving floor. "What _is_ this place?"

The familiar sound of Chris' laughter rang through the room. "It's my cottage, remember? It's _filled_ with things to make my life more convenient, as well as a whole _bunch_ of fun security systems designed to deter intruders. Guess which ones are active right now?"

"...whichever ones will make my life more miserable?" Jasmine asked, now being carried through another portrait-lined hallway.

Chris laughed again. "You catch on quickly," he told her. "Oh, and by the way," he said calmly...right before the moving floor came to a sudden stop and a screaming Scott dropped out of the ceiling onto Jasmine. "You aren't the only one here."

"Urrr...I noticed," Jasmine said irritably, readjusting her hat and shoving the farmer off her.

"Uggh... What the heck, man?" Scott asked angrily, standing up and dusting himself off. "Those weird trapdoors and moving walls weren't here back in season one!"

"Oh, they were," Chris corrected. "I just never had a reason to use them since you _losers_ were supposed to stay off-camera." A click signaled the end of his transmission.

Jasmine snorted. "Great. Probably has everything rigged up to run by remote control. I'm _never_ gonna find what I want now." She began to walk along the corridor. "He's basically _trying_ to make me lose."

Scott snorted. "At least what _you're_ looking for isn't 'long lost'," he said with proper air quotes as he followed Jasmine. "The only reason I even came in here was because I figured Chris would keep all the stuff that looks like him in the same place that he sleeps. If I'd known how much of a _pain_ this place would be-" he began right before a dramatic tone played and a metallic shutter slid down in front of them. Both gasped in surprise, then groaned in annoyance. "I never would've bothered..."

"Well feel free to leave anytime you want," Jasmine told him as she turned around and walked back the other way. "I'm certainly not gonna help you find anything."

"Same here," Scott sneered.

They continued on in silence for another few seconds before the music spiked yet again, a trap door opening up under Jasmine sending her screaming into some dark pit. Scott just snorted, giving the door a look of derision as it closed back up, and stepped around it.

xxx

"I _was_ gonna try and sabotage Jasmine," Scott confessed. "But I figure that _fun house_ will keep her busy for a couple hours. Better get out and go check on the others."

xxx

"How do I get _out_ of this stupid place anyway?" Scott grumbled as he walked back to the right through another hall altogether. A close-up of his foot showed him stepping on another section of moving floor, the music spiking yet again as it suddenly activated. With a startled wail he fell on his butt, and was carried at high-speed through the hallway.

He noticed something and began to scream, the camera quick-panning ahead to show him rapidly approaching a large picture window. "No no no no _no_!" he screamed in rising panic, but just before he crashed into it the window swung open and Scott was launched outside.

The camera cut to the now-standard shot of the front of the building as the screaming farmer, little more than a speck in the distance, was flung out to the left and into the lake.

/

Another flash took the scene to Lightning running down a forest path, the music low but tense. "Yeti dude, where are you?" the jock called out.

After a few more seconds, he slowed to a stop with a frown on his face. "Okay, be that way," he pouted. "If you aren't comin' to Lightning, then, uh," he faltered, "Lightning's...comin' to you?" he said in confusion, scratching the bright white lightning bolt that had been burned into his head back in season three. "Hold on, that ain't right. Lightning's _already_ comin' to you. He just doesn't know where you are. So that means...," he paused to think, "...you really _do_ need to come to Lightning?" he concluded, still looking confused.

"Question is, how?" he asked himself, putting his hands on his hips and looking around. "Let's see now," he started rubbing his chin, "what do yetis like? They're basically just big hairy dudes with anger issues, so..."

A dramatic riff played as he gasped in realization, and pounded his fist onto his open palm. " _Protein_."

/

"Shockingly, _nobody_ has gotten close to retrieving their loot," Chris announced over the loudspeakers as the scene flashed back to the pirate ship set. "Better hurry up, folks," he added as the camera cut in closer to the crow's nest on the foremast where Courtney was now sitting, "before I get _bored_ ," he ended in a stern and annoyed tone.

Courtney looked up and sniffed in contempt, then turned a worried look back down. A pan to the deck below showed Fang, now wearing sunglasses, lounging on a beach towel. He yawned, and the diamond in his teeth sparkled.

"Well, at least I still have time to think of something," Courtney told herself as the shot cut back to her.

xxx

"Fang's a shark, yes, but he's a _mutant_ one," Courtney mused in the outhouse. "He's already proven himself to be at least _somewhat_ intelligent. And if _Scott_ can work out a deal with him, then _I_ should have no problem doing the same!"

xxx

"Excuse me," Courtney leaned over the side of the crow's nest to call out, the camera panning down to show Fang raising his shades in mild interest. "I was just wondering, what _exactly_ do you get out of keeping that diamond from me?"

Fang smiled darkly, licked his lips, and patted his stomach.

"You're not talking about getting paid in food, are you," Courtney asked worriedly. Fang locked eyes with her and shook his head. Courtney gulped. "Didn't think so. You, uh, you wouldn't want to rethink eating me, would you? If you let me have the diamond, I can win this challenge. Which means I can go on to win the million dollars in the finale tomorrow, and then I'll be able to become _very_ powerful." The shot cut back to Fang as he listened intently. "I could _easily_ repay you for helping me out here with something _far_ more worthwhile than eating me."

Fang rubbed his chin in thought for a moment, then smiled and nodded.

xxx

"See?" Courtney told the outhouse camera. "Piece of cake. And the best part is, if I _somehow_ don't win, then I don't owe him anything."

xxx

The static cut away to show Courtney climbing back down the mast, before the shot panned down to show Fang standing again as he waited, then further on to show Scott watching them from the stairs onto the main deck.

"Crap, looks like I got here just in time," Scott muttered. "What does that shark think he's doing, acting all friendly to _Courtney_ like that?"

With a sharp clearing of his throat the farmer darted out and up the next flight of stairs. "Hey there, buddy!" he said, raising his arm as he got close to the mast to greet Fang. "Long time no see!"

Fang turned and raised an eyebrow at him while Courtney, who had just finished climbing down, merely scowled. "What are _you_ doing here, Scott?" she asked him.

"I was looking for that statuette in the area, and thought I'd drop in to say hi to Fang," the farmer explained with a sly grin before turning to the shark. "So, I hope you've been doing well since Izzy left," he said.

Fang smiled and nodded.

"Great to hear, man," Scott said. "I really owe you one for helping me beat her that one time. We're a pretty good team, you know?" Fang nodded again. "Not sure what you're doing with _her_ , though," Scott continued, pointing of at Courtney and causing Fang to turn an inquisitive look her way. "Don't you know that she _totally_ stabbed me in the back?"

Courtney gasped indignantly. " _I_ stabbed _you_ in the back?!"

"That's what I said," Scott replied with a smirk. "If I were you," he told Fang, "I wouldn't trust a word she says. She's just using you to get ahead."

A dramatic note played as Fang whipped back around to face Courtney, growling angrily at her. "H-hey!" Courtney objected, backing up and raising her arms defensively. " _He's_ the one that can't be trusted."

"Nice try, _traitor_ , but it won't work," Scott said as he and Fang advanced on her. "The bond between Fang and I won't be broken by a bunch of _words_." The mutant shark nodded.

"W-well...," Courtney stammered, "if you give me the diamond, I...I'll help you look for the golden statuette!"

"Oh, _sure_ you will," Scott said sarcastically, the shot cutting behind Courtney as she bumped into the railing on the bow. "But I have a better idea. Fang," he turned to his partner, "may _I_ have the diamond? I wouldn't want it to get stuck in your _throat_."

Fang looked at him, then opened his mouth and pulled the gem from his teeth. He tossed it to the farmer, who caught it easily. "You want this?" he told Courtney, waggling her loot in a taunting manner. "Well then come and _get it_!" With a bark of laughter he turned and ran, the shot cutting outward to show him heading down the stairs to the lower part of the ship.

Courtney growled in anger as the shot cut back to her and Fang. "Oh that is _it_ ," she said before turning and vaulting over the railing to the mutant shark's shock as the music spiked dramatically.

xxx

"If Scott thinks he can _steal_ my ticket to the finale and get away with it because of his big dumb shark buddy," Courtney confessed angrily, "then he's got another thing _coming_."

xxx

The static cut away to a dark and dusty room, a spider building a web in a corner close to the camera. A stream of coughs filled the air, and the camera panned down to show Jasmine lying in a pile of broken boxes and what appeared to be miscellaneous props from the show's history.

"Where am I _now_?" she asked, looking around. "Some kind of...basement?" She stood up and dusted herself off, and the camera followed her as she began to walk around. "I gotta find my way out of here. It doesn't look like there's _anything_ of value, much less a painting." She paused for a moment, and brought a finger to her chin in thought. "Come to think of it, there's gotta be a better way of going about this than just randomly wandering around, I'll just keep getting caught in traps."

She resumed walking, and looking around the dark room. "Let's see...given Chris' personality, he'd probably want to keep all his valuables under the tightest security. Which means somewhere deep in the house, surrounded by traps. So...," she scratched her head and looked upward, "if I go where the traps don't _want_ me, then I should find it!"

The music rose up just then, peaking as Jasmine noticed something and the camera quick-panned over to a set of stairs that seemed to be making an odd whirring sound. "Crikey, it's about time I found the way out," Jasmine said as she ran over. "I was starting to get claustrophobic!"

She grabbed the bannister and started to raise her foot, but paused before taking the step. "Hold on," she said, her brow furrowing in a close-up. The shot cut to the stairs to finally reveal that they were in fact a downward escalator designed to look like an old set of stairs. "Almost got me," Jasmine leaned down to tell them, "but I'm _not_ tripping up again."

Jasmine stood back up with a smile as the camera cut outward, and the music rose heroically as she bounded up the escalator faster than it could take her down. She reached the top in seconds, threw open the door, and disappeared beyond it.

/

A sweet, lilting tune played as the scene flashed to a close-up of a bird's nest filled with a trio of speckled white eggs.

Then Lightning's grinning face popped up behind it as the music spiked dramatically. "Hello little protein," he told them, the shot moving backward as he picked up the nest with one hand and clutched the trunk of the tree with the other, "time to get Lightning his place in the finale."

The shot cut to the forest floor as the uber-jock landed with ease. He raised his free hand to his mouth, started walking to the left, and hollered "Hey yeti dude! I got three nice eggs here for ya, so come and get 'em!"

A rustling in the bushes just ahead of him caught his attention, and a few deep notes played as Sasquatchanakwa rose up out of them wearing a chef's hat and apron. It grunted curiously, and its eyes widened as the camera zoomed in on the eggs Lightning was carrying. The yeti held out his hands and grunted hungrily for them, but Lightning just sniffed.

"Sorry dude," he told him with a cocky tone, "but if you want these eggs you gotta come with the Lightning."

Another dramatic spike in the music accompanied an angry growl from the yeti, and with a bellowing roar it ran for the jock. Lightning screamed and ran off with Sasqutachanakwa in hot pursuit, tense challenge music rising up in the background.

/

The music continued as the scene flashed back to Jasmine, now running through a portrait-lined hallway jumping over trapdoors and through laser grids. "Alright," she told herself, "the security's getting tighter so I think I'm almost there."

Her brow shot up as she noticed something ahead of her, and the perspective shifted to her own to show a metal gate coming down quickly from the ceiling. The shot cut back to Jasmine's side as she frowned, then sped up and slid under it feet-first. She emerged on the other side with a smile on her face but without a hat on her head, and with a frown she looked back under the rapidly-closing gate.

Her hat was lying just on the other side, and the music rose heroically again as she reached out, grabbed it, and pulled back it and her arm to safety mere moments before the gate finished closing.

"Alrighty then," Jasmine said with a smirk, standing back up and adjusting her hat. "Looks like I've got this on lockdown..."

She began to walk onwards to the right, but stopped upon reaching the entrance of a room to gape in shock.

An angelic chorus played as the camera moved over her shoulder and panned up, revealing the magnificent portrait of Chris she was now looking at – a gleaming solid gold frame studded with gemstones, and the most life-like depiction of Chris McLean that she had ever seen reclining nude on a chaise longue with some surprisingly tasteful grapes covering his groin.

"Well then," Jasmine said, adjusting her hat again as the camera remained behind her, "I think I've found what I'm looking for."

/

The tense challenge music resumed as the scene cut back to Scott, still holding the diamond as he ran through the woods screaming. A quick-pan back to the right showed Courtney chasing after him angrily, and another quick-pan showed Fang chasing after her.

"Lightning and Jasmine have _both_ found their loot," Chris announced over the loudspeaker, capturing the attention of all three, "meaning Courtney and Scott had better hurry up unless they wanna lose out on the race for first place."

"Hey!" Courtney shouted upward angrily. "I've found my loot too, I just need to catch it!"

"Fat chance of _that_ happening," Scott replied. "I'm _never_ giving up this diamond! Not unless you apologize to me and promise to take me to the finale with you no matter what!"

Courtney growled. "I have _nothing_ to apologize for!" she yelled as she sped up with a look of intense determination on her face. "Now GIVE ME THAT DIAMOND!" The shot cut outward to show the three running out of the forest and into the campgrounds, soon passing by the communal bathroom.

Scott looked back over his shoulder and shrieked. "Fang, _help me_!" he yelled as he sped up, the camera lingering in place as he left the scene, Courtney passed by a second later, and the mutant shark passed by moments after her with a scowl on his face.

A cut back to the farmer showed him approaching the spa hotel, a bright look on his face. "Of course!" he said to himself. "I can corner her inside, and look for the golden Chris at the same time!" He skidded to a stop in front of the building, then skidded up the stairs and through the doors. Courtney was once again right on his tail, and Fang was right on hers.

/

A flash inside put the focus on Chris, watching a feed of the three on the control room monitors. He gasped in shock, then dashed across the room to slam the door. "Don't come in here!" he yelled in a mild panic as he held it closed. The sound of Scott screaming as he ran past came from outside, and it was followed by a bellow of rage from Courtney and the heavy growls of Fang.

/

"Alright yeti," Lightning said as a flash took the scene back to him once more, still carrying the nest full of eggs through the woods, "we're almost there. Once we're on the docks, I'll _give_ you this protein, you hear me?" He looked back over his shoulder, and the camera panned back as Sasquatchanakwa raised his arms and roared in fury.

Lightning screamed. "Come on, man! I'm just sha-givin' you a little pre-dinner work out!" he told the ape-man to no effect.

/

The wail of a siren joined the challenge music as the scene cut back to Chris' 'cottage', where Jasmine was running down another painting-lined hallway with her assigned treasure under her arm. "Figures these traps would only get _worse_ after I grabbed the painting," she remarked as she jumped over trapdoors and ran straight through a revolving section of wall. "Too bad for them," she jumped onto the bannister of a 'staircase' that was moving upward and started to slide down, "I don't _care_ anymore!"

She reached the bottom at the peak of her sentence, landed on the floor with ease, and ran out the door.

/

The scene returned to Scott, breathing heavily as he ran through a hallway similar to the one Lightning had destroyed when he was searching for the idol several episodes ago. He skidded to a halt in front of a doorway, opened it, and entered; Courtney followed moments but slammed the door shut right in Fang's face. The mutant shark was knocked over, and the camera cut to his close-up as he rubbed the new bruise on his nose and growled angrily.

"Alright Scott, give it up!" Courtney shouted as the camera cut inside the room, revealing it as one of the communal bedrooms.

The shot panned over to Scott, showing him clutching the diamond close to his chest. "Never!" he replied defiantly before looking swiftly around the room...and then gasping dramatically. " _Seriously_?!" he exclaimed. "It was _here_ the whole time?!"

A grandiose tune played as the camera quickly rotated to show a fireplace on the far wall, then zoomed in dramatically to the mantel above it where the long-lost original Gilded Chris was standing like nothing more than some ornamental piece of kitsch.

"Finally, it's all mine!" Scott said, the challenge music resuming as he scrambled and raced towards the fireplace with his arms outstretched eagerly.

A quick-pan back to Courtney showed her running as well with a deep scowl on her face. "Oh no you _don't_!" she cried, launching herself into the air and tackling the farmer. The two crashed into the fireplace then landed with a thud on the wooden floor, Courtney sitting on her knees on Scott's back. "You're not going _anywhere_!"

As Scott grunted and struggled to get out from under her, the camera panned up to the mantel to show the Gilded Chris wobble, and wobble, and finally fall over and off. The music spiked as the shot cut to a rather startled Courtney catching it, but a sly smile quickly formed on her face. "Well look what I have here..." she said as the music faded out.

/

The feed of Courtney sitting on top of Scott shifted upward as the screen split, the lower half splitting again to show Jasmine on the left and Lightning on the right, both running towards the middle with their assigned treasures at hand or right behind them.

"Jasmine and Lightning are bringing their loot to the dock," Chris announced over the loudspeakers as all four campers looked up and listened, "while Scott and Courtney are stuck holding each other's. If I were them, I'd sort that out _soon_."

He laughed, then the scene cut to the control room as he shut off his monitor. "Okay, I guess we should head back to the dock to see who wins this," he told the camera.

/

"Give it to me!" Courtney yelled as the scene returned to her and Scott once more, the ex-CIT trying to pry the diamond out of the pinned farmer's hands.

"Only if _you_ give me the statue!" Scott replied.

Their argument was broken with a pair of startled gasps as Fang suddenly busted down the door into the room. Courtney screamed as he ran towards her, then stood up and grabbed a small bedside table as though to defend herself.

/

A flash took the scene to the start of the Dock of Shame, where Chris was looking at his wristwatch impatiently. A familiar scream caught his attention causing him to turn around to look off into the distance, and it was followed by a second, different scream and then an angry roar. A dramatic tune rose up as the camera cut to the woods beyond the spa hotel. Jasmine and Lightning ran out of them side-by-side, the survivalist still carrying the painting but the jock empty-handed.

"What did you _do_ to him?" Jasmine asked.

"I don't know, I just gave him the eggs!" Lightning replied.

The camera lingered in place just long enough to show Sasquatchanakwa still in hot pursuit, three smashed eggs and the nest where his chef's hat had once been. He roared in rage again.

The shot cut back to the two campers as Jasmine gave Lightning a look of disbelief. "Okay, so Lightning was a little _forceful_ with it," the jock admitted. "He didn't mean to!"

"I don't think he cares," Jasmine said as the camera moved directly in front of them, the yeti just visible behind them with his arms raised.

"Well Lightning will _apologize_ once he's _won_ ," the jock replied, his tone becoming more competitive as he sped up and passed his opponent.

"You mean once _I_ win," Jasmine corrected, speeding up to nearly match him again.

The tense challenge music in full force once again, the viewpoint shifted up and to the side to show the pair racing towards the dock – and Chris – with the yeti closing fast behind them.

"Jasmine and Lightning are _neck-and-neck_ ," the host announced excitedly as the two drew nearer, only for Sasquatchanakwa to roar one last time, lash out with one of his massive hands, and grab Lightning by the back of his jersey. The jock yelped as he was forcibly pulled back, and Jasmine ran onto the dock and past the host without looking back. "But thanks to some last-second interference from the yeti, Jasmine is the _first_ to reach the docks!"

The shot cut back to Jasmine as she breathed a sigh of relief, the tense challenge music ending with a few swift beat. "Wait, what was that about Lightning?" she asked in confusion as she walked back to the host, painting still under her arm.

She was answered by Lightning suddenly slamming down on the dock next to them, his eyes unfocused and the bird's nest stuffed in his mouth. The camera panned over to Sasquatchanakwa, who dusted his hands together then walked off with a grunt.

Chris laughed. "That answer your question?" he asked Jasmine, receiving only a scowl in reply. "Anyway, even though he was the second one back Lightning managed to get the yeti here in one piece, by which I mean _he's_ in one piece."

"Sha _yeah_...," Lightning slurred, spitting the nest out of his mouth and smiling dopily.

The host laughed again. "But, if you got the loot you were _supposed_ to, you'll still win. Whaddaya got for me?"

" _This_ ," Jasmine said with a smile, holding the portrait she'd stolen against her legs so Chris could see it.

The camera cut in for another close-up, and the gold and jewels sparkled in the sunlight. "Yup, that's the most valuable painting in the cottage alright," Chris confirmed off-screen. The painted smile gleamed, and he smiled happily. " _Man_ I love looking at it, don't you?"

"Uh...," Jasmine replied, looking away as he stared at the image of himself, "I'm...sure it'll grow on me."

"You probably won't get to find out," Chris said, taking the painting from her. "This baby's going back to the cottage where it belongs as soon as possible. But hey," he told her, "at least you won the challenge."

"Aww, _seriously_?" Lightning griped, the camera panning over just enough to show the jock back on his feet again. "All that work findin' the yeti was for _nothin_ '," he said, drooping in disappointment.

"Sorry, mate," Jasmine said with a somewhat sheepish expression. "You were pretty close."

Lightning scoffed, crossed his arms, and looked away. "Close ain't good enough when you're aimin' for victory."

"Hey, at least you aren't out of the game," Chris pointed out. "Scott and Courtney aren't back yet."

"Really?" Jasmine asked as she and Lightning started looking around. "Where are they?"

Her question was answered by a loud crash followed by a scream, and all three people on the dock gasped as they looked back in the direction of the spa hotel. The camera immediately cut to the side balcony as Courtney slammed down on it on her back, and a cut closer showed her wincing in pain and holding her left arm, her body covered in cuts and bruises. The golden statuette was on the floor by her side, and pieces of a broken bedside table were all around her.

She gasped in pain, and the camera rotated upward to show Fang jumping onto the balcony with a tremendous creaking thud, his teeth bared menacingly. "I...I'm not finished yet!" she said defiantly as the perspective inverted, wincing as she moved her left arm an inch.

Fang's grin merely became darker as he bent down slightly, then pounced.

The music spiked dramatically as Courtney screamed, raised the flat top of the former table to catch Fang in the lower jaw, and rolled backward to use it and her legs to launch Fang up and over the balcony railing. The camera followed the startled shark into the air, his expression changing to terror as he fell back downward and landed head-first on the side of the bot tub below.

A heavy gong rang through the air, and the camera briefly cut to Jasmine, Chris, and Lightning all wincing before showing the upside-down Fang fall over unconscious to the ground below.

" _Finally_...," Courtney breathed as the camera panned back upwards. She was now looking over the railing, the left hand holding the golden statuette but the arm in turn being held by her right.

The balcony shook ominously again, causing her to gasp and turn around – the camera moved behind her and panned to the side to show Scott between her and the open window, smirking devilishly and tossing the diamond in his hand. "Well well well," he said slowly as the music boomed ominously. "Looks like _Fang_ wasn't as useful as I thought he'd be. Oh well, at least he managed to rough you up a bit."

"Yeah, but _I_ took him out," Courtney replied, backing up slightly as the camera moved to the side.

Scott shrugged. "Who cares? That's _all_ you were able to do, Courtney. Just look at you," the camera cut back to Courtney as she looked down at herself. "There's no _way_ you're gonna win now. I might not have gotten the statue, but as long as I beat you to the dock it'll be _you_ who goes home."

"S-so?" Courtney said defiantly. "You'll get flushed too!"

"Don't remind me," Scott said with an annoyed grimace. "Course, it won't be because of _you_ ," he said, his lips curling deviously. "Which means you won't be fulfilling your little _promise_ to Gwen. With no chance of avenging her _or_ winning the million, I'd say you've lost, Pretty Lady. I beat you."

Courtney growled at him, but he just snorted. "It's too bad, too. If you'd just done what I wanted from the beginning of the season, then we'd be going to the finale now."

The shot cut back to Courtney as she growled again, only to quickly falter. "You're right," she sighed hopelessly, holding out the original Gilded Chris statuette as if for him to take it. "I did lose the challenge..." A close-up of the statuette was followed by a close-up of Scott's grinning and expectant face as he reached out for it...

Her gripped tightened. Her body shifted. The music spiked. "But I did _NOT_ lose to you!" she roared, striking Scott swiftly and fiercely in the jaw with the statuette, a slow-motion close-up of the farmer's face showing it contorting painfully against a radiant golden backdrop.

The footage returned to normal as Scott hit the railing, causing the balcony to shake and creak as he slumped to the floor.

Courtney winced through heavy breaths, clutching her lower left arm once again. "YOU GOT THAT?!" she yelled at her unconscious foe, stomping angrily and defiantly on the wooden deck.

It creaked ominously again. "Uh oh," Courtney said, her previous anger lost in favor of sheer dread.

The music spiked as the balcony collapsed, sending Courtney, Scott, and a whole lot of wooden rubble falling onto Fang and the hot tub below.

The shot cut back to the docks as the three standing their gasped.

"Courtney!" Lightning exclaimed in fear.

"Courtney!" Jasmine exclaimed in concern.

"My _stuff_!" Chris exclaimed, clutching the side of his head in abject horror.

The sound cut away as the shot moved back to the pile of rubble...and with a rising melody of victory Courtney's hand was thrust out of the wood, clutching the McLean Diamond.

/

The footage flashed ahead to show Courtney limping tiredly onto the dock, Jasmine and Lightning looking concerned while Chris kept a neutral expression.

"Here's your stupid _diamond_ ," she told him, tossing the gem to the host. "Oh, and this too," she added, handing him the Gilded Chris, now slightly bent at the base. She then winced again, and grabbed her lower left arm.

"Whoa, girl, you alright?" Lightning asked, stepping forward to grab her and keep her steady.

"What happened to your arm?" Jasmine asked.

"I don't know," Courtney said, still holding on to her arm. "A sprain, maybe a break?"

"I'll have Chef check it out later," Chris interrupted, pushing himself past Jasmine and Lightning so he was back in the foreground. "Scott too, for that matter. Of course, since he's pretty much in last place by default and empty-handed to boot, it's safe to say that he's getting Flushed."

"Yay," Courtney said with a weak smile.

xxx

"Sure, I didn't win the challenge," Courtney told the confessional camera, her left arm now in a sling, "and my arm's all messed up now, but at least I fulfilled my promise to Gwen and beat Scott! That _totally_ makes it all worthwhile!"

Her smile faltered. "I hope..."

xxx

A single deep note opened the somber elimination theme as the scene skipped ahead to nightfall, Scott now floating in the bowl of the Flush of Shame with bandages wrapped around his head. "This is _so_ unfair," he said or something similar, his words muddled thanks to his jaw being wired shut. "I hope you _all lose_."

"Uhh, you know that's _impossible_ , right?" Jasmine pointed out, standing with Chris, Courtney, and Lightning nearby.

Scott snorted and crossed his arms. "I can _dream_ , can't I? _I_ should be the one going to the finale, _I_ worked the hardest for it!"

"Hey who knows, maybe you'll make it next time," Chris told him before pressing the button to flush the toilet, Scott disappearing down it with a muffled scream. "Of course," he laughed, "there has to _be_ a next time first. So," he turned to Jasmine as a few deep notes were stuck, "who to Flush next? It all comes down to who you want to battle in the finale. Lightning," the shot cut to the hopeful-looking jock, "or Courtney," the camera panned to the worried-looking ex-CIT, her left arm in a cast and sling.

Jasmine sighed sadly as the somber theme returned. "I want you both to understand that this was a _really_ hard decision for me to make," she told Lightning and Courtney. "But...," she closed her eyes, "I'm flushing... _Courtney_."

The shot cut to the girl in question as she closed her eyes and sighed miserably.

"I know you're tough and all, and I really respect everything you've done this season," Jasmine explained apologetically, walking over and placing a hand on the girl's right shoulder. "But it wouldn't be fair to make you compete when you're injured. I'm really sorry to have to do this to you...but-"

"No, I understand," Courtney said, brushing away Jasmine's hand and looking down. "It's for the best. I wasn't gonna win like this anyway, so you might as well give Lightning the chance, right?" She looked over at the jock, giving him a weak smile as he looked at her sadly.

"I'm a little disappointed that I wasn't able to win for Gwen," Courtney continued as she moved past Lightning, Jasmine, and Chris and over to the Flush of Shame. "But at least I beat Scott. That's gotta count for," she grunted as she pulled herself up with one arm, " _something_ , right?"

"...yeah," Lightning said as the shot cut to him and Jasmine watching sadly.

Now floating in the oversized toilet bowl, Courtney smiled. "No hard feelings, Jasmine, but I think I'm gonna pass my baton to Lightning. Lightning," she looked at the jock, "you better win this for me, got that?"

The shot cut to Lightning as he sniffed away a tear. "Sha-got it," he told her.

Chris pressed the button on his remote the moment the focus moved back to him. He smiled as Courtney spun out of sight with a scream, then walked back over to the remaining campers as the capstone theme began to play. "We _have_ our _finalists_ ," he said, motioning to the pair. "Who will rule victorious, in the _toughest_ ," he flexed both arms, "roughest," he raised one arm, "million-dollar challenge _ev-er_! Tune in to find out next time, on the season finale of Total! Drama! All-Stars!"

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Bonus Clip]**

The world was quiet save the faint sound of the wind as the scene opened on some rock wall lining a waterway. Something emerged from the water with a splutter and a cough nearby, and the camera panned to the right to reveal it as Courtney. As she tiredly tread water she noticed a metal ladder built into the stonework, and with a faint groan swam over to it and started climbing.

The scene flashed ahead to her lying on her side on a road of some sort, dripping wet and still coughing. A massive shadow fell over her, but while it did cause her to open her eyes again she immediately looked to the side and groaned in disgust. "Uggh, not _you_ ," she said bitterly, the camera panning over to show Scott lying nearby in a similar position, glaring right back at her. "Why didn't Chris send us to different places?"

Scott muttered something unintelligible but seemingly in agreement.

"Where are we, anyway?" Courtney asked, forcing herself to sit up.

"Abandoned film lot," answered a familiar voice, a dramatic score rising up as Courtney and Scott looked up in shock, the camera moving behind them and panning up to show two rope ladders descending from the sky bearing four familiar forms partially silhouetted by the half-blocked sun. "It's where season two was held," Jo finished, the first of the forms to reveal themselves.

Courtney and Scott perked up in interest and looked around, the camera quick-panning between shots of the old trailers, the Gilded Chris Award stage, and the rows upon rows of film studios. The shot then returned to the two losers as Jo got low enough to hop down to the ground. She put her hands on her hips, looked around, and breathed deeply. "Man, does this place bring back good memories or what?"

"Maybe for you," DJ said, the next to touch down after being lowered on the second rope ladder. "You won season two. All _I_ remember is a load of bad blood."

"Isn't this where you hooked up with Sammy?" Jo asked.

"Yeah, but that doesn't change all the other stuff that happened here too," DJ explained

"Fair enough," Jo said blankly before looking up the gentle giant's ladder to see the third person descending. "What about you, Silent Treatment?" she asked as B climbed down. "You got any good memories of this place?"

The silent genius looked at her and shrugged, then hopped to the ground. He made a few complex hand signs, then walked over to join DJ.

"Yeah, the superhero challenge _was_ pretty fun," Jo replied. "Anyway-" she said, turning to Courtney and Scott before a sudden, sharp cry interrupted her.

The music spiked tensely as the shot cut to Cameron falling from the sky, only to easily be caught by Jo. "See, Newbie," she told him, "this is why I told you to stay up there. The last thing I wanna worry about is a stringbean like _you_ breaking in half."

"Well I'm not gonna get any better if I don't try," Cameron replied as he slid out of her arms. "Besides, I wanted to see Courtney as soon as possible." He rushed over to the girl in question, and helped her to her feet. "Are you okay?" he asked. "What happened to your arm?"

" _Scott_ happened," Courtney answered bitterly, looking over at the farmer as he was reluctantly lifted to his feet by DJ. "Well, him and Fang. But more importantly," she turned back to Cameron and Jo, "what's going on? I'm kinda feeling a little overwhelmed right now."

"No surprise there," DJ commented as he and B stepped in line on either side of Scott. "Between losing, and then suddenly turning up here and being met by some people you don't really know, no _way_ you aren't feeling more stuff than you can handle right now."

Jo sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Look, here's the jist of it: the rest of us Total Drama survivors decided to band together and give this season's losers a helping hand by splitting into pairs and picking them up," she explained. "Me, DJ, B, and your little friend here," she motioned to Cameron, "ended up getting stuck with you two for one reason or another."

"Oh, well...thanks for the help, I guess," Courtney said, looking down awkwardly.

"Are you...gonna be okay?" Cameron asked in concern. "Because you don't look like you are."

Courtney sniffed, then broke out crying. "I have _no idea_ ," she bawled, pulling the shorter boy close to her. "I tried to be, but now I just can't stop thinking that what I did wasn't worth it. And on top of that, I don't know if Gwen's gonna be mad at me or not...!"

"Uh, th-there there," Cameron said awkwardly, patting her on the back.

"Just let it all out," DJ told her with a soft smile. "Nothin' wrong with doubtin' yourself right now. You'll figure it out eventually."

"Yeah," Jo chimed in awkwardly after briefly glancing towards B, who seemed to be paying more attention to something in his ear. "Look, uh, Courtney. This might sound weird, but you remind me a lot of myself," she said, attracting the ex-CIT's attention and skepticism. "By which I mean you're strong, but not as good with people as you wanna be. But all this, uh, emotional stuff and self-doubt? That's actually kind of a _good_ thing. It means you're learning, y'know, about yourself and how to be a better person, and whatever. Is this making any sense?"

Courtney sniffed and wiped away some of her tears. "Not really," she replied. "Not right now, anyway. But thanks, I appreciate it."

"Well...okay then," Jo said, puffing herself up slightly.

"Where's _my_ sympathy and advice?" Scott murmured through his wired jaw, finally drawing attention back to himself.

"Dude, if you haven't figured out what you've been doing wrong by _now_ ," DJ told him, "then I don't think _any_ advice is gonna help you. Maybe you should try havin' a little empathy for once."

Scott just sighed sadly and hung his head.

The shot moved onto Jo as she rolled her eyes, then looked at B as he tapped her on the shoulder. "What's up?" she asked, and the silent genius launched into a string of complex hang signs, many of which pointed up to what was casting the shadow still over them all. "Pfft, _finally_ ," Jo said before turning back to the other and clapping her hand s twice. "Alright people, chop chop! Put the emotional revelations on hold for now, we've got places to be and things to do. All aboard, and that's an order!"

"Huh?" Scott asked in confusion as B and DJ grabbed his arms and dragged him to the nearest rope ladder.

"What are you talking about?" Courtney added, wiping away a few more tears as Cameron separated from her. "Where are we going?"

"Simple," Cameron told her as Jo grabbed onto her original rope ladder while B and DJ forced Scott up theirs. "After we go rendezvous with the others who are only just getting back to Canada, we'll all be going back to Wawanakwa."

" _WHAT_?!" Courtney and Scott exclaimed at the same time.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there we have it, folks! The finale is set at Jasmine vs Lightning, so take your bets and make your predictions! I'm pretty interested in seeing who you all think the helpers were be; the only clue I'll give you is that I kept them as 'balanced', in a way or three, as canon did.

The episode was, I think, an interesting one to write looking back on it. On one hand you have the dramatic final showdown between Courtney and Scott, despite them pretty much both getting eliminated because of it. And on the other hand you have Jasmine and Lightning, the future finalists, having some misadventures as they tried to get their loot back. I hope it felt right to everyone, particularly the motivations of the Final Four.

Let's see...the challenge itself was an interesting one. I've been kind of getting into some old Scooby Doo stuff lately, so when it came time to figure out what to do with the portrait I decided to take some inspiration from that franchise and fill the Playa with some traps and secrets. As for divvying up the treasures, Scott getting the statuette was pretty obvious as I wanted him free to mess with the others if need be while having a believably low chance of winning. Courtney getting the diamond was to set up the conflcit between her, Scott, and Fang; Lightning getting the yeti was because Jasmine having it would make it too easy on her; which meant Jasmine had to brave the Playa. And then Jasmine winning was basically because the decision to eliminate Courtney would be easier for her to make as Lightning had promised to take Courtney to the end. All in all I think it everything worked out quite well story-wise.

So...yeah, Lightning vs Jasmine. They're similar in many ways, but different in the ways that really count. I think it'll be an interesting finale next week, and I hope you're all looking forward to it as much as I am. Until then, let me know your predictions for winners, helpers, and what the bonus clips have been leading up to.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)

Izzy - (7th Place)

Gwen - (6th Place)

Shawn - (5th Place)

Scott - (4th Place)

Courtney - (3rd Place)


	13. Chapter 13 - The Final Wreck-ening

**Author's Note**

Here we are at last, dear readers, the much-awaited finale of Total Drama All-Stars! I hope you're all ready for it, because a heck of a lot of work went in to making this not only a dramatic end to the season, but a fitting send-off for the first two generations of cast as well. As such, this chapter is an incredibly long one - about the same length as the special episodes at the end of seasons one and two, in fact! It actually took me an extra two days to write it, which means I'm a little bit off my writing schedule. But it was definitely worth it, so sit back and get ready for what I truly believe is one of the best finales the Shuffled series has ever had.

...after I get the last publicly-answered reviews out of the way, first.

 **Silver Writer 0927:** Team Jasmine, eh? Well then, I hope you enjoy how she fares. And I can't really take credit for the Sasquatchanakwa thing at the start of the last episode, as it was there in canon as well.

 **Gage the Hedgehog:** Thanks! I hope you enjoy it.

 **CVluvFoxy:** Oh I see, thank you for clearing that up for me. And honestly, I'm pretty glad to be returning to the hero vs hero finale after having villains make it to the end for so many seasons now. And I do feel bad for Courtney too, but ultimately I just wanted other people to get further.

 **DSX62415:** Fair enough, I hope you enjoy the episode I have ready today. And sorry about upsetting you with Courtney's injury, but I honestly just wanted the decision to be relatively easy for Jasmine to make and that required something a little painful.

 **Dylan:** Thanks. And honestly, I don't think I had intended on making Jasmine vs Lightning the finale way back in chapter one; it was a possibility I was entertaining, but I didn't expect I was going to go with it. obviously, I was wrong. Enjoy the finale!

 **Animation Adventures:** Awesome, I'm glad I did a good job both on the lead-in, and in presenting Courtney and Scott as viable finalists. As I said, it was something important to me as in the past I've felt that the finalists might have been a little too...obvious, I guess? But maybe that was just me. But regardless, I'm glad I was able to get the second-to-last episode right. Regarding my placement of the Long Lost Gilded Chris, it was actually something I think may have been an Easter Egg in canon - in the episode where Mal is desperately searching the spa hotel for the DVD Alejandro hid, you can see the statuette sitting pretty much where I described it in-story. I don't know if it was the 'original' or not, but I figured it was the best place to put Scott's target last week. And like you said, Jasmine and Lightning are pretty evenly matched, meaning it was a hard call to make in deciding the canon winner - and perhaps just as tricky to figure out how the endings would diverge. But...well, I think I'm quite satisfied with how everything turned out. And I hope you are as well.

 **Glowing Insanity:** Haha, well, I'm glad I was able to make the episode so much better than the canon one. I mean, it was hard for me not too...but still. Hearing that it might be your favorite mean a lot to me. And yeah, a Courtney vs Scott finale would have been...well, easy to predict the outcome of and way too negative for my tastes, which is why I opted to end their conflict an episode before. As for that one prediction of yours...well, I do hope you'll let me know what it is. :)

 **ashDanLand:** Thank you! And yeah, while Courtney and Scott would make a good finale in some regards, ultimately I decided that they had enough flaws as a Final Two that I didn't want them there. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the finale!

 **acosta perez jose ramiro:** Thank you for the praise and review as always. I'm glad you enjoyed the confrontation between Fang and Courtney; I don't know if I would call it a fight, though, since it was pretty short. But you're certainly right that Courtney is pretty tough.

 **Stereotypical Vampire:** Ehh, honestly, I'm sure just about everyone predicted Jasmine going to the finale at some point. I honestly can't remember. But still, I'm glad you're excited about the finale and that you loved so much of last week's episode! Even more so, I hope you enjoy what's about to come in the finale - the helpers, the challenge, and what the bonus clips have been leading up to. I look forward to your next review.

 **P. T. Piranha:** Yeah, I think I prefer these types of finales to. At least, it was a nice change of pace to write one again after the past three. I'm glad you enjoyed the arcs, as well as how I used each competitor; and I hope that doesn't chance with what I have in store for the ending.

 **StarHeart Specials:** Hah, wow, I'm glad you're loving the Final Two so much. I hope I don't let you down with the execution.

 **Derick Lindsey:** Yeah, while I did consider having someone arrive early only to have messed up there treasure...after what happened with the canon episode, I wisely decided against it. I'm glad you enjoyed Courtney's victory over Scott, though you do have something a little wrong - she did care that she'd lost before the bonus clip, she just wasn't showing it. Though I suppose I didn't really state that outright, so i can't blame you for not picking up on it. The similarities you noted between Jasmine and Courtney's placements this season and last were unintentional, but thank you for pointing them out all the same. Enjoy the finale!

 **MaximusTheMad:** Fair enough, it's always nice to hear from a new reviewer so I don't mind that you saved your review for now. I'm glad you love my writing so much, it really gives me a confidence boost to hear that as I may try to start writing some original works of fiction once the Shuffled series is all over. I look forward to your future reviews, both for this finale and for TSPI when it starts next week.

 **BeyondComprehension:** Well then, I'm so happy you're excited for the finale! I hope it all lives up to your expectations!

 **Guest:** Hmm...well, despite the season's titular theme, I wanted to give the finalist positions to people I really wanted to write winning. Not that I don't like Courtney or anything, but I liked the idea of Jasmine being a potential winner more. More than 'Heroes vs Villains', my version of the season is more about letting go of the past, moving on, and growing as a person, so I kinda wanted to emphasize that more. Though it would admittedly have worked for Courtney as a finalist too...  
Also, you totally double-posted your review.

 **Scissor-Snipper:** Thanks. And yeah, Scott had a great run but more importantly a satisfying end. You're right that he and Lightning were two of the most important characters this season.

 **FOWLKON:** No problem, no problem, work happens (except to me, sadly). And yeah, Lightning's really come far this season. Courtney as well, and I'm glad you enjoyed her defeating Scott. I'm happy with what I was able to do with her; and to answer your question, no I'm not really shipping her with Cameron. As for what the bonus scenes have been leading up to...well, you'll find out soon enough.

 **bruno14:** Well then, I'm happy you got to see one of your favorite characters go to the finale. Other than that, I'm glad you enjoyed last week's episode, and I hope you like how this season ends.

 **StayOuttaMyShed:** Yeah, the idol being burned was definitely an anti-climax, which is why I wasn't really feeling too good about the scene. If I'd known I was going to do that sooner, I would have properly built up to it, with Lightning being all thoughtful about the idol after he got it, and running questions about how the idol should be used throughout the season.  
But yeah, I'm really happy you loved last week's chapter so much. I'm happy that the end of Courtney and Scott's subplot was so satisfying to so many people, even Scott fans like you; and really I'm just incredibly happy that everything came together. Hearing that a chapter is so great from reviewers like you who go into detail about what they like and don't like just really means a lot to me.  
And yeah, Jasmine vs Lightning is definitely going to be an interesting finale. Not having a villainous finalist around for the first time since season one...was definitely something I enjoyed, because it meant that the season has two happy endings even if only one of them is canon. Especially since, as you said in your second review for last episode, most people are okay with either Jasmine or Lightning winning.  
And as for what the bonus scenes are leading up to...well, I hope you like what I came up with.

 **OMAC001:** Well then, I hope it was worth the wait!

 **VIPGuest:** Lol fair enough. Anyway, I hope you like what the bonus clips have been leading up to, as well as the rest of the finale of course.

 **The Prime Writer:** Yeah, Scott at the very least got what was basically coming to him. Shawn...well, like you said his elimination was one that I found necessary, and at least he did find love. I'm glad you like my version of Courtney over canon's, which had a good trajectory imo before completely screwing it up at the end. And yeah, Jasmine vs Lightning is gonna be a close finale, and was a tough one to write in a few ways, but I'm glad that even though you're on Team Lightning like so many others you'll be fine with either as the winner. Don't worry about having to delay your review due to being busy; I myself was busy this week and nearly had to delay the scheduled premiere of next season because of it. I hope you enjoy this season's finale, and your vacation as well.

 **The Frog Ninja:** ...what? Pleas don't leave nonsense like this as a review.

 **Icetundra:** No worries, no worries. I'm glad you loved last week's episode so much! Though the similarities you pointed out between Shuffled and canon placements are coincidences, like you said. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what happens next,

 **link9753:** Thanks! I'm glad that you enjoyed how everything came together last week. It was definitely a tough call in deciding on who to give the canon win to, but I'm happy with what I decided to go with. I'm glad you enjoy this pair of finalists so much, and I think I can see your point about the winner of each season being the most developed character in that season. Regardless, though, I hope you enjoy the finale.  
And I hope you enjoy Pahkitew Island's premiere next week as well. Like you said, I'm not a fan of Sky and Dave as a relationship either, so that's something I'm definitely gonna try and do something different with.

 **Joel Connell:** Well, you're right in that both Jasmine and Lightning deserve to win, which is why it ended up being such a difficult call as to who the canon winner should actually be. But yeah, this series has certainly been something else, hasn't it? It's always surprising to me that I've managed to put in so much work into it, so consistently, over what seems like a small amount of time on paper. But it's all been worth it. And to answer your questions, after TSPI is done I'm only going to be working on Total Drama Rebirth, as I desperately need to get my life in order - find a job, move out, that sort of thing. Though if more Total Drama seasons are made...well, I may write Shuffled versions of them.

 **Frostmourne Hungers:** Ah, yeah, I see what you mean. Honestly, Zoey and Mal's interactions were just handled so poorly all season, and Mal suddenly having Courtney's plan without explanation just...made everything about that episode even worse. Same with what you mean about the dream sequences being a little too long sometimes... As for Amy and Scarlett...well, I don't really know if you're right about who Scarlett would prefer. Amy is ambitious, sure, but I'm pretty sure she's also annoyed Scarlett a fair amount in the Shuffledverse. Though to be fair, so have most people.  
More importantly, I totally agree that Jasmine and Lightning deserved to get to the finale, especially with what I did to them in seasons two and four.  
Scott saying he didn't think Jasmine was gonna help him but asking her anyway...I don't know, I see where you're coming from but at the time of writing it just seemed like something that should be done. That aside, I am glad you enjoyed his role in last week's episode, and him as a villain as a whole. It sounds like it was as fun a run and ending to read as it was for me to write.  
Yeah, Lightning's stuff last week was definitely the least interesting, but since he wasn't really interacting much with anyone and was mostly just providing some humor...yeah, I think it's understandable.  
Working out the whole confrontation between Courtney, Scott, and Fang was both difficult and satisfying, so I'm glad it all worked out well. She's a difficult character to write, so I'm happy that I was able to do so much with her.  
Regarding Jo's appearance in the bonus clip...well, even though she did appear in Suckers Punched, I did also want to show her as being part of the collection efforts, and last week ended up being the best place to put her.  
And regarding your nitpick of another of Scott's lines, he DID interact with Courtney before the merge - they were on the same team at the beginning, and he attempted to blackmail her in the episode that she ended up switching to the Heroes. In fact, that blackmail was kind of what Scott was referring to with that line.  
Last but not least, the finale is certainly going to be awesome. And the reason why I look forward to your reviews is because even though they take a long time to reply to, it's because you put so much thought and effort into them. So thank you for that.

 **Star Saber21:** Thanks. And yeah, lots of great stuff happened last week that I'm proud to have written - especially the stuff with Courtney and Scott. That said, I'm pretty proud of the finale, and I hope you enjoy all its quirks and surprises.

 **Explorer of the Unknown:** Actually, I never even factored Izzy into not wanting Courtney and Lightning to hook up. It's more...them just not being interested, like you said, and also Courtney maybe kinda being gay in this verse? Or gayer than usual, anyway.  
I'm glad you enjoyed the Scooby Doo mansion, it's something I'm pretty happy I came up with. The same with the Scott-Fang friendship, which I just wish I'd had more time to show off. And yeah, the fact that despite everything he did Scott still wasn't able to get to the finale like he was expecting...well, it's just great. Not having Courtney as a finalist was...a little tough of a decision to make, but I honestly just wanted Lightning and Jasmine there more. I'm glad I was able to pull off her elimination with dignity, like you said. Their finale is definitely going to be dramatic, that's for sure. And, hah, I'm happy you love my version of All-Stars so much better. I hope you like the ending!

 **wifishark:** Yeah, Scott just didn't have the luck to get through that double elimination. Well, that and I didn't want another villain in the finale. Anyway, I hope you enjoy what's about to happen!

 **I. M. Poik:** Hmm...well, I think some of those questions of your will finally be answered. And I certainly hope this will be the best finale yet after all the work I put into it...

 **KSR67A:** No, you didn't scare me. Annoy a bit, perhaps, but I'm glad you're looking forward to the season's ending.

And that, at last, is the end of the review replies for this season! Just like always, any reviews of the finale will not be answered publicly. I'll try to answer some of them over PM, but those will only be the ones I find most in need of replies because I am a busy woman. My apologies if it takes some time for me to reply to you, or if I just don't reply at all.

That said, as you all know, **a TVTropes page for this series exists**. Since this is the finale, I'm hoping to see even more great work put into it over the coming weeks regarding all the tropes and such from this season! Seriously, I greatly appreciate all the work that people have put into it.

And lastly...well, I'm sure it needs no reminding, but this week is the final showdown between Jasmine and Lightning. Enjoy it, because there's a heck of a lot that's about to go down - both before and after the ultimate victory.

So strap yourselves in, it's gonna be a long and bumpy ride.

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Episode 13 – The Final Wreck-ening**

"This season, on Total Drama All-Stars!" Chris began along with the capstone theme over a long-distance shot of the island. The recap montage opened with a shot of the original two teams lining up on the beach for the first challenge, followed quickly by a shot of Sugar's initial introduction by way of a cannonball dive into the lake below that scattered the other contestants. "Fourteen competitors returned for another shot at _one_. _Million_. _Dollars_ ," Chris said over a close-up of him holding up the suitcase full of prize money.

"Your favorite Heroes and Villains battled for supremacy," Gwen vomited during the rolling pin portion of the pancake-eating challenge, nearly hitting Alejandro; Courtney freaked out after being covered in green jelly during the same contest; and Shawn got kicked into the air by a giant boot just ahead of Jasmine, "in our _most_ painful and grueling challenges ever." Izzy spun wildly flinging leeches everywhere; Ella led an army of woodland animals across a bridge while under the effects of the Blue Harvest Moon; and Justin got thrown out of the boxing ring by a giant mutant alligator.

"But, it was the _betrayals_ that cut the deepest," Chris said over a clip of Justin using Alejandro as a human shield to intercept some leeches. "Courtney abandoned her teammates to help Gwen," the ex-CIT was shown offering a hand to a wary and suspicious Gwen before the goth was shot with leeches. "A fake idol left Alejandro in the lurch," the arch-villain gaped in shock as his Chris Head was revealed as a forgery to the amusement of Scott. "Gwen was eliminated by her friends, _again_!" The goth was shown reacting with shock to her elimination, and Lightning, Jasmine, and Shawn all quickly and guiltily apologized. "And Scott was _right there_ , the man behind it all." A few quick shots showed Scott smirking evilly, planting the fake idol in his bed, and talking to Lightning while the jock stood on the balcony of the spa hotel. "I know, I was surprised too," Chris said over clips of the farmer swimming away in terror from Fang and two other sharks, getting attacked by aggressive rabbits, and sinking along with the first boat he'd chosen for the regatta. "I mean come on, it's _Scott_!" the host finished over shots of the farmer smacking into pines trees as he was airlifted off Boney Island, getting hit in the face by a board and falling backward into a crab-filled moat, and getting electrocuted by the poorly insulated cable disguised as a climbing rope.

"In the end, though, Courtney gave Scott what was coming to him," the two's final confrontation on the spa hotel balcony was shown, ending with the villain getting bludgeoned in the jaw by the Gilded Chris he was after, "and sacrificed herself to give him a ride in the Flush of Shame with her." Scott was shown being flushed, with Courtney's departure right after ending the montage.

"After twelve killer challenges," Chris said, standing on the dock in his baby blue tuxedo, "we're down to our Final Two players. Who will take home the million dollar prize?" he asked, motioning to the right. The camera pulled back and panned over to show Chef Hatchet standing by with the suitcase of prize money; he opened it, but rather than the lid popping up the bottom dropped out, causing the cash to fall onto the dock. "Aww, dude!" Chris scolded as Chef smiled sheepishly.

The host cleared his throat and adjusted his bow tie. "Will it be _Jasmine_ , the Outback amazon with a knack for surviving the toughest situations?" he asked as the girl's smiling portrait slid into the entire right half of the screen, a blazing fire behind it. "Or _Lightning_ , the athletic dynamo with a thirst for victory after so many losses?" The boy's smiling portrait took over the left side of the screen, a thunderstorm raging behind it.

"Find out right here," Chris continued as the scene returned to him, "right now, on the season finale _of_! Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

xxx

(Fade to Opening Theme)

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

 _I wanna be! I wanna be! I wanna be famous! (Na-na nanananaa, nanana-nanaa, na-nananananaa)_

(Fade to Episode)

xxx

A deep drumroll lead into a grandiose theme, the episode opening on a shot of the spa hotel before cutting inside to a pan across what looked like some kind of gym. A few grunts preceded Lightning's appearance on-screen, standing before a punching bag. "Okay dude, this is the day you've been waiting for for three years," he told himself, moving back and forth in a boxing stance and delivering a few swift punches to the bag. "You gotta be in _peak_ physical condition if you wanna bring home that title."

xxx

Lightning was hanging from the gap below the ceiling of the outhouse as the confessional began, his arms stretched between opposite walls and his feet clasped together as he did some makeshift pull-ups. "After _finally_ gettin' to the finale after four seasons," he told the camera, "Lightning is _not_ gonna let this chance slip away from him again. His opponent is the strongest girl he's ever seen, stronger than Jo even. So he can't let himself slack off or do any underestimatin'. Lightning's gonna give Jasmine his _A-game_ today, no pullin' punches and _no_ holdin' back."

With a heavy breath, he dropped back down to the outhouse floor and took a seat. "With that said, Lightning's _still_ gonna be a hero about it. He's been doing great with the hero thing all season, and it really feels like the role Lightning was meant to play. He's got a lot ridin' on this victory," he said, drawing his fist to his chest with a vaguely emotional expression. "He's got losses to be redemptionified, and friends and fans and _Pops_ all countin' on him."

He clenched his fist, then gave the camera a determined look. "It's time to go out there and show the world sha- _Lightning_!"

xxx

/

A muted version of the previous grandiose theme began to play again as the scene moved to the tree that Jasmine and Shawn had once both slept in, their two branches now empty of everything but the ropes they'd used to secure their legs. The camera panned down along the trunk to the berry bush at the bottom, now devoid of fruit, and a quick-pan to the right finally showed Jasmine walking through the forest with her hat in her hands and full of berries.

The camera cut in close as she breathed in deeply and smiled. "What a great day to win a million bucks," she said confidently. "Well," she snorted, "to _fight_ for a million bucks anyway. Better make sure I've got plenty of energy for it," she said before eating a handful of berries.

xxx

"I'm pretty sure I'm stronger than Lightning," Jasmine confessed, bent forward slightly with one leg crossed over the other, "but I'm also sure that _he's_ faster, so we're pretty much even physically. But I think I've got a good chance at winning, yeah. After losing out on the finale last season and nearly being eliminated _this_ time, I'm pretty eager to show that I've got what it takes to actually win. Lightning may be a better person than I gave him credit for when the season started, but that _doesn't_ mean I'm gonna back down."

She let out a breath and looked down sadly. "I owe it Harold to _win_ after he sacrificed himself to keep me in the game. I owe it to _Shawn_ to carry on when he couldn't. Heck, I even owe it to _Lightning_ to give him a proper opponent after we both made it this far. But most of all," she raised her head, an intense look in her eyes, "I owe it to myself to prove that coming back on the show was worth it, and that I really _can_ fulfill my dream."

xxx

"Good morning, finalists!" Chris announced over the camp loudspeaker. "Meet me in the forest clearing, and get ready to diet!" He paused. "Sorry, typo," he corrected. "Ready to _die_!" he said, a sharp note playing on his correction.

/

The scene flashed to the Final Two walking along the path at a leisurely pace. "So, uh, thanks again for takin' Lightning to the finale with you," the jock said.

"No worries, mate," Jasmine told him with a small smile. "I know we had a bit of a rocky start, but I'm happy to be competing against you. Besides," she said as she slightly increased her pace and got ahead of her opponent, "like I said last night it wouldn't be fair to make Courtney compete after she got injured."

Lightning raised an eyebrow. "Well then," he said, speeding up to pass her by a step, "what woulda happened if she hadn't gotten hurt?"

Jasmine raised an eyebrow and gave him an odd look, increasing her speed to pass him once more. "Uhh, does it really matter?"

"It does to Lightning!" the jock replied, getting ahead again. "He wants to know if he's here because you _wanted_ him to be, or because you felt you _had_ to pick him."

The amazon let out a sharp and disbelieving sigh as she sped up again, the two now almost running. "Lightning, I really have no idea _who_ I would've picked if Courtney hadn't been hurt, okay? I think _both_ of you deserved to be here, so it probably would've taken me _ages_ to decide between you two."

Lightning sniffed and frowned, speeding up once more. "Well fine then. Lightning just wanted to be clear he wasn't here cause of some freaky _fluke_ , that's all. But he guesses he'll never know for sure."

"Well think of it this way," Jasmine said, speeding up to keep pace. "If Courtney getting hurt was a fluke in your favor, then you getting second because of the yeti was a fluke against, so it all balances out."

"Really?" Lightning asked, giving her a skeptical look. "That doesn't seem right."

Jasmine shrugged. "Who knows, mate. I've got my share of flukes for and against me too, I think they're just a part of the game."

"Huh, good point," Lightning said blankly. "Guess it's time to get _focused_ so I can win this thing," he said before racing ahead with a confident smile on his face.

"Just you try!" Jasmine replied with a smile of her own, racing after him.

xxx

"Lightning guesses he was still a little hung up on how he didn't make the finale way back in season two on account of all Scarlett's cheatin'," the jock confessed. "He wanted to be sure he deserved to be here so much he started lookin' for reasons he didn't! But that's another part of his past he's gotta move on from. Sha-Lightning!" He ended by striking an exuberant pose.

xxx

The footage resumed on a shot of the Final Two standing before a dark magenta curtain suspended between two trees. Chris was standing in front of it, and Chef was standing by his side.

"Congratulations on making it to the finale," the host began. "It's something you'll regret for the rest of your lives," he said with a frown as the shot cut in for a close-up, "which will likely be rather _short_ , since this final challenge is _sooo_ vicious," a sharp note was struck as the camera cut in closer, " _sooo_ brutal," another sharp note and another cut closer, " _sooo_ savage!" A dramatic tune played as the Final Two exchanged a worried look. "That our lawyers said we had to change it," the host admitted as a few lighter, almost joking notes played and the two campers let out breaths of relief.

"So...you made it less _deadly_ , right?" Jasmine asked.

"No," Chris answered with a smile, "but we told _them_ we did." He laughed, then turned to Chef. "High five!" he said, jovially raising his left hand.

Chef just stared at him, and he faltered. "People gonna _die_ ," Chef said.

"Yeah," Chris said, putting his hands on his hips in mild annoyance, " _those_ people." He motioned to the Final Two, who shared another wary look. "Combatants, choose your weapon!"

He motioned to the curtain, which opened to reveal a wooden wall with numerous weapons mounted to it. Many of them were ranged: Chef's pasta blaster, a harpoon gun with a fish stuck on the end, a couple different models of paintball guns, a bow and arrow set, a multi-barreled leech gun, a slingshot, and even a boomerang were joined by a wooden sword, and tennis racket, and an oven mitt of all things.

"So, what'll it be?" Chris asked before the camera moved in for a downward panning close-up of the weapons. "Meatball bazooka? Bow and blunt-tipped arrows? A leech gun? A slingshot? Or...why is there an oven mitt there?!" he asked incredulously.

The shot zoomed out a little as Chef ran over and grabbed the mitt. "...there was an extra hook," he sheepishly told the camera.

Another close-up showed Jasmine grabbing the boomerang, then Lightning taking the bazooka.

/

"Now that you've got your weapons," Chris said, the finalists standing next to him getting a feel for what they'd chosen, "you'll need them to pop these balloons." The camera followed his motion up and to the side to show a number of large orange balloons floating in the air, each one tethered to the ground by a thin rope. "Each one contains a previously-flushed All-Star," the host explained as the shot panned on to the right, showing all twelve of the balloons.

"Sha- _what_?!" Lightning exclaimed in shock.

"They can breathe in there, right?" Jasmine asked in concern.

"I don't know," Chris shrugged. "Ask the interns, they filled them." He motioned to the side again where the three interns – the fat boy, the girl with the ponytail, and the boy with long bangs – were sitting around with an open box of balloons, a stand-up bicycle pump, and several unlabeled gas tanks.

"Is this one air?" the girl asked, crouching down to look at one of the tanks.

"I thought _that_ was the air," the fat boy asked, pointing at a different tank.

"Dude, I don't know if _any_ of these are air," the boy with the long bangs said in a depressed voice. "They all came from the same place, and we didn't have time to check."

The shot cut back to Jasmine and Lightning as they cringed in worry and horror.

"You have thirty seconds," Chris told them as the focus moved back to him. "Any All-Star you shoot down, becomes your helper. Aaaaaand," he said, raising his airhorn as the two readied their weapons, "GO!"

He blew the airhorn, and the music began to rise into something hectic and stilted as the two began. Jasmine was first, drawing back and launching her boomerang with a grunt, then the shot moved to Lightning as he fired his bazooka a couple times.

"Aww man," he grunted in disappointment after the meaty blasts sailed right past three of the balloons, only barely skimming one of them.

"C'mon, Shawn...," Jasmine said, clenching her fists in hope as the shot cut back to the boomerang circling around and striking one of the balloons.

It burst, and Harold fell screaming into the large patch of shrubs below. "Okay, almost as good," Jasmine commented before Lightning frowned and fired another volley.

The first two missed, but the third slammed into a balloon and popped it, sending Sugar screaming downward. "Pfft, a _dud_ ," Lightning scoffed in disappointment before raising the bazooka and firing again.

The shot cut to the boomerang as it finally returned, Jasmine easily catching it then throwing it back out. "C'mon, gimme _Shawn_ this time!" she said to herself, crossing her fingers on both hands.

Lightning looked at her and frowned, then opened fire on the balloons once more. "Sha-dang meatballs, how do you keep missin' when you're so big?" he asked as his blasts were shown rolling past the balloons once more. He gasped as the boomerang spun back into view, and the camera immediately cut close to follow it.

The shot briefly cut to Jasmine as she bit her lip and crossed her fingers even harder, then cut back as the boomerang struck a balloon.

A familiar Latin riff played as the balloon burst, revealing none other than Alejandro Burromuerto. He smiled and winked at the camera in a close-up, then tucked himself into a ball as he fell into the bushes.

"Oh _no_...," Jasmine groaned in disappointment as the shot cut back to her and Lightning.

"Jasmine picks up Harold and Alejandro," Chris announced with an impish smile. "Lightning," he turned to the side, "you _might_ wanna hurry up."

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning said with an annoyed scowl before firing his bazooka again. Though the first and third shots were misses, the second popped a bubble to reveal Courtney – her sling now replaced with a simple reddish cast on her lower left arm – who screamed in terror as she fell.

Lightning smiled, and the airhorn was sounded again. "Time's up!" Chris announced. "And _time_ to see if any of them survived the landing," he added with a chuckle before walking towards the bushes.

"Hold on," Jasmine said with a concerned look, giving him pause. "Shouldn't we get the others down first?"

"Why bother?" Chris replied with a shrug. "It's not like they're going anywhere, they're tied down."

"But what about air?" Lightning asked.

"I already said I don't know, okay?" Chris said, throwing his arms up in annoyance. "Those balloons are filled with _something_ , and since the ones you freed looked alive so I'm sure the others will be _fine_."

It was then that a ringing came from his pocket, and he pulled out his cellphone. "Huh, it's the lawyers!" he said, checking the screen. He looked around shiftily, then smiled. "I'm gonna let it go to voicemail...," he said, putting the phone back in his pocket. "Okay! Let's go!" he said as he walked away.

xxx

"Uggh, I can't believe I wasn't able to get Shawn as a helper," Jasmine complained to the outhouse camera. "Now he's stuck in some little _balloon_ for who _knows_ how long, and he might not even have that much air!" She sighed and shook her head. "Well, at least I got Harold. I feel a little bad getting him involved in this, especially if it's really as dangerous as Chris says, but he did do pretty good for himself in the finale last year, so I'm sure he'll be okay. It's _Alejandro_ I'm worried about," she glanced bitterly to the side, "I just can't see the guy working with me and Harold too well. I might have to get a little forceful with him so he doesn't try anything."

She sighed. "But before that, I gotta try and stop worrying about _Shawn_ so much or it'll distract me."

xxx

"Sugar and Courtney," Chris announced over a shot of the four helpers standing up in the bushes and rubbing various parts of their sore bodies, "you will be helping Lightning." The shot cut to the four of them walking over to the host and finalists. "Harold and Alejandro, you're on Team Jasmine. But, you four are here as helpers. _Only_. Meaning, you can't win."

"Aww, seriously?" Sugar complained as the shot cut to her and Alejandro. "What's _that_ about? Why'd you bring me all the way back out here if'n yer not gonna let me try and win?"

Alejandro sighed in exasperation. "I don't know, maybe because we already _lost_?" he told her. "This is just like what happened in season three, remember?"

Sugar crossed her arms and huffed. "Don't remind me," she muttered angrily. "Can't believe I gotta help some losers go through some stupid _challenge_ without the promise of a million bucks at the end..."

"Well too bad," Chris told her. "Contracts. You know the deal."

Alejandro sighed again. "Yes, I suppose we do," he said before the pairs split off.

"So, what's up?" Harold asked Jasmine as he and Alejandro walked over to her side. "You know, aside from making it to the finale and everything."

Jasmine smirked. "Not much. Little nervous, little excited, but I'm sure you know how that feels." Harold nodded in knowing agreement. "And, err," Jasmine said, suddenly looking away bashfully, "I kinda...started dating Shawn."

"Yeah, I heard," Harold said.

"Shawn was _quite_ emotional about it," Alejandro chimed in, looking almost bored.

"So, uh, you're okay with it then?" Jasmine asked her friend, ignoring the arch-villain.

"Totally!" the alpha nerd replied. "I was kinda expecting it, to be honest. Also, even if I _did_ still have feelings for you I'm basically dating Zoey now and that's way more important to me."

"Is that so?" Jasmine asked. "Well congrats to you too mate, good onya," she told her friend, punching him lightly in the arm. Alejandro just gave the pair a dispassionate look, and turned his gaze towards the right.

The camera panned over to show Lightning and Courtney standing close to each other with Sugar looking award a foot or so away. "So, how's that arm feelin'?" the jock asked his former partner.

"This?" Courtney replied, holding up her cast. "It's actually quite good, as long as I don't put too much pressure on it. The cast they gave me is surprisingly durable, so you don't have to worry about _me_ slowing you down."

"Sha- _score_ ," Lightning said, pumping his fist. "Not gonna lie, Lightning _was_ a little worried. But now he knows he's got a teammate he can rely on!"

"That you do," Courtney smiled. "If only the _one_...," she added irritably, turning a narrow-eyed gaze towards Sugar.

The camera panned to the pageant queen as she looked over at her teammates blankly. "What? I didn't say nothin'!"

Lightning and Courtney just gave her a pair of unamused frowns.

/

The footage skipped ahead to show the finalists, helpers, and host riding through the forest in an open-topped tram. Chris was standing in the front wile the female intern drove; Lightning, Courtney, and Sugar sat in the second car; and Jasmine, Harold, and Alejandro sat in the third.

"Lightning, Jasmine," the host began, "this season I decided to come up with something reeeeally danger-uhhh," he hesitated, "I mean, _special_. Yeah! Special!" The shot cut to the two teams watching with mild annoyance and disbelief. "For the both of you. Say hello," he turned and motioned ahead of them as the tram came to a stop, "to the final challenge of Total Drama All-Stars!"

The music rose ominously and the shot rapidly pulled backed to show a massive, rounded, three-tiered stone structure with ladders at various point along the side of each level. A moat of something bright green surrounded the base of it, the air above the first level was glowing a faint red, and at the very top was a smaller structure like a crenelated castle archway. "The _Moats_ of _Doom_!" the host said, laughing as bolts of lightning struck the area.

A six-way split-screen showed the finalists and helpers gasping dramatically as the music spiked.

"Each level has a sliver of safe-ish ground," Chris explained as the shot moved closer to the base of the structure and slowly started to pan up, "where you'll find tools to help you survive the insane dangers that await you in each moat."

The shot cut to the first moat, filled with a familiar bubbling green substance. "The first moat, at ground level," the host explained, "is filled with toxic waste. You _might_ wanna avoid falling in," he said as a fly buzzed into view and dipped down into the bubbling waste. " _Unless_ you wanna go to the prom with Staci or Izzy." The fly emerged, now gigantic.

"Moat number two is," Chris continued as the shot panned up to the next moat, filled with something orange and smoldering, "boiling hot _lava_!" The mutant fly flew over and tried to dip down into it, only to catch on fire and fly off with a shriek.

Another quick-pan upward put the camera on a thin patch of murky, plant-filled water. "The third moat is just plain-old swamp water," Chris said as the fly reappeared once more, soaking its flaming body in the water. "But, what lies _beneath_...," he added as Fang suddenly shot up and swallowed the fly whole, "will _definitely_ kill you."

The shot cut back to Team Lightning as Sugar and Courtney gasped.

xxx

"I don't wanna deal with _Fang_ again," the ex-CIT griped, pointing to her cast "I'm still recovering from yesterday!" She huffed and briefly looked to the side. "I think I'd almost prefer suffocating in a _balloon_ right about now."

xxx

"Lightning, Jasmine," Chris said, the finalists and their helpers now disembarked, "if you _somehow_ survive all three moats, you must say goodbye to your helpers and go it alone as you storm the castle." He motioned up to the top of the tiered structures, a quick-pan taking the scene to the crenelated four-arched castle wit Chef standing at the top under a cloudy sky. "Take your life in your hands as you fight your way _past_ the Mad King," the shot zoomed in on the hulking man, dressed in a spotted fur cloak and a golden crown and drinking from a thermos of coffee.

"I am the Mad King," Chef said unenthusiastically. "Argh." He poured some more coffee into the lid from the thermos and took a sip.

"If you get past the Mad King and find the strength to pull the Sword of Victory from the stone," the shot panned down to a golden-hilted longsword sticking out of a stone below the castle arches, " _you_ are the _true_ Total Drama All-Star!" A short tune of victory played as the sword gleamed in the light. "And the winner of," the shot cut back to the excited host, "One! Million! _Dollars_!" The open case of prize money was shown against a glittering and radiant background, coming closer to the camera with each word.

"Subject to all applicable taxes and other offsets required by law," the host added quickly under his breath.

"So? Excited?" Chris asked impishly over a shot of Team Jasmine looking rather shocked.

"Gosh, this seems _way_ more dangerous than last year's challenge," Harold commented. "Mostly because of the lava, but still."

"Yes, I'd say it's about on par with the one from season three, myself," Alejandro said. "But no matter," he told his teammates. "We shall overcome these obstacles, and make _Jasmine_ the winner of this season."

Jasmine and Harold looked at him warily. "You seem oddly on-board with this," Jasmine said.

Alejandro shrugged. "I am merely resigned to my contractually-obligated role. In truth, I do not care for either of you," he admitted. "However, my pride as a Burromuerto _demands_ that I not allow myself to be beaten again," he said with fire in his eyes, "not in a finale. So you can count on me to give this my all."

"Well...okay then," Jasmine said, sharing an uncertain look with Harold. "Glad to hear it."

The focus panned over to Sugar, watching the three with an annoyed scowl. "Look at them, actin' like they're all _better_ than me..." she muttered bitterly.

"Well, you _could_ always work _with_ us," Courtney pointed out as the camera panned over to include her and Lightning in the shot.

"Yeah," the jock chimed in. "We gotta do this as a _team_ right now, and show the world we got what it takes to win."

"Uggh, _fine_ ," Sugar said, putting her hands on her hips and rolling her eyes. "I'll help you win. But I ain't gonna like it."

"Well Lightning ain't gonna like it either," the jock told her. "But he's still willin' to give you the chance."

The pageant queen just crossed her arms and huffed.

"Wow," Chris said as the camera cut back to him. "Looks like Sugar's still not sweet, and Alejandro's spicy as ever. If they're not careful, they might just leave a bitter aftertaste in our finalist's mouths." He laughed. "Will _anyone_ survive the final challenge?" he asked as the capstone theme began to play. "If yes, will our winner be a King, or Queen? Find out _right_ after the break, here on Total! Drama! _All-Stars_!"

(Fade to Commercial and Back)

High, tense music began to play as the scene faded back in to the Moats of Doom, the two finalists and their helpers now far apart with Lightning's group on the left, Jasmine's on the right, and Chris in the middle.

"Good luck, mate!" Jasmine called out confidently, the shot cutting to a close-up of her, Harold, and Alejandro getting into position. "You'll need it!"

"So will you!" Lightning replied, matching her tone and smirk as the shot moved to him, Courtney, and Sugar standing ready.

"On your mark!" Chris said through his megaphone. "Get set!" His shot moved to the left third of the screen as the remaining portion was divided horizontally between the two groups. " _Go_!" He blew his airhorn, and the campers were off to a low challenge theme.

A close-up of the bubbling toxic goop panned up to show Jasmine, Alejandro, and Harold arriving at the edge of the first moat, a bamboo pole on the ground nearby. "Hrmm...too wide to jump across," Jasmine said, rubbing her chin with a thoughtful frown.

"And _toxic_ enough to eat most materials," Harold added, the shot panning over as Alejandro picked up the bamboo pole with a curious look.

"We'll have to find something we can use to get across," Jasmine said as the arch-villain gave the pole a cursory bending, and smiled at is resilience.

"I have just the thing," Alejandro said, rejoining those he was helping and holding up the pole. "We can _pole vault_ across!"

Jasmine and Harold shared a small smile.

/

Another close-up of the toxic waste gave way to a shot of Lightning, Sugar, and Courtney, the former two now holding bamboo poles of their own. Lightning grunted and tried to snap his only to fail, but he smiled. "Okay, looks like these are pretty strong. Maybe we can use 'em as stilts?"

"Ooh, I've always _wanted_ to learn how to use those!" Sugar said excitedly, moving to stick her pole into the waste.

" _Wait_!" Courtney shouted, grabbing both Sugar and Lightning and pulling them back. "We can't rush into this," she said to their confused and annoyed faces. "One wrong move and we'll become _mutants_ , remember?"

Lightning looked at her blankly.

"Then you won't be able to become a professional athlete?" Courtney dully told him, earning a sharp gasp. "So just give these to me for now," she continued, taking the poles from the other two while Sugar looked off to the side in confusion, "and we'll figure out how to do this _safely_."

"Alright, but we gotta be quick about it," Lightning said with a hint of worry in his voice.

"Naturally," Courtney said with a confident smirk that promptly faded when she noticed Sugar walking away. "Uh, where do you think you're going?" she asked.

"Just gonna go help you two out a bit like I said I would," Sugar said back over her shoulder, laughing to herself as she turned back forwards.

Lightning and Courtney shared a wary look.

/

A flash took the scene back to Jasmine as she ran towards the the moat with pole in hand, Alejandro and Harold crouched down right at the edge. With a grunt she slammed the end of the pole down between them and vaulted over, Alejandro grabbing the pole the moment she let go of it so that it didn't fall into the waste. Jasmine landed on the other side with a grunt, quickly standing up from her slight crouch.

"Okay, I'm across!" she called out to her helpers.

"Go on ahead, we'll be there momentarily!" Harold replied as the shot cut to him and Alejandro, the latter still holding onto the pole.

"Oh no you won't!" came the sudden voice of Sugar, charging in from the left with a strong right punch, causing Alejandro to yelp and dart away while Harold gasped and ducked. "I mighta missed Jasmine, but I can at least make sure she don't got any helpers." She turned to try and grab the nerd, only for Harold to duck and slide away again and raise his hands into a martial arts stance.

"Harold!" Jasmine called out in concern, now standing at the base of a ladder.

"Don't worry!" the nerd replied, the shot cutting back to show him taking a yo-yo from his pocket as he dodged Sugar's lunges and punches, then spinning it around like a flail. "Go on without us, we'll take care of her and catch up!" He ducked under another punch and came up further in the background, the pageant queen growling in frustration as she turned to face him.

"I'll leave her to you, amigo!" Alejandro said, running past behind them both with the pole in his hands.

Harold gasped as his fellow helper vaulted gracefully into the air, then threw out his yo-yo to latch onto the pole and pull it back before it was lost to the moat. In doing so, however, he was unable to stop Sugar from slamming into him and knock him to the ground.

The shot cut to Alejandro landing gracefully next to Jasmine. "How could you just leave him there?" she asked the arch-villain in outrage.

"I wasn't going to waste my time fighting Sugar and leave _you_ without a helper," Alejandro retorted. "He should be able to handle it, so start climbing before you lose the lead!"

Jasmine growled in annoyance, but started climbing nonetheless.

"And Jasmine is _done_ with the first moat," Chris announced using his megaphone, "taking the lead! Lightning better hurry up if he wants to stay in this!"

"Sha- _duh_ ," the jock muttered in close-up before the shot zoomed out and revealed Courtney clinging to his back with her legs wrapped around his waist. "Alright girl, you all tight back there?"

"As tight as I _can_ be," Courtney answered nervously.

"Then let's _do this thing_ ," Lightning said confidently, picking up the two poles they'd found. A close-up showed that footholds had been tied about two-thirds of the way up each one. The shot pulled back again as he charged forward and threw the two poles so that they landed upright side-by-side at about the middle of the moat. They immediately began to hiss, but Lightning was able to jump onto them then use them to leap the rest of the way to the other side, Courtney screaming all the way.

They landed with a thud in front of a ladder, and Lightning raised his arms in victory. "Boo-yah! Lightning is the stilt-jumping champion!" he boasted as Courtney let out a strangled whimper and slid off his back.

"Okay, let's _never_ do that again," she said as she took a breath. "Now get moving!" she said, pushing the jock towards the ladder.

"Sha- _yeah_!" Lightning said brightly as he began to climb.

/

The background score reached a particularly dramatic part as a flash put the shot at the ground behind Harold's legs, looking at Sugar as she cracked her knuckles in preparation. The bamboo pole was lying on the ground off to the side.

"Tremble, mortal," Harold said dramatically as the shot cut to his narrowed eyes, "for you face the mighty _num-yo_!" The camera pulled back to show the alpha geek with one leg raised and his 'weapon' held above his head, which seemed to be nothing more than two yo-yos with their strings tied together. The two ends bobbed up and down, then he spun them around and made the sort of wild noises at home in a martial arts movie.

The shot cut to Sugar as she snorted in contempt. "I ain't afraid of no _kiddie toy_ ," she said, pounding her open palm. "Now get _Sugared_!" She raised her left fist and charged, only to be stopped in her tracks by a yo-yo to the nose.

/

"Welcome to level two!" Chris announced as Lightning climbed up to the moat of lava, then turned around and helped Courtney up as well. "The finalists are now tied," he added to Lightning and Courtney's confusion, "and no one's died. _Yawn_." A pan to the right showed Jasmine and Alejandro standing on the thin ledge and looking around in confusion. "Let's go people!" Chris commanded.

"How are we supposed to cross?" Jasmine asked her helper. "The only tool I can see is _this_." She bent down, and picked up a pink pogo stick.

"Then it'll have to do," Alejandro told her. "Just build up some momentum and hop across."

Jasmine gave him a dry look. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm too _big_ for that."

"Well what _else_ are you going to do?" Alejandro asked her. "Especially now that your _hesitation_ has cost you the lead?"

Jasmine glared at him, then looked uncertainly at the pogo stick and groaned.

/

"Okay, _think_ ," Courtney told herself. "There _has_ to be a way across."

The shot pulled back a little to show Lightning looking around with a frown. "Man, there ain't _nothin_ ' up here. No poles, no jetpacks, not even any really big rocks!"

Courtney paused her thought and scrunched her face up in confusion. "...really big rocks?" she repeated questioningly.

"Yeah," the jock said. "Lightning could toss 'em into the lava and use 'em as steppin' stones."

"Kinda like a bridge, huh?" Courtney said with a thoughtful smile. "That's actually a pretty good idea."

"But all we got around _here_ is a buncha useless pebbles," he said with a frown as he looked around again.

The ex-CIT's expression became sly. "True, but that's not the _only_ thing we can use to build a bridge," she told him, pointing down.

Lightning's brow rose in surprise as he looked at what she was pointing at, and the camera panned down to show the ladder they had climbed.

/

The music cut out as the scene flashed to Chris, standing by the first moat with his phone ringing in his hand. He wordlessly answered it and was greeted by angry, unintelligible shouting. "True," the host said, "I should've known better. We just forgot which of the unlabeled canisters were air, and which were pure helium." The person on the other end yelled some more, the camera panning a bit to the right as an unseen intern presented the host with a cup of coffee. Chris nonchalantly took a sip. "Well," he told the person on the other end of the line, "my optometrist tested that, and it turns out _my_ hindsight is actually quite bad."

The other person yelled so hard that Chris winced and moved the phone away from his ear. "Oops!" the host said, causally tossing the phone over his shoulder and into the moat as whoever he'd been talking to continued to yell. The phone sunk into the waste with a hiss of smoke.

/

The challenge theme resumed as the shot cut back to Jasmine, still looking uncertainly at the pogo stick she was holding. "I just don't know if I can do it," she said.

Alejandro groaned and palmed his face. "Fine. _You_ decide how you wanna cross, and _I'll_ go run interference," he said, motioning over his shoulder.

"What?" Jasmine asked in confusion as he ran off.

The scene immediately cut to a close-up of a ladder standing apparently freely in the air. It was then lowered over the lava moat, and the shot zoomed out to show Lightning holding the base of it with Courtney on alert behind him.

"Not so fast!" Alejandro shouted as he ran up to them.

"Quick, get moving before it burns up!" Courtney urged Lightning.

"But-" Lightning tried to object before Courtney outright shoved him forward, forcing him onto the rungs of the ladder.

"There's no time," she told him, holding out her sliding in between Alejandro and the base of the ladder and moving as he did to keep his path blocked. "You have to _win this_!" she looked towards Lightning, and the jock nodded before finally running.

That moment of distraction allowed Alejandro to push her to the ground, but before he could make it onto the ladder it started disintegrating into ash. Both he and Courtney gasped, and the music briefly became dangerous as the camera followed Lightning across the rapidly-crumbling ladder. Just before the wood under his feet fell away he jumped, and the music turned triumphant as he landed safely on the other side. "Sha- _yeah_ , baby!" the jock danced and cheered.

"Hah!" Courtney barked out a laugh as the shot returned to her looking back at Alejandro. "You _failed_."

"True, I wasn't able to stop Lightning," Alejandro sighed, the perspective rotating so that the camera was looking up at him. "However...I see no reason not to prevent _you_ from rejoining him," he said, his expression becoming dark.

Courtney laughed nervously. "Wh-whoa, come on now," she said, crawling back away from him as he approached. "You wouldn't hurt an injured girl, would you?" she asked him, pointing to her cast with a hopeful yet panicked smile.

Alejandro snorted. " _Please_ , chica. After what happened with Bridgette and Ella, I am not about to go easy on a girl when it is this close to the end of the game, no matter _how_ weak she seems." He reached down and grabbed her cast, and she yelped in pain as he used it to pull her to her feet.

"Why _you_!" she growled before kicking him between the legs.

She gasped as he merely laughed. "Do you not remember what happened _last_ time you tried that, in the zeppelin last year?" he asked her.

/

The shot cut back to Jasmine as she looked at the pink pogo stick one more time and groaned. "I guess I gotta just go with the pogo stick," she told herself.

"Keep in mind," Chris called out from a lawn chair on the ground below, "not all of these items were tested for safety. And, by 'not all', I mean _none_." A telephone began ringing faintly off-camera. "Each one is a deathtrap just waiting to-" He was cut off when the female intern arrived baring a new cellphone. She answered it for him and held it to his ear, and the person on the other end yelled. "Should I reword that?" he asked it.

/

"Walk the Twin Wolves!" Harold declared as the focus returned to him, spinning both ends of his num-yo above his head before shooting each at his opponent, one after the other.

The shot cut to Sugar, her nose a little red, dodging the first yo-yo but getting hit in the shoulder with the second. "What, are we namin' our moves now like in wrestlin'?" she asked.

"UFO _Sweep_!" Harold replied, crouching down and shooting one of his yo-yos out parallel to the ground. A close-up shot followed the toy as it flew towards Sugar's legs, only for the pageant queen to step on the string and pin it to the ground.

"Well I guess we are!" she said brightly before suddenly turning vicious. "Sugar _Kick_!" she shouted, kicking the shocked nerd in the chest and sending him flying back a couple feet.

/

A flash took the scene up to the final moat, the camera looking out at the edge of the tier as Lightning hauled himself up. "Lightning makes it to level three!" Chris announced, prompting a whooping cheer from the uber-jock. "Jasmine better spring into action!" he added as the shot cut down to the giant survivalist awkwardly bouncing up and down on a too-small pogo stick.

She gulped. "Well," she said, the camera in a fixed position close-up as she sprang up. "Here," she sprang up again. "Goes," another spring. " _Something_!" She came up, went back down again, and with the next spring upward the shot zoomed out to show her arcing over the moat towards the edge of the third level. Screaming, she let go of the pogo stick in mid-air and just barely landed in the swamp water, her legs sticking out onto the strip of bare rock surrounding it.

The scene panned down and to the left, showing Courtney struggling to get out of Alejandro's grasp. "Let _go_ of me!" she grunted as she tried to force his hands off her arms.

"Hah! Not a chance," Alejandro replied. "You will be free from my grasp when _I_ choose to let go of you."

She pulled his right arm towards her and bit down hard on it, causing him to scream and withdraw both. " _Bruja_! You broke my beautiful skin!" he said harshly, rubbing where she'd bitten him.

Courtney made a noise of disgust and then spit into the lava. "Eww, don't remind me," she said, wiping her mouth. "You taste awful, like...dead _fish_..."

Alejandro gasped in indignation. "You take that back! I'll have you know I bathed using the _finest_ rose-scented body wash last night."

"If you say so, _Al_ ," Courtney told him with a mischievous and disbelieving smirk.

The arch-villain growled, then took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "No. I shall _not_ fall for your petty barbs," he said right before Courtney hit him in the stomach with a strong right jab.

"Looks like you already did," Courtney said as the camera cut to her smirking haughtily with her hand on her hip.

/

"Sugar _Punch_!" the pageant queen said as the scene flashed over to her charging forward and throwing a powerful-looking left punch...only for Harold to gracefully twirl out of its range.

"Give up," he told her. "You'll _never_ be able to defeat me with such poorly thought-out attacks," he said as he began to spin the yo-yo in his left hand parallel to himself.

Sugar snorted. "Ain't nothin' wrong with my attacks," she told him with a glare. "They just ain't fancy like yours."

"Or effective," Harold said, still looping his left yo-yo. "Now take this, my Certain Death Hyper Drive Attack!" With a determined look, he shot the yo-yo forward, and the camera quickly cut to a close-up to show it rocket through the air.

And get caught in Sugar's right hand.

The shot cut back outward as Harold gulped in sudden panic. "Uh-oh," he said before Sugar yanked on the yo-yo, pulling him forward at high speed. She neatly took a step to her right and held out her left arm to the side, causing Harold to run into it neck-first.

A downward-angled shot showed him slamming to the ground with a pained grunt, and the perspective inverted to show Sugar standing over him with disdain. "Sugar _Clothesline_..." she hissed at him.

The footage skipped ahead to show her picking up the bamboo pole. "Alright, time to go help Lightning I guess," she said to herself, faltering a bit at the end but shrugging it off. "Well, I'll get a front row seat for the end anyway," she decided before running forward.

A cut back to Harold showed him opening his eyes and smiling, then throwing out the yo-yo in his right hand. The camera moved back to Sugar as she successfully began her vault, only for Harold's weapon to wrap around it and yank it away just as she was about to launch herself. The sudden jolt knocked her off balance, causing her to fly over the moat face-first and land with a tremendous thud and ominous background chant on her head on the far side.

Harold landed by her side moments later. "Hyper Pole Wrap," he said tauntingly as he passed by her and grabbed the ladder. "I _win_." He started climbing with a grin on his face.

/

The music became tense and ominous as the scene flashed back to the third moat as Jasmine swam over to a surprisingly nervous-looking Lightning with a cocky look on her face. "Still here, are ya?" she asked him. "Well sorry, mate, but I'm gonna have to go on ahead."

"Hey," the jock shot back in annoyance, "Lightning woulda already won by now if he hadn't gotten stuck, okay?"

"Stuck?" Jasmine repeated in confusion before trying to swim onward only to find herself unable to. "What the?" she said before holding her breath and diving down, the camera following her into the murky depths as she discovered long, dark green and somewhat leafy plants coiled around her and Lightning's legs. She tugged at them but they didn't budge, and so she swam back up to the surface and gasped for air. " _CHRIS_!" she roared in anger. "I thought we were just gonna have to deal with _Fang_ up here!"

The shot cut to the host, still standing at ground level. He laughed into his megaphone, then said "Yeah, well, Fang hasn't really been as big a threat as he used to be, so, I decided to add something _extra_ to the third moat. And it just so happens that we found some mutant seaweed growing in the lake while the island was being cleaned up last year." He laughed again. "The stuff grabs hold of just about _anything_ and doesn't let go."

"Seaweed?" Lightning asked. "In the lake? Isn't that stuff usually in the sea?"

"Yeah, but so are sharks," Chris replied with his usual jovial smile, "but that's never stopped me from finding freshwater varieties. Speaking of, it turns out mutant seaweed doesn't like shark skin, meaning Fang can swim around freely. So...good luck with that."

As Chris finished speaking, the shot cut back to Lightning and Jasmine as they heard a sudden growling and nervously looked to the left. The camera panned over to show Fang leering hungrily at them.

/

The challenge music resumed as the scene cut back to Courtney and Alejandro, the ex-CIT throwing punches and knees at the arch-villain that only served to force him backwards along the rim of the second moat with a lazy expression.

"Such an admirable attempt to get past me," he told her as he turned a punch aside with his arm. "And with so little regard to your own health!" he added with wide eyes as he stepped back from a punch with her cast. "But surely you must have realized by now that you cannot defeat me?"

"That doesn't," Courtney huffed, breathing somewhat heavily as she continued her assault, "mean I'll stop trying!"

"So I see," Alejandro said, raising an eyebrow as he continued to block, dodge, and step backwards.

"What's the matter," Courtney asked, "too scared to fight back? Don't want your precious skin to be pierced again?"

"Not really, to be perfectly honest," Alejandro admitted. "As much as I _would_ like to throw you from here to get revenge for that, I really have no need to change how things are."

Courtney narrowed her eyes, paused, and stood of warily with her arms close to her. "Wait a minute, you're just stalling for time!"

"You're only realizing that now?" Alejandro replied with a short laugh and a cocky smirk. "Jasmine _clearly_ has the edge over Lightning one-on-one, so all I need to do is keep _you_ from going to back him up."

His opponent scowled for a moment before breaking into a cocky smirk of her own. "Well too bad for you I've already come up with a way across the lava that _you can't stop_ ," she told him haughtily.

Alejandro snorted in contempt. " _Please_ , you're bluffing!"

Courtney put a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh really? You sure about that?" she taunted before turning around and running away. The shot cut to Alejandro as his brows shot up in shock, then lowered into a determined expression as he chased after her.

The camera cut outward to show nearly the entire breadth of the second moat, with Alejandro chasing Courtney to the left along it. "You are _not_ getting away from me, chica!" he shouted at her as he quickly closed the gap between them.

A close-up showed her smirking mischievously. "You know, maybe you're right," she said as she suddenly skidded to a halt just past the ladder to the lower tier. Then, in one swift move, she crouched down and stuck out her leg behind her, causing the still-moving Alejandro to trip and hurtle forward with a scream all the way off the second tier.

"Then again, maybe not," she said with a smile after hearing him land with a thud below. She quickly moved back to the ladder, and another close-up showed her grabbing the top of it before the camera pulled back to reveal her face-to-face with Harold. "Gah!" she yelped in surprise, falling back onto her butt.

Harold quickly scrambled up and got into a crane stance with his num-yo at the ready. "En garde!" he cried.

"Uggh, not _now_ ," Courtney griped as she got back to her feet. "I just got rid of Alejandro!" She raised her fists, but before she could throw a punch or he a yo-yo a simultaneous scream from the third tier caught their attention.

"Lightning!" Courtney cried out in concern.

"Jasmine!" Harold cried out in fear.

The two looked at each other. "Truce?" Courtney asked.

"Truce," Harold nodded.

/

The music became even more intense and dramatic as the scene flashed back to Lightning and Jasmine, still floating in the middle of the swamp moat. Both finalists were now covered with cuts and bruises, and were looking around anxiously.

"Okay, we gotta knock him out for good next time he lunges at us," Jasmine said.

"Sha- _duh_ ," Lightning replied. "Too bad we don't know where he'll be comin' from, or even where! And even if we _do_ get rid of him, then what? We'll still be trapped!"

"All...good points," Jasmine admitted as she continued to look around. "But that doesn't mean we can't try. _I_ for one haven't given up hope of winning."

Lightning's brow furrowed as he frowned at her. "Lightning hasn't either," he said. "He was just hopin' you had an idea that he could use first."

"Well unfortunately I'm still thinking," she told him with a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

The music spiked suddenly as Fang jumped out of the water at them, flying past the two finalists with his mouth open and his front 'claws' bared. Lightning and Jasmine screamed in shock, but were unable to do more than throw up their arms defensively before he splashed back down into the water.

"Uggh, why did he have to go and learn to stay all the way underwater?" Jasmine groaned, rubbing a few new scratches. "How are we supposed to see him coming like this?"

Lightning perked up in realization. "I know! We can just go to him!" he suggested before taking a deep breath and diving underwater.

Jasmine stared at him for a moment before her eyes popped open as well. "Of course! Why didn't I think of that sooner?" she asked herself before diving down as well.

The camera followed them into the murky swamp water once again, their cheeks bulging as they looked around. Jasmine quickly spotted something off to the left, and with a point and muffled gasp she directed Lightning's attention to it as well. A quick-pan over revealed it as Fang, who was charging back at them with an eager look on his face. He licked his lips, and opened his jaws wide.

Lightning and Jasmine nodded at one another, and the music spiked again as they turned as one and punched the mutant shark in the nose with enough strength to send Fang flying back and up. The shot cut above the water as he slammed head-first into the side of the moat right next to where Courtney and Harold had just climbed up, causing both to utter startled gasps.

A cut back underwater showed the two finalists high-fiving, only to then realize the arms they'd used to do so had been ensnared by the mutant seaweed. With panicked looks they swam back to the surface, and a cut back to Harold and Courtney showed them gasping in shock. The camera moved behind them to show the two finalists splashing and struggling to stay at the surface.

"Let _go_!" Jasmine grunted, the camera cutting in close as she tried to pull up with her entangled arm.

"Stupid plant!" Lightning chimed in as the shot panned to him.

"We gotta do something!" Harold exclaimed, grasping the sides of his head in panic.

Courtney looked around quickly, then pointed down at the seemingly unconscious shark floating nearby. "Looks like whoever hit Fang managed to bust his teeth," she said over a close-up of Fang's open mouth, showing the cracks in several of his teeth.

"Perfect!" Harold replied as both helpers reached down and broke off a tooth. The next shot showed them throwing, and the camera followed the two shark teeth as they spun through the air to a victorious tune. Lightning and Jasmine caught them with ease, and the camera quickly cut from Lightning's arm to Jasmine's legs as the seaweed binding both was cut through.

xxx

"Wow, I can't believe I actually managed to save Jasmine's life," Harold said proudly.

xxx

"I _knew_ I was gonna be of more use than simply fending off Alejandro," Courtney said with a self-assured look.

xxx

A calm, almost lilting tune played as Courtney and Harold high-fived, and the camera panned over to show Lightning and Jasmine doing the same.

"Thanks for the save, mates!" Jasmine told the helpers.

"Yeah," Lightning chimed in. "Now we can keep goin'!"

"Don't mention it," Harold said, rubbing his chin and nodding proudly.

"Yeah, just...hurry up and finish this thing already," Courtney added with a smile.

"You're...not gonna try and stop me?" Jasmine asked, raising her eyebrow skeptically.

The shot cut back to the helpers as they looked at one another and shrugged. "No, I think we'll let you two cross in peace."

"Yeah, no reason to interfere anymore," Harold added.

"Whoa whoa whoa," Chris interrupted, the music suddenly becoming tense and plodding as he flew over to them on his jetpack. "I specifically wanted you helpers here to interfere as _much_ as possible," he told them. "I never said you could stop _early_! _This_ is the _finale_ , its supposed to be about _pain_ , and _betrayal_. And _pain_!"

Courtney and Harold shared a look. "Sorry, Chris, but we're all pained out," the alpha nerd said.

"Yeah, weren't you watching our fights?" Courtney asked.

"Uggh, that stuff barely even _affected_ them," he said in disgust, thrusting a finger towards the two finalists. "Alright, _new rule_!" he said, the camera following him as he flew upward and the music becoming faster. " _Anyone_ who gets the sword out of the stone wins the million dollars."

The shot cut back to Courtney and Harold looking up in shock, a familiar grunt drawing their attention and causing the camera to pan back down to the ladder as Sugar climbed up to the top of it. "Hallelujah, it's my chance!" she said brightly as she pulled herself up to the third moat.

"I believe you mean it is _my_ chance," Alejandro retorted as he suddenly leaped up and landed on the ledge next to her.

"How the _heck_ did you do that?" the pageant queen asked in shock.

" _This_ , is _much_ better," Chris said with a dark eagerness.

"I agree!" Alejandro said, shoving Sugar into Courtney and Harold as the shot cut back to the helpers. The focus moved to him entirely as he leaped confidently into the moat, only for the camera to immediately cut to a pair of yo-yos flying towards him, wrapping around his arm and keeping him from going further. He gaped in shock and looked backward, the camera panning over to show Harold holding onto the strings with a strained grin.

"You're not going anywhere!" the nerd shouted.

The camera panned even further to show Courtney and Sugar lying on the ground on their backs, the ex-CIT with her partner in a headlock. "Let go of me!" the pageant queen grunted.

"Quick, get going!" Courtney yelled over to the finalists.

"Yeah, we'll hold them off!" Harold added, the focus moving back to him as he struggled to stay on solid ground.

The shot cut back to Lightning and Jasmine, both looking stunned. They turned their gazes towards one another, and smirked as the background music started to rise up again, eerie at first before becoming intense and dramatic and even dangerous.

"Last one there's a rotten egg!" Jasmine taunted.

"Yeah, and you're gonna eat it!" Lightning replied as the two swam in opposite directions – Lightning to the left and Jasmine to the right.

The camera panned back to Alejandro, looking in the direction the Final Two had been and grunted irritably. "You really think you can _stop_ me you strange little man?" he asked as he pulled hard on the strings with both arms, yanking Harold towards the moat.

"Yes I do!" The Dweeb replied, using the momentum of the pull to launch a flying kick. "Hai _yaa_!" he shouted as he struck The Arch-Villain square in the face, causing both boys to plunge into the swamp water.

The camera quick-panned back over to Courtney and Sugar, revealing that The Pageant Queen still stood even with The Control Freak keeping her in a chokehold. "Give it up!" Courtney snarled. "You've already lost!"

"N-never!" Sugar declared, grabbing her attacker's right arm and using it to throw her over her shoulder and onto the bare rock surrounding the moat. "Hah!" she laughed in close-up, before a bit of spit struck her in the eye.

As Sugar recoiled in shock and disgust the camera panned down to show Courtney wiping her mouth on her cast, then reaching back and pulling Sugar's left leg out from under her. "Whoa-oa!" the pageant star said as the shot moved back up to her, flailing her arms before falling flat on her back, hitting her head on a small pebble.

xxx

"So _what_ if I've lost dignity in my fights with Al and Sugar?" Courtney asked the outhouse camera in an almost accusatory tone, her hair a mess and her lip a little bloody. "I want Lightning to _win_!"

xxx

The music was deep and dramatic as the scene moved to the two finalists climbing the final ladders in split-screen, Lightning on the left and Jasmine on the right.

"Whoa!" Jasmine gasped as soon as she reached the top, ducking back down to avoid a blast of pasta. The shot zoomed out as Chef fired off another two blasts, then moved back in again as Jasmine grit her teeth and jumped up onto the final platform. She quickly rolled into cover behind a nearby rock before the spot she'd been standing on was hit with pasta.

Chef was shown turning his focus back to the left and firing, the shot cutting to Lightning standing on the raised rim of the tier as he somersaulted over the blast. "Sha-bam!" he exclaimed, landing on the ground and running off with a bright, cocky grin.

"Ooh, some impressive maneuvers from Lightning and Jasmine!" Chris said in excitement, the shot cutting to him flying over to Chef as the 'king' fired a few more pasta volleys in Lightning's direction. "And unimpressive shooting from _Chef_ ," the host scolded, causing Chef to shoot him with pasta instead, hurling him away.

The camera panned down to the sword and zoomed out to show both finalists racing towards it with Lightning moving noticeably faster. "I ain't lettin' you win this!" Lightning declared as he passed the sword entirely, the shot moving back in closer as he tackled Jasmine and with a heavy grunt shoved her to the ground.

As he turned around to run back towards his goal, the shot panned down to Jasmine as she sat back up and grabbed the uber-jock's leg. "Well _I'm_ not _either_!" she replied as she pulled, the camera cutting to Lightning slamming down on the rocky ground then panning up as Jasmine scrambled over him.

The shot cut to her running towards the sword, only for Lightning to tackle her from behind sending both back to the the ground. An aerial shot showed the jock holding her tight around the arms, only for the survivalist to roll them both onto their backs. "Let go!" she demanded.

"No way!" Lightning countered.

The sound of Chef's bazooka firing caught their attention, and with a gasp Jasmine rolled them both out of the way before another chunk of pasta struck where they'd just been. "You can't win like this!" Jasmine shouted, Lightning on top once again.

"I can try!" the jock replied, forcing them both to roll out of the way of another pasta blast. The moment they were on their back again, however, Jasmine managed to bend her forearms up and grab his arms, so that when he rolled her onto her stomach again she was able to push up off the ground and get onto her hands and knees.

"Sorry mate," she said, the camera moving directly in front of her as she slammed her head back into his then looked around while he was stunned, "but this just isn't your game!"

The shot cut back to Chef as he grinned, took aim, and fired, the camera following behind the pasta ball as it sailed straight towards the two finalists. Jasmine's eyes narrowed and she shifted her position slightly, just enough to put Lightning in the blast's path.

Lightning came to his senses and screamed just as the blast hit him, the camera moving back to the side to show it knocking him clear off Jasmine's back. The shot followed The Athletic Overachiever as he hit the ground with his head covered in pasta, then panned back to The Outback Girl as she scrambled to her feet, one hand pinning her hat to her head, and ran back towards the left.

The music ramped up even more as she ran, determination in her eyes as she jumped and ducked out of the way of Chef's pasta blasts. She soon reached the miniature castle, and the shot briefly cut to Chef as he gasped in shock and the music cut out.

With an almost ethereal shimmering sound, Jasmine pulled the Sword of Victory from the stone and raised it skyward, a close-up showing it gleaming against a radiant sky. "I did it! I _won_!" she cheered, seemingly overwhelmed by excitement as a triumphant melody began to play.

The shot panned to the right a little ways to show Chris landing nearby with the briefcase full of prize money in hand. "Jasmine wins the million dollars!" he announced as he walked over to the ecstatic amazon.

"Congrats, girl," Lightning said with a heavy sigh and weak smile as the shot cut to him wiping pasta off his face. "You earned it."

The sound of the bazooka firing drew the camera back to Jasmine to show that she'd been hit with a pasta blast, quickly wiping it off her face and glaring upwards at Chef. "Hehehehe...," the hulking man snickered before noticing the attention he'd attracted. "Uh, I was just cleanin' it and it went off," he lied.

"Boo-yah," Harold said as he and Courtney suddenly walked over from the left, both helpers covered in cuts and bruises and dirt. "That was a totally _awesome_ win, Jasmine."

"Even though I wasn't rooting for you," Courtney chimed in, "congratulations all the same."

"Thanks," Jasmine told them with a happy smirk, accepting a hug from Harold and a handshake from Courtney. "I still can't believe I did it!"

The camera panned onto Chris as his cellphone rang, the triumphant music cutting off. He frowned, took it out of his pocket, and groaned. "Uggh, it's the network," he said before answering it. "Yyyees?" He was greeted by another round of angry yelling. "Uh-huh?" he replied with a smile and a nod. A pan to the right showed Alejandro and Sugar arriving with scowls on their faces, both looking even more beat-up than Harold and Courtney. "Uhh-huh?" the host repeated off-screen. "Okay!" he said excitedly as the camera cut back to him. " _Done_!"

"They're _so_ happy," he told the cast as he ended the call, "that they wanna go _straight_ into a new season with an all-new cast!" As he spoke, faint but ominous music began to play...

An explosion suddenly went off, shaking the entire area. The shot cut to the stone pedestal the sword had been stuck in to show steam billowing forth from the crack, and the shaking didn't stop.

"Umm...," Chris said with wide, nervous eyes, "what's going on?"

"Hey Chef," Harold asked as the shot cut to him and Courtney, the injured ex-CIT looking around anxiously, "how _exactly_ did you make those moats?"

"A fracking machine," Chef answered with a hint of confusion and alarm in his voice.

"Wait, can you even _say_ that on TV?" Courtney asked in disbelief.

"He's talking about a hydraulic drill," Harold explained. "But using one on an island _this_ size is way too dangerous!" the nerd added with growing panic.

"Why?" Chris asked as steam spurted out of the sword-stone. "What...what could happen?"

He was answered by a jet of water spurting out of the stone. "THE _ISLAND_ IS SINKING!" Harold cried out in terror, an ominous note playing over the screams of all around him...

/

/

/

[ALL OF WHAT YOU'VE JUST SEEN COULD HAVE HAPPENED]

[AND YET, IT DID NOT]

/

/

/

The music was deep and dramatic as the scene moved to the two finalists climbing the final ladders in split-screen, Lightning on the left and Jasmine on the right.

"Whoa!" Jasmine gasped as soon as she reached the top, ducking back down to avoid a blast of pasta. The shot zoomed out as Chef fired off another two blasts, then moved back in again as Jasmine grit her teeth and jumped up onto the final platform. She quickly rolled into cover behind a nearby rock before the spot she'd been standing on was hit with pasta.

Chef was shown turning his focus back to the left and firing, the shot cutting to Lightning standing on the raised rim of the tier as he somersaulted over the blast. "Sha-bam!" he exclaimed, landing on the ground and running off with a bright, cocky grin.

"Ooh, some impressive maneuvers from Lightning and Jasmine!" Chris said in excitement, the shot cutting to him flying over to Chef as the 'king' fired a few more pasta volleys in Lightning's direction. "And unimpressive shooting from _Chef_ ," the host scolded, causing Chef to shoot him with pasta instead, hurling him away.

The camera panned down to the sword and zoomed out to show both finalists racing towards it with Lightning moving noticeably faster. "I won't let you get there first!" Jasmine yelled, speeding up and throwing herself at her opponent. She tackled him hard, and he landed on his back with a pained grunt – and her on top of him, pinning down his shoulders but not his legs.

"Me neither!" he replied as he curled his legs up under her.

He thrust them upwards, kicking Jasmine off and back with a startled "Whoa!" The star athlete rolled back onto his feet, then charged shoulder-first into his opponent as she landed sending her staggering back a few steps.

"Oh no you don't," she snarled as Lightning turned back towards the sword. She quickly reached out and grabbed his arm, only to immediately separate with a gasp as a spaghetti-ball hurtled down at them. It hit the camera instead, but the pasta quickly slid off to show that Jasmine had grabbed Lightning's right arm again.

"Girl, just give it up!" Lightning said, quickly stepping forward out of the path of another pasta blast and using the momentum to deliver a strong punch to Jasmine's gut.

Though she nearly doubled-over from the blow, the hardy survivalist quickly recovered and with a growl of " _Never_!" launched a powerful right hook. A close-up showed Lightning getting hit in the face, the shot quickly zooming back out as he staggered back a few steps. Jasmine quickly dodged another pasta blast, and the shot cut back to Chef as he grinned darkly and aimed another shot.

"Sorry girl," Lightning said over a shot of Jasmine starting to run to the right, his words enough to get her to look back as he grabbed her by the arm. "But this ain't your time to shine," he told her, pulling her back as the sound of the bazooka filled the air once more.

The camera moved behind the latest round of spicy spaghetti as it flew threw the air towards the finalists, Jasmine forcibly moved into its path by Lightning. "No!" The Outback Girl shouted just before it hit her in the head, and the shot cut back to the side to show The Athletic Overachiever ducking out from behind her and running to the right as she collapsed to her knees.

The music ramped up even more as he ran, his eyes blazing brightly and the lightning bolt on his head gleaming as he jumped and ducked out of the way of Chef's pasta blasts. He soon reached the miniature castle, and the shot briefly cut to Chef as he gasped in shock and the music cut out.

With an almost ethereal shimmering sound, Lightning pulled the Sword of Victory from the stone and raised it skyward, a close-up showing it gleaming against a radiant sky. "Oh yeah! Lightning _wins_!" he yelled excitedly as triumphant music began to play.

The shot panned to the right a little ways to show Chris landing nearby with the briefcase full of prize money in hand. "Lightning wins the million dollars!" he announced as he walked over to the victorious uber-jock.

Jasmine sighed as the shot cut to her wiping the pasta from her face. "Well, I guess you beat me fair and square," she told him with a weak smile. "Good onya, mate."

The sound of the bazooka firing drew the camera back to Lightning to show that he'd been hit with a pasta blast, quickly sending a fierce glare up at Chef. "Hehehehe...," the hulking man snickered before noticing the attention he'd attracted. "Uh, I was just cleanin' it and it went off," he lied, the shot cutting back to Lightning as he wiped the pasta from his face.

"Woo-hoo!" Courtney cheered as she and Harold suddenly walked over from the left, both helpers covered in cuts and bruises and dirt. "I _knew_ you could do it Lightning, way to go!"

"Yeah," Harold chimed in. "Even though I'm firmly on Team Jasmine, I still gotta say that I'm impressed by your victory."

"Thanks, both of ya," Lightning said, bumping fists with the nerd then accepting Courtney's one-armed hug. "Man, this is like the happiest day of my life!"

The camera panned onto Chris as his cellphone rang, the triumphant music cutting out. He frowned, took it out of his pocket, and groaned. "Uggh, it's the network," he said before answering it. "Yyyees?" He was greeted by another round of angry yelling. "Uh-huh?" he replied with a smile and a nod. A pan to the right showed Alejandro and Sugar arriving with scowls on their faces, both looking even more beat-up than Harold and Courtney. "Uhh-huh?" the host repeated off-screen. "Okay!" he said excitedly as the camera cut back to him. " _Done_!"

"They're _so_ happy," he told the cast as he ended the call, "that they wanna go _straight_ into a new season with an all-new cast!" As he spoke, faint but ominous music began to play...

An explosion suddenly went off, shaking the entire area. The shot cut to the stone pedestal the sword had been stuck in to show steam billowing forth from the crack, and the shaking didn't stop.

"Umm...," Chris said with wide, nervous eyes, "what's going on?"

"Hey Chef," Harold asked as the shot cut to him and Courtney, the injured ex-CIT looking around anxiously, "how _exactly_ did you make those moats?"

"A fracking machine," Chef answered with a hint of confusion and alarm in his voice.

"Wait, can you even _say_ that on TV?" Courtney asked in disbelief.

"He's talking about a hydraulic drill," Harold explained. "But using one on an island _this_ size is way too dangerous!" the nerd added with growing panic.

"Why?" Chris asked as steam spurted out of the sword-stone. "What...what could happen?"

He was answered by a jet of water spurting out of the stone. "THE _ISLAND_ IS SINKING!" Harold cried out in terror, an ominous note playing over the screams of all around him...

The music cut out abruptly as the scene moved to Sasquatchanakwa whistling contently as he walked along the Dock of Shame with a rolled-up newspaper under his arm. As he reach the Flush of Shame the earth began to rumble and shake, and the grand yet ominous ' _Dies Irae_ ' section of Mozart's requiem began as water suddenly gushed out of the bowl.

Another waterspout sent the confessional outhouse flying into the air, and a third shot out of one of the mine entrances. A buck deer looked up from the grass it was grazing on with a worried look, only for a yet another sudden geyser to erupt under a nearby rock and frighten it away. More water came bursting out of a tree hollow as a raccoon and a rat ran past in opposite directions, with more and more spouts appearing in the distance as a bear, a rabbit, and a bull moose fled in terror as well.

The scene moved to the old mess hall as water broke through the windows and chimney, a violin being played poorly nearby. The door burst open, and the three remaining interns rode out riding the torrent on a fold-out table – the girl out front holding a mop like a weapon; the fat boy in the middle trembling in fear; and the long-banged boy in the back holding on to a bucket. The common area was shown next, the loser cabin nearly submerged save for the roof and the spa hotel showing only the second story. Water was gushing from every window, and had even busted a massive hole in the roof of the cabin. The spa hotel's butler was revealed as the violin player, standing alone on a spa hotel balcony before another spout of water engulfed him.

The shot cut back to the still-shaking top of the Moats of Doom, the eight people gathered there looking out from the edge with sheer horror on their faces.

"MY _COTTAGE_!" Chris screamed, dropping the prize money and gripping his hair in sheer panic. The shot cut to the former Playa Des Losers to show the boats docked nearby sinking and water exploding out of every door, window, and even wall, carrying with them countless paintings, busts, and other objects in the host's image – including the gold-framed one Jasmine had retrieved as part of the challenge the day before.

Chris sunk to his knees and sobbed into his hands, a wide-eyed Chef wrapping a comforting arm around the man while watching the devastation unfold.

"Wh-where _are_ they?" Courtney asked desperately as the focus moved to her and the other helpers, all four of them looking around the sky.

"I told them to be here sooner, but they never listen to me!" Alejandro added, panic in his voice.

The camera panned to the left to show Lightning looking at them in confusion. "What are you guys talkin' about, there's-" he paused, and gasped. "The dudes in the balloons!"

" _SHAWN_!" Jasmine yelled in anguished realization, pointing back down the artificial mountain.

The shot cut to where the finalists had gotten their helpers to show the eight balloons containing a former contestant still floating in the air above the rising and rippling water. The shaking camera ominously cut in closer as one by one the tethers snapped, and the balloons began to rise with the former contestants screaming for help within them...

"I have to save him!" Jasmine shouted as the shot returned to her, Lightning, the helpers, Chris, and Chef.

Without hesitation she jumped and slid down the side of the moat. "No, wait!" Harold exclaimed, reaching out to grab her too late.

" _We_ gotta save _them_!" Lightning corrected before jumping off to follow his former opponent.

"Lightning, stop!" Courtney called out, also reaching out to him too late. She looked at Harold and they shared a nod, Harold standing up and jumping down the side of the moat as well while Courtney dashed to the right and scooped up the suitcase of prize money from where it lay next to the still-distraught Chris.

"What are you doin', girlie, that ain't yours!" Chef asked the moment he noticed her.

"Hey, I'm just keeping it safe for _Lightning_ for when we get rescued," she told him sharply, turning a suspicious glance back towards Alejandro and Sugar who seemed to be watching something in the sky with almost hopeful expressions on their faces.

"Rescued?" Chef repeated in confusion.

"You heard me," Courtney replied, her tone still harsh.

"Lookie," Sugar exclaimed excitedly, pointing off into the distance. "Our _ride's_ here!"

A large shadow appeared on the right side of the screen, and the camera cut in for a close-up of the host as it moved over him. "Huh?" he said with a sniff, looking up in confusion and then gasping. "What the _heck_?!"

/

' _Dies Irae_ ' still going strong in the background, the scene flashed to Jasmine reaching the edge of the third moat and diving in without a second thought, her horrified gaze still locked forward. Lightning followed moments behind her, and Harold a second after with a shout of "Wait!"

The camera cut to the other side as Jasmine and Lightning reached the opposite end and immediately began sliding down the steep slope to the second moat. "Don't worry Shawn, I'll save you!" Jasmine cried out just before sliding out of sight, and the camera briefly cut to the balloons rising higher and higher into the sky.

"You don't have to do this!" Harold told them as he followed moments later, a large shadow appearing on the top of the slope just before the camera cut away again.

Jasmine and Lightning were still looking upward as they reached the second moat, and ran right into a cloud of steam. The camera cut outward to reveal a waterspout nearby that rose higher than the stone tier, and as Harold tumbled down into the steam the shot cut in for a close-up to show that the surface of the lava moat was being solidified by the water falling down on it.

A pan to the left showed the steam extending to the edge of the strip of rock on the outside of the moat. "We're almost there!" Lightning shouted in a reassuring tone as his and Jasmine's silhouettes ran towards the edge of the tier, both breathing heavily. The camera cut inside the steam as it rapidly parted to show the eight balloons rising in the distance, and the water beyond that had nearly risen to the same level as the second moat. Ominously, a band of water a few feet from the edge of the rock seemed to be glowing in much the same color as the moat that it had covered...

The viewpoint moved back to the side as Jasmine and Lightning reached the edge of the tier and prepared to dive blindly into the water beyond, only for Harold to cry "STOOOOP!", grab them by the waist of their shorts, and pull them back.

Both finalists gasped in horror as the requiem ended and the camera moved back between their heads, showing the balloons containing the last few former competitors rising higher and higher out of reach of the water.

"Harold!" Jasmine yelled, wheeling around on her friend and helper with shock and anger on her face.

"What did you do that for, dude?!" Lightning added furiously, looming over the nerd as the steam around them began to disperse as though by force and a massive shadow moved over them.

"We've already got it handled," Harold told them desperately, "look!" He pointed back off towards the balloons, and with confused and worried looks Jasmine and Lightning turned back to watch.

The camera quick-panned over to two balloons in particular, the sun behind them showing the silhouettes of Shawn and Scarlett inside. A new melody began in the background as they screamed, starting off quietly but soon rising up to reveal itself as Wagner's ' _Ride of the Valkyries_ ' as a sound like a cannon went off nearby.

Just as the tip of a familiarly-shaped shadow appeared on the edge of the screen the shot moved to the side of the two balloons as they were suddenly caught in a large net that enveloped them and drew them close together. Three more cannon-sounds went off, and the camera quickly cut in turn to three other pairs of balloons each getting ensnared by nets.

"What on _earth_?!" Jasmine said as the scene cut back to her, Harold, and Lightning standing at the edge of the second moat. Harold was the only one of them grinning in anticipation, the other two were gaping in shock.

"Sha- _damn_..." Lightning added quietly.

The shot cut back to the eight balloons, now trapped in four neat bundles but still floating upward. "All targets secure and accounted for!" came the familiar voice of The Former Bubble-Boy over what sounded like a loudspeaker.

"Good work!" came a reply from The Take-No-Prisoners Jock-ette as the camera panned up along the lines extending from the four nets to the large shadow, the light finally falling on it and revealing it as a zeppelin similar to, but much larger than, the one that had been used in a single challenge in season four. The shot cut to the rear left side of the balloon, highlighting a logo of Jo's face as the actual girl said "Okay folks, reel 'em in!"

A pan down to the gondola showed two net-cannons mounted to the underside of the balloon, hanging right by a doorway. The door slammed open to to reveal DJ and Geoff, the former immediately grabbing onto one of the net-lines while the latter threw down a rope ladder before grabbing on to the other port-side net-line. A cut to the starboard side of the gondola showed a mirrored situation – a door near the net-cannons slamming open, with Staci and Tyler pulling up the lines – the latter no longer wearing any slings or casts.

The shot cut outward to show the four pairs of balloons slowly being pulled in toward the zeppelin, then the camera returned to Jasmine, Harold, and Lightning as the nerd's grin became even wider. "See? What'd I tell ya?" he told the finalists.

"That...that's great!" Jasmine said, a smile finally forming on her face. "Everyone's safe!"

"Yeah," Lightning chimed in, "but what is even goin' _on_ right now?"

"We'll explain later," Harold told them just before the end of a rope ladder bounced off his head. He winced, rubbed his head, and looked up.

"Alright you three," Jo called down to them over the loudspeaker as the finalists looked up at the ladder as well, "the water's rising so you'd better start climbing!"

Harold grinned and saluted. "Aye aye, captain!" he replied before grabbing a hold of the ladder. "C'mon, let's get going," he told the two finalists before beginning to climb. Jasmine and Lightning looked at one another, shrugged, then grabbed on to the ladder as well as ' _Ride of the Valkyries_ ' faded out.

/

"How does _Jo_ have an _airship_?!" Chris asked incredulously, the shadow of the zeppelin nowhere to be seen as the scene flashed back to him, Chef, and the remaining three helpers atop the still-shaking third tier of the artificial mountain.

"Uh, _hello_ ," Courtney replied harshly, "she won season two, _remember_?"

"It turns out she invested the money _far_ more wisely than any of us gave her credit for," Alejandro explained calmly, looking up and to the left as the zeppelin's shadow reappeared.

Sugar chuckled. "I'll say. Buyin' a blimp, makin' it all _fancy_ , and learnin' how to drive it?" she said in amazement, even whistling. " _Boy_ am I even madder that I never won the million."

Her eyes immediately moved to the briefcase in Courtney's arms, leading the ex-villainess to scowl and move it away from her. A rope ladder was dropped between them, causing Courtney's eyes to widen happily.

"Well, whatever," Chris said irritably, a slight quaver in his voice. "It's _clearly_ not as good as mine, but it'll do." The shot cut to Courtney sliding her right hand through the handle of the suitcase, then climbing up the ladder. "Maybe criticizing everything in it will take my mind off," Chris sniffed sadly as Alejandro started climbing as well, and Chef gave the host a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, "l-losing my precious _cottage_..."

Chris burst out crying again as Chef walked him towards the ladder, only for both men to be stopped by a scowling Sugar. "Nuh-uh. You two ain't gettin' on."

"W-what?" Chris asked in shock, sniffing away his tears.

"I'm afraid Sugar is correct," Alejandro called down unapologetically as Sugar grabbed the ladder and the camera panned up to him. "This ship is for competitors _only_. The two of you simply aren't welcome."

"Why you ungrateful little _brats_!" Chris yelled angrily up at them as Chef charged at the ladder only to be kicked in the head by Sugar as the whole thing was lifted up.

"Oh, go tell somebody who _cares_ , Chris!" Courtney yelled back as the ladder was lifted higher and higher. "And have fun on a sinking island!" she added, laughing along with Alejandro and Sugar as the camera pulled back to show the zeppelin ascending with the balloons nowhere to be seen but the two rope ladders – and the people clinging to them – still dangling below.

The shot cut back to Chris and Chef, their faces drooping in an almost blank panic. "Well _crap_ ," the host said before the camera cut outward to show the entirety of what remained of Wawanakwa, half-flooded and still spurting water with the zeppelin flying away above it. A deep drumroll played as the whole island shook one last time, leading into a tremendous and dramatic crash as it abruptly sank the rest of the way, sending up a gigantic backsplash that just barely missed the zeppelin.

A fast yet dark tune started playing as the scene moved down to the water, now filled with all sort of rubble – wood, tires, furniture, bottles, dead fish, branches, and more. Chris and Chef surfaced with a gasp and a splutter, looked around, and swam over to the outhouse confessional as it floated by.

"Well this has been a _complete_ disaster," Chris said as the two climbed onto it.

"One heck of a season finale, though," Chef replied as they got seated. Chris glared at him. "I'm just sayin'," Chef said with a helpless shrug.

Chris huffed in disgust. "Yeah, you're probably right," he begrudgingly admitted before taking a deep breath and smiling at the camera.

"Well, that's it for our very first All-Star season," he said with a friendly wave as the series' capstone theme began to play. "But, don't worry~! We're coming back with a _brand new_ cast! And I guess a brand new island, too," he added with a thoughtful look around. He and Chef chuckled. "Until next time, I'm Chris McLean," his hulking assistant spotted a pair of shark's teeth floating by and picked them up out of the water with a curious look, "and this has been Total!" The shot jumped backward a few feet. "Drama!" Another backward jump showed the roof of the loser cabin floating by. " _All-Stars_!" The final jump-cut showed more floating debris, and the zeppelin far off in the distance.

The camera rapidly zoomed in as Chef handed the two shark's teeth to Chris. "Whatcha got there?" the host asked as his assistant reached down and fished a long wooden board out of the water.

"Dunno," Chef shrugged. "Just seemed _familiar_."

The music spiked dramatically as Fang suddenly rose up to the surface of the water and growled at the two men. Chris and Chef looked from him, and then to the teeth, and then screamed. Chef frantically began to paddle the outhouse away, with Fang giving chase.

Then the music rolled into something far more fun and energetic as the camera pulled back, and the Boat of Losers drove past with countless forest animals on board – bears, deer, squirrels, raccoons, skunks, rabbits, moose, turtles, alligators, and even seagulls. The horn was sounded, and the boat sped off with Sasquatchanakwa towed behind it on water skis.

(Fade to Credits)

/

/

/

/

 **[Epilogue]**

"Welcome," Harold greeted as he helped pull Jasmine through the portside doorway into the zeppelin's gondola, "to the Total Drama Former Competitor's Mobile Headquarters!" They stepped inside to what looked like a narrow hallway, The Funnest Guy Around and The Brickhouse With Heart standing along the far wall next to the open door. "Or the TDFCMHQ for short," the nerd added with a chuckle and a snort as he walked off with his friend and the two other boys moved to help Lightning inside.

"Congrats on winning, man," DJ told Lightning.

"Sh'yeah, dude, that whole challenge was _epic_ ," Geoff added, closing the door to the outside behind the victorious jock.

"Hah! Ain't no thing, for Ligh-to-ning," the overachiever boasted as the trio began to walk down the hall. "But wait," his brow furrowed in confusion, "how'd you guys even know Lightning won?"

As if on cue, a ceiling tile dropped down in front of him and Izzy emerged from the hole it left behind, hanging upside down by her many arms. "Hahaha, that was probably my doing," she laughed. "I _totally_ broke into the control room in the spa hotel when I was hiding the idol and stole some stuff so I could see the footage from a remote location."

"Yeah," DJ said as The Wild Child dropped from the ceiling, landed on her feet, and started walking along with them. "Thanks to Izzy, B was able to hook up a live broadcast of all the camera footage in here so we got to watch the whole finale!"

"Sweet!" Lightning said brightly.

"You know it," Geoff said, clapping Lightning on the shoulder. "Now come on, we gotta get _you_ to the rec room," he said before he and DJ grabbed Lightning by the arms, Izzy lifted his legs, and all three carted him off on his back with whoops and cheers of excitement.

/

Meanwhile, Jasmine followed Harold into a larger room. The nerd allowed his friend to pass him, and as soon as she did her face lit up with a bright smile. " _Shawn_!"

" _Jasmine_!" The Zombie Conspiracy Nut cried out as he ran forward and jumped into his girlfriend's open arms. They shared a brief kiss, and smiled at one another. "I'm so glad you're alright!"

"I'm so glad _you're_ alright!" Jasmine replied as she tightened their embrace.

"Haha, yeah," Shawn said sheepishly, pulling away just enough to rub the back of his head. "If I hadn't been _warned_ that something bad like that would happen, I probably would've been freaking out too. But enough about that, how'd things go? Nobody's told me who won yet."

Jasmine sighed sadly and averted her gaze. "I...lost," she admitted, and Shawn frowned. "I did everything I could, but even with Harold and Alejandro's help I just...couldn't do it."

Shawn sighed and shook his head, taking Jasmine by the hands. "It'll be alright," he told her. "Eventually, I mean. I don't really know what happened down there, but I promise you that I'll be there for you while you deal with the loss."

Jasmine smiled softly and kissed him on the forehead. "Thanks," she said, causing him to blush as Harold looked on approvingly. "I think I'm still trying to process everything that's happened, though. What exactly _is_ this place?" she asked, looking around in confusion.

"Come on, I'll show you around," Shawn said, taking her by the hand and leading her forward.

/

"This is the bridge," Shawn said as he and Jasmine walked in to another room. A few yards in front of them, Jo sat at a central throne-like chair while Cameron and B worked the large control panel that arced around the front of the room.

"Giving her the grand tour, eh?" The Take-No-Prisoners Jock-ette asked, leaning around to see the two newcomers. "Well pardon the intrusion, but since this is my ship I'm gonna join you two. Cameron, B," she told the two boys as she got off her seat and walked off with Shawn and Jasmine, "find a place to park this thing, will ya?"

"Already on it," Cameron replied, checking a few gauges then pressing a few buttons on his section of the control panel. He looked over and nodded at B, who moved to the central steering wheel and gave it a quarter-turn to starboard. B then pulled a lever, pushed a button, and turned around with a satisfied smirk.

Cameron quickly followed after him as he started walking away. "Wow, I can't believe everything's coming to an end," The Former Bubble-Boy said. "Not just our plans, but the season too! I hope the after-party is good. What do you think Jo and the others planned?"

The Silent Genius shrugged, then made a smooth, sliding sort of hand gesture. Cameron stopped in his track to stare blankly for a moment. "I don't really know what that means yet," he said, hurrying to catch up with B, "but I'm going to assume its something positive."

/

"So...it's basically a proof-of-concept, then?" Jasmine asked Jo as she and Shawn followed her down another hallway.

"Pretty much," Jo replied. "I can't exactly just jump right in to having my own fleet of aerial gyms, I gotta prove people are actually willing to _pay_ to use them."

"I see...," Jasmine said with a thoughtful nod.

"But right now," Shawn told his girlfriend, "she's just using the ship for our mobile HQ."

Jo shrugged. "Pretty much," she said as she stopped them in front of a door with a piece of paper taped on that read "Game Room'. A variety of bloops, bleeps, and familiar chuckles was coming from it, but it all stopped when she knocked on the door. "Yo, game junkies," she said as she opened it up, revealing The Nice-Guy Gamer, The Schemer, and The Flirty Geek sitting on a couch inside that just about filled the cramped room. All three were holding video game controllers. "Don't you guys have _things_ to be doing?"

"Uggh, I _just_ got here," Noah complained. "Can't I have some time to relax?"

Jo stared at him for a moment before saying "Fine. But _only_ you. Sam, Cody, get your butts in gear!"

"Oh, haha, right," Cody said in a sudden and sheepish realization, dropping his controller and running for the door. "I gotta go get some last-minute practice in with the others. Excuse me," he said, squeezing past Jo, Jasmine, and Shawn, then running off to the left.

Jo turned her glare to Sam. "Hey, I've been helping Dakota through text all day," he explained, taking out his smartphone. Jo just raised a single, stern eyebrow, and Sam sighed. "Fine, I'll go see if she needs another pair of hands...," he said, standing up and trudging to the door.

/

"Rec room ho!" Izzy cheered as she, Geoff, and DJ carried a mildly protesting Lightning into a different room. It was rather more spacious than the game room, with a few chairs and sofas gathered around a widescreen television, a pool table nearby, and a foosball table currently being played at by The Jock and The LARPer. The Airhead was also present, watching from the head of the table with almost childlike glee.

"Defend, my soldiers!" Leonard cried as he frantically worked the left side of the table. "Lest the kingdom's honor be stained by another goal against us!"

"Sorry dude, but you're not match for _me_!" Tyler boasted as he slid and spun the rods on the right side of the table, causing the ball to be kicked into the goal Leonard was defending.

"Woo hoo! Tyler, that was amazing!" Lindsay cheered, leaning over and hugging the match's winner.

"Heheh, it was no big deal," Tyler said with a chuckle and a blush. Lindsay let go of him, and he extended his hand to Leonard. "Good game, bro."

"Certainly," Leonard replied, accepting the shake. "I'd love to have a rematch sometime, but it seems we have some distinguished guests." He calmly pointed to the right, earning a confused look from Tyler as he turned around and the camera panned onto Lightning, Izzy, Geoff, and DJ.

Tyler gasped. "Whoa, dude! When did you get here?"

"Just now," Lightning answered. "So what's goin' on?" he asked, looking around the room in confusion.

"Nothin' much," Tyler said. "But hey, congrats on winning dude! You totally earned it, it was so _extreme_!"

"Haha, thanks," Lightning said as his fellow athlete clapped him on the shoulder. "But seriously, where _is_ everyone? Lightning was expectin' more of a celebration."

"Just chillax, bra," Geoff told him with a relaxed smile. "We're still getting everything ready, so we brought you here to relax for a mo' after that killer challenge."

"So, uh, sorry," DJ apologized as he and Geoff started walking back towards the door, "but we're gonna have to ask you to stay here for a little while longer, okay?"

Lightning frowned in displeasure before Izzy laughed and put a pair of arms around his shoulders. "Don't worry!" she told him, leading him over to the pool table. "Izzy will make sure you have a _great_ time while you wait!"

"Uhh...," was all Lightning could say, looking towards the doorway as DJ and Geoff left and The Werewolf scampered in before the door closed.

"Izzy! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!" Staci said worriedly as she ran over to Izzy.

The wild child just laughed. "Oh, _you_. I was on the other side of the ship with Lightning. Kinda wish the boys hadn't popped me out of that balloon, though, how fun would it be to just float behind the zeppelin, huh?"

Everyone present gave her an odd look.

/

Elsewhere, Courtney was walking with Gwen down a corridor with the briefcase of prize money still in her hands. "So yeah, that's pretty much what happened," The Control Freak told The Goth.

"Wow," Gwen replied, visibly impressed. "Fending off Alejandro _and_ Sugar with a sprained arm? I didn't know you had it in you."

"Haha, well, what can I say? I _really_ wanted to make sure Lightning could win" Courtney joked. "Though it _probably_ made my arm even worse than it already was," she said, raising her left forearm and wincing.

"Yikes," Gwen cringed. "How are you not in total _agony_ right now?"

"Painkillers," Courtney answered almost dryly. "Once I hand off _this_ ," she raised the case in her hands, "I'll have Cam adjust the cast he made."

"Good idea," Gwen said as they in front of a large door. She opened it, and they walked inside.

They were greeted by the sounds of beatboxing and a guitar being tuned, and looked over to see The Musician, The Human Soundboard, and Harold all practicing their respective musical trades in what looked to be some sort of backstage area. Trent stopped as soon as he saw the girls approaching, and walked over to meet them with a smile on his face.

"Gwen! I'm so happy you're alright!" he said, embracing her and kissing her on the cheek.

"Haha, I know, you told me when I boarded," Gwen said with a laugh.

"Hey, no fault in saying it again, you know?" Trent told her. "I was so worried when you were stuck in that balloon. I know how _awful_ it must've been for you."

"Luckily I managed to pass out from sheer terror a little after the helpers were chosen," the goth said dryly, causing her two friends to laugh awkwardly.

"Well...anyway, come on in, we're just gonna get started rehearsing a bit," Trent said as he led Gwen and Courtney further into the room.

The ex-CIT looked around in confusion as Trent got seated next to Beardo and Harold. "Hold on, shouldn't Ella and Cody be here too?"

Beardo dinged. "Singer Girl's off freshening up," he explained. "She _is_ our lead for this act after all."

"Yeah...I hope this all goes well for the five of us," Trent said, looking down in contemplation.

"I wouldn't worry if I were you," Gwen told him.

"Yeah," Courtney chimed in. "You're all plenty talented."

"I'll say," Harold said with a confident smile, launching into some freestyle beatboxing that Beardo quickly joined in on. They ended by knocking their fists against each other.

Just then, a door on the other side of the room opened and Cody ran in. "Sorry I'm late!" he told the others, skidding to a stop in front of the mildly amused girls. "Hello, _ladies_ ," he said in an almost smooth tone of voice, shooting finger pistols at Gwen and Courtney.

"Hey Cody," they said together.

"Miss me much?" he asked with a flirty wink.

Gwen and Courtney shared a look, then giggled to each other. "Not really," Gwen answered.

"Yeah, it was only this _morning_ that we were dropped off so the producers could pick us up without learning about the existence of this place," Courtney added.

Cody drooped, only to quickly perk up hopefully. "Well...even if you didn't miss me I hope you like the show we're gonna put on." He paused and blinked, then looked around in confusion. "Speaking of, where's Ella?"

"Here I am!" The Fairytale Princess replied in a sing-song voice, leaping gracefully through the same door Cody had used. The others watched on with happy smiles as she twirled and danced and sang through her bars as she approached them. She finally landed next to them, and finished with a bow. The others applauded calmly. "Sorry for being late," she explained. "After what happened with the balloons I needed to take a little time to make sure my voice was still working. And it is!"

"Awesome," Harold nodded. "Considering what happened with the Bl-"

With a stern glare and a finger on his lips, Ella cut him off. " _Please_ don't remind me of that," she told him sharply. "It's hard enough for me to act like everything's alright _without_ you accidentally disrupting my peaceful state of mind before the show."

Harold smiled sheepishly under her look. "...sorry..."

/

"Man, I can't believe you guys just _ditched_ Chris and Chef," The Junior Chris lamented as he and Alejandro lounging against the side of some corridor, looking out the windows at the open sky. "We totally could've gotten some leverage out of him if we saved his life."

"Think of it this way, amigo," Alejandro calmly told Topher while examining his face in a mirror and fixing his hair, the bruises and dirt and scrapes he'd gotten in the challenge gone or at least no longer visible. "If, by chance, our frail and pampered host did not _survive_ the disaster he brought upon himself..."

"...then the show will need a replacement!" Topher finished in dawning realization. "And what better choice than a young up-and-comer who's familiar with the show, _and_ the hosting biz?" he added in a suave, Chris-like tone as he framed his face with his fingers.

" _Exactly_ ," Alejandro said with a short nod. "This could be your big break!"

"Speaking of big breaks," came the familiar voice of The Eye Candy as he walked over with The Bad Twin right behind him, "I hope Harold didn't break that nose of yours when he was _beating_ you earlier. It really would be a _shame_ to lose it."

"Actually," Topher spoke up matter-of-factly, "he-"

Alejandro cut him off with an arm across the chest. "I'm fine, Justin. Neither Courtney nor Harold were able to do _any_ lasting damage to me," he told the model with a narrow-eyed look.

"Which is great!" Topher said, sliding to the side and wrapping his arms around the shoulder of both Alejandro and Justin. "Us really really _hot_ guys need watch out for each other, lest our stunning beauty is lost to the world."

"Oh yeah, totally," Amy said, forcing herself between Topher and Justin. "I'd practically _die_ if that happened. _Especially_ to you, Justin. I mean, I nearly fainted from worry when you were stuck in that ugly balloon," she told the supermodel.

Justin chuckled, and put his arm around Amy as he pulled them both away from Alejandro and Topher. "Glad to hear it, Amy. Now let's go find something _else_ to do..."

"Ooh, I was _just_ thinking that," Amy said eagerly as they walked down the hall. "Maybe we could go laugh at my _sister_ and her stupid friends?" she suggested, the camera lingering on Alejandro and Topher as they rolled their eyes.

"Maybe," Justin replied with a calm smile.

/

In another windowed corridor, The Devious was watching the sky. His expression was an odd mix of sorrow, anger, and hatred, and though his jaw was still wired shut he heaved a heavy sigh.

Scott looked up in surprise as Ezekiel walked up beside him and started looking out the window as well. "What, are you here to laugh at me?" Scott asked The Homeschooler in a muffled voice.

"Nope," Ezekiel replied simply.

Scott snorted. "Well you didn't so much as _look_ at me when I got _on_ this stupid ship yesterday, so why'd you come looking for me now?"

Ezekiel was silent for a moment as the two boys watched the clouds go by. "Yo, remember that time in Jamaica?"

"How could I _forget_...," Scott said grumpily.

"It still seems so wild to me that one minute we were friends, and the next minute I hated your guts," Ezekiel mused. "Breaking up a friendship over a secret alliance, it almost sounds ridiculous to me now...but you know what?" Scott looked over at him with an almost hopeful smile. "I don't regret it," Ezekiel said, and Scott's face dropped back into a scowl.

"Yer a knob, eh," Ezekiel turned and told his former friend. "It's been like a year and a half since season three, but yer still a total knob."

"Gee, thanks," Scott grunted.

"You just haven't changed," Ezekiel told him with a shrug, looking back out the window. "Yer like the only one of us who hasn't except like maybe Al and Sugar. Heck, even guys who were only on season _four_ changed more than you did. I think they've all learned from their mistakes, but you haven't."

Scott gurgled in outrage. "I have too learned from my mistakes! I did _way_ better this time than my first two seasons!"

"Yo, I ain't talkin' about strategy," Ezekiel replied with a dirty look. "I'm talkin' aboot, like...growin' as a person and stuff. Look at Lightning. He used to be a total knob too, but now he's a hero and even a winner, eh. But yer still basically the same guy as you were back in season one, while the rest of us have moved on. You ain't _ever_ gonna get what you want like this, Scott," Ezekiel said before turning and walking away.

"Wait!" Scott said quickly, reaching out to almost touch his former friend. "How? How do I _do_ all that? How do I _change_?"

Ezekiel looked back and gave him a sad smile. "I dunno, you just...do it. But maybe you should start by not trying to do it just so you can win a million bucks, eh."

He walked away, leaving Scott stunned.

/

"And _this_ is where the main attraction is gonna be," Jo told Jasmine and Shawn as she led them into the largest room yet, stopping at the doorway and spreading her arms wide as the two survivalists looked on in awe.

The room was about the size of a ballroom, and looked like it had been set up for a wedding reception with seven smaller circular tables and one long table in front of them. All the tables had been covered with white table cloths, and the smaller ones were being set by Dawn, Sammy, Cameron, and Sam. Zoey and Bridgette were standing atop tall stepladders set up among the tables, trying to hang a large banner reading 'Congratulations Lightning!' from the ceiling with Geoff nervously holding his girlfriend's ladder steady while Beth held the other. A large red curtain seemed to serve as the back wall of the room, and B stepped behind it with his usual calm expression.

And in front of them all stood Dakota Milton, with Sierra right by her side holding up a camera.

"Since this is the biggest room on the zeppelin I figure this is where I'll put the main gym," Jo explained as she led Jasmine and Shawn further into the room. "But for now, it'll make a good place for an after-party. Isn't that right?" she asked The Fame-Monger upon approaching her.

"Hmm?" Dakota said, her and Sierra both turning to look as they finally noticed the three new arrivals. "Oh! Right!" the heiress said brightly. "Jo was _so_ nice to let me and Geoff plan everything, it'll be just _perfect_."

"Definitely looks like its shaping up that way," Jasmine said, adjusting her hat as she looked around.

"Sorry about, like, basically celebrating your loss by throwing a party for Lightning," Dakota told her. "I bet it must sting a little, huh?"

Jasmine shrugged helplessly. "A little, yeah, but I'll get over it," she said, Shawn wordlessly taking her hand and smiling. "Besides, Lightning deserves a celebration for his win."

"It's not just him," The Bridge To The Fans said, " _you_ deserve a celebration too. _All_ of the All-Stars do for helping make the most _amazing_ season of Total Drama ever!"

Dakota giggled her agreement. " _Exactly_ ," she told the two All-Stars standing before her. "Just think of it as a gift from all of us who didn't get on the show to those of you who did."

Shawn and Jasmine looked at one another bashfully. "Err, thanks," Jasmine said.

Sierra snapped a picture of them, then giggled to herself. "Okay, now kiss!" she commanded. Jo warily sidestepped away, and Shawn and Jasmine gave the uber-fan a strange look. She scowled at them. "Come on, it's for your _fans_!" she told them. "And for my Shazmine blog," she added with an indecent giggle.

The two survivalists glared at her, prompting Dakota to sigh and pull Sierra away. "You need to stop doing that, okay?" the heiress whispered. "It's _seriously_ bugging everyone."

"But...but what about our fans?" Sierra blubbered.

"Don't worry," Dakota told her with a mischievous smirk, "I'm sure you'll get _all_ the candid photos you've been wanting during the party," she said, causing Sierra's expression to brighten up. "So just let them rest for now, okay?"

"Okay," Sierra replied with a vigorously happy nod.

Dakota smiled in satisfaction as the super-fan scurried off elsewhere, but the heiress' attention was soon drawn by a call from behind her.

"Excuse me, Dakota?" came the voice of The Indie Chick, Dakota turning around to see her and The Surfer Girl still atop their ladders holding the strings attached to the top corners of a banner in place against the ceiling. "Does this look good?"

"Hmm...," Dakota replied, closing one eye and taking a step back and framing the scene with her fingers. "Perfect!" she smiled, giving the two girls a thumbs-up.

"Finally," Zoey breathed out softly as she quickly tied her end of the banner in place. "Alright Beth, I'm coming down!" she yelled down to the floor before sliding down the ladder.

The Wannabe quickly stepped back, then gave her a mildly annoyed look as she touched down on the ground. "Sorry," Zoey laughed, "I just always wanted to do that."

Beth smiled slightly. "It's fine. I've kinda always wanted to do that too."

"Almost...got it...," came the voice of Bridgette, and the two girls turned their attention to the second latter. The surfer was still affixing the other end of the banner to the ceiling, and was wobbling ominously as she did so.

"C'mon babe, keep it steady," Geoff said worriedly, holding on to the bottom of the ladder.

"Don't worry, I got it just fine!" Bridgette said cheerily as she finished tying the string, then moved to take a step down the ladder, lost her balance, and fell off.

Both blondes gasped in fear, but Geoff caught Bridgette safely in his arms. "I gotcha babe, don't be scared," he told his girlfriend.

Bridgette promptly let out a breath of relief. "Jeez, that was close!" she said before sliding out of her boyfriend's arms. "My hero...," she told him as she kissed him.

Beth, still watching nearby with Zoey, sighed. "Why do _I_ have to be the only girl who's boyfriend isn't around?" she asked grumpily.

"...because you're the only one of us who's dating someone outside the show?" Zoey asked in mild confusion.

"True," Beth conceded. "I'm gonna go make it a little better by calling Brady," she said, taking out a smartphone and walking off.

"Have fun!" Zoey said with a smile and a wave before walking over towards Jasmine and Shawn. "Hey, congratulations on making it to the end," she told her friend. "I was really rooting for you!"

"Thanks," Jasmine said softly, briefly looking away with an awkward expression before adding "And sorry about, y'know, what happened before the season started."

The indie girl just waved it off. "Oh, it's no big deal," she replied. "What's important is that you and me and Harold are all friends again."

"And a little _more_ in the case of you and Harold, I hear," Jasmine said in a low voice with a wink and a nudge that made Zoey blushed.

"Oh, haha, yeah," Zoey said with a bashful blush. "Well what can I say, I think we're in love."

"It's a powerful thing," Shawn said with a knowing nod before grabbing Jasmine's hand and sharing a smile with her.

As they continued their conversation, The Moonchild and The Good Twin approached Dakota.

"Hey, we're done setting the tables," Sammy told the group's coordinator. "Well, like, our half of them anyway."

"Is it alright if we go help DJ in the kitchen?" Dawn asked. "I'm quite sure he wants the help right now."

"Hmm...," Dakota murmured, tapping her chin as she looked around the room. "...yeah, you can go. We're basically done here anyway."

"Great!" Sammy said happily, and she and Dawn hurried off hand-in-hand.

/

Off in a relatively secluded corner of the room that was to be used for the party, The Pageant Queen and The Evil Genius sat with only about a yard between them. The latter was reading a thick book, while the former filed her nails.

"So. Why aren't you helping the others with the decorations?" Scarlett asked with a haughty smirk.

Sugar snorted. "I'm way too _tired_ to help," she said, crossing her arms and scowling. "Besides, their fashion sense is so _bad_ , if I started helpin' I'd have to do everything over from the beginnin'!"

Scarlett's smirk widened. "So in other words, they rejected your help entirely. Why am I not surprised?" She looked back at her book as Sugar gave her a hateful glare.

"Well why aren't _you_ helpin', Miss Smarty-britches?" Sugar asked. "Oh wait, it's cause nobody here likes you!"

"Precisely," Scarlett said, unperturbed as she continued to read. "I'm well aware that there's no love lost between myself and the others. Why deny it?"

"So why aren't you off causin' trouble like you always do?" Sugar asked gruffly.

Scarlett laughed, and gave the pageant star a disbelieving look. "Well I have no desire to, for a start," she answered. "I'd rather cause as little hassle for myself as possible so long as I'm trapped on this zeppelin, and staying in one place in full view of several people means they won't confront me later with baseless suspicions of every perceived sabotage their minds invent."

Sugar glowered at her, then sat back in her chair and huffed. "So in other words, uh, you just turned _weak_ after gettin' your butt whipped by that girl with the arms."

"Feel free to believe whatever makes you feel better," Scarlett said calmly as she turned a page.

The pageant queen snorted again. "Well duh, I already do _that_..."

/

Dawn and Sammy walked into a kitchen fit for a restaurant and immediately took in deep, happy breaths. " _Fantastic_!" Sammy said in delight as she and her girlfriend walked over to DJ, hard at work in front of a stove with his back to them.

"It all smells so delicious, DJ," Dawn added.

Their boyfriend took a sip of something, then put his ladle back in the pot and started stirring again as he looked back at them. "Hey, just who I wanted to see," he told them with a happy smile.

Sammy wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his back. "You've been working really hard today, haven't you?" she asked him.

"You cooked up enough food for all of us, and even took the time out to help save the others," Dawn added, hugging DJ's other side.

The gentle giant just chuckled. "Like I've been sayin', it's no big deal," he said. "We've _all_ been workin' hard to make this party happen. You too included." He looked to his right, and Sammy leaned around to kiss him on his lips. He looked to his left, and bent down to meet Dawn's lips halfway. "Everything's almost done cookin'," he added as he resumed stirring with a blush on his face, his girlfriends giggling and blushing and kissing one another behind his back. "So go tell the others to start carrying it out to the buffet table, and to round up everyone else, too."

"As you wish," Dawn told him as the girls separated and headed back towards the door.

/

It was nearly half an hour before the vast majority of the former competitors had gathered and the buffet that had been prepared for them was fully set out on the single long table near the front of the room. The lights had been dimmed, and most of those gathered there had gotten cups of punch or other drink as they waited for the last two of the thirty-seven cast members to arrive.

Eventually, the man of the hour arrived in the care of Izzy, who was holding one pair of hands over his eyes while a second pair lead him forward from behind.

"Girl, what are you even doin'," the overachiever complained. "Lightning _knows_ where he's goin' to, there's no need to keep him in the dark!"

"I know," Izzy told him as they moved into the ballroom. "I just wanted to anyway." Eventually, they reached the open area in front of the long food-laden table that the others had gathered around. "Ta-da!" the wild child exclaimed excitedly as she released her hands and retracted the extra pair.

"Wow...," Lightning said in genuine wonder as he looked around, his eyes quickly focusing in on the banner hanging above them that carried his name. Dakota nodded to Sierra, and the blogger quickly whipped out her phone and got into filming position.

"Lightning," Courtney said, the murmur of the others coming to a halt as she stepped forward with the all-important suitcase full of cash still in her arms, "on behalf of all of us I'd like to present you with your prize of one _million_ dollars." She opened the case to show that the money was still there, then snapped it close again and presented the case to her teammate, ally, and friend. Lightning's eyes widened as he gingerly accepted it. "With this, you are _officially_ the winner of Total Drama All-Stars."

Lightning sniffed, then drew a slightly-blushing Courtney into a one-handed hug as he began to cry. "Sha- _YEAH_ , baby!" he exclaimed in utter joy, breaking the embrace and raising his prize high. "Lightning _is_ the _champion_!" As all but the most stubborn or hateful members of the cast whooped and cheered and applauded for him, Geoff slipped a remote control out of his pocket and pressed a button that sent confetti and balloons raining down upon them all.

"That's right," Dakota said, walking over to him with just enough of a glance at Sierra to alert the victor to the would-be cameragirl's presence. "Now how about a toast, to our winner!" she said, raising her glass and looking at everyone.

"And to Jo," Geoff added, raising his own glass, "for providing us with a wicked base of operations, the moola we needed for the after party, and the transportation to get everyone to it!" Jo raised her own glass with a wide and cocky smirk on her face.

"And to Dawn," DJ spoke up, earning a blush from his mystical girlfriend as all eyes moved to her. "For seein' the disaster that caused us all to come together in the first place."

"To the All-Stars," Sierra chimed in, raising her glass as she continued to film. "For giving the world the best darn season of Total Drama ever!"

"And to _all_ of us," Lightning joined in enthusiastically, "for takin' every last thing Chris threw at us head-on and livin' to tell the tale."

" _CHEERS_!" a chorus of thirty-six voices rose up with thirty-seven hands, with even those normally too stoic or spiteful joining in.

/

Food and drink and merriment flowed freely as the party began in earnest, the young adults taking what they wanted from the buffet table and heading off to sit at tables or stand around as they ate and conversed. The five members of the unnamed band excused themselves along with B about fifteen minutes in, and headed back beyond the curtain.

Soon after, the curtain was pulled apart and they began to perform, the silent genius on the sidelines maintaining the ever-important audio system. Song after song, some familiar and some brand new, filled the room as spirits rose almost impossibly higher. Those who'd had their fill of the meal for the moment took to the dance floor; friends danced with friends and lovers danced with lovers, Gwen and Zoey even pulling their boyfriends from the band as Ella, Beardo, and Cody put on a three-person love song. DJ shared a dance or two with Sammy and Dawn before retreating to the kitchen, allowing the two girls to focus on one another while he readied a variety of desserts to the cast's delight.

The party stretched late into the night, the revelers moving from dancing to dining to conversing as they pleased. Countless secrets were shared, pictures taken, revelations had, plans for the future made, and confessions given throughout the course of the night; but those, perhaps, are other stories for other times.

At some point past midnight, as the festivities were finally dying down, Sierra gathered everyone's attention to her and the camera she'd set up on a tripod at the front of the room. "Excuse me, everyone?" she asked over the din of light conversation, the band having already stopped playing. "Could you all come up here, please? I wanna get one last photo of everybody. You know, to remind us all of tonight."

"And to put on your _blogs_ , right?" Topher added in a half-joking, half-scathing tone.

Sierra looked thoughtfully at her camera for a brief moment, then turned back to the slowly-gathering others and said "Well yeah, but only if everyone's okay with it. This is a pretty special night for all of us, so I think I can understand if anyone wants to keep it _only_ between us."

Some were shocked and other simply amused by Sierra's remarks, but in the end all thirty-seven assembled into four rough rows for the largest Total Drama cast picture to date, spanning two generations and five seasons.

Lightning stood proudly at the center of it all, the banner congratulating him high in the background and the million-dollar briefcase in his hands.

To his left – the camera's right – stood his final opponent, Jasmine, standing tall and confident. Hand in hand with her was Shawn, smiling somewhat sheepishly and somewhat awkwardly. To the right of him were Harold and Zoey, hands loosely on one another's backs and happy smiles on their faces. At the end of the row were Justin, winking at the camera, and Amy, holding onto Justin's arm with a smug look.

To Lightning's right – the camera's left – was Courtney, a pleasant smile on her face as her good hand held on to her cast. Gwen's left hand was on her friend's shoulder while her right was around Trent's waist with his left crossed around hers. The musician, in turn, had used his free arm to get Noah into something of a lazy headlock; the slacker looked mildly annoyed despite his smile. Alejandro stood about a foot to the left, the gap allowing space for those in the rows above and below; the charmer's arms were crossed and he was smirking as though about to shake his head in disbelief. Next to him was Scarlett, posing with her left side to the camera and her hand on her hip. Her smirk was dark and smug, that of a criminal who knew she'd never be caught.

Topher stood behind Alejandro and Noah, one arm on his friend's shoulder and the other elbow rested lightly on Noah's head as the wannabe host leaned forward slightly and gave the camera a dashing smile and finger pistol. A little ways to the right of him were Beardo, Beth, and B, the smallest of the trio supported on the shoulders of her larger friends so they were all seen along behind Trent over to Lightning.

The right half of the back row showed Geoff and Bridgette behind Shawn on either side, the party-lover lifting his girlfriend up by the waist so the camera could better see her kissing him on the forehead. Further on near the end of the row Sugar forced herself through between Zoey and Justin, a wide and mischievous grin on her face as she gave the indie girl rabbit ears. And beyond and behind Amy was Scott, his arms crossed and his wired-shut jaw forced into as much of a scowl as he could manage.

Down on one knee in front of Jasmine was Jo, flexing her right arm in front of Lightning with a powerful and cocky smile on her face. Ella was sitting demurely on her knees next to the jock-ette, and Tyler was next – also on one knee, and flexing both arms downward. Ezekiel was to his left – the camera's right – hugging his own knees with a calm smile. And at the end of the row, Leonard sat cross-legged below and in front of Justin and Amy, his wand raised and his free hand making some odd sign.

In front of Courtney and Lightning stood Cameron, his polite smile and wave tinged with nervousness as his gaze drifted to who was in front of him. Cody, to his right – the camera's left – had only a flirtatious sort of confidence in his smile as he winked and sent double finger pistols at the camera as if to proclaim his single status to the ladies of the world. Further to the left were the threesome of Sammy, DJ, and Dawn, the gentle giant sitting cross-legged in the gap between Alejandro and Noah. Dawn sat happily on his left knee with her arm on his back, while Sammy sat happily on her knees on the end with her hand entwined with DJ's.

Sitting front and center in the bottom row, reclining lazily with their backs against one another, were Izzy and Staci. The wild child sat below Cameron, a wide grin on her face and two right arms raised. The werewolf sat below Jo, her long ears perked up and her tail curled around on the ground in front of her. To the left of Izzy were Sam and Dakota, the gamer on his knees below Sammy and DJ with Dakota reclining in an almost hedonistic position below Dawn and Cody, her head just above her boyfriend's lap. And to the right of Staci sat Lindsay on her knees, holding lightly onto Tyler's left arm as she smiled sweetly at the camera. Lastly was Sierra, lounging in the bottom right with her left hand raised and a bright smile on her face.

All thirty-seven contestants from the first two generations of Total Drama held their positions as the camera's timer ticked down, a sense of finality in the air.

A flash, and it was all over.

* * *

 **Author's Note - Post Script**

And there. You. Have it. I sincerely hope it lived up to all the hype that's been built for it, and all your expectations.

My biggest worry is that the helpers ended up stealing the spotlight from Jasmine and Lightning. I needed something to fill the time given to me by the absence of Mal and thus the incredibly shitty end of Mike's subplot, and what I decided to do was extend the role the helpers played, by having the two little fight sequences.

Speaking of the helpers, while I know a lot of you were expecting all of them to be allies of the finalists, I wanted to keep them (and the finalists) balanced between Hero and Villain, old and new, male and female. Thus each got one helper they wanted (Courtney and Harold), and one that they didn't. This also meant that there was still tension and the chance for a bit more drama in things as it allowed for the two fight scenes, as well as the bit of betrayal at the end. Obviously, Jasmine and Lightning weren't gonna want to spend time clashing when they didn't need to, meaning that having some antagonistic helpers would help make the early moats more interesting. Why did I go with Sugar and Alejandro? Well, in part because I didn't want to use Scarlett or Scott again. Sugar also had the benefit of being the season's second boot, which meant having her here would give her a bit more screentime. And Alejandro...well, I thought pitting him against Courtney would be neat to write and hopefully read.

Then the endings. Obviously, both had to center around a fight between the two finalists, both to put the focus back on them and because, honestly, it was totally necessary. The canon 'ending' with Mike/Zoey basically just getting the sword without a fight was way too weak. So instead I wrote a couple different fight scenes, which I hope were intense enough to make up for some possible screen-hogging from the helpers.

I decided on Lightning as the canon winner...I don't know, I guess it was because I didn't want to give him his fifth loss. Despite how he handled it in Jasmine's ending, I think he would've taken it pretty hard in the end.

Incidentally, the reason why I cut Jasmine's ending short was...well, honestly it was because I only wanted to write the extended island sinking sequence once. I figured something as big as that should only be seen one time, y'know? To make it more impactful when it happens.

Speaking of that, I hope you liked it! That and the after party are what the bonus clips have been leading up to. it's funny; I initially started the bonus clip stuff based on the idea that nobody liked how the All-Stars ended up drifting up to the sun in canon, and it all just...developed from there. I hope the payoff to that little subplot was good, and even more so that you enjoyed the epilogue after party because let me tell you that took a long time to write.

The line I used to the end of it, "but those, perhaps, are other stories for other times.", is something of a reference to the Legend of Total Drama Island by Gideoncrawle. I highly suggest you all check it out; the style is unique and the writing is excellent.

And of course, that final photograph. I sorely wish I had talent at art so that I could draw it, as I feel it would be far better as a visual than as a written description.

Well...with all that said, please let me know what you thought of the finale in a review! Both what you liked, and your critiques. This was truly an amazing season to write, and I hoped I ended it - and the times of the first and second generation casts - well.

I'll see you all next week, on **Friday, August 12th, 2016 for the debut of Total Shuffled Pahkitew Island!**

\- Fangren

* * *

 **Appendix: TSAS Eliminated Contestants**

Scarlett - (14th Place)

Sugar - (13th Place)

Harold - (12th Place)

Ella - (11th Place)

Alejandro - (10th Place)

Noah - (9th Place)

Justin - (8th Place)

Izzy - (7th Place)

Gwen - (6th Place)

Shawn - (5th Place)

Scott - (4th Place)

Courtney - (3rd Place)

Jasmine - (RUNNER-UP | Alternate Winner)

Lightning (WINNER | Alternate Runner-up)


End file.
